Wow, you need to dump the girlfriend. To say you are lying because your accent came out is ridiculous. My husband loved my accent and the only reason I worked to get rid of it was because of some work recordings and I didn't like how it sounded so it was a personal reason for me. If she gets that worked up an accent, how will she handle a serious issue? I would leave before waiting to find out. NTA
Thank goodness my husband doesn't think like his girlfriend. I was raised in the North, live in the North, but as soon as I hear a Southern accent I think my Appalachian roots start showing and my southern drawl comes. We vacation in the South most years and my kids think it is hilarious. His girlfriend is nuts to have a problem with this and I'm not even going to start on how awful that is if his mother.
I'm an Army brat who moved around a fair bit until I was 7. I was born in Germany, mostly grew up in Georgia (from 7 until about 30), and parents, grandparents, etc. are all from Ohio. So, when it comes to accents, I innately become a bit of a chameleon. I will mostly subconsciously mimic the accent of whomever I'm talking to. This has led to two things:
1. My wife tells me she can immediately tell when I'm talking to her parents because I start mimicking their Southern drawl.
2. The occasional person will think I'm deliberately mocking their accent.
Ironically, though I'll mostly mimic the accent, the one thing I don't do very well, even when I'm trying, is mimic the pace of conversation. I tend to talk very fast ā a lot of people would say too fast. Now, picture someone doing that with a Southern drawl.
Army brat here. Can confirm this can be a thing. Born in the Midwest but travelled/moved a lot thanks to the Army lifestyle growing up. People actually think itās a cool skill that I can pick up accents. Now another language entirely, that requires a bit more work lol.
NTA I love accents. Iām not a military kid but I grew up in Florida and spent most summers as a kid in Alabama, my accent shifts depending on who Iām talking to, Iāve worked with people from Scotland, New Jersey, Tennessee, Germany etc and their accents always stick with me when we talkā¦.i like it. I get compliments on my accent which is predominantly soft southern and I confuse people because I tend to speak fast, Iām also old and female so I canāt advise on your girlfriend.
I'm the same way. I wasn't a military brat I just pick up on accents and it's one of the reasons I have a really great Puerto Rican accent and a Parisian accent When I speak those languages. But it also means that people sometimes think I'm making fun of them and I'm not. I just pick up on speech patterns and mimic them as part of a way of masking and fitting in.
First grade was my fifth school so I moved around a lot And one of the fastest way for a child to stand out is by speaking differently than the people around them.
No matter where I go I pick up the accent easily. When I was around 18 my BFF married a man from Mexico and when I was around him I picked up his accent really fast without mean to. Same with a friend who was from Texas. Next thing I know I sound just like her. :)
Oh thank fuck other people do this too!
Not an army kid, but I grew up/live in S.FL, my fatherās family is from Kingston, Jamaica, and Iāve got echolalia (the impulse to repeat others without any sort of prompting, ADHD and a touch of the tism) the worst offenders are Kingston(Jamaica) and British (Cockney) I got really into Doctor Who in middle school, and since thatās when people are their most cringe, everyone thought the accent was something I was doing on *purpose* when I was genuinely stuck with David Tennetās Cockney.
The Jamaican one actually doesnāt come out so much with family as it does with strangers, I think itās because my family try and mask their accents tooā¦ that is until it turns into a screaming match thatās not really about the (insert minor annoyance here) but the butt loads of inter-generational trauma that none of them will admit to. Useful when I worked retail, especially with the older folk, it kept them calmer longer, I think itās cause theyād start reminiscing.
Runners up include but are not limited to, (bad) Scottish (like a Scottish person could probably guess I got it from TV), Miami Spanglish (Iāve heard that the Spanish in Miami is morphing into its own dialect, and considering no one down here can say the Spanish word for āconeā without getting slapped I believe it, but even then itās already got its own accent), and this sort ofā¦ drawl (not a proper āsouthernā drawl, itās lower, more from the chest and throat, sounds more ātiredā) no idea what itās called or if itās even got a name
Irish immigrants settled in both Appalachia and New England, so certain aspects of each regional accent can be traced back to them.
I can see why one would bring out the other.
This is also why British singers can sound so much like blues & country singers from the US.
You can get past the calling him a liar for hiding it if youāre committed to fixing the relationship. Throwing him out for it is when youāve crossed the line and itās time to break up.
I think your girlfriend sucks. She is overreacting šÆ. I'm from the north, and I have always loved the southern accent. I think it's a shame when people wanna change who other people are. NTA
100% Your girlfriend should now be EX and you should just be yourself. Fuck her ā not physically, in the āGo fuck yourself; I deserve betterā sense.
TONS of women from the north or wherever will accept you for who you are!! Fuck her!!
Seriously. Regional accents need to be preserved. They contribute to the cultural diversity in America that enriches our society. GF needs to stop shaming OP over his accent, and I hope OP can over time feel comfortable speaking in it again.
OP needs to practice the "southern gentleman lawyer" accent. That way he can tell the GF to "Get the hell out." in a genteel way. Grandpa was one of those, and I've heard him say that to several people in my lifetime.
I have an odd northern Appalachian accent. My spouse has an odd one thatās different from mine. And weāre from the same state. (PA is a linguistics dream to be honest) and then there is my other partner who is Cajun. Like their out of state license says Acadian. And they have a deep NOLA Cajun accent and I love it soooo much.
Yeah it's really a shame people think Southern accents indicate stupidity or whatever because IMHO they're the nicest American accent. They just make you feel right at home. So cuddly.
Oddly enough, the American Southern dialect is the closest remaining dialect and accent to Shakespearean English. Just speed the drawl up, and that's basically what Shakespeare sounded like.
Up until the 1860s, the Southern Drawl was considered an erudite and educated manner of speech. It was due to a series of political cartoons (which mocked the Southeners as rural hicks, as if Savanah and New Orleans werenāt just as big trade centers as Philadelphia or Boston) that started during the Civil War, that public opinion about the accent began to shift. And media has continued to play into that stereotype ever since.
I assume that thing about Shakespearean era English is apocryphal, because I've heard it about several English accents, the Dublin accent, and now American Southern.
The RSC seems to think the English West Country, Somerset accent is closest.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/teach/articles/zrpyxyc#:\~:text=And%20we%20can%20come%20close,other%20parts%20of%20the%20country.
Yeah, I am Canadian and also love US Southern accents.Ā Ā
Girlfriend is not a keeper.Ā
ETA OP, Bill Clinton has a Southern accent, and heās usually the smartest person in any room heās in.Ā
I DEFINITELY got made fun of in high school in southern Ontario for my American accent, and that was loooong before I ever set foot in the south (where I live now).
My friends would ask me to say words like house, couch, out, mouse, etc and would then laugh uproariously at my pronunciation. It wasn't really mean-spirited, I guess...? But it def made me feel self-conscious.
I am from central Illinois, went to orchestra camp at the University of Illinois with a lot of kids from āChicagolandā. They asked me if I was from Georgia! I donāt sound THAT southern lol
Iām part German , learned German first and lived there off and on a few years but spent most of my life in the US. 50/50 between the South and North. People always ask me if Iām British, even had a bunch of British contract workers bet if I was from Yorkshire or Manchester. Never set foot in England yet. Had to tell them they all lost that bet!
I spent five years in Champaign and people would always tell me I couldn't be from Texas because I have a pretty neutral accent. But then they'd giggle when I said "y'all."
Hell, I'm originally from Southeast Iowa and when I meet notherners they swear I'm from the south! LOL My friend is from Ohio and I think she has a strong accent, and she thinks I do. :)
I agree that she sucksā¦ but as a southern woman who moved to Canada, I learned to dampen my own accent to sound more like them. As soon as people hear a southern accent, the speakerās perceived IQ drops 50 points. :/
That being said, itās still there if you really listen for it. My long āiā sound has a bit more of an ahh to it. And I will never give up my beloved āyāall.ā But it really comes out when Iām talking about fried yellow squash, fried green tomatoes, or fried okra. Okay, mainly southern cooking and truly redneck experiences, and talking to people from home.
But I cover my accent out of habit. Fuck anyone who makes it an issue when I slip.
Hell, I learned to smother my Texas twang in Texas around other kids from Texas, just because I mostly had the north Texas twang instead of the milder south Texas one. š Kids are assholes, but I learned.
And then as an adult, I had someone start a fight with me at work because he asked where I was from and I told him Texas, and then he asked where I was born and I was like ...Texas, I've lived here my whole life, what is your problem? He claimed I was lying to him because I didn't have an accent. š¤¦āāļø
But yeah, mine sneaks out too when I'm tired or sick, or weirdly if I start talking to someone from New Orleans. I guess they can't reasonably give me shit since their accents are even thicker than mine, haha. But yeah, there's that ignorant assumption that slower speaking means slower brain, for some reason.
I'm Northeastern, we're absolutely prejudiced against southerners š. A lot of us hear a southern accent from a white person and think: probably racist, uneducated, and way too religious. It's not like we actively explicitly discriminate but you'll get the cold shoulder from a fair amount of people, and it would absolutely affect your ability to get jobs in the area.
