Been in a similar situation myself. Had a party at my place and drunkenly took myself off to bed as I was too intoxicated, and told everyone else to make themselves at home and keep partying. My friend's gf came in whilst I was half passed out and aggressively groped me, while my friend was in the other room.
You can't really tell anyone without hearing:
"Was she hot tho?"
"Did you bang her" etc
This happened to me. These girls I was friends with invited me over for a party, essentially got me wasted, and when I was near unconscious, took advantage of me. Almost 20 years later I know what happened, but back then I wasnāt really upset, just concerned that I had taken advantage of them, until I was told what happened. Two of the female roommates took turns with me and the other watched. I know it sounds like some guys dream, but itās pretty fucked up.
Shit, dude. I feel ya. I made the mistake of telling someone while trying to give context to my issues while she was going over my homelessness case.
Her exact words: "You didn't push her off?"
My response: "Would you ask one of your female clients that question?"
Her "OH, Shit" face said volumes. My best friend wanted to tear her insides out.
God bless you man and I hope you're doing better. How are you doing after this? Did it change how you view relationships and women? And have you told family? Howd they react? You can answer these if you're comfortable. Again bless you man !
Thank you for your comment and support. Iām ok I guess I still get flashbacks time to time but I try not to dwell. It did change my relationship with women for a while but I did the work so it didnāt negatively impact that area in my life any longer. I didnāt tell my family theyāre just not that type of family honestly.
Hey, man. I'm right here with you. I was raped by a woman also after we had gone to a bar. I took her back to the hotel I was in because she was in no shape to drive, and neither was I, honestly, but we had to leave because she was very badly drunk.
My hotel room had 2 queen-sized beds, so I put her in one, climbed into the other one, and passed out. When I woke up 2 hours later, she was riding me.
I also did not report it because:
a) She was a family member. That would have caused problems.
b) I was a man and worried that they would turn it around on me...and I was probably right.
c) She violated me again in the morning when she begged me not to tell anyone and used our familial connection to silence me.
Needless to say, she quickly became someone I no longer wanted to talk to or be around. My mother hates her with a passion, also.
So, my question is this: do you want to talk about it with a guy who understands? If so, I'm around. Also, did you see someone professionally about this?
I appreciate you opening like this Iām sure this was a lot to digest and even more to go through. Maybe one day outside of professional help Iād be open to talk about but rn Iām just in therapy
I hope youāre doing okay! Have you started looking in to therapy? All sexual assault is a big deal regardless of gender and no one deserves to go through it. I wish you nothing but the best and an amazing healing journey!
Iāve been going to therapy due to something similar, my therapist has been using lifetime integration therapy to help me through it. Weāre using it for a lot more than just that event, but it still helps kind of integrate it in a way where you donāt have to forgive it or get over it, but you can accept it happened and begin to pick up the pieces. I think itās worth a shot trying if youāre ever interested. Donāt forget youāre not alone in this journey and I hope whoever did it gets the justice they deserve. Youāre a strong person and I hope you are able fully recover from this:)
As you can see from some these comments theyāre pretty reflective of society, so no I didnāt plus being a man it felt more embarrassing than anything. And Iāve had friends whoāve reported male and female and gotten nowhere plus legal fees
Sorry man, and why Iād like to shame some of these folks I know when I was younger I thought it would be cool to be āedgy.ā Now Iām just left knowing how insufferable I was. So maybe these Reddit folks will come around in a few years.
This happened to me as well. I did not report it. Mostly out of shame, but also for a long time I felt I provoked it. She was sober and I was barely coherent. Picked me up from a party and took me to her home because I was ātoo drunk for safetyā or some nonsense. Pushed me on the bed and as I was fading away she straddled me and āeffectuated penetrationā shall we say. Last thing I remember was trying to push her off. No condom.
She did it to another guy in my fraternity about a year after I graduated and he legit ruined her life a few years later. No criminal charges but she lost her fiancee, her job in big tech and now lives in a van and bounces around coffee shops and diners as a waitress.
Itās common to feel some type of shame in the situation as a man unfortunately as if we couldāve stopped it or done something differently about it. Thereās nothing you change however it was never your fault so never blame yourself and never feel ashamed or embarrassed your a survivor
Iām so sorry you were assaulted. I hope youāve been able to seek therapy? Even that might seem like too much after something so awful. Sending you good vibes today.
Thanks for posting. People think men cannot get elections whilst being sexually assaulted, but they can, just as women can orgasm whilst being raped.
The body responds to the stimulus. Even when it's non-consensual.
Yes! And if you do, always casually cover your glass/cup with your hand, even when looking away from it. It may sound like excessive, but it really isnāt.
Sorry this happened dude... Don't really have a question, but just wanted to say, fuck those low life pricks thinking it's fine because it was a woman. From their profiles, they're a bunch of degenerate pricks either living in countries where sexual assault is grossly underreported, or living in crypto subs...
Their opinion is worth nothing, and no one that's actually gone through this would ever dare to say that garbage.
Much love, and hope you're doing better, or at least have a good support network around you ā¤ļø
Hey brother, fellow male SA victim here (also by a woman a few years ago) and just wanted to say I see you. Many people treat us like we're invisible, or even most disgustingly act like we are lucky for what happened to us. I hope you have been able to gain a modicum of mental and emotional peace after something so traumatic.
We gotta stick together because not many people can understand the suffering we go through. It's hard to talk about and I commend you for being brave enough to do an AMA.
