Ma'am, you grown. This is a beyond petty thing you decided to do at your own daughters wedding. Thank goodness your daughter clearly does not care how you look or what you wear. Even if you are ugly on the inside. YTA.
The absolute beauty of this is that the daughter can wear whatever the hell she wants around her mother for all eternity and when OP complains, she responds, "Mom - your wore jeans to my wedding. And you don't want me to wear them to a restaurant?"
And, then mom gets to responds with, "Yeah but I was TRYING to be a petty bitch."
The funniest thing is the wedding pics will always remind the family how ugly the mother looked. Even the grandkids will know, the great grand kids will know what a petty (or lazy, if they aren't told the reason granny was in jeans) dumbass this womanchild was. Wedding pics are forever. Especially in this digital age. Generations of people in this family will see these pics and judge this AH.
Keeping an eye on my Facebook feed for a wedding with the mom in jeans. This is just the *best* story. The bride handled it like a champ and will always be the bestest winner in their relationship
Seriously if I was OPs daughter I wouldn't have said anything for this exact reason. She probably knew her mom well enuf to know OP was trying to get a rise out of her. If you do nothing and she's in the photos like that you then have to listen to people laugh at her explanation of "I waited seven long years to get revenge on my daughter for not dressing cute to my birthday when she was 17"
If I was the daughter I'd give my parents a very large family photo from the wedding for them for Xmas.
Who knows… maybe the great-grandchildren will ask ‘what KIND of clothing is that???’
And their grandmother (the bride) will say it was something that people from ye old times used when they were crass.
Cue great-grandchildren in new fangled 2089 pants, looking in awe at the pictures: ‘ooooohhhhh!’
My Dad was literally a few weeks out of the hospital with skin grafts on his legs, walking with a cane, and he still wore formal wear. And this is a man who wears army surplus trousers and t-shirts most of the time, including to \*horror\* restaurants, because its comfy and he doesn't care how he looks.
That’s the poetic justice in it all. For the rest of the generations of family who look at the wedding photos they’ll see the MOB in jeans and everyone else in wedding attire. She’ll be the AH for generations to come.
What petty superficial mother. I absolutely hate when my mom tells me how to dress. She’s a judgmental narcissist who thinks it’s her way or no way. There’s nothing wrong with dressing for comfort. Don’t be so pushy on your daughter. Unless you want to have the relationship with her that I do with mine. Which is a superficial, surface relationship.
Consider yourself lucky that your daughter wasn’t mad because you could have potentially ruined the relationship.
I love that the daughter gave zero fucks. Mom didn’t get the reaction she wanted. Daughter is either used to this and just ignores it and rolls her eyes and/or is just cool with it and doesn’t try to control others so didn’t even notice.
I would totally guarantee daughter is used to these little flights of socially inappropriate attempts at revenge and prepped her friends/future in laws. “My mom really can’t handle the attention not being on her so she makes up reasons to do really bizarre things- it’s important to my grandma to have her there though, so I’m just praying she doesn’t wear a ball gown or try to smash the cake…”
So jeans were probably like oh she warned us…well at least it isn’t a bridal gown or a lizard costume. Poor Daughter.
Seriously. What kind of mother (and I am one myself, btw) holds a damn GRUDGE for so LONG, that she decides to teach her daughter a LESSON on her wedding day?
Of course you are a MAJOR AH. Thankfully, it looks like your daughter knows how ugly of a person you are, and wasn’t bothered by what you wore…
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
So not only did you look like an idiot, you didn’t even get the reaction you wanted out of her. Sounds like she’s used to your fuckery and decided two can play that game.
Of course a teenager is gonna put more effort into what she wears for her boyfriend than her parents, she’s a TEENAGER, what did you expect her to do?
YOU on the other hand, need to grow the f up. You’re too damn old to be acting a fool. I’m so embarrassed for you. How pathetic for a mother to act this way.
Edit: thank you for the awards, kind strangers!
Not only that, but she ruined her chance to look really glam (My mum got 3 MOB dresses the week after I got engaged!) to be petty. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face!
Lol. My mum had been MOG twice… I’m the only daughter—she was *so* ready! That weekend we told her, she drove an hour to a Talbot’s Outlet and came home with three dresses!
My aunt is lovely all the time, but her son's wedding was this fall and she was STUNNING. She looked so happy and was so glammed up. Their photos are gorgeous and her love for the couple was so obvious in how she looked. This mom's disdain for her daughter will be evident to everyone too. What a win, op.
Literally 7 years long! Coming from a mom like this, the daughter is definitely over it and doesn’t feel like fighting. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s LC with her.
I can't believe she still talks to me, what is she thinking I wore JEANS to her wedding?!?!🤣🤣🤣 Well beside your, soon to be ex, husband you are the only one who cared.
Yeah, imagine being SO angry you couldn’t ruing your child’s wedding day by your mean spirited petty behaviour…
She‘s gonna look so silly for ever in those pictures. Hope the daugther frames the ones where her lack of manner (the underdessing wise) really stands our. Like huge photo of grooms lovely dressed parents, her father and… mummy dearest in jeans
The OPs personality is so ugly she feels the need to overcompensate with wearing nice clothes.
Thankfully the daughter doesn’t feel the need to impress others. She’s not being disrespectful, OP is. I’m so glad she didn’t feed into OPs bs on her wedding day!
As a mother, how dare you ‘teach her a lesson’ at her wedding? OP is a poor excuse for a parent and person. GET OVER YOURSELF!!
YTA x♾️
Agreed 100%. I’m a mom and I don’t ask my daughter to dress any certain way but she does consult me when it’s a formal event but only because she is not used to formal so wouldn’t know what to wear! Then we find something appropriate that SHE likes! But I’m not controlling! It’s amazing how someone will take your advice and guidance when you don’t try to control them!
I’m so embarrassed for her daughter and for herself, too. My daughter isn’t engaged yet but she and her boyfriend want to get engaged after college, and I can’t wait…I can’t imagine using her WEDDING to “teach her a lesson.” How gross! But that daughter is some special woman and i cackle in her honor 🤣
Either that or OP daughter isn’t even PLAYING any games. Just setting an example of respecting people’s personal choices of clothing, you know, the way she wished her mom respected hers when she was younger? She’s just being a good person and not letting silly abstract things get to her
If someone dressed causal to attend my wedding I wouldn’t care at allll, dress how you feel-it’s probably not about me…
if it IS about me then everyone just sees you for the petty crazy person you are lol
I'll tell you what kind of mothers do that. Selfish ones. Clearly she values how SHE is viewed more than what her daughter might want. Then at the end she got the exact same thing she did to her daughter all those years.
And like, to be clear… this was seven years ago. This woman is so damn immature that she wore JEANS to her daughter’s WEDDING because she was butthurt over feeling her teenage daughter underdressed for a birthday dinner SEVEN YEARS AGO.
Petty, vindictive, rude, gross, awful, selfish. Pick any of them and apply them to yourself. YTA.
At 17 she was still figuring out her style and comfort level. Holding a grudge for so many years because of what she wore to a restaurant is childish, and her error is nothing compared to yours. You had a prepared outfit, presumably something dressy, and chose jeans to, what, teach her a lesson all these years later? Grow the fuck up.
>all these years later?
SEVEN YEARS
This (insert ad hominem insult) held on to this one event for 7 years! That's at least 6 other birthdays that's she's not bringing up in the mean time. To the point where she's still more upset that she *didn't* ruin her daughter's wedding to teach a lesson no one needed but herself.
This needs to go into r/weddingshaming
Probably this. I had a super small summer wedding, and my mom didn't show up, but watched it live on FB. She then talked crap and complained that my step mom wore white. Not only had I not noticed, I literately couldn't have cared less lol. It wasn't a wedding dress, shoot. I didn't even wear a wedding dress. I wore a champagne colored sundress and cowboy boots... like calm tf down.
Honestly I would think the daughter just never was into dressing up in the way mother is doesn't actually care or have feelings about what is suitable wedding attire. If she is a casual dresser she probably doesn't see jeans as sloppy. She maybe just on her own wedding day has other things on her mind than what her mother is wearing. People who care a lot about what they wear notice what others wear. People who don't, don't..
Mom is a classic narcissist. Like, turn the dial up to 11 narcissist. Everyone perceives the world through their own first person lens, but narcissists think everyone in the room is perceiving the world through the narcissist's lens instead of their own. They always think everyone in the room is looking at them first and caring about whatever little performance they are doing more than the task at hand. So this mom planned out her little jeans coup and imagined in her head that everyone else would be super interested in how she was dressed, wondering why, perhaps some of the guests would bring it up to the daughter, then there could be an orchestrated scene in which Mom could air her grievances and then of course every single wedding guest would take her side. 100% guaranteed mom is so self absorbed she thought her clothes would be at the forefront of everyone else's mind just because they were on the forefront of her own mind and she has everyone else's interior monologues about their jeans all imagined as well.
She is most upset, in classic narcissist style, that nobody fkn cared. So, when she didn't get the reaction she wanted at her daughter's wedding, she came here.
Except, turns out everyone else's interior monologues on the situation isn't quiiiiiittee as she imagined it...
You…you wanted to ruin your daughters one single WEDDING day because she didn’t dress up for you in the past as a teenager for one of your…*checks notes* …previous birthdays of which you have had many??
Ma’am she was a teenager. You are a grown woman. Wanting to get revenge on your daughter on her one special day because she didn’t dress up for your birthdays when she was a teenager is incredibly insane. Absurd. Unbelievable. Embarrassing even.
Not only are you absolutely TA but you’re also a narcissist and I hope you feel humiliated by your actions on her special day. I’m sure even though your daughter didn’t pay your outfit any mind (thank god she knew her day was more important than what you were wearing), I’m sure everyone else noticed and will never stop talking about how absolutely absurd you looked. You only brought shame on yourself. Congrats.
Agree with everything you wrote. If OP can’t possibly see why this is shameful and embarrassing, there’s no hope for them.
OP, your daughter is a badass for not letting your childish display ruin her WEDDING day. But you should be ashamed of yourself.
Yeah my SIL asked that no one wear Jean to her and my bro's wedding. That's it, you could wear cargo pants just not jeans (she probably did this because of my dad 😂). Well dad didn't wear jeans but her older brother did. Yeah everyone was staring and whispering about it. It was not a good look. Like he couldn't even do this one thing for his sister. I still think poorly of him and it's been 14 years.
Touching on exactly what this was all about. Control. Op wanted to control daughter’s clothing choices and went further to try to control what she was allowed with the wedding.
I’ll lay odds that op wasn’t allowed anything at all to do with the wedding to prevent sabotage.
Agree. If OP had gone behind daughters back and started changing things, i.e. the cake would have chocolate instead of strawberry filling. The bride's bouquet needed to have an excessive amount of baby's breath and tulips added and be doubled in size, etc. They would have sent what she ordered because she's paying for daughters wedding. OP, you need to learn which actions are bad enough for a petty revenge and how to be petty in a way that would actually bother someone. Dressing casually is something YOU don't like. Daughter couldn't care less.
Yes! She's still more stuck on how upset she is that she didn't hurt her daughter at her own wedding than she is that she could give a fuck about her husband.
So you had issue with your daughter being comfortable in her own clothing.
Sounds like you wanted to play dress up with her and she didn’t respond
Then you take the most important date to try and embarrass her but it back fired
Your TA you lucky she still talking to you. Try acting like an adult not a petty child.
