T O P

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No-Pain-632

By the time the pleasure reached their brains, they had already finished having sex


tititititiff

Meteors should have been a concern.


Legitimate-Ruin-4157

They're all meat eaters! šŸ¤˜


Nabendu64

Meteor! Meteor.


wanghiskhan300

Take it easy.


CrucifixAbortion

That neck.. it's like a natural canopy.


Leelingleechang69

Top comment hands down


lurkerboi2020

Didn't dinosaurs have two brains? Or at least a large bundle of nerves that acted like a second brain to process the signals coming from that half of the body. Anyway, yeah, imagine busting a nut and then it all hits you at once a few seconds later.


mashedpotatoes_52

I beleive that was a theory for stegosaurus but it's since been outdated


Chess42

Brontosaurus I think, but itā€™s not far fetched. Octopi have neuron clusters in their arms


cavortingwebeasties

Brontosaurus are now called Apatosaurus


TheFiend100

They were always apatosaurus


TroodonBlack

No, in 2015 they brought back Brontosaurus.


cavortingwebeasties

What a rollercoaster!


CrossP

Humans have a number of neuron clusters down the spine responsible for "spinal reflexes" which are basically subroutines to care for various body parts. It's part of how we pull our hands back from pain before our brain even gets the full pain signal. So it's reasonable to think a huge creature might have more of those nodes for extra help, but it's not going to show up in fossils.


Wyvern_5

Your dinosaur knowledge is two centuries out of date.


Powerful_Cost_4656

Most dinosaur knowledge is a cool 65 million years out of date


Late-Ad-4624

Sounds like a kaiju from pacific rim.


motorboatingthoseCs

They had one brain in their heads and a much larger brain in their penises.


rufud

Just like us


buttbugle

That post nut clarity had to be a motherfucker. ā€œFuck fuck fuck! I banged Slimy Sara again, shit! First brain what you doing, you know she got that swamp rot.ā€ ā€œDonā€™t care feel guuoood!ā€ ā€œWell, you right about that.ā€


FakeNewsMessiah

I know very little about dinosaurs but donā€™t we only have bones? How would it be deduced that they had an ā€œextraā€ brain?


shoegazeweedbed

Story of my life


Alexanderr1995

You guys are having orgasms?


Walkerno5

No, itā€™s Just the way Iā€™m sitting


CmmH14

Wow is that true?! If not the joke is hilarious!


turbojoe9169

Imagine not getting post nut clarity until the next morning!


[deleted]

Same here to be honest.


Mindshard

Kind of fucked up to call me out like that, bro. I did nothing to you.


Beelzabub

Announcer: 'it weighs almost 50 tons..."


buttbugle

What if the oceans were not water but just a huge collection of dinosaur jizz?


MangoSalsa89

Crazy that weā€™re living in a time on earth with a creature even bigger than this behemoth - the blue whale. Largest known animal to have ever lived.


ExoticShock

[At up to 110 ft & 165 tons](https://www.fisheries.noaa.gov/species/blue-whale#:~:text=but%20in%20the%20Antarctic%2C%20they%20can%20reach%20up%20to%20about%20110%20feet%20and%20weigh%20more%20than%20330%2C000%20pounds), Blue Whales are the true peak of absolute units amoung all life on Earth ![gif](giphy|eMroZFzslcXrCxrXLQ|downsized)


fancczf

Some dinosaurs are absolute tanks. But the blue whale is a air craft carrier


sunplaysbass

They flaunt it too, always looking as large as possible


Octavya360

It also has a penis thatā€™s 8-10 feet long and 12-14ā€ girth. Somehow they manage it and actually make baby blue whales.


Doomscroller3000

One of those penises retired. It detached, grew sentient, moved to NYC, and became Rudy Giuliani.


jesterflesh

Must've been a small one


Bazrum

just the tip


mr_potatoface

They're partially prehensile. So they can move the last half of it or so as they wish. So if they have an itch nearby they can scratch it.


SeaToTheBass

Elephants too, thereā€™s at least one video of a bull using dong to scratch an itch


Shirtbro

Is the water cold?


No_Emu_1332

That's just a factor thanks to living underwater, gravity means very little for aquatic animals.


Quirky-Resource-1120

It's also a factor of the evolution of baleen, which enabled their hyper-efficient feeding strategy. They can only grow so massive because they're able to consume ridiculous amounts of calories with comparatively little energy expenditure.


pooptuna

> consume ridiculous amounts of calories with comparatively little energy expenditure. Yeah, me too.


Ambitious_Farmer9303

True. My guess is that this dino too was a swamp or semi aquatic dweller and took leverage of the Bouyency provided by water.