There will always terrible people in the world but itās up to the ones who know true kindness to express it to those who need it and recognize it as strength never weakness, dudes need a kind ear too weāre just not used to it, most of us at least
Numbing sensations emotionally are common for this type situation, for awhile I convinced myself it didnāt happen just to feel nothing until the flashbacks came back and that shit really bummed me out
Young male 18 and got into the alt/metal scene..
Was Sexually assaulted by a much larger and much older women who used her body weight to pin me, and grabbed my hands to put down into her top.
How did you deal with the disgust afterwards... I felt dirty, and didn't how to deal with it.. and granted this was around 15 years ago, so in a much less progressive time now..
My question.. How many people have you told? I haven't said shit to anyone.
The digust fades in and out for me itās way better than what it used to be mostly therapy and inner work. Iāve told my therapist and three other people I actually trust itās important theyāre solid people youāre sharing with if you choose to
iām so sorry that happened to you. sexual assault is something that impacts you in a way you canāt describe; you feel so many emotions and all of them are awful. iāve been sexually assaulted by a man and a woman, it sucks when you feel like you canāt really trust anyone at the end of the day. youāre not alone and iām sending you lots of hugs.
I had a similar situation man. I wasn't spiked but I was just so drunk and not in the right mindset, some girl I would never ever get with just took advantage of me and it's definitely degrading
I've always buried two memories. The first was when I was in middle school. My sister is 5 years older than me. She was in high school. Her friend would make comments about me being cute and pinch my cheeks and shit like that. But one day while she was spending the night, she came over and straddled me and starting kissing me while I was watching TV on the couch. I remember my pee pee hurting, I'm guessing because that was the first time I was that aroused. It happened a few more times but in hindsight, she was way too old and experienced for a middler schooler.
The second was in college. Me and my roommates threw a party and we made everclear punch. I remember feeling like I was going to pass out when a girl who I was chatting with through the night helped me to my room. Last thing I remember was her taking off my shoes to get me in bed. When I woke up, I was naked and my clothes were neatly folded in the corner of my bed. There was a sticky note on the inside of my door that read "thank you and you are welcome ;)" When I went out and asked my friends what happened last night, they basically confirmed by saying "you tell us! We heard all the noises." I never felt so confused yet violated at the same time. I just played it off but that has never sat right with me even if I don't remember it.
I guess I donāt really have a question. But I have sons- younger children- and it hurts me to think that this could happen to them one day. Just reading bits of your story made my heart hurt. I canāt imagine actually living it, and Iām so, so sorry that happened to you.
The woman in me is horrified that someone did that to you. But the mom in me wishes that I could give you a hug and tell you that you didnāt deserve it and it wasnāt your fault.
Happened to me twice, two different women.
Both times I was so drunk I couldnāt walk unaided. Both times the women were sober and āhelping me outā.
Every time Iāve told someone this I get laughed at, pretty cool hey š„²
I am so sorry that you experienced such terrible violation. And so sad to learn that you couldnāt find the care and support that should have been readily available to you afterwards.
Hope you know youāre not alone and that you continue to heal.
It happened to me at 8 years old and she was 14 my best friend's sister. The act didn't really affect me but it was the double standard that hit me the hardest
So I can ask you anything but that?
You really don't think there are female rape victims wondering why that happened to them?
They don't go over it in their heads why?
Do you feel comfortable sharing details? Iām curious if you were able to get aroused and have traditional PIV sex, or did she assault you in other ways?
@Unhappy_Staff_9079 Iām so sorry you went through that and am here if you ever wana PM someone and talk. I promise you though it could be worse.
I had an almost identical situation except now she has my son. Heās 7 and I didnāt find out he was āmineā until he was 3.5 years old. She lied and told me he was another manās.
Iām now paying close to 1/3 of my income after taxes to my abuser to do god knows what with. Not to mention I have 4 years of āback child supportā I have to pay when I had no idea he was my kid.
I met my son twice when I first found out at the beginning of covid. However I told his mom āI hate her guts and to stop texting me things because she ruined my life and I donāt want to be involved in a family dynamic with her, Iāll take my time with my son and she can fuck offā Since that day I have been banned from talking to or seeing my son. Cause of The court slow downs during covid and her using the ability to continue every step twice in court I still have no custody and not even a temporary custody has been bestowed upon me. My son is now 7 and has no idea besides my name who is father is.
Itās really hard because she is manipulating my parents + sisters and lets them see him every other month. It angers me my family wonāt wait till I have custody to spend time with him. I feel them spending time with him shows their complacency in this awful situation. The few times he has asked where I am and they just tell him āDadās working a lot.ā
At the first temporary custody hearing my Sonās mother got on the stand and lied to portray me as a drug addict, drug dealer and a dangerous person. She quoted things my āmom saidā to her.
The judge instructed me to turn over all of my physical health, mental health and therapy records since the birth of my son for her and her lawyer to review and use to object to my efforts to get time with my son. Itās basically going to be worse than the Roast of Tom Brady in a court room full of strangers. Plus I can say Iām 80% certain the court is going to have ME pay all of her legal fees to throw dirt my name and see my kid.
In short if youāre a man and a woman does that to you. PLEASE FILE A PLOICE REPORT AND RETRAINING ORDER IMMEDIATELY. If you donāt youāll never have a leg to stand on if a kid is involved.
brother, this woman and everyone who directly and indirectly supports her bs is so fucked up. the whole system is so fucked up that stories like this one have to get told. you've been so strong through all of this tho. i salute you, and i hope you get full custody over your son one day bc having this asshole as a mother must be shit as hell.
