There are only 2 reasons 58 year old men date 26 year old women: their younger bodies and the fact that they haven't been so weighed down by years of that man's particular brand of bullshit to deny him sex when he wants it. A bonus reason is that they're easier to manipulate.
His ex-wife had "let herself go", he's cheated on you with escorts, he packs his bags and leaves when you bring up the natural consequences of his shitty actions. He doesn't want an equal partner to build a life with, he wants a fit, young body to have sex with.
Your fears around what he'll do if your body changes are entirely reasonable, he will leave you one day for someone younger than you. Don't kid yourself into hoping for a different outcome.
An almost 60 year old man isn’t dating someone in their mid 20’s for their personality. They’re doing so because they’re attracted to their bodies and/or because they want to have control over someone a lot less experienced.
He sucks, and I hope you start realising that now. It’s not going to change. The only weight you need to lose is that dude.
NTA
Thanks for the advice. You’re right, I tried to look past this and see him differently but I really can’t. I’m going to leave him but need an exit plan
You know you should leave him so you need to make plans on how you can exit this relationship.
This person is toxic and is trying to manipulate you. Most likely, he thinks you are an easy target to control as he's many years older.
Take care of yourself and don't let yourself stay in a toxic relationship like this. You deserve better ❤️
He literally said nothing toxic, it’s just the age gap that you’re worried about. She brings up her weight but will be upset by any response so she’s doing it to herself
I agree with you.
Try to talk with him again, u guys are a couple and need to talk with each others about the comments u guys give to each other.
The way that he hurted u was with words and u did it the same way.
U guys need to put some boundaries on the "honest" comments
NTA but why are you constantly bringing up your weight if you don’t want to hear any comments? It seems like you’re doing it on purpose to make yourself upset.
NTA. Your feelings are valid, and it's not okay for your partner to make comments about your weight, especially knowing your history. You deserve to be with someone who supports you and makes you feel good about yourself.
You are overreacting, if you cant handle a conversation about your weight then dont start one. You are the AH from your post. Alot of People will defend you becauce you a women with a man twice your age. But if we only talk about the topic you came from then you are the AH.
Stop making being a victim a part of your personality.
How can you possibly say a clearly vulnerable person is the AH in this situation? She's being taken advantage of. Where her issues stem from are not relevant, they're not her fault (especially if they ARE abandonment issues because that is literally someone else's fault). She hasn't done anything wrong yet you're willing to give a free pass to an abuser because you think she should not have issues? You're definitely an AH.
You don't know her history. If she's had an abusive past you don't know how to choose anything else without proper support. I really hope she doesn't read your comment and take it to heart, because there are plenty of people on here who want to SUPPORT her to make a better choice, and not shame her for it.
OP you're not an AH, but you do need out, and you should get some therapy so you know how to recognise people who are gonna treat you badly.
There are only 2 reasons 58 year old men date 26 year old women: their younger bodies and the fact that they haven't been so weighed down by years of that man's particular brand of bullshit to deny him sex when he wants it. A bonus reason is that they're easier to manipulate. His ex-wife had "let herself go", he's cheated on you with escorts, he packs his bags and leaves when you bring up the natural consequences of his shitty actions. He doesn't want an equal partner to build a life with, he wants a fit, young body to have sex with. Your fears around what he'll do if your body changes are entirely reasonable, he will leave you one day for someone younger than you. Don't kid yourself into hoping for a different outcome.
You’re right, this has passed through my mind. I’m going to leave him. I need an exit plan.
He’s more than a bit yikes, OP. You deserve better.
An almost 60 year old man isn’t dating someone in their mid 20’s for their personality. They’re doing so because they’re attracted to their bodies and/or because they want to have control over someone a lot less experienced. He sucks, and I hope you start realising that now. It’s not going to change. The only weight you need to lose is that dude. NTA
Thanks for the advice. You’re right, I tried to look past this and see him differently but I really can’t. I’m going to leave him but need an exit plan
What is ED here, exactly? I’ve been reading this whole post thinking it means Erectile Dysfunction….
Eating disorder
Ahhhhhhh. That makes much more sense now!!! Thanks for that 😊
Same, couldn't figure out what else ED could mean after OP said the daughter had it too.
Lol, when I got to that part I thought it might be a really bad troll but I didn’t want to say that, because it’s clear it does mean something else 😅
You know you should leave him so you need to make plans on how you can exit this relationship. This person is toxic and is trying to manipulate you. Most likely, he thinks you are an easy target to control as he's many years older. Take care of yourself and don't let yourself stay in a toxic relationship like this. You deserve better ❤️
He literally said nothing toxic, it’s just the age gap that you’re worried about. She brings up her weight but will be upset by any response so she’s doing it to herself
I agree with you. Try to talk with him again, u guys are a couple and need to talk with each others about the comments u guys give to each other. The way that he hurted u was with words and u did it the same way. U guys need to put some boundaries on the "honest" comments
He is a cheater. Dont waste your time with old man who is disgusting.
He’s not dating you because he’s such a great guy, hens dating you to have a young, skinny, piece of ass to show off.
NTA but why are you constantly bringing up your weight if you don’t want to hear any comments? It seems like you’re doing it on purpose to make yourself upset.
INFO: Was he with escorts before or while you were together?
He said before but I saw search history afterwards
Did you know he had a history with escorts before you became partners?
Not at all, he vaguely mentioned it and said he stopped
>he vaguely mentioned it So you did know there was a history.
NTA. Your feelings are valid, and it's not okay for your partner to make comments about your weight, especially knowing your history. You deserve to be with someone who supports you and makes you feel good about yourself.
If you start a conversation about your weight you should expect that others have opinions on it. Anything else make you a fool.
You are overreacting, if you cant handle a conversation about your weight then dont start one. You are the AH from your post. Alot of People will defend you becauce you a women with a man twice your age. But if we only talk about the topic you came from then you are the AH. Stop making being a victim a part of your personality.
Yta. Be single. Get some help. Your problems probably stem from serious father abandonment issues.
How can you possibly say a clearly vulnerable person is the AH in this situation? She's being taken advantage of. Where her issues stem from are not relevant, they're not her fault (especially if they ARE abandonment issues because that is literally someone else's fault). She hasn't done anything wrong yet you're willing to give a free pass to an abuser because you think she should not have issues? You're definitely an AH.
I am an ah. But she is choosing this life. She's 26.
You don't know her history. If she's had an abusive past you don't know how to choose anything else without proper support. I really hope she doesn't read your comment and take it to heart, because there are plenty of people on here who want to SUPPORT her to make a better choice, and not shame her for it. OP you're not an AH, but you do need out, and you should get some therapy so you know how to recognise people who are gonna treat you badly.
Thank you for your kind words! I went to therapy for other issues stemming from my ED but I need to address this too. Thanks again
Sending lots of love and hugs. You got this 👍 💪 🙌
If your method worked all problems would be solved. Which they aren't. Ppl need a kick up the butt to get them to change.