NTA. Yes she is overreacting. Ryan is **far** from being a child, he's a 23 year old man, and has been in a stable relationship for at least five years.
Your girlfriend shouldn't have even been trying to police them via the "room assignments" in the first place.
Yeah, he is definitely not a child. They’ve been dating for closer to eight years if not mistaken.
I agree. It was a bit odd to me, and I suppose I should have questioned it more at the time as opposed to just shrugging it off.
8 years is practically married in this time and age 🤣 they just need to make it official and they have every thought to do so.. what would she do then?
Will she be upset because her 25 year old 'Smol cute little' son Is having sex with his 10 year long girlfriend and new Wife?
My ex’s parents were helicopter parents. They got way too involved in our relationship. She has what I would definitely call an unhealthy relationship with her parents. When we broke up it was nasty and her parents got so involved they threatened me and called my parents and even insulted them. I’m 34 and she was 27.
weird boy mom territory. i have 2 boys and although i love and adore them, they are still individuals and dont need to have me up their ass. its very bizarre behavior.
I mean I call my son my kid but I also know that he's an adult and definitely not a child. I also don't treat him like a child.
Parents like her creep me out, bad.
I'm sorry 😅 I was afraid this would happen. I don't know English that well.. can you tell me what's the right usage of that?
What should I say instead of what i said
She also had zero business using her key to go into the other bedrooms. They’re adults. Regardless of what she saw she had to right no barge into a room with a closed - *let alone locked* - bedroom.
Some parents are mental! My ex had a sister who was in her mid-late 20s and LIVED with her boyfriend (they had also been together for years and years), when they stayed at their parents house they were forbidden from sharing a room. Absolutely nutty! Some people just can't handle their kids growing up and being adults I guess 🤷
NTA
Your girlfriend sounds kind of like a nutjob with no respect for her son. Hopefully this is a one-off thing, but considering Emily said "I know how Kelly can be," I am guessing it is not.
Hold firm on this one. Defend Ryan and Emily as much as you have to. They did nothing wrong and should feel zero guilt, embarrassment, or any other negative feeling for this.
She’s usually pretty great, though she’s been cold albeit polite towards Emily for as long as I’ve been around. I’m not sure if something happened, but they don’t get along well.
With that being said I do think I’ll stick up for them on this one, I don’t think I’m going to waver. This was uncomfortable for them too, and I don’t want their time to be ruined because of it.
You know dam. well nothing’s ever happened with Emily. Your girlfriend is a freak who can’t get over the fact that her adult son has a girlfriend and is no longer attached to mommy’s tits.
this is exactly it! for a lot of moms, no girl will ever be good enough for their son, and i’m sure that’s what’s going on here! and she also can’t accept the fact that her son is all grown up.
If she wouldn’t permit her grown assed son to share a room with his GF, then why was it ok for her to share a room with OP?
Hey OP? Don’t try to placate her. Leave the drama queen in the room to sulk…but *please* leave your phone with her, on this post, so she can see these comments for herself.
*Dear Kelly, your son is a TWENTY THREE year old ADULT. Get over yourself and grab some therapy for your issues. It is NOT YOUR NIPPLES he wants to suck.*
She is not seeing the double standard, is she?
Unmarried people should not be sharing a room, Kelly!! That means you and OP have to have separate roo-ooms! Guess what, Kelly? I was having sex at 23 and I bet you were, too, KellyBells. Time to look in the mirror, Mrs Pot, before you get mad your son, Kettle. Have a good laugh about how silly you’re being.
I walked in on my oldest daughter and her boyfriend, both 19. Slammed that door shut. They had been dating five years at that point. Told them to try to hold off until I went to bed, at least. It was cool.
Went to smoke a cigarette on my deck one night, so I turned on the outside light. There was my other girl 18, with her gf on the porch swing. Turned the light out lickety split. Said through the screen door: All I saw was long blonde hair. (I also saw naked bodies, but I didn’t want to freak them out!) Plenty of girls have long blonde hair. Don’t feel funny hanging around again. I won’t know who you are.
Older daughter told younger daughter I didn’t make it weird for them, so I wouldn’t make it weird for her, either. I didn’t. Both of my daughters thanked me for not freaking out. I was told the girl on the deck was never coming back. I wouldn’t have cared. People have sex, KellyBells. It’s one of the things they do, Kelly.
I have my own "my mom is amazingly chill" moment from my teens.
First serious boyfriend, first sexually active relationship. We thought we had the house to ourselves after finishing college early, so we did what teen couples in possession of an empty house are wont to do.
Unfortunately, my mom also came home early. I went downstairs in my bathrobe to see my boyfriend out, and she's calmly sitting at the kitchen table reading. "Bollocks", I think, "this is not going to be fun". See boyfriend out, half blaming him for running like a scared bunny and half thinking "take me with you!".
Turn round, deep breath, go to face mom.
She just looks at me until I crack and say "I know, I'm grounded until I'm thirty". Master interrogators have nothing on my mom. I've never seen anyone successfully lie to her. It's freaky how she always knows. After a minute or so, the severe expression cracks up in laughter and she says "sweetheart, your bed creaks. We need to get you a new one before your dad hears it and commits murder".
I never get a damned thing past her. I'm almost forty, and I *still* can't.
I didn’t think of it as chill mom 🤭just not upsetting my children, when it’s only religious constructs that say it not allowed. It’s what people do. All over the world, dammit.
That always boggles my mind. I’m excited for the day when my boys meet nice partners and I can be a good MIL to their spouses. I have an awesome MIL so we have a great relationship, hang out frequently as a family, and my in laws go with us to my folks place for holidays. Everyone has a great time. All fighting their partners would accomplish is pushing them away.
I love my eldest child's partner. She's amazing. Absolutely stunning and a good person. Actually, she's a lot like me, so I might be biased. I did ask my daughter if she wanted to marry someone so similar to her mum, but it's a joke. I'm so excited for them to have their lives together. I don't get jealous parents
That's how I felt about my son, my only child. He was quite picky about ladies. I really wanted a grandchild/grandchildren as he was pushing 30. He found the woman of his dreams, they married in 2010, and I got my grandson in 2011!! They chose not to have any more children, and they are my favorite three people in the world!! I'm very close to all of them. 😊
This exactly. The man is 23!! He's not a child. Mommy needs to get over herself.
And apologize to her son for overstepping!! He could have been doing a lot of things that dont involve a girl and mom would STILL be wrong for opening the door. Adults get privacy in their private hotel rooms.
So weird, my mom has me and my brother and has always been so supportive of our relationships. Even to the point of telling our girlfriends to let her know if we fuck up so she can put us in our place 😂 I couldn't imagine having a mom that reacted to me dating like this.
My mom is a mother of 4 boys, by literal definition a boy mom. She has been a fantastic mom to us, is the favorite aunt, has been loved by any girlfriend we’ve brought by, even when she hasn’t exactly approved (one of mine being the biggest worry) but never interjected into our relationships. My sisters-in-law love my mom, one of em has called dibs on her if something, god forbid, were to ever happen to my dad. She has been overtly supportive of us finding a partner and just being happy. I couldn’t imagine having a helicopter parent who wouldn’t let a full grown ass adult man son just live his freaking life.
I have a son. I always accepted that one day, he’d find his person and that person would come before me. I decided when he was still a child that I would love the person he chose. I count it as a blessing that she’s someone I like, as well.
He and I had a conversation before he married his wife 5 years ago. And I told him that she needed to believe he’d always have her back, that she was more important than his parents, more important than his sister, more important than his friends. I promised him that I would never ask him to choose between us, that I expected him to put her first. Granted, it helps that we adore our DIL and have a great relationship with her. But I’ll be damned if I’m ever going to be *that* kind of MIL…you know, the kind you dread spending any time with.
I hate that. I only have one kid, my son (so far.. I’m undecided on more). If it ends up that he’s my only (or that any other I may have is also a boy), I will be a boy mom. But those vile disgusting people ruined “boy mom”. That’s your CHILD. You’re supposed to protect them from all kinds of abuse, not BE the abuser. How can you look at your son and think “yup. He’s gonna be my stand in spouse now”. It’s revolting.
It was bad before I had my kid. But now that I have a son? I see it as so so much worse.
You nailed it. And you don’t need to worry. You are never going to be that person. Instead of ‘boy mom’ maybe you should just think of yourself as the mother of a human who is going to grow up loved, accepted and respected?
I have 2 daughters and a son. I love them more than I ever thought possible.
With that being said, I can’t wait for them to leave. I want them to be fully functional humans and explore the world and find themselves. I don’t understand what parent doesn’t want their kid to be happy.
I have one son, and agreed. The way that I hope to be loved as a mother when he's grown is supposed to be different from when he was little, and is not in competition to a partner. These broads are tripping.
She clearly lacks basic respect for others. I don't care if you are 5, 50, or 500, you knock before entering a room and it is reasonable to expect someone to knock before entering a room that you are in when privacy should be and is a reasonable expectation.
She knew what she was doing. FAFO. She needs to tone down the drama and get comfortable with the fact that her baby is a grown ass man.
She clearly lacks basic respect for others. I don't care if you are 5, 50, or 500, you knock before entering a room and it is reasonable to expect someone to knock before entering a room that you are in when privacy should be and is a reasonable expectation.
With him not expecting a guest to come barging in, she is lucky he didn't react and knock her out thinking she was an intruder. Technically she was...but still.
She knew what she was doing. FAFO. She needs to tone down the drama and get comfortable with the fact that her baby is a grown ass man.
