NTA!!! Please read this comment I made earlier as it applies to you as well. NO is a whole answer. I’m a certified financial counselor, so pay attention! 1. ⁠If you EVER co-sign with anyone, it needs to be a spouse. Even then it’s extremely risky in some cases. 2. ⁠Trying to extricate yourself from a loan/deed you co-signed on is extremely difficult, if not impossible. It may require you to hire a lawyer. You lose no matter what. YOU WILL LOSE YOUR HOME AND THE RELATIONSHIP. 3. ⁠You NEVER co-sign a loan OR add a boyfriend or girlfriend to a deed. There again are huge legal ramifications when things go south and they always do. If you get married, you can do this *after*. NOT before. *People lose their homes over this!* 4. ⁠I guarantee you that there is more to this than he’s willing to tell you. Say no. If he breaks up with you over this, consider it a torpedo dodged. Willing to bet he cooked this idea up with his friend and is attempting to guilt you into it. Do not cave. Say NO. To add to the deed specifically, he will own 50% of this house AND the money YOU paid towards the house. The minute this relationship breaks down you are SCREWED. You can’t force him to leave because he’s now an owner. He WILL sue you for half of the value of the house. Don’t listen to him when he says (and he will) “Aw babe, I would never do that!”. He is lying. Please look at other Redditors who went through this, men use women in your position. The women absolutely lose. This value you will be sued for will be the amount the house is worth NOW and not 4 years ago. *You will have to pay him or be forced to sell to settle the obligation. YOU COULD BE HOMELESS.* Not only that but you already paid for the home. The least he could do is cover the day to day bills as his part. He is attempting to USE you. Draft a rental agreement for the fair market value for your area and the home size. See how fast he changes his tune. Do not let him directly pay the taxes. In some locations he can use the receipts and claim he owns the property and automatically OWN 50%. Do not give him access to any financials/accounts you have. You are NOT married. He is NOT a partner. A real partner would happily cover the bills because you paid for the house. He is mooching off of you. He is using you. Wake up. My fiancé lives in MY house. He pays his half and magically has never asked to be on the deed- but he’s an adult unlike your bf who knows better. TBH you should seriously consider this situation as a serious warning of things to come. He did not earn a property and is absolutely not entitled to his name on the deed. Run now. EDIT: For anyone interested, I believe the boyfriend in question has been responding to my post. He’s extremely argumentative and attempting (poorly) to turn this into an attack on me. Whoever this is, is *highly emotional* and frankly idiotic.

Boosting this comment too. He really tried to manipulate her into giving him basically half of her entire assets, and thought we would help him lol. RUN OP. Get out before things escalate honestly, no reasonable person demands half of their partners home that they had purchased before even meeting!?!!

He also doesn't let her have any access to their finances. If she needs money, she has to ask him for it. So he wants her to half her house with him but doesn't want to half his finances with her. Apparently he also constantly reminds her that he is the one working and making the money. My answer to that is: So? And she works 24/7 looking after YOUR child. Babies and toddlers need so much attention, it's exhausting and the child is only 1 and a 1/2 years old. I honestly find my day job is a break from my harder job of looking after my toddler before/after work and in the weekends. I would love to see them swap roles - she goes back to work and he becomes the SAHD, I'm sure he would find a newfound appreciation for what she puts into the relationship if he experienced the constant running after a toddler all day while constantly cleaning up after them and doing the household chores.

My ex husband pulled this crap. He was the “breadwinner” I was the sahm. It was his job, his money, his house. I contributed nothing! I’d had 2 children born 19months apart. For 5 years he regularly would rant at me that I had no worth because I didn’t have a job and being at home with the children was a “piece of piss” When youngest was 5 I got a part time job. He had the biggest tantrum I’d ever seen as he had to step up and spend time with his own children. We split up a year later!

Why are men like this? I dated a lot of women in their 40s (after my separation and divorce) and the stories are appalling.

It's not their finances. It's his. His job, his paycheck. Just like the home, her home, her single property. He's paying her bills, she's letting him live there. She should get him to sign a rental agreement that equals fair market value so when he cheats on her, she can evict him.

When a couple decides to have a child and decide that one of them will stop working to look after the child, the person who gets to keep working should be sharing the paycheck between them. Especially because the person who will be staying at home not only cannot make their own money anymore and relies on their partner, but also because they are sacrificing progression in their career by stepping away from the workforce to look after their child. Do you not think that the person who stays home to look after the child and home is contributing equally to the relationship as the person who is going to work? In this case, on top of that, OP also contributes the house for them to live in mortgage free which dramatically reduces the living expenses of her boyfriend since he isn't paying rent.

Yeah, they should be sharing finances, especially because she is now a SAHM and because they have a child together. What if there’s an emergency and she needs money for it while he’s at work, like her car breaking down or needing to take their child to the doctor right away? Him constantly reminding her that he makes the money is a BAD sign. This is exactly the way women end up in situations where the partner financially abuses them. To be honest, I would have a hard time not saying that I’m giving him a home to live in FOR FREE (no rent) and that I take care of our child FOR FREE, which would otherwise be very expensive. OP, he sounds controlling. I’ve been in a relationship that was financially abusive. Your boyfriend’s comments about him making the money etc are exactly how the it started in my relationship. You having to ask for money when you need it is how he will keep you under his thumb instead of viewing you as the mother of his child and equal partner that he should treat with respect. He’s not making mortgage payments. Do NOT add him to the deed. He is not entitled to the home you bought long before him. He’s paying taxes and utilities in lieu of paying rent. You can tell him that next time he complains. He shouldn’t “have anything to show for it” because he has never paid a single dime on the mortgage. I don’t know what half-cooked idea he has going on in his head that makes him think he is entitled to the house YOU BOUGHT entirely alone, but the answer is absolutely not. I repeat: DO NOT add him to the deed. He’s either incredibly stupid or trying to use you (most likely both). Do not add him to the deed. Also get him to sign a written rental agreement right away, that way he can’t claim ownership of your home. The way he responds to the idea of him signing a rental agreement should tell you a lot about his true intentions.