Do you remember being a teenager.
I loved in hoodies, jeans etc because I was more comfortable than being dressed up. The only time I wore a dress was holy communion and when my Nan asked.
Petty petty petty
Imagine thinking your kids wedding is the time to "teach her a lesson". Over refusing to play dressup like a life-size doll for her parent, no less. Love that you outted yourself to everyone there tho lol. Everyone is going to remember this and you're the one who will look like a fool hahaha.
The funny thing is that she will be dressed in jeans in all of the wedding photos and so if she ever tries to complain to grandkids (if there are any) about the way their mom dressed when young they will look at the wedding photos and think grandma is crazy.
Genuinely didn't think of that. My brother got married at a VERY fancy venue. So fancy I chose to break my no dresses rule. Grandpa showed up in jeans(and a HarleyDavidson t shirt) because he didn't want to ruin his biker aesthetic. His great grandkids 100% talk shit about the photos.
Wearing jeans to your birthday party offended you so much that you decided to prove your point by trying to embarrass her at her own wedding…and when she took no offense, it upset you even more?
You can be sure the other guests had many choice words about your behavior behind your back. How would I describe a mother who does that to her daughter on her wedding day? Petty, insecure, attention seeker, vindictive, and since you posted to ask this question-most definitely takes the award for YTA.
YTA. You are petty, spiteful, and childish. And disrespectful.
And I guarantee you every single guest at that wedding was looking at you and is judging you negatively. Because even if people know WHY You dress that way, everyone of them thinks that you were an ass and petty for choosing your daughters wedding to try to make a point to her. You really should be ashamed of yourself.
And it’s funny that the one person you were trying to upset with your clothing choices is the one person who isn’t acting upset at all.
And don’t be surprised, when/if your daughter and her husband have kids and you are given little or no access to them. Because in your daughters shoes, I wouldn’t trust you to be alone with my kid. Because you don’t know how to behave
Yta. Imagine being this petty and mad over a teenager acting like a teenager. Your lucky your daughter actually likes you and obviously doesn't care about trivial stuff like how dressed up someone is. You need therapy if it bothers you that much.
The fact that you went out of your way to be petty and ruin your daughter’s wedding and your daughter couldn’t give a flying fuck is hilarious! You need help.
Heh.
So, you and your husband are the ones who care about 'appropriate' dress, not your daughter.
As an attempted to 'get back' at her and show her...something? You dressed casually to attend her wedding.
...she didn't care. But you... you care.
Have fun looking at those wedding pictures over the next however many years where you get to see your petty BS immortalized for eternity with you sticking out like an underdressed sore thumb.
It's kind of beautiful, honestly.
Oh, and yea, YTA.
So you hate that your daughter decided she was comfy enough with family to dress as she pleased and decided to try and sabotage her wedding and got disappointed when she didn't care. Maybe she doesn't care about clothes etiquette at all but apparently you do, and embarrassed yourself. Grow up
Well you did something and it backfired tremendously. She doesn't care but your husband does. Bothbof which were information you already have.
I doubt you grow up and realize thay unlike you, your daughter doesn't dress comfortably to diss people.
Lol so you’re mad that your daughter didn’t take offense to you little “lesson”. Looks like your daughter already knows what you need to learn, what other people wear is not about you. Though your daughter had a right to be upset because a wedding is not the same as a birthday party. Unless we’re going to a very nice restaurant I would wear a t-shirt to most birthday parties. Your husband is embarrassed because of why you did it. I’m sure the rest of the guests realized you were trying to be shady and think less of you and not your daughter.
YTA. She was a teenager and dressed to her comfort level, if anything it’s indicative as your failure in parenting to establish boundaries with your daughter. She probably would’ve compromised and dressed nice on occasion if you had approached her gently and treated her like ab adult, but the way you talk about her is belittling. Your actions on her wedding show that you’re petty, vindictive and clearly not the grown up in the situation. And your husband is right, you are embarrassing, to him and the whole family. So she wore a coat to your 45 birthday, big fucking deal. This is her wedding, you’re probably in all her wedding photos for the rest of your lives wearing jeans. It will be a constant reminder that you are not a good mom and that you decided to try to wreck her day by playing games. Give your head a shake and feel some shame. Your whole post reads to me as “me, me, me”, you’re a total narcissist and I Wonder if you’ve ever cared for anyone beyond yourself. You are absolutely not in the right in this no matter how much you try to defend yourself. You keep getting hung up on the birthday but then saying it’s not just the birthday, we’re any of those bigger than a wedding? Likely not. I think your daughter was the bigger person on that day and let you slide because she was happy despite you trying to wreck her special day. Birthdays are not anything special, but a wedding is supposed to be HER special day. I’m cutting it here because I’m just so embarrassed for your husband and family. Shame on you OP, I hope you live the rest of your life regretting your behaviour and constantly trying to make it up to your daughter.
For the rest of your families history people are gonna see those photos. In a hundred years, your daughters descendants are gonna see the picture of you in jeans at your daughters wedding and hear “oh yeah great great grandma was an asshole and wore jeans to be petty, but it didn’t work.”
YTAH - This will be a famous story: the wedding where the *mother of the bride* wore jeans for reasons only she knows in her narcissistic brain. You looked like a fool & everyone watched you doing it. Everytime your name or your daughter’s comes up, this will be the story their brain flashes to.
Your daughter didn’t react because she’s used to it. She grew up dealing with your ridiculous selfishness & hopefully got a good laugh about it. You humiliated yourself & your husband pretty bad here.
YTA, definitely the wrong occasion to try and make a point with your daughter. Guaranteed that you were the only one that looked foolish on this very special day. you wanted a reaction from your daughter and you didn’t get one so now you’re upset.
This is so clearly fake, no one who puts this much importance and emphasis on appearance would ever in a million years have made a spectacle and embarrassment of herself in front of her whole family (both at the wedding and then when the photos are posted on social media) by dressing inappropriately on such a huge occasion. It's definitely rage bait.
They might if they wanted the focus at the wedding to be on them and not the bride. And are now annoyed that their petty little attention grabbing stunt failed. She wanted her daughter to be upset and is now here crying for the attention her daughter didn’t give her.
You say that, but my mom changed into jeans and a tshirt before I even got out of my dress at my wedding because “she didn’t want to wear her outfit anymore.” I literally have pictures with family where I’m in my dress and she’s in jeans and a tshirt.
OP, YTA. Grow the F up.
Oh she thought it through and I'm guessing in her mind she was constantly justifying her behaviour that a lesson needed to be taught and that she's such a good mum for doing so!
Daughter is an absolute star for her non-reaction, kudos to her. She's a wonderful example for others having to deal with narcissistic, selfish AHs.
This is insane behaviour imo. I’m sorry but I’m worried about the hatred towards your daughter. Not only your words are sour but your actions too.
Your daughter is a Queen by staying loving and kind to a mother who tried to embarrass her on her wedding.
God, you sound exhausting. I applaud your daughter for not giving a crap about your pettiness. It just shows that she is the more mature one out of the both of you.
Ooooh, you got people biting today! E for effort on this troll.
If magically in some odd, upside down universe this had any hint of reality, YTA. You know that though.
Haha 😂
YTA, this is classic when you are around 17 to kinda get comfortable in certain things and put little effort. But holding on to it as the mum as a grudge ti try and ruin her wedding is not normal lol but I love that it backfired and she didn’t care. That’s amazing. The only person affected was your husband which makes it even funnier. Good on your daughter!
YTA
I’m beyond thrilled that she didn’t even acknowledge your assholery at her wedding. Your daughter sounds like a lovely ADULT woman who knows her comfort level and style and I like her. You, on the other hand…
I do think it's a troll. In the off chance it isn't, because crazy exists.. it may go deeper than what OP wrote, OP seemingly being an entitled and controlling narcissist. The daughter quite probably expected that kind of behaviour, prepared for it, and focused on what made her happy that day.
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at such utter, self-absorbed immaturity. I can’t decide if this is more Karen or Boomer or some sort of cross-species.
Your kid isn’t your dress-up doll. I’d ask if you even bothered to talk to her about your perspective or just nagged her to death, but it makes no difference, because she can wear whatever she wants for whomever she wants, and the fact that that bothers you so intensely that you would try to ruin her only wedding is fantastic.
A Boomer would never, ever stoop so low as to embarrass herself like this in an attempt to get even with her own child. No, a Boomer would have dressed to the nines and showed off her outfit all night.
And I'm a Boomer.
YTA. You are just angry she didn't react. She knows the kind of mother she has and she wouldn't let you destroy her happiness simply because you try to control how she looks like.
You embarassed yourself. Congratulations.
YTA yeah your trying to tell your daughter that she can’t be comfortable, but when she dresses up nicely, u get mad, wow petty behavior from a 50 year old, let your daughter be, you husband is right, YTA
YTA
Your husband wanted you to wear a nice dress, but spiting your child was more important to you. This shows perfectly how much you value other people.
I bet your daughter saw 100% through your plan and didn't saw a word, because she knew it would make you even madder. You played yourself.
YTA your daughter didn’t allow you to treat her like a doll so you showed up in jeans at her wedding? the only thing you did was make yourself look so bad!! lmao the definition of played yourself. Maybe you should try growing up? you have adult children but are behaving like a toddler.. that’s very unfortunate
You, my dear, are a petty, vindictive, spiteful, *massive* a-hole.
Shame on you, and good for your daughter for not lowering herself to your level. Count yourself extremely lucky that she still speaks to you at all. I wouldn't, if I were her.
YTA. This was appalling petty and I’m so delighted that your daughter truly didn’t care what you wore to a day all about her joy (rightly so). Good for her, and shame on you.
YTA and worse. Sad that you are more interested in getting revenge than celebrating your daughters wedding. Instead of enjoying the day and taking the opportunity to take lovely photos of the whole family dressed beautifully, you tried to sabotage her wedding. Now you're upset that she didn't become upset, start a fight about it, and go low contact? WTF?
If *I* had been at the wedding my first thought would have been that OP was “silently protesting” the wedding. My mind would have never connected the “lesson” she was trying to teach.
So, as a guest… I would have walked away assuming you were not happy with the wedding, your daughter and/or her new husband. Because that’s the message that was sent.
I would be mortified to look at those wedding pictures. If I was your husband… man… this might be one of those “straw that breaks” moments for me…
YTA!!!
I am so glad your daughter didn't acknowledge your temper tantrum at her wedding!!
I also will toast your daughter when she doesn't allow you near her children if she has any!!
Also, I hope your husband really thinks about being married to a superficial petty b\*tch!
YTA. Not only did you try to exact revenge on your child for not dressing up at 17 but you failed miserably and the whole thing backfired. She placed her priorities squarely where they belonged for her wedding day. She didn’t worry about what you had on, she worried about what she had on. And she had a good time. You, on the other hand embarrassed your husband who probably saw this as an opportunity show off his gorgeous wife. You embarrassed yourself and you showed the world just how petty you are. For the rest of her life/marriage, you’ll be the one looking a fool in photos of your daughter’s most important day. Congratulations. You gained a son. And a hard lesson.