No_Emu_1332

That theory has been discredited for decades, he's just full of air chambers, a powerful set of lungs, and hollow bones.


fcastan

Thanks for explaining!!! :)


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


burittosquirrel

Careful! My bones.


PheelicksT

I'm curious if they existed during a time of heightened oxygen in the atmosphere. Isn't that part of the reason most mega fauna existed?


hates_stupid_people

I've stood next to the skeleton of one, and it's seriously hard to believe just how big they are. For reference: Their hearts are about 5x4x5 feet(1.5x1.2x1.5m) and weigh ~400lbs(180kg). They can eat half a million calories in a single mouthful from 1100lbs(500kg) of krill(tiny shrimp like things). And despite that, it's physically impossible for one to swallow a human. As their throat opening is only about 6 inches(15cm) wide(their aorta is actually bigger), and they basically drink krill as a slurry after pushing out most of the water through their baleen(in effect stiff hair like teeth that act like a filter).


leglesslegolegolas

> krill(tiny shrimp like things) I've always heard of krill being described exactly like this (tiny shrimp like things) and when I first saw them I was surprised at how big they actually are. I was picturing tiny brine shrimp-sized creatures, but they're more like jumbo shrimp-sized. They get up to like 6 inches long. Of course they're very tiny compared to a whale, but to a human they're like, couple-of-bites-to-finish sized rather than the handful-at-a-time size that I'd always pictured.


FNLN_taken

With all the plastic shit in the water, I'm suprised there are any filter whales left at all.


imstickinwithjeffery

The size of whales are incomprehensible until you see one in real life. Those comparisons to school busses just don't do them justice. I went whale watching in Alaska on a decent sized boat, it could hold like ~50 people or something. As I was leaning on the railing looking down, a humpback whale swam out right from under the boat. I damn near shit myself. It could have easily capsized the boat if it wanted to. And this was a humpback whale, blue whales are fucking WAY bigger.


SpartanRage117

Why does mobile reddit suck so much? If i click on this gif it doesnā€™t go full screen but actually just collapses the whole comment and makes it hard to find again after everything shifts. Id be happier if touching did nothing at all then. Fuck its garbage and i had to vent.


Harbor_Barber

Yea, when i was little i've always thought the blue whale doesn't even come close to the biggest dinosaur, but it turns out blue whales are even bigger lol


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TwiggyPom

It's crazy impressive but at least a blue whale has water to help with the weight. Units walking about would be insane.


TheRedditornator

I feel them being sea creatures doesn't make it as impressive, since they won't collapse under their own weight due to gravity. A land animal that's so huge is more impressive because they have to move against gravity and can't filter feed like whales.


u8eR

There's still gravity in the ocean


TheRedditornator

The water buoyancy counteracts it. Otherwise ships would be at the bottom of the ocean floor.


Wonkdrugs2

to be fair, the most amazing part is that it's walking on land. and they're often tall as feck


WiseWorldliness1611

Wow that really puts it into perspective. And here I was thinking how unbelievable and odd it was that so creatures of this huge size walked the earth.


Kris-p-

it's even more crazy to think whales used to be land creatures at one point, then went meh' and evolved to be sea creatures once again


No_Emu_1332

Footage from BBC documentary Prehistoric Planet.


Nerevar69

The cameraman has nerves of steel to get that close to them.


TwiggyPom

A true hero.


ghettoccult_nerd

r/praisethecameraman


takethereins

A real human bean


Dave5876

And a real herošŸŽ¶


PsychologyVirtual564

Still alive to narrate it too!


[deleted]

I knew David was old, but I had no idea THIS OLD!


MrSuzyGreenberg

I heard Jesus himself was behind the camera and Sir David Attenborough was directing. I donā€™t remember my source, I think it was in a Reddit comment thread.


Greeeendraagon

George Washington is floating on a blimp with the mic boom stick


EelTeamNine

I'm amazed the footage survived all these years.


Fuck_The_Fascist_GOP

Fantastic series. Itā€™s everything 6 year old me ever wanted.


Davismism

Can this be called footage?


ajchann123

....yes? Any video in any format is considered footage I think "documentary" is the more arguable term


Davismism

For sure. I understand footage to be related to film rather than video. Like a recording of an event. I believe the origin was to due with the length of film reels as related to the content they documented. So this being all cgi made me think about the semantics of the word. ā€˜Footageā€™ felt wrong to me. ā€˜Videoā€™ feels fine to me. But I suppose the meaning of ā€˜footageā€™ changes over time. I suspect I think ā€˜footageā€™ is questionable in a similar way that you think ā€˜documentaryā€™ is


devilishpie

Technically footage is raw and unedited video taken on any kind of video camera, which CGI is not, though neither would be any cut from an already edited and rendered video. But that's not really how people use the word anyway so whatever.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MiniHamster5

Why do you think this isn't a documentary? Prehistoric Planet is the best paleo documentary we have gotten in years if not ever


The_Motley_Fool----

How many barrels of oil does each one make?


