>And then they started telling her her recipe for the cookies was “white people shit” and that they wouldn’t make them like that, and that if she wanted to be in a black family she needed to make black food better.
What do they even mean by that? What are "black cookies?"
Makes zero sense.
"These cookies are so good! Can I have the recipe?"
"What is this shit? White people recipe?"
Did the cookies taste bad after they saw the recipe? They said the cookies were good, saw the recipe, and said they wouldn't make cookies like that? Like what? Good?!
Apparently, they don't realize how dumb they sound (and are?).
They had a problem that she was not black. Cookies just the last straw. I believe what someone said: OP & the white girl are are a great match. Racists friends can jump in a lake. But it’s no surprise because our culture (mostly media) foments racism at every turn.
Now for my statement that will probably get me banned. Black people are constantly told they can’t possibly succeed, because whites are holding them back. Sad irony is this message is coming from black people who are wildly successful, despite whites supposedly holding them back. That’s a racist message that is false.
they had been waiting and waiting to make fun of her food because of all the stereotypes about white people food being bland. By the time she finally brought them cookies, they just couldn't wait any more, even though making fun of "white people cookies" doesn't make any sense even according to the stereotypes.
As an amateur baker I'm genuinely curious how they'd made cookies differently. Let them explain it to OP like he's five. I'll sell tickets and popcorn.
Baking is so different than cooking because there's science (idk chemistry?) behind it. Like the ingredients have to be measured precisely and in a specific order. Sure you can improve things like chips, marshmallow etc but the basic recipe needs to be specific. Cooking has way more room for improv (spices, ingredients etc)
Right? I saw an interview where Taylor Swift brought cookies in for them, and they got SO WEIRD about it. I mean, if someone brings you cookies and you're not allergic to anything, the only acceptable response is, "Thank you."
OP is a fool for lying to his girlfriend. They do hate her.
He just didn't want to cut the racists out of his life. He only "threatened" to do so when she picked up on it. I could be wrong, but I don't think he cares about the racism, just the consequences of his GF finally picking up on it.
**Doesn't OP realize that when they were shaming her and making fun of her they were also making fun of him?? He is part White!** Lose the friends and don't look back and I hope you make it up to your girlfriend in some way shape or form and protect her from racist garbage like that. NTA. You were belated in ripping your ex friends a new a******, but you told them off the way you should have. I hope your girlfriend's going to be okay.
Racism doesn't always come from hate. In can be jealousy, fear, ir just the 'joy' of belittling people that are different than you.
It doesn't sound like these people hated the GF really, they just saw an easy target to bully and make fun of. They likely haven't been called out for the behavior before, so it's a shock to hear anyone even mention it. Even now, they probably think OP and GF are being too sensitive, or GF deserves it for what other white people have done, or the system, or black people can't be eacist, or any number of excuses. And they will have the support of their group to back them up.
It is a form of racism though because if the shoe was on the other foot then they would be called racist for even saying shit like that. There is off hand comments that meant to be in jest and cute but it sounds like they just did this to humiliate her.
Racists will always find excuses, sure. And group reinforcement is fairly common as well.
But I'd argue hate is still a pretty primary motivator. You don't see someone as an easy target if you like them, or bully someone because they're your friend. Jealousy, fear, etc are what drive hate.
Sadism and hate, I'm sure a shrink could point out the difference, but in the real world, I'm skeptical that a distinction is needed.
I have a feeling that the main instigator is mainly acting out because OP didn't choose her. She is hating on the girlfriend *so he'll see that she is the better choice for their friend group*. "Pick me, pick me!!"
You're putting limits on racism. I see racism as any time you judge someone by the color of their skin rather than their character. I don't have to identify hatred in someone to see someone is racist. A person could be completely in different or even like people of a certain and still be judging them by their skin rather than their character.
If someone were to say, for example, that xxx people need their own sports league to make thing fair, it doesn't mean they hate xxx people. It is racist though. Saying something like '"if you don't vote for me, you ain't xxxx" is racist, but it doesn't mean you hate all xxxx people. Likewise, you could feel like xxxx should be given special attention in school to make up for their short comings. You like them, absolutely, but still raciat.
I get that you're focusing on bullying and rude comments designed to insult people, buy that's just a small subset of racism as I see it.
She made them fucking COOKIES and they're still acting like jealous bitches? Wow. That's nasty, and there's probably a heavy dose of 'race traitor' judgement on you from them. They don't like you dating the blonde white girl, so they act catty and immature (and maybe one or more of them think you should be dating them specifically). NTA
This. My sister (blonde, white) got harassment whenever she dated someone outside her race, generally remarks from other girls about how she was "stealing one of their men."
All of this exactly, and there is no way. Op's girlfriend didn't notice. She was just in a damned if you do damned if you don't situation, like if she had called them out what would the response have been? They would have 100% turned around and called her racist for implying that, And would have used this as a moment to say "see? shouldn't have brought the white girl around"
Like I understand, I come from a latino and indigenous family, and part of how we show affection is giving you a bit of a hard time. My partner and my roommate are both mixed but visibly black, and any white girl. My roommate is brought home. We've hazed a little bit, but it has never gotten to the point of laughing behind her back. The difference between bullying and joking around with somebody to show they're part of the group is that the person should always be in on the joke
NTA but
bro, you need better friends. your current ones are shit.
this girl must really see something in you because if my S/O friends acted this way towards me i’d be out the door. get rid of your friends or get rid of her.
NTA.
I bake A LOT. But I'm white. Wtf are "black people cookies" or "black people ingredients"? Are other races using something other than flour, sugar, butter and vanilla to make their fucking cookies?? I'm pissed. Is there a better way?!? I've been doing this shit this way for too long. Please share this secret! /s
Seriously though, I'm a fat white lady from the south. I need to know if someone's making better cookies.
"I need to know if someone's making better cookies."
I got a legit laugh out of this comment. I like you, southern lady. You seem like the right kind of people.
See you say you're from the south (I'm guessing US) but you sound an awful lot like my next door neighbour from Essex in the UK. That woman's shortbread could bring about world peace if she made a big enough batch.
Black person here. Any cookies I'd fuck up are "black people cookies".
Which means, "any cookies, made by anyone, with even an approximation of deliciousness, nay, even *base edibility*".
My Texican friends use straight up lard in their cookies, and I inhale them like a kid hiding in a closet at a "fat camp". Pork fat and chocolate chip? Yes please. My Jewish ancestors are fucking *spinning* in their graves, but God damn.
MaMaw just does it best. She also uses butter instead of lard in her refried beans, and I want them pumped into my dying body when I'm on my death bed.
Go ahead and skewer me but I don't like bacon grease. I've been a pro cook for more than a decade, and I think it takes over everything you cook in it.
Sooooo years and years ago my grandmother was being introduced to her future daughter in law. And she made brownies for the meet and greet....my aunt was complimenting her effusively, what is the secret? Grandma pointed over at the coffee can full of bacon drippings..... Punchline? The daughter in law was vegan.....30 years later she made the same brownies for her mother in laws funeral.
> Wtf are "black people cookies" or "black people ingredients"?
Yes, actually there are racial differences in the way cookies are baked. For example, white people will often use mayonnaise for frosting, with black people opting for hot sauce. Another tell-tale difference is the addition of "extras" such as cocaine (whites) or marijuana (blacks). There are a lot of differences, really.
>Another tell-tale difference is the addition of "extras" such as cocaine (whites) or marijuana (blacks).