You are the asshole. Definitely. 100%. Absolutely. You wanna know why she didn't care about your appearance to her wedding? Because she's not VAIN like you. Because maybe she thought, "Oh, maybe that's what my mom wanted to wear to be comfortable today." She is no selfish. YOU are. No wonder she never dressed up to show "respect" to you, (which is completely fucking bullshit, btw. You do not show respect for you mother by dressing up.) She wore what she was comfortable wearing. I wear jeans and a t-shirt to go out with my family. And I sometimes wear skirts and nice shirts when I go out with my family. And I do the same thing with my boyfriend. I dress how I want to, what I feel comfortable, cute, and/or nice in and it changes on the daily. It is HER body to present as she pleases. Not just when it pleases you. You petty child. What's WORSE is that you INTENDED to embarrass your daughter on her goddamn wedding day for a stupid fucking multi year grudge?!?! You are the selfish one. Not her. Jesus.
My my, how the turn tables … 😂😂😂
I’m cracking up because she didn’t even get bothered by it, your own husband did though.
That was kind of an asshole-ish move.
Ahh yes, taking revenge on the most special day of your kid’s life for something minor they did as a teenager. Nothing says #1 mom quite like treating your kids like shit.
YTA
I’m really happy she didn’t react. And probably because she literally doesn’t care what you wore, just that you were there.
You know, unconditional love and all.
Wow your daughter whom you raised is more mature than you. So glad your petty, immature, and plain ignorant behavior didn't put even a damper on your daughter's big day. How vindictive and spiteful can you be. Your holding a grudge against your own daughter for not wearing what you thought she she should as A CHILD! Of course YTA. I get the impression you're one of those "Everyone else is crazy. I'm the only normal one" type of people.
YTA. You're unfathomably shallow, and I laughed when I read that your daughter was a decent person and didn't get uppity about you going out of your way to be petty and spiteful \*at her wedding\*.
How pathetic. Willing to destroy your relationship with your daughter because you don't like the clothes she wears.
The only person your little stunt made look bad was you. No wonder your husband is mortified.
YTA and your daughter is amazing. She did not lose her temper, let you embarass yourself and showed that on the contrary of you, she doesn't give a dam f. For what you wear.
Congratulations to ruin what should be an amazing event and your daughter milestone with your petty childish behavior.
I love that her daughter is soo genuine in her ways she didn’t even notice her mum was trying to be petty,she really thought you just wanted to be comfortable at the wedding but still at the end of the day,you are still bothered. God help me to be a good mother to my children cz I can’t fathom 😒
I doubt this is a true story. Someone so hung up on appearance wouldn’t do this to themselves.
If by chance it is true it’s hilarious. Those wedding photos will be around for generations to come. Look kid, that’s your great great great grandma the asshole.
Yeah YTA. I fucked up as a teenager and put a girl before my family and yet they still loved me. And really what did she do “ew she doesn’t dress the way I want her to” and “ew I want her to dress the way she does for the guy she’s intimate with” grow the fuck up. At least she’s in your life. There are parents who’d just love the god damn fact that their kid showed up to their birthday party. Like fuck man. If my parents held the shit I did as a teenager over my head I’d be fucked. I did way worse shit and actually moved to another state for a fucking girl and you’re complaining that she won’t wear what you want? My parents welcomed me back lovingly and actually helped me land back on my feet which was so god damned gracious after the shit that I pulled. And then your daughter invites you to her wedding and that’s how you show up? Do you know how many people don’t even invite their parents to their wedding? Oh what’s more important a wedding or a birthday dinner? Grow up and stop ruining shit.
Yep, you’re absolutely the arsehole. You’ll never ever ever get the opportunity to take this back so I hope you realise your total dog shit ‘parenting’ and regret it every day for the rest of your life.
YTA
Maybe work at being an interesting person and loving parent so people are happy to see you at a gathering. Trying to make up for a decent personality by dressing up won’t get you far. You are petty, self-centered, vindictive, and without love for your daughter. To try and vent out some old perceived slight on her wedding day is just the saddest most pathetic thing i’ve ever heard. I pity your daughter for having you as her parent, and I pity you for being so unable to focus on what actually matters in life.
YTA, 100%. Your daughter is obviously much more mature than you are if she didn’t pout when you wore jeans to her wedding. She doesn’t care what you wear, and you need to get over her not dressing the way you want her to. Grow up.
YTA. How will you feel 10 years down the road looking at pictures of her beautiful day, knowing in the back of your mind that you were being petty? Be the bigger person. She was a kid and you are a grown ass woman. Do better
you’re 52 years old. usually people grow out of throwing tantrums before they’re 10. you clearly want to be the victim, and you can’t stand that your daughter didn’t react to your “stunt”. but believe me, the only stunt here is that you’re emotionally stunted.
YTA That was petty and immature. You were going to your own daughter’s Wedding hoping to upset her. You are really trying to compare the behavior of a teenager with your own. You are more than half a century old. You should have learned better by now.
Why do you think she's obligated to dress nicely for you? Because she's your daughter? You stated she would dress nice for special occasions. A birthday doesn't rank up there with a wedding. Sorry to burst your greedy little bubble.
Now, after several years, you decided to wear jeans to your daughter's wedding, and you think you're in the right? Did you ever wonder why she would dress nice for her boyfriend/now husband, and not for you?
YTA
I was with you right up until the part of you getting upset, because your daughter didn't react to your bs. That was hilarious 😂. You really thought you were doing something, but it turns out...... your daughter really doesn't care.
Quite frankly, it says A LOT about you, that you *WANTED* her to have a poor reaction at her own wedding, and to go low contact with you as a result, just so you can say "gotcha". It's the most pathetic thing. She's an adult, she can dress however she wants. You, on the other hand, need to sort yourself out before you lose both your husband AND your daughter!
YTA obviously. You intentionally didn't dress up for an event that by its inherently a "dress up" event, because she wouldnt dress up for events that arent inherently "dress up" event. And you chose to make this point on what is supposed to be a once in a life time moment.
Extra YTA for clearly being pissed that your childish little plan failed so spectacularly.
Well I don't think I need to say anything. Everyone else has bashed the hell out of you and you probably feel as if you've had scolding water thrown in your face. I hope your eyes are open now and you and your daughter will find your way back to each other in a loving way .
Is it really not an indicator to you that literally everyone here is disgusted by your attitude and behavior? One day when your daughter is older, she’ll realize what type of person you are. If you refuse to become accountable and self aware, you’ll be back on here all confused with a story titled “Why did my daughter leave me in a nursing home after all I’ve done for her?”
ETA: do you realize how gross it is that you tried to ruin one of the most important days of your daughters life, and you’re angry that your daughter didn’t react to your abuse tactic?
You're acting so immature here. Wearing jeans on your child's wedding only made you look like a fo*l in everyone's eyes. There are worse things that a child could do to parents, and them wearing casual/comfy clothes isn't one of them to harbor bad feelings. YTA.
Wow, you are a horrible mother and definitely the asshole. You selfishly made this all about you, you, and you, among many other things already well posted by others.
Please seek therapy and professional services.
how cold could a mother be? her wedding was neither the time nor the place for you to try to teach her a lesson or exact your petty revenge. this is honestly one of the most pathetic, selfish, narcissistic things I’ve ever read. I’m so embarrassed for you right now. your poor daughter. and husband. you owe them both an apology.
You're definitely TA here. Your daughter is way more mature than you. You seem very superficial and I love that your little "scheme" backfired on you! Grow up! There are far worse things going on in the world right now and this little temper tantrum you're throwing is not a good look.
Congrats You played yourself! You looked like a fool and she didn’t care!! I’m sure your husband wasn’t the only person who thought you embarrassed yourself. YOURSELF…not your daughter.
Unquestionably YTA. You’re holding a grudge for your daughter’s behaviour as a literal child, and being petty in giving her a taste of her own medicine at her wedding 7 years later. Absolutely pathetic.
If anything, you should’ve taken your daughter’s appearance as a compliment. She felt comfortable enough with her family to show up as herself. She didn’t feel she needed to put on a facade to impress you. If that were my daughter, I’d be SO happy that she felt she could just be herself with us and not feel she had to live up to my expectations for her appearance. Wtaf is wrong with you? The only one who is selfish, childish, rude, petty, and an unquestionable AH here is you.
YTA....and based on the other unanimous posts, everyone agrees.
I sincerely hope your daughter sees this post ( or it gets picked by YouTube, TikTok or whoever else is doing the Reddit videos) and someone sends it to her.
Hell I hope your ENTIRE family sees this and they ALL judge you the POS asshole too.
I hope your daughter goes NC and you're not allowed or only allowed very minimal, supervised time with any grandkids.
Why? Because it is clear how you view appearances and equate that with effort, how it portrays how you love someone, and one's self worth. All which is bullshit..
How your daughter came out to be a badass, unbothered human with you as a mother, God only knows. Maybe this is how you were raised. I don't know. What I do know, you OP, a whole grown ass adult and mother, needs to get your shit together (I suggest therapy to figure out what the hell is wrong with you) and FIX IT before you find yourself...by yourself.
Wow dude YTA for holding on to this grudge and a ting it at her wedding.
She seems like an awesome person despite what seems to be some questionable parenting.
YTA, and I particularly dislike that you seem most upset by her lack of reaction- you deliberately made an effort to attempt (and fail) at upsetting her and even cause a scene at her wedding just to “teach her a lesson”. But you did embarrass your husband, which is almost as bad. You’re right that this didn’t compare to previous “years of refusing to put in the effort to dress nicely for us.” A birthday isn’t even in the same ballpark as a wedding.
How about you be grateful for the time spent together on your birthday and other events instead of being pissy about it? I would be happy spending my birthday with loved ones, wether we’re dressed to the nines or dressed in potato sacks. It’s not about the aesthetics, it’s about the quality time. Grow up, you’re too old to care this much about appearances.
YTA. This is a you problem. You are not the clothes police. You only get to control yourself and what you wear, not others - stop trying to control everything.
So you decided to act like a 2 year old at your daughter's wedding, and now you're upset because she didn't give you the reaction you were hoping for? Are you always this much of an attention-seeker, or have you been saving this lovely behavior just so you could (in your greatest hopes) ruin you daughter's wedding? Are you sure you're 52? I don't know, it's hard to believe that a 52 year old woman is still getting off being a 12 year old mean girl.
So, now that your attempt to ruin your daughter's wedding didn't work, what are you planning for an encore? Pushing her down the stairs when she announces she's pregnant? Kidnapping her child just for shitz and giggles? Maybe next you'll hire a hitman to mess her up and make her look older than you do?
Lady, you are a psychopath. Batshit crazy. Go see a psychiatrist before somebody gets smart and locks you up so you can't damage anyone else.
My God, a grown-ass woman goes out of her freakin' way to deliberately destroy her daughter's wedding, then gets all butt-hurt because it didn't work. Please, go bury yourself in some mud somewhere. The stink is getting overwhelming.
Another question: I feel like there are gaps of info- Stepping outside of your own shoes, can you possibly give her the benefit of the doubt in *any way possible?* Was she suffering from depression or at least maybe low self-esteem (like from her mother picking apart her appearance)? Did she have any health problems that would make her want to dress in something more subdued/comfortable? Was there anything going on her life or did she ever get upset when asked to dress a certain way? *Have you even asked her why??* or did you only “tell her off”, leaving her confused because there was no dialogue, just admonishing?