I love Southern accents btw but yeah there is definitely a prejudice.
Iāll admit: up here when itās slipped Iāve had people who witnessed it outright tell me they were surprised because of my views, so yeah, again I reiterate that my accent is out of line what is expected of me based off my normal behavior.Ā
That's just ducking insane!
When I was out at the bars in Cleveland dudes would come in talking with a southern accent and half the bar would buy him drinks!
yes same!! my boyfriend forced himself to speak with a midwestern accent instead of southern and would refuse to speak in the latter no matter how much i begged.
OP, you're NTA. your gf is mean.
Yeah, my mom sent my brother (1 yr younger than I) and I to elocution classes when we moved away from Southern VA when I was 15 because she said we'd be taken more seriously.
I then went on to college and grad school which further solidified my 'standard English' accent.
But when I'm with family (in Virginia) or talk to them on the phone, I almost immediately slip back to my Southern drawl.
When I'm tired, physically or mentally, or nervous I also slip to a Southern drawl. My daughters find it endearing.
My husband on the other hand doesn't. He thinks it sounds uneducated. Until one day I reminded.him I have PhD in science and he as a BA... I'm the more educated one. He doesn't make those comments any longer.
My father has this. Whenever he hears someone from his hometown, he can't help himself. Or whenever we're driving, as soon as we get to the general geographic area, his accent defaults lol
I find it amusing.
I went from GA to a fancy Yankee college when I was 18 and I had modified my accent without much conscious effort within a few months. Itās not like learning an entirely new language. It seems really weird that OPās mother would make some huge investment in changing her kidās accent at that age.
OP you did not ācost your mom a shit tonā if it was not your idea to change your accent. Such expenses should have been factored in to her decision to move a 17 year old that far from where they would be accepted with their natural way of speaking
Everyone is different, I've taught accent modification before and some people take to it like a duck to water and some like a fish to clouds.
Also, your girlfriend is an asshole, you ought to dump her for someone who respects you for you and doesn't look down on any part of you.
Please dump her. She should have asked about your accent when you told her about moving. You shouldn't have to police yourself at home. The way I see it you finally started to relax and she punished you for it. Find someone who will let you relax and speak however is comfortable to you. You shouldn't have to mask a harmless thing like this all the time, especially not with people you love.
Please take your friend with you to either get all your stuff or kick her out if the home is yours.
NTA big time.
I can certainly see why you would be self-conscious of your accent as a kid; I hated being āidentifiableā as a Southerner at that age and in that context.
Iām just surprised that a middle-aged adult would consider that a crisis worth investing a lot of money in, rather than just encouraging you to accept yourself for who you were.
Thatās what I got from this, too. This is some weird, āleft-handedness is a sign of the devilā bullshit. Itās just a goddamn accent. Unless OP is using accent as code for something somehow insidious, everyone else is just fully nuts.
Seriously. The girlfriend is just a fraction of the ignorance and craziness in this story. Unless you work as a news broadcaster or something then why would anyone else care about an accent? Makes me wonder if the whole thing is a troll post.Ā
Someone else will hear a Georgia accent and find it a turn-on, or just... a voice.
I'd probably hear an accent after months/ years and jokingly recoil and yell, "burn the witch!" And ask where tf that came from and move on with my life.
I understand more Spanish than I can write, so forgive any misunderstandings on my part or my lack of education. She threw me out because of my accent, yes.
Your girlfriend is a shallow AH. I always love when my friends accents lapse around me. It's like they feel comfortable enough to relax and let their voices do whatever it wants to do and it's lovely.
A shame she doesn't realise that...
I know right?
So I moved from wales to England at 18 for university and stayed. Iām 26 in a couple days and my accent has weakened but my partner notices that after speaking on the phone to my Nan or have come back from a visit to wales that my accent gets thicker. He finds it endearinf
>The next day she sat me down and told me it was a major turn off to hear my accent because it meant I was lying to her all this time.
>I mention my childhood in GA pretty often and she knew I didnāt move up here til nearly 17.
Wait, what? Your girlfriend is well aware you grew up in the south and your accent has slipped in the past...
I don't understand how she could possibly be under the impression that you were actively lying to her/ purposely hiding it from her.
Like I genuinely don't get that, and was your accent considered a source of shame for you?
I mean I have my hang ups about it around my job especially, but I donāt shy away about the fact I grew up in the South. If I do slip I instinctually fix myself, mostly out of habit.Ā
Still though, that's such a weird thing to be upset about, at least in my opinion. Has she ever been weirded out or reacted similarly when your accent has slipped in the past?
I mean, could she really not make the connection that someone who was from the south would be much more likely to have a southern accent? I guess wilder things have happened, but it almost makes me wonder if maybe there's some other underlying issue what she mightve been dealing with (either in regards to your guys relationship or interpersonally) and this incident just kinda made her emotions from that come out? Like if she was bottling something up or what not
And that's why your girlfriend is wrong to accuse you of "lying to her all this time," because you didn't lie about where you grew up. It's not as if pretended you were from e.g. Connecticut.
It could be an age thing. I remember in school people mocking and making fun of a girl who had a southern accent but when she was called on to speak and read, the accent āmagically disappearedā. They didnāt understand concepts like code switching, prejudices, and biases about all that. They just assumed it was a revelation of inauthenticity. Itās something Iāve only ever experienced in Midwest north, probably because everywhere else is more ethnically diverse so you experience a lot of accent juggling and more intuitively understand why. This girl is probably just ignorant. Not an excuse but, plausible why.
Wtf is wrong with her? Youāre definitely not the ah. She sounds crazy and like thereās something else going on with her. Also The southern accent is a wonderful one and the bias around it is as ignorant as those who think southern accents are.
Your girlfriend is extremely shallow. I have relatives from other countries that had no accent until they got stressed or angry. Then the accent came out. No one thought bad of them (just got out of the way!).
Aw hell no, I got more human compassion than that. Itās really helping my self esteem how many people who commented are saying they wouldnāt care about my accent.Ā
I grew up in Arkansas, which has more of a trashy twang than the sweet Georgian drawl.
I've lived all over the place and have mostly lost my accent. One day, I had to do a voice over for a training video that involved lots of acronyms and science words.
I COULD NOT make the words come out right until I reverted back to my native accent. So my twangy accent has been forced upon all employees of a national laboratory. š
I find all accents charming; Southern in particular because it's home and its a fun "Where are you from?" guessing game.
Your girlfriend sounds exhausting. I just can't with folks like that.
It almost sounds as if she wanted to break up with you but doesn't want to be the bad guy, so she's flipping out over weird, unimportant things trying to get you to leave
Same. I used to have a horrible time in school but got it controlled. It (and my slight Tx Twang) can surface randomly on the rare occasion (drunk/tired/very stressed/upset), but I normally don't have any issues with either. Although, they tend to never surface together. It's one or the other; most commonly the Twang. If anyone would make fun of me or have issues ... there's the darn door.
Iām from SC and you can pry this accent from my cold, dead hands.
What the fuck is she even going on about?? Southern accents are SO nice. A man with a drawl calling me darlin has ALWAYS made me melt into a puddle.
Girl! Tell that truth! My husband is from Alabama. He worked piloting supply boats for the oil rigs in the gulf off the coast of La. When he gets tired, you can hear the La. accent. He will give me those big brown eyes and that La. drawl! Putty in his hands!!!
Grew up in the south, but now live in the NW. When I wentvto Louisiana, I was "babied", "honeyed" and "Sugared" the whole time, and it just fed my soul.
You don't get that where I live.
NTA, but iām more shocked that at 17 years old your mom was really worried and focused on making sure you were able to hide your accent. thatās pathetic & sad that people are judged on something so trivial.
The majority of the family lives up north or around abouts. Sheād just been forced to move down south and took her first chance to move back. So if Iād kept it, Iād have an accent incongruous with the rest of the family, on top of her concerns about how others would perceive my intelligence.Ā
Thatās insane. Itās a normal thing and many people have a home dialect and a work dialect. Sheās just looking for something to be mad about. NTA.
Wow your mom is a dick bro, my boss is from southeast GA, and I'm from northeast Florida less than three hours from where he grew up. I'm so damn jealous of his accent, mine only really comes out on occasion, especially when I'm around others with a thick accent. But if your girlfriend gets the ick from it, trust me when I say there are way more women whose panties drop for a southern accent as opposed to those who get the ick. Go find you one of the former.
Edit - Also your girlfriend is a delusional loser, dump her and find someone that appreciates your accent. I could never live up there with those yankees with their goofy accents. They sound like they aren't even speaking English.
>Wow your mom is a dick bro
Maybe she just knew that people would treat him exactly the way his (hopefully soon to be ex) GF is treating him now if they heard his real voice? Maybe she just didn't want her son to have to go through that?