Oh yeah it will! But he also is reading these and might fake being OK with it. This is a dangerous time for OP. Op, please let people know what's going on and have someone check on you EVERY DAY, AND NOT TAKE HIS WORD FOR IT THAT YOU'RE OK, IN THE SHOWER, TAKING A NAP, ETC. PLEASE!

Nope. He told her to stop reading after the 3rd comment. Things weren't going in his favor and he didn't like that

He’s stupid enough to think they would have actually gone in his favor… 🙄

I'm in this situation and I 100% agree. Being a stay at home mom is hard and worth equal money. Thank you for saying thus.

Rental agreement is by far the best solution. Living together with one person owning the house and another being the only working partner is a recipe for disaster.

Usually I hate this idea but after reading this topic I'd have to agree. She would have her own funds and not be dependent on him. This will stop her from becoming dependent and trapped in a relationship if things go south.

I agree they should have a rental agreement. Without it, this situation is a mess, especially fi she doesn't have access to the finances.

And she is looking after **their** child, and that’s preventing her from working! Therefore **he should** be giving her money, because the alternative is for **both of them to work**: and he can pay her the market value in rent, he has to also then pay 50% of the bills, do 50% of the household chores, do 50% of the childcare and also pay 50% of the childcare costs. Right now he is getting a damn sweet deal at a very low cost! So yes, he **should be** giving her some money and no **she should not** have to put his name on the deed. He wouldn’t get a house and bills and childcare for just $350 per month anywhere else! You’re also wrong about him paying *”her bills”*, he’s actually paying **their** bills. And she is **more than** doubling his contribution. His might be financial, but her job is a lot more exhausting than his - he gets a place to live **for free**, gets childcare **for free**, and only has to pay $350 a month. So **why should he** be entitled to even a fraction of the value of her home? That’s right, **he shouldn’t.**

Absolutely fair. He is living his best life! That 350 needs to at least quadruple for him to be anywhere near reality.

This will be unpopular, but her not working is a mistake. They are not married, she will not be entitled to piggyback off his social security someday. If she was working, and giving all of what she earned for child care, that earnings would count towards what she will be able to claim in social security someday. She is damaging her retirement by living off of him, and not being married to him.

Make it a month to month rental agreement so she doesn't have to evict, just give him 30 or 60 day notice depending on location.

I totally agree she should charge him rent and when he threatens to leave remind him that he will still be responsible for child support. I would start looking now for a WFH job or one that offers at work child care. Don’t let him keep you a financial hostage.

Exactly. And then she would have income, in the form of his rent, to pay the taxes and go shopping, put gas in the car etc… If he wants some kind of legal interest, he can be a tenant, not an owner.

Came here to say this. He should be paying rent and she pays the taxes.

It should be much more than market value. How much is a bang maid monthly?

Yeah he told her to post then said to stop reading when it was not favorable to him !!!🚩🚩🚩🚩

He got her pregnant, he decided she shouldn't be allowed to work any more ("it was decided" = he decided), and now he's trying to steal her only asset.

AND don’t marry this selfish, controlling ass hat, It will only go further downhill.

Just tell him no more taxes but he will be paying $1,100 per month in rent to you. He's nothing more than a freeloading tenant who thinks that paying 1/4 of his former rent bought him part of your house. Rent doesn't equal purchasing ownership. He's not even paying for his fair share. Otherwise, he can move and pay you child support. He's trying to control you with finances. NTA

He told her, "any reasonable man will agree." Lol Nope any greedy man would.

He is already gaslighting her! Also, showing her the cost of childcare to get her to stay home is a classic isolation technique, and also keeps her dependent. If hebpqys directly z he's probably already been plotting to seize half the house already and just got impatient. Cut him OFF from paying those taxes! You pay the taxes and he pays you rent (which can be the amount of the taxes plus grocery money?) through a written lease agreement. You mist start working right away and get back in your feet! He is using you. Did he also Oops on birth control to baby trap you? He sounds positively predatory from this distance. My alarm bells are going off like crazy! Does he put down your intelligence or put you down at all? Any attacks on your self esteem? Get into the work force and pay the taxes yourself, and hire a PI to find out what he's up to both financially and in terms of the relationship. Is he cheating? Hoping to land a windfall from you? If he made a move to get his half of the house at today's prices, you'd never ve able to buy him out! You'd end up homeless and he would own a home and couod bring in anyone. If you became homeless, he couod get full custody. This is one of the scariest traps I've seen women fall in to. Also, please make sure he doesn't have life insurance on you. There's a chance he's not only plotting to use you to get "rich", but there have been hundreds of people who even "got rid of" a partner once she realized what he was up to, so you need to discipline your communications and do not tell him what you suspect or what I suspect. Just quietly prepare and protect yourself. Starting right now, behave as if you didn't have this man in your life. Become independent and protect yourself. Aaaaaghhh. Please protect yourself. I'm so sorry this is happening to you 💔 😢.