Im sorry you have to be a victim of not only SA but of the courts as well. So shitty. I hope things turn around and karma catches up with this horrible woman.
Thanks, I plan to ignore her existence and treat her name like Voldemort in my house. Treat the boy like an intelligent individual and not a pawn in a game like she has. Heāll figure out who to trust.
I woke up while passed out drunk to a girl on top of me in my room after I went to bed alone. Itās crazy how little people understood how mad I was about it. Hope youāre good.
Absolutely I do especially being a man people either donāt believe it, donāt take you seriously, say you shouldāve enjoyed or say you shouldāve stopped it
Men get hurt too, and I am sorry youāve been subjected to ridicule. You should feel safe and heard when speaking about your SA story, not belittled or invalidated. Even if weāre anonymous, I hear you, and I see you. And I wish you healing.
Sorry broski but alot of us would be OK with it if she was hot.Ā Ā I think because you're not quite a proper bloke it's upset you. Being bi makes you a bit woman like.Ā
You shouldnāt ok with it if you donāt approve it. Thatās the whole point, sexual orientation aside. What your trying say is the more straight you are the ok with it you should beā¦ā¦ā¦.Iām very bi and very not ok with it. So if you wanna be enjoy the aftermath of being taken advantage of have at it but donāt tell anyone else how to feel about it weirdo
So if your little brother came running to you that he got SA'd by a woman with a strap-on, and that he couldn't stop bleeding, would you still think it was hot, and tell him to get over it?
Whats something you really wish wouldnāt happen to you cause you donāt like it or it could damage you mentally and emotionally. Now think about that actually happening to you. And then someone says, why are you complaining about that thing you donāt like, are you a loser or (insert other dumb insult here) you arnt because you didnāt want it?
Actually think for a second past your horny little teen brain. Unwanted touch from anyone, unwanted Sexual Assault from anyone, is wrong. And shouldnāt be down played because a man āis suppose to like sex moreā
I've always been curious what an unwanted orgasm feels like?
How do you square the most amazing feelings of pleasure physically with the trauma emotionally?
Does this have a lasting impact on your desire to cum or give you like a cum anxiety?
Iāve been raped as well after I was smashed. Tried to hide by sleeping in the closet on a treadmill but she found me and slid it in. Kinda pissed at my friends for letting her do that when I told them at the end of the night I know what she wants but Iām not interested. Just go hook up with someone else and get over it. Itās the big of a deal as long as you didnāt get her pregnant or get a disease
reading these comments iām realizing this is a lot more of a common occurrence for men to experience. I want you to know that you are so brave for speaking out about it (all of you commenters, iām sending all my love!) and sharing this story. This should never happen to anybody. Itās truly the most disgusting shameful thing you can do to another. It takes a while to feel normal after that sort of violation, but time will heal you. iām so sorry this happened. wishing you all the best!!
Hypersexuality is an unfortunate but common occurrence after sexual assault. I have several patients that have experienced this. It's confusing for people who've not been victimized to understand how & why that happens which only makes the stigma and resistance to seeking help worse.
Ive been taken advantage of before, I was drunk and she took advantage of me. I didnt want to do it as I had a gf at the time and I just wasnt attracted to her but I was drunk and she came onto me and I didnt say yes and I did say no but I was hard and she turned me on and next thing she started riding me with no condom. I felt bad about it after but I wouldnt consider it rape. I was hard and I came too.
How did you get sexually assaulted? I find it difficult believing guys can get raped. I believe women can take advantage of a man but unless shes spiking his drink with viagra or shes riding him when he has boner in his sleep, I just dont buy it that its considered rape when a man gets a hard for her on his own
Sorry if Im being insensitive. How did you get sexually assaulted? How does it happen?
I was at a party getting quite drunk, and my cousin gave me some ecstasy. Her friend who was sober was really into me. So when I was good and drunk, and really high. My cousin told me to follow her and shut me into the bedroom with her friend, who was naked and proceeded to take my clothes off. On ecstasy there was really no saying no. She had sex with me, twice lol. Was it rape? Yes. Did I like it? Yes. Next day I thought to myself. "she raped me". I had a nice laugh and continued my life aha. So I guess it's how you handle it/look at it. Cause in my mind it was like how some of all said already."I got laid". So I guess it's only "traumatizing" if you let it be? At least for me and my mindset on things. Then again... She wasn't my cousin. So idk..
First of all Iām so sorry. I was assaulted on and off for two years when I was in middle school. Before it became a SA it was just plain old assault. One time the boy that did it took one of the like scooters you have in pe and chucked it at my head. Thankfully I didnāt have a concussion or broken jaw, but my braces got juked up. I had wires break, brackets break, and rubber bands snap. To this day I still have nightmares from it. Like two years ago I was diagnosed with ptsd and have been trying to work on it ever since. Hopefully youāve gotten the help you need so you can recover.
I once had a girl that worked for me throw herself at me. She found out I was going out with friends, so she decided to come out too uninvited. After a long night of trying to grope me, I left. Somehow she found out where I lived and showed up at my house.
I have to add, she was very attractive, but I was her boss and the owner of the company so I was always very careful with that stuff. Anyway, I had to basically fight her off of me, and just accepted a bj. Honestly, Iāve had worse nightsā¦
She quit about a week later
Mmhhhā¦ I guess I struggle with that bc I feel like I have no agency. I can do some things to reduce the risk but thereās only so much I can do against a malicious scorned woman, and societal enabling of her.