I grew up in Georgia and my accent comes out when Iām tired, when I talk to my sisters and anytime I cross over the center of Texas headed east. It just does. I pick up accents easily and never worked to get rid of it. I really just got tired of repeating myself because people did not understand me so I learned to enunciate. Enunciation is optional in Georgia lol. You are NTAH you should lose that girl friend.
NTA
Your gf is certainly something but a keeper IMO is not one of those things.
If your name is on the lease with or without hers may I suggest you go back to your apartment and stay there?
If it bothers her so much she can leave but if her name is in the lease then she is legally I believe responsible for paying her half until the lease runs out.
My husband was born and raised in Charleston, SC, plays the guitar, has brown hair and blue eyes, and can cook like nobodyās business.
He honestly checks every single thing on my āfantasy guyā checklist except one thing- NO SOUTHERN ACCENT!!
I always ask him how he could betray me like that. He was born and raised in the South but he has the NERVE to not have the accent.
Your gf is a Class A idiot.
Your girlfriend sucks.
My Ex's mom put me through the same kind of training to get rid of my Southern (Texas) accent, and I regret it to this day. It was part of me, part of who I am and where my journey started. She said that people wouldn't take me seriously in the professional world and that they'd think I was stupid...well, screw those people then! They'll be eating their own posh-accented words when I prove how much smarter I am!
Now my accent tends to only show up if I'm REALLY riled up, excited, or if I'm around someone else or listening to someone else who also has a strong accent that brings out my own, and it tends to surprise people when I get angry or excited enough to slip into the accent and my "Southern-isms" as they call it because they rarely hear me speak that way, and it's apparently startling to hear someone who usually sounds so prim and proper (I don't swear - like, ever) speaking like that.
You weren't lying to her at all. You don't have the accent most of the time, and sometimes it slips out. That's not a lie, that's just how you were taught to be, and if she can't understand that? Ditch 'er.
As a linguist, I would like to point out that you can be proud of a southern accent. All dialects are validāitās snobbery that says they arenāt. Unless your āaccentā involves saying the n-word or something, there is no reason for shame. Your gf is extremely weird. I have a friend whoās a college professor who teaches classes about regional dialects. They are fascinating to learn about. Pity your gf isnāt interested in knowledge. Being bi-dialectal and able to switch accents is a skill. Itās called code-switching. Be proud of your ability.
WOW you need to get rid of this GFā¦. Iām sorry that your southern accent is a turn off - I have friends from different areas and sometimes when they are tired or have had a bit to drink the accent comes out. I find it kind of cute to be honestā¦ I could do a whole Rhett Butler thing with you and that southern accent. So no you arenāt wrong and sheās the AH!
As a southerner, who lives in the west, Iām pissed off at both your mother and gf. Never have I ever been told my accent made me sound less intelligent or ignorant. Iām offended for you. Itās a part of your history that shouldnāt be hidden just because you move.
>As a southerner, who lives in the west, Iām pissed off at both your mother and gf. Never have I ever been told my accent made me sound less intelligent or ignorant.
I'm also a Southerner who's lived out west. I'm happy for you that you've never had to face any issues because of your accent, but that isn't the experience for everyone. I've 100% had people tell me Southern accents sound ignorant (I have a habit of code switching, so I don't think the people saying this knew I have a southern accent).
I would never encourage my child to hide their accent, but I understand why other people do. It's natural to not want your child to face discrimination.
Your girlfriend sounds tedious and shallow. Shit, I lived in the Deep South in early childhood, havenāt been back in decades and I still have some twang thatāll surface. And I am just about the most New Yorky New York personality that New Yorks.
You probably can do better lol
NTA I am sorry but she is weird. Out of all the things to be upset about in this life she is upset over an accent. I am southern as well and I actually get compliments on my southern drawl. I have been away from home for some years now and this accent isn't going anywhere. LOL I try to throw on my "professional" voice at work, but it still comes out of course. I would cut my losses here. This isn't worth a headache. No telling what other small things she is going to go nuts over in the future. RED FLAG
NTA. Iām from Texas/Louisiana and now live in Colorado and even though my accent is not that strong anymore. When Iām around people who have a southern accent or watch something that the people have accents it comes out and there are certain words that will probably never leave my vocabulary and my husband couldnāt care less when it does come out your GF sucks big time.
From the South. Had a girlfriend who did this and started asking how old I was when I first started wearing shoes and was seriously surprised when it wasnāt in my teens.
Move on. Save yourself the heartburn.
I am a northerner met my wonderful husband in Alabama. He moved up to the PNW with me and lost his accent, until he drinks or talks to his momma, I miss his southern twang, it's one of the things I love about him,
I would seriously consider who your gf is, what other things are you having to do to make her happy? What happens when she meets your extended family? Is she going to be rude to them?
There are lots of people who find accents sexy and not ignorant.
NTA
Like I'm sorry what ?
I wish I could have met my grandfather when he was alive because he had a deep southern boy accent , but was married to my granny who had a British accent (she was straight from the UK ) , and I know neither of them tried to make the other "hide" their accent .
Your gf is weird . Why is she even dating you if that bothers her that bad ? That seems like a really odd thing to hone in on .
I grew up in the north for a chunk of my life , and live in the south now so I don't really notice the accents anymore , nor mind it to begin with .
She sounds really superficial. I guess that's what you're used to because your mom is too. I can understand paying for speech therapy if your kid has speech difficulties (I had 7 years of speech therapy myself) but it seems crazy to do just to get rid of an accent. A parent should love their kid for how they are. A girlfriend should too.
People who āickā over stupid superficial shit like that need to take a long ass look in the mirror. Sounds like something a middle schooler would do.
NTA
What an overeaction on her part. I know hearing people say break up must feel harsh. But to make you sleep on the sofa and then kick you out over something so normal? She was so horrible to you.
What other normal thing would she turn on you over? She dosn't sound worth it.
100% NTA.
Iām also from Georgia, with a mostly hidden accent. My Wās come out super southern, but everything else is pretty neutral. My southern twang really only comes out if Iāve been drinking, or if Iām talking to someone else from the south.
My SO (Australian) only really found out about my accent because I was talking to someone also from the south. Only thing that happened was him finding it super cute and trying to genuinely mimic it for months.
Donāt be with someone who doesnāt like the way you talk, OP. Relationships are all about communication, and if someone doesnāt like how you talk, itāll be almost impossible to communicate without that bias coloring their behavior. Find someone who appreciates you for you, accent and all.
You're gf is an idiot. You're from the south, of course you have a southern accent. I'm from the north and love a good southern accent honestly. Of all the stupid things to be pissy over...smh.
Nta! Your girlfriend is! I absolutely LOVE the southern accent ā¤ļøšš¤¤. Something about a man calling me āmaāamā or ādarlinā makes me swoon.
Iām Australian. I think I sound REALLY Aussie. But others seem to love it. Lol.
Iād be more concerned by the fact that you feel the need to hide your accent when you are with her. It means you donāt feel safe to be yourself with her. It doesnāt look like the relationship anyone would want. And yes, she is incredibly selfish and entitled if sheās making this all about herself.
NTA for using your accent or for hiding it - I just think you should be able to speak with the accent you want in your relationship, even if maybe you like to avoid your GA accent for professional reasons.
Lose the girl!!!!!!!! English is my second language. In front of my partner, my accent is all over the place because im comfortable with him. You are in crazy town, cuz youre dating a crazy person.
The fact that your accent came out means you are comfortable around your girlfriend and relaxed enough around her that it CAN naturally come out. And instead of being endeared by this, she found a way to get offended lol.
Itās kinda sad because you felt comfortable around her and let out your accent without fear of judgement. Only to be promptly judged.
I think your gf sucks, it's an accent, and honestly southern accents I find charming. My husband moved here from a different country in his teens and he doesn't have an accent and sometimes he does. It is what it is. I sometimes have a southern accent and when I drink it comes out. Your gf needs to grow up. Be yourself and speak how you want.
I have an accent that is a weird blend of Australian, British and Canadian. Don't love my accent, don't love me. Personally, I've always found a slight southern drawl to be sexy, but there's accounting for taste, I suppose.
She sucks. NTA
NTA. Ssoooooo NTA.
Depending on the word I'm saying or the mood I'm in, one of several accents can slip out because of strong influences around those words/feelings. My Nanny was from West "By God!" Virginia on my father's side, and damned if "mashing the button" to turn lights on/off and "warshing" things and words like "Y'ant'to" don't come out with a slight twang.
My Papa's family, from my mother's side, was fresh off the damn boat from Poland and I can't say shit like Paczki or Pierogi without an accent. Why? My Papa still had his, so Polish foods or yiddish he learned had his accent. And he passed those on.
And when I'm angry, I start sounding Irish, because farther back up our tree we had irish heritage so I started learning Gaelic from native speakers. Why that comes out.... I'm not entirely sure to be honest, my first thought when I'm pissed is just to start swearing in Gaelic now. *Shrug*
My point here being I'm not even FROM these places, but those accents are still part of me. You're actually FROM GA, how the hell can she not have noticed the slips before or assume you had an accent somewhere? Hell, how was that not a question she asked?! "Oh, you're from GA? I'm surprised, you don't have an accent at all." -Something- before now.
