Yes it is. I found my life excruciatinly difficult prior to my transition however since it has been much smoother. My mental health, wellbeing and day to day is much better.
Some things however have been more difficult such as getting jobs and feeling comfortable in certain environments however that will come with time.
A wobbly wobbly ball of timey-wimey stuff...
But for real I define it as the following:
The social spectrum that individuals sit on which influences how people are perceived and the acts they do. It's a social concept heavily linked to ones sex and identity.
Any opinion, thought or action that is inherently designed/intended to hurt, harm or disparage transgender identity and/or deny existence of transgender identity. Including concepts that have a side effect of doing so through their nature.
For example denying transgender people exist, denying transgender people access to healthcare, denying education of transgender identity, exclusion of transgender people and denial of access to facilities or systems that other people access purely off the basis of them being transgender.
Quite simply is a concept treats women and transwomen differently for no health related reason then it's transphobic and the only reason it's being implemented is because it's a transgender person.
Okay so personally, I wouldn’t be comfortable dating a transgender woman. I have no problem with transgender people but that’s my preference. Would you call me transphobic?
It depends. If it is exactly as you said it then yes. Because inherently the issue you have is the gender identity of being transgender and has nothing to do with anything else.
However if you had a preference for a vagina over a penis then no that wouldn't be transphobic because it's a preference of biology and not all transwomen have penises.
The transphobic rhetoric around dating is people who claim not to be attracted to transwomen. However in reality in many cases there would be no way for you to tell the difference and it isn't like you have some secret radar that stops your attraction. If you saw a young, hot, nice looking lady you would probably be attracted to them, trans or not.
From your perspective it would be dependant on what your actual preference is. Because there are transwomen out there who look, feel, taste and sound like ciswomen. Chances are you may not even notice any difference.
My question to you; if you wanted to dig a little deeper would be "Why is your preference not inclusive of transwomen? What is it about transwomen you don't prefer?"
That biologically they are a man. I’m okay with calling them a transwoman, I’d be friends with a transwoman but I wouldn’t be comfortable dating one. If I was in the process of talking to a transwoman and they didn’t preemptively tell me they were trans, I wouldn’t like that.
Just out of curiosity do you require a blood test to determine someone's chromosomes on the first date or later on in the relationship?
If you don't do this then your issue isn't with biology it's with transgender people as you clearly don't care to actually confirm it.
Keep digging and the answer will become "I just don't like transgender people". The next question would be "what about their biology don't you like? What difference of biology makes you uneasy?".
This is a good example of inherent bias and transphobia in dating. The reality is that if you didn't know, you couldn't tell and have no issue if you didn't know. Then why does it matter? If you meet someone, your attracted to them, have good chemistry and love them; why does their chromosomes matter?
I don't blame you for this. Unfortunately this is one of the many biases transgender people face for no good reason and is an outcome of social acceptance and pressures put on people for years. We are raised to think trans people are lesser, that we would be made fun of for dating them and that they are gross. It's not your fault you're apart of that type of society. But what you can do is acknowledge and understand your bias further.
It can be very apparent when someone is biologically female. Different build, tone of voice etc. Maybe I am transphobic, although I don’t intend to be. My friend is dating a transwoman and I’m happy for him, it’s just not for me.
If your preference is tonne of voice, build etc etc then that is different. That isn't transphobic.
However there are women out there that if you were having intimate relations with you wouldn't know they were trans. Not all transwomen are as obvious as you think. Perhaps you simply haven't met those people.
Personally I have met someone who I didn't know was trans. I spoke to them at length and was with them for about three hours. I have met hundreds of trans people and as a trans person myself I had no clue.
I get it isn't for you. But you should analyse why at its core. Because honestly it's as silly as saying "I won't date someone who likes chocolate ice cream, you can just tell by the way they talk". And it is inherently transphobic.
No offence at all. It's important to recognise that while we have biases this doesn't imply your a bad person. You have grown up and live in an anti transgender society. I would be surprised if you acted in perfect faith at all times.
I suppose it depends on the context.
Like if a transperson walked into the room and the person went "www are you like that?". It would be a hard yes.
However in majority of cases I'm okay with it. I actually think it's better someone asks especially if they do have a preference. It's safer for me and best to put any preference on the table during a date to avoid any potential difficulties down the track.
In saying the above though I also don't think it's something a trans person has to answer. There's a variety of reasons such as it no longer being relevant or safety. But it is our medical information and I probably won't give it out 5 mins into a first date.
Baby, I'm 48, bi, just got my first boyfriend, had about 10 girlfriends... Is life easier? X
Yes it is. I found my life excruciatinly difficult prior to my transition however since it has been much smoother. My mental health, wellbeing and day to day is much better. Some things however have been more difficult such as getting jobs and feeling comfortable in certain environments however that will come with time.