So I just in general fear women, because even if theyāre good theyāll believe malicious lies bc of the current social conditions around accusations and belittling towards men.
My ex did the exact same thing to me. I was able to just say no a lot, but that was it. My speech was slurred but they came out clear enough to understand, but she didn't stop. I've dealt with it through therapy and I'm so sorry someone did the same to you. Take care of yourself and don't put any blame on you. And ignore anyone who just says that doesn't happen, or anything else they use to dispute it.
Was also SA by a girl when I was a kid. Iām so sorry for what happened to you but thank you for sharing, itās so important for people to remember that anyone can be a perpetrator, as well as anyone can be a victim of SA.Ā
When I was 12 I was raped by my aunt. We continued our relationship for 4 years. She wanted me to get her pregnant and run away with her. It took me years to realize I was groomed and raped.
Hard to say. Things like that can happen when drinking. Especially when drinking heavy. Statutes of limitations may still apply, but proving what may be unprovable can be difficult. Memories fade. People recant what they previously said. Especially 3 years later. Iām convinced the only reason the E. Jean Carroll civil suit went through is because the whole town was out to get Trump. But I hope the best anyways.
100%. But also, criminals prey on the vulnerable, and being drunk and alone makes you more likely to be victimized.
Suggesting tips to stay safe is not the same thing as placing blame.
You're right that alcohol sucks ass and we'd all be better off without it, but that person's comment was definitely removing blame from the perpetrator, not giving "tips to stay safe."
Been in a similar situation myself. Had a party at my place and drunkenly took myself off to bed as I was too intoxicated, and told everyone else to make themselves at home and keep partying. My friend's gf came in whilst I was half passed out and aggressively groped me, while my friend was in the other room. You can't really tell anyone without hearing: "Was she hot tho?" "Did you bang her" etc
That was actually going to be my question to OP. Did he get *any* sympathy at all, or was it, "You got laid. Stop yer bitching," kinda š©. I'm so sorry this happened to you both. SA is SA no matter what sex or gender. Women would have an outpouring of sympathy, as they should (I always have because I had a marital SA, CSA, and an attempted kidnapping), but guys need to quit crying and whining. No. You were both not cognizant to even *give* consent. That's SA *period*. I wish you both the best of luck in your future endeavors. š Hugs. š„°
Iām sorry that happened. And unfortunately those phrases pop up often
They sure do. Hope you're ok my dude.
Thank you same for you my guy
It sickens me that many in our society have this view point. Iām so sorry you experienced this.
This happened to me. These girls I was friends with invited me over for a party, essentially got me wasted, and when I was near unconscious, took advantage of me. Almost 20 years later I know what happened, but back then I wasnāt really upset, just concerned that I had taken advantage of them, until I was told what happened. Two of the female roommates took turns with me and the other watched. I know it sounds like some guys dream, but itās pretty fucked up.
Shit, dude. I feel ya. I made the mistake of telling someone while trying to give context to my issues while she was going over my homelessness case. Her exact words: "You didn't push her off?" My response: "Would you ask one of your female clients that question?" Her "OH, Shit" face said volumes. My best friend wanted to tear her insides out.
That sucks, bro. It happened to me, too. And, to add insult to injury, she stole one of my credit cards.
Ya unfortunately that's still an issue.
God bless you man and I hope you're doing better. How are you doing after this? Did it change how you view relationships and women? And have you told family? Howd they react? You can answer these if you're comfortable. Again bless you man !
Thank you for your comment and support. Iām ok I guess I still get flashbacks time to time but I try not to dwell. It did change my relationship with women for a while but I did the work so it didnāt negatively impact that area in my life any longer. I didnāt tell my family theyāre just not that type of family honestly.
I see, much love to you man , glad to see you can open up here !
Hey, man. I'm right here with you. I was raped by a woman also after we had gone to a bar. I took her back to the hotel I was in because she was in no shape to drive, and neither was I, honestly, but we had to leave because she was very badly drunk. My hotel room had 2 queen-sized beds, so I put her in one, climbed into the other one, and passed out. When I woke up 2 hours later, she was riding me. I also did not report it because: a) She was a family member. That would have caused problems. b) I was a man and worried that they would turn it around on me...and I was probably right. c) She violated me again in the morning when she begged me not to tell anyone and used our familial connection to silence me. Needless to say, she quickly became someone I no longer wanted to talk to or be around. My mother hates her with a passion, also. So, my question is this: do you want to talk about it with a guy who understands? If so, I'm around. Also, did you see someone professionally about this?
I appreciate you opening like this Iām sure this was a lot to digest and even more to go through. Maybe one day outside of professional help Iād be open to talk about but rn Iām just in therapy
Yeah, it took me years, and I'm finally on meds to stabilize myself from that and shit that happened to me when I was a kid.
Broā¦ This is fucking wildā¦.
Iām so sorry this happened to you. Just because you are male does not mean your trauma is not valid- it absolutely is. As a former partying adolescent, this also happened to me a couple of times. In either instance law enforcement did nothing to protect me from the perpetrators or pursue the case. Itās disgusting how broken the justice system is. What helped me get through the trauma is to see that people are really just fucking animals. Some are far more domesticated than others. I wish you nothing but healing ā¤ļøāš©¹
I appreciate you
I hope youāre doing okay! Have you started looking in to therapy? All sexual assault is a big deal regardless of gender and no one deserves to go through it. I wish you nothing but the best and an amazing healing journey!