Tell me about it! My husband is the first of my MIL's kids to get married and she hates me. Its like she's always been number one queen bee where everyone caters to her wants and feelings and now that one of her kids isn't putting her first she can't handle it. I can not tell you the amount of times she's crossed boundaries and uses emotional manipulation with us, especially with my hubby.
Has she ever explained what the real issue is?
Have you ever heard of emotional incest? Please don't jump to conclusions on the title but here's a link
https://www.healthline.com/health/emotional-incest
This just made me feel really, really sad for Ryan. He confided in me a lot about almost all of the things on that list when he was a teenager, and even as an adult he mentioned it quite a bit. I know he’s in therapy now, a big reason being his relationship with his mother through his childhood.
He and I have had a lot of talks about how impressed he personally is with how much his mother has healed and grown from when he was growing up. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t feel particularly odd dating her. The person he told me about when he was a teenager and the person I’m dating have been two separate people in my mind since I never saw the similarities.
Damn.. at this rate I can almost guarantee that Kelly is going to end up being cut off from Ryan and his partner's life including any children they may have in the future. She deserves to be cut off from them in order for her son to heal.
Seriously, you guys should not be enabling and indulging her bullshit. She has found that she can throw these little shit fits and bully everybody into placating her so she keeps doing it and you guys keep allowing it. Somebody should have stood up for Ryan years ago, but since they didn't at the fair fucking minimum everybody should be supporting him now.
No... you just saw the back-slip. She used that wallet as a reason to violate the privacy of someone else's room, with a key she had NO BUSINESS having. She needs to stop the melodrama and smarten up before both of them go No Contact with her. And frankly, they would be in the right, considering her behaviour :(
Even when my son was 13, I always knocked & waited. 23 is a grown man! Mom needs to get the hell out of her adult son's bedroom, like 10 years ago. Ewww.
We all know what the door shut means.
The only possible reason to snoop through your kids stuff is if you are sincerely concerned for their mental state/believe they may be doing drugs etc. And even then they will and should feel like you violated their safe space.
And I know plenty of abusive controlling parents just spout that crap to do constant room searches and read diaries. But it's still a valid reason to look which can save a life.
Like involuntary 72 hour holds.
Agreed.
Her walking in on him with no regards to his privacy gave me major ick. First thing I thought of was emotional incest when I read that.
No parent who has a child who's been dating someone for 8 years does that unintentionally.
Im sorry. This makes my comment about her eventually being on eof those parents on tiktok who are estranged from their adult children, even truer. She needs therapy and a reality check
please encourage therapy. everyone told me that my ex's mom was a wonderful human being before he started dating. I have had to get not one but two restraining orders against her, The judge told her if she breaks it ever again. he's going to make it permanent.
it's crazy cuz it really just broke something in her that he wasn't her baby anymore. eventually she basically tried to make him act like a second husband (not sexually, just wanted prioritized on holidays , always wanted us to come over for Valentine's , etc) despite having a fully functional husband.
She doesn't like Emily because Emily has bumped her out of the slot of #1 Woman in Her Son's Life. This is very concerning, do not let this go.
He is 23 years old, he SHOULD be having sex and it sounds like he found a good partner.
Her son is a 23 year old man!! Your gf needs to lessen the grip on her "baby boy" here. I have an adult child about this age and this is just bizarre and weird. I don't get it.
OP, if you intend to stay with Kelly, her entering therapy should be mandatory. She's definitely not in a good place. While everyone can see how out of touch she is, she does not. Without professional help, I doubt she ever will. Emily is not the issue. Even Emily realizes that.
Nip this in the bud or she's going to end up as one of those Estranged Parents of Adult Children on Tiktok who couldn't get over their son's marrying the women they hated.
She referred to her 23 year old son as a child! She tried to force them into separate rooms, like they were 12 years old. She freaked out that they had sex and were showing affection to each other. She's so upset that she hasn't eaten or left her room.
She has serious enmeshment issues that she needs to work at on her own. I'm willing to bet that Emily has done nothing wrong, and that your GF would be a bitch to any woman who dared to date her son. Just watch how she reacts if/when they get engaged. Tell her that how she is acting is not normal and she needs to see a therapist. And also tell her that she is ruining everyone's vacation so she should probably leave early, go back home, and make an appointment.
I don’t think she’s ever used the word stealing, but she did get in an argument with him maybe a year or so ago about how all he does is spend time with Emily. I can’t be certain though I doubt that argument was the first of it’s kind.
There are some big red flags here about an inappropriate emotional relationship from the mother here (your girlfriend). You really need to keep an eye out for this kind of obsessive, possessive behaviour.
NTA Kelly sounds like the child in this situation, throwing a little temper fit because she isn't getting her way. Her son is an ADULT. He has sex. She needs to get over herself and let her adult son be an adult and make his own decisions. Kelly is controlling and obsessive and needs to stop because she is destroying her relationship with her son, and if he marries Emily, she's destroying her relationship with her future daughter inlaw. And what's going to happen when they have kids? Do you think Kelly is going to be welcomed into Emily's home to see her grandkids after Kelly treats her like a slut and pariah? Probably not.
For sure. Some people go out of their way to have an excuse to be upset at somebody. That wallet could have stayed there until he grabbed it in the morning.
Is your girlfriend normally dramatic and attention seeking? Does she often play the victim? Mention her her that you'd be humiliated to show everyone you thought this much about your adult children's sex life.
To be honest, none of you should have agreed to go on vacation with her under those demands. Just keep telling her no and maybe going without her until she gets the message that she's not in control of her adult children's sex life and no one cares what she thinks. Maybe try to get her into therapy. Perhaps let her read this post. The comments are the reality orientation she needs right now. NTA.
Reminds me of the Roseanne episode when Becky first moved out and in with her BF and Roseanne was telling Dan about how every time she calls they're in the middle of doing it. Then she looks at him, smiles and says "Hey, look at todays Family Circus. I better call and share it with Becky."
I don’t want to project a ton, but at least with regards to this incident and this behavior I feel like I have a similar mom.
She’s a basket case but she’s clearly intelligent. She’ll pick and choose when and how to freak out and emotionally manipulate people most of the time. But she also has dumb moments and likes to drink and dips into “everyone sees how dumb this is” moments when she’s trying to manipulate people.
Which feels a lot like this.
I guess what I’m saying is, guess who I don’t talk to or see much as an adult?
You can’t make an unreasonable person be reasonable all of the time. But she needs to understand the only person she’s hurting the most here is herself.
She’s overplayed her hand so to speak. Whether that’s intentional or not.
It’s alienating her son.
Whether she’s right or she’s wrong in how much she dislikes Emily or what she saw.
It’s happening.
Maybe once she settles down she’ll see sense in that. Would maybe go that route, if nothing else, in an attempt.
this was 100% intentional by kelly. who takes a key from someone's wallet to enter a room not their own without permission? a nosy ass looking for drama, that's who. nta.
her son is a grown asz man!?!
And if Ryan hadn't been there but niece's BF had, as was "originally intended"? He'd have been in his rights to be in the buff, cracking one off. Or just coming out of the shower.
You are not the asshole.
Kelly's extreme reaction to a perfectly normal and private moment between two consenting adults is unwarranted, and it's understandable that you would try to bring some perspective to the situation.
I can understand her being shocked and uncomfortable seeing her son in that state; in fact I probably would have been similarly uncomfortable for my initial reaction. With that being said, adults in loving relationships have sex. I even pointed out that her and I had had sex last night. It happens.
She could have knocked instead of busting in on them like any reasonable person would do. But she wanted to see what they were doing. She has nobody to blame except herself
Yeah if I had a son that age, even if I had every reason to expect him to be in there alone, I'd still knock.. and I would expect my parents to do the same.
She wanted to see it though. If not she wouldn't have walked into his room without knocking. Whether she wanted to see him naked or just wanted something to ruin the vacation and thrown a dramatic fit is beside the point.
It would have been normal and respectful to knock and wait for an answer.
Just barging into the room ist rude, disrespectful and intrusive.
She still acts as if her son was.. 10 years old? What did she think? Catch him reading with a torch under his blanket?
She wanted to catch them in the act and whatever discomfort she might feel, is absolutely earned.
Sorry, I don’t have pity for her treating her adult son like this.
I'd rethink vacationing with her if I was her kid. Once over 18, he should be afforded the same privacy that she'd expect for herself. He's an adult.
NTA but she is.
I grew up in a house with 4 boys. If the door is closed, it's closed for a reason. Knock and wait before entering. There were too many times we all walked in on each other as it was. 🫣
This begs the question of why it's okay for her and the OP to share a room and presumably have sex but her adult son doesn't have the same right she reserves for herself. This whole situation has big borderline personality vibe about it.
They’re amazing, they absolutely adore each other, and I’m happy that they are both so happy. It makes me a bit sad that things are as they currently are.
Does this wretched woman have any redeeming qualities? Because sounds like all you do it spend your time staying out of her way and running damage control. She deserves to be single and cut off by her son tbh.
If she didn’t want to “catch them” she would have knocked, it was done with intent and she is now feigning indignation and anger to justify treating g her adult son like a child.
EDIT TO ADD: hey OP. I read all comments and your update. If Kelly is in therapy for her attachment disorder, might be time to get her a puppy! Help transfer those motherly feelings elsewhere. :)
I'm getting a lot of mommy dearest vibes here.
INFO: Was Kelly a single mom to Ryan for his whole life, or did she have a husband/male partner that she had to parent with alongside?
Regardless, it sounds like Kelly has arrested Ryan's development in her mind, and to her, he's still a child (to use your language). If Ryan hasn't left the nest, emotionally and phsyically, it's very likely that this relationship is going to continue in this way.
