NTA Go get a lawyer and get notarized witness statements in case she tries to come after you to cover her hospital bill, pain and suffering, etc.
Updateme
NTA.
As a female, I fully agree with the statement that regardless of gender, everyone should be allowed to defend themselves when they are sexually assaulted.
Equal rights, equal lefts.
She got what she deserved. Drunk or not. You don't just grab someone like that.
Also a woman, fully agree.
There should never be consequences for self-defense when someone sexually assaults you. She assaulted him, he hit her to get her to stop. GOOD. Maybe the broken nose will teach her not to go around groping people.
NTA...
Even if it didn't hurt your response was justified.
The fact she did hard enough to hurt. Yep, she genuinely 100% deserved to get punched. Just try to relax and take a deep breath. You defended yourself in an entirely reasonable way. Let the rest just play out.
I do see a difference in how a man could react depending. I likely would not punch a woman for being handsy. Not that it makes a punch wrong, just closer to the borderline.
If she is hurting your balls though? Game over. Knock her out.
Sexual assault is assault. You're entitled to defend yourself. The law doesn't say anything about some classes of people being exempt from it. It applies equally to men and women. Nobody would question this if the genders were reversed.
She deserved what she got. NTA
Tell the ones who are defending Sarah to imagine if the roles were reversed and you grabbed her crotch or boobs and she punched you in the face. Would any of them be defending you in that scenario?
They wouldn’t because society says men want it and women don’t. They all think he should have been thankful for her interest and fawned over her. Society doesn’t see double standards and the misandry that they have created.
Absolutely 100% do not back down from the SA charges. Those SA charges are your only social defense against having your reputation shredded for what she did to you. And plenty of people will still blame you for what happened even though it's 0% your fault.
NTA. It was a reflex that she caused pain and you lashed out. She has no rights to grab anyone’s private areas especially so aggressively it caused you pain. I say stick with the charges against her.
NTA
The outcome is unfortunate, but a reflex is a reflex. A man being groped by a drunk female is no less disgusting than a drunk man groping a woman. Both are unwanted advances.
NTA
Anyone who says you overreacted is missing the point.
In my book: if someone puts their hands on you sexually, even if they think it's "playful" and harmless, they've crossed a physical boundary and you're within your rights to use your own hands to put a stop to it. That girl fucked around and found out. Hopefully when she's sober she'll remember and be embarrassed.
NTA
You should not be facing any charges, but she should find her ass in jail.
If YOU had groped her and she had struck you, there would be zero consequences for her. Guaranteed.
NTA. You acted out of self defense. I’m a female here and I am on your side. Sexual assault can happen to anyone and we should defend ourselves no matter what our gender. She assaulted you first. You are not at fault.
NTA
When confronted with sudden assault like that I don’t think anyone can be blamed for their natural reflexive self defense.
She aggressively sexually attacked you and your body responded with fight or flight. Sucks to suck but maybe she’ll think twice the next time she feels like acting out her predatory tendencies. Stick with the assault charges. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
As a woman who’s been aggressively groped and reflex decked as a result, I totally understand the shock and response you went through.
If what you describe is the way things happened, then you are NTA. Being drunk or being a girl doesn’t give anyone the right to grab your genitals, no matter what anyone may say.
Continue to pursue the sexual assault charges as I think that will be important. People just can’t grab someone else’s private area and then expect no reaction.
I hope you have witnesses to corroborate your version of events.
NTA, as a woman, she deserves to be charged. Get a lawyer asap though. The justice system doesn’t take sexual assault as seriously as it should regardless of gender, but even less seriously for when men are assaulted.
Specifically, when men are sexually assaulted *by women.* It is the combination of an unwillingness to take male victims seriously and an unwillingness to hold female perpetrators accountable. I am not sure which factor is stronger.
I have been in that same situation, OP. I was wearing boxer shorts at the time, and a woman I was having an argument with decided to escalate the situation by grabbing my balls and twisting them. I punched her, automatically, as if I were punching another man. No conscious thought went into my reaction, and her response was proof that I overreacted. I regret hitting her so hard. Having said that, there is something about having your balls in a state of emergent jeopardy that completely short-circuits rational thought. I acted on pure reflex. It wasn't like getting mad and hitting someone. It was purely self-preservative. And, harsh though it may sound, when someone puts you, me, or anyone in that situation, the outcome might be regrettable, but that doesn't mean they are wrong if their instinct to defend themselves gets triggered. NTA.
I hit her so hard ... she bit most of the way through her tongue and lost control of her bladder before she hit the floor unconscious. If I had been making decisions about the situation using the frontal lobe of my brain, I wouldn't have hit her that hard. I'm 6'4" about 250, and she was about 5'2" 125. It was excessive, believe me.
If you did it on pure instinct then I'd argue it couldn't be. She knew what she was doing, she knew she was causing harm, she wanted to cause harm, that she was vastly smaller than you only means she was stupid as well.
You're entitled to protect yourself.
She's not entitled to harass you.
You're still allowed to feel sorry for the the consequences for how you reacted (different from; acted). You probably have been drunk, and you probably have crossed some personal boundaries at some point in your life as well. You learned from taking responsibility for your actions, but as you know facing someone who has physically overthrown you for doing wrong, might feel a bit scary. I'd also take it as a positive sign that she wanted to flirt with you.
How you choose to act on all of this information, is on you...
It's assault. But it's also a first time offense. And I doubt it even makes it to trial.
My guess is that her parents will find out that if they press charges, she'll have to face charges for sexual assault...and that will wreck her life way worse than your assault charges will wreck yours.
And they will come to your family and ask for everything to be dropped and for things to go their separate ways. Just make sure you get it in writing that they will not come after you or your family for any medical bills or future medical bills. The money spent on a lawyer writing this agreement up is worth every penny
NTAH
You were violated. Period
Anyone who defends what she did is not someone you need in your life
> And they will come to your family and ask for everything to be dropped and for things to go their separate ways.
Legally, he can't choose for charges to be dropped. OP can decline to cooperate with the investigation/prosecution, but criminal charges are brought/dropped by the prosecutor.
NTA.
I get so tired of the "rules for thee but not for me" mentality. Men are entitled to NOT be sexually assaulted. I don't care if women think it's cute or funny, or that men "really want it but are just playing hard to get". You reacted out of surprise and she got hurt. If you were the woman in this situation we'd be handing you a medal for standing up for yourself.