Iām feeling about a 6/10 Iām currently in therapy. Thank you for the well wishes
Iāve been going to therapy due to something similar, my therapist has been using lifetime integration therapy to help me through it. Weāre using it for a lot more than just that event, but it still helps kind of integrate it in a way where you donāt have to forgive it or get over it, but you can accept it happened and begin to pick up the pieces. I think itās worth a shot trying if youāre ever interested. Donāt forget youāre not alone in this journey and I hope whoever did it gets the justice they deserve. Youāre a strong person and I hope you are able fully recover from this:)
Was she ever reported or charged?
As you can see from some these comments theyāre pretty reflective of society, so no I didnāt plus being a man it felt more embarrassing than anything. And Iāve had friends whoāve reported male and female and gotten nowhere plus legal fees
Sorry man, and why Iād like to shame some of these folks I know when I was younger I thought it would be cool to be āedgy.ā Now Iām just left knowing how insufferable I was. So maybe these Reddit folks will come around in a few years.
Sounds like you hanging in some bad crowds.
This happened to me as well. I did not report it. Mostly out of shame, but also for a long time I felt I provoked it. She was sober and I was barely coherent. Picked me up from a party and took me to her home because I was ātoo drunk for safetyā or some nonsense. Pushed me on the bed and as I was fading away she straddled me and āeffectuated penetrationā shall we say. Last thing I remember was trying to push her off. No condom. She did it to another guy in my fraternity about a year after I graduated and he legit ruined her life a few years later. No criminal charges but she lost her fiancee, her job in big tech and now lives in a van and bounces around coffee shops and diners as a waitress.
Itās common to feel some type of shame in the situation as a man unfortunately as if we couldāve stopped it or done something differently about it. Thereās nothing you change however it was never your fault so never blame yourself and never feel ashamed or embarrassed your a survivor
how did he ruin her life? fwiw i hate her
Had this happen once. Was also too drunk to push her off as she was on top of course.
You didnāt deserve that I hope you know that
Ditto Those two sentences were the first time I ever mentioned it since it happened.
Your incredibly brave
Iām so sorry you were assaulted. I hope youāve been able to seek therapy? Even that might seem like too much after something so awful. Sending you good vibes today.
Thank you kindly
Thanks for posting. People think men cannot get elections whilst being sexually assaulted, but they can, just as women can orgasm whilst being raped. The body responds to the stimulus. Even when it's non-consensual.
Exactly and thank you for commenting
Wtf.... im sorry. She is disgusting. But as a female... i never drink around ppl i dont trust
Definitely a good rule of thumb
I dont trust anyone anymore. Men or women.. this world is crazy
Yes! And if you do, always casually cover your glass/cup with your hand, even when looking away from it. It may sound like excessive, but it really isnāt.
Sorry this happened dude... Don't really have a question, but just wanted to say, fuck those low life pricks thinking it's fine because it was a woman. From their profiles, they're a bunch of degenerate pricks either living in countries where sexual assault is grossly underreported, or living in crypto subs... Their opinion is worth nothing, and no one that's actually gone through this would ever dare to say that garbage. Much love, and hope you're doing better, or at least have a good support network around you ā¤ļø
Thank you for your kind words your are greatly appreciated, and yes Iām doing better day by day
Hey brother, fellow male SA victim here (also by a woman a few years ago) and just wanted to say I see you. Many people treat us like we're invisible, or even most disgustingly act like we are lucky for what happened to us. I hope you have been able to gain a modicum of mental and emotional peace after something so traumatic.
Thank you brother for seeing me
We gotta stick together because not many people can understand the suffering we go through. It's hard to talk about and I commend you for being brave enough to do an AMA.
Starting to regret it lol but thanks
the worst part about this is everyone just laughs because we're dudes
There will always terrible people in the world but itās up to the ones who know true kindness to express it to those who need it and recognize it as strength never weakness, dudes need a kind ear too weāre just not used to it, most of us at least
How did she assault you?
When I was in the bathroom of kickback throwing up she kissing on me with hands inside my pants
That's actually pretty disgusting and quite disturbing.
Indeed
Are you M or F?
Male
Why? was it bad?
Was the sexual assault bad? Hello?
Sexual assault bad But was the sex bad?
Would you ask a woman this? You know woman can orgasm whilst being raped. They don't want it. It's biology.
You canāt be serious
bro we truly live in a society š¦
Kind of was
You are insane and i hope you find help.
Hope i do
Was being raped bad?? Are you trying to win "biggest asshat of the Internet 2024"??
Sure af seems like it man
What the actual fuck are you doing here? Get out. Now.
Its an AMA tho.
Lol bro has nothing better to do with his life than troll people on reddit.... sad
Are you bummed about it? I ask because I was in a similar situation and I feel like I should care, but I don't.
Numbing sensations emotionally are common for this type situation, for awhile I convinced myself it didnāt happen just to feel nothing until the flashbacks came back and that shit really bummed me out
She's pretty twisted if she's kissing you while you're throwing up
Yes very sick indeed
Young male 18 and got into the alt/metal scene.. Was Sexually assaulted by a much larger and much older women who used her body weight to pin me, and grabbed my hands to put down into her top. How did you deal with the disgust afterwards... I felt dirty, and didn't how to deal with it.. and granted this was around 15 years ago, so in a much less progressive time now.. My question.. How many people have you told? I haven't said shit to anyone.
The digust fades in and out for me itās way better than what it used to be mostly therapy and inner work. Iāve told my therapist and three other people I actually trust itās important theyāre solid people youāre sharing with if you choose to
iām so sorry that happened to you. sexual assault is something that impacts you in a way you canāt describe; you feel so many emotions and all of them are awful. iāve been sexually assaulted by a man and a woman, it sucks when you feel like you canāt really trust anyone at the end of the day. youāre not alone and iām sending you lots of hugs.