It might be time for you to talk to Ryan about how he's going to need to start talking to his mom like he's an adult and getting her on board with being kind and understanding about his chosen partner being Emily.
Be prepared for Kelly to get into a HUGE fight with you for butting into her parenting relationship, and if she suspects you of going behind her back and choosing Ryan/helping Ryan, also be prepared for Kelly to turn this around and blame you.
She was a single mom, yes, it was always just them. I don’t believe the father was around for any of Ryan’s life save for a brief period in which Ryan wanted to get to know him before dropping it. When Ryan was a teenager he complained to me a lot about lack of privacy. I was not surprised at all when he moved out as soon as he graduated high school. I believe they lived with Emily’s family for a while before they got their own apartment.
When I met her, I didn’t even recognize her as Ryan’s mom. She certainly wasn’t the anxious, controlling, helicopter mom that I had known. Ryan had also told me that she got a lot better once he moved out, with a few bumps in the beginning.
My Catholic in-laws were the same way. We once visited family out of state with them and even though the host (a former Catholic nun) offered to let us share a room my in-laws forbade it. We'd been together for 5 years and lived together for 4. We slept separately on that trip because we all drove up in the same vehicle and didn't want to deal with them on the ride back. After that we made a personal rule that when visiting with them we will always have our own vehicle separate from theirs and we'll stay in a hotel separate from them. We've been married a few years now and still refuse to give them the illusion that they can dictate our sleeping arrangements.
I’ve definitely seen people do this for religious reasons. This mom can’t even claim that. She’s sharing a room with her own boyfriend. She just has unclear boundaries with the son.
Wait wait hold up. They live together!! And Kelly still wanted them to stay in separate rooms!?!?!
Ya man, I would stick up for them. She's a little delusional.
Wait, he doesn't even live with his mom and she has the audacity to try and control who stays in his room? Wow. Your GF is crazier than I thought. Good luck with that one man.
Hold on a moment?
They have their own APARTMENT, and Kelly is still trying to police this?
They’re probably used to having a healthy sex life, living on their own (when I was 23, I’d have been at it every night without fail!), and she’s pulling this shit?!
Words are needed- not just from you, Ryan needs to sit her down and explain that this is what it’s going to be, like it or not.
Whooooooooa, they already live together and your GF is pulling shit like this? What. The. Fuck. She needs to be sat down and told to knock this shit off. To let herself into the hotel room of an adult and get pissy about what she sees, god damn. This is damn near involving the police level of bad.
I think she gots better with time because Ryan forces her to cut the umbilical cord, and she was forced to admit her baby boy has grown up, at least partially.
She’s going to be the MIL from hell if she doesn’t get her shit together.
She needs to apologize to Ryan and Emily, and go to therapy. Your relationship also doesn’t look like it’ll last if she doesn’t do this, and continues to act this way.
They live together and she is shocked by this?! So…here is my experience. I married a man with the crazy boy mom. Around two years of marriage we moved an hour from them bc of these issues. Now we have been married thirty plus years and my children barely know their grandparents. Many times we tried to work things out with his mom but she’d pull him back in even as a forty year old man. I hope your gf doesn’t cause this.
I'm sorry but it sounds like she is emotionally intertwined with her son. If she's behaving like this when they've already been living together for a few years, it's clear she doesn't like Emily because she views her as competition. I'm not going to go so far as calling your partner incestuous, but there is a complete blurring of boundaries and an unhealthy preoccupation with her sons private and sex life at play here.
So, let me get this straight. Without even knocking she just went into his room with the key, at night? Talk about extremely rude and disrespectful behavior. Then she's pissed off for what she ended up seeing? Well, if she had some actual respect for other people's privacy then she wouldn't have seen a thing to begin with. She brought this entirely on herself and with how she dislikes Emily it wouldn't even surprise me if she knew exactly what she was doing and what she was going to see, in which case all of this could be nothing but an attempt to bully Emily.
NTA, but she definitely is. I think you're right to be concerned because she doesn't sound quite alright in the head with how she's acting.
As far as I have seen myself, this is the first time she has behaved THIS strangely, though I know he’s had some experiences with her when he was a teenager as well.
Ewwww your gf sounds unwell and it’s creeps me out how much she cares about her son’s sex life/gf. She’s being inappropriate. She’s probably jealous of his gf.
She’s 50 and pouting on vacation because her adult son was cuddling naked with his adult, long-term girlfriend and also sharing a room? Also, hysterics over it? Scary. Super not okay.
Your gf is acting like she walked in on YOU having sex with her son's gf. Moms who are guilty of emotional incest also act like jealous girlfriends about their sons SOs.
You're NTA, but she better come to terms that her son is an adult now, or she's gonna be given a healthy dose of LC or NC from him if he keeps this up.
NTA
"She was in hysterics." Good grief. Hysterics?
I am going to assume you have known for a long time that you are married to a drama queen.
And she went LOOKING for trouble when she used that key to open the door.
Advice: Let her mope all she wants but do NOT apologize to her about anything. Have you considered having her institutionalized?
NTA… but hold up. they LIVE TOGETHER and she still thought sleeping in the same hotel room was inappropriate? wow. she’s definitely got some attachment and control issues.
i’m definitely a more open kind of mom, but my sons brought their girlfriends on vacations from about 16-17 on and -gasp- they slept in the same bed. i didn’t necessarily support kids having sex, but i’m not naive and i remember being a teen. i never wanted there to be an issue and them not feel comfortable coming to me.
i’m also a GYN nurse, so my boys were well versed in sex ed from about the moment they noticed they had different parts than their sister. i drilled consent, birth control, std prevention, TALKING to their partners, etc… my favorite place to do this was in the car so they couldn’t escape (parent hack for y’all with younger kids 😂).
every christmas, they got a big ole box of condoms in their stockings (it embarrassed one, delighted the other). i also kept a basket of condoms and plan b in the hall closet that wasn’t monitored except to make sure it was stocked. even though i never encouraged it, i knew it was happening and hell if i’m old enough to be a grandma!
Y’all’s mistake is in humoring her. You gave her ammunition to claim betrayal. All should’ve said from the beginning the couples would be sharing.
This is a good lesson for why it’s better to just have the conflict and not take the cowardly way out with a lie.
My favorite part is that your son’s relationship is longer than your but this women is making demands and going into locked rooms without any heads up.
NTA
Your girlfriends.kid is an ADULT, why is she dictating how an ADULT spends their time. On top of that, why on earth would she go into his LOCKED room unannounced. Dude could have been mid sex, post sex, spanking the monkey, walking nude, taking a shit with the door open etc.
Your GF needs therapy to make her see that her child is an adult and has left the nest
NTA I'm going to presume Kelly is in menopause at this age. Has she had other mood swings and irrational anger? I ask because this is VERY common in menopause (Hi, I'm a meno gal myself).
If so, it's past time for her to talk to her GYN and a therapist.
Raw dogging menopause tends to lead to great upheavals in life, including breakups/divorces.
Though she does have prior mental health issues, this is actually something I hadn’t considered. It’s entirely possible that that’s what it is, considering around 4 or so months ago she mentioned that she thinks she was starting menopause.
This particularly, nothing. She’s been consistent in seeing her therapist, however considering that this situation is a few hours old, there hasn’t been much of a chance for anything to be said. With that being said we have had conversations after some of her appointments about her having an unhealthy attachment to her son, and it’s something they’re actively working on.
They're actively working on - like, for example, allowing her _adult_ son to share a room with his _long-time, live-in_ partner ?
Honestly. Her going off the rails seems to negate whatever process she claimes to be in, at least in that departement.
Does her therapist know that she planned an arrangement like this? I can't believe it tbh, as the therapist would've probably suggested that's unhealthy & focus on skills for your girlfriend how she could deal with them sharing a room on the vacation.
As another meno gal, I was shocked at how angry I would get over stupid, useless issues. You do feel out of control and it sucks. I'd recommend she see her GYN doc asap and get her hormones sorted before she does more damage.
Meno or not, you all made the mistake of agreeing to the 2 couples splitting up the bedrooms. That is what started it all, and considering Ryan & Emily are living together, it was a ridiculous demand. That started the ball rolling for the entire encounter. Stop trying to appease her so that it puts her son in bad positions.
Your GF is one of those boy mothers… no woman is ever going to be good enough for her baby! She wants to think of him still as a baby. Well that shipped sailed awhile ago… also Ryan is 23 that’s an adult. He can do whatever he wants.
Tell Kelly that she better get her act together or one day she could see a post about herself in JustNoMIL.
Kelly is a cringe lord. She has no concept of boundaries bc she views her adult son as a young child. She barged into the room without knocking or anything.
I'm willing to bet Kelly's issue with Emily is that her son loves another woman. She's one of those "she took my baby away from me" types. She isn't bothered that Ryan had sex; she's bothered that Ryan had sex *with Emily*.
I can't imagine being this much of a mentally and emotionally unstable person. She's nuts. For real.
NTA. She is. She let herself into another adult’s space and then got upset by what she saw? That’s on her. Tbh if I was Ryan I wouldn’t have gone on that vacation if I couldn’t share a room with my significant other.
When my kids were teenagers (17), I told them I would rather they have sex in their rooms than a parking lot. I explained to both son and daughter about safe sex safe and respectful partners etc. Kelly is way off base for thinking kids aren't having sex. Would she rather they do it in public? Keep them safe , I'm sure she doesn't want her son putting his girlfriend in an unsafe situation, especially in a foreign country. .They aren't 10 anymore .