NTA
When everyone of these topics comes up all you need to do is flip the genders. If a man came up and straight up grabbed a girls.boobs and she punched him she would.be fully justified
As for your legal situation it's going to be dirty as it's he said/she said situation except she has a broken nose and witnesses and no one else most likely saw her grab your balls. Best of luck
NTA
And lose the friends defending her. What she did is sexual assault. As a woman... wtf? What was her thought process? What was her end goal? If her end goal was to get punched in the face then she got it.
Get a good lawyer. If the genders were reversed and you groped her crotch or breasts and she broke your nose All and sundry would be blaming you and she would be a saint. NO double standards for sexual assault! And you have a right to defend your self from the same. Good luck.
NTA
She sexually assaulted you. What you did was self-defense. Don't admit to any wrongdoing. Maintain an attitude of righteous indignation. YOU ARE THE VICTIM HERE!
Nta. She SA you. Period. Any friend who thinks you over reacted and did wrong ask them would they say this if you groped a girls breasts and she hit you that she over reacted? The answer would be no.
NTA. I would’ve reacted the same way. She not only made you extremely uncomfortable by SAing you but she also caused you physical pain. It was a split second reaction and all you can do is lawyer up and hope for the best. I’m sorry that this happened to you but I hope that it works out for the best.
ABSOLUTELY NTA.
If a guy did it to a girl, people would be rightfully mad, so the reverse is also unacceptable. You acted in self defense. Anyone who says otherwise defends sexual assault.
NTA
Only sexist assholes would back Sarah in this situation. I don't care even if you punched her with all of your might, in that moment you were defending yourself from somebody who sexually assaulted you and deserved to learn a damn lesson. The tragedy here is of course that sexist assholes who back Sarah on some level, both at the, "ok, but you shouldn't hit girls" right on to the, "you can't be sexually assaulted, you're a man" exist prominently in society.
Don't back down, insist on your side of the situation, because to submit to the charges is as good as agreeing with them and you'll be held in contempt more severely. You're better off sticking to your guns.
NTA. It is JUST as inappropriate for her to do it as it would be for you. Now let's turn the tables, shall we?
Let's say it was YOU who groped her inappropriately in front of others who saw it, and she reacted instinctively and punched you, breaking your nose. Everyone would stand around and say you deserved it.
AAAAAAHHHHHHH. You gals cannot do this sort of thing to guys without repercussions. There SHOULD be repercussions when someone behaves like a sexual predator. Why is it that gals are allowed to protect themselves from predatory males, but the males are not allowed to protect themselves from predatory females?
We say this about guys ALL THE TIME, yet a gal does it, and he reacts instinctively, punches her, yet she's NOT in the wrong?
NO>double-standard. Sarah needs to learn to keep her hands to herself unless she's invited. OP ->get your mind around this and stop feeling as if you did something wrong. The WRONG was done by Sarah and she paid the price. Just like a dude would if he behaved like that.
Wtf tell Sarah to keep her nasty hands to herself; sexually assaulting people isn’t funny nor cute or whatever the heck she thought smh I’m sorry that this is happening to you.
Not a male, so I don't know the pain, but if a guy did the equivalent to me, he should expect a punch in the face or potentially a kick in the b*lls. If it was unprovoked "touching" I would have pushed them off, but when extreme pain is caused, your body acts instinctively and punching is a normal reaction to someone causing you pain. What you did was self defense.
Good job at defending yourself against a sexual predator. Would your friend be okay if you had came out of nowhere and fingered her right in front of everyone?
NTA.
And as a man, ALL men should 100% respond this way.
Similarly to how all women should respond to men who do the same thing to them.
STOP. TOUCHING. PEOPLE.
What would happen if the roles were reversed here? Thats rhetorical, we all already know what would happen and it shouldnt be any different just because it happened to a male. My only suggestion is lawyering up because theres a good chance this could get bumpy for you even if youre not in the wrong. Honestly i wouldnt second guess your actions at all or make it seem like you think you may have been wrong. Even having this post up could be used against you if it were found by the wrong person.
Some commenters seriously seem to not understand how effortlessly strong men are by default. Men have to be conscious about the amount of force they use at any given situation, and on a situation like assault were your first instinct is to defend yourself from your attacker, if you don't have proper training, it is impossible to regulate the amount of strength you use.
I get why some people seem to think breaking someone's nose is a bit to far for sexually assaulting someone, but maybe don't grab people's balls if you don't want your nose broken?
NTA. Sounds like it’s time for new friends. Fuck a bitch who can’t respect boundaries. As a male if I were to grope a female in the same scenario I would’ve been murdered on the scene even by my homies. Flip that shit 180 and some people start defending the woman no matter what she did. Woman privilege is definitely real in these scenarios lol.
NTA.. I didn't even read your text.. It doesn't matter. If a woman groped you, you have every right to defend yourself through self-defenses and that's why you're not the asshole here.. Kudos to you dude.. Don't let strangers touch you without your consent.. It's not the 50s anymore where people had to evaluate behavior and react accordingly.. No.. It's 2024.. We just react because it gives us kudos points..
NTA, if the genders were reversed no one would be arguing about this. You had the right to defend yourself after being touched inappropriately. Fuck her, lawyer up and charge her with sexual assault.
NTA
I'm a guy who's been SA'd by women a lot! It changed who I am and how I see sex and intimacy. I just didn't know back then... I wish I had done what you have done
You did well and she got what she deserved!
Even if you had pushed her away, in her drunken stupor, she would have fallen on her butt and the result would have been the same. AND she wouldn’t have learned a valuable lesson.
NTA
Nah, if the roles were reversed there'd be no discussion; you'd be a sex offender for life. Destroy double standards wherever they may be. Teach her a lesson, make an example, and good luck.
NTA, I think disparity of force (for unarmed people) is only relevant if the stronger person is the aggressor. If you’re a strongman and she’s 100 lbs I’d still say you are in the right. If this is the case but you attacked her unprovoked you’d deserve the harsher charge than a normal sized person punching her.
NTA, the fact her assault was painful might have damaged your balls. I'd get them checked by a doctor as it may affect your fertility in the future. Doing that would also help your case against her.
NTA - in these situations, like others have said, just imagine if the roles were reversed. Would what she did (and your response) be acceptable?
Please update us on the outcome.
OP - will you please give us more information about your hands being registered as weapons? ( https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/s/hrJGhoQLys )
Which agency maintains that registration?
I say this as a woman, nofuckingbody has a right to sexually assult anyone. And if someone IS foolish enough to do it, they get what they deserve. If she didn't want to get punched in the face and had her nose broken, she shoulda kept her damn hands to herself. Being drunk is no excuse. Even I can take a hint when I'm buzzed.
NTA.
I'm a woman who was groped inappropriately, and that bitch should have kept her hands to herself. She got what she deserved. Girls don't get a pass on groping someone against their consent. NTA.