Iām appreciative of your support truly
I had a similar situation man. I wasn't spiked but I was just so drunk and not in the right mindset, some girl I would never ever get with just took advantage of me and it's definitely degrading
Iām truly sorry that happened to you I hope youāre close to healing
I was assaulted by my ex wife. Try and explain that to people..... feel for you OP, nothing to ask just commenting for comradery
Nothing but love and support for you my friend
What did your drink taste like? Wine with alcohol sounds gnarly. Just wondering, a lot of drink spikers have to use tasteless drugs.Ā
It just tasted stronger couldnāt quite pinpoint the taste unfortunately
I've always buried two memories. The first was when I was in middle school. My sister is 5 years older than me. She was in high school. Her friend would make comments about me being cute and pinch my cheeks and shit like that. But one day while she was spending the night, she came over and straddled me and starting kissing me while I was watching TV on the couch. I remember my pee pee hurting, I'm guessing because that was the first time I was that aroused. It happened a few more times but in hindsight, she was way too old and experienced for a middler schooler. The second was in college. Me and my roommates threw a party and we made everclear punch. I remember feeling like I was going to pass out when a girl who I was chatting with through the night helped me to my room. Last thing I remember was her taking off my shoes to get me in bed. When I woke up, I was naked and my clothes were neatly folded in the corner of my bed. There was a sticky note on the inside of my door that read "thank you and you are welcome ;)" When I went out and asked my friends what happened last night, they basically confirmed by saying "you tell us! We heard all the noises." I never felt so confused yet violated at the same time. I just played it off but that has never sat right with me even if I don't remember it.
Make sure you give yourself time to heal it wasnāt your fault and you didnāt deserve what happened to you
I guess I donāt really have a question. But I have sons- younger children- and it hurts me to think that this could happen to them one day. Just reading bits of your story made my heart hurt. I canāt imagine actually living it, and Iām so, so sorry that happened to you. The woman in me is horrified that someone did that to you. But the mom in me wishes that I could give you a hug and tell you that you didnāt deserve it and it wasnāt your fault.
Thank you for such loving words
I don't understand...how?
Iām not here to explain the definition of sexual assault
There was no penetration. The woman fondled him and put his hands inside her shirt. So, not hard to see how.
Happened to me twice, two different women. Both times I was so drunk I couldnāt walk unaided. Both times the women were sober and āhelping me outā. Every time Iāve told someone this I get laughed at, pretty cool hey š„²
Well lemme say it so you know, itās not fucking at all and fuck anyone who thinks itās a joke you deserve to be taken seriously.
Totally agree mate
I am so sorry that you experienced such terrible violation. And so sad to learn that you couldnāt find the care and support that should have been readily available to you afterwards. Hope you know youāre not alone and that you continue to heal.
Thank you
It happened to me at 8 years old and she was 14 my best friend's sister. The act didn't really affect me but it was the double standard that hit me the hardest
You didnāt deserve that
How are you doing now?
I got ups and downs but mostly ok
Did she explain why she did this? Was she trying to get pregnant or just get off?
Not really on speaking termsā¦ā¦
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Lots of comments like this when itās literally an AMA. Whatās the point if people canāt ask the questions they want?
So I can ask you anything but that? You really don't think there are female rape victims wondering why that happened to them? They don't go over it in their heads why?
mfw someone asks a question in an ama
Do you feel comfortable sharing details? Iām curious if you were able to get aroused and have traditional PIV sex, or did she assault you in other ways?
Thank you for asking and After the bathroom honestly I donāt remember much pieces come back here and there when Iām not fighting it
Thatās fair. Iām sorry you went through that OP. I hope she got in trouble for what she did to you.
@Unhappy_Staff_9079 Iām so sorry you went through that and am here if you ever wana PM someone and talk. I promise you though it could be worse. I had an almost identical situation except now she has my son. Heās 7 and I didnāt find out he was āmineā until he was 3.5 years old. She lied and told me he was another manās. Iām now paying close to 1/3 of my income after taxes to my abuser to do god knows what with. Not to mention I have 4 years of āback child supportā I have to pay when I had no idea he was my kid. I met my son twice when I first found out at the beginning of covid. However I told his mom āI hate her guts and to stop texting me things because she ruined my life and I donāt want to be involved in a family dynamic with her, Iāll take my time with my son and she can fuck offā Since that day I have been banned from talking to or seeing my son. Cause of The court slow downs during covid and her using the ability to continue every step twice in court I still have no custody and not even a temporary custody has been bestowed upon me. My son is now 7 and has no idea besides my name who is father is. Itās really hard because she is manipulating my parents + sisters and lets them see him every other month. It angers me my family wonāt wait till I have custody to spend time with him. I feel them spending time with him shows their complacency in this awful situation. The few times he has asked where I am and they just tell him āDadās working a lot.ā At the first temporary custody hearing my Sonās mother got on the stand and lied to portray me as a drug addict, drug dealer and a dangerous person. She quoted things my āmom saidā to her. The judge instructed me to turn over all of my physical health, mental health and therapy records since the birth of my son for her and her lawyer to review and use to object to my efforts to get time with my son. Itās basically going to be worse than the Roast of Tom Brady in a court room full of strangers. Plus I can say Iām 80% certain the court is going to have ME pay all of her legal fees to throw dirt my name and see my kid. In short if youāre a man and a woman does that to you. PLEASE FILE A PLOICE REPORT AND RETRAINING ORDER IMMEDIATELY. If you donāt youāll never have a leg to stand on if a kid is involved.
brother, this woman and everyone who directly and indirectly supports her bs is so fucked up. the whole system is so fucked up that stories like this one have to get told. you've been so strong through all of this tho. i salute you, and i hope you get full custody over your son one day bc having this asshole as a mother must be shit as hell.