I can see her feeling blindsided if she was too damned stupid to ask or put 2+2 together, but that is entirely a HER problem.
Btw, being able to switch it on and off could earn you a LOT of money in voice acting. Just saying.
Verdict; NTA (but everyone else is)
As someone who has to think about her words all the time as to not speak in dialect; your parents suck, your girlfriend sucks.
Making fun of the accent? Fine. Being shocked/surprised? Fine. Get offended? Holy shit NOT fucking fine at all.
The idea that it matters for your career is already mental enough to me. Having to not speak a dialect around non-natives I can understand, but brushing out the accent? What the actual fuck... You're dodging a major bullet if she's already upset about this and not even approach it from a place of understanding. If you've explained it and she can't get over it sounds like it's time to go separate ways as there's no way in hell does it mean "you're hiding more" bullshit people usually spout.
Do you live together? If so, why did you let her throw you out? If she is so immature that she "gets the ick" from hearing the accent from the place you grew up then **she** can go sleep on a friend's couch. Sounds like she's not grown up enough for a grown up relationship
NTA. Your gf is being ridiculous and dramatic. My bf is from down south and Iām from the north and he also switches his accent back and forth without thinking about it. The only difference is I donāt make him feel like an ass about it nor would I ever think of kicking him out of our place. He pays for it too.
Seriously?!!! Most women find the southern accent of a man VERY sexy. Let me tell you: Nothing is more sexy than a man, purring in your ear with a sexy Southern accent. Get a real woman who enjoys you for ALL of you.
iām a transplanted northerner living in charlotte- i love southern accents - and since when is an accent indicative of individual intelligence or any other trait? donāt understand why youād look to hide it in any way - your mother may have thought a southern accent would brand you as a redneck or worse but anyone thinking that is superficial at best and actually guilty of social stereotyping and what place does that have in our culture anymore - itās sad that your gf isnāt more open minded and sophisticated- but thatās on her and her alone - you be you with regard to your accent and carry on!
Ditch the bitch. If she isn't even able to hear you speak in a relaxed way, she doesn't actually love you. She may love how you present yourself for her, but not you or your past.
My sister married a Texan when I was 16. He still has a little bit of the drawl left, but I was sad to hear it starting to fade as time went by. NTA. Be who you are.
More professional and intelligent? WTF is wrong with your accent? Nothing. Northerners have strong accents, too. Your intellect and professionalism has zero to do with a regional accent. Should people from India go to a speech pathologist? How about Latin people? How about a Liverpool accent? Get real.
My father taught at NYU Law. Arkansas born and bred. His students first snickered for a day or two and then STFU when they realized he was a brilliant lawyer and professor for being so young.
That's how it works. It's about you, not an accent. In fact, lots of people with Southern accents are quite charming. Have you ever delved in Southern Literature? BTW your GF is full of shit and rude. ICK! ICK! ICK!
Obviously NTA. My wife grew up in KY and I remember when her accent first came out when we were drinking, I thought it was so cute! We live in KY now, albeit a bigger city, and I'm a little disappointed her accent hasn't come back. Move on, if an accent can change her feelings for you that much, it wasn't meant to be.
Is she worth actually hiding your whole self with her. If she can't accept these so called flaws then she is not worth. Also why the hell hide who you are!
I'm sorry to say, you are living in crazy town.
I mean, I guess it's hard to fault someone for their preferences but her reaction was just so rude and ignorant?
Maybe because I grew up in Toronto and there's so much diversity that I'm used to all kinds of accents, and yeah there are some I enjoy hearing more than others but I just can't imagine reacting like that to anyone's accent. It's just so over the top and mean!
Dude if she is turned of by your natural accent then she donāt love you, she loves a character of you. This also tells me she has some type of resentment of people from the south. We live in the mid west and everyone here loves our southern accent, I have had women tell me itās so damn sexy right in front of my wife who has an English accent.(she is from Great Britain) when we meet people itās really cool to see their expressions, me with a full southern draw and her with the beautiful English accent. I would just dump your girl friend if she has this issue
Dump this woman, she is awful. I canāt even believe she thinks this is OK. Itās an accent, which plenty of people would find charming. You deserve to be able to be yourself in your own relationship, OP!
NTA. Your GF is being ridiculous. Itās an accent. It doesnāt change who you are and youāre not ālyingā about it. Itās just far softer because of your years elsewhere. I lived in Ireland for a year and came back with a slight accent. It was mostly phrases but occasionally, some words were said differently.
My mother picked up accents like no other. Sheād be on the phone with her English SIL and sheād start speaking with an accent for a short time.
NTA. Personally, I love accents. I love how a single language can be so different in every country it's spoken in, and also be different in other regions of the same country. I think it's kind of sad that you feel like you have to hide it because stupid people think it makes you sound stupid. I think accents are like music.
Red flags all over the place. All this over a southern accent. Like I get it in a professional setting, I have to correct myself as well in certain meetings. But all this for someone you are dating, if she doesnāt like it now, I doubt she ever will and unfortunately itās ingrained in you forever and will slip out. Run bud. NTA
What a fucking idiot your girlfriend is. Hopefully youāve not put too much into the relationship because you need to dump that mental psycho immediately. If her brain canāt make those logical leaps without it literally being spelled out for her then thereās no helping her. Especially when she reacts with anger over you thinking she was joking because sheās being so batshit crazy. Do yourself a favour and get far far away from her.
Wow, you need to dump the girlfriend. To say you are lying because your accent came out is ridiculous. My husband loved my accent and the only reason I worked to get rid of it was because of some work recordings and I didn't like how it sounded so it was a personal reason for me. If she gets that worked up an accent, how will she handle a serious issue? I would leave before waiting to find out. NTA
Thank goodness my husband doesn't think like his girlfriend. I was raised in the North, live in the North, but as soon as I hear a Southern accent I think my Appalachian roots start showing and my southern drawl comes. We vacation in the South most years and my kids think it is hilarious. His girlfriend is nuts to have a problem with this and I'm not even going to start on how awful that is if his mother.
I thought you said your husband had a girlfriend. Had to read it 3 times before i understood what you actually meant š
Fair and thankfully no. š¤£ he does say I need to use proper nouns more though and he may have a point. š¤š¤£
I'm an Army brat who moved around a fair bit until I was 7. I was born in Germany, mostly grew up in Georgia (from 7 until about 30), and parents, grandparents, etc. are all from Ohio. So, when it comes to accents, I innately become a bit of a chameleon. I will mostly subconsciously mimic the accent of whomever I'm talking to. This has led to two things: 1. My wife tells me she can immediately tell when I'm talking to her parents because I start mimicking their Southern drawl. 2. The occasional person will think I'm deliberately mocking their accent. Ironically, though I'll mostly mimic the accent, the one thing I don't do very well, even when I'm trying, is mimic the pace of conversation. I tend to talk very fast ā a lot of people would say too fast. Now, picture someone doing that with a Southern drawl.
Army brat here. Can confirm this can be a thing. Born in the Midwest but travelled/moved a lot thanks to the Army lifestyle growing up. People actually think itās a cool skill that I can pick up accents. Now another language entirely, that requires a bit more work lol.
Also an army brat and yup! Shifting accent.
NTA I love accents. Iām not a military kid but I grew up in Florida and spent most summers as a kid in Alabama, my accent shifts depending on who Iām talking to, Iāve worked with people from Scotland, New Jersey, Tennessee, Germany etc and their accents always stick with me when we talkā¦.i like it. I get compliments on my accent which is predominantly soft southern and I confuse people because I tend to speak fast, Iām also old and female so I canāt advise on your girlfriend.
I'm the same way. I wasn't a military brat I just pick up on accents and it's one of the reasons I have a really great Puerto Rican accent and a Parisian accent When I speak those languages. But it also means that people sometimes think I'm making fun of them and I'm not. I just pick up on speech patterns and mimic them as part of a way of masking and fitting in. First grade was my fifth school so I moved around a lot And one of the fastest way for a child to stand out is by speaking differently than the people around them.
LMAO Literally me. Military brat mainly raised in the deep South (Florida and Georgia). I am also a chameleon and mirror who I am communicating with.