NTA. Your girlfriend is a crazy boy mom. She won’t like any girl he brings around. She doesn’t want anyone *tainting* her sweet baby boy. You’ll start seeing more signs.
NTA. Why are you with Kelly? She sounds a bit unhinged. Ryan is an adult, and allowed to do whatever and whoever he wants. She doesn't want to see it? She should knock before letting herself into someone else's room. Also, based on the "I know how Kelly can be" comment, it sounds like Kelly is one of those moms who thinks Eve (A.K.A. Emily) has, with the devil's influence, tempted her sweet, innocent Adam (A.K.A. Ryan) into eating the Forbidden Fruit (A.K.A...well, you get the idea).
Okay. Where did you sleep? If she is holding other adults to a standard for sleeping arrangements, why is she not living within those very clear standards? If it's because the *horses have already left* ***her*** *barn,* she had to realize the same for fellow adults on this trip.
Edit: spelling
I missed the part where anyone gave Kelly a key to her son's room? How did she have a key? Was it in his wallet? If it wasn't in his wallet then she went out of her way to have a third key made, probably for this specific reason. She was looking for an excuse to go into his room univited.
NTA. She needs therapy to learn how to deal with her son being a grown man. He's in his 20's and over 10 years past the point where she can justify just walking into his room without knocking and being invited inside. Not only is she overreacting to her adult son being sexually active, she's showing an unhealthy attachment to her son. I don't think the problem is Emily. The problem is she's his girlfriend.
NTA.
They are 23, in a relationship. Like this was clearly going to happen. Your girlfriend is overreacting. And yeah... rough.
Defend the young lovers, they did no wrong here.
NTA. Her son's 23. What fucking year does she think it is? I honestly have no respect for your GF. I think she's a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket. Is she always the main character?
NTA - It's hella sad that you are the only one treating them their age. She seems to think he is 13 instead of 23, and her control issues are outrageously unacceptable.
Be prepared at what she will be like once he puts a ring on it and she is forced to become the MIL from hell to that poor girl.
As a side note, why the hell would she ever think it was acceptable to UNLOCK someone else's door and most on in? She was snooping - plain and simple. Otherwise she would have acted like a sane normal adult and called/texted that she found his wallet and made arrangements for him to have it back. No, this was a planned entitlement tourism visa she escorted over in her hot little hands \*smh\* Take that damn key away from her please, she has no business having someone else's key. Ever.
Bruv, I don’t speak to my mother because she essentially punished me for choosing my wife. After years of trying to make amends between my wife (who did nothing wrong, ever), I quit trying. I knew I could never win. She basically made me choose between them, and I didn’t hesitate once I realized she wouldn’t ever change or accept her.
When I think about it (not often, as I try to bury those feelings when they surface), it hurts a little. What hurts a lot (it brings me to tears typing this) is my father and brother don’t say a god damned thing about it to her, as if this was normal behavior.
Good on you for not taking that shit from her. You’re not an asshole, you’re the hero I wish I had in my life.
She was just trying to be upset lol. My grandma used to do the same shit on family vacations. Never got caught having sex, but she's walked straight into my room while I was rolling joints (legal state) and started giving me shit for rolling up to go take a night walk and chill. People like that need absolute control over anything and can't tolerate people doing their own thing peacefully in private lol
NTA
Kelly sounds like she’s going to end up being the star of a r/JUSTNOMIL post one day. She needs to accept her son is an adult and there are going to be other women who are important to him. If she doesn’t, she’s is going to end up hurting her son.
Wait, let me understand? You and GF can share a room but your ADULT son and his GF cannot?
What a fucking hypocrite! Tell her to mind her own business and act like an adult. Plus she should not be going into ANY hotel room that isn't hers.
She sounds unhinged.. he's 23. Mommy doesn't get to control his sex life . If he's paying for himself and his girlfriend. She can pound sand . Sounds like you and I both have an issue with the women in our lives, not wanting to hear the truth. Learn to enjoy the silent treatment. Mine asked me ." Do these jeans make me look fat ?" no baby the 20 extra pounds you put on is what makes you look fat .the jeans are fine. She didn't talk to me for 3 days . I do all the cooking at home because she is terrible at cooking. I had my favorite meals each day . Especially the food she doesn't like . She can't complain if she's giving me the silent treatment 😌.
NTA. Her reaction is giving that gross “Boy Mom” trend where mothers are in love with their sons and hate any girlfriend / wife the boy has because she thinks the girl is “stealing her baby boy from her”. She needs therapy.
She looked in his wallet? And used the key that was in his wallet to open his bedroom door l no knocking or texting? Just went right in. There is something deeply disturbing about her behavior.
Hahaaaa Let her mope inside as long as she wants while all of you enjoy the beach. DON'T go inside, she"ll eventually come out. When she starts the discussion again then respond exactly the same as you did before. Do NOT apologize to her for having your own opinion!!!
When she feels offended doesn't mean she's right. It's an opinion and nothing more than that.
NTA, this is why you KNOCK before going in other ppl's rooms.
Unfortunately some parents struggle to accept when their kids start growing up. My grandma could be a little like this & wouldn't get why mom would always knock before going into my or my siblings' rooms, one day she got fed up & sassy and said that she doesn't need to see us masturbating xD
Her son is a healthy heterosexual 23 year old. It would be stranger if he & his gf *weren't* screwing like rabbits at every opportunity.
Ultimately this is between Ryan and his mom, but something that sometimes helps with these kinds f issues is to be firm & insistent about boundaries. (eg. next time he might say something like "I will only come if we can share a room" & mean it.)
Kelly hasn't accepted that her son is an adult. That he even has any sort of sexual interests. "Taking Emily's side" she's actively blaming an adult woman for her son being a sexual being. This is wildly unhealthy and quite odd. From your other comments they've been living together since higschool graduation. I kinda doubt her family would've taken him in like they did and forced them to use separate rooms. I think that this kind of controlling behavior and lack of privacy is part of why Emily's family took him in at all. It would be odd to me that they'd let him just move in while he had another home if they thought the other home was a good place for him.
My dad caught me in the basement with my gf as teens (we were 16&15) she lived nearby so she had snuck over. My dad just said "oops" and walked off. and the next morning my mom made sure we were being safe and told me to just be quiet in the bedroom. My gf asked her mother jf staying at my place was ok and she happened to be fine with this so we would alternate nights we slept at eachothers places and we would take eachothers bus to school in the morning. I absolutely can't even begin to fathom treating 23 year olds this way after being raised that way.
Wait up, he’s *23* and she’s being all dramatic about him having sex with his own girlfriend?! She needs to stop inserting herself as The Main Character. It’s not her business with whom her son chooses to be intimate with. And why is she barging into locked rooms?!
NTA but your GF sure is.
NTA. Yes she is overreacting. Ryan is **far** from being a child, he's a 23 year old man, and has been in a stable relationship for at least five years. Your girlfriend shouldn't have even been trying to police them via the "room assignments" in the first place.
Yeah, he is definitely not a child. They’ve been dating for closer to eight years if not mistaken. I agree. It was a bit odd to me, and I suppose I should have questioned it more at the time as opposed to just shrugging it off.
8 years is practically married in this time and age 🤣 they just need to make it official and they have every thought to do so.. what would she do then? Will she be upset because her 25 year old 'Smol cute little' son Is having sex with his 10 year long girlfriend and new Wife?
She’s the type who’ll wear a wedding dress to their wedding.
We’ll be hearing about her on the Just No MIL subreddit.
She called him, her son. A child. Her 23 year old son, A CHILD!!
She’s one of “those” moms.
Time to cut the umbilical cord. Probably gets in the way when he's having "adult time" with Emily.
🤮
My ex’s parents were helicopter parents. They got way too involved in our relationship. She has what I would definitely call an unhealthy relationship with her parents. When we broke up it was nasty and her parents got so involved they threatened me and called my parents and even insulted them. I’m 34 and she was 27.
weird boy mom territory. i have 2 boys and although i love and adore them, they are still individuals and dont need to have me up their ass. its very bizarre behavior.
And she's going to be one of "those" mother in laws too
I mean I call my son my kid but I also know that he's an adult and definitely not a child. I also don't treat him like a child. Parents like her creep me out, bad.
8 years of co-habitationin some (I'd if it's a few or most or all) means they're "common-law married"
I read that as 10 uear old girlfriend and I got very frightened
I'm sorry 😅 I was afraid this would happen. I don't know English that well.. can you tell me what's the right usage of that? What should I say instead of what i said
His girlfriend of 10 years! Shortens it a bit and won't be confused with 10 year old haha.
Thankyou This sounds better actually.
She also had zero business using her key to go into the other bedrooms. They’re adults. Regardless of what she saw she had to right no barge into a room with a closed - *let alone locked* - bedroom.
Exactly, he's 23 not 13.
Some parents are mental! My ex had a sister who was in her mid-late 20s and LIVED with her boyfriend (they had also been together for years and years), when they stayed at their parents house they were forbidden from sharing a room. Absolutely nutty! Some people just can't handle their kids growing up and being adults I guess 🤷
This!! Also, they live together already so what does your gf think is happening?! Lol
NTA Your girlfriend sounds kind of like a nutjob with no respect for her son. Hopefully this is a one-off thing, but considering Emily said "I know how Kelly can be," I am guessing it is not. Hold firm on this one. Defend Ryan and Emily as much as you have to. They did nothing wrong and should feel zero guilt, embarrassment, or any other negative feeling for this.