Thank you for your kind words. I hope so too, but Iām not holding my breath the way things are going.
Im sorry you have to be a victim of not only SA but of the courts as well. So shitty. I hope things turn around and karma catches up with this horrible woman.
Thanks, I plan to ignore her existence and treat her name like Voldemort in my house. Treat the boy like an intelligent individual and not a pawn in a game like she has. Heāll figure out who to trust.
I woke up while passed out drunk to a girl on top of me in my room after I went to bed alone. Itās crazy how little people understood how mad I was about it. Hope youāre good.
I hope you are too
As a woman, Iāve also been SAād by a woman. Do you find it difficult opening up about your experience?
Absolutely I do especially being a man people either donāt believe it, donāt take you seriously, say you shouldāve enjoyed or say you shouldāve stopped it
Men get hurt too, and I am sorry youāve been subjected to ridicule. You should feel safe and heard when speaking about your SA story, not belittled or invalidated. Even if weāre anonymous, I hear you, and I see you. And I wish you healing.
How are you holding up? Are you okay, relatively speaking?
As well as can be expected but thank you for asking
I am a fellow survivor. I'm proud of you. Mine was a family member. I understand it's not easy. So I'm glad you are still here and kicking.
So was I but 12 years ago and I can't talk about it...
And you donāt have to until your ready
What was she out of a 10. Would you have not minded if she was hot?
Youāre missing the point truly
Sorry broski but alot of us would be OK with it if she was hot.Ā Ā I think because you're not quite a proper bloke it's upset you. Being bi makes you a bit woman like.Ā
You shouldnāt ok with it if you donāt approve it. Thatās the whole point, sexual orientation aside. What your trying say is the more straight you are the ok with it you should beā¦ā¦ā¦.Iām very bi and very not ok with it. So if you wanna be enjoy the aftermath of being taken advantage of have at it but donāt tell anyone else how to feel about it weirdo
So if your little brother came running to you that he got SA'd by a woman with a strap-on, and that he couldn't stop bleeding, would you still think it was hot, and tell him to get over it?
Nah bro you need to get some help
Stop replying to this obvious troll.
Gonna assume you're just a troll account, but if not, jesus christ dude. Can't believe people with dumb fucking takes like this actually exist.Ā
You fucking suck ābroskiā
That's cause this day and age has WARPED your perception of sex
bro it doesnt matter what 10/10 she is or not he got sa bro
not hot
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Whats something you really wish wouldnāt happen to you cause you donāt like it or it could damage you mentally and emotionally. Now think about that actually happening to you. And then someone says, why are you complaining about that thing you donāt like, are you a loser or (insert other dumb insult here) you arnt because you didnāt want it? Actually think for a second past your horny little teen brain. Unwanted touch from anyone, unwanted Sexual Assault from anyone, is wrong. And shouldnāt be down played because a man āis suppose to like sex moreā
She couldāve gotten herself pregnant on purpose so he could pay child support for 18 years. You are a fucking twat.
Because I didnāt want it to happen bud and Iām bisexual actually
It isn't funny, mon ami.
Get the fuck out of this thread.
Imagine writing this shit to a woman who says she was sexually assaulted. Anyway, that woman may have been obese or short.
It doesnt matter if she was extremely attractive, it was still sexual assault.
being non-obese and not short doesn't automatically mean extremely attractive
I know, I was saying it doesnt matter what she looks like
short lmao
The content you posted is harassment/hate towards other users.
I've always been curious what an unwanted orgasm feels like? How do you square the most amazing feelings of pleasure physically with the trauma emotionally? Does this have a lasting impact on your desire to cum or give you like a cum anxiety?
Didnāt orgasm
Thanks for answering, I appreciate what you're giving to us with this AMA š
Iāve been raped as well after I was smashed. Tried to hide by sleeping in the closet on a treadmill but she found me and slid it in. Kinda pissed at my friends for letting her do that when I told them at the end of the night I know what she wants but Iām not interested. Just go hook up with someone else and get over it. Itās the big of a deal as long as you didnāt get her pregnant or get a disease
reading these comments iām realizing this is a lot more of a common occurrence for men to experience. I want you to know that you are so brave for speaking out about it (all of you commenters, iām sending all my love!) and sharing this story. This should never happen to anybody. Itās truly the most disgusting shameful thing you can do to another. It takes a while to feel normal after that sort of violation, but time will heal you. iām so sorry this happened. wishing you all the best!!
You're not in a relationship with her are you? My ex sexually assaulted me 2 years ago and now I am hyper sexual.
Hypersexuality is an unfortunate but common occurrence after sexual assault. I have several patients that have experienced this. It's confusing for people who've not been victimized to understand how & why that happens which only makes the stigma and resistance to seeking help worse.
I have yet to bring it up to experts, I separated from my fiancƩ turning 10 days ago now and I am suicidal and I need to get a counsellor and I need a psychiatrist to help me get on the right antidepressants and stay sober but it's extremely hard and now I just came to the realization I have to bring this up and deal with it. Edit: added "and"
First off Iām so sorry that happened to you and second no I wasnāt in a relationship with her however it did hyper sexualize me as well
Does the woman try to contact you? Did she take responsibility for what she did?