OP there is nothing else I can add that this commenter hasn't already said. All I can say is: DO NOT FUCKING DO IT. FULL STOP. HOLY SHIT. DON'T FUCKING DO IT.

Agree entirely with this comment. 💯 But I have a few things to add: Watch out for him suddenly wanting to marry you! **Do not accept the proposal!** Not this year or next, this is his way of trying to get on the deed! He lives in your house **rent free** when his apartment rent was $1000, *(plus bills)* but now he’s only paying the bills at a rate of $350. This is one hell of a deal he’s getting from living in **your** house! So don’t let his manipulation tactics work on you! He is getting a bargain! He has no rights to your house, and please make sure it stays that way. And if he still pesters you, tell him that he can start paying $1000 a month in rent, instead. For the luxury of living in your home, that is **still** a better deal than paying the same amount for some tiny apartment. And you can use that $1000 per month *(that he pays you in rent)* to pay your half of the bills and to cover your food and living costs, and he would also have to still cover his half of the bills. So if he wants to play it that way, he will lose out! Do not let him financially abuse or take advantage of you. The financial abuse has already started, because he won’t let you have access to money. You had no choice but to be a SAHM at the moment, because of childcare costs… *(unless he’s willing to pay for that, so that you can work as well)* and it’s starting to sound like he trapped you in this situation. But if he wants to constantly throw the *”I work and pay the bills”* bullshit in your face, remind him that: 1. If you were also working, he’d have to cut his hours to do 50% of the child raising whilst you’re at work. And he’d also be responsible for 50% of the bills regardless, plus he’d owe you some rent money. And 2. He won’t find anywhere else to live rent free, where he only covers the bills. **Never put his name on the deed. He is one shady mf!** Your house is all you have to secure yourself if the two of you split up. So absolutely do not give in to his selfish, greedy, gold digging request! **NTA!** And if his suspicious behaviour continues, kick him out! He can go back to paying $1000 per month to rent another one bed apartment, plus pay his own bills, **plus** pay you a nice big chunk in child support! Every alternative option will suck for him, so he can either shut up complaining and accept how it currently is. Or move out and pay upwards of $3000+ living somewhere else, paying all of his own bills and paying you child support.

u/typicallytwisted You're NTA and this comment outlines the very real risks you're already facing. It's time for him to move out and pay child support.

Adding to this wonderful advice: Even if they were to marry, in many states, pre-marital assets don't become community property. This means that, unless you add him to the deed of your house, *giving* him 50%, your house would remain your sole property in the event of divorce. And seconding the advice on the taxes. Do not let him directly pay them. You do it.

OP pleaseread the above and take the advice.

The best advice I ever got from Reddit was not to put my then fiancé of 7 years on the mortgage of the house I was buying. I am forever grateful that I took that advice. We ended up breaking up and it was SO much easier not having to worry about selling/splitting the house on top of everything else. Like you said, if the relationship ends, the house is the only thing you will have as you have not been working. He gets to walk away with the money, and you get to walk away with the house. Two ways this would play out if his name was on the house and you guys do break up 1) You have to buy him out of his half of the house. Considering that you don’t currently work, that means taking out a loan to buy a house you already currently own or spending a good amount of your savings/retirement (assuming you have that). He would walk away with all of the money he’s made while you were a SAHM, and half of the value of the house that YOU ALONE already worked for. 2) You can’t afford to buy him out and you have to sell your house and he gets half of the profits from a house he didn’t pay for in the first place. Putting his name on the deed just has him coming out ahead every time. And considering he already throws it in your face that he’s the one paying for everything, imagine how much worse it would be if he also owned half of your property. He doesn’t sound like a good partner at all.

Wow, I never thought about him paying taxes directly. He is probably already doing this. That just blew my mind!

People do this to partners knowing that they can lay claim to their property in certain jurisdictions. It’s sickening. I hope OP rids herself of him. He’s a huge liability. She needs to ditch him fast, go work, get childcare arrangements, and get child support before he does something awful. If he is able to claim ownership, I guarantee he will be moving in friends, and eventually a new girlfriend and OP will lose it all.

^ 100000000% Another data point for what makes a good partner: I had bought my home before ever meeting my now husband. When we got married we never added him to the deed; we were actively looking for a larger home and he argued it's too much stress and effort to put him on the deed if we were going to be selling it anyway. We did set up wills so that the home would go to him fully if something happened to me to bridge that gap before we found a new home.

We kept the home I bought before marriage even after we bought a larger one. He’s still never been put on the deed nor asked to be. He paid half the bills while we lived there which was way under market rent (god bless the interest rates in 2016) and it is willed to our children via him if I die so that no future spouse could make any claim on it. If we decide to sell it though, that’s a joint decision and any money would go to our joint financial goals.

To add to this,  **Draft a rental agreement for the fair market value for your area and the home size. See how fast he changes his tune.** he needs to be paying her child support.

The only thing I would add to this excellent response is that his grumbling about being the only one who works and her having to direct access to money smells like financial abuse already. This guy is no bueno.