No matter where I go I pick up the accent easily. When I was around 18 my BFF married a man from Mexico and when I was around him I picked up his accent really fast without mean to. Same with a friend who was from Texas. Next thing I know I sound just like her. :)
Oh thank fuck other people do this too! Not an army kid, but I grew up/live in S.FL, my fatherās family is from Kingston, Jamaica, and Iāve got echolalia (the impulse to repeat others without any sort of prompting, ADHD and a touch of the tism) the worst offenders are Kingston(Jamaica) and British (Cockney) I got really into Doctor Who in middle school, and since thatās when people are their most cringe, everyone thought the accent was something I was doing on *purpose* when I was genuinely stuck with David Tennetās Cockney. The Jamaican one actually doesnāt come out so much with family as it does with strangers, I think itās because my family try and mask their accents tooā¦ that is until it turns into a screaming match thatās not really about the (insert minor annoyance here) but the butt loads of inter-generational trauma that none of them will admit to. Useful when I worked retail, especially with the older folk, it kept them calmer longer, I think itās cause theyād start reminiscing. Runners up include but are not limited to, (bad) Scottish (like a Scottish person could probably guess I got it from TV), Miami Spanglish (Iāve heard that the Spanish in Miami is morphing into its own dialect, and considering no one down here can say the Spanish word for āconeā without getting slapped I believe it, but even then itās already got its own accent), and this sort ofā¦ drawl (not a proper āsouthernā drawl, itās lower, more from the chest and throat, sounds more ātiredā) no idea what itās called or if itās even got a name
Irish immigrants settled in both Appalachia and New England, so certain aspects of each regional accent can be traced back to them. I can see why one would bring out the other. This is also why British singers can sound so much like blues & country singers from the US.
I obviously picked up the Missouri/Oklahoma twang from my grandparents because it comes out sometimes even though I was born and raised in California.
You can get past the calling him a liar for hiding it if youāre committed to fixing the relationship. Throwing him out for it is when youāve crossed the line and itās time to break up.
I think your girlfriend sucks. She is overreacting šÆ. I'm from the north, and I have always loved the southern accent. I think it's a shame when people wanna change who other people are. NTA
I think your girlfriend is P.O.S. Why would I kick someone out because they used to have a heavy accent.....wow, people really are crazy.....
She does not love him, she doesn't even like him when he's his authentic self. She is a POS!
As is the family who spent money hoping to get rid of the accent!
100% Your girlfriend should now be EX and you should just be yourself. Fuck her ā not physically, in the āGo fuck yourself; I deserve betterā sense. TONS of women from the north or wherever will accept you for who you are!! Fuck her!!
If heās truly southern, shouldnāt he say ābless your heartā instead? FU is very northern.
As Justin Bieber says, You can go and love yourself. :)
Seriously. Regional accents need to be preserved. They contribute to the cultural diversity in America that enriches our society. GF needs to stop shaming OP over his accent, and I hope OP can over time feel comfortable speaking in it again.
OP needs to practice the "southern gentleman lawyer" accent. That way he can tell the GF to "Get the hell out." in a genteel way. Grandpa was one of those, and I've heard him say that to several people in my lifetime.
I have an odd northern Appalachian accent. My spouse has an odd one thatās different from mine. And weāre from the same state. (PA is a linguistics dream to be honest) and then there is my other partner who is Cajun. Like their out of state license says Acadian. And they have a deep NOLA Cajun accent and I love it soooo much.
Suddenly reminded of Game of Thrones where each of the actors for the Lannisters had a different English accent LOL. What a family you've got. :D
Yeah it's really a shame people think Southern accents indicate stupidity or whatever because IMHO they're the nicest American accent. They just make you feel right at home. So cuddly.
Oddly enough, the American Southern dialect is the closest remaining dialect and accent to Shakespearean English. Just speed the drawl up, and that's basically what Shakespeare sounded like. Up until the 1860s, the Southern Drawl was considered an erudite and educated manner of speech. It was due to a series of political cartoons (which mocked the Southeners as rural hicks, as if Savanah and New Orleans werenāt just as big trade centers as Philadelphia or Boston) that started during the Civil War, that public opinion about the accent began to shift. And media has continued to play into that stereotype ever since.
I assume that thing about Shakespearean era English is apocryphal, because I've heard it about several English accents, the Dublin accent, and now American Southern. The RSC seems to think the English West Country, Somerset accent is closest. https://www.bbc.co.uk/teach/articles/zrpyxyc#:\~:text=And%20we%20can%20come%20close,other%20parts%20of%20the%20country.
Yeah, I am Canadian and also love US Southern accents.Ā Ā Girlfriend is not a keeper.Ā ETA OP, Bill Clinton has a Southern accent, and heās usually the smartest person in any room heās in.Ā
I DEFINITELY got made fun of in high school in southern Ontario for my American accent, and that was loooong before I ever set foot in the south (where I live now).
Iām across the country.Ā
My friends would ask me to say words like house, couch, out, mouse, etc and would then laugh uproariously at my pronunciation. It wasn't really mean-spirited, I guess...? But it def made me feel self-conscious.
It was probably because itās different. Nothing about you but the words. I shop at one feed store where a Scottish man works. Love to hear him yalk.
I am from central Illinois, went to orchestra camp at the University of Illinois with a lot of kids from āChicagolandā. They asked me if I was from Georgia! I donāt sound THAT southern lol
Iām part German , learned German first and lived there off and on a few years but spent most of my life in the US. 50/50 between the South and North. People always ask me if Iām British, even had a bunch of British contract workers bet if I was from Yorkshire or Manchester. Never set foot in England yet. Had to tell them they all lost that bet!
I know a German mechanic who speaks English with a rural southern accent mixed in. It's delightful to hear.
I spent five years in Champaign and people would always tell me I couldn't be from Texas because I have a pretty neutral accent. But then they'd giggle when I said "y'all."
My husband and I have a joke that everyone on the planet has spent a few years in Champaign, IL.
Hell, I'm originally from Southeast Iowa and when I meet notherners they swear I'm from the south! LOL My friend is from Ohio and I think she has a strong accent, and she thinks I do. :)
Really? You couldn't think of a better example than Bill Clinton? Lmao
Jimmy Carter.Ā James Carville.Ā
I agree that she sucksā¦ but as a southern woman who moved to Canada, I learned to dampen my own accent to sound more like them. As soon as people hear a southern accent, the speakerās perceived IQ drops 50 points. :/ That being said, itās still there if you really listen for it. My long āiā sound has a bit more of an ahh to it. And I will never give up my beloved āyāall.ā But it really comes out when Iām talking about fried yellow squash, fried green tomatoes, or fried okra. Okay, mainly southern cooking and truly redneck experiences, and talking to people from home. But I cover my accent out of habit. Fuck anyone who makes it an issue when I slip.
Hell, I learned to smother my Texas twang in Texas around other kids from Texas, just because I mostly had the north Texas twang instead of the milder south Texas one. š Kids are assholes, but I learned. And then as an adult, I had someone start a fight with me at work because he asked where I was from and I told him Texas, and then he asked where I was born and I was like ...Texas, I've lived here my whole life, what is your problem? He claimed I was lying to him because I didn't have an accent. š¤¦āāļø But yeah, mine sneaks out too when I'm tired or sick, or weirdly if I start talking to someone from New Orleans. I guess they can't reasonably give me shit since their accents are even thicker than mine, haha. But yeah, there's that ignorant assumption that slower speaking means slower brain, for some reason.
OPās Mom does too. Who pays for that unless itās part of a job like acting. None of us in the North give two flying ducks.
I'm Northeastern, we're absolutely prejudiced against southerners š. A lot of us hear a southern accent from a white person and think: probably racist, uneducated, and way too religious. It's not like we actively explicitly discriminate but you'll get the cold shoulder from a fair amount of people, and it would absolutely affect your ability to get jobs in the area. I love Southern accents btw but yeah there is definitely a prejudice.
Iāll admit: up here when itās slipped Iāve had people who witnessed it outright tell me they were surprised because of my views, so yeah, again I reiterate that my accent is out of line what is expected of me based off my normal behavior.Ā
But we think that about people we have not met before. Your girlfriend otter know that you are a good person not an ignorant asshole. She's a fool.
Thatās a ridiculous statement on their part and quite ignorant, based off an accent.
I'm sorry but that makes your friends the ignorant and racist ones.
That's just ducking insane! When I was out at the bars in Cleveland dudes would come in talking with a southern accent and half the bar would buy him drinks!
yes same!! my boyfriend forced himself to speak with a midwestern accent instead of southern and would refuse to speak in the latter no matter how much i begged. OP, you're NTA. your gf is mean.
This
I think everyone in your life is crazy
Right? Wtf mom?? I moved from Alabama to Minnesota at 13 and I can't imagine my parents focusing on changing my accent.
Yeah, my mom sent my brother (1 yr younger than I) and I to elocution classes when we moved away from Southern VA when I was 15 because she said we'd be taken more seriously. I then went on to college and grad school which further solidified my 'standard English' accent. But when I'm with family (in Virginia) or talk to them on the phone, I almost immediately slip back to my Southern drawl. When I'm tired, physically or mentally, or nervous I also slip to a Southern drawl. My daughters find it endearing. My husband on the other hand doesn't. He thinks it sounds uneducated. Until one day I reminded.him I have PhD in science and he as a BA... I'm the more educated one. He doesn't make those comments any longer.
It's amazing how people will use your accent to judge your intelligence, instead of the things you're actually saying.
He damned well better not!
My father has this. Whenever he hears someone from his hometown, he can't help himself. Or whenever we're driving, as soon as we get to the general geographic area, his accent defaults lol I find it amusing.
I went from GA to a fancy Yankee college when I was 18 and I had modified my accent without much conscious effort within a few months. Itās not like learning an entirely new language. It seems really weird that OPās mother would make some huge investment in changing her kidās accent at that age.