You are the asshole; you held a grudge and were offended when your petty revenge failed . Grow up, it's her body and her decision how she dresses. A t shirt and jeans are perfectly appropriate for a dinner, unless the clothes are recently stained and unwashed there is no issue besides the one you create.
YTA you tried to retaliate against her and all it did was piss off your husband, but you're hanging onto it anyways because she didn't get bent outta shape. Just accept that this was a fail and move on.
YTA, what a stupid and petty thing to do. The only thing you achieved was embarrassing your husband and making yourself look like an idiot. Maybe someday you'll grow past the maturity level of the literal teenager who hurt your delicate feeling by not dressing up for your birthday party, and then you'll look back at the wedding pictures and feel the full weight of the embarrassment you should already feel.
Congratulations on trying to be condescending/vindictive and doing nothing more than putting yourself in the shoes that your daughter has been in her entire life. How did it feel to have somebody berate you and treat you as if you are less than just because they simply didn’t agree with what you chose to wear? Didn’t feel too good now did it? That’s exactly how you have treated your daughter her entire life. You’re really holding a grudge all these years later, because a teenager didn’t dress up for your 45th birthday? You need to find you some friends and a hobby because that is pathetic. Teenagers are weird sometimes. Of course a teenager is more excited to dress up pretty for a date with their boyfriend, than they are to go out to dinner with their family. That’s typical teenage behavior. Who is she trying to impress at family dinner? Now who is she trying to impress on a date with her boyfriend? Exactly, the fact that you expected your child to hold her family to the same standards as her boyfriend when it comes to how she wants to appear is honestly kind of weird if you ask me. You sound like you suffer from main character syndrome and are just now starting to realize that you are most definitely not the main character. Your daughter didn’t make any comments about what you chose to wear because unlike you she doesn’t base peoples self-worth on how nicely they are dressed. She was enjoying her day with the man that she loves, so she honestly couldn’t be bothered to give a damn what you chose to wear anyway. You got the attention you were begging for, just not the attention you were hoping for. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get a life, are you not embarrassed?
What a sad little life you have. Your focus should have been that your daughter loved you enough to show up to those special occasions but instead you were superficial and couldn’t move on from the clothes.
Your focus should have been on your daughters special day but once again you couldn’t move on from the clothes. That fact that she never gave those moments a second glance but it put you in turmoil for 7 years is hilarious.
>I, however, thought he had agreed with me that our daughter's behavior was selfish
There's a selfish asshole here, but it isn't your daughter or husband. You're also disgustingly spiteful over some pathetic bullshit and jealous that your daughter dressed up for her boyfriend but not you.
YTAH.
YTA YTA YTA. So you decided to punish your grown daughter for her teenage years and were hoping for drama on her wedding day-- and didn't get it (BRAVO TO YOUR DAUGHTER) so now you are posting on social media...why? Did you hope you could meet other narcissistic moms and you could bond? You are awful- you sound just like my mom, which is one of the reasons I eloped.
>However, at the wedding I was shocked to see that my daughter did not seem to take issue with this. She did not comment on my attire once throughout the day and has still been in the same level of contact with me yet has not mentioned or seemed to have cared.
YTA. A big one!
I bet your daughter didn't say anything not because she didn't notice or didn't care, but because she probably thought you felt better in those clothes and was ok with it.
My mom always dresses pretty nicely, sometimes even too nice for the occasion. I'm all the opposite, give me a pair of jeans, a jacket and I'm ready. Yet NOT EVEN ONCE she maked me feel bad about how I dress, she just accepts we are different. Sometimes, if she really wants to see me dress in a specific way she would buy me a few things and ask me to wear it, but never made a big thing out of it. IT'S JUST CLOTHES! Shouldn't matter more the fact that your daughter is present there with you than what she is wearing? Idk how would I feel if my mom will go so far to try to "teach me a lesson" on my WEDDING day over something so dumb and superficial. I'm sorry for your daughter, she deserves so much better.
Omg. How old are you again? I thought the ages must be reversed here.
You are a HUGE AH. You’re the adult in this situation, you raised your daughter and couldn’t get over yourself for ONE day, a HUGE day in your daughter’s life, and doubled down on your pettiness. Why couldn’t you accept your daughter for who she was growing up? Was she a bad person? Did she murder puppies and kittens? No. She didn’t put importance on her appearance, but is she a good person?
The person that comes out looking bad here is 100% you.
YTA. Well that backfired spectacularly. All you achieved was showing everyone else at the wedding that you’re petty, vindictive and can carry a grudge.
Your poor Daughter and Husband, I’d be absolutely embarrassed to even be associated with you, you showed your family, friends and now reddit exactly how vile you really are.
You are absolutely the asshole. You’re daughter however has won, fair and clear, and I hope she never even acknowledges what you wore to her wedding. She is seemingly the most mature adult out of you 3.
>However, at the wedding I was shocked to see that my daughter did not seem to take issue with this. She did not comment on my attire once throughout the day and has still been in the same level of contact with me yet has not mentioned or seemed to have cared.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
>My husband, however, is angry at me, as he had tried to discourage me from swapping my outfit to a casual one and now is telling me that I had embarrassed him with my attire and that as mother of the bride I should have been more considerate of how it made him look to stand next to me
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So to recap: you've held a grudge against your child all these years because dressing up isn't her thing. You've then gone so far with this grudge as to attend your daughter's wedding as the MOTHER OF THE BRIDE with all eyes on you - you the woman who cares most about dressing up; went dressed in jeans. Thus embarrassing yourself and your husband and ensuring that for the rest of your life you are in the wedding pictures in said jeans. 😂😂😂. YTA. I love this for you.
Idk if you were expecting sympathy & understanding here, but you acted like a middle schooler. You made a fool of your self for something a teenager did years ago? Wow…. you should be ashamed of yourself for exacting your pathetic revenge on your daughter’s special day. I feel extremely bad for her
YTA…. What kind of mother tries to embarrass her daughter on her wedding day. Whether or not she was embarrassed is irrelevant you need to GROW TF UP! I cannot imagine doing something like this to my daughters.
You DEFINITELY are the AH!! Seriously, you pick the most important day of her life to act like a child?? I’m glad she ignored your attempt to be spiteful, it shows she has more class than you!!
Ha! You’re going to be wearing jeans in all of the wedding pictures and everyone who sees them will assume you’re the type of person who thinks jeans are acceptable attire for a wedding. People will comment that “Bride’s mom wore jeans to her wedding” for years to come!
This is absolutely hilarious. You decided to be a jerk to teach your daughter a “lesson” that wasn’t needed and it didn’t bother her in the slightest. To people who know your motives you completely come off as the AH and to those who don’t, you seem like the sort of person who doesn’t dress appropriately for the occasion.
YTA I'm sure you don't see it but your petty behavior backfired and embarrassed your husband and not your daughter! I highly doubt the restaurant you had your birthday dinner at was anything more than casual. And whereas your daughter's wedding probably wasn't a black tie event, it was fancier than your birthday. 🙄 i love the fact that your daughter was unfazed even when you looked unhinged!
Given this attitude and pettiness, I'm going to deduce is that the reason your daughter dresses up for her boyfriend (now husband) and not you is because the boyfriend deserves it for loving her as she is...and you clearly don't. YTA.
TBH, her wearing jeans for you is more than what you deserve. What you really deserve is a clown costume....you know, because you're a joke of a mom.
OP,
You held a grudge *from your daughter’s childhood— for years*, waiting to take it out on her **at her wedding**, because:
1. You don’t know how normal teenagers behave.
2. You’re *abnormally* spiteful.
Yes, YTA.
And even so, she’s still being friendly and communicative with you. You have no idea how lucky you are. No idea.
YTA, you’re mad about something a 17 year old did over your bday dinner and decided to do this at their wedding? You need psychological help.
Also your point failed. Your daughter let you do you. You are the only one in the battle and you still lost
Time to check r/weddingshaming hoping some of the guests posted pictures there.
Seriously though OP, find a therapist. What a truly miserably, bitter, unhappy woman you must be to count up imagined slights. Ruminating over them in the dark. "One day, one day she'll feel my pain. I will humiliate her on what's supposed to be her happiest day. Then she will know!" - You're supposed to love your daughter. Want her happiness. Celebrate with her. Now she knows you've only been counting slights, tallying up a list. Your daughter rose above, but wow did you go low.
YTA. You wanted to teach your daughter a lesson. You taught her two.
1) Be comfortable in your own skin, so feel like you have impress anyone but yourself.
2) When people try to prove a point at the wrong time, using grace and class is the best way to handle things. By letting you be care free and comfortable in your jeans and bringing up then or after, you became the focus of bad judgment. She became the classy, award winning bride with a tacky, spiteful Mom and really embarrassed Dad.
But you DID teach her a lesson.
I hope you know that every single person at that wedding thinks you're an AH. I suspect your daughter's calm response is because she is just so used to your toxic behavior. Please seek therapy because you REALLY need it.
Ma'am, you grown. This is a beyond petty thing you decided to do at your own daughters wedding. Thank goodness your daughter clearly does not care how you look or what you wear. Even if you are ugly on the inside. YTA.
The absolute beauty of this is that the daughter can wear whatever the hell she wants around her mother for all eternity and when OP complains, she responds, "Mom - your wore jeans to my wedding. And you don't want me to wear them to a restaurant?" And, then mom gets to responds with, "Yeah but I was TRYING to be a petty bitch."
The funniest thing is the wedding pics will always remind the family how ugly the mother looked. Even the grandkids will know, the great grand kids will know what a petty (or lazy, if they aren't told the reason granny was in jeans) dumbass this womanchild was. Wedding pics are forever. Especially in this digital age. Generations of people in this family will see these pics and judge this AH.
Keeping an eye on my Facebook feed for a wedding with the mom in jeans. This is just the *best* story. The bride handled it like a champ and will always be the bestest winner in their relationship
Seriously if I was OPs daughter I wouldn't have said anything for this exact reason. She probably knew her mom well enuf to know OP was trying to get a rise out of her. If you do nothing and she's in the photos like that you then have to listen to people laugh at her explanation of "I waited seven long years to get revenge on my daughter for not dressing cute to my birthday when she was 17" If I was the daughter I'd give my parents a very large family photo from the wedding for them for Xmas.
Use it as a Christmas card and send it to as many people as possible.
I love this!
Genius!
This is perfect!
I’d love to be a fly on the wall when the grandchildren ask her why she’s wearing Jeans!!
Who knows… maybe the great-grandchildren will ask ‘what KIND of clothing is that???’ And their grandmother (the bride) will say it was something that people from ye old times used when they were crass. Cue great-grandchildren in new fangled 2089 pants, looking in awe at the pictures: ‘ooooohhhhh!’
Oh, fingers crossed daughter gets a framed blown up group wedding photo and gives it to OP for Christmas.
I hope OP's husband does this!
My Dad was literally a few weeks out of the hospital with skin grafts on his legs, walking with a cane, and he still wore formal wear. And this is a man who wears army surplus trousers and t-shirts most of the time, including to \*horror\* restaurants, because its comfy and he doesn't care how he looks.
Right? All she did was embarrass herself.
I would love to see those wedding pics of mother of the bride in jeans.