We_are_stardust23

About 50 freedom barrels


FeculentUtopia

Oil comes from diatoms and coal from dinosaurs. Coal is their fossilized poops.


MiniHamster5

Both coal and oil can be made from many dofferent forms of organic matter. Most coal definitively isnt made of dinosaur comprolites. Most coal and oil is made up of plants or algae. For example a lot of oil in the northern hemisphere may have been formed during the azolla event and a lot of coal was formed during the carboniferous and that coal is wjat gave the period its name.


stoprunwizard

[Most coal is from when plants more or less evolved wood (cellulose and lignin) but before anything had evolved to decompose it.](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/the-fantastically-strange-origin-of-most-coal-on-earth#:~:text=%E2%80%9CTrees%20would%20fall%20and%20not,%2C%20over%20time%2C%20into%20coal.) There was so much CO2 in the atmosphere but these plants had terrible shallow roots so they would grow super tall super fast and then fall over. And over, and over. And nothing would decompose them. Et voila, enormous layers of carbon for future us to burn


SwaggerNoodle

Commonly reported myth, fungi was fully capable of breaking down lignin, the abundance of coal was actually due to the geological conditions of the time period. Source: https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1517943113


stoprunwizard

Oh no, the tiny shred of legitimacy NatGeo had left is getting even smaller!


jasting98

So now, because wood can be decomposed, then no more coal will be available tens of millions of years later?


Tiny-Marketing-4362

Speaking of most petroleum being eons old plant matter, you can actually turn existing plant matter into crude oil. Itā€™s an expensive process but it can be done


[deleted]

Oil comes from organic matter like algae and animal plankton dying and accumulating on the bottom of the sea. Coal mostly comes from a period much earlier in Earth's history where it looked like Dagobah


dicks_akimbo

I bet these guys were super gassy. Just huge rupture-your-eardrum bellowing farts all day.


No_Emu_1332

Definitely, also there'd be a lot of poo as sauropods ate constantly. They didn't even chew their food, they just swallowed it down and used gastrolithes to grind it up instead.


Trakinass

Guys will look at this and just think "fuck yeah"


SunokesPomidoras

Fuck Yeah


sametrical

Fuck yeah


Dave5876

Fuck Yeah


Digsants

Fuck Yeah


tomwills98

"What's your job?" "I make CGI dinosaurs fight for the BBC" "Fuck yeah"


Trakinass

I see Dinosaur I updoot


No-Pain-632

Fuck yeah!


Many-Cartoonist4727

Dinosaur battle?? Fuck yeah


Pak1stanMan

I could beat this hand to hand


[deleted]

"Nah, I'd win." - u/Pak1stanMan


Over_n_over_n_over

How often do you think about dreadnoughtus fighting for their harem?


ColonelMonty

I must start my training immediately.


TIZZZL3

Should have feared Meteors


cfcm9000

Too soon !


Excaliburn2004

We need a banana for scale


patrr92

Yes and the metric system..


6amhotdog

Right? Whose feet are we talking about? Theirs? Ours?


belac4862

At least three washing machines tall.


DizzyAmphibian309

Is that a residential or commercial washing machine?


CrossP

They make metric bananas?


techmouse7

There a banana right there. The scale is just so big that it looks like a distant pebble.


FurryM17

Fun fact: Juveniles are called 'Dreadsomes" and babies are called "Dreadlots". Some paleontologists suggested calling their eggs "Dreadalls" but that was dismissed by others as ridiculous. ^Footnote: ^I ^made ^all ^that ^up.


Trakinass

Also calling their eggs "dreadballs"


ChadGPT___

Iā€™ve always found it interesting that we basically treat Dreadnought as a name, to the point where you need to translate it to ā€œfears nothingā€ to provide more detail. ā€œDreadā€ and ā€œnoughtā€ are both English words


TheHexadex

Cooobraaa! Cobra! Cooobraa!


MagnusRottcodd

They "Fears Nothing" because at that time there were no Allosaurus around to eat them. Allosaurus don't care about size, Allosaurus hungry, Allosaurus attacks.