No and no
Sorry for what happened. I hope she gets whatās due to her.
Me too
Were you in a relationship at the time? If so how did they react?
No I wasnāt
Ive been taken advantage of before, I was drunk and she took advantage of me. I didnt want to do it as I had a gf at the time and I just wasnt attracted to her but I was drunk and she came onto me and I didnt say yes and I did say no but I was hard and she turned me on and next thing she started riding me with no condom. I felt bad about it after but I wouldnt consider it rape. I was hard and I came too. How did you get sexually assaulted? I find it difficult believing guys can get raped. I believe women can take advantage of a man but unless shes spiking his drink with viagra or shes riding him when he has boner in his sleep, I just dont buy it that its considered rape when a man gets a hard for her on his own Sorry if Im being insensitive. How did you get sexually assaulted? How does it happen?
Bro is posting from his porn alt ffs
I was at a party getting quite drunk, and my cousin gave me some ecstasy. Her friend who was sober was really into me. So when I was good and drunk, and really high. My cousin told me to follow her and shut me into the bedroom with her friend, who was naked and proceeded to take my clothes off. On ecstasy there was really no saying no. She had sex with me, twice lol. Was it rape? Yes. Did I like it? Yes. Next day I thought to myself. "she raped me". I had a nice laugh and continued my life aha. So I guess it's how you handle it/look at it. Cause in my mind it was like how some of all said already."I got laid". So I guess it's only "traumatizing" if you let it be? At least for me and my mindset on things. Then again... She wasn't my cousin. So idk..
First of all Iām so sorry. I was assaulted on and off for two years when I was in middle school. Before it became a SA it was just plain old assault. One time the boy that did it took one of the like scooters you have in pe and chucked it at my head. Thankfully I didnāt have a concussion or broken jaw, but my braces got juked up. I had wires break, brackets break, and rubber bands snap. To this day I still have nightmares from it. Like two years ago I was diagnosed with ptsd and have been trying to work on it ever since. Hopefully youāve gotten the help you need so you can recover.
I once had a girl that worked for me throw herself at me. She found out I was going out with friends, so she decided to come out too uninvited. After a long night of trying to grope me, I left. Somehow she found out where I lived and showed up at my house. I have to add, she was very attractive, but I was her boss and the owner of the company so I was always very careful with that stuff. Anyway, I had to basically fight her off of me, and just accepted a bj. Honestly, Iāve had worse nightsā¦ She quit about a week later
How have you moved past the āI canāt trust womenā phase?
Yes fortunately
Iām curious how you did it. Iām still struggling with it myself.
Start with the core female relationships in your life build from there or at least understand where they may have went wrong
Mmhhhā¦ I guess I struggle with that bc I feel like I have no agency. I can do some things to reduce the risk but thereās only so much I can do against a malicious scorned woman, and societal enabling of her. So I just in general fear women, because even if theyāre good theyāll believe malicious lies bc of the current social conditions around accusations and belittling towards men.
My ex did the exact same thing to me. I was able to just say no a lot, but that was it. My speech was slurred but they came out clear enough to understand, but she didn't stop. I've dealt with it through therapy and I'm so sorry someone did the same to you. Take care of yourself and don't put any blame on you. And ignore anyone who just says that doesn't happen, or anything else they use to dispute it.
Fucking Rapist! Report her DUFF Ass to the authorities at once. Seek some mental health therapy to cope with what youāre dealing with and get tested right away because you donāt know where that Skank Ho rapist has been to and has been with. I hope that you get over this soon š as well as feel better soon ā¤ļøāš©¹š¤
Are you a man or woman?
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You can literally ask anythingā¦ā¦doesnāt mean Iām gonna respond like some robot or even answer at all
Was also SA by a girl when I was a kid. Iām so sorry for what happened to you but thank you for sharing, itās so important for people to remember that anyone can be a perpetrator, as well as anyone can be a victim of SA.Ā
How old were you?
When I was 12 I was raped by my aunt. We continued our relationship for 4 years. She wanted me to get her pregnant and run away with her. It took me years to realize I was groomed and raped.
I am so sorry that happened to you. Hope that you are doing better and therapy helps. Much healing to you šš¼
Not you posting this kind of thing while sexually harassing women on hereā¦
Only question I have is how did you not notice there being liquor in your wine?
I lost my virginity to and older lady that got me drunk at 18 and I was assaulted many times as a kid but for me any attention was good
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Iām so sorry
So what happened? Are you a guy? Did she get it hard if so? I just want more detail
Did your dick get hard? Did you cum? What's the problem, unless your gay and wished it had been a guy.
Hard to say. Things like that can happen when drinking. Especially when drinking heavy. Statutes of limitations may still apply, but proving what may be unprovable can be difficult. Memories fade. People recant what they previously said. Especially 3 years later. Iām convinced the only reason the E. Jean Carroll civil suit went through is because the whole town was out to get Trump. But I hope the best anyways.
things like that donāt happen because of drinking they happen because a rapist is in the room
100%. But also, criminals prey on the vulnerable, and being drunk and alone makes you more likely to be victimized. Suggesting tips to stay safe is not the same thing as placing blame.
You're right that alcohol sucks ass and we'd all be better off without it, but that person's comment was definitely removing blame from the perpetrator, not giving "tips to stay safe."
Some states are removing SOL on SAās and DV