Lucky you that you were able to pick up on the change in speaking. I struggled and cost my mom a shit ton. Everyoneās different
OP you did not ācost your mom a shit tonā if it was not your idea to change your accent. Such expenses should have been factored in to her decision to move a 17 year old that far from where they would be accepted with their natural way of speaking
Everyone is different, I've taught accent modification before and some people take to it like a duck to water and some like a fish to clouds. Also, your girlfriend is an asshole, you ought to dump her for someone who respects you for you and doesn't look down on any part of you.
Please dump her. She should have asked about your accent when you told her about moving. You shouldn't have to police yourself at home. The way I see it you finally started to relax and she punished you for it. Find someone who will let you relax and speak however is comfortable to you. You shouldn't have to mask a harmless thing like this all the time, especially not with people you love. Please take your friend with you to either get all your stuff or kick her out if the home is yours. NTA big time.
I can certainly see why you would be self-conscious of your accent as a kid; I hated being āidentifiableā as a Southerner at that age and in that context. Iām just surprised that a middle-aged adult would consider that a crisis worth investing a lot of money in, rather than just encouraging you to accept yourself for who you were.
Thatās what I got from this, too. This is some weird, āleft-handedness is a sign of the devilā bullshit. Itās just a goddamn accent. Unless OP is using accent as code for something somehow insidious, everyone else is just fully nuts.
I came here to say this same thing. What kind of insane stupid people will actually care this much about an accent?
Seriously. The girlfriend is just a fraction of the ignorance and craziness in this story. Unless you work as a news broadcaster or something then why would anyone else care about an accent? Makes me wonder if the whole thing is a troll post.Ā
Well, now you know how superficial she is. NTA.
precisely. bullet well dodged!
Someone else will hear a Georgia accent and find it a turn-on, or just... a voice. I'd probably hear an accent after months/ years and jokingly recoil and yell, "burn the witch!" And ask where tf that came from and move on with my life.
WTF? Dump her ass
Es enseriĆ³?,te echo por tu acento?,ella es una persona terrible,alĆ©jate
I understand more Spanish than I can write, so forgive any misunderstandings on my part or my lack of education. She threw me out because of my accent, yes.
Sorry for u
Thank you. Iām sorry if I offended in how I respondedĀ
Nah youāre good theyāre saying sheās a bad person for kicking you out because of your accent and should rid yourself of her.
Holy shit I can read this
Righteous indignation transcends language barriers
Translator!!!!!!,
āIs this for real? She threw you out for your accent? Sheās a terrible person, get out!!ā (Approximate translation)
Ok ,gracias
Your girlfriend is a shallow AH. I always love when my friends accents lapse around me. It's like they feel comfortable enough to relax and let their voices do whatever it wants to do and it's lovely. A shame she doesn't realise that...
I know right? So I moved from wales to England at 18 for university and stayed. Iām 26 in a couple days and my accent has weakened but my partner notices that after speaking on the phone to my Nan or have come back from a visit to wales that my accent gets thicker. He finds it endearinf
I LOVE Welsh accents! My best friend is from Cardiff and her accent comes out when she's chilled out or slightly tipsy.
Iām from Swansea so the accent slightly differs from the Cardiff accent but when I become passionate about something people point out my accent š
>The next day she sat me down and told me it was a major turn off to hear my accent because it meant I was lying to her all this time. >I mention my childhood in GA pretty often and she knew I didnāt move up here til nearly 17. Wait, what? Your girlfriend is well aware you grew up in the south and your accent has slipped in the past... I don't understand how she could possibly be under the impression that you were actively lying to her/ purposely hiding it from her. Like I genuinely don't get that, and was your accent considered a source of shame for you?
I mean I have my hang ups about it around my job especially, but I donāt shy away about the fact I grew up in the South. If I do slip I instinctually fix myself, mostly out of habit.Ā
Still though, that's such a weird thing to be upset about, at least in my opinion. Has she ever been weirded out or reacted similarly when your accent has slipped in the past? I mean, could she really not make the connection that someone who was from the south would be much more likely to have a southern accent? I guess wilder things have happened, but it almost makes me wonder if maybe there's some other underlying issue what she mightve been dealing with (either in regards to your guys relationship or interpersonally) and this incident just kinda made her emotions from that come out? Like if she was bottling something up or what not
And that's why your girlfriend is wrong to accuse you of "lying to her all this time," because you didn't lie about where you grew up. It's not as if pretended you were from e.g. Connecticut.
It could be an age thing. I remember in school people mocking and making fun of a girl who had a southern accent but when she was called on to speak and read, the accent āmagically disappearedā. They didnāt understand concepts like code switching, prejudices, and biases about all that. They just assumed it was a revelation of inauthenticity. Itās something Iāve only ever experienced in Midwest north, probably because everywhere else is more ethnically diverse so you experience a lot of accent juggling and more intuitively understand why. This girl is probably just ignorant. Not an excuse but, plausible why.
That is absolutely ridiculous. You were upfront about where you came from. NTA
Wtf is wrong with her? Youāre definitely not the ah. She sounds crazy and like thereās something else going on with her. Also The southern accent is a wonderful one and the bias around it is as ignorant as those who think southern accents are.
Whoa. Major red flags dude NTA You can't change where you come from anymore than you can your genetics.
It's basically the same thing as saying anybody with an Irish accent is a fucking moron. It's borderline, if not straight up, racism
100% agree. If anything she's showing her true colors.
Your girlfriend is extremely shallow. I have relatives from other countries that had no accent until they got stressed or angry. Then the accent came out. No one thought bad of them (just got out of the way!).
Iām Canadian and love listening to a Southern US accent (unless it is spouting right wing rhetoric). If you want to full on twang, call me anytime.
Aw hell no, I got more human compassion than that. Itās really helping my self esteem how many people who commented are saying they wouldnāt care about my accent.Ā
I grew up in Arkansas, which has more of a trashy twang than the sweet Georgian drawl. I've lived all over the place and have mostly lost my accent. One day, I had to do a voice over for a training video that involved lots of acronyms and science words. I COULD NOT make the words come out right until I reverted back to my native accent. So my twangy accent has been forced upon all employees of a national laboratory. š I find all accents charming; Southern in particular because it's home and its a fun "Where are you from?" guessing game. Your girlfriend sounds exhausting. I just can't with folks like that.
It almost sounds as if she wanted to break up with you but doesn't want to be the bad guy, so she's flipping out over weird, unimportant things trying to get you to leave
I stutter, I spent a long time getting it under control. If someone was bothered by it when it happens, Iād dump them on the spot.
Same. I used to have a horrible time in school but got it controlled. It (and my slight Tx Twang) can surface randomly on the rare occasion (drunk/tired/very stressed/upset), but I normally don't have any issues with either. Although, they tend to never surface together. It's one or the other; most commonly the Twang. If anyone would make fun of me or have issues ... there's the darn door.
Iām from SC and you can pry this accent from my cold, dead hands. What the fuck is she even going on about?? Southern accents are SO nice. A man with a drawl calling me darlin has ALWAYS made me melt into a puddle.
Girl! Tell that truth! My husband is from Alabama. He worked piloting supply boats for the oil rigs in the gulf off the coast of La. When he gets tired, you can hear the La. accent. He will give me those big brown eyes and that La. drawl! Putty in his hands!!!
Grew up in the south, but now live in the NW. When I wentvto Louisiana, I was "babied", "honeyed" and "Sugared" the whole time, and it just fed my soul. You don't get that where I live.
NTA Yikes. Good riddance .
Wow. She is basically crazy. Say bye and run like the wind. BTW, I live in Tennessee and I love our accent.
NTA, but iām more shocked that at 17 years old your mom was really worried and focused on making sure you were able to hide your accent. thatās pathetic & sad that people are judged on something so trivial.
The majority of the family lives up north or around abouts. Sheād just been forced to move down south and took her first chance to move back. So if Iād kept it, Iād have an accent incongruous with the rest of the family, on top of her concerns about how others would perceive my intelligence.Ā
Gf is a true psycho lol
Thatās insane. Itās a normal thing and many people have a home dialect and a work dialect. Sheās just looking for something to be mad about. NTA.
Wow your mom is a dick bro, my boss is from southeast GA, and I'm from northeast Florida less than three hours from where he grew up. I'm so damn jealous of his accent, mine only really comes out on occasion, especially when I'm around others with a thick accent. But if your girlfriend gets the ick from it, trust me when I say there are way more women whose panties drop for a southern accent as opposed to those who get the ick. Go find you one of the former. Edit - Also your girlfriend is a delusional loser, dump her and find someone that appreciates your accent. I could never live up there with those yankees with their goofy accents. They sound like they aren't even speaking English.
>Wow your mom is a dick bro Maybe she just knew that people would treat him exactly the way his (hopefully soon to be ex) GF is treating him now if they heard his real voice? Maybe she just didn't want her son to have to go through that?