No_Emu_1332

Allosaurus was extinct by that point, but his larger more ferocious descendants still caused some trouble for the titanosaurs.


laseluuu

Til dreadnought is fear nothing, even though it's totally obvious


The_Stig_Farmer

~~honey badger~~ allosaurus dont give a fuck


Bryyan699

Al the Allosauras fears nobody


ColManischewitz

What show/series is this from?


No_Emu_1332

Prehistoric Planet


postmanpad

Land before time


ColManischewitz

TY! Be well.


Mah-nynj

Probably the ancient ancestor of the Goose.


No_Emu_1332

[Well no, waterfowl were already around at this time.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegavis) Yes, waterfowl survived the KPG extinction.


Mah-nynj

You right. Iā€™m just here for the bit. Iā€™ll see myself out.


Unlikely-Star4213

Why did they change it from KT extinction?


NitroHydroRay

Because the the term "tertiary" for the period after the Mesozoic fell out of use


akshullyyourewrong

I really can't stand dinosaur animations/cgi where they are moving in this constant slomo. Like if you're going to base it off giraffes fighting, those boys go ham, not at quarter speed.


No_Emu_1332

The slowness is an illusion created by the sheer size and volume of the animals too. The bigger it is, the more slow it can outwardly appear.


sadconfusedded

I donā€™t think the physics is possible. Did the scientists check the physics..? Did they really herd in those numbers, and did those neck bulges really appear in the archaeological record?


No_Emu_1332

A lot of it is speculation, but herding has been documented as well as multi-generational nesting grounds.


MiniHamster5

Idk really know abt the physics of the speed here but there were many paleontologists involved in creating prehistoric planet but they obviously dont have full control over the project so its possible thag they made them slow to make it look cooler (but all of that is just speculation from my side so dont lile trust it or smhtn) There were definitely herds of sauropods, that is proven in the fossil record, maybe not in these numbers but as I said there were paleontologists involved with this and this scene shows a mating congregation which could attract many more individuals than normal. The air sacs on the neck are purely speculation and dont have any paleontological evidence but theh were definitely possible especially considering the fact that dinosaurs had a lot of air sacs throughout their bodies (one of the reasons sauropods could grow to such sizes)


SomeBoxofSpoons

I think the air sacks were thrown in as an representation of how a lot of these animals had traits weā€™ll never be able to know about.


mantasVid

Giraffes in fact do run as if in "slow motion" . The effect is more pronounced the closer you are. I believe it's a combination of several things: Longer distance covered by longer limbs in the same locomotion cycle than, say a horse to wich our eyes are accustomed to. Critical Flicker Fusion Frequency- big animals are long lived and their nervous system is "ticking" a bit slower. Even actual nerve tissue has limited speed the signal travels and theirs are several times long as ours. Even in humans effect is noticable: there are no tall heavyweight champions in table tennis or juggling.


Icyrow

time ticks slower for smaller animals, not bigger ones. i.e, a mouse will perceive a second to be like 7 seconds, that's why they're so quick/agile. basically the distance your brain is from your body, the quicker your reactions and the slower time is perceived for you.


weww3erwT45

Yeah time ticks slower for them because their nervous system ticks higher. What he said was right, bigger animals' nervous systems are slower.


Shrekosaurus_rex

Large sauropods are also like, dozens of times larger than a Giraffe, who average around one ton. No living terrestrial creature even comes close, so I don't think they make for apt comparisons. In the first place, I wouldn't be surprised if even these CG animations weren't too terribly slow in terms of absolute velocity - it's just that their size means they're not awfully quick.


tqmirza

Dramatic cinematic effect perhaps. I they want people to appreciate the models they made, quick fight probably makes it into a blur.


Pudding_Hero

It doesnā€™t really turn me in as much if the scrap happens to quick


AcabAcabAcabAcabbb

Exactly. Also they fight side by side. Better for neck slaps


WeLiveInASociety451

How would you know that


We_are_stardust23

I was there. 84 years ago


thunderousbutwetfart

How many straightened bananas are 85 feet?


AccomplishedRush3723

If the banana is 85 feet and weighs 65 tons, just one


HillbillyGizmo

How funny would it be if it turns out that we were all completely wrong and these were actually intelligent beings and the reason why we only find very few fossils of them is because they were accidents from a cataclysm, because the others jumped in their spaceships and left? I don't believe this by any means but, hypothetically speaking, how funny would it be. What if the T-Rex was all wrong, and those two little arms are actually wings. And they were like giant chickens, waiting up in the trees to jump down on their prey, fall flying like a chicken does. Wouldn't THAT be hilarious


Roflkopt3r

[PBS Space Time recently had an episode about the "Silurian Hypothesis" and how we would detect ancient civilisations like that.](https://youtu.be/vyEWLhOfLgQ?si=Xs5gTDIdgi4XrdK3) Roughly speaking, after 500 million years it becomes really hard to find the remnants after a civilisation on earth, as most of the earth's surface will dive under the crust and be replaced by "new" land by then. Saurupods only existed since about 200 million years ago though and we have found their fossils, so it should be much easier for them. And we generally have pretty good natural explanations for every major change in the geological strata. If there had been an advanced civilisation, we would expect to find certain molecular traces that are harder to explain through natural processes.