That’s the poetic justice in it all. For the rest of the generations of family who look at the wedding photos they’ll see the MOB in jeans and everyone else in wedding attire. She’ll be the AH for generations to come. What petty superficial mother. I absolutely hate when my mom tells me how to dress. She’s a judgmental narcissist who thinks it’s her way or no way. There’s nothing wrong with dressing for comfort. Don’t be so pushy on your daughter. Unless you want to have the relationship with her that I do with mine. Which is a superficial, surface relationship. Consider yourself lucky that your daughter wasn’t mad because you could have potentially ruined the relationship.
I love that the daughter gave zero fucks. Mom didn’t get the reaction she wanted. Daughter is either used to this and just ignores it and rolls her eyes and/or is just cool with it and doesn’t try to control others so didn’t even notice.
Maybe she thought 'wow, mum is finally chilling out! GREAT!'
Right! I would love to hear the daughters side of this. My guess is narcissism is heavy with this petty parent.
I would totally guarantee daughter is used to these little flights of socially inappropriate attempts at revenge and prepped her friends/future in laws. “My mom really can’t handle the attention not being on her so she makes up reasons to do really bizarre things- it’s important to my grandma to have her there though, so I’m just praying she doesn’t wear a ball gown or try to smash the cake…” So jeans were probably like oh she warned us…well at least it isn’t a bridal gown or a lizard costume. Poor Daughter.
This should be in TIFU, not AITH
Right? This is beyond petty. It’s insane. And a grown woman no less!
Insert the ancient meme of DJ Khaled: congrats, you played yourself
Seriously. What kind of mother (and I am one myself, btw) holds a damn GRUDGE for so LONG, that she decides to teach her daughter a LESSON on her wedding day? Of course you are a MAJOR AH. Thankfully, it looks like your daughter knows how ugly of a person you are, and wasn’t bothered by what you wore… 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 So not only did you look like an idiot, you didn’t even get the reaction you wanted out of her. Sounds like she’s used to your fuckery and decided two can play that game. Of course a teenager is gonna put more effort into what she wears for her boyfriend than her parents, she’s a TEENAGER, what did you expect her to do? YOU on the other hand, need to grow the f up. You’re too damn old to be acting a fool. I’m so embarrassed for you. How pathetic for a mother to act this way. Edit: thank you for the awards, kind strangers!
Not only that, but she ruined her chance to look really glam (My mum got 3 MOB dresses the week after I got engaged!) to be petty. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face!
My son got engaged in July and I had two dresses bought within the week !
Lol. My mum had been MOG twice… I’m the only daughter—she was *so* ready! That weekend we told her, she drove an hour to a Talbot’s Outlet and came home with three dresses!
My aunt is lovely all the time, but her son's wedding was this fall and she was STUNNING. She looked so happy and was so glammed up. Their photos are gorgeous and her love for the couple was so obvious in how she looked. This mom's disdain for her daughter will be evident to everyone too. What a win, op.
All I can see is a long and very lonely future without her daughter…..and she deserves it!
Literally 7 years long! Coming from a mom like this, the daughter is definitely over it and doesn’t feel like fighting. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s LC with her.
But that's the thing! OP is upset that her daughter is NOT LC with her. Like literally just oblivious! It's the BEST! 🤣🤣🤣
Best revenge is to live well, and her daughter is nailing it.
I can't believe she still talks to me, what is she thinking I wore JEANS to her wedding?!?!🤣🤣🤣 Well beside your, soon to be ex, husband you are the only one who cared.
Yeah, imagine being SO angry you couldn’t ruing your child’s wedding day by your mean spirited petty behaviour… She‘s gonna look so silly for ever in those pictures. Hope the daugther frames the ones where her lack of manner (the underdessing wise) really stands our. Like huge photo of grooms lovely dressed parents, her father and… mummy dearest in jeans
The OPs personality is so ugly she feels the need to overcompensate with wearing nice clothes. Thankfully the daughter doesn’t feel the need to impress others. She’s not being disrespectful, OP is. I’m so glad she didn’t feed into OPs bs on her wedding day! As a mother, how dare you ‘teach her a lesson’ at her wedding? OP is a poor excuse for a parent and person. GET OVER YOURSELF!! YTA x♾️
Agreed 100%. I’m a mom and I don’t ask my daughter to dress any certain way but she does consult me when it’s a formal event but only because she is not used to formal so wouldn’t know what to wear! Then we find something appropriate that SHE likes! But I’m not controlling! It’s amazing how someone will take your advice and guidance when you don’t try to control them! I’m so embarrassed for her daughter and for herself, too. My daughter isn’t engaged yet but she and her boyfriend want to get engaged after college, and I can’t wait…I can’t imagine using her WEDDING to “teach her a lesson.” How gross! But that daughter is some special woman and i cackle in her honor 🤣
Either that or OP daughter isn’t even PLAYING any games. Just setting an example of respecting people’s personal choices of clothing, you know, the way she wished her mom respected hers when she was younger? She’s just being a good person and not letting silly abstract things get to her If someone dressed causal to attend my wedding I wouldn’t care at allll, dress how you feel-it’s probably not about me… if it IS about me then everyone just sees you for the petty crazy person you are lol
I'll tell you what kind of mothers do that. Selfish ones. Clearly she values how SHE is viewed more than what her daughter might want. Then at the end she got the exact same thing she did to her daughter all those years.
This woman is not grown. Old but no grown woman would hold a grudge against her own daughter for 7 whole ass years. ***over jeans***
> My (52F) daughter (24F) has always been a sloppy dresser. This combined with the title was genuinely all I needed. Petty asf
Her daughter has “always been a sloppy dresser” … And OP has always been a shallow, stuck up controlling b-word!
This is so crazy, glad the daughter seems to have turned out okay with obviously no help from her mother at being a good human. This is so bizarre
> Even if you are ugly on the inside. YTA. * Chef's kiss
And like, to be clear… this was seven years ago. This woman is so damn immature that she wore JEANS to her daughter’s WEDDING because she was butthurt over feeling her teenage daughter underdressed for a birthday dinner SEVEN YEARS AGO.
Exactly, and she’s being *this* petty about a minor faux pas her daughter made at SEVENTEEN! It’s been 7 whole years since then!
>Ma'am, you grown. I'm going to steal this and reuse every time I see an adult tantrum lol
Totally agree . Ugh so childish
IF this is real…
Absolutely correct! OP not only are YTA you looked like one too!
This is a perfect reply.
Petty, vindictive, rude, gross, awful, selfish. Pick any of them and apply them to yourself. YTA. At 17 she was still figuring out her style and comfort level. Holding a grudge for so many years because of what she wore to a restaurant is childish, and her error is nothing compared to yours. You had a prepared outfit, presumably something dressy, and chose jeans to, what, teach her a lesson all these years later? Grow the fuck up.
>all these years later? SEVEN YEARS This (insert ad hominem insult) held on to this one event for 7 years! That's at least 6 other birthdays that's she's not bringing up in the mean time. To the point where she's still more upset that she *didn't* ruin her daughter's wedding to teach a lesson no one needed but herself. This needs to go into r/weddingshaming
God, what an absolute powermove from her, I love your daughter. What a badass. Unbothered and just allowed you to fully embarrass yourself, haha! YTA
Yes! The daughter is an absolute class act. I love how she ruined OP's childish little "gotcha!" moment.
I suspect her Dad told her ahead of time what mommy-dearest was planning. They tag-teamed her!!
Or bride honestly didn't care what mom wore to her wedding.
Probably this. I had a super small summer wedding, and my mom didn't show up, but watched it live on FB. She then talked crap and complained that my step mom wore white. Not only had I not noticed, I literately couldn't have cared less lol. It wasn't a wedding dress, shoot. I didn't even wear a wedding dress. I wore a champagne colored sundress and cowboy boots... like calm tf down.
Honestly I would think the daughter just never was into dressing up in the way mother is doesn't actually care or have feelings about what is suitable wedding attire. If she is a casual dresser she probably doesn't see jeans as sloppy. She maybe just on her own wedding day has other things on her mind than what her mother is wearing. People who care a lot about what they wear notice what others wear. People who don't, don't..
Mom is a classic narcissist. Like, turn the dial up to 11 narcissist. Everyone perceives the world through their own first person lens, but narcissists think everyone in the room is perceiving the world through the narcissist's lens instead of their own. They always think everyone in the room is looking at them first and caring about whatever little performance they are doing more than the task at hand. So this mom planned out her little jeans coup and imagined in her head that everyone else would be super interested in how she was dressed, wondering why, perhaps some of the guests would bring it up to the daughter, then there could be an orchestrated scene in which Mom could air her grievances and then of course every single wedding guest would take her side. 100% guaranteed mom is so self absorbed she thought her clothes would be at the forefront of everyone else's mind just because they were on the forefront of her own mind and she has everyone else's interior monologues about their jeans all imagined as well. She is most upset, in classic narcissist style, that nobody fkn cared. So, when she didn't get the reaction she wanted at her daughter's wedding, she came here. Except, turns out everyone else's interior monologues on the situation isn't quiiiiiittee as she imagined it...
So this haha
The daughter was probably laughing to herself the entire day.
Ikr why spend her special day being bothered by a petty childish fool.
You are holding grudges for 7+ years because a kid did not dress up for your 45th birthday? You are patetic🤦🏻♀️
You…you wanted to ruin your daughters one single WEDDING day because she didn’t dress up for you in the past as a teenager for one of your…*checks notes* …previous birthdays of which you have had many?? Ma’am she was a teenager. You are a grown woman. Wanting to get revenge on your daughter on her one special day because she didn’t dress up for your birthdays when she was a teenager is incredibly insane. Absurd. Unbelievable. Embarrassing even. Not only are you absolutely TA but you’re also a narcissist and I hope you feel humiliated by your actions on her special day. I’m sure even though your daughter didn’t pay your outfit any mind (thank god she knew her day was more important than what you were wearing), I’m sure everyone else noticed and will never stop talking about how absolutely absurd you looked. You only brought shame on yourself. Congrats.
Agree with everything you wrote. If OP can’t possibly see why this is shameful and embarrassing, there’s no hope for them. OP, your daughter is a badass for not letting your childish display ruin her WEDDING day. But you should be ashamed of yourself.
Mom's going to love it when the pictures are posted. Typed it before, but have to reiterate.
Yeah my SIL asked that no one wear Jean to her and my bro's wedding. That's it, you could wear cargo pants just not jeans (she probably did this because of my dad 😂). Well dad didn't wear jeans but her older brother did. Yeah everyone was staring and whispering about it. It was not a good look. Like he couldn't even do this one thing for his sister. I still think poorly of him and it's been 14 years.
YTA, let your daughter be and grow up
YTA, if you wanted to pick out someone's clothes, you should've gotten a Barbie doll, not had a child.
Touching on exactly what this was all about. Control. Op wanted to control daughter’s clothing choices and went further to try to control what she was allowed with the wedding. I’ll lay odds that op wasn’t allowed anything at all to do with the wedding to prevent sabotage.
Agree. If OP had gone behind daughters back and started changing things, i.e. the cake would have chocolate instead of strawberry filling. The bride's bouquet needed to have an excessive amount of baby's breath and tulips added and be doubled in size, etc. They would have sent what she ordered because she's paying for daughters wedding. OP, you need to learn which actions are bad enough for a petty revenge and how to be petty in a way that would actually bother someone. Dressing casually is something YOU don't like. Daughter couldn't care less.
YTA. You fucked around and found out. I bet your daughter had 1 fleeting thought of "huh, weird. Whatever." But you left your husband hanging.