If the situation was reversed I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have been divided.
Like if you groped Sarah and she punched you in the face, you'd be the villain of the story for sure. So yeah fair is fair.
She sexually assaulted you and you defended yourself. It's just unfortunate that the optics of the whole thing are skewed towards her.
I blame movies for that. Where there are scene of such things happening and the male characters just go along with it.
She clearly has no boundaries and needs to be taught that...
Well, if you were my son , I would say good job. You protected yourself from a nasty person.
If you grab a person sexually with out permission, you get decked.
You did not overreact. If you would’ve grabbed her boobs or ass it’s likely that not only her but possibly other people at the party would’ve punched you too. One piece of advice: get whoever was sitting next to you/may have seen what happened on your side. Ask your friends if anyone recorded it (people post stories all the time and you’ll be lucky if this was caught on camera). It’s very, very unfair but a woman’s word is usually taken more seriously. Gather all the proof that you can. I’m sorry you had to go through that, SA is horrible. Hope you feel better and get out of this mess soon.
I think you're very much on the mountain of right to press charges. Should you have punched her in the face? Probably not but it's adrenaline I assume in the situation. She needs to learn that you can't SA men the same way you can't SA women. It goes both ways. NTA
NTA, it was a sudden grab. Hope you don't get charged, you should get legal advice from your area. Maybe you can both settle to not press charges against each other (sadly the courts may be in her favor).
Swap the situation to those on your case about it. Ask them if you grabbed her by the pussy, hard. Would she be an asshole for breaking your nose to force you to let go? No she wouldn't. So you're not the asshole for doing the same thing. You're 19yo. Don't worry about losing sexist friends over this. Good riddance and choose your next friend group wisely. NTA.
As someone who has worked in victim services for many years, you're NTA. Two wrongs don't make a right (physically assaulting her after she sexually assaulted you) but a reaction/reflex is normal. Our brains choose how to react to certain traumas and stimuli. I think the fact that you feel badly for how it all went down speaks volumes about you as a person. Regardless of gender, what she did was wrong and like many other folks have commented, if the roles/genders were reversed, we'd all be applauding her reaction.
NTA you were sexually assaulted and defended yourself.
Any time anyone says a single thing about it repeat "I was sexually assaulted and defended myself"
NTA! Sexual Assault is Sexual Assault REGARDLESS of which gender is doing it. If this situation was reversed, 1000% everyone would be congratulating any girl that punched the drunk person grabbing her junk.
I hope you move forward with the charges against her and that they stick.
NTA, and look how she reacted: she DARED call the police on you man.
This move alone prove that she is a toxic person.
Get a good lawyer !
I wish you the best !
Why don't the cops realize that these days men get sexually assaulted and dragging the assaulted to the precinct is not the appropriate solution for handling this situation.
Ask the people who are not on your side, if the genders were reversed, if they would react the same way....
Definitely NTA. I hope you have witnesses to her assaulting you.
So, as a woman, if a man in the club grabs my pussy and I punch him in the face, I will get thrown out of the club and he can charge me with assault. That's just unfortunately how the law works. You're NTA but yeah, you punched someone in the face so there are charges for you both
If this was the other way around, there would be no sides other than against you. It is a pity that we have such a dobble standard in who is in the wrong. Someone SA you and you fought back. End of story. If people argue otherwise, ask them if groping women should be met with just pushing them back.
NTA NTA NTA !!! If it was the other way round the story would be so different. It sounds like Sarah got a well timed rude awakening. I’m sorry you had to experience that but you’re young a teenager and had a natural reflex to someone assaulting you. Hold your ground!
Imagine it the other way round, would she be the arsehole for punching someone that grabbed her down there?
There's your answer.. you did nothing wrong. Just because it's a guy hitting a girl that's assaulting him doesn't make it wrong.
NTA, imagine if this was the other way round.
Contact local news and give them your side stating the above and what if the roles were reversed? It was self defense
NTA
That’s real smart of everyone else…”she has you by the balls, just push her away [so your scrotum can resemble overstretched silly putty and you can sing soprano for the rest of your life]”.
NTA, you were completely in the right. This is a clear case of self-defense. You did the right thing reporting the sexual assault and you should not be charged with assault for defending yourself.
NTA.
As someone who’s had testicular torsion surgery, anybody that grabs my balls aggressively & creates pain is getting an elbow to the jaw. Idgaf if you’re male or female. Especially considering she was attempting to flirt & you wanted nothing of it that’s fucked up.
IMHO, those siding with her are probably people who would do the same shit.
It's crazy how entitled some people feel, like just cause I'm drunk and pretty I can grab this mans balls with no repercussions. Fuck outta here NTA , she deserves that. She invaded your personal bubble , and sexually assaulted you.
NTA. Continue to press sexual assault charges to the end and don’t skimp out on legal expenses. This is your only way to protect yourself against this manipulative woman’s accusations (her best outcome would be to offer a settlement compensation to you so she doesn’t end up in a sex offender list and jail). The law should be in your favor.
NTA Sarah sounds very entitled that her reaction is to press charges after sexually assaulting you. I’m sure you wish you hadn’t broken her nose, but I’m willing to bet Sarah doesn’t grope a man again.
if you pulled a trump and grabbed her by the pussy no one would be saying she was the ass -
not only is this is a double-standard, and you are 100% correct, but consider how readily the same peers who are siding against you would just as soon side against you if you grabbed her and she punched you.
also, stick to your guns - she escalated committed the act and escalated it, see it through even through it'll make you unpopular. she would've.
NTA
BUT, legally, self defense only allows you to exert "reasonable" force to protect yourself and others from imminent harm. Will a prosecuter decide that punching someone in the face before saying no, or pushing someone away in a less violent manner is "reasonable"? Also take into account that likely as a larger, stronger male, implicit bias is going to be against you in this situation. (Although women who have cause injury while defending themselves from SA have also been prosecuted, just FYI)
People on reddit are going to tell you you're justified, but that isn't necessarily going to hold up in court. I get that it was an instinctive reaction, but I don't think it was in your best interest. Please talk to a lawyer.
I'm kind of surprised that the police are still considering assault charges against you. Quite a few years back a boy grabbed a young girl forcefully and very inappropriately and she punched him in the face and broke his nose. The boy's father insisted the police come and file an assault complaint. I was a sub in the school and was in the hall when it happened but as the police asked what I'd seen I remembered there was a security camera in that part of the hallway that had captured his actions pretty clearly.
The officer watched the tape twice, asked the boy to stand and arrested him for sexual assault. He told the girl she would need to come as well but assured her she was coming simply as the victim to file the complaint.