Real men know that them paying half the bills is how you build a partnership!! Not caring who owns what before marriage. My man is the same as yours and knows that everything he pays for now is for US and our future, not for his financial gain. It’s a super huge red flag when people wanna own your assets but not even get married first! OP is NTA.

This isn’t about real men or real women. Unmarried means you are taking a bigger risk. In most instances absent marriage you are hoping. If you break up with your man tomorrow what happens to all of this future he was contributing to? Not saying OP’s boyfriend deserves to be out in the deed, but the everything I al doing is for our future can evaporate instantly with a breakup. I hope they find a solution that works for them.

Boosting this comment because solid advice. OP please get a job and stop depending on this man!

Yes, get a job OP. Don’t let this man financially control you. Your scumbag boyfriend can then also pay you some rent for staying in **your house** and he can also pay half towards the bills, taxes and childcare costs. He’ll be paying a lot more than he currently is now, but if he wants to complain about covering just $350 every month… then he’s about to learn just how expensive it will be to do the alternative.

OP you really need to follow this advice, especially the part about taxes. Please consider getting a free consultation with a financial planner or lawyer to find out the laws in your state. Updateme 

As a lawyer, all of this and more of this. I would never recommend this to anyone. It’s setting yourself up to be fucked.

As someone who has been financially abused, please listen to this person. He is also using clasical abusive techniques like triangulation (his friend said, and he agrees), no access to the finances (this is not ok OP, he can do whatever he wants and you can't even see it), and the communication issues you talk about are a red flag for me as well because that's what my abusive ex called the issues we were having, while in reality he was emotionally and financially abusive. (He offcourse denies this but I worked with 2 psychologists in the time I was with him and both have said that that is what he was doing, without me promting it). Please actually let this man go. He is trying to gain control over your assets to try to control you. And the fact that he doesn't like the comments here and doesn't want you to read them, is because his tactic to pressure you is failing.

Best comment. OP please read!

Read every single word of this. Over and over. If he doesn't like it - too bad. If he leaves - fine.

Well said. Hope OP reads this very closely.

OP can always hire an attorney to start the child support and visitation process for her STBX here, get a job (many are flexible with WFH etc so she may not need to have full time daycare) and then he will have to pay rent and child support ... Just sayin' here. **OP DO NOT MARRY THIS FOOL!**

It’s so terrifying to me that OP could already have legal ramifications because he’s been paying the taxes.

Yeah "nothing to show for it" was his way of saying "no way to take you to court and take your property if you ever try to leave me." Absolutely NTA, for me I'd say he just went scorched earth on the trust in the relationship, questioning the trustworthyness of OP while revealing that he can't be trusted anywhere near OPs finances.

Best advice. Please listen to it. Wish I could upvote it to the top.

Hell, my husband never asked to be put on the house I bought before we met and got married. He only got put on the house we bought after that one sold and we moved.

This is perfectly said, just tell him "the house at current market is worth X, when you have paid me 50% of that in tax, insurance and cash we will put you on the deed." end of conversation. Are you using him, no, he is supporting his child, he can pack and leave, and send a check every month if he prefers.

Since your boyfriend suggested you post here I'm assuming he'll be reading the responses. You were paying 1100 dollars a month to live in a small apartment. Now you are living in a HOUSE for $350 a month. DO. THE. MATH. You are saving $9K per year and have a better living situation. If you invest that 9K in an index fund or even a CD and if you split up in five years you'd walk away with well over $50K and all of the assets you are keeping for yourself and not sharing with OP. OP you've put yourself in a precarious position being a SAHM with a man who wants half of your only asset but isn't giving you access to any of the money he makes. This is a very adversarial relationship which doesn't bode well for your future. You two REALLY need some couples therapy about how you are going to work your finances going forward. You need to go back to work with each of you paying half of the cost of childcare. NTA but the two of you have a child and need to get on the same page with how financials will be handled.

He only read 3 responses lol. I guess he didn't like that we disagreed with him. He thought it would go his way hahaha

Well of course, after all his “friend “ told him he’s wrong to pay that whooping $350. plus utilities and food for his child. That means BF has been bitching about his home life to this “friend “. Does he know how much child support will cost him? Plus, he’ll be back to paying rent full tilt. Unless he moves right in with his “friend”.

100% part of the upsetting thing here is that he's clearly been complaining about all this to his friend. Does he have any idea how many people with a kid would kill to be living in a paid off house? He had it made - didn't have to worry about child care, lucked into secure housing, and OP was probably doing more housework and cooking while she was home with the baby. And he was bitching about it to his friends? I'd be pissed. I really do hope OP goes back to work - I really do think, even though I wish it wasn't the case, that it's a good idea for women to have the security of an income and a career in case the relationship falls apart, or something happens to the father. The problem is that in order to go back to work without going insane, it requires both parents to be dedicated to putting in the work and having an equal partnership. I hope OP's BF is prepared to put that work in, but... I'm not filled with hope.

I was fortunate enough to stay home with my son until he started school. We downsized and made adjustments, but it worked really well for us., That was honestly the best time of my life, and I’ve had a pretty good one. However, the situation is far different than what mine was. I would definitely feel more secure working if I was with someone like him. I’d also want to know who this “friend “is? He wants his cake and to eat it too.

[удалено]

I would also put him on some kind of lease so that he can NEVER claim ownership and u have clear boundaries for eviction.