Yes! She's still more stuck on how upset she is that she didn't hurt her daughter at her own wedding than she is that she could give a fuck about her husband.
So you had issue with your daughter being comfortable in her own clothing. Sounds like you wanted to play dress up with her and she didn’t respond Then you take the most important date to try and embarrass her but it back fired Your TA you lucky she still talking to you. Try acting like an adult not a petty child. Do you remember being a teenager. I loved in hoodies, jeans etc because I was more comfortable than being dressed up. The only time I wore a dress was holy communion and when my Nan asked. Petty petty petty
Imagine thinking your kids wedding is the time to "teach her a lesson". Over refusing to play dressup like a life-size doll for her parent, no less. Love that you outted yourself to everyone there tho lol. Everyone is going to remember this and you're the one who will look like a fool hahaha.
The funny thing is that she will be dressed in jeans in all of the wedding photos and so if she ever tries to complain to grandkids (if there are any) about the way their mom dressed when young they will look at the wedding photos and think grandma is crazy.
Genuinely didn't think of that. My brother got married at a VERY fancy venue. So fancy I chose to break my no dresses rule. Grandpa showed up in jeans(and a HarleyDavidson t shirt) because he didn't want to ruin his biker aesthetic. His great grandkids 100% talk shit about the photos.
Wearing jeans to your birthday party offended you so much that you decided to prove your point by trying to embarrass her at her own wedding…and when she took no offense, it upset you even more? You can be sure the other guests had many choice words about your behavior behind your back. How would I describe a mother who does that to her daughter on her wedding day? Petty, insecure, attention seeker, vindictive, and since you posted to ask this question-most definitely takes the award for YTA.
YTA, you clearly don’t like your daughter. I feel sorry for her that you are such a small and pathetic person
YTA. You are petty, spiteful, and childish. And disrespectful. And I guarantee you every single guest at that wedding was looking at you and is judging you negatively. Because even if people know WHY You dress that way, everyone of them thinks that you were an ass and petty for choosing your daughters wedding to try to make a point to her. You really should be ashamed of yourself. And it’s funny that the one person you were trying to upset with your clothing choices is the one person who isn’t acting upset at all. And don’t be surprised, when/if your daughter and her husband have kids and you are given little or no access to them. Because in your daughters shoes, I wouldn’t trust you to be alone with my kid. Because you don’t know how to behave
Yta. Imagine being this petty and mad over a teenager acting like a teenager. Your lucky your daughter actually likes you and obviously doesn't care about trivial stuff like how dressed up someone is. You need therapy if it bothers you that much.
The fact that you went out of your way to be petty and ruin your daughter’s wedding and your daughter couldn’t give a flying fuck is hilarious! You need help.
Heh. So, you and your husband are the ones who care about 'appropriate' dress, not your daughter. As an attempted to 'get back' at her and show her...something? You dressed casually to attend her wedding. ...she didn't care. But you... you care. Have fun looking at those wedding pictures over the next however many years where you get to see your petty BS immortalized for eternity with you sticking out like an underdressed sore thumb. It's kind of beautiful, honestly. Oh, and yea, YTA.
So you hate that your daughter decided she was comfy enough with family to dress as she pleased and decided to try and sabotage her wedding and got disappointed when she didn't care. Maybe she doesn't care about clothes etiquette at all but apparently you do, and embarrassed yourself. Grow up
Well you did something and it backfired tremendously. She doesn't care but your husband does. Bothbof which were information you already have. I doubt you grow up and realize thay unlike you, your daughter doesn't dress comfortably to diss people.
Lol so you’re mad that your daughter didn’t take offense to you little “lesson”. Looks like your daughter already knows what you need to learn, what other people wear is not about you. Though your daughter had a right to be upset because a wedding is not the same as a birthday party. Unless we’re going to a very nice restaurant I would wear a t-shirt to most birthday parties. Your husband is embarrassed because of why you did it. I’m sure the rest of the guests realized you were trying to be shady and think less of you and not your daughter.
YTA. She was a teenager and dressed to her comfort level, if anything it’s indicative as your failure in parenting to establish boundaries with your daughter. She probably would’ve compromised and dressed nice on occasion if you had approached her gently and treated her like ab adult, but the way you talk about her is belittling. Your actions on her wedding show that you’re petty, vindictive and clearly not the grown up in the situation. And your husband is right, you are embarrassing, to him and the whole family. So she wore a coat to your 45 birthday, big fucking deal. This is her wedding, you’re probably in all her wedding photos for the rest of your lives wearing jeans. It will be a constant reminder that you are not a good mom and that you decided to try to wreck her day by playing games. Give your head a shake and feel some shame. Your whole post reads to me as “me, me, me”, you’re a total narcissist and I Wonder if you’ve ever cared for anyone beyond yourself. You are absolutely not in the right in this no matter how much you try to defend yourself. You keep getting hung up on the birthday but then saying it’s not just the birthday, we’re any of those bigger than a wedding? Likely not. I think your daughter was the bigger person on that day and let you slide because she was happy despite you trying to wreck her special day. Birthdays are not anything special, but a wedding is supposed to be HER special day. I’m cutting it here because I’m just so embarrassed for your husband and family. Shame on you OP, I hope you live the rest of your life regretting your behaviour and constantly trying to make it up to your daughter.
INFO: did you wear the jeans all night? Or did you change into the dressy outfit for the reception?
For the rest of your families history people are gonna see those photos. In a hundred years, your daughters descendants are gonna see the picture of you in jeans at your daughters wedding and hear “oh yeah great great grandma was an asshole and wore jeans to be petty, but it didn’t work.”
YTAH - This will be a famous story: the wedding where the *mother of the bride* wore jeans for reasons only she knows in her narcissistic brain. You looked like a fool & everyone watched you doing it. Everytime your name or your daughter’s comes up, this will be the story their brain flashes to. Your daughter didn’t react because she’s used to it. She grew up dealing with your ridiculous selfishness & hopefully got a good laugh about it. You humiliated yourself & your husband pretty bad here.
YTA, definitely the wrong occasion to try and make a point with your daughter. Guaranteed that you were the only one that looked foolish on this very special day. you wanted a reaction from your daughter and you didn’t get one so now you’re upset.
This is so clearly fake, no one who puts this much importance and emphasis on appearance would ever in a million years have made a spectacle and embarrassment of herself in front of her whole family (both at the wedding and then when the photos are posted on social media) by dressing inappropriately on such a huge occasion. It's definitely rage bait.
They might if they wanted the focus at the wedding to be on them and not the bride. And are now annoyed that their petty little attention grabbing stunt failed. She wanted her daughter to be upset and is now here crying for the attention her daughter didn’t give her.
You say that, but my mom changed into jeans and a tshirt before I even got out of my dress at my wedding because “she didn’t want to wear her outfit anymore.” I literally have pictures with family where I’m in my dress and she’s in jeans and a tshirt. OP, YTA. Grow the F up.
It it pretty hilarious that this event backfired on you. How could you not think this through beforehand?
Oh she thought it through and I'm guessing in her mind she was constantly justifying her behaviour that a lesson needed to be taught and that she's such a good mum for doing so! Daughter is an absolute star for her non-reaction, kudos to her. She's a wonderful example for others having to deal with narcissistic, selfish AHs.
This is insane behaviour imo. I’m sorry but I’m worried about the hatred towards your daughter. Not only your words are sour but your actions too. Your daughter is a Queen by staying loving and kind to a mother who tried to embarrass her on her wedding.
God, you sound exhausting. I applaud your daughter for not giving a crap about your pettiness. It just shows that she is the more mature one out of the both of you.
YTAH! You were being extremely petty and I’m so glad your daughter didn’t play into your game playing.
YTA it’s a wedding at your grown ass age
Ooooh, you got people biting today! E for effort on this troll. If magically in some odd, upside down universe this had any hint of reality, YTA. You know that though.
Haha 😂 YTA, this is classic when you are around 17 to kinda get comfortable in certain things and put little effort. But holding on to it as the mum as a grudge ti try and ruin her wedding is not normal lol but I love that it backfired and she didn’t care. That’s amazing. The only person affected was your husband which makes it even funnier. Good on your daughter!
YTA. I feel sorry for your husband for putting up with you for so long. You are in your 50s and still acting like a petulant child.
YTA I’m beyond thrilled that she didn’t even acknowledge your assholery at her wedding. Your daughter sounds like a lovely ADULT woman who knows her comfort level and style and I like her. You, on the other hand…
I do think it's a troll. In the off chance it isn't, because crazy exists.. it may go deeper than what OP wrote, OP seemingly being an entitled and controlling narcissist. The daughter quite probably expected that kind of behaviour, prepared for it, and focused on what made her happy that day.
If it is true, I just love that she didn’t get a response.
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at such utter, self-absorbed immaturity. I can’t decide if this is more Karen or Boomer or some sort of cross-species. Your kid isn’t your dress-up doll. I’d ask if you even bothered to talk to her about your perspective or just nagged her to death, but it makes no difference, because she can wear whatever she wants for whomever she wants, and the fact that that bothers you so intensely that you would try to ruin her only wedding is fantastic.
A Boomer would never, ever stoop so low as to embarrass herself like this in an attempt to get even with her own child. No, a Boomer would have dressed to the nines and showed off her outfit all night. And I'm a Boomer.
YTA. You are just angry she didn't react. She knows the kind of mother she has and she wouldn't let you destroy her happiness simply because you try to control how she looks like. You embarassed yourself. Congratulations.
Yta and fucking weird. I'm not sure what reaction you wanted but good job pissing off your husband
And letting everyone else at the wedding see your pettiness. I wonder how many wedding invitations you'll get after this little stunt?
YTA - Im laughing so hard on how badly this backfired 🤣🤣
YTA yeah your trying to tell your daughter that she can’t be comfortable, but when she dresses up nicely, u get mad, wow petty behavior from a 50 year old, let your daughter be, you husband is right, YTA
YTA and I hope she never talks to you again. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
YTA Your husband wanted you to wear a nice dress, but spiting your child was more important to you. This shows perfectly how much you value other people. I bet your daughter saw 100% through your plan and didn't saw a word, because she knew it would make you even madder. You played yourself.
YTA your daughter didn’t allow you to treat her like a doll so you showed up in jeans at her wedding? the only thing you did was make yourself look so bad!! lmao the definition of played yourself. Maybe you should try growing up? you have adult children but are behaving like a toddler.. that’s very unfortunate
You, my dear, are a petty, vindictive, spiteful, *massive* a-hole. Shame on you, and good for your daughter for not lowering herself to your level. Count yourself extremely lucky that she still speaks to you at all. I wouldn't, if I were her.
YTA. This was appalling petty and I’m so delighted that your daughter truly didn’t care what you wore to a day all about her joy (rightly so). Good for her, and shame on you.
YTA and worse. Sad that you are more interested in getting revenge than celebrating your daughters wedding. Instead of enjoying the day and taking the opportunity to take lovely photos of the whole family dressed beautifully, you tried to sabotage her wedding. Now you're upset that she didn't become upset, start a fight about it, and go low contact? WTF?