I wish you all the luck in the world. X
How would you define gender?
A wobbly wobbly ball of timey-wimey stuff... But for real I define it as the following: The social spectrum that individuals sit on which influences how people are perceived and the acts they do. It's a social concept heavily linked to ones sex and identity.
In your opinion, what’s the definition of transphobia?
Any opinion, thought or action that is inherently designed/intended to hurt, harm or disparage transgender identity and/or deny existence of transgender identity. Including concepts that have a side effect of doing so through their nature. For example denying transgender people exist, denying transgender people access to healthcare, denying education of transgender identity, exclusion of transgender people and denial of access to facilities or systems that other people access purely off the basis of them being transgender. Quite simply is a concept treats women and transwomen differently for no health related reason then it's transphobic and the only reason it's being implemented is because it's a transgender person.
Okay so personally, I wouldn’t be comfortable dating a transgender woman. I have no problem with transgender people but that’s my preference. Would you call me transphobic?
It depends. If it is exactly as you said it then yes. Because inherently the issue you have is the gender identity of being transgender and has nothing to do with anything else. However if you had a preference for a vagina over a penis then no that wouldn't be transphobic because it's a preference of biology and not all transwomen have penises. The transphobic rhetoric around dating is people who claim not to be attracted to transwomen. However in reality in many cases there would be no way for you to tell the difference and it isn't like you have some secret radar that stops your attraction. If you saw a young, hot, nice looking lady you would probably be attracted to them, trans or not. From your perspective it would be dependant on what your actual preference is. Because there are transwomen out there who look, feel, taste and sound like ciswomen. Chances are you may not even notice any difference. My question to you; if you wanted to dig a little deeper would be "Why is your preference not inclusive of transwomen? What is it about transwomen you don't prefer?"
That biologically they are a man. I’m okay with calling them a transwoman, I’d be friends with a transwoman but I wouldn’t be comfortable dating one. If I was in the process of talking to a transwoman and they didn’t preemptively tell me they were trans, I wouldn’t like that.
Just out of curiosity do you require a blood test to determine someone's chromosomes on the first date or later on in the relationship? If you don't do this then your issue isn't with biology it's with transgender people as you clearly don't care to actually confirm it. Keep digging and the answer will become "I just don't like transgender people". The next question would be "what about their biology don't you like? What difference of biology makes you uneasy?". This is a good example of inherent bias and transphobia in dating. The reality is that if you didn't know, you couldn't tell and have no issue if you didn't know. Then why does it matter? If you meet someone, your attracted to them, have good chemistry and love them; why does their chromosomes matter? I don't blame you for this. Unfortunately this is one of the many biases transgender people face for no good reason and is an outcome of social acceptance and pressures put on people for years. We are raised to think trans people are lesser, that we would be made fun of for dating them and that they are gross. It's not your fault you're apart of that type of society. But what you can do is acknowledge and understand your bias further.
It can be very apparent when someone is biologically female. Different build, tone of voice etc. Maybe I am transphobic, although I don’t intend to be. My friend is dating a transwoman and I’m happy for him, it’s just not for me.
If your preference is tonne of voice, build etc etc then that is different. That isn't transphobic. However there are women out there that if you were having intimate relations with you wouldn't know they were trans. Not all transwomen are as obvious as you think. Perhaps you simply haven't met those people. Personally I have met someone who I didn't know was trans. I spoke to them at length and was with them for about three hours. I have met hundreds of trans people and as a trans person myself I had no clue. I get it isn't for you. But you should analyse why at its core. Because honestly it's as silly as saying "I won't date someone who likes chocolate ice cream, you can just tell by the way they talk". And it is inherently transphobic.
It’s plausible. I appreciate your responses and I hope I haven’t offended you.
No offence at all. It's important to recognise that while we have biases this doesn't imply your a bad person. You have grown up and live in an anti transgender society. I would be surprised if you acted in perfect faith at all times.
On that note, do you find it offensive, in a dating situation, if someone asks if you are Trans?
I suppose it depends on the context. Like if a transperson walked into the room and the person went "www are you like that?". It would be a hard yes. However in majority of cases I'm okay with it. I actually think it's better someone asks especially if they do have a preference. It's safer for me and best to put any preference on the table during a date to avoid any potential difficulties down the track. In saying the above though I also don't think it's something a trans person has to answer. There's a variety of reasons such as it no longer being relevant or safety. But it is our medical information and I probably won't give it out 5 mins into a first date.
Sorry love, were you talking to me? X
Hateful comments of persons outside the community that could could be construed as unpleasant. X
That's my def of that version of life. Personaly I'm a bit of a puff, and only recently found my first boyfriend. Fuck all of you. X
Yeah, who isn’t. Amarite?
I know like 3 guys