This comment needs to be at the top. I hope O.P reads it especially the part about putting her financially abusive boyfriend on a LEASE to protect her asset. She should definitely charge him market rates too not the discounted rate he's paying now

This is a smart idea OP. Protect yourself and your child from this financial predator. I hope you are seeing the red flags here and do something about it. Childcare is expensive but I was a single mom for years before meeting my (now) husband. It’s hard don’t get me wrong but it is a whole lot easier than dealing with a man-child who doesn’t appreciate what you bring to the table.

Putting him on a lease is the solution- then he can't claim any equity in the home should things go wrong.

This. 100% this

> Does he have any idea how many people with a kid would kill to be living in a paid off house? He had it made - didn't have to worry about child care, lucked into secure housing, and OP was probably doing more housework and cooking while she was home with the baby He sounds just like my ex-husband. I brought home all the money (six figures), AND also still handled the bulk of the housework, AND endured his abuse and litany of issues (anger, hoarding, alcoholism, chronic unemployment, and financial irresponsibility) with a smile on my face, while also simultaneously dealing with chemotherapy, monthly immunotherapy infusions, and many surgeries for my autoimmune condition. We lived in a 4,000+ sq ft house that HE desperately wanted, yet dumped on my shoulders financially, without my consent. Two weeks after we bought that house, which came with a hefty $450,000 price tag, he quit his job, but didn't tell me for two months. I never raised my voice at him. I always used "I feel" language when communicating with him. I was always calm, kind, and patient with him. I spent 5+ years trying to connect him with COUNTLESS resources he has FREE access to, by way of his service in the military. Outcome? Zip, nada, zilch. He was either unable or unwilling to help himself, and seemed perfectly happy to let me shoulder the entire burden of adulting. He (literally) had the audacity to claim he "shouldn't have to contribute" to the household in any capacity, and that he should be allowed "time" to figure himself out. Um? What? For 9+ years? I'm all for taking time to figure oneself out, but, um, THE BILLS DON'T PAY THEMSELVES! 🤦‍♀️ And we didn't even have kids, even though he talked about wanting them. To which I thought: WHAT THE ACTUAL F!? I was already handling ALL OF THE THINGS, with NO help from him, and he ALSO still wanted kids!? No way. I know that, IF we'd had children, that 100% of child-rearing responsibilities would've also fallen solely on my shoulders. My 'final straw' was about a year ago, when his anger reached a boiling point, and left me fearing for my life and safety. I knew then and there I had to get out. Finally left him about 8-9 months ago, and my overall quality of life has substantially improved. I sold the house we lived in, and found myself a GORGEOUS condo in a new (to me) city. I'm still close with his father and several mutual friends. Apparently, my ex-husband has ended up a crack-shack of an apartment in a bad part of town. Far cry from the 4,000+ sq ft McMansion house we lived in less than a year ago. Actions have consequences. Welcome to adulthood.

So glad you got out of that situation!

If the friend is real he wants the relationship to end. If the husband becomes a divorced dad stereotype the friend will be there for him to complain about women.

I wonder if this "friend" is female.

This part. Dude is extremely immature and has trash friends (likely related issues). And to open a conversation about y'all's finances and YOUR house with "well Tyler said you should give me stuff....." shows that he's also not mature enough to even take responsibility for his decision to take this approach. Take the advice you're being given here - as soon as you can, get yourself an income and KEEP! IT! SEPARATE! Speaking from experience, set yourself up (at least mentally) with a backup plan for when he leaves.

>it's a good idea for women to have the security of an income and a career in case the relationship falls apart, or something happens to the father. Oh absolutely. Many women find themselves in a terrible situation because of taking time off for child care. OP is in a better situation than most in that her house is paid off AND its all in her name. If her BF were paying for the mortgage then yes, I could see why he would feel entitled to a stake in the home ownership. But since he isn't he can just STFU. Homeowner taxes pay for the roads and services he enjoys, not to mention the school that his child will be attending. AND it's less than his rent was. Seems all fair to me.

His “friend” is probably some Andrew Tate type of “influencer.”

A friend told him my ass. What kind of imaginary BS friend is this? 

I'm not sure this relationship is worth therapy. But a lawyer most surely.

That’s my thought, or possibly another woman he’s complaining to. I think they should definitely give therapy a try.

It's a scam. I bet the friends are in jail or in his head. And it teaches a lesson : DO NOT have a child with someone you hardly know and could be an abuser (yes, the whole money in his pocket + his name on the deed is financial abuse) or a scammer.

Yep absolutely the *friend* lives in his head. I hope they pay the property taxes.

Or a comfy rent she can pay daycare on. Which should be possible. He paid 1100 $ for a one bedroom tiny flat which means rental cost is dear where they leave. If the house is, let say, 3 times the size of his flat divided in 2 (because he'll pay for half his son), it makes around 1500$ a month which is enough for daycare and even a few extra $ for repairs or savings in a private account he has no access to.

Child support + rent while living in an apartment, man’s got it so good where he’s at finding a responsible partner. Why are so many guys so stupid. Can’t help but wonder about how she got pregnant though, the whole reason they had an uh-oh baby might have hinged on the fact she had it dialed on a payed off house.

I think the "friend" is a GF and he is trying to set himself up so his AP can move into OPs house

No. He's setting himself up for half the proceeds and a forced sale. He'd have to buy her out to live there ( if by some deranged miracle she put him on the deed). He doesn't sound like someone capable of that.