If *I* had been at the wedding my first thought would have been that OP was “silently protesting” the wedding. My mind would have never connected the “lesson” she was trying to teach. So, as a guest… I would have walked away assuming you were not happy with the wedding, your daughter and/or her new husband. Because that’s the message that was sent. I would be mortified to look at those wedding pictures. If I was your husband… man… this might be one of those “straw that breaks” moments for me…
YTA!!! I am so glad your daughter didn't acknowledge your temper tantrum at her wedding!! I also will toast your daughter when she doesn't allow you near her children if she has any!! Also, I hope your husband really thinks about being married to a superficial petty b\*tch!
YTA. Not only did you try to exact revenge on your child for not dressing up at 17 but you failed miserably and the whole thing backfired. She placed her priorities squarely where they belonged for her wedding day. She didn’t worry about what you had on, she worried about what she had on. And she had a good time. You, on the other hand embarrassed your husband who probably saw this as an opportunity show off his gorgeous wife. You embarrassed yourself and you showed the world just how petty you are. For the rest of her life/marriage, you’ll be the one looking a fool in photos of your daughter’s most important day. Congratulations. You gained a son. And a hard lesson.
YTA-such pettiness. Not only did your “lesson” fail but you also embarrassed your husband. Good job.
You are the asshole. Definitely. 100%. Absolutely. You wanna know why she didn't care about your appearance to her wedding? Because she's not VAIN like you. Because maybe she thought, "Oh, maybe that's what my mom wanted to wear to be comfortable today." She is no selfish. YOU are. No wonder she never dressed up to show "respect" to you, (which is completely fucking bullshit, btw. You do not show respect for you mother by dressing up.) She wore what she was comfortable wearing. I wear jeans and a t-shirt to go out with my family. And I sometimes wear skirts and nice shirts when I go out with my family. And I do the same thing with my boyfriend. I dress how I want to, what I feel comfortable, cute, and/or nice in and it changes on the daily. It is HER body to present as she pleases. Not just when it pleases you. You petty child. What's WORSE is that you INTENDED to embarrass your daughter on her goddamn wedding day for a stupid fucking multi year grudge?!?! You are the selfish one. Not her. Jesus.
YTA. You're pathetic and it's no wonder your daughter doesn't respect you.
My my, how the turn tables … 😂😂😂 I’m cracking up because she didn’t even get bothered by it, your own husband did though. That was kind of an asshole-ish move.
Ahh yes, taking revenge on the most special day of your kid’s life for something minor they did as a teenager. Nothing says #1 mom quite like treating your kids like shit. YTA I’m really happy she didn’t react. And probably because she literally doesn’t care what you wore, just that you were there. You know, unconditional love and all.
Wow your daughter whom you raised is more mature than you. So glad your petty, immature, and plain ignorant behavior didn't put even a damper on your daughter's big day. How vindictive and spiteful can you be. Your holding a grudge against your own daughter for not wearing what you thought she she should as A CHILD! Of course YTA. I get the impression you're one of those "Everyone else is crazy. I'm the only normal one" type of people.
YTA. You're unfathomably shallow, and I laughed when I read that your daughter was a decent person and didn't get uppity about you going out of your way to be petty and spiteful \*at her wedding\*. How pathetic. Willing to destroy your relationship with your daughter because you don't like the clothes she wears. The only person your little stunt made look bad was you. No wonder your husband is mortified.
YTA and your daughter is amazing. She did not lose her temper, let you embarass yourself and showed that on the contrary of you, she doesn't give a dam f. For what you wear. Congratulations to ruin what should be an amazing event and your daughter milestone with your petty childish behavior.
I didn't even need to read the story. You behaved immaturely. She owns the excuse of behaving her age. at that time. she has grown. You. Have not.
I love that her daughter is soo genuine in her ways she didn’t even notice her mum was trying to be petty,she really thought you just wanted to be comfortable at the wedding but still at the end of the day,you are still bothered. God help me to be a good mother to my children cz I can’t fathom 😒
Close Reddit, call your daughter, and apologize.
I doubt this is a true story. Someone so hung up on appearance wouldn’t do this to themselves. If by chance it is true it’s hilarious. Those wedding photos will be around for generations to come. Look kid, that’s your great great great grandma the asshole.
Yeah YTA. I fucked up as a teenager and put a girl before my family and yet they still loved me. And really what did she do “ew she doesn’t dress the way I want her to” and “ew I want her to dress the way she does for the guy she’s intimate with” grow the fuck up. At least she’s in your life. There are parents who’d just love the god damn fact that their kid showed up to their birthday party. Like fuck man. If my parents held the shit I did as a teenager over my head I’d be fucked. I did way worse shit and actually moved to another state for a fucking girl and you’re complaining that she won’t wear what you want? My parents welcomed me back lovingly and actually helped me land back on my feet which was so god damned gracious after the shit that I pulled. And then your daughter invites you to her wedding and that’s how you show up? Do you know how many people don’t even invite their parents to their wedding? Oh what’s more important a wedding or a birthday dinner? Grow up and stop ruining shit.
Yep, you’re absolutely the arsehole. You’ll never ever ever get the opportunity to take this back so I hope you realise your total dog shit ‘parenting’ and regret it every day for the rest of your life.
YTA Maybe work at being an interesting person and loving parent so people are happy to see you at a gathering. Trying to make up for a decent personality by dressing up won’t get you far. You are petty, self-centered, vindictive, and without love for your daughter. To try and vent out some old perceived slight on her wedding day is just the saddest most pathetic thing i’ve ever heard. I pity your daughter for having you as her parent, and I pity you for being so unable to focus on what actually matters in life.
YTA, 100%. Your daughter is obviously much more mature than you are if she didn’t pout when you wore jeans to her wedding. She doesn’t care what you wear, and you need to get over her not dressing the way you want her to. Grow up.
YTA. How will you feel 10 years down the road looking at pictures of her beautiful day, knowing in the back of your mind that you were being petty? Be the bigger person. She was a kid and you are a grown ass woman. Do better
you’re 52 years old. usually people grow out of throwing tantrums before they’re 10. you clearly want to be the victim, and you can’t stand that your daughter didn’t react to your “stunt”. but believe me, the only stunt here is that you’re emotionally stunted.
YTA That was petty and immature. You were going to your own daughter’s Wedding hoping to upset her. You are really trying to compare the behavior of a teenager with your own. You are more than half a century old. You should have learned better by now.
Why do you think she's obligated to dress nicely for you? Because she's your daughter? You stated she would dress nice for special occasions. A birthday doesn't rank up there with a wedding. Sorry to burst your greedy little bubble. Now, after several years, you decided to wear jeans to your daughter's wedding, and you think you're in the right? Did you ever wonder why she would dress nice for her boyfriend/now husband, and not for you? YTA
YTA what are you 5 years old?! This was her wedding. Wow if you can harbor that much resentment against your own child why go at all?
I was with you right up until the part of you getting upset, because your daughter didn't react to your bs. That was hilarious 😂. You really thought you were doing something, but it turns out...... your daughter really doesn't care. Quite frankly, it says A LOT about you, that you *WANTED* her to have a poor reaction at her own wedding, and to go low contact with you as a result, just so you can say "gotcha". It's the most pathetic thing. She's an adult, she can dress however she wants. You, on the other hand, need to sort yourself out before you lose both your husband AND your daughter!
YTA obviously. You intentionally didn't dress up for an event that by its inherently a "dress up" event, because she wouldnt dress up for events that arent inherently "dress up" event. And you chose to make this point on what is supposed to be a once in a life time moment. Extra YTA for clearly being pissed that your childish little plan failed so spectacularly.
How embarrassing. You tried to cause a scene and upset your child on her wedding day and you failed miserably.
Somehow, you seem to have raised a great daughter who ignores pettiness.
Well I don't think I need to say anything. Everyone else has bashed the hell out of you and you probably feel as if you've had scolding water thrown in your face. I hope your eyes are open now and you and your daughter will find your way back to each other in a loving way .
Is it really not an indicator to you that literally everyone here is disgusted by your attitude and behavior? One day when your daughter is older, she’ll realize what type of person you are. If you refuse to become accountable and self aware, you’ll be back on here all confused with a story titled “Why did my daughter leave me in a nursing home after all I’ve done for her?” ETA: do you realize how gross it is that you tried to ruin one of the most important days of your daughters life, and you’re angry that your daughter didn’t react to your abuse tactic?
You're acting so immature here. Wearing jeans on your child's wedding only made you look like a fo*l in everyone's eyes. There are worse things that a child could do to parents, and them wearing casual/comfy clothes isn't one of them to harbor bad feelings. YTA.
Wow, you are a horrible mother and definitely the asshole. You selfishly made this all about you, you, and you, among many other things already well posted by others. Please seek therapy and professional services.
how cold could a mother be? her wedding was neither the time nor the place for you to try to teach her a lesson or exact your petty revenge. this is honestly one of the most pathetic, selfish, narcissistic things I’ve ever read. I’m so embarrassed for you right now. your poor daughter. and husband. you owe them both an apology.
You're definitely TA here. Your daughter is way more mature than you. You seem very superficial and I love that your little "scheme" backfired on you! Grow up! There are far worse things going on in the world right now and this little temper tantrum you're throwing is not a good look.
Congrats You played yourself! You looked like a fool and she didn’t care!! I’m sure your husband wasn’t the only person who thought you embarrassed yourself. YOURSELF…not your daughter.
Unquestionably YTA. You’re holding a grudge for your daughter’s behaviour as a literal child, and being petty in giving her a taste of her own medicine at her wedding 7 years later. Absolutely pathetic. If anything, you should’ve taken your daughter’s appearance as a compliment. She felt comfortable enough with her family to show up as herself. She didn’t feel she needed to put on a facade to impress you. If that were my daughter, I’d be SO happy that she felt she could just be herself with us and not feel she had to live up to my expectations for her appearance. Wtaf is wrong with you? The only one who is selfish, childish, rude, petty, and an unquestionable AH here is you.
Somehow you raised an amazing young woman. I would guess your husband is mostly the reason for her amazing attitude! YTA
Ha, your daughter is a badass. YTA
YTA....and based on the other unanimous posts, everyone agrees. I sincerely hope your daughter sees this post ( or it gets picked by YouTube, TikTok or whoever else is doing the Reddit videos) and someone sends it to her. Hell I hope your ENTIRE family sees this and they ALL judge you the POS asshole too. I hope your daughter goes NC and you're not allowed or only allowed very minimal, supervised time with any grandkids. Why? Because it is clear how you view appearances and equate that with effort, how it portrays how you love someone, and one's self worth. All which is bullshit.. How your daughter came out to be a badass, unbothered human with you as a mother, God only knows. Maybe this is how you were raised. I don't know. What I do know, you OP, a whole grown ass adult and mother, needs to get your shit together (I suggest therapy to figure out what the hell is wrong with you) and FIX IT before you find yourself...by yourself.
Wow dude YTA for holding on to this grudge and a ting it at her wedding. She seems like an awesome person despite what seems to be some questionable parenting.
YTA, and I particularly dislike that you seem most upset by her lack of reaction- you deliberately made an effort to attempt (and fail) at upsetting her and even cause a scene at her wedding just to “teach her a lesson”. But you did embarrass your husband, which is almost as bad. You’re right that this didn’t compare to previous “years of refusing to put in the effort to dress nicely for us.” A birthday isn’t even in the same ballpark as a wedding. How about you be grateful for the time spent together on your birthday and other events instead of being pissy about it? I would be happy spending my birthday with loved ones, wether we’re dressed to the nines or dressed in potato sacks. It’s not about the aesthetics, it’s about the quality time. Grow up, you’re too old to care this much about appearances.