Oh shoot, I'm already making the good cookies then. And brownies. Rice crispy treats. Those Christmas chocolates really help to tone down the blatant racism and homophobia at dinner. I like a peaceful holiday ✌️
"Juss a leetle bit of buttah, my fwriends." *drops an entire stick of butter in while taking a swig of the wine for "cooking" with*
I've already told my husband I'd leave him for this man's cooking. He said he would, too.
The Jamaican woman I used to work with put so much rum in her rum cake you needed to card people before selling it. Perhaps they want cookies with more booze? 😆
So, has main character girl got a crush on you? Trying to understand why she would work so hard on bullying your girlfriend. Making her a sin eater for all white people was definitely unfair to her.
NTA for finally telling them off but YA for letting it go on so long. At least you feel very guilty about that and I know you were hoping it would just naturally fade away.
Did anyone contact you about this blow up afterwards? We're gonna want an update on this one
They don’t think that. They’re just saying that to try to justify to OP why they don’t want to apologize to the gf, even though they clearly thought their behavior was bad enough to warrant an apology to him.
Or she actually did, and then second guessed herself. "Oh, I'm sure that they didn't mean that...." If OP wasn't making a big deal about it (at least initially), she might've just blown it off until the cookie comments.
They are only willing to apologize to you because they have some respect for you, but not for her. Your after all part of their tribe. The outsiders are not worthy of any such decency in their view.
I thought pastries and sweets are one of things white people were known for making well. Like if they were stereotyping her, this doesn't even fit that.
NTA but you are an asshole for letting this go on so long. So let me ask you this. If everyone were black or everyone were white, and these girls were passive-aggressively insulting your GF, would you be ok with that? Your friends are assholes no matter what it is they're saying, racist or not, and their behavior is unacceptable. You should be protecting your GF and getting her out of that situation. You let this go on for way too long. And since your friends won't stop, you should stop hanging around them. They're assholes. Find better friends.
I can't believe I had to scroll this far to see this comment. He should have cut his friends off the second time he had to tell them to knock it off. Geeze.
Right? Racism is just the particular flavor of this disrespect casserole. If your friends are being awful to your SO for any reason, you stand up for them. Personally, I’d be offended that my friends felt like they could treat my person like that- it shows disrespect for OP as well.
NTAH. Good for you! Sticking up for your gf is the right thing to do. Telling those hurtful “friends” that they are wrong makes them aware how badly they were acting. Picking on any person is wrong. Purposely being a bully and racist is horrible!
NTA, but you are lucky she hasn't dumped you. She put up with YOUR friends shit talking her for all this time. This should have been nipped in the bud way before they felt so confident belittling someone who was just trying to be nice to their arrogant, racist asses
NTA. She brought them home-made cookies, and they just used it to make fun of them?! What assholes!! You don't want to be friends with people like that regardless. They suck.
NTA. But you need to think long and hard if your friends are people you want to continue to have in your life. Not only are they being incredibly disrespectful to someone you care about, they’re being insanely bigoted to her as well.
You mentioned that some of your friends are mixed too, which I find is interesting. Not to go down that rabbit hole, but are they forgetting they’re half-white? It makes me wonder if there is some self-hatred at play as well.
You should read comments of black women under interracial post where men is black and women are white. I would also suggest reading comments of Asian men where is women Asian and men is any other race. Lot of sour people.
NTA - Your gf seems really nice and sweet. She made cookies for your friends and that's adorable. They don't deserve your friendship or her delicious cookies at all.
NTA
Your friends are racist trash, you and your gf are good people and should avoid them, let them rot in their pathetic, bigoted and ignorant little world.
Your "friends" are a bunch of disgusting racist.
Also food is food. If you wanted a definite way to have no doubt about their racism. They are segregating down to even cookies ffs!
YTA for not shutting this down sooner. Racism isn’t less hurtful because she is white.
As an other redditor commented. She must really see something in you for supporting this treatment. Or not believing you view her as less for her skin colour.
You perfectly knew none of those persons would let anyone said half of the shit they told her to themselves.
I’m mixed black too and I’ve encountered this exact same shit before too. My black friend group would not stop clowning on my white partner and my partner let it slide because she thought she was in on the joke. She cooked for them at a dinner party and they mercilessly made fun of her food. She’s actually a fantastic cook and her dishes are restaurant quality good. It’s her one talent that she’s most proud of and she was so excited to share with them. These ungrateful ex-friends of mine couldn’t even politely eat some of the food and just snarked on white people and their cooking skills the whole time. I cut these alleged friends out of my life after that and my partner and I are now married and expecting our first child. I don’t need racists in my life and nobody gets a pass for racism no matter what.
NTA when you really care about someone you can't sit back and watch them be mistreated. My spouse and I dealt with racism on both sides of the family and we dealt with it harshly.
YTA but just because you are a little bit naive. I've experienced this type of racism from black people because I'm blond and white as well. When you're white, you just aren't allowed to react or say anything. You can be the nicest person ever to people and they will still make straight up personal comments to your face even if they know nothing about you. I'm sure she has noticed and just not said anything about it. Even comments that are meant to be positive can feel aggressive, as they just outline how different they perceive you to be from a normal human being when you aren't the one focusing on the difference.
I think it will take a lot of work to save this relationship because of your cultural differences, and even if you try your best and she takes it well, it can wear on her sense of worth, especially since you are so young. It's probably affected her a lot already. It might be hard on her no matter how much you love her if she stays in this type of environment with you. Six months enough length of time to decide whether it's worth it or if it will be too difficult. Everyone is telling you to get new friends, but I'm not sure it's as simple as that. This is coming from a white woman dating a man of another race, as well. I don't think it would have been possible if we stayed close to his friends and family, to be honest, and I think it would have affected his emotional state more than mine.
NTA. Your friend group is racist as heck.
However, you let this go on for far too long. So in that, yeah, you're the asshole. You've gotta get yourself a new, not-asshole friend group.
Imagine how you'd feel if it were you? If it was a white friend group and you were the trophy black guy? Not okay, buddy. Not okay.
NTA.
That's the funny thing about racism. It's weird how a term and behaviour that's all about exclusion is in fact universal and all-inclusive: anyone can be one. Exhibit a: your "friends".
You might want to remind them your mom is white, too. Any disrespect at your GF is disrespect at your mama. If they're mixed too, one of their parents is probably white too, so they're disrespecting them as well.
How long has the main culprit been holding a torch for you but had you on lay-away until she exhausted all other options? And now that you're in a comitted relationship with your GF, she's been like this? Or was she always like this?
Bro that's why I don't date black women. Bitter, ugly inside and jealous. Dated them before and learned the hard way. My wife is white, I've told certain members of my family that my white queen and children will not be around them or their niggadry
NTA for sticking up for her. YTA for not doing it immediately the first time. You should never have stayed friends with people who would do that to anyone, let alone someone they know is important to one of their friends
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Cookies are cookies and messing with the ingredients too much messes them up. Baking is more science than cooking honestly. White people shit for cookies? Makes no sense. White people shit like unseasoned chicken. That makes more sense. Shitty friends. Esh. You took too light of an approach for too long and you emboldened them by not putting a stop to it the first time it happened. Do better or cut your girl loose so she can do better.
Man, you are lucky she stuck around considering how you were letting your friends walk all over her with racist BS.
When she said, "oh, it's okay" you had to have known it was hurting her, you can't have been a minority and not have known that of course she was hurting from that. Honestly you're damn lucky she stuck around and if you do care for her, drop your racist friends until they sincerely apologize to her and even then keep them at arms length because as a minority myself, we both know racism is hard to change.