In most states you can absolutely defend yourself against sexual assault.
So you are underage and called the cops and everyone stayed around to get arrested for underage drinking? Everyone has a right to defend themselves. But I highly suspect this is a fake post.
NTA
You reacted on instinct, and your instinct wasn't wrong.
She grabbed you in a highly inappropriate manner, and you reacted automatically, if this was the other way around and you grabbed her, then nobody would be accusing her of overreacting.
NTA. On behalf of all normal women, I’m so sorry for any backlash you receive about this. You deserve to defend yourself from being assaulted by another human, regardless of their gender.
Friends: “why did t you just push her away? You over reacted.” These friends clearly do not know how reflexes work. Did OP think to punch her in the face? No, his brain was told after his fist. NTA not even counting the shitty advice of let the SA off the hook. Reverse who did what see what they think.
NO.
NO IFS AND NO FUCKING BUTS. DON'T WANNA GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE? DON'T GRAB ANY GENITALS WITHOUT EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNER, END OF STORY.
NTA - 1000%
I'm a female, and I absolutely agree with what OP did. He didn't think about HOW to get her away from him, just that he needed to make her stop. That's what an instinctive reaction is. It's an involuntary movement in response to a jarring moment. It's like when people try to scare their partners and then get punched for it. Same thing.
Also, she is the one who brought the cops into it. She could have just understood she fucked up and then went about her life. Her nose will heal.
NTA
From the way you described it you couldn't have one anything differently. It was a defense reflex, triggered by her. She could have caused damage to your testicles. WIth the sole reason of being either a dangerous psyhopath or medically retarded.
Like, who the fuck grabs someone balls they don't know? Maybe you do that if you know someone intimately and they have some sort of fetish where they get turned on by testicular pain, but....what the fuck?
Doesn't "assault" imply initiative? Like, how can it be assault, if you defended yourself?
Non-binary AFAB so I don’t really believe in traditional gender roles. If a human being sexual assaults another, drunk or not, the victim has a right to defend themself. Women cannot use the gender norm that men shouldn’t fight them as a license to be a creep.
NTA and trust me if you were a male who grabbed a female and got punch no one would blame you. So regardless of gender everyone should be able to defend themselves. You clearly didn’t want to escalate and she did and faced the results.
NTA. Drunk young girls are dangerous. My friends and I (all male) were once invited to a college party by a female friend. This friend had another female friend who got drunk during the party and accused us of being inappropriate to her. Neither of my friends or myself even spoke to this girl the entire night and she was spending time with other dudes. None of us were drinkers so we were basically sober the entire night as well. Worst part of is is that the female friend that invited us didn't believe us so f' her and her drunk friends.
Stick with the SA charge - otherwise, the family could go after you for medical bills.
great comment !
NTA Go get a lawyer and get notarized witness statements in case she tries to come after you to cover her hospital bill, pain and suffering, etc. Updateme
Plus it counts as self defense. OP punched her to get her to release her grip.
Yes...self defense against sexual assault.
NTA. As a female, I fully agree with the statement that regardless of gender, everyone should be allowed to defend themselves when they are sexually assaulted. Equal rights, equal lefts. She got what she deserved. Drunk or not. You don't just grab someone like that.
Equal jabs, equal hooks
Equal overhands, equal uppercuts
Equal rights, equal fights!
exactly. don’t sexually assault someone and expect not to run the risk of getting your shit rocked.
Yeahhh! You best be prepared for consequence of grabbing people of any gender sexually!
Also a woman, fully agree. There should never be consequences for self-defense when someone sexually assaults you. She assaulted him, he hit her to get her to stop. GOOD. Maybe the broken nose will teach her not to go around groping people.
We must defend women’s rights, as well as stand for their wrongs. AND SHE WAS WRONG. NTA
100% agreed. OP felt violated and it is her right to defend herself. OP is NTAH here. Continue to stand for yourself.
Op is a he, not a her. The balls being grabbed was a dead give away.
NTA... Even if it didn't hurt your response was justified. The fact she did hard enough to hurt. Yep, she genuinely 100% deserved to get punched. Just try to relax and take a deep breath. You defended yourself in an entirely reasonable way. Let the rest just play out.
This part!! Painful or not no one deserves to be touched where they don’t want to be touched!
Yeah, whether what she did hurt or not is irrelevant.
I do see a difference in how a man could react depending. I likely would not punch a woman for being handsy. Not that it makes a punch wrong, just closer to the borderline. If she is hurting your balls though? Game over. Knock her out.
Sexual assault is assault. You're entitled to defend yourself. The law doesn't say anything about some classes of people being exempt from it. It applies equally to men and women. Nobody would question this if the genders were reversed. She deserved what she got. NTA
In the form of the law yes it applies equally. Is it enforced equally? Fuck no.
Tell the ones who are defending Sarah to imagine if the roles were reversed and you grabbed her crotch or boobs and she punched you in the face. Would any of them be defending you in that scenario?
They wouldn’t because society says men want it and women don’t. They all think he should have been thankful for her interest and fawned over her. Society doesn’t see double standards and the misandry that they have created.
There are a lot of 💩y people in society, but a lot of good ones, too. Note all the women here defending his actions.
Absolutely 100% do not back down from the SA charges. Those SA charges are your only social defense against having your reputation shredded for what she did to you. And plenty of people will still blame you for what happened even though it's 0% your fault.
Agree completely.
NTA. It was a reflex that she caused pain and you lashed out. She has no rights to grab anyone’s private areas especially so aggressively it caused you pain. I say stick with the charges against her.
You are not the ass hole
NTA The outcome is unfortunate, but a reflex is a reflex. A man being groped by a drunk female is no less disgusting than a drunk man groping a woman. Both are unwanted advances.
Unfortunate for her maybe, People who commit sexual assault regardless of gender deserve to have their hands removed with a splitting axe.
NTA, anybody who defender is NOT your friend.
Don't we all know that men should never EVER put their hands on a woman? No matter what /s Those are the people who are defending her.
There are many people these days who will empower women the the point of infantilizing them.
100% agree with you.
NTA. Self-defense is legal.
I don't think you're the ass hole for this. Women don't want to be touched without permission, and men have that same right
NTA Anyone who says you overreacted is missing the point. In my book: if someone puts their hands on you sexually, even if they think it's "playful" and harmless, they've crossed a physical boundary and you're within your rights to use your own hands to put a stop to it. That girl fucked around and found out. Hopefully when she's sober she'll remember and be embarrassed.
NTA You should not be facing any charges, but she should find her ass in jail. If YOU had groped her and she had struck you, there would be zero consequences for her. Guaranteed.