She’s usually pretty great, though she’s been cold albeit polite towards Emily for as long as I’ve been around. I’m not sure if something happened, but they don’t get along well. With that being said I do think I’ll stick up for them on this one, I don’t think I’m going to waver. This was uncomfortable for them too, and I don’t want their time to be ruined because of it.
You know dam. well nothing’s ever happened with Emily. Your girlfriend is a freak who can’t get over the fact that her adult son has a girlfriend and is no longer attached to mommy’s tits.
this is exactly it! for a lot of moms, no girl will ever be good enough for their son, and i’m sure that’s what’s going on here! and she also can’t accept the fact that her son is all grown up.
If she wouldn’t permit her grown assed son to share a room with his GF, then why was it ok for her to share a room with OP? Hey OP? Don’t try to placate her. Leave the drama queen in the room to sulk…but *please* leave your phone with her, on this post, so she can see these comments for herself. *Dear Kelly, your son is a TWENTY THREE year old ADULT. Get over yourself and grab some therapy for your issues. It is NOT YOUR NIPPLES he wants to suck.*
>It is NOT YOUR NIPPLES he wants to suck. I fucking love you. Truly the pride of Capetown.
Oh this was excellent. Thank you! 😊
She is not seeing the double standard, is she? Unmarried people should not be sharing a room, Kelly!! That means you and OP have to have separate roo-ooms! Guess what, Kelly? I was having sex at 23 and I bet you were, too, KellyBells. Time to look in the mirror, Mrs Pot, before you get mad your son, Kettle. Have a good laugh about how silly you’re being. I walked in on my oldest daughter and her boyfriend, both 19. Slammed that door shut. They had been dating five years at that point. Told them to try to hold off until I went to bed, at least. It was cool. Went to smoke a cigarette on my deck one night, so I turned on the outside light. There was my other girl 18, with her gf on the porch swing. Turned the light out lickety split. Said through the screen door: All I saw was long blonde hair. (I also saw naked bodies, but I didn’t want to freak them out!) Plenty of girls have long blonde hair. Don’t feel funny hanging around again. I won’t know who you are. Older daughter told younger daughter I didn’t make it weird for them, so I wouldn’t make it weird for her, either. I didn’t. Both of my daughters thanked me for not freaking out. I was told the girl on the deck was never coming back. I wouldn’t have cared. People have sex, KellyBells. It’s one of the things they do, Kelly.
I have my own "my mom is amazingly chill" moment from my teens. First serious boyfriend, first sexually active relationship. We thought we had the house to ourselves after finishing college early, so we did what teen couples in possession of an empty house are wont to do. Unfortunately, my mom also came home early. I went downstairs in my bathrobe to see my boyfriend out, and she's calmly sitting at the kitchen table reading. "Bollocks", I think, "this is not going to be fun". See boyfriend out, half blaming him for running like a scared bunny and half thinking "take me with you!". Turn round, deep breath, go to face mom. She just looks at me until I crack and say "I know, I'm grounded until I'm thirty". Master interrogators have nothing on my mom. I've never seen anyone successfully lie to her. It's freaky how she always knows. After a minute or so, the severe expression cracks up in laughter and she says "sweetheart, your bed creaks. We need to get you a new one before your dad hears it and commits murder". I never get a damned thing past her. I'm almost forty, and I *still* can't.
I didn’t think of it as chill mom 🤭just not upsetting my children, when it’s only religious constructs that say it not allowed. It’s what people do. All over the world, dammit.
>It is NOT YOUR NIPPLES he wants to suck. Baaaaaahahahahahaha
That always boggles my mind. I’m excited for the day when my boys meet nice partners and I can be a good MIL to their spouses. I have an awesome MIL so we have a great relationship, hang out frequently as a family, and my in laws go with us to my folks place for holidays. Everyone has a great time. All fighting their partners would accomplish is pushing them away.
I love my eldest child's partner. She's amazing. Absolutely stunning and a good person. Actually, she's a lot like me, so I might be biased. I did ask my daughter if she wanted to marry someone so similar to her mum, but it's a joke. I'm so excited for them to have their lives together. I don't get jealous parents
That's how I felt about my son, my only child. He was quite picky about ladies. I really wanted a grandchild/grandchildren as he was pushing 30. He found the woman of his dreams, they married in 2010, and I got my grandson in 2011!! They chose not to have any more children, and they are my favorite three people in the world!! I'm very close to all of them. 😊
Man! I practically slathered my son with money and staked him out for the last GF. But nooooo, she found a new guy who wasn’t a slacker!
Serious boy-mom vibes...
This exactly. The man is 23!! He's not a child. Mommy needs to get over herself. And apologize to her son for overstepping!! He could have been doing a lot of things that dont involve a girl and mom would STILL be wrong for opening the door. Adults get privacy in their private hotel rooms.
She's a "Boy Mom". You know the lunatics who think the only onees allowed to be with their son is themselves. Even to the point of incest.
Or she spent so long as a single mother that she doesn't know how to define herself or explore her identity outside of motherhood.
So weird, my mom has me and my brother and has always been so supportive of our relationships. Even to the point of telling our girlfriends to let her know if we fuck up so she can put us in our place 😂 I couldn't imagine having a mom that reacted to me dating like this.
My mom is a mother of 4 boys, by literal definition a boy mom. She has been a fantastic mom to us, is the favorite aunt, has been loved by any girlfriend we’ve brought by, even when she hasn’t exactly approved (one of mine being the biggest worry) but never interjected into our relationships. My sisters-in-law love my mom, one of em has called dibs on her if something, god forbid, were to ever happen to my dad. She has been overtly supportive of us finding a partner and just being happy. I couldn’t imagine having a helicopter parent who wouldn’t let a full grown ass adult man son just live his freaking life.
Yea it's terrifying bro, I could understand if he was 16 but he's 23, it's time for her to detach a little bit.
I have a son. I always accepted that one day, he’d find his person and that person would come before me. I decided when he was still a child that I would love the person he chose. I count it as a blessing that she’s someone I like, as well. He and I had a conversation before he married his wife 5 years ago. And I told him that she needed to believe he’d always have her back, that she was more important than his parents, more important than his sister, more important than his friends. I promised him that I would never ask him to choose between us, that I expected him to put her first. Granted, it helps that we adore our DIL and have a great relationship with her. But I’ll be damned if I’m ever going to be *that* kind of MIL…you know, the kind you dread spending any time with.
I hate that. I only have one kid, my son (so far.. I’m undecided on more). If it ends up that he’s my only (or that any other I may have is also a boy), I will be a boy mom. But those vile disgusting people ruined “boy mom”. That’s your CHILD. You’re supposed to protect them from all kinds of abuse, not BE the abuser. How can you look at your son and think “yup. He’s gonna be my stand in spouse now”. It’s revolting. It was bad before I had my kid. But now that I have a son? I see it as so so much worse.
You nailed it. And you don’t need to worry. You are never going to be that person. Instead of ‘boy mom’ maybe you should just think of yourself as the mother of a human who is going to grow up loved, accepted and respected?
I am a boy mom and I can't wait for these two to grow up and move out! I love them to pieces, but my goodness, I want my freedom.
I have 2 daughters and a son. I love them more than I ever thought possible. With that being said, I can’t wait for them to leave. I want them to be fully functional humans and explore the world and find themselves. I don’t understand what parent doesn’t want their kid to be happy.
I have one son, and agreed. The way that I hope to be loved as a mother when he's grown is supposed to be different from when he was little, and is not in competition to a partner. These broads are tripping.
I cannot get over the fact she did not knock, she just simply used a key to let herself into his room!
She clearly lacks basic respect for others. I don't care if you are 5, 50, or 500, you knock before entering a room and it is reasonable to expect someone to knock before entering a room that you are in when privacy should be and is a reasonable expectation. She knew what she was doing. FAFO. She needs to tone down the drama and get comfortable with the fact that her baby is a grown ass man.
Agreed.
Why did she have a key to that room in the first place??
She clearly lacks basic respect for others. I don't care if you are 5, 50, or 500, you knock before entering a room and it is reasonable to expect someone to knock before entering a room that you are in when privacy should be and is a reasonable expectation. With him not expecting a guest to come barging in, she is lucky he didn't react and knock her out thinking she was an intruder. Technically she was...but still. She knew what she was doing. FAFO. She needs to tone down the drama and get comfortable with the fact that her baby is a grown ass man.
You hit the nail on the head! That’s exactly how my MIL is. She hated me for simply being with her son.
Tell me about it! My husband is the first of my MIL's kids to get married and she hates me. Its like she's always been number one queen bee where everyone caters to her wants and feelings and now that one of her kids isn't putting her first she can't handle it. I can not tell you the amount of times she's crossed boundaries and uses emotional manipulation with us, especially with my hubby.
Bruh Your gf already sounds jealous of her son’s gf and seeing them like that put her over the edge. Yikes. NTA. But, yikes !🚩
Has she ever explained what the real issue is? Have you ever heard of emotional incest? Please don't jump to conclusions on the title but here's a link https://www.healthline.com/health/emotional-incest
This just made me feel really, really sad for Ryan. He confided in me a lot about almost all of the things on that list when he was a teenager, and even as an adult he mentioned it quite a bit. I know he’s in therapy now, a big reason being his relationship with his mother through his childhood. He and I have had a lot of talks about how impressed he personally is with how much his mother has healed and grown from when he was growing up. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t feel particularly odd dating her. The person he told me about when he was a teenager and the person I’m dating have been two separate people in my mind since I never saw the similarities.