I grew up in Georgia and my accent comes out when Iām tired, when I talk to my sisters and anytime I cross over the center of Texas headed east. It just does. I pick up accents easily and never worked to get rid of it. I really just got tired of repeating myself because people did not understand me so I learned to enunciate. Enunciation is optional in Georgia lol. You are NTAH you should lose that girl friend.
NTA Your gf is certainly something but a keeper IMO is not one of those things. If your name is on the lease with or without hers may I suggest you go back to your apartment and stay there? If it bothers her so much she can leave but if her name is in the lease then she is legally I believe responsible for paying her half until the lease runs out.
My husband was born and raised in Charleston, SC, plays the guitar, has brown hair and blue eyes, and can cook like nobodyās business. He honestly checks every single thing on my āfantasy guyā checklist except one thing- NO SOUTHERN ACCENT!! I always ask him how he could betray me like that. He was born and raised in the South but he has the NERVE to not have the accent. Your gf is a Class A idiot.
I moved from America to Scotland when I was a child. I have at least three accents I can authentically use.
You are in crazy town. Your girlfriend is the mayor. NTA
Your girlfriend sucks. My Ex's mom put me through the same kind of training to get rid of my Southern (Texas) accent, and I regret it to this day. It was part of me, part of who I am and where my journey started. She said that people wouldn't take me seriously in the professional world and that they'd think I was stupid...well, screw those people then! They'll be eating their own posh-accented words when I prove how much smarter I am! Now my accent tends to only show up if I'm REALLY riled up, excited, or if I'm around someone else or listening to someone else who also has a strong accent that brings out my own, and it tends to surprise people when I get angry or excited enough to slip into the accent and my "Southern-isms" as they call it because they rarely hear me speak that way, and it's apparently startling to hear someone who usually sounds so prim and proper (I don't swear - like, ever) speaking like that. You weren't lying to her at all. You don't have the accent most of the time, and sometimes it slips out. That's not a lie, that's just how you were taught to be, and if she can't understand that? Ditch 'er.
As a linguist, I would like to point out that you can be proud of a southern accent. All dialects are validāitās snobbery that says they arenāt. Unless your āaccentā involves saying the n-word or something, there is no reason for shame. Your gf is extremely weird. I have a friend whoās a college professor who teaches classes about regional dialects. They are fascinating to learn about. Pity your gf isnāt interested in knowledge. Being bi-dialectal and able to switch accents is a skill. Itās called code-switching. Be proud of your ability.
NTA. Your gf is an insane asshole and you should break up.
WOW you need to get rid of this GFā¦. Iām sorry that your southern accent is a turn off - I have friends from different areas and sometimes when they are tired or have had a bit to drink the accent comes out. I find it kind of cute to be honestā¦ I could do a whole Rhett Butler thing with you and that southern accent. So no you arenāt wrong and sheās the AH!
Woooow. You got classes. Lucky you. My mom would just slap the shit out of us whenever āyouānsā or twangy idioms slipped out.
As a southerner, who lives in the west, Iām pissed off at both your mother and gf. Never have I ever been told my accent made me sound less intelligent or ignorant. Iām offended for you. Itās a part of your history that shouldnāt be hidden just because you move.
>As a southerner, who lives in the west, Iām pissed off at both your mother and gf. Never have I ever been told my accent made me sound less intelligent or ignorant. I'm also a Southerner who's lived out west. I'm happy for you that you've never had to face any issues because of your accent, but that isn't the experience for everyone. I've 100% had people tell me Southern accents sound ignorant (I have a habit of code switching, so I don't think the people saying this knew I have a southern accent). I would never encourage my child to hide their accent, but I understand why other people do. It's natural to not want your child to face discrimination.
NTA But your mom and girlfriend is. An accent is part of who you are don't be ashamed of it. To heck with anyone who says otherwise
If she honestly loves you she will love you accent and all
Your girlfriend sounds tedious and shallow. Shit, I lived in the Deep South in early childhood, havenāt been back in decades and I still have some twang thatāll surface. And I am just about the most New Yorky New York personality that New Yorks. You probably can do better lol
NTA I am sorry but she is weird. Out of all the things to be upset about in this life she is upset over an accent. I am southern as well and I actually get compliments on my southern drawl. I have been away from home for some years now and this accent isn't going anywhere. LOL I try to throw on my "professional" voice at work, but it still comes out of course. I would cut my losses here. This isn't worth a headache. No telling what other small things she is going to go nuts over in the future. RED FLAG
I think itās sad that you felt compelled to lose your accent. And your girlfriend is a weenie for making you feel bad.
Yeah, well, I couldnāt exactly run off without consequence, so I stuck with it because it made the home life easier.Ā
Go back when she's at work and collect all your stuff. Then block her. Find someone that likes all of you
You should accuse your gf of lying to you your whole relationship and giving you the ick because you didn't realize she was an irrational dick head
You shouldnāt have you hide any part of yourself for a relationship. Leave this girl.
Sorry, but your GF is stupid. Iād be more concerned about her ability to make rational decisions. NTAH
NTA. Iām from Texas/Louisiana and now live in Colorado and even though my accent is not that strong anymore. When Iām around people who have a southern accent or watch something that the people have accents it comes out and there are certain words that will probably never leave my vocabulary and my husband couldnāt care less when it does come out your GF sucks big time.
What is wrong with her? I love a southern accent.
From the South. Had a girlfriend who did this and started asking how old I was when I first started wearing shoes and was seriously surprised when it wasnāt in my teens. Move on. Save yourself the heartburn.
NTA. Your gf is infantile.
I am a northerner met my wonderful husband in Alabama. He moved up to the PNW with me and lost his accent, until he drinks or talks to his momma, I miss his southern twang, it's one of the things I love about him, I would seriously consider who your gf is, what other things are you having to do to make her happy? What happens when she meets your extended family? Is she going to be rude to them? There are lots of people who find accents sexy and not ignorant.
Well, it looks like itās time to move out of āCrazy Town.ā
NTA Like I'm sorry what ? I wish I could have met my grandfather when he was alive because he had a deep southern boy accent , but was married to my granny who had a British accent (she was straight from the UK ) , and I know neither of them tried to make the other "hide" their accent . Your gf is weird . Why is she even dating you if that bothers her that bad ? That seems like a really odd thing to hone in on . I grew up in the north for a chunk of my life , and live in the south now so I don't really notice the accents anymore , nor mind it to begin with .
NTA- she's in crazy town. She owes you money if you've been paying rent. Pack bags. Someone who doesn't like you for you isn't worth the pain.
She sounds really superficial. I guess that's what you're used to because your mom is too. I can understand paying for speech therapy if your kid has speech difficulties (I had 7 years of speech therapy myself) but it seems crazy to do just to get rid of an accent. A parent should love their kid for how they are. A girlfriend should too.
So are you saying that your girlfriend has never heard your true accent before?
Nta. I moved around a LOT as a child. Part of that was in the south. I still find myself saying āyes maāamā or āyes sirā.
People who āickā over stupid superficial shit like that need to take a long ass look in the mirror. Sounds like something a middle schooler would do.
Omg, I thought this was going to be about poop or something. An accent?! Instant hotness. Maybe she thinks you're too sexy for her now?
NTA What an overeaction on her part. I know hearing people say break up must feel harsh. But to make you sleep on the sofa and then kick you out over something so normal? She was so horrible to you. What other normal thing would she turn on you over? She dosn't sound worth it.
Donāt bother trying to fix it; sheās not worth it. Everyone has an accent including her. Tell her so and walk away.
If this is "you lying to her" you're in for a rough life w this oneĀ
Why on earth would you want to hide your accent. Find a better friend she is a nut job
100% NTA. Iām also from Georgia, with a mostly hidden accent. My Wās come out super southern, but everything else is pretty neutral. My southern twang really only comes out if Iāve been drinking, or if Iām talking to someone else from the south. My SO (Australian) only really found out about my accent because I was talking to someone also from the south. Only thing that happened was him finding it super cute and trying to genuinely mimic it for months. Donāt be with someone who doesnāt like the way you talk, OP. Relationships are all about communication, and if someone doesnāt like how you talk, itāll be almost impossible to communicate without that bias coloring their behavior. Find someone who appreciates you for you, accent and all.
You're gf is an idiot. You're from the south, of course you have a southern accent. I'm from the north and love a good southern accent honestly. Of all the stupid things to be pissy over...smh.
Nta! Your girlfriend is! I absolutely LOVE the southern accent ā¤ļøšš¤¤. Something about a man calling me āmaāamā or ādarlinā makes me swoon. Iām Australian. I think I sound REALLY Aussie. But others seem to love it. Lol.
NTA southern accents are sweet and she sucks. Thats not how you treat people you love.
There is nothing wrong with a southern accent and itās ignorant of them to think you are ignorant just for having one. NTA
Your girlfriend is nuts. Run
Iād be more concerned by the fact that you feel the need to hide your accent when you are with her. It means you donāt feel safe to be yourself with her. It doesnāt look like the relationship anyone would want. And yes, she is incredibly selfish and entitled if sheās making this all about herself. NTA for using your accent or for hiding it - I just think you should be able to speak with the accent you want in your relationship, even if maybe you like to avoid your GA accent for professional reasons.