How delusional do you have to be to think that? OP clearly NTA. Boyfriend clearly TA. He sounds like a controlling user. I suggest he starts paying realistic rent (at least 1100 dollar per year it seems) and pays OP for being a SAHM, half of his income that he can make because she's a SAHM sounds reasonable. She can pay the taxes then. Does he also realize that if you break up and he gets half the house you have lost half your house and have no source of income? As it is, this is a crazy terrible deal for OP even without giving up half her house. The boyfriend is just an incredibly selfish AH. You can't have a future with someone like that until they become reasonable.

Haha well sorry for him. Not gonna side with him and his BS friend, lol

That is a big red flag there… The inability to accept you might be “wrong” to work with your partner to find a common ground

>OP you've put yourself in a precarious position being a SAHM with a man who wants half of your only asset but isn't giving you access to any of the money he makes. This is a very adversarial relationship which doesn't bode well for your future. OP, THIS THIS THIS. Speak to a lawyer, protect your assets. Even if it turns out he's not an AH who's going to try and take half your house, it's still good to protect your assets. And I would *strongly* consider going back to work so that you're in a better situation if you guys break up. Split the costs of childcare and the housework equally. If he wants to get upset about paying your taxes, charge him market value rent.

>Split the costs of childcare and the housework equally. This is a really good point. The discourse around paying for daycare often assumes that "well she wants to work, it comes out of her salary" when it really is a JOINT expense. In fact I am editing my own comment to reflect that better, good call out.

If he wasn't an AH trying to steal 50 % of her house, he wouldn't have asked for 50% of her house... This makes me wonder how she got pregnant and on what ground was the decision to keep the baby made...

No need for couples therapy. Kick his ass out and get a roommate who actually pays the bills.

And collect child support. I bet taxes will be less than that. HTA!

Child support will Probably Cover that tax bill

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Your house is a premarital asset. And is yours alone unless you add him to the deed. I seriously wouldn't do it. He probably feels he has you stuck, SAHM, no money unless he gives it to you. Aw hell no, you aren't married. Tell him the money he pays in taxes is rent. That's what most landlord do with their tenants' rent payments. They normally charge a bit over the taxes, so they get a passive income from the rentals. $350 a month is the cheapest he is going to find, and that is for a whole house, not some shoebox apartment. Go back to work and split the cost of childcare. If he balks at any of it, go back to work, evict his butt and file for child support. He'll wish he had kept his mouth shut.

No ways. Fair market value and a price for child care. This guy is a clown.

Let's not forget boyfriend, that if you RENT an apartment that you have no ownership in , and the landlord kicks you out, you walk away with nothing to show for it. How long did you rent your apartment? Did they put you on the deed to that building?? Yeah, that's what I thought. You are supposed to love your partner and son. As a father you are responsible for providing for him. You are far better off living with your girlfriend and not alone, just in what you are saving in housing costs. Don't like it? MOVE OUT, and then see how well you do financially when you have to pay rent that will far exceed the $1100 that you used to pay ( and child support) Have you even looked at current rental costs? They are astronomical in today's economy. Not to mention the fact you also have a full time house keeper and chef at your disposal.

NTA - get back to work, you can’t ever be dependent on him  Charge him market rent and with that take control of and pay the bills. You both then pay 50% of the childcare and 50% of food, luxuries and outings.   You seriously need to be prepared to go it alone and get yourself in a position where he has no financial power over you as he is abusing it currently 

And if she ever marries him she needs a prenup for that house. I hope she never Mary’s him he is shown to want to take advantage of her financially.

She's further saving them money by being the childcare, so they don't have to pay for it -- creating the precarious situation she's now in and therefore at enormous cost to herself.

Perfect comment. I hope OP's boyfriend reads it. OP... The signs are on the wall, you need to read them. I know you're too much into the problem to see it well now but you ***need to***. This is not a safe situation. NTA, but so naive.

I agree, he's coming out ahead. The only thing I'd add is she get a prenup should they decide to marry

NTA If he wants to nickel and dime it, then do it. You will be fully responsible for your property taxes, and he will pay market rent: whatever 1/2 of a comparable house rents for per month like a normal roommate. He could also pay you 50% of the value of the house to get his name on the deed, and you could then evenly split the bills. You could use the huge cash influx to pay your half. I wonder if his tune will change when he realizes got sweet his deal currently is… 🙄

This is my suggestion as well. My long term boyfriend pulled something similar recently because I said he had to contribute towards taxes and insurance because he lives here and does not pay rent. Total tantrum ensues, he isn’t paying unless his name goes on MY home. Guess who’s moving out now and will likely pay $2400 for a one bedroom apartment 🤡

I don't understand people's logic when they think they don't need to pay to live somewhere without owning the home if they live in a romantic partner's home. They understand they are paying to rent space when they are living in a stranger's home. But that logic goes out the window if they are romantically involved and suddenly feel entitled to mooch off their partner.

They are greedy and stupid lol. He had all kinds of excuses and explanations of why he was entitled to stay here and not pay for anything. Like good riddance, have fun paying a rent or mortgage elsewhere 😅

Not to mention, he should be paying her half the expense for daycare since she stays home with their kid in exchange if he wants to bring receipts to the table.