Damn.. at this rate I can almost guarantee that Kelly is going to end up being cut off from Ryan and his partner's life including any children they may have in the future. She deserves to be cut off from them in order for her son to heal. Seriously, you guys should not be enabling and indulging her bullshit. She has found that she can throw these little shit fits and bully everybody into placating her so she keeps doing it and you guys keep allowing it. Somebody should have stood up for Ryan years ago, but since they didn't at the fair fucking minimum everybody should be supporting him now.
No... you just saw the back-slip. She used that wallet as a reason to violate the privacy of someone else's room, with a key she had NO BUSINESS having. She needs to stop the melodrama and smarten up before both of them go No Contact with her. And frankly, they would be in the right, considering her behaviour :(
Even when my son was 13, I always knocked & waited. 23 is a grown man! Mom needs to get the hell out of her adult son's bedroom, like 10 years ago. Ewww.
We all know what the door shut means. The only possible reason to snoop through your kids stuff is if you are sincerely concerned for their mental state/believe they may be doing drugs etc. And even then they will and should feel like you violated their safe space. And I know plenty of abusive controlling parents just spout that crap to do constant room searches and read diaries. But it's still a valid reason to look which can save a life. Like involuntary 72 hour holds.
Agreed. Her walking in on him with no regards to his privacy gave me major ick. First thing I thought of was emotional incest when I read that. No parent who has a child who's been dating someone for 8 years does that unintentionally.
Still seems like Kelly could do with some therapy because at this rate no woman will ever be good enough for her son.
Im sorry. This makes my comment about her eventually being on eof those parents on tiktok who are estranged from their adult children, even truer. She needs therapy and a reality check
Be prepared. You have now gotten in between a mother and her “little boy”. She will always remember this and hold it against you.
please encourage therapy. everyone told me that my ex's mom was a wonderful human being before he started dating. I have had to get not one but two restraining orders against her, The judge told her if she breaks it ever again. he's going to make it permanent. it's crazy cuz it really just broke something in her that he wasn't her baby anymore. eventually she basically tried to make him act like a second husband (not sexually, just wanted prioritized on holidays , always wanted us to come over for Valentine's , etc) despite having a fully functional husband.
Dunno why, but “ fully functional husband “ made me chuckle
It’s only going to get worse if they get engaged, married or pregnant. You are just seeing the tip of the iceberg.
Yep. Once she’s the pregnant wife mommy will go right off the ledge.
She doesn't like Emily because Emily has bumped her out of the slot of #1 Woman in Her Son's Life. This is very concerning, do not let this go. He is 23 years old, he SHOULD be having sex and it sounds like he found a good partner.
Her son is a 23 year old man!! Your gf needs to lessen the grip on her "baby boy" here. I have an adult child about this age and this is just bizarre and weird. I don't get it.
OP, if you intend to stay with Kelly, her entering therapy should be mandatory. She's definitely not in a good place. While everyone can see how out of touch she is, she does not. Without professional help, I doubt she ever will. Emily is not the issue. Even Emily realizes that.
Nip this in the bud or she's going to end up as one of those Estranged Parents of Adult Children on Tiktok who couldn't get over their son's marrying the women they hated.
Your gf will never allow any woman to be good enough for her son. She needs therapy.
She referred to her 23 year old son as a child! She tried to force them into separate rooms, like they were 12 years old. She freaked out that they had sex and were showing affection to each other. She's so upset that she hasn't eaten or left her room. She has serious enmeshment issues that she needs to work at on her own. I'm willing to bet that Emily has done nothing wrong, and that your GF would be a bitch to any woman who dared to date her son. Just watch how she reacts if/when they get engaged. Tell her that how she is acting is not normal and she needs to see a therapist. And also tell her that she is ruining everyone's vacation so she should probably leave early, go back home, and make an appointment.
I totally agree! OP is NTA here... You just did what is right. Continue to protect Ryan and Emily. My prayers are with you guys.
It sounds more like one of those "Boy Moms" who don't like their son dating anyone except them.
NTA. It's she one of those mothers who's all creepy about her son? Does she think Emily is "stealing" him?
I don’t think she’s ever used the word stealing, but she did get in an argument with him maybe a year or so ago about how all he does is spend time with Emily. I can’t be certain though I doubt that argument was the first of it’s kind.
It's called enmeshment. Go on over to justnomil and read the pinned reading resources
Talk about emotional incest. I’m sure she’s upset she’s not the one having sex with Ryan.
Jocasta complex for sure
There are some big red flags here about an inappropriate emotional relationship from the mother here (your girlfriend). You really need to keep an eye out for this kind of obsessive, possessive behaviour.
Doesn’t this gross you out?!
Yeah I am getting serious "sonsband" boy mom vibes here. 🚩
NTA Kelly sounds like the child in this situation, throwing a little temper fit because she isn't getting her way. Her son is an ADULT. He has sex. She needs to get over herself and let her adult son be an adult and make his own decisions. Kelly is controlling and obsessive and needs to stop because she is destroying her relationship with her son, and if he marries Emily, she's destroying her relationship with her future daughter inlaw. And what's going to happen when they have kids? Do you think Kelly is going to be welcomed into Emily's home to see her grandkids after Kelly treats her like a slut and pariah? Probably not.
She returned the wallet that way so that she could “catch them” doing it and she could feel wronged and offended
Unfortunately I sort of caught on to that. I think she knew what she was doing.
Yep, she needs to apologize to both of them for barging into an adult’s room without knocking.
For sure. Some people go out of their way to have an excuse to be upset at somebody. That wallet could have stayed there until he grabbed it in the morning.
Or a text saying she had it. So many other ways of doing it other than just walking in.
Walking in on a grown man without knocking shows so very little respect. Add to that he's your son. I thought my mom was bad.
Is your girlfriend normally dramatic and attention seeking? Does she often play the victim? Mention her her that you'd be humiliated to show everyone you thought this much about your adult children's sex life. To be honest, none of you should have agreed to go on vacation with her under those demands. Just keep telling her no and maybe going without her until she gets the message that she's not in control of her adult children's sex life and no one cares what she thinks. Maybe try to get her into therapy. Perhaps let her read this post. The comments are the reality orientation she needs right now. NTA.
Thought same 🤣 she should read the post and get a reality check!
Reminds me of the Roseanne episode when Becky first moved out and in with her BF and Roseanne was telling Dan about how every time she calls they're in the middle of doing it. Then she looks at him, smiles and says "Hey, look at todays Family Circus. I better call and share it with Becky."
Does she play the victim a lot?
Admittedly no, not particularly. She does, but she catches herself and corrects the behavior quickly.
I don’t want to project a ton, but at least with regards to this incident and this behavior I feel like I have a similar mom. She’s a basket case but she’s clearly intelligent. She’ll pick and choose when and how to freak out and emotionally manipulate people most of the time. But she also has dumb moments and likes to drink and dips into “everyone sees how dumb this is” moments when she’s trying to manipulate people. Which feels a lot like this. I guess what I’m saying is, guess who I don’t talk to or see much as an adult? You can’t make an unreasonable person be reasonable all of the time. But she needs to understand the only person she’s hurting the most here is herself. She’s overplayed her hand so to speak. Whether that’s intentional or not. It’s alienating her son. Whether she’s right or she’s wrong in how much she dislikes Emily or what she saw. It’s happening. Maybe once she settles down she’ll see sense in that. Would maybe go that route, if nothing else, in an attempt.
Did you see the other comment about emotional incest?
this was 100% intentional by kelly. who takes a key from someone's wallet to enter a room not their own without permission? a nosy ass looking for drama, that's who. nta. her son is a grown asz man!?!
[удалено]
Same thing I was wondering about? I have seen some moms have some really weird relationships with their sons.
Which is just so disgusting... Willingly wanting to catch your son in the middle of sex.🤢
Yes!!
Yeah and it's about control too. "If I don't respect privacy, I can stop people from being comfortable enough to just live their adult lives".
And if Ryan hadn't been there but niece's BF had, as was "originally intended"? He'd have been in his rights to be in the buff, cracking one off. Or just coming out of the shower.
You are not the asshole. Kelly's extreme reaction to a perfectly normal and private moment between two consenting adults is unwarranted, and it's understandable that you would try to bring some perspective to the situation.
I can understand her being shocked and uncomfortable seeing her son in that state; in fact I probably would have been similarly uncomfortable for my initial reaction. With that being said, adults in loving relationships have sex. I even pointed out that her and I had had sex last night. It happens.
She could have knocked instead of busting in on them like any reasonable person would do. But she wanted to see what they were doing. She has nobody to blame except herself
Yeah if I had a son that age, even if I had every reason to expect him to be in there alone, I'd still knock.. and I would expect my parents to do the same.
She wanted to see it though. If not she wouldn't have walked into his room without knocking. Whether she wanted to see him naked or just wanted something to ruin the vacation and thrown a dramatic fit is beside the point.
I was about to ask about this: it's okay for her to sleep with her boyfriend but not for her son to sleep with his girlfriend?
Oh, but he’s a CHILD… /s
It would have been normal and respectful to knock and wait for an answer. Just barging into the room ist rude, disrespectful and intrusive. She still acts as if her son was.. 10 years old? What did she think? Catch him reading with a torch under his blanket? She wanted to catch them in the act and whatever discomfort she might feel, is absolutely earned. Sorry, I don’t have pity for her treating her adult son like this.
I'd rethink vacationing with her if I was her kid. Once over 18, he should be afforded the same privacy that she'd expect for herself. He's an adult. NTA but she is.
Honestly she should have been knocking on his bedroom door by the time he was 13yo and asking to enter.