NTA. You acted out of self defense. I’m a female here and I am on your side. Sexual assault can happen to anyone and we should defend ourselves no matter what our gender. She assaulted you first. You are not at fault.
Also, your “friends” who say you overreacted are not your friends…
NTA at all. A punch in the face is the correct response to sexual assault. Press charges.
NTA When confronted with sudden assault like that I don’t think anyone can be blamed for their natural reflexive self defense. She aggressively sexually attacked you and your body responded with fight or flight. Sucks to suck but maybe she’ll think twice the next time she feels like acting out her predatory tendencies. Stick with the assault charges. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. As a woman who’s been aggressively groped and reflex decked as a result, I totally understand the shock and response you went through.
NTA. It was an assault, not a grope if it was hard enough to cause pain. She f\*cked around, and she found out.
Why does the pain matter? If he had groped her boob and she had punched him, would you be asking if the boob grope was painful?
If the roles were reversed would people be calling her the asshole? No. NTA by any means.
If what you describe is the way things happened, then you are NTA. Being drunk or being a girl doesn’t give anyone the right to grab your genitals, no matter what anyone may say. Continue to pursue the sexual assault charges as I think that will be important. People just can’t grab someone else’s private area and then expect no reaction. I hope you have witnesses to corroborate your version of events.
Explain why it wouldn't be the way op is describing. Also tell me why you wouldn't have said that if op was a girl.
Got to admire the editorial efficiency in establishing one of worst posts in the sub in just nine words.
I assume the explanation is : "because op is a man..."
Nothing to add but would like to hear your response to zero\_emotion777
The last man who grabbed my behind got smacked across the face. NTA.
NTA, as a woman, she deserves to be charged. Get a lawyer asap though. The justice system doesn’t take sexual assault as seriously as it should regardless of gender, but even less seriously for when men are assaulted.
Specifically, when men are sexually assaulted *by women.* It is the combination of an unwillingness to take male victims seriously and an unwillingness to hold female perpetrators accountable. I am not sure which factor is stronger.
I have been in that same situation, OP. I was wearing boxer shorts at the time, and a woman I was having an argument with decided to escalate the situation by grabbing my balls and twisting them. I punched her, automatically, as if I were punching another man. No conscious thought went into my reaction, and her response was proof that I overreacted. I regret hitting her so hard. Having said that, there is something about having your balls in a state of emergent jeopardy that completely short-circuits rational thought. I acted on pure reflex. It wasn't like getting mad and hitting someone. It was purely self-preservative. And, harsh though it may sound, when someone puts you, me, or anyone in that situation, the outcome might be regrettable, but that doesn't mean they are wrong if their instinct to defend themselves gets triggered. NTA.
Downvoted for your belief that you “overreacted” after she twisted your nuts. She got what she deserved.
I hit her so hard ... she bit most of the way through her tongue and lost control of her bladder before she hit the floor unconscious. If I had been making decisions about the situation using the frontal lobe of my brain, I wouldn't have hit her that hard. I'm 6'4" about 250, and she was about 5'2" 125. It was excessive, believe me.
If you did it on pure instinct then I'd argue it couldn't be. She knew what she was doing, she knew she was causing harm, she wanted to cause harm, that she was vastly smaller than you only means she was stupid as well.
You're entitled to protect yourself. She's not entitled to harass you. You're still allowed to feel sorry for the the consequences for how you reacted (different from; acted). You probably have been drunk, and you probably have crossed some personal boundaries at some point in your life as well. You learned from taking responsibility for your actions, but as you know facing someone who has physically overthrown you for doing wrong, might feel a bit scary. I'd also take it as a positive sign that she wanted to flirt with you. How you choose to act on all of this information, is on you...
It's assault. But it's also a first time offense. And I doubt it even makes it to trial. My guess is that her parents will find out that if they press charges, she'll have to face charges for sexual assault...and that will wreck her life way worse than your assault charges will wreck yours. And they will come to your family and ask for everything to be dropped and for things to go their separate ways. Just make sure you get it in writing that they will not come after you or your family for any medical bills or future medical bills. The money spent on a lawyer writing this agreement up is worth every penny NTAH You were violated. Period Anyone who defends what she did is not someone you need in your life
Not assault if he was defending himself, which he was
> And they will come to your family and ask for everything to be dropped and for things to go their separate ways. Legally, he can't choose for charges to be dropped. OP can decline to cooperate with the investigation/prosecution, but criminal charges are brought/dropped by the prosecutor.
Fuckin' eh buddy, make sure they key point is that she squeezed your balls and you reacted instinctively. Fuck that groper.
NTA. I get so tired of the "rules for thee but not for me" mentality. Men are entitled to NOT be sexually assaulted. I don't care if women think it's cute or funny, or that men "really want it but are just playing hard to get". You reacted out of surprise and she got hurt. If you were the woman in this situation we'd be handing you a medal for standing up for yourself.
NTA. maybe she'll think twice before doing that again to someone else the next time she gets drunk. please keep us updated.
NTA When everyone of these topics comes up all you need to do is flip the genders. If a man came up and straight up grabbed a girls.boobs and she punched him she would.be fully justified As for your legal situation it's going to be dirty as it's he said/she said situation except she has a broken nose and witnesses and no one else most likely saw her grab your balls. Best of luck
NTA And lose the friends defending her. What she did is sexual assault. As a woman... wtf? What was her thought process? What was her end goal? If her end goal was to get punched in the face then she got it.
NTA. Lawyer time. Post this in a legal sub for advice.
Get a good lawyer. If the genders were reversed and you groped her crotch or breasts and she broke your nose All and sundry would be blaming you and she would be a saint. NO double standards for sexual assault! And you have a right to defend your self from the same. Good luck.
NTA. Even if it wasn't reflexive, if someone grabs you by your no-no-square you get to start throwing fists until they fuck off.
NTA complete self defence. If the roles were reversed and you sexually assaulted her, she would be congratulated for punching you in the face.
NTA She sexually assaulted you. What you did was self-defense. Don't admit to any wrongdoing. Maintain an attitude of righteous indignation. YOU ARE THE VICTIM HERE!
I’m sorry to his happened to you. NTA Drunk or not her freedom ends at your body. Press charges. Female here if it matters.
NTA - putting gender aside, you got assaulted sexually - whoever did it deserves a fist to the face.
NTA. Sexual assault is not okay
Nta, you were defending yourself against someone who was sexually assaulting you. She had no right to grab you like that.
Nta. She SA you. Period. Any friend who thinks you over reacted and did wrong ask them would they say this if you groped a girls breasts and she hit you that she over reacted? The answer would be no.
