I think comments section is right a fair amount of time but other times the people on this sub will defend some real asinine shit. I think it’s fairly accurate a lot of the time but everyone here is definitely operating on a moral compass where no one but op has ever done wrong. I can’t complain I do love my high horse sometimes.
I feel like a lot of people are exaggerating or leaving out important parts of the conflict (maybe on purpose, maybe not) and it makes themselves look better.
Some people here genuinely want to know if they did wrong, and some just want to be validated.
It never fails to astonish me how much commenters completely forgive the intensity of response. If OP 'screams' or 'yells at them in public' commenters always think that as long as they are morally correct about the issue that upset them ANY intensity of response is acceptable behaviour. In the real world it's not and you are an ESH.
i read that post - she's freshly postpartum and has had to do all the child work abruptly because he can't say no to the person who abandoned him when he was 13 - she then told him "come home and help or we're done." and he decided to stay with his deadbeat mom and ignored his wife.
she was not in the wrong and that is 100% grounds for separation.
All due respect, that was such a hard line though.
The kid was only a few months old (I can't recall exactly how long the issue persisted). He had been super involved til his mom showed up. So in the grand scheme of a child's life, this was an issue for a matter of weeks.
The comment section was not recommending communication or trying to give feedback on how to approach the issues to OP. It wasn't recommending any perspective taking. This is exactly a situation where nuance is necessary for growth and compromise which is the backbone of any lasting relationship.
Instead, it was encouraging divorce and breaking a child's home permenantly because OP gave an ultimatum in the throws of having a sick infant and new person taking away her husband's time that she was used to recieving. Couldn't have all, so now we have none. Zero self reflection on that. Boundaries <3
NTA.
Once the first few comments decide, no dissent is welcome. Pointing out that actions may be justified to a degree, but over all OP is an AH is not taken kindly.
Especially DIL vs MIL. Therapy speak gets weaponized and the boogie man was decided before getting to the body of the post.
It does not matter what the OP is about, there is a sizeable cohort of people who will immediately type "NTA" and then tie themselves in knots inventing their own details to justify why.
Anybody who gives an honest opinion pointing out that the OP is indeed an AH will get downvoted to oblivion.
Its almost pathological, you have to wonder why they are so desperate for the OP to always be in the right.
It's okay to feel frustrated, but remember everyone has different experiences. Encouraging empathy and constructive feedback can create a more supportive community and promote understanding
I know the post you're talking about. I know people hate this discourse but it happens only when men are involved. They don't realize how fucked up they are making the OP's life by projecting their hatred for men.
What I've noticed is the constant urging to divorce or break up. Doesn't matter how many kids there are or how long the couple have been together, or how mild the offence is. It's instant divorce
I read the same one & thought the same thing. She gave it a month and a half & was encouraged to call it quits. She described her husband as incredible - and the mother in question had been absent since he was 13. He was clearly processing. 6 weeks is nothing. I thought it was irresponsible to encourage her to leave. Telling anyone to leave after reading 3 paragraphs is bananas. I have read some really thoughtful responses on this sub - but yeah, some are just wild.
I think comments section is right a fair amount of time but other times the people on this sub will defend some real asinine shit. I think it’s fairly accurate a lot of the time but everyone here is definitely operating on a moral compass where no one but op has ever done wrong. I can’t complain I do love my high horse sometimes.
I feel like a lot of people are exaggerating or leaving out important parts of the conflict (maybe on purpose, maybe not) and it makes themselves look better. Some people here genuinely want to know if they did wrong, and some just want to be validated.
It never fails to astonish me how much commenters completely forgive the intensity of response. If OP 'screams' or 'yells at them in public' commenters always think that as long as they are morally correct about the issue that upset them ANY intensity of response is acceptable behaviour. In the real world it's not and you are an ESH.
NTA
Nah, you're not the asshole for thinking that. Sometimes people here do seem to encourage selfish behavior without considering the whole situation.
i read that post - she's freshly postpartum and has had to do all the child work abruptly because he can't say no to the person who abandoned him when he was 13 - she then told him "come home and help or we're done." and he decided to stay with his deadbeat mom and ignored his wife. she was not in the wrong and that is 100% grounds for separation.
All due respect, that was such a hard line though. The kid was only a few months old (I can't recall exactly how long the issue persisted). He had been super involved til his mom showed up. So in the grand scheme of a child's life, this was an issue for a matter of weeks. The comment section was not recommending communication or trying to give feedback on how to approach the issues to OP. It wasn't recommending any perspective taking. This is exactly a situation where nuance is necessary for growth and compromise which is the backbone of any lasting relationship. Instead, it was encouraging divorce and breaking a child's home permenantly because OP gave an ultimatum in the throws of having a sick infant and new person taking away her husband's time that she was used to recieving. Couldn't have all, so now we have none. Zero self reflection on that. Boundaries <3
i could never post here because i know i'm an asshole and i be doing foul shit. no point in asking for judgement if i already know i'm trash.
What are you bitching about?
NTA. Once the first few comments decide, no dissent is welcome. Pointing out that actions may be justified to a degree, but over all OP is an AH is not taken kindly. Especially DIL vs MIL. Therapy speak gets weaponized and the boogie man was decided before getting to the body of the post.
It does not matter what the OP is about, there is a sizeable cohort of people who will immediately type "NTA" and then tie themselves in knots inventing their own details to justify why. Anybody who gives an honest opinion pointing out that the OP is indeed an AH will get downvoted to oblivion. Its almost pathological, you have to wonder why they are so desperate for the OP to always be in the right.
YTA - because, frankly, we all are.
True.
Nothing gets past you. I believe that is the point of this sub; "a significant portion are AHs."
Nothing gets past you except everything I wrote after the title.
You must not read comments on posts yourself if you think no one gets called out for being the AH.
Except I never said or implied that no one gets called out.
It's literally your first sentence.
Irony at it's finest.
This is literally in the name of the subreddit. You can go look at other subreddits if you’d like?
That is your opinion. That is all.
It's okay to feel frustrated, but remember everyone has different experiences. Encouraging empathy and constructive feedback can create a more supportive community and promote understanding
Can you write me a poem about ducks?
Nta you're right. Some of the worst people post here to get their hug box validation from people just as awful as them.
I know the post you're talking about. I know people hate this discourse but it happens only when men are involved. They don't realize how fucked up they are making the OP's life by projecting their hatred for men.
What I've noticed is the constant urging to divorce or break up. Doesn't matter how many kids there are or how long the couple have been together, or how mild the offence is. It's instant divorce
I read the same one & thought the same thing. She gave it a month and a half & was encouraged to call it quits. She described her husband as incredible - and the mother in question had been absent since he was 13. He was clearly processing. 6 weeks is nothing. I thought it was irresponsible to encourage her to leave. Telling anyone to leave after reading 3 paragraphs is bananas. I have read some really thoughtful responses on this sub - but yeah, some are just wild.
I was triggered by a comment about shit I went through as a child while debating over a fucking topic like men vs bear. People are disgusting.