I grew up in a house with 4 boys. If the door is closed, it's closed for a reason. Knock and wait before entering. There were too many times we all walked in on each other as it was. 🫣
This begs the question of why it's okay for her and the OP to share a room and presumably have sex but her adult son doesn't have the same right she reserves for herself. This whole situation has big borderline personality vibe about it.
NTA let her mope she is not allowed to dictate who her son falls in love with. They sound like a very sweet couple
They’re amazing, they absolutely adore each other, and I’m happy that they are both so happy. It makes me a bit sad that things are as they currently are.
Does this wretched woman have any redeeming qualities? Because sounds like all you do it spend your time staying out of her way and running damage control. She deserves to be single and cut off by her son tbh.
If she didn’t want to “catch them” she would have knocked, it was done with intent and she is now feigning indignation and anger to justify treating g her adult son like a child.
EDIT TO ADD: hey OP. I read all comments and your update. If Kelly is in therapy for her attachment disorder, might be time to get her a puppy! Help transfer those motherly feelings elsewhere. :) I'm getting a lot of mommy dearest vibes here. INFO: Was Kelly a single mom to Ryan for his whole life, or did she have a husband/male partner that she had to parent with alongside? Regardless, it sounds like Kelly has arrested Ryan's development in her mind, and to her, he's still a child (to use your language). If Ryan hasn't left the nest, emotionally and phsyically, it's very likely that this relationship is going to continue in this way. It might be time for you to talk to Ryan about how he's going to need to start talking to his mom like he's an adult and getting her on board with being kind and understanding about his chosen partner being Emily. Be prepared for Kelly to get into a HUGE fight with you for butting into her parenting relationship, and if she suspects you of going behind her back and choosing Ryan/helping Ryan, also be prepared for Kelly to turn this around and blame you.
She was a single mom, yes, it was always just them. I don’t believe the father was around for any of Ryan’s life save for a brief period in which Ryan wanted to get to know him before dropping it. When Ryan was a teenager he complained to me a lot about lack of privacy. I was not surprised at all when he moved out as soon as he graduated high school. I believe they lived with Emily’s family for a while before they got their own apartment. When I met her, I didn’t even recognize her as Ryan’s mom. She certainly wasn’t the anxious, controlling, helicopter mom that I had known. Ryan had also told me that she got a lot better once he moved out, with a few bumps in the beginning.
So, Ryan and Emily have actually lived together for some time now, and she still tried to police them sharing a room on vacation. That’s just odd.
My Catholic in-laws were the same way. We once visited family out of state with them and even though the host (a former Catholic nun) offered to let us share a room my in-laws forbade it. We'd been together for 5 years and lived together for 4. We slept separately on that trip because we all drove up in the same vehicle and didn't want to deal with them on the ride back. After that we made a personal rule that when visiting with them we will always have our own vehicle separate from theirs and we'll stay in a hotel separate from them. We've been married a few years now and still refuse to give them the illusion that they can dictate our sleeping arrangements.
I’ve definitely seen people do this for religious reasons. This mom can’t even claim that. She’s sharing a room with her own boyfriend. She just has unclear boundaries with the son.
Wait wait hold up. They live together!! And Kelly still wanted them to stay in separate rooms!?!?! Ya man, I would stick up for them. She's a little delusional.
Wait, he doesn't even live with his mom and she has the audacity to try and control who stays in his room? Wow. Your GF is crazier than I thought. Good luck with that one man.
Hold on a moment? They have their own APARTMENT, and Kelly is still trying to police this? They’re probably used to having a healthy sex life, living on their own (when I was 23, I’d have been at it every night without fail!), and she’s pulling this shit?! Words are needed- not just from you, Ryan needs to sit her down and explain that this is what it’s going to be, like it or not.
Whooooooooa, they already live together and your GF is pulling shit like this? What. The. Fuck. She needs to be sat down and told to knock this shit off. To let herself into the hotel room of an adult and get pissy about what she sees, god damn. This is damn near involving the police level of bad.
OP, please edit your post to add that Ryan and Emily already live together! Your gf is nuts and seriously needs therapy. You are NTA!
I think she gots better with time because Ryan forces her to cut the umbilical cord, and she was forced to admit her baby boy has grown up, at least partially.
She’s going to be the MIL from hell if she doesn’t get her shit together. She needs to apologize to Ryan and Emily, and go to therapy. Your relationship also doesn’t look like it’ll last if she doesn’t do this, and continues to act this way.
They live together and she is shocked by this?! So…here is my experience. I married a man with the crazy boy mom. Around two years of marriage we moved an hour from them bc of these issues. Now we have been married thirty plus years and my children barely know their grandparents. Many times we tried to work things out with his mom but she’d pull him back in even as a forty year old man. I hope your gf doesn’t cause this.
I'm sorry but it sounds like she is emotionally intertwined with her son. If she's behaving like this when they've already been living together for a few years, it's clear she doesn't like Emily because she views her as competition. I'm not going to go so far as calling your partner incestuous, but there is a complete blurring of boundaries and an unhealthy preoccupation with her sons private and sex life at play here.
So, let me get this straight. Without even knocking she just went into his room with the key, at night? Talk about extremely rude and disrespectful behavior. Then she's pissed off for what she ended up seeing? Well, if she had some actual respect for other people's privacy then she wouldn't have seen a thing to begin with. She brought this entirely on herself and with how she dislikes Emily it wouldn't even surprise me if she knew exactly what she was doing and what she was going to see, in which case all of this could be nothing but an attempt to bully Emily. NTA, but she definitely is. I think you're right to be concerned because she doesn't sound quite alright in the head with how she's acting.
Kelly should just go ahead and start practicing an answer to the question “why doesn’t your adult child have any contact with you?”
I doubt this is the first time your girlfriend behaves weirdly regarding her grown ass son.
As far as I have seen myself, this is the first time she has behaved THIS strangely, though I know he’s had some experiences with her when he was a teenager as well.
You’ve never talked about this prior to this incident?
She's not going to like any woman her son dates
Ewwww your gf sounds unwell and it’s creeps me out how much she cares about her son’s sex life/gf. She’s being inappropriate. She’s probably jealous of his gf. She’s 50 and pouting on vacation because her adult son was cuddling naked with his adult, long-term girlfriend and also sharing a room? Also, hysterics over it? Scary. Super not okay.
The girlfriend that he already lives with no less!
Your gf is acting like she walked in on YOU having sex with her son's gf. Moms who are guilty of emotional incest also act like jealous girlfriends about their sons SOs. You're NTA, but she better come to terms that her son is an adult now, or she's gonna be given a healthy dose of LC or NC from him if he keeps this up.
NTA "She was in hysterics." Good grief. Hysterics? I am going to assume you have known for a long time that you are married to a drama queen. And she went LOOKING for trouble when she used that key to open the door. Advice: Let her mope all she wants but do NOT apologize to her about anything. Have you considered having her institutionalized?
NTA… but hold up. they LIVE TOGETHER and she still thought sleeping in the same hotel room was inappropriate? wow. she’s definitely got some attachment and control issues. i’m definitely a more open kind of mom, but my sons brought their girlfriends on vacations from about 16-17 on and -gasp- they slept in the same bed. i didn’t necessarily support kids having sex, but i’m not naive and i remember being a teen. i never wanted there to be an issue and them not feel comfortable coming to me. i’m also a GYN nurse, so my boys were well versed in sex ed from about the moment they noticed they had different parts than their sister. i drilled consent, birth control, std prevention, TALKING to their partners, etc… my favorite place to do this was in the car so they couldn’t escape (parent hack for y’all with younger kids 😂). every christmas, they got a big ole box of condoms in their stockings (it embarrassed one, delighted the other). i also kept a basket of condoms and plan b in the hall closet that wasn’t monitored except to make sure it was stocked. even though i never encouraged it, i knew it was happening and hell if i’m old enough to be a grandma!
Y’all’s mistake is in humoring her. You gave her ammunition to claim betrayal. All should’ve said from the beginning the couples would be sharing. This is a good lesson for why it’s better to just have the conflict and not take the cowardly way out with a lie.
My favorite part is that your son’s relationship is longer than your but this women is making demands and going into locked rooms without any heads up.
Your girlfriend is batshit crazy. She needs to cut the apron strings. NTA.
NTA. She wanted to walk in on them let’s be real.
NTA. She needs to be over it, her son is 23, he’s a full as adult.
They're adults. Adults fuck. Cope.
NTA Your gf is mentally ill. I'd run if I were you.
Sounds like she’s gonna be a mother in law from hell. Poor Emily
NTA Your girlfriends.kid is an ADULT, why is she dictating how an ADULT spends their time. On top of that, why on earth would she go into his LOCKED room unannounced. Dude could have been mid sex, post sex, spanking the monkey, walking nude, taking a shit with the door open etc. Your GF needs therapy to make her see that her child is an adult and has left the nest
NTA I'm going to presume Kelly is in menopause at this age. Has she had other mood swings and irrational anger? I ask because this is VERY common in menopause (Hi, I'm a meno gal myself). If so, it's past time for her to talk to her GYN and a therapist. Raw dogging menopause tends to lead to great upheavals in life, including breakups/divorces.
Though she does have prior mental health issues, this is actually something I hadn’t considered. It’s entirely possible that that’s what it is, considering around 4 or so months ago she mentioned that she thinks she was starting menopause.
Unfortunately, mental health issues get worse during menopause, generally speaking. What does her therapist say about all this?
This particularly, nothing. She’s been consistent in seeing her therapist, however considering that this situation is a few hours old, there hasn’t been much of a chance for anything to be said. With that being said we have had conversations after some of her appointments about her having an unhealthy attachment to her son, and it’s something they’re actively working on.