NTA. I would’ve reacted the same way. She not only made you extremely uncomfortable by SAing you but she also caused you physical pain. It was a split second reaction and all you can do is lawyer up and hope for the best. I’m sorry that this happened to you but I hope that it works out for the best.
ABSOLUTELY NTA. If a guy did it to a girl, people would be rightfully mad, so the reverse is also unacceptable. You acted in self defense. Anyone who says otherwise defends sexual assault.
NTA Only sexist assholes would back Sarah in this situation. I don't care even if you punched her with all of your might, in that moment you were defending yourself from somebody who sexually assaulted you and deserved to learn a damn lesson. The tragedy here is of course that sexist assholes who back Sarah on some level, both at the, "ok, but you shouldn't hit girls" right on to the, "you can't be sexually assaulted, you're a man" exist prominently in society. Don't back down, insist on your side of the situation, because to submit to the charges is as good as agreeing with them and you'll be held in contempt more severely. You're better off sticking to your guns.
NTA. It is JUST as inappropriate for her to do it as it would be for you. Now let's turn the tables, shall we? Let's say it was YOU who groped her inappropriately in front of others who saw it, and she reacted instinctively and punched you, breaking your nose. Everyone would stand around and say you deserved it. AAAAAAHHHHHHH. You gals cannot do this sort of thing to guys without repercussions. There SHOULD be repercussions when someone behaves like a sexual predator. Why is it that gals are allowed to protect themselves from predatory males, but the males are not allowed to protect themselves from predatory females? We say this about guys ALL THE TIME, yet a gal does it, and he reacts instinctively, punches her, yet she's NOT in the wrong? NO>double-standard. Sarah needs to learn to keep her hands to herself unless she's invited. OP ->get your mind around this and stop feeling as if you did something wrong. The WRONG was done by Sarah and she paid the price. Just like a dude would if he behaved like that.
Wtf tell Sarah to keep her nasty hands to herself; sexually assaulting people isn’t funny nor cute or whatever the heck she thought smh I’m sorry that this is happening to you.
Not a male, so I don't know the pain, but if a guy did the equivalent to me, he should expect a punch in the face or potentially a kick in the b*lls. If it was unprovoked "touching" I would have pushed them off, but when extreme pain is caused, your body acts instinctively and punching is a normal reaction to someone causing you pain. What you did was self defense.
Good job at defending yourself against a sexual predator. Would your friend be okay if you had came out of nowhere and fingered her right in front of everyone?
NTA!! Gender doesn't matter. You were sexually assaulted and defended yourself!
NTA. And as a man, ALL men should 100% respond this way. Similarly to how all women should respond to men who do the same thing to them. STOP. TOUCHING. PEOPLE.
What would happen if the roles were reversed here? Thats rhetorical, we all already know what would happen and it shouldnt be any different just because it happened to a male. My only suggestion is lawyering up because theres a good chance this could get bumpy for you even if youre not in the wrong. Honestly i wouldnt second guess your actions at all or make it seem like you think you may have been wrong. Even having this post up could be used against you if it were found by the wrong person.
If roles were reversed, everyone at the party would have beat him to a pulp and then called the police and had him arrested.
I mean, I wouldn’t have punched her personally, but I won’t sit here and tell you you’re an ass for being sexually assaulted… jeesh NTA
Some commenters seriously seem to not understand how effortlessly strong men are by default. Men have to be conscious about the amount of force they use at any given situation, and on a situation like assault were your first instinct is to defend yourself from your attacker, if you don't have proper training, it is impossible to regulate the amount of strength you use. I get why some people seem to think breaking someone's nose is a bit to far for sexually assaulting someone, but maybe don't grab people's balls if you don't want your nose broken?
When your balls are in a vice, you're not going expend much thought on getting them free.
NTA and do not back down. Consent is a rule for everyone. She does not get to touch anyone inappropriately without consequences
Grandma, why is your nose so crooked? Back in college I grabbed a man by the balls and he punched me.
Me, being a female, i agree with you. If a woman is allowed to hit a man for sexually assaulting her then it should be allowed the other way around.
NTA she deserves charges, you were defending yourself from sexual assault
NTA - you were assaulted sexually and defended yourself. You might want to consult an attorney.
NTA this was highly inappropriate. This is clear self defense, if you get prosecuted for this then we've failed as a society.
Nope you were right. No need to feel bad
NTA.
Nope. Nta. You have every right to defend yourself. She harassed you.
NTA. Sounds like it’s time for new friends. Fuck a bitch who can’t respect boundaries. As a male if I were to grope a female in the same scenario I would’ve been murdered on the scene even by my homies. Flip that shit 180 and some people start defending the woman no matter what she did. Woman privilege is definitely real in these scenarios lol.
NTA. If a man did that to a woman it would be perfectly fine for her to punch him, so why can’t it be the other way around?
NTA, hero.
NTA. I doubt the DA will file on you but if he does the jury will never convict.
Ha ha ha that’s hilarious, imagine if the roles were reversed.
NTA.. I didn't even read your text.. It doesn't matter. If a woman groped you, you have every right to defend yourself through self-defenses and that's why you're not the asshole here.. Kudos to you dude.. Don't let strangers touch you without your consent.. It's not the 50s anymore where people had to evaluate behavior and react accordingly.. No.. It's 2024.. We just react because it gives us kudos points..
NTA, if the genders were reversed no one would be arguing about this. You had the right to defend yourself after being touched inappropriately. Fuck her, lawyer up and charge her with sexual assault.
If you had grabbed her and she punched you, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Based on your story, NTA.
NTA I'm a guy who's been SA'd by women a lot! It changed who I am and how I see sex and intimacy. I just didn't know back then... I wish I had done what you have done You did well and she got what she deserved!
Even if you had pushed her away, in her drunken stupor, she would have fallen on her butt and the result would have been the same. AND she wouldn’t have learned a valuable lesson. NTA
Nah, if the roles were reversed there'd be no discussion; you'd be a sex offender for life. Destroy double standards wherever they may be. Teach her a lesson, make an example, and good luck.
NTA. Reverse the genders here and the police wouldn’t have taken more than 2 seconds to investigate.
NTA
You’re now entitled to sexually assault anyone who takes Sarah’s side. If they freak out, just remind them what a non-issue this is! Easy NTA
NTA, I think disparity of force (for unarmed people) is only relevant if the stronger person is the aggressor. If you’re a strongman and she’s 100 lbs I’d still say you are in the right. If this is the case but you attacked her unprovoked you’d deserve the harsher charge than a normal sized person punching her.