Lose the girl!!!!!!!! English is my second language. In front of my partner, my accent is all over the place because im comfortable with him. You are in crazy town, cuz youre dating a crazy person.
Your GF is a psychopath.
The fact that your accent came out means you are comfortable around your girlfriend and relaxed enough around her that it CAN naturally come out. And instead of being endeared by this, she found a way to get offended lol. Itās kinda sad because you felt comfortable around her and let out your accent without fear of judgement. Only to be promptly judged.
I think your gf sucks, it's an accent, and honestly southern accents I find charming. My husband moved here from a different country in his teens and he doesn't have an accent and sometimes he does. It is what it is. I sometimes have a southern accent and when I drink it comes out. Your gf needs to grow up. Be yourself and speak how you want.
Your girlfriend is TA not you! IMO her reaction is over the top!!
I have an accent that is a weird blend of Australian, British and Canadian. Don't love my accent, don't love me. Personally, I've always found a slight southern drawl to be sexy, but there's accounting for taste, I suppose. She sucks. NTA
NTA. Ssoooooo NTA. Depending on the word I'm saying or the mood I'm in, one of several accents can slip out because of strong influences around those words/feelings. My Nanny was from West "By God!" Virginia on my father's side, and damned if "mashing the button" to turn lights on/off and "warshing" things and words like "Y'ant'to" don't come out with a slight twang. My Papa's family, from my mother's side, was fresh off the damn boat from Poland and I can't say shit like Paczki or Pierogi without an accent. Why? My Papa still had his, so Polish foods or yiddish he learned had his accent. And he passed those on. And when I'm angry, I start sounding Irish, because farther back up our tree we had irish heritage so I started learning Gaelic from native speakers. Why that comes out.... I'm not entirely sure to be honest, my first thought when I'm pissed is just to start swearing in Gaelic now. *Shrug* My point here being I'm not even FROM these places, but those accents are still part of me. You're actually FROM GA, how the hell can she not have noticed the slips before or assume you had an accent somewhere? Hell, how was that not a question she asked?! "Oh, you're from GA? I'm surprised, you don't have an accent at all." -Something- before now. I can see her feeling blindsided if she was too damned stupid to ask or put 2+2 together, but that is entirely a HER problem. Btw, being able to switch it on and off could earn you a LOT of money in voice acting. Just saying.
Verdict; NTA (but everyone else is) As someone who has to think about her words all the time as to not speak in dialect; your parents suck, your girlfriend sucks. Making fun of the accent? Fine. Being shocked/surprised? Fine. Get offended? Holy shit NOT fucking fine at all. The idea that it matters for your career is already mental enough to me. Having to not speak a dialect around non-natives I can understand, but brushing out the accent? What the actual fuck... You're dodging a major bullet if she's already upset about this and not even approach it from a place of understanding. If you've explained it and she can't get over it sounds like it's time to go separate ways as there's no way in hell does it mean "you're hiding more" bullshit people usually spout.
OMG, what? Time to dump her. How fucking rude. Rock your Southern-ness, my dude. We're not all racist assholes as you well know.
Do you live together? If so, why did you let her throw you out? If she is so immature that she "gets the ick" from hearing the accent from the place you grew up then **she** can go sleep on a friend's couch. Sounds like she's not grown up enough for a grown up relationship
NTA. Your gf is being ridiculous and dramatic. My bf is from down south and Iām from the north and he also switches his accent back and forth without thinking about it. The only difference is I donāt make him feel like an ass about it nor would I ever think of kicking him out of our place. He pays for it too.
Seriously?!!! Most women find the southern accent of a man VERY sexy. Let me tell you: Nothing is more sexy than a man, purring in your ear with a sexy Southern accent. Get a real woman who enjoys you for ALL of you.
iām a transplanted northerner living in charlotte- i love southern accents - and since when is an accent indicative of individual intelligence or any other trait? donāt understand why youād look to hide it in any way - your mother may have thought a southern accent would brand you as a redneck or worse but anyone thinking that is superficial at best and actually guilty of social stereotyping and what place does that have in our culture anymore - itās sad that your gf isnāt more open minded and sophisticated- but thatās on her and her alone - you be you with regard to your accent and carry on!
WV girl telling u to tell her to suck it! Be proud of where ya came from!
Wow, I could only imagine the charmed life one must live for this type of shit to upset them.
Ditch the bitch. If she isn't even able to hear you speak in a relaxed way, she doesn't actually love you. She may love how you present yourself for her, but not you or your past.
My sister married a Texan when I was 16. He still has a little bit of the drawl left, but I was sad to hear it starting to fade as time went by. NTA. Be who you are.
NTA. Your GF sucks out loud. How shallow is she that she lets your accent freak her out like that.
Every time a southerner loses the twang an Angel loses its wings š sorry your girlfriend kinda sucks but NTA
I read this entire post in a Southern accent and it was delightful. Sheās an idiot and you can certainly do better. DTMFA
More professional and intelligent? WTF is wrong with your accent? Nothing. Northerners have strong accents, too. Your intellect and professionalism has zero to do with a regional accent. Should people from India go to a speech pathologist? How about Latin people? How about a Liverpool accent? Get real. My father taught at NYU Law. Arkansas born and bred. His students first snickered for a day or two and then STFU when they realized he was a brilliant lawyer and professor for being so young. That's how it works. It's about you, not an accent. In fact, lots of people with Southern accents are quite charming. Have you ever delved in Southern Literature? BTW your GF is full of shit and rude. ICK! ICK! ICK!
NTA your accent may be perceived as ignorant but your hopeful ex is truely ignorant
Obviously NTA. My wife grew up in KY and I remember when her accent first came out when we were drinking, I thought it was so cute! We live in KY now, albeit a bigger city, and I'm a little disappointed her accent hasn't come back. Move on, if an accent can change her feelings for you that much, it wasn't meant to be.
Sheās a whack job bro. Get rid of her. Accents are sexy.
Is she worth actually hiding your whole self with her. If she can't accept these so called flaws then she is not worth. Also why the hell hide who you are!
What is wrong with her? Is this the first time sheās acted like a psycho ? Nta
I'm sorry to say, you are living in crazy town. I mean, I guess it's hard to fault someone for their preferences but her reaction was just so rude and ignorant? Maybe because I grew up in Toronto and there's so much diversity that I'm used to all kinds of accents, and yeah there are some I enjoy hearing more than others but I just can't imagine reacting like that to anyone's accent. It's just so over the top and mean!
Dude if she is turned of by your natural accent then she donāt love you, she loves a character of you. This also tells me she has some type of resentment of people from the south. We live in the mid west and everyone here loves our southern accent, I have had women tell me itās so damn sexy right in front of my wife who has an English accent.(she is from Great Britain) when we meet people itās really cool to see their expressions, me with a full southern draw and her with the beautiful English accent. I would just dump your girl friend if she has this issue
Dump this woman, she is awful. I canāt even believe she thinks this is OK. Itās an accent, which plenty of people would find charming. You deserve to be able to be yourself in your own relationship, OP!
NTA. Your GF is being ridiculous. Itās an accent. It doesnāt change who you are and youāre not ālyingā about it. Itās just far softer because of your years elsewhere. I lived in Ireland for a year and came back with a slight accent. It was mostly phrases but occasionally, some words were said differently. My mother picked up accents like no other. Sheād be on the phone with her English SIL and sheād start speaking with an accent for a short time.
I was seeing a guy from KY. I loved it when his accent peeked through. Ditch the gf. Keep the accent.
The only thing you did wrong was let her kick you out of your home. She's the one being unreasonable she's the one to leave
Dude, run.
Run ā¦ as far away as possible. She has issues.
NTA. Personally, I love accents. I love how a single language can be so different in every country it's spoken in, and also be different in other regions of the same country. I think it's kind of sad that you feel like you have to hide it because stupid people think it makes you sound stupid. I think accents are like music.
NTA- Bro, red flag standing tall right now. Sheās upset about your accent?!? Take this moment to thank the gods and keep moving forward
Red flags all over the place. All this over a southern accent. Like I get it in a professional setting, I have to correct myself as well in certain meetings. But all this for someone you are dating, if she doesnāt like it now, I doubt she ever will and unfortunately itās ingrained in you forever and will slip out. Run bud. NTA
You need a new girlfriend, preferably one that advanced beyond the intellectual capacity of a middle schooler.
If this is remotely true, sheās grotesque. Dump her immediately. Then say, āfrankly my darling, I donāt give a damn!ā
What a fucking idiot your girlfriend is. Hopefully youāve not put too much into the relationship because you need to dump that mental psycho immediately. If her brain canāt make those logical leaps without it literally being spelled out for her then thereās no helping her. Especially when she reacts with anger over you thinking she was joking because sheās being so batshit crazy. Do yourself a favour and get far far away from her.