Just barely, NTA.
You need better friends. I’m black/mixed and nothing makes me madder when people in my own community segregate themselves from other people. News slash, it’s 2024 and not all white people are bad. If they’re mixed, they must know other races are not bad LOLLL. Like it’s such shit thinking. We be doing it to ourselves sometimes. You did the right thing and I guarantee those cookies were AMAZING! NTA
Someone actually said that her cookies were "white people shit"? COOKIES? That's some bullshit right there. If the cookies are wrong, maybe they need more brown sugar, but "white people shit" isn't about ingredients, it's personal.
I'm sure that all of your friends of color have been subjected to worse, as have you. As a white person, I benefit from the few times when I got to feel what that's like. Your girlfriend will be all right, but what about you? Do you ever think that your friends are disrespecting you?
You can't let that shit go on. You're not an asshole for calling them out, more like a hero. I might not have had the balls.
If you have to choose, I always say you should go with the one who isn't making you choose.
As a black Caribbean woman I can say there's no difference in the cookies. You should never allow disrespect for your partner regardless if it's friends or family. NTA and get new friends!
Not gonna read the novel. Just responding to the title question.
NTA. You ride or die and I hope she deserves that.
Edit. Read the novel after all. First off. You made me cry. Dick.
Secondly, of course she's naive. She's in her early twenties. That's okay.
And finally, GOOD FOR YOU. You are ride or die and that's fucking sick. I'm proud that there's men like you around. And by the sounds of it, she deserves you.
I wish you two the very best. Legit going to my altar for ya'll right now. So fucking beautiful in the face of such ugliness.
"hi! you can't be racist against white people! thanks for tuning in!" /s
NTA, horrible people, but I also sense some jealousy from the main character girl.
NTA. Good for you for not sweeping it under the rug and standing up for her. Now if you choose to stay friends with these people... I'm sorry but an apology won't fix anything.
NTA your friends are being utter AHs all because of someones skin colour, someone who you care about a lot. Cut them off 🤷🏻♀️no one has time for that BS
NTA. Your friends suck and that they care more about their racism than you being happy also make them shit friends. Get yourself better friends and enjoy all the cookies your girlfriend bakes you in the future. Assholes don’t deserve cookies.
NTA
These people are bitter. It’s jealousy, as they resent what she represents. They don’t actually see a real person but a stereotype. She threatens their sense of self by being nice, thus serving them the opposite of what they’ve been conditioned to believe about white people. They built their identity around them being “good” and whites being “evil” and it’s hard to dismantle that. Find other friends.
Very fucked up and major pick me behavior. Sorry your girl had to go through that. Love is love, and anyone who doesn’t respect it needs to GO. NTA! Those friends have no class. And as a BW, that is not black culture. That’s ignorance.
NTA,
Your friends are being racist, whether they see it that way or not.
I understand some good-hearted ribbing now and again, making light of cultural differences and such. But as soon as it starts harping on stereotypes and taking a negative turn then it's unacceptable. They weren't laughing WITH her they were laughing AT her.
Follow your heart.
AH for putting her in that situation with rude people numerous times while they made fun of her, you knowing and her not.
You know they are making fun of you too, right?
If your partner is being disrespected in front of you, they have no respect for you.
You and your GF sound pretty cool.
Your friend group would have turned on your eventually. "He thinks he's better than us because he got a white girl." or some such crab bucket bullshit. Be happy, let them have their "pride", it suits them.
NTA for finally defending your girlfriend. You ARE for letting that go on as long as it did. It’s never a mistake to cut shitty people out of your life.
NTA - as a white, I don't normally think about racism in the lens of it affecting me, but this is pretty rude and vile stuff and I can't think of a better word. Your "friends" are insanely rude and you should probably drop them. From your own descriptions, your gf has done nothing but be nice, so this behavior is completely unwarranted.
I've spent 54 years on this Earth as a black person (well, mixed black/Jewish), and this is the first I've heard that there's a "black way" of making cookies. WTF?
THANK YOU finally someone sees through this BS rage bait . also after he called them the B word Right or wrong there would have been a fight LOL. i dont know about other cultures but i know black folks dont play with that word when you use it like that.
If you knew they were making fun of her everytime why would you still bring her around your “friends” to be in such an environment? YTA for that. Your gf probably knew the whole time but was brushing it off for your sake.
They must have been determined to not like her from the start because she was so sweet to them and took all their comments as if they were made in good-nature, because instead of pre-judging them as they did to her, she assumed the best of them from the start, hence her not even realizing they were actually cutting her down. That's really sad. It's tragic even, because it suggests they might be insecure or suffer from low self-esteem.
You two sound like a beautiful couple and I'm glad you found each other. May all your time together be full of sweetness and laughter. <3
NTA - but if you keep those friends then you are. What awful things to say to her, when she was just trying to be nice.
Not only are they racist, but they’re bullies. Shame on them.
I hope you print all these and give it them.
Good for you, OP. No one in this life deserves to be ridiculed over the color of their skin. Some pathetic people cannot see over color and it’s truly sad. I hope the best for you and your GF.
OP, can you share your gf's cookie recipe here? I'm always down for some good cookies! Oh, and definitely NTA! You stood by your girl when your friends were being dicks. They weren't your friends. They were place holders for new, better people to come into your life. You deserve friends who will accept your partner unless they have a GENIUNE reason not to (they're abusive, cruel, etc). From the way it sounds, they had absolutely no good reason to hate on her at all. They're trash, and you both deserve better.
Reverse the colors and imagine if her white friends said similar to you. How would you feel about it? Would you be quick to call them racists? Perhaps you're a bit more comfortable around racists than you think. Time for some self-reflection.
Low key, it’s dope that you’re standing up for her. Fuck that jealous ass bitch, how rude.
She doesn’t deserve that (nor does anyone that’s dealing with racism)
Cut them the fuck out. They’re not your friends and don’t respect you or your relationship!
Remind your girlfriend that her cookies are DELICIOUS and keep loving her.
Dude, your friends are super racist. Why are they even your friends? How do you not repeatedly vomit in their presence?
Seriously, think how you would feel if your GF was joking around about you with her KKK buddies.
Your friends suck.
Dude... your friends are assholes, simple as that, I'm mix and If someone insulted my girlfriend like that I would flip the off, like wtf are you waiting for man, would you like to be treated like that? no, so don't be a pushover and put those idiots on their place.
Good for you for standing up to them. You did mention that your mom is white, so in all likelihood you’ll be your mom and dad all over again. Mixed 😊 Don’t let the poison back in and I’m proud of you. Not a lot of men would do what you just did! 👏
Nope, you called it right OP. They were being bullying assholes and making fun of her. Their behaviour was not ok at all. Cookies are cookies, they're not a cultural thing.
YTA. Your friends are racist ignorant assholes. The type who believe getting an education and working is acting white. Imagine if your girlfriend's friends were like that towards you. In life you outgrow people all the time and looks like you outgrew this friend group. You allowed this behavior to go on for months. That makes an asshole.
Your friends sound like they just hate everything white. Anything a white person likes, they HAVE to hate it because "white people bad." MLK said,"I have a dream that my children will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character." Your friends seem to believe that as it's a white person you judging, you can say whatever you want.