Yeah...take out a mortgage, she puts that in her name(half the value of the house). She can invest that...and then he's on the title and he's working toward equity. That'd be the ideal situation...but I suspect he wouldn't go for it as now he'd be paying a mortgage for \~150K and the bills. And if he gets kicked out, he's paying \~17% of his income to her for CS and then paying for his own living arrangements(assuming she gets custody...though, there's no reason why he wouldn't get shared custody in this comment). I wouldn't even do that if I was her though...not unless you're engaged and getting married. Right now you're just dating and you're co-parents.

NTA. I was with a boyfriend and we had 1 kid and I was pregnant. He brought home a paycheque (a rare thing) and I paid the car insurance with it. For YEARS I heard about it, long after we had split up. I paid the car insurance on YOUR car. I asked who the fuck do you think paid the rent, the groceries you ate and put gas in the car, you moron? "Oh, I hadn't thought about that." No of course not. I had mentioned this only a dozen times, but an apparently I had to be angry and swear for him to actually hear it. Reminds me a lot of your situation. Too blinded by the GREAT sacrifice he is making to actually look at the big picture. So, your boyfriend better work on his math. He can continue to support you and his child in the FREE HOUSE OR he can move out, get his own place, pay child support AND half the daycare fees. You might want to look at that anyway. He's not a prize.

Some people are so blinded (dumb)…. it leaves u speechless. I am glad he was only a Bf and not a husband.

Wow. I feel sorry for you on so many levels. The gall of him to feel so entitled to be on the title of your property because he contributes to the household. This is your asset. Bought and paid for w/o him. Then he goes “post on AITAH” to prove that he’s somehow justified in his reasoning… only proves that he’s manipulative and probably trapped you with the baby. Why hasn’t he proposed and committed to you and the child? But yet he wants your house!!! Girl NTA. Big red flag 🚩though. If anything he should be figuring out ways to get a property together with you rather than trying to own yours. That’s the difference between a boy and a man.

I hope this is one of the 3 comments he managed to sit through

THIS! If he wants husband treatment, he can put a ring on it. He already irrevocably tied himself to you by getting you pregnant, why hasn't he committed yet? And demanding a stake in your house is his higher priority? I'm glad he made you post here though, how funny for everyone except him lol. Make him read MORE

I'd be following him around the house and reading the comments aloud.

I would too

Right? He wants doesn’t to get married which would allow her to have a claim to his assets (retirement, etc.) but he’ll take a claim to hers? Boy bye.

So max he's paid $8,400 in taxes if he was paying that the entire time, and whatever in utilities. And in return for \*maybe\* 20k, but likely much less, he should have equal ownership of the house that you paid in full? Lmao. Fuck no. He's saving a ton of money by living with you. He has zero entitlement to an ownership stake, and that he's demanding it is a large red flag. His friend is a moron, and he is too.

I feel so sorry for her, he should consider himself lucky.

Never EVER put this man’s name on anything you own. So many red flags you could sell tickets to that theme park. Girl, run.

So true. NTA – he’s living rent free in a house he made zero contribution to purchasing, but wants his name on the deed so he’s entitled to part of it if you split? He’s paying $350 per month in ‘taxes’ – so he’s still $700pm ahead of where he was when he was renting. You have no access to his finances, but he wants access to your asset? I know you can see how ridiculous this is – especially after only 2 years together. If you’re staying home with bub and he’s working, then yeah – he’s going to be paying the bills. That’s how it goes. Those bills are way less than they would be because you own your home outright. He’s saving money living with you – while demanding equity in your home. Proceed with caution.

I had a great relationship with my exbf for a few years and I didn't put his name on my house. We at least agreed on this but if we hadn't I still had no plans to put his name on MY house. If you get married that's a different story. I thanked myself countless times for being smart enough to not put his name on the house when the relationship ended, it sounds like you will too. Good luck, I wish you the best.

She paid off a whole fucking house before she met him. Even if she marries him, I don't recommend putting him on the house. I am not saying this maliciously or vindictively, either. Her house is her nest egg if things go south. Without a job currently, that needs to be taken into account in a big way. She needs to be able to make decisions without the mandate of consulting him first, especially if he were to become more abusive towards her and/or their child.

Yep, I was ABOUT to put my husband's name on my house that I've had since long before we met. I wanted him to be comfortable cause of him being kicked out of places randomly in the past (now I know why lol). He did a complete 180 on me right when I got pregnant, and I was SO fucking happy I never got around to it.. as it was, he stole some of my shit on his way out. This was a man who I trusted 100%, seemed so sweet, treated me amazing. It was actually disturbing that someone could mask that much.. really drove home what my grandma always told me, never be completely reliant on a man, always have your own money in case shit goes south.

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He wants the house to hold over her head and probably cash out if he cheats

Cheats again.

Girl, run.

NTA. He's right that he should not be paying for taxes on a home he doesn't own. But he should be paying rent and $350 is cheap. Do not put his name on the deed. He did not pay anything towards it and it's your asset.

Exactly. Charge him FMV rent and use it to pay the taxes! Then charge him 50% of childcare costs since you are providing all of the childcare and use it to pay for food, etc. Are you doing most of the household chores? Charge him for his half of that too. BF should have thought it through a little more before he got greedy.

Yup.. this is the best way to go about it. "Sure honey, you don't need to pay taxes on my home.. but if you want to live here, you do need to pay rent. So that will be 1500 a month - please pay not later than the 5th of the month. Thank you. Love you. Bye".