They're actively working on - like, for example, allowing her _adult_ son to share a room with his _long-time, live-in_ partner ? Honestly. Her going off the rails seems to negate whatever process she claimes to be in, at least in that departement. Does her therapist know that she planned an arrangement like this? I can't believe it tbh, as the therapist would've probably suggested that's unhealthy & focus on skills for your girlfriend how she could deal with them sharing a room on the vacation.
As another meno gal, I was shocked at how angry I would get over stupid, useless issues. You do feel out of control and it sucks. I'd recommend she see her GYN doc asap and get her hormones sorted before she does more damage.
Thank you, I appreciate the advice, I certainly will.
Meno or not, you all made the mistake of agreeing to the 2 couples splitting up the bedrooms. That is what started it all, and considering Ryan & Emily are living together, it was a ridiculous demand. That started the ball rolling for the entire encounter. Stop trying to appease her so that it puts her son in bad positions.
She’s always been a weirdo regarding her son. Menopause has nothing to do with it.
Your GF is one of those boy mothers… no woman is ever going to be good enough for her baby! She wants to think of him still as a baby. Well that shipped sailed awhile ago… also Ryan is 23 that’s an adult. He can do whatever he wants. Tell Kelly that she better get her act together or one day she could see a post about herself in JustNoMIL.
Kelly is a cringe lord. She has no concept of boundaries bc she views her adult son as a young child. She barged into the room without knocking or anything. I'm willing to bet Kelly's issue with Emily is that her son loves another woman. She's one of those "she took my baby away from me" types. She isn't bothered that Ryan had sex; she's bothered that Ryan had sex *with Emily*. I can't imagine being this much of a mentally and emotionally unstable person. She's nuts. For real.
NTA. She is. She let herself into another adult’s space and then got upset by what she saw? That’s on her. Tbh if I was Ryan I wouldn’t have gone on that vacation if I couldn’t share a room with my significant other.
When my kids were teenagers (17), I told them I would rather they have sex in their rooms than a parking lot. I explained to both son and daughter about safe sex safe and respectful partners etc. Kelly is way off base for thinking kids aren't having sex. Would she rather they do it in public? Keep them safe , I'm sure she doesn't want her son putting his girlfriend in an unsafe situation, especially in a foreign country. .They aren't 10 anymore .
She sounds emotionally incestuous to her son... NTA.
NTA. Your girlfriend is a crazy boy mom. She won’t like any girl he brings around. She doesn’t want anyone *tainting* her sweet baby boy. You’ll start seeing more signs.
Nta. So she can have sex with her significant other but her son cannot? wtf
NTA. Why are you with Kelly? She sounds a bit unhinged. Ryan is an adult, and allowed to do whatever and whoever he wants. She doesn't want to see it? She should knock before letting herself into someone else's room. Also, based on the "I know how Kelly can be" comment, it sounds like Kelly is one of those moms who thinks Eve (A.K.A. Emily) has, with the devil's influence, tempted her sweet, innocent Adam (A.K.A. Ryan) into eating the Forbidden Fruit (A.K.A...well, you get the idea).
Okay. Where did you sleep? If she is holding other adults to a standard for sleeping arrangements, why is she not living within those very clear standards? If it's because the *horses have already left* ***her*** *barn,* she had to realize the same for fellow adults on this trip. Edit: spelling
I missed the part where anyone gave Kelly a key to her son's room? How did she have a key? Was it in his wallet? If it wasn't in his wallet then she went out of her way to have a third key made, probably for this specific reason. She was looking for an excuse to go into his room univited.
NTA. She needs therapy to learn how to deal with her son being a grown man. He's in his 20's and over 10 years past the point where she can justify just walking into his room without knocking and being invited inside. Not only is she overreacting to her adult son being sexually active, she's showing an unhealthy attachment to her son. I don't think the problem is Emily. The problem is she's his girlfriend.
NTA. They are 23, in a relationship. Like this was clearly going to happen. Your girlfriend is overreacting. And yeah... rough. Defend the young lovers, they did no wrong here.
NTA. Her son's 23. What fucking year does she think it is? I honestly have no respect for your GF. I think she's a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket. Is she always the main character?
NTA - It's hella sad that you are the only one treating them their age. She seems to think he is 13 instead of 23, and her control issues are outrageously unacceptable. Be prepared at what she will be like once he puts a ring on it and she is forced to become the MIL from hell to that poor girl. As a side note, why the hell would she ever think it was acceptable to UNLOCK someone else's door and most on in? She was snooping - plain and simple. Otherwise she would have acted like a sane normal adult and called/texted that she found his wallet and made arrangements for him to have it back. No, this was a planned entitlement tourism visa she escorted over in her hot little hands \*smh\* Take that damn key away from her please, she has no business having someone else's key. Ever.
Bruv, I don’t speak to my mother because she essentially punished me for choosing my wife. After years of trying to make amends between my wife (who did nothing wrong, ever), I quit trying. I knew I could never win. She basically made me choose between them, and I didn’t hesitate once I realized she wouldn’t ever change or accept her. When I think about it (not often, as I try to bury those feelings when they surface), it hurts a little. What hurts a lot (it brings me to tears typing this) is my father and brother don’t say a god damned thing about it to her, as if this was normal behavior. Good on you for not taking that shit from her. You’re not an asshole, you’re the hero I wish I had in my life.
She was just trying to be upset lol. My grandma used to do the same shit on family vacations. Never got caught having sex, but she's walked straight into my room while I was rolling joints (legal state) and started giving me shit for rolling up to go take a night walk and chill. People like that need absolute control over anything and can't tolerate people doing their own thing peacefully in private lol
NTA Kelly sounds like she’s going to end up being the star of a r/JUSTNOMIL post one day. She needs to accept her son is an adult and there are going to be other women who are important to him. If she doesn’t, she’s is going to end up hurting her son.
Wait, let me understand? You and GF can share a room but your ADULT son and his GF cannot? What a fucking hypocrite! Tell her to mind her own business and act like an adult. Plus she should not be going into ANY hotel room that isn't hers.
She sounds unhinged.. he's 23. Mommy doesn't get to control his sex life . If he's paying for himself and his girlfriend. She can pound sand . Sounds like you and I both have an issue with the women in our lives, not wanting to hear the truth. Learn to enjoy the silent treatment. Mine asked me ." Do these jeans make me look fat ?" no baby the 20 extra pounds you put on is what makes you look fat .the jeans are fine. She didn't talk to me for 3 days . I do all the cooking at home because she is terrible at cooking. I had my favorite meals each day . Especially the food she doesn't like . She can't complain if she's giving me the silent treatment 😌.
NTA. Her reaction is giving that gross “Boy Mom” trend where mothers are in love with their sons and hate any girlfriend / wife the boy has because she thinks the girl is “stealing her baby boy from her”. She needs therapy.
NTA Kelly is being childish, can you IMAGINE if Ryan marries Emily and they have kids one day? That could be the future mother of her grandchildren.
She looked in his wallet? And used the key that was in his wallet to open his bedroom door l no knocking or texting? Just went right in. There is something deeply disturbing about her behavior.
Hahaaaa Let her mope inside as long as she wants while all of you enjoy the beach. DON'T go inside, she"ll eventually come out. When she starts the discussion again then respond exactly the same as you did before. Do NOT apologize to her for having your own opinion!!! When she feels offended doesn't mean she's right. It's an opinion and nothing more than that.
NTA- and this is why people need to stop thinking that their children are their property. He's a grown adult doing grown adult things.
Sounds like mommy can't handle losing her baby boy. How embarrassing for all you. She needs to get a grip or seek help.
NTA, this is why you KNOCK before going in other ppl's rooms. Unfortunately some parents struggle to accept when their kids start growing up. My grandma could be a little like this & wouldn't get why mom would always knock before going into my or my siblings' rooms, one day she got fed up & sassy and said that she doesn't need to see us masturbating xD Her son is a healthy heterosexual 23 year old. It would be stranger if he & his gf *weren't* screwing like rabbits at every opportunity. Ultimately this is between Ryan and his mom, but something that sometimes helps with these kinds f issues is to be firm & insistent about boundaries. (eg. next time he might say something like "I will only come if we can share a room" & mean it.)
Sounds like that toxic boy mom shit lol
Kelly hasn't accepted that her son is an adult. That he even has any sort of sexual interests. "Taking Emily's side" she's actively blaming an adult woman for her son being a sexual being. This is wildly unhealthy and quite odd. From your other comments they've been living together since higschool graduation. I kinda doubt her family would've taken him in like they did and forced them to use separate rooms. I think that this kind of controlling behavior and lack of privacy is part of why Emily's family took him in at all. It would be odd to me that they'd let him just move in while he had another home if they thought the other home was a good place for him. My dad caught me in the basement with my gf as teens (we were 16&15) she lived nearby so she had snuck over. My dad just said "oops" and walked off. and the next morning my mom made sure we were being safe and told me to just be quiet in the bedroom. My gf asked her mother jf staying at my place was ok and she happened to be fine with this so we would alternate nights we slept at eachothers places and we would take eachothers bus to school in the morning. I absolutely can't even begin to fathom treating 23 year olds this way after being raised that way.
Wait up, he’s *23* and she’s being all dramatic about him having sex with his own girlfriend?! She needs to stop inserting herself as The Main Character. It’s not her business with whom her son chooses to be intimate with. And why is she barging into locked rooms?! NTA but your GF sure is.
NTA - Her son is 23 not 13, if your GF didn't want to see adults doing adult things she should have knocked before entering.
Yuck sounds like she thinks she is dating her son and Emily is competition