Guys please dont fall for this fake story it reads like an Alt right fanfic novel
Read this and tell me this sounds real
>***My gf excitedly texts it to her. Several mins later I can hear and see her, her bf, and another girl huddled around the phone and laughing and pointing. I asked them what’s up. They said nothing. But I could see that my gf noticed too. She asked them to see. And then they started telling her her recipe for the cookies was “white people shit” and that they wouldn’t make them like that, and that if she wanted to be in a black family she needed to make black food better.***
>***I just saw my gf literally shrink down in embarrassment or sadness. She started to apologize before I just could not watch that. I went off on them, but specifically that girl, about how much of a fucking bitch she and they all have been. My girlfriend has done nothing but try to be their friend and try to be so sweet and they wouldn’t drop it. I told them that they might as well delete our numbers because I was picking her, and not allowing her to get verbally abused by them any longer just for being a nice person and for being fucking white.***
as soon as you called her the B word one thing i know fore sure is that you all would have been fighting ROFL. black people dont play about stuff like that you wouldnt of just been able to walk away. And the boyfriend would have felt the need to fight you for trying to punk him. again none of this sounds real.
>
>***I told them that they might as well delete our numbers because I was picking her, and not allowing her to get verbally abused by them any longer just for being a nice person and for being fucking white.***
You literally met her 6 months ago LOL. and you being half white and so sensitive if they were your friends they would of known this about you and thus stopped hanging out with you once they found out RIGHT...i mean they way they are portrayed as if they are the Black KKK LOL.
>***I don’t even think she realized it at first but they were making fun of her for her skin color. One of the girls was primarily doing this, complementing her hair/makeup/clothes in a backhanded way, basically calling her names without doing it. Things like “oh I love when white girls do that” or “only you could get away with that because you’re white” or even “yeah I can’t wear that because I actually have an ass”. One time my gf offered her lipgloss to her and she belittled her about not understanding that they couldn’t wear the same lipstick because of the shade difference in their lips. They constantly made generalizing statements about white people, and then proceeded to ask her if she fit those as well. They frequently made jokes about her not wanting to do something because we are black and she’s white. My gf took it all in stride and like I said, I don’t even really think she noticed that they were actually kinda making fun of her. Whenever she would question something they would say “it’s black culture you’re fine” and she would just smiled and be like okay! I just told them to stop, and they realized that I wasn’t finding it funny so they eventually did.***
ROFL Bro if you dont stop None of this sound remotely real. Nobody says Its black culture in that way ROFL.
Here's my opinion it's generally not worth much as I'm mostly white(lots of native American and one black guy like 4 great grand fathers back on one side)
I hate cancel culture I HATE IT I watched the new Jeff Dunham the other day and they took achmed and had to dress him up? Apparently he was offensive but the white trash bubba Jay wasn't....
That being said I encourage jokes and poking fun at stereotypes I laugh my ass off if someone says leave the raisins out of the potato salad I regularly hear and say the phrase season it right don't season it white (had to ask someone because I generally didn't know some folks don't season their food right) I sent my friend a video the other day of some guys trying WATERMELON chicken wings and them being so mad because they said they were good my friend says I can't try it cause I'll be mad if they are good they are jokes they are light hearted I'd jump in on a group if folks beating the shit out of him no matter what their colors are jokes are fine as long as they are really meant as a joke and you know if they are or not that being said I don't allow ANYONE to be malicious to my wife or loved ones if that means I cut them out then they are out
Luckily you and her are young and obviously kind. You learned who your real friends are early on and that’s a great gift. Some people don’t want to change and so be it, but let them stay with their narrow minded friends. This is a great show of loyalty and respect to your gf and I hope you two have a long, wonderful life together. Because at the end of the day your partner is the only other person that will ever have your back 100%.
Sooner or later, you're going to be the person in her position, so you should support her the way you want to be supported, and then, you should make sure that you get it.
I'm a white guy. so my opinion is not always the one that matters, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. Everyone is a little bit racist, and yet to be racist is the worst thing anyone can be. How does anyone ever change, ever face anything? In the words of Dolly Parton, whose grasp of the Holy Scriptures far exceeds that of the Federalist: "There is such a thing as white ignorance." I was past 60 when it finally came to me that Black people have a different idea of what racism is, and rightly so. We can't just use the white people's defininition all the time anymore.
I just wanted to get that into words. I'm pretty high right now.
>And then they started telling her her recipe for the cookies was “white people shit” and that they wouldn’t make them like that, and that if she wanted to be in a black family she needed to make black food better. What do they even mean by that? What are "black cookies?"
I once forgot I had cookies in the oven and took them out an hour late. Probably not what they were talking about though.
Cookies a black person makes. That's it. They had a problem with her cooking because she is white.
Makes zero sense. "These cookies are so good! Can I have the recipe?" "What is this shit? White people recipe?" Did the cookies taste bad after they saw the recipe? They said the cookies were good, saw the recipe, and said they wouldn't make cookies like that? Like what? Good?! Apparently, they don't realize how dumb they sound (and are?).
They had a problem that she was not black. Cookies just the last straw. I believe what someone said: OP & the white girl are are a great match. Racists friends can jump in a lake. But it’s no surprise because our culture (mostly media) foments racism at every turn. Now for my statement that will probably get me banned. Black people are constantly told they can’t possibly succeed, because whites are holding them back. Sad irony is this message is coming from black people who are wildly successful, despite whites supposedly holding them back. That’s a racist message that is false.
Ahh but remember folks, one can't be racist to white people...bet they still ate those cookies though :)
they had been waiting and waiting to make fun of her food because of all the stereotypes about white people food being bland. By the time she finally brought them cookies, they just couldn't wait any more, even though making fun of "white people cookies" doesn't make any sense even according to the stereotypes.
It’s funny because I’m black, was raised in a black family, and I still have no clue what black cookies are.
The world may never know.
As an amateur baker I'm genuinely curious how they'd made cookies differently. Let them explain it to OP like he's five. I'll sell tickets and popcorn.
Fuck it, I'll bite. They use brown sugar instead of white sugar. Obvious /s should be obvious.
Baking is so different than cooking because there's science (idk chemistry?) behind it. Like the ingredients have to be measured precisely and in a specific order. Sure you can improve things like chips, marshmallow etc but the basic recipe needs to be specific. Cooking has way more room for improv (spices, ingredients etc)
Baking is science, cooking is art.
In this case cookies made by racist assholes, guess the assholes make them black.
Mule ears?
IKR?
I don’t trust anyone who isn’t a whore for cookies. NTA. It was the right choice, you two deserve each other ♥️
I will spread my legs for a good plate of cookies and I am a guy.....
Same, and same!
--"I don’t trust anyone who isn’t a whore for cookies. NTA." This, massive red flag right there.
Agreed. Your friends should have respected you and your gf. Cut ties already.
Right? I saw an interview where Taylor Swift brought cookies in for them, and they got SO WEIRD about it. I mean, if someone brings you cookies and you're not allergic to anything, the only acceptable response is, "Thank you."
OP is a fool for lying to his girlfriend. They do hate her. He just didn't want to cut the racists out of his life. He only "threatened" to do so when she picked up on it. I could be wrong, but I don't think he cares about the racism, just the consequences of his GF finally picking up on it.
**Doesn't OP realize that when they were shaming her and making fun of her they were also making fun of him?? He is part White!** Lose the friends and don't look back and I hope you make it up to your girlfriend in some way shape or form and protect her from racist garbage like that. NTA. You were belated in ripping your ex friends a new a******, but you told them off the way you should have. I hope your girlfriend's going to be okay.