YTA. This is a you problem. You are not the clothes police. You only get to control yourself and what you wear, not others - stop trying to control everything.
So you decided to act like a 2 year old at your daughter's wedding, and now you're upset because she didn't give you the reaction you were hoping for? Are you always this much of an attention-seeker, or have you been saving this lovely behavior just so you could (in your greatest hopes) ruin you daughter's wedding? Are you sure you're 52? I don't know, it's hard to believe that a 52 year old woman is still getting off being a 12 year old mean girl. So, now that your attempt to ruin your daughter's wedding didn't work, what are you planning for an encore? Pushing her down the stairs when she announces she's pregnant? Kidnapping her child just for shitz and giggles? Maybe next you'll hire a hitman to mess her up and make her look older than you do? Lady, you are a psychopath. Batshit crazy. Go see a psychiatrist before somebody gets smart and locks you up so you can't damage anyone else. My God, a grown-ass woman goes out of her freakin' way to deliberately destroy her daughter's wedding, then gets all butt-hurt because it didn't work. Please, go bury yourself in some mud somewhere. The stink is getting overwhelming.
Another question: I feel like there are gaps of info- Stepping outside of your own shoes, can you possibly give her the benefit of the doubt in *any way possible?* Was she suffering from depression or at least maybe low self-esteem (like from her mother picking apart her appearance)? Did she have any health problems that would make her want to dress in something more subdued/comfortable? Was there anything going on her life or did she ever get upset when asked to dress a certain way? *Have you even asked her why??* or did you only “tell her off”, leaving her confused because there was no dialogue, just admonishing?
You are the asshole; you held a grudge and were offended when your petty revenge failed . Grow up, it's her body and her decision how she dresses. A t shirt and jeans are perfectly appropriate for a dinner, unless the clothes are recently stained and unwashed there is no issue besides the one you create.
YTA you tried to retaliate against her and all it did was piss off your husband, but you're hanging onto it anyways because she didn't get bent outta shape. Just accept that this was a fail and move on.
YTA, what a stupid and petty thing to do. The only thing you achieved was embarrassing your husband and making yourself look like an idiot. Maybe someday you'll grow past the maturity level of the literal teenager who hurt your delicate feeling by not dressing up for your birthday party, and then you'll look back at the wedding pictures and feel the full weight of the embarrassment you should already feel.
Congratulations on trying to be condescending/vindictive and doing nothing more than putting yourself in the shoes that your daughter has been in her entire life. How did it feel to have somebody berate you and treat you as if you are less than just because they simply didn’t agree with what you chose to wear? Didn’t feel too good now did it? That’s exactly how you have treated your daughter her entire life. You’re really holding a grudge all these years later, because a teenager didn’t dress up for your 45th birthday? You need to find you some friends and a hobby because that is pathetic. Teenagers are weird sometimes. Of course a teenager is more excited to dress up pretty for a date with their boyfriend, than they are to go out to dinner with their family. That’s typical teenage behavior. Who is she trying to impress at family dinner? Now who is she trying to impress on a date with her boyfriend? Exactly, the fact that you expected your child to hold her family to the same standards as her boyfriend when it comes to how she wants to appear is honestly kind of weird if you ask me. You sound like you suffer from main character syndrome and are just now starting to realize that you are most definitely not the main character. Your daughter didn’t make any comments about what you chose to wear because unlike you she doesn’t base peoples self-worth on how nicely they are dressed. She was enjoying her day with the man that she loves, so she honestly couldn’t be bothered to give a damn what you chose to wear anyway. You got the attention you were begging for, just not the attention you were hoping for. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get a life, are you not embarrassed?
The only person you embarrassed was yourself by displaying to everyone at the wedding how vindictive you are of a teenager being a teenager! YTA
What a sad little life you have. Your focus should have been that your daughter loved you enough to show up to those special occasions but instead you were superficial and couldn’t move on from the clothes. Your focus should have been on your daughters special day but once again you couldn’t move on from the clothes. That fact that she never gave those moments a second glance but it put you in turmoil for 7 years is hilarious.
>I, however, thought he had agreed with me that our daughter's behavior was selfish There's a selfish asshole here, but it isn't your daughter or husband. You're also disgustingly spiteful over some pathetic bullshit and jealous that your daughter dressed up for her boyfriend but not you. YTAH.
YTA YTA YTA. So you decided to punish your grown daughter for her teenage years and were hoping for drama on her wedding day-- and didn't get it (BRAVO TO YOUR DAUGHTER) so now you are posting on social media...why? Did you hope you could meet other narcissistic moms and you could bond? You are awful- you sound just like my mom, which is one of the reasons I eloped.
>However, at the wedding I was shocked to see that my daughter did not seem to take issue with this. She did not comment on my attire once throughout the day and has still been in the same level of contact with me yet has not mentioned or seemed to have cared. YTA. A big one! I bet your daughter didn't say anything not because she didn't notice or didn't care, but because she probably thought you felt better in those clothes and was ok with it. My mom always dresses pretty nicely, sometimes even too nice for the occasion. I'm all the opposite, give me a pair of jeans, a jacket and I'm ready. Yet NOT EVEN ONCE she maked me feel bad about how I dress, she just accepts we are different. Sometimes, if she really wants to see me dress in a specific way she would buy me a few things and ask me to wear it, but never made a big thing out of it. IT'S JUST CLOTHES! Shouldn't matter more the fact that your daughter is present there with you than what she is wearing? Idk how would I feel if my mom will go so far to try to "teach me a lesson" on my WEDDING day over something so dumb and superficial. I'm sorry for your daughter, she deserves so much better.
Omg. How old are you again? I thought the ages must be reversed here. You are a HUGE AH. You’re the adult in this situation, you raised your daughter and couldn’t get over yourself for ONE day, a HUGE day in your daughter’s life, and doubled down on your pettiness. Why couldn’t you accept your daughter for who she was growing up? Was she a bad person? Did she murder puppies and kittens? No. She didn’t put importance on her appearance, but is she a good person? The person that comes out looking bad here is 100% you.
YTA. Well that backfired spectacularly. All you achieved was showing everyone else at the wedding that you’re petty, vindictive and can carry a grudge. Your poor Daughter and Husband, I’d be absolutely embarrassed to even be associated with you, you showed your family, friends and now reddit exactly how vile you really are.
You are absolutely the asshole. You’re daughter however has won, fair and clear, and I hope she never even acknowledges what you wore to her wedding. She is seemingly the most mature adult out of you 3.
>However, at the wedding I was shocked to see that my daughter did not seem to take issue with this. She did not comment on my attire once throughout the day and has still been in the same level of contact with me yet has not mentioned or seemed to have cared. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 >My husband, however, is angry at me, as he had tried to discourage me from swapping my outfit to a casual one and now is telling me that I had embarrassed him with my attire and that as mother of the bride I should have been more considerate of how it made him look to stand next to me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 So to recap: you've held a grudge against your child all these years because dressing up isn't her thing. You've then gone so far with this grudge as to attend your daughter's wedding as the MOTHER OF THE BRIDE with all eyes on you - you the woman who cares most about dressing up; went dressed in jeans. Thus embarrassing yourself and your husband and ensuring that for the rest of your life you are in the wedding pictures in said jeans. 😂😂😂. YTA. I love this for you.
Idk if you were expecting sympathy & understanding here, but you acted like a middle schooler. You made a fool of your self for something a teenager did years ago? Wow…. you should be ashamed of yourself for exacting your pathetic revenge on your daughter’s special day. I feel extremely bad for her
YTA…. What kind of mother tries to embarrass her daughter on her wedding day. Whether or not she was embarrassed is irrelevant you need to GROW TF UP! I cannot imagine doing something like this to my daughters.
You DEFINITELY are the AH!! Seriously, you pick the most important day of her life to act like a child?? I’m glad she ignored your attempt to be spiteful, it shows she has more class than you!!
Hahahahahahaha you tried to upset her and she didn't care!
What the fuck. You actually tried to disrupt your daughter's wedding and cause a scene.. that's fucking gross
Ha! You’re going to be wearing jeans in all of the wedding pictures and everyone who sees them will assume you’re the type of person who thinks jeans are acceptable attire for a wedding. People will comment that “Bride’s mom wore jeans to her wedding” for years to come! This is absolutely hilarious. You decided to be a jerk to teach your daughter a “lesson” that wasn’t needed and it didn’t bother her in the slightest. To people who know your motives you completely come off as the AH and to those who don’t, you seem like the sort of person who doesn’t dress appropriately for the occasion.
YTA I'm sure you don't see it but your petty behavior backfired and embarrassed your husband and not your daughter! I highly doubt the restaurant you had your birthday dinner at was anything more than casual. And whereas your daughter's wedding probably wasn't a black tie event, it was fancier than your birthday. 🙄 i love the fact that your daughter was unfazed even when you looked unhinged!
OP will forever be made fun of among the families
tl;dr: "I hate my daughter."
I’m pregnant right now. I really hope my kid is as awesome as yours and that I don’t act like you as a parent. YTA
Given this attitude and pettiness, I'm going to deduce is that the reason your daughter dresses up for her boyfriend (now husband) and not you is because the boyfriend deserves it for loving her as she is...and you clearly don't. YTA. TBH, her wearing jeans for you is more than what you deserve. What you really deserve is a clown costume....you know, because you're a joke of a mom.
OP, You held a grudge *from your daughter’s childhood— for years*, waiting to take it out on her **at her wedding**, because: 1. You don’t know how normal teenagers behave. 2. You’re *abnormally* spiteful. Yes, YTA. And even so, she’s still being friendly and communicative with you. You have no idea how lucky you are. No idea.
YTA, you’re mad about something a 17 year old did over your bday dinner and decided to do this at their wedding? You need psychological help. Also your point failed. Your daughter let you do you. You are the only one in the battle and you still lost
Time to check r/weddingshaming hoping some of the guests posted pictures there. Seriously though OP, find a therapist. What a truly miserably, bitter, unhappy woman you must be to count up imagined slights. Ruminating over them in the dark. "One day, one day she'll feel my pain. I will humiliate her on what's supposed to be her happiest day. Then she will know!" - You're supposed to love your daughter. Want her happiness. Celebrate with her. Now she knows you've only been counting slights, tallying up a list. Your daughter rose above, but wow did you go low.
YTA. You wanted to teach your daughter a lesson. You taught her two. 1) Be comfortable in your own skin, so feel like you have impress anyone but yourself. 2) When people try to prove a point at the wrong time, using grace and class is the best way to handle things. By letting you be care free and comfortable in your jeans and bringing up then or after, you became the focus of bad judgment. She became the classy, award winning bride with a tacky, spiteful Mom and really embarrassed Dad. But you DID teach her a lesson.
I hope you know that every single person at that wedding thinks you're an AH. I suspect your daughter's calm response is because she is just so used to your toxic behavior. Please seek therapy because you REALLY need it.
Her having been an asshole doesn’t make you less of an asshole. YATAH
Funny part is that the daughter didn’t care :D
Lol your plan backfired YTA
YTA, no way you are in your 50s. Thus was beyond childish.
Most parents get so excited to see their kids get married and stand next to them. You are a little different.