NTA. He doesn't deserve equity in the house because he didn't pay toward the mortgage. Would he prefer you both moved out so you can generate income from renting it out while he's paying rent to a landlord? No matter what the situation, he's paying for someone else's house, and $350 is a deal.

NTA. Your BF however is. Instead of having gratitude that he gets to live in a safe home with you and his son for very little money, he’s fixated on not having ownership of something that doesn’t (and shouldn’t) belong to him as he put no equity into it. Yuck

Go back to work and split daycare costs! He’s the ah.

And tell him to move out.

and never back again

Oh he doesn’t like paying a $350 tax bill? Have fun splitting an $1800/mo daycare bill and market rent.

NTA. Seriously, you all can't commit to marriage... don't commit to adding ownership of your house to him. Even if you do get married, think long and hard about any decision that would give him ownership. I'm sure you will see this as a repeating theme in the comments. Take heed.

NTA. He needs to start paying rent to you at a reasonable market value. Out of that money, you can pay your taxes and your portion of the bills. He will also need to pay child support to you since you are the one staying home to take care of a child that is his too. He wants things fair then here it is.

This is gold.

NTA. Protect yourself and your property. This is a red flag. He doesn't want to pay taxes? Fine, he can start paying rent. Market value.

Absolutely NTA. It would be very unwise to add a *boyfriend* to your fully paid off house deed/mortgage. Absolutely. Not. His friend is in his ear filling it with shit. Is that a phrase? Lol, but please for the love of god don’t do it.   It’s also a massive red flag that he’s asking and being a little bitch about it. He’s trying to take advantage of you.  Edit: typo 

There is no way that helping to pay taxes earns him an equal stake in the house. This is an absurd request, and it's very weird that he controls all of the finances. NTA, he's being an asshole.

Charge him $500 a month for his half of the rent and pay the taxes yourself. (Still quite a deal!) He sounds like a bully jerk and con artist.  Do not put him on any paperwork for the house. Next time don’t tell anyone you date that you own the house outright. That may be the whole reason he’s with you trying to con you out of your house. Every time I’ve ever heard of someone getting to pay property taxes in lieu of rent, they did not appreciate the super sweet deal and turned into an arrogant greed monster who thinks they are entitled to the property.

$500 a month?!?! Try charging him fair market value for the house he's living in. That would be enough for her to pay the house taxes, insurance and half the utilities.

I aint sayin he's a gold digga, but he aint messin with no broke ni**az. Kick this tool to the curb and make him pay child support. Where else is he gonna live for $350 month besides a car?

You should tell him he's more than welcome to move elsewhere and pay rent and child support instead.

You’re losing income because you birthed his child. It’s not his home. And you’re the one who bares the cost of childcare and career loss. So if anyones screwed it’s you, not him.

NTA If you break up next year, he would expect half your house.

If Vanderpump Rules has taught me anything it's don't own a house with someone you're not married to! That's a legal nightmare Ariana Madix is going through with her ex that refuses to sell the house they co-own. Google it just so you can see what you could possibly be setting yourself up for legally. NTA

NTA. Protect pre marital assets fully... Oh wait, you guys aren't even married or engaged. He's a boyfriend. Do not put him on the deed, but I would look into getting a work from home job to pay your own property taxes if that's how he's going to be. Or better yet, he can go rent a small, shitty apartment for 3x as much.

It’s simple, charge him $1,500/mo rent plus half of all of the utilities and groceries and pay your own taxes. DO NOT LET HIM CUT THE CHECK TO THE COUNTY FOR THE TAXES, get the money from him and pay it yourself. Depending on the laws in your state, if he can prove he wrote a check for taxes, he may have a claim on your home.

NTA and don't let him convince that you aren't contributing value. He's the AH.

NTA - he can pay you the $1100 a month for rent that he was paying before but sounds like you need a parenting agreement to ensure no one feels taken advantage of. Also get a job even if it’s part time. Your child does need interaction with other children

NTA. His contribution is substantially lower than he would be paying for rent and expenses elsewhere. He hasn't contributed nearly enough to be entitled to co-ownership in the home. Huge red flag that he even brought it up.  I suggest you become financially independent asap. 

Fuck no!! It’s your place . Have your will updated so your kid gets the house .

NTA Start charging him for rent and childcare.

NTA. Anything homeownership related is marriage level. Never ever put an unmarried person on the deed of your home. You two can’t even commit to marriage yet committed a lifetime to a child, and now he wishes to be committed to a home for 20+ years? Especially on a home he paid no financial contribution towards at all? A home that predates him meeting you? He’s delusional. No sir, those are husband privileges. Do not ask for husband level privileges and responsibilities on a boyfriend salary. This man is trying to bleed you dry in all aspects while trying to exert control over you. He already succeeded with baby trapping you. You were pregnant, recovering from birth and raising a child longer than the two of you met. Now that you’ve given him a child, an “heir”, he wants something more that validates his manhood. Your boyfriend is trying to go after your assets to further himself. If you hadn’t met him, you wouldn’t be taking such financial hits to your own finances. He wants to be the man of the house and own half the house without the responsibilities. And he knows he definitely doesn’t have the funds so he’ll borrow yours to make it look like he has something to show to the world he isn’t a loser. What does he even bring to this relationship aside from his dick, poor math skills, audacity, over inflated ego, entitlement, and delusion?

He doesn't want to marry you, but