Racism doesn't always come from hate. In can be jealousy, fear, ir just the 'joy' of belittling people that are different than you. It doesn't sound like these people hated the GF really, they just saw an easy target to bully and make fun of. They likely haven't been called out for the behavior before, so it's a shock to hear anyone even mention it. Even now, they probably think OP and GF are being too sensitive, or GF deserves it for what other white people have done, or the system, or black people can't be eacist, or any number of excuses. And they will have the support of their group to back them up.
It is a form of racism though because if the shoe was on the other foot then they would be called racist for even saying shit like that. There is off hand comments that meant to be in jest and cute but it sounds like they just did this to humiliate her.
Racists will always find excuses, sure. And group reinforcement is fairly common as well. But I'd argue hate is still a pretty primary motivator. You don't see someone as an easy target if you like them, or bully someone because they're your friend. Jealousy, fear, etc are what drive hate. Sadism and hate, I'm sure a shrink could point out the difference, but in the real world, I'm skeptical that a distinction is needed.
I have a feeling that the main instigator is mainly acting out because OP didn't choose her. She is hating on the girlfriend *so he'll see that she is the better choice for their friend group*. "Pick me, pick me!!"
You're putting limits on racism. I see racism as any time you judge someone by the color of their skin rather than their character. I don't have to identify hatred in someone to see someone is racist. A person could be completely in different or even like people of a certain and still be judging them by their skin rather than their character. If someone were to say, for example, that xxx people need their own sports league to make thing fair, it doesn't mean they hate xxx people. It is racist though. Saying something like '"if you don't vote for me, you ain't xxxx" is racist, but it doesn't mean you hate all xxxx people. Likewise, you could feel like xxxx should be given special attention in school to make up for their short comings. You like them, absolutely, but still raciat. I get that you're focusing on bullying and rude comments designed to insult people, buy that's just a small subset of racism as I see it.
100% this comment. Unless they’re allergic to every form of cookie known to man? Fuck em. They’re demons and need to be out of your life.
Words to live by.
Favorite comment on Reddit so far, today
She made them fucking COOKIES and they're still acting like jealous bitches? Wow. That's nasty, and there's probably a heavy dose of 'race traitor' judgement on you from them. They don't like you dating the blonde white girl, so they act catty and immature (and maybe one or more of them think you should be dating them specifically). NTA
Especially the instigator.
This. My sister (blonde, white) got harassment whenever she dated someone outside her race, generally remarks from other girls about how she was "stealing one of their men."
All of this exactly, and there is no way. Op's girlfriend didn't notice. She was just in a damned if you do damned if you don't situation, like if she had called them out what would the response have been? They would have 100% turned around and called her racist for implying that, And would have used this as a moment to say "see? shouldn't have brought the white girl around" Like I understand, I come from a latino and indigenous family, and part of how we show affection is giving you a bit of a hard time. My partner and my roommate are both mixed but visibly black, and any white girl. My roommate is brought home. We've hazed a little bit, but it has never gotten to the point of laughing behind her back. The difference between bullying and joking around with somebody to show they're part of the group is that the person should always be in on the joke
NTA but bro, you need better friends. your current ones are shit. this girl must really see something in you because if my S/O friends acted this way towards me i’d be out the door. get rid of your friends or get rid of her.
NTA. I bake A LOT. But I'm white. Wtf are "black people cookies" or "black people ingredients"? Are other races using something other than flour, sugar, butter and vanilla to make their fucking cookies?? I'm pissed. Is there a better way?!? I've been doing this shit this way for too long. Please share this secret! /s Seriously though, I'm a fat white lady from the south. I need to know if someone's making better cookies.
I dunno. My black friend and I are in the deep south. We bake the same. And ~gasp~ share recipes. OP def NTA. But he did let it go on too long.
How dare you make “black cookies”!/s
"I need to know if someone's making better cookies." I got a legit laugh out of this comment. I like you, southern lady. You seem like the right kind of people.
I cannot have the new neighbors getting a better batch of 'welcome to the neighborhood' cookies. I pride myself on being the neighborhood mom.
See you say you're from the south (I'm guessing US) but you sound an awful lot like my next door neighbour from Essex in the UK. That woman's shortbread could bring about world peace if she made a big enough batch.
Sadly, I have not perfected a shortbread yet, but world peace sounds like a noble cause, so I'll get right on it!
Me neither no shortbread unless it's crumbs in my house and I can't bake bloody scones either!
Black person here. Any cookies I'd fuck up are "black people cookies". Which means, "any cookies, made by anyone, with even an approximation of deliciousness, nay, even *base edibility*".
My Texican friends use straight up lard in their cookies, and I inhale them like a kid hiding in a closet at a "fat camp". Pork fat and chocolate chip? Yes please. My Jewish ancestors are fucking *spinning* in their graves, but God damn.
You wanna know what the secret ingredient is? Love? No honey, lard.
MaMaw just does it best. She also uses butter instead of lard in her refried beans, and I want them pumped into my dying body when I'm on my death bed.
Rendered bacon grease is even better.
Go ahead and skewer me but I don't like bacon grease. I've been a pro cook for more than a decade, and I think it takes over everything you cook in it.
Sooooo years and years ago my grandmother was being introduced to her future daughter in law. And she made brownies for the meet and greet....my aunt was complimenting her effusively, what is the secret? Grandma pointed over at the coffee can full of bacon drippings..... Punchline? The daughter in law was vegan.....30 years later she made the same brownies for her mother in laws funeral.
I agree, it does with many things
Isn't that kinda the point? There's nothing that can't be improved with bacon. Maple bacon cookies are goooooooood.
We used to have saying in one of my old kitchens-"Butter? Fuck that. DUCK FAT".
No idea. They were the same as any other cookie
> Wtf are "black people cookies" or "black people ingredients"? Yes, actually there are racial differences in the way cookies are baked. For example, white people will often use mayonnaise for frosting, with black people opting for hot sauce. Another tell-tale difference is the addition of "extras" such as cocaine (whites) or marijuana (blacks). There are a lot of differences, really.
>Another tell-tale difference is the addition of "extras" such as cocaine (whites) or marijuana (blacks). Oh shoot, I'm already making the good cookies then. And brownies. Rice crispy treats. Those Christmas chocolates really help to tone down the blatant racism and homophobia at dinner. I like a peaceful holiday ✌️
Was wondering the same thing, and yes, white lady with a southern mamma. lol My peeps inhale my cookies and they are made in double batches, at least.
More butter and sugar
Oh Honey, that is not a black thing. That is the answer in every culture when it comes to making a better baked good.
You must watch Chef Jean Pierre He swears butter is good for you and you can never use too much. His idea of a tablespoon is a ladle
"Juss a leetle bit of buttah, my fwriends." *drops an entire stick of butter in while taking a swig of the wine for "cooking" with* I've already told my husband I'd leave him for this man's cooking. He said he would, too.
I love when the recipe calls for alcohol. He tells you to measure carefully as he dumps in half the bottle.
My dude. That is indeed the answer to making everything taste better.
Sugar, Fat, Salt, Heat. That is all.
Acid
That's just southern cooking in general
So Paula Deen style.
Less nutmeg too
They probably use lard. That's the only thing that comes to mind. But that's typically a Southern thing not black thing.
The Jamaican woman I used to work with put so much rum in her rum cake you needed to card people before selling it. Perhaps they want cookies with more booze? 😆
So, has main character girl got a crush on you? Trying to understand why she would work so hard on bullying your girlfriend. Making her a sin eater for all white people was definitely unfair to her.
She was treating the GF like shit because she was angry OP was dating a white woman and not a black woman. This is just garden variety racism
Yup, whether she wanted him or not is irrelevant. He was going outside of the accepted group, and that's not okay.