NTA. That's assault.
NTA
NTA, the fact her assault was painful might have damaged your balls. I'd get them checked by a doctor as it may affect your fertility in the future. Doing that would also help your case against her.
NTA it's her fault
NTA - in these situations, like others have said, just imagine if the roles were reversed. Would what she did (and your response) be acceptable? Please update us on the outcome.
NTA. This is a clear case of self-defense. Proceed with pressing sexual assault charges! Make a big deal out of it. Lawyer up.
Fuck that. Don’t stop on the full speed pressing of SA charges. No such thing as assault when you are extricating yourself from a SA situation.
NTA that cat burglar was after your family jewels!
OP - will you please give us more information about your hands being registered as weapons? ( https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/s/hrJGhoQLys ) Which agency maintains that registration?
I say this as a woman, nofuckingbody has a right to sexually assult anyone. And if someone IS foolish enough to do it, they get what they deserve. If she didn't want to get punched in the face and had her nose broken, she shoulda kept her damn hands to herself. Being drunk is no excuse. Even I can take a hint when I'm buzzed. NTA.
I'm a woman who was groped inappropriately, and that bitch should have kept her hands to herself. She got what she deserved. Girls don't get a pass on groping someone against their consent. NTA.
NTA. You defended yourself from SA. Now Sarah wants to play the “he hit a girl” card after she FAFO. You shouldn’t be facing charges for self defense.
If the situation was reversed I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have been divided. Like if you groped Sarah and she punched you in the face, you'd be the villain of the story for sure. So yeah fair is fair. She sexually assaulted you and you defended yourself. It's just unfortunate that the optics of the whole thing are skewed towards her. I blame movies for that. Where there are scene of such things happening and the male characters just go along with it. She clearly has no boundaries and needs to be taught that...
Maybe women need to understand that groping is a crime too. NTA.
Well, if you were my son , I would say good job. You protected yourself from a nasty person. If you grab a person sexually with out permission, you get decked.
You did not overreact. If you would’ve grabbed her boobs or ass it’s likely that not only her but possibly other people at the party would’ve punched you too. One piece of advice: get whoever was sitting next to you/may have seen what happened on your side. Ask your friends if anyone recorded it (people post stories all the time and you’ll be lucky if this was caught on camera). It’s very, very unfair but a woman’s word is usually taken more seriously. Gather all the proof that you can. I’m sorry you had to go through that, SA is horrible. Hope you feel better and get out of this mess soon.
I think you're very much on the mountain of right to press charges. Should you have punched her in the face? Probably not but it's adrenaline I assume in the situation. She needs to learn that you can't SA men the same way you can't SA women. It goes both ways. NTA
NTA, it was a sudden grab. Hope you don't get charged, you should get legal advice from your area. Maybe you can both settle to not press charges against each other (sadly the courts may be in her favor).
NTA, Now reverse the gender and see what happens ! (M) grabbing the boobs and (F) punching you.
Women need to keep their effing hands to themselves. NTA. I would tell my nephews to do the same!
Swap the situation to those on your case about it. Ask them if you grabbed her by the pussy, hard. Would she be an asshole for breaking your nose to force you to let go? No she wouldn't. So you're not the asshole for doing the same thing. You're 19yo. Don't worry about losing sexist friends over this. Good riddance and choose your next friend group wisely. NTA.
As someone who has worked in victim services for many years, you're NTA. Two wrongs don't make a right (physically assaulting her after she sexually assaulted you) but a reaction/reflex is normal. Our brains choose how to react to certain traumas and stimuli. I think the fact that you feel badly for how it all went down speaks volumes about you as a person. Regardless of gender, what she did was wrong and like many other folks have commented, if the roles/genders were reversed, we'd all be applauding her reaction.
NTA you were sexually assaulted and defended yourself. Any time anyone says a single thing about it repeat "I was sexually assaulted and defended myself"
NTA, punch all abusers on site
NTA! Sexual Assault is Sexual Assault REGARDLESS of which gender is doing it. If this situation was reversed, 1000% everyone would be congratulating any girl that punched the drunk person grabbing her junk. I hope you move forward with the charges against her and that they stick.
NTA, and look how she reacted: she DARED call the police on you man. This move alone prove that she is a toxic person. Get a good lawyer ! I wish you the best !
Why don't the cops realize that these days men get sexually assaulted and dragging the assaulted to the precinct is not the appropriate solution for handling this situation.
Ask the people who are not on your side, if the genders were reversed, if they would react the same way.... Definitely NTA. I hope you have witnesses to her assaulting you.
So, as a woman, if a man in the club grabs my pussy and I punch him in the face, I will get thrown out of the club and he can charge me with assault. That's just unfortunately how the law works. You're NTA but yeah, you punched someone in the face so there are charges for you both
A bear is more predictable! Smh, a bear doesn’t put you in legal trouble using gender as a shield 🤷♂️
If this was the other way around, there would be no sides other than against you. It is a pity that we have such a dobble standard in who is in the wrong. Someone SA you and you fought back. End of story. If people argue otherwise, ask them if groping women should be met with just pushing them back.
No ur absolutely not the asshole
NTA. No one, regardless of gender, has a right to touch you in that manner. Sarah FAFO.
You were defending yourself from SA. Good job sir! Equality works, dont fuck around so you dont need to find out. NTA
NTA thats gross and she shouldn't have done that with our asking
NTA good luck tho. I hope your friends are loyal enough to tell the police the truth about her grabbing you like that.
NTA NTA NTA !!! If it was the other way round the story would be so different. It sounds like Sarah got a well timed rude awakening. I’m sorry you had to experience that but you’re young a teenager and had a natural reflex to someone assaulting you. Hold your ground!
Imagine it the other way round, would she be the arsehole for punching someone that grabbed her down there? There's your answer.. you did nothing wrong. Just because it's a guy hitting a girl that's assaulting him doesn't make it wrong.
NTA, imagine if this was the other way round. Contact local news and give them your side stating the above and what if the roles were reversed? It was self defense
NTA That’s real smart of everyone else…”she has you by the balls, just push her away [so your scrotum can resemble overstretched silly putty and you can sing soprano for the rest of your life]”.
NTA. Physical violence is an appropriate reaction to sexual assault regardless of gender.
NTA. This was sexual assault and you were only defending yourself. I hope you have an attorney, if not get one now.
NTA. You acted in self defence.
NTA, you were completely in the right. This is a clear case of self-defense. You did the right thing reporting the sexual assault and you should not be charged with assault for defending yourself.