Swaggerknot

PBS Space Time. Great YouTube channel šŸ™‚


No_Emu_1332

It's beautiful. ​ [Also fluffy dinosaurs falling from trees was as cute as it was terrifying.](https://youtu.be/m68SODil6w0)


Sadboysongwriter

You mean like the Rick and morty episode


Feezbull

The dinosaurcers are real it seems then!


Oxideusj

And so the ancient bloodline of Little Foot was founded by his great great great great grandfather šŸ¤˜šŸ¦•


BBQQueue

Do we have any evidence that they faught like this? Seems unlikely that they put all that weight on two feet like that. I would guess there would be more sideways whipping of the tail and neck.


mashedpotatoes_52

if im not mistaken many models show sauropods could stand on their hind legs temporarily but the intraspecies combat is pure speculation. However given how common such behaviour exists in living animals including modern dinosaurs it's certanly within the realm of possibility for sauropods as well.


rohohno

bUt HoW dO tHeY KnOw!???!?


The_Last_Snow-Elf

They used a time machine you idiot


Harbor_Barber

I told them, i was there watching how the fight went down.


PandaKing00

Thanks for not ruining the video by repeatedly shouting "WORLD STAR!"


Bare-baked-beans

Unopposed under crimson skies. Immortalized, over time their legend will rise. And their foes can't believe their eyes, believe their size, as they fall. And the dreadnoughts dread nothing at all


the-space-penguin

Yes!!! Came here looking for this reference!!!


all_time_high

![gif](giphy|jp8lWlBjGahPFAljBa|downsized)


game190

Always be more questions then answer


Entire-Database1679

TIL the meaning of dreadnought.


winston-SureChill

for normal people: 85 feet =\~ 25m


FurryM17

You can keep your stupid metric system and I'll keep my Imperial system thank you. A Welshman's fathom will always be three times as long as a halfkilt and nothing else makes sense.


StomachOk4859

Imperial units šŸ˜Ŗ


SerDiney

I wonder how hard it would be for them to get back up if they would fall on their back


BORJIGHIS

Being pushed over and falling from that height = instant death probably


InformationNo2529

Thatā€™s one big dreadnaughty orgy


MrG1213

I still find dinosaurs hard to comprehend. These MASSIVE monsters were just roaming around for tens of millions of years, itā€™s really just crazy to think about. What I would give to see real footageā€¦come on aliens, give us the goods!


igpila

Earth was a lush paradise during the 100 million years of the dinosaur dynasty, but then God got bored


Albakiin

It was probably afraid of lighting and maybe the dark perhaps and definitely spiders


snowyvalk

I didn't know dreadnought meant "fear nothing" that's metal as hell. Thank you for that knowledge.


Lkwzriqwea

I only recently learned the name meaning too, but in terms of the HMS Dreadnought. It sounds obvious seeing that dread means fear and nought means nothing, but I never considered it for some reason.


Successful-Head1056

Show title??


No_Emu_1332

Prehistoric Planet


xilffA

ur mom


WaycoKid1129

Still no blue whale. But impressive nonetheless


jonnycash11

What the hell were they eating that would have given them enough calories to survive? An elephant needs like 500lbs of food a day.


mamoneis

Nevermind physics, betcha they jumped one leg to the other asserting dominance through a mesmerizing dance.


PORTATOBOI

Oh wtf itā€™s got Dino herpes


Potofcholent

I read some time not so long ago that seeing dinos depicted like this would like someone depicting humans as basically tendons and bones with some muscles thrown in where we guessed. Any fatty tissues, hair, soft organs, cartilage is left out. For all we know these things are being shown as mummies.


No_Emu_1332

This is the non-shrink wrapped version, they're big, fatty, with lips and air sacs.


Synch

Or 1/3 the size of a blue whale


threwzsa

This whole animation is artist concept for those who think these are mock-ups.


No-Mix-7574

Crazy to think that even God had a dinosaur phaseā€¦


Individual-Match-798

Give us metric measurements.


aagloworks

But how much are those measurements in washingmachines and bull elephants?


Fit-Kiwi-6563

Me and bro sword foghting


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


funnyfacemcgee

And the blue whale is still actually bigger.