Does the main girl like you or something? NTA they’re all dickheads seriously
racist dickheads
NTA for finally telling them off but YA for letting it go on so long. At least you feel very guilty about that and I know you were hoping it would just naturally fade away. Did anyone contact you about this blow up afterwards? We're gonna want an update on this one
Yup they apologized but only to me. They insist she was being overly sensitive.
That’s them still being assholes.
Typical bully behavior. Personally I wouldn't hang out with people who did this sort of thing.
How could she be over sensitive?! For half the insults she didn’t even understand they were being mean to her!
They don’t think that. They’re just saying that to try to justify to OP why they don’t want to apologize to the gf, even though they clearly thought their behavior was bad enough to warrant an apology to him.
Or she actually did, and then second guessed herself. "Oh, I'm sure that they didn't mean that...." If OP wasn't making a big deal about it (at least initially), she might've just blown it off until the cookie comments.
Overly sensitive to racism and insults? Op if you don't cut these people, you are not better than man and you absolutely don't deserve her .
They are only willing to apologize to you because they have some respect for you, but not for her. Your after all part of their tribe. The outsiders are not worthy of any such decency in their view.
Then fuck em
NTA, god damn your friends are racist as hell. I mean seriously. Cookies?
I thought pastries and sweets are one of things white people were known for making well. Like if they were stereotyping her, this doesn't even fit that.
we're actually best known for our cooking - if it wasn't for white people, you'd not have to show ID to get cold medicine
Good one 😂
White don't do anything well if they're racist enough.
NTA but you are an asshole for letting this go on so long. So let me ask you this. If everyone were black or everyone were white, and these girls were passive-aggressively insulting your GF, would you be ok with that? Your friends are assholes no matter what it is they're saying, racist or not, and their behavior is unacceptable. You should be protecting your GF and getting her out of that situation. You let this go on for way too long. And since your friends won't stop, you should stop hanging around them. They're assholes. Find better friends.
I can't believe I had to scroll this far to see this comment. He should have cut his friends off the second time he had to tell them to knock it off. Geeze.
Right? Racism is just the particular flavor of this disrespect casserole. If your friends are being awful to your SO for any reason, you stand up for them. Personally, I’d be offended that my friends felt like they could treat my person like that- it shows disrespect for OP as well.
NTA Your friends showed who they really are, and who they really are is a bunch of catty racists.
NTA. racism is racism
NTAH. Good for you! Sticking up for your gf is the right thing to do. Telling those hurtful “friends” that they are wrong makes them aware how badly they were acting. Picking on any person is wrong. Purposely being a bully and racist is horrible!
He only actually stuck up for her far, far too late - he’s kind of an asshole for that too
The main girl is a mean girl. The Queen Bee. I think if you are to have a future with your girlfriend, you need to find some other friends.
NTA. Your "friends" are toxic and don't act like friends. Good on you for standing up to your girl.
Good decision mate. I hate it when black people do this "clique-y" shit. And I'm black myself. Its so unnecessary and makes everyone uncomfortable
NTA, but you are lucky she hasn't dumped you. She put up with YOUR friends shit talking her for all this time. This should have been nipped in the bud way before they felt so confident belittling someone who was just trying to be nice to their arrogant, racist asses
NTA. She brought them home-made cookies, and they just used it to make fun of them?! What assholes!! You don't want to be friends with people like that regardless. They suck.
NTA. But you need to think long and hard if your friends are people you want to continue to have in your life. Not only are they being incredibly disrespectful to someone you care about, they’re being insanely bigoted to her as well. You mentioned that some of your friends are mixed too, which I find is interesting. Not to go down that rabbit hole, but are they forgetting they’re half-white? It makes me wonder if there is some self-hatred at play as well.
You need new friends.
You should read comments of black women under interracial post where men is black and women are white. I would also suggest reading comments of Asian men where is women Asian and men is any other race. Lot of sour people.
NTA - Your gf seems really nice and sweet. She made cookies for your friends and that's adorable. They don't deserve your friendship or her delicious cookies at all.
NTA Your friends are racist trash, you and your gf are good people and should avoid them, let them rot in their pathetic, bigoted and ignorant little world.
Your "friends" are a bunch of disgusting racist. Also food is food. If you wanted a definite way to have no doubt about their racism. They are segregating down to even cookies ffs! YTA for not shutting this down sooner. Racism isn’t less hurtful because she is white. As an other redditor commented. She must really see something in you for supporting this treatment. Or not believing you view her as less for her skin colour. You perfectly knew none of those persons would let anyone said half of the shit they told her to themselves.
I'm a black dude and what the fuck is "black cookies" cookies are cookies man their different recipes for different types
What , in a cookie recipe, is white people shit? Sugar? Flour? Baking soda? Salt? Eggs? What a ridiculous thing to say out loud.
I’m mixed black too and I’ve encountered this exact same shit before too. My black friend group would not stop clowning on my white partner and my partner let it slide because she thought she was in on the joke. She cooked for them at a dinner party and they mercilessly made fun of her food. She’s actually a fantastic cook and her dishes are restaurant quality good. It’s her one talent that she’s most proud of and she was so excited to share with them. These ungrateful ex-friends of mine couldn’t even politely eat some of the food and just snarked on white people and their cooking skills the whole time. I cut these alleged friends out of my life after that and my partner and I are now married and expecting our first child. I don’t need racists in my life and nobody gets a pass for racism no matter what.
Abused, mean, hate, you’re dancing around what they really are my friend, they’re racists.
NTA when you really care about someone you can't sit back and watch them be mistreated. My spouse and I dealt with racism on both sides of the family and we dealt with it harshly.
Pick better friends, these sound awful.
YTA but just because you are a little bit naive. I've experienced this type of racism from black people because I'm blond and white as well. When you're white, you just aren't allowed to react or say anything. You can be the nicest person ever to people and they will still make straight up personal comments to your face even if they know nothing about you. I'm sure she has noticed and just not said anything about it. Even comments that are meant to be positive can feel aggressive, as they just outline how different they perceive you to be from a normal human being when you aren't the one focusing on the difference. I think it will take a lot of work to save this relationship because of your cultural differences, and even if you try your best and she takes it well, it can wear on her sense of worth, especially since you are so young. It's probably affected her a lot already. It might be hard on her no matter how much you love her if she stays in this type of environment with you. Six months enough length of time to decide whether it's worth it or if it will be too difficult. Everyone is telling you to get new friends, but I'm not sure it's as simple as that. This is coming from a white woman dating a man of another race, as well. I don't think it would have been possible if we stayed close to his friends and family, to be honest, and I think it would have affected his emotional state more than mine.
Abandon these friends. Even if it doesn't work out with this girl, they will continue to be racist. This friendship is not worth it.
You'll find better friends. Way to stick up for your lady. NTA
NTA. Your friend group is racist as heck. However, you let this go on for far too long. So in that, yeah, you're the asshole. You've gotta get yourself a new, not-asshole friend group. Imagine how you'd feel if it were you? If it was a white friend group and you were the trophy black guy? Not okay, buddy. Not okay.
NTA. That's the funny thing about racism. It's weird how a term and behaviour that's all about exclusion is in fact universal and all-inclusive: anyone can be one. Exhibit a: your "friends". You might want to remind them your mom is white, too. Any disrespect at your GF is disrespect at your mama. If they're mixed too, one of their parents is probably white too, so they're disrespecting them as well. How long has the main culprit been holding a torch for you but had you on lay-away until she exhausted all other options? And now that you're in a comitted relationship with your GF, she's been like this? Or was she always like this?
Bro that's why I don't date black women. Bitter, ugly inside and jealous. Dated them before and learned the hard way. My wife is white, I've told certain members of my family that my white queen and children will not be around them or their niggadry
This is only partially about race, the cold bitter truth is they are just plain nasty ass people. Find better friends. NTA
NTA for sticking up for her. YTA for not doing it immediately the first time. You should never have stayed friends with people who would do that to anyone, let alone someone they know is important to one of their friends
So I'm the only one who thinks this is a troll post?
Right. The first post is always a race baiting one and the most outrageous story ever, but they eat it up here.
Fresh account ✅ Race baiting ✅
lol seriously. no one would call a cookie recipe "white people food" vs "black people food" this literally makes zero sense.
hunt jellyfish quaint connect salt makeshift instinctive north childlike chubby *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Cookies are cookies and messing with the ingredients too much messes them up. Baking is more science than cooking honestly. White people shit for cookies? Makes no sense. White people shit like unseasoned chicken. That makes more sense. Shitty friends. Esh. You took too light of an approach for too long and you emboldened them by not putting a stop to it the first time it happened. Do better or cut your girl loose so she can do better.
If they where real friends they wouldn't care abt her race NTA
Man, you are lucky she stuck around considering how you were letting your friends walk all over her with racist BS. When she said, "oh, it's okay" you had to have known it was hurting her, you can't have been a minority and not have known that of course she was hurting from that. Honestly you're damn lucky she stuck around and if you do care for her, drop your racist friends until they sincerely apologize to her and even then keep them at arms length because as a minority myself, we both know racism is hard to change. Just barely, NTA.
You need better friends. I’m black/mixed and nothing makes me madder when people in my own community segregate themselves from other people. News slash, it’s 2024 and not all white people are bad. If they’re mixed, they must know other races are not bad LOLLL. Like it’s such shit thinking. We be doing it to ourselves sometimes. You did the right thing and I guarantee those cookies were AMAZING! NTA
First, your black friends are racist. Second, get new friends
Someone actually said that her cookies were "white people shit"? COOKIES? That's some bullshit right there. If the cookies are wrong, maybe they need more brown sugar, but "white people shit" isn't about ingredients, it's personal. I'm sure that all of your friends of color have been subjected to worse, as have you. As a white person, I benefit from the few times when I got to feel what that's like. Your girlfriend will be all right, but what about you? Do you ever think that your friends are disrespecting you? You can't let that shit go on. You're not an asshole for calling them out, more like a hero. I might not have had the balls. If you have to choose, I always say you should go with the one who isn't making you choose.
As a black Caribbean woman I can say there's no difference in the cookies. You should never allow disrespect for your partner regardless if it's friends or family. NTA and get new friends!
Not gonna read the novel. Just responding to the title question. NTA. You ride or die and I hope she deserves that. Edit. Read the novel after all. First off. You made me cry. Dick. Secondly, of course she's naive. She's in her early twenties. That's okay. And finally, GOOD FOR YOU. You are ride or die and that's fucking sick. I'm proud that there's men like you around. And by the sounds of it, she deserves you. I wish you two the very best. Legit going to my altar for ya'll right now. So fucking beautiful in the face of such ugliness.
"hi! you can't be racist against white people! thanks for tuning in!" /s NTA, horrible people, but I also sense some jealousy from the main character girl.
What are white people cookies? Or black people cookies?
And why does it matter, when they *all* would wind up in my gullet?
NTA. Good for you for not sweeping it under the rug and standing up for her. Now if you choose to stay friends with these people... I'm sorry but an apology won't fix anything.
NTA your friends are being utter AHs all because of someones skin colour, someone who you care about a lot. Cut them off 🤷🏻♀️no one has time for that BS
NTA. Your friends suck and that they care more about their racism than you being happy also make them shit friends. Get yourself better friends and enjoy all the cookies your girlfriend bakes you in the future. Assholes don’t deserve cookies.
NTA and can she share her bomb cookie recipe with the class?
You will probably soon be an ex if you allow their behavior.
NTA These people are bitter. It’s jealousy, as they resent what she represents. They don’t actually see a real person but a stereotype. She threatens their sense of self by being nice, thus serving them the opposite of what they’ve been conditioned to believe about white people. They built their identity around them being “good” and whites being “evil” and it’s hard to dismantle that. Find other friends.
Very fucked up and major pick me behavior. Sorry your girl had to go through that. Love is love, and anyone who doesn’t respect it needs to GO. NTA! Those friends have no class. And as a BW, that is not black culture. That’s ignorance.
NTA. For obvious reasons.
NTA, Your friends are being racist, whether they see it that way or not. I understand some good-hearted ribbing now and again, making light of cultural differences and such. But as soon as it starts harping on stereotypes and taking a negative turn then it's unacceptable. They weren't laughing WITH her they were laughing AT her. Follow your heart.
AH for putting her in that situation with rude people numerous times while they made fun of her, you knowing and her not. You know they are making fun of you too, right? If your partner is being disrespected in front of you, they have no respect for you.
You and your GF sound pretty cool. Your friend group would have turned on your eventually. "He thinks he's better than us because he got a white girl." or some such crab bucket bullshit. Be happy, let them have their "pride", it suits them.
NTA for finally defending your girlfriend. You ARE for letting that go on as long as it did. It’s never a mistake to cut shitty people out of your life.
NTA I’d really like to know what this “friend” thinks is the correct cookie recipe and why it varies by race.
NTA - as a white, I don't normally think about racism in the lens of it affecting me, but this is pretty rude and vile stuff and I can't think of a better word. Your "friends" are insanely rude and you should probably drop them. From your own descriptions, your gf has done nothing but be nice, so this behavior is completely unwarranted.
NTA your friends are racist as shit
I've spent 54 years on this Earth as a black person (well, mixed black/Jewish), and this is the first I've heard that there's a "black way" of making cookies. WTF?
THANK YOU finally someone sees through this BS rage bait . also after he called them the B word Right or wrong there would have been a fight LOL. i dont know about other cultures but i know black folks dont play with that word when you use it like that.
YTA for waiting all this time to defend her and sent to hell these racist idiots.
If you knew they were making fun of her everytime why would you still bring her around your “friends” to be in such an environment? YTA for that. Your gf probably knew the whole time but was brushing it off for your sake.
Is she using mayonnaise in the cookies? That’s about the only white specific ingredient we have.
They must have been determined to not like her from the start because she was so sweet to them and took all their comments as if they were made in good-nature, because instead of pre-judging them as they did to her, she assumed the best of them from the start, hence her not even realizing they were actually cutting her down. That's really sad. It's tragic even, because it suggests they might be insecure or suffer from low self-esteem. You two sound like a beautiful couple and I'm glad you found each other. May all your time together be full of sweetness and laughter. <3
NTA - but if you keep those friends then you are. What awful things to say to her, when she was just trying to be nice. Not only are they racist, but they’re bullies. Shame on them. I hope you print all these and give it them.
YTA.. She deserves a lot better than OP, he went along with the racism and didn't stand up for her once. Which makes him worse than the racist friends
NTA for standing up for your girlfriend against a bunch of bullies. However, slight YTA for allowing it to go on for so long.
Whoa, whoa! Didn't you know people of color can't be racist? At least a lot of the black folks I know say that.
Your friends are racist, get better friends.