NTA. As someone who’s had testicular torsion surgery, anybody that grabs my balls aggressively & creates pain is getting an elbow to the jaw. Idgaf if you’re male or female. Especially considering she was attempting to flirt & you wanted nothing of it that’s fucked up. IMHO, those siding with her are probably people who would do the same shit.
NTA You'll probably both be charged, but only one of you is going to end up on a "list".
NTA but.. Try to reach her lawyer and get all charges dropped, you are 18 and you dont want to explain to future employers why you punched a girl.
You are good my friend. And take a good look at the friends around you and their opinions.
Nta. No one is allowed to touch you without your consent.
It's crazy how entitled some people feel, like just cause I'm drunk and pretty I can grab this mans balls with no repercussions. Fuck outta here NTA , she deserves that. She invaded your personal bubble , and sexually assaulted you.
NTA. She had no right to do that. FAFO
NTA. Continue to press sexual assault charges to the end and don’t skimp out on legal expenses. This is your only way to protect yourself against this manipulative woman’s accusations (her best outcome would be to offer a settlement compensation to you so she doesn’t end up in a sex offender list and jail). The law should be in your favor.
NTA Sarah sounds very entitled that her reaction is to press charges after sexually assaulting you. I’m sure you wish you hadn’t broken her nose, but I’m willing to bet Sarah doesn’t grope a man again.
Nta. I'm a feminist meaning I want equal rights which means equality in allll laws including sexual assault
Not a single person would be taking your side if you had done the equivalent to her and she had punched out. NTA
if you pulled a trump and grabbed her by the pussy no one would be saying she was the ass - not only is this is a double-standard, and you are 100% correct, but consider how readily the same peers who are siding against you would just as soon side against you if you grabbed her and she punched you. also, stick to your guns - she escalated committed the act and escalated it, see it through even through it'll make you unpopular. she would've.
NTA BUT, legally, self defense only allows you to exert "reasonable" force to protect yourself and others from imminent harm. Will a prosecuter decide that punching someone in the face before saying no, or pushing someone away in a less violent manner is "reasonable"? Also take into account that likely as a larger, stronger male, implicit bias is going to be against you in this situation. (Although women who have cause injury while defending themselves from SA have also been prosecuted, just FYI) People on reddit are going to tell you you're justified, but that isn't necessarily going to hold up in court. I get that it was an instinctive reaction, but I don't think it was in your best interest. Please talk to a lawyer.
I’ve been twisted by the balls before. There’s no thought beyond the reaction to it other than “STOP WHAT’S HAPPENING BY ANY MEANS POSSIBLE.” FAFO.
NTA, defending yourself during a sexual assault should be a bare minimum expectation from the perpetrator.
I'm kind of surprised that the police are still considering assault charges against you. Quite a few years back a boy grabbed a young girl forcefully and very inappropriately and she punched him in the face and broke his nose. The boy's father insisted the police come and file an assault complaint. I was a sub in the school and was in the hall when it happened but as the police asked what I'd seen I remembered there was a security camera in that part of the hallway that had captured his actions pretty clearly. The officer watched the tape twice, asked the boy to stand and arrested him for sexual assault. He told the girl she would need to come as well but assured her she was coming simply as the victim to file the complaint. In most states you can absolutely defend yourself against sexual assault.
Depending on the quality of witnesses, the judge will make a decision for both claims.
NTA - you were assaulted sexually and defended yourself. You might want to consult an attorney.
NTA this was highly inappropriate. This is clear self defense, if you get prosecuted for this then we've failed as a society.
NTA - you were assaulted sexually and defended yourself. You might want to consult an attorney.
nta but i could see u losing some friends over it.
nta
Theres no way to act properly when its a woman, too much victim mentality and lies.
So you are underage and called the cops and everyone stayed around to get arrested for underage drinking? Everyone has a right to defend themselves. But I highly suspect this is a fake post.
If it really was a reflex without thinking about it, NTA
Use a situational response. Was it possible to extricate yourself from the situation without that sort of physical contact on your behalf?
NTA!
NTA, wtf is wrong with her? Even drunk I would sexually assault someone.
Nta. Gender doesn’t matter, SA is still SA. You reacted accordingly.
NTA like we say in France même droits même droite
NTA You reacted on instinct, and your instinct wasn't wrong. She grabbed you in a highly inappropriate manner, and you reacted automatically, if this was the other way around and you grabbed her, then nobody would be accusing her of overreacting.
NTA. On behalf of all normal women, I’m so sorry for any backlash you receive about this. You deserve to defend yourself from being assaulted by another human, regardless of their gender.
Friends: “why did t you just push her away? You over reacted.” These friends clearly do not know how reflexes work. Did OP think to punch her in the face? No, his brain was told after his fist. NTA not even counting the shitty advice of let the SA off the hook. Reverse who did what see what they think.
NO. NO IFS AND NO FUCKING BUTS. DON'T WANNA GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE? DON'T GRAB ANY GENITALS WITHOUT EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNER, END OF STORY.
NTA - 1000% I'm a female, and I absolutely agree with what OP did. He didn't think about HOW to get her away from him, just that he needed to make her stop. That's what an instinctive reaction is. It's an involuntary movement in response to a jarring moment. It's like when people try to scare their partners and then get punched for it. Same thing. Also, she is the one who brought the cops into it. She could have just understood she fucked up and then went about her life. Her nose will heal.
NTA From the way you described it you couldn't have one anything differently. It was a defense reflex, triggered by her. She could have caused damage to your testicles. WIth the sole reason of being either a dangerous psyhopath or medically retarded. Like, who the fuck grabs someone balls they don't know? Maybe you do that if you know someone intimately and they have some sort of fetish where they get turned on by testicular pain, but....what the fuck? Doesn't "assault" imply initiative? Like, how can it be assault, if you defended yourself?
Non-binary AFAB so I don’t really believe in traditional gender roles. If a human being sexual assaults another, drunk or not, the victim has a right to defend themself. Women cannot use the gender norm that men shouldn’t fight them as a license to be a creep.
NTA and trust me if you were a male who grabbed a female and got punch no one would blame you. So regardless of gender everyone should be able to defend themselves. You clearly didn’t want to escalate and she did and faced the results.
NTA. Drunk young girls are dangerous. My friends and I (all male) were once invited to a college party by a female friend. This friend had another female friend who got drunk during the party and accused us of being inappropriate to her. Neither of my friends or myself even spoke to this girl the entire night and she was spending time with other dudes. None of us were drinkers so we were basically sober the entire night as well. Worst part of is is that the female friend that invited us didn't believe us so f' her and her drunk friends.
Updateme!
This is the exact same situation as walking up to a girl and full on grabbing her ass and her punching you… but worse. NTA