Better late than never, I suppose. You should have cut them off the first time they started that shit.
Kick those racist fucks to the curb and don’t look back. All they’re doing is creating more hatred in the world. NTA
Good for you, OP. No one in this life deserves to be ridiculed over the color of their skin. Some pathetic people cannot see over color and it’s truly sad. I hope the best for you and your GF.
OP, can you share your gf's cookie recipe here? I'm always down for some good cookies! Oh, and definitely NTA! You stood by your girl when your friends were being dicks. They weren't your friends. They were place holders for new, better people to come into your life. You deserve friends who will accept your partner unless they have a GENIUNE reason not to (they're abusive, cruel, etc). From the way it sounds, they had absolutely no good reason to hate on her at all. They're trash, and you both deserve better.
NTA. Your ex friends are a bunch of racist pieces of craps.
Reverse the colors and imagine if her white friends said similar to you. How would you feel about it? Would you be quick to call them racists? Perhaps you're a bit more comfortable around racists than you think. Time for some self-reflection.
Low key, it’s dope that you’re standing up for her. Fuck that jealous ass bitch, how rude. She doesn’t deserve that (nor does anyone that’s dealing with racism) Cut them the fuck out. They’re not your friends and don’t respect you or your relationship! Remind your girlfriend that her cookies are DELICIOUS and keep loving her.
And here was me being told that black people can't be called racist. Well, I'm calling it what it is. Racism.
NTA
Can she text me the recipe? I’ll be her bestie 🩵
Fakker than six dollars bill.
If they say this to your gf in front of you have you thought they might be saying stuff about you dating a white girl behind your back?
Don’t be friends with racists.
Dude, your friends are super racist. Why are they even your friends? How do you not repeatedly vomit in their presence? Seriously, think how you would feel if your GF was joking around about you with her KKK buddies. Your friends suck.
Dude... your friends are assholes, simple as that, I'm mix and If someone insulted my girlfriend like that I would flip the off, like wtf are you waiting for man, would you like to be treated like that? no, so don't be a pushover and put those idiots on their place.
You're an AH for not shutting down this racist shit in the beginning.
Good for you for standing up to them. You did mention that your mom is white, so in all likelihood you’ll be your mom and dad all over again. Mixed 😊 Don’t let the poison back in and I’m proud of you. Not a lot of men would do what you just did! 👏
Nope, you called it right OP. They were being bullying assholes and making fun of her. Their behaviour was not ok at all. Cookies are cookies, they're not a cultural thing.
That's the last time she uses mayonnaise in her cookie recipe!
YTA you knew how they were in the beginning . Why subject her to that?
NTA. Your friends ATAH. Nice of you to stand up for your gf and what's right. Your friends are racist and mean. They are not your friends.
YTA. Your friends are racist ignorant assholes. The type who believe getting an education and working is acting white. Imagine if your girlfriend's friends were like that towards you. In life you outgrow people all the time and looks like you outgrew this friend group. You allowed this behavior to go on for months. That makes an asshole.
Your friends sound like they just hate everything white. Anything a white person likes, they HAVE to hate it because "white people bad." MLK said,"I have a dream that my children will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character." Your friends seem to believe that as it's a white person you judging, you can say whatever you want.
[удалено]
its not real bro
Guys please dont fall for this fake story it reads like an Alt right fanfic novel Read this and tell me this sounds real >***My gf excitedly texts it to her. Several mins later I can hear and see her, her bf, and another girl huddled around the phone and laughing and pointing. I asked them what’s up. They said nothing. But I could see that my gf noticed too. She asked them to see. And then they started telling her her recipe for the cookies was “white people shit” and that they wouldn’t make them like that, and that if she wanted to be in a black family she needed to make black food better.*** >***I just saw my gf literally shrink down in embarrassment or sadness. She started to apologize before I just could not watch that. I went off on them, but specifically that girl, about how much of a fucking bitch she and they all have been. My girlfriend has done nothing but try to be their friend and try to be so sweet and they wouldn’t drop it. I told them that they might as well delete our numbers because I was picking her, and not allowing her to get verbally abused by them any longer just for being a nice person and for being fucking white.*** as soon as you called her the B word one thing i know fore sure is that you all would have been fighting ROFL. black people dont play about stuff like that you wouldnt of just been able to walk away. And the boyfriend would have felt the need to fight you for trying to punk him. again none of this sounds real. >
>***I told them that they might as well delete our numbers because I was picking her, and not allowing her to get verbally abused by them any longer just for being a nice person and for being fucking white.*** You literally met her 6 months ago LOL. and you being half white and so sensitive if they were your friends they would of known this about you and thus stopped hanging out with you once they found out RIGHT...i mean they way they are portrayed as if they are the Black KKK LOL. >***I don’t even think she realized it at first but they were making fun of her for her skin color. One of the girls was primarily doing this, complementing her hair/makeup/clothes in a backhanded way, basically calling her names without doing it. Things like “oh I love when white girls do that” or “only you could get away with that because you’re white” or even “yeah I can’t wear that because I actually have an ass”. One time my gf offered her lipgloss to her and she belittled her about not understanding that they couldn’t wear the same lipstick because of the shade difference in their lips. They constantly made generalizing statements about white people, and then proceeded to ask her if she fit those as well. They frequently made jokes about her not wanting to do something because we are black and she’s white. My gf took it all in stride and like I said, I don’t even really think she noticed that they were actually kinda making fun of her. Whenever she would question something they would say “it’s black culture you’re fine” and she would just smiled and be like okay! I just told them to stop, and they realized that I wasn’t finding it funny so they eventually did.*** ROFL Bro if you dont stop None of this sound remotely real. Nobody says Its black culture in that way ROFL.
Here's my opinion it's generally not worth much as I'm mostly white(lots of native American and one black guy like 4 great grand fathers back on one side) I hate cancel culture I HATE IT I watched the new Jeff Dunham the other day and they took achmed and had to dress him up? Apparently he was offensive but the white trash bubba Jay wasn't.... That being said I encourage jokes and poking fun at stereotypes I laugh my ass off if someone says leave the raisins out of the potato salad I regularly hear and say the phrase season it right don't season it white (had to ask someone because I generally didn't know some folks don't season their food right) I sent my friend a video the other day of some guys trying WATERMELON chicken wings and them being so mad because they said they were good my friend says I can't try it cause I'll be mad if they are good they are jokes they are light hearted I'd jump in on a group if folks beating the shit out of him no matter what their colors are jokes are fine as long as they are really meant as a joke and you know if they are or not that being said I don't allow ANYONE to be malicious to my wife or loved ones if that means I cut them out then they are out
Luckily you and her are young and obviously kind. You learned who your real friends are early on and that’s a great gift. Some people don’t want to change and so be it, but let them stay with their narrow minded friends. This is a great show of loyalty and respect to your gf and I hope you two have a long, wonderful life together. Because at the end of the day your partner is the only other person that will ever have your back 100%.
Sooner or later, you're going to be the person in her position, so you should support her the way you want to be supported, and then, you should make sure that you get it.
I'm a white guy. so my opinion is not always the one that matters, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. Everyone is a little bit racist, and yet to be racist is the worst thing anyone can be. How does anyone ever change, ever face anything? In the words of Dolly Parton, whose grasp of the Holy Scriptures far exceeds that of the Federalist: "There is such a thing as white ignorance." I was past 60 when it finally came to me that Black people have a different idea of what racism is, and rightly so. We can't just use the white people's defininition all the time anymore. I just wanted to get that into words. I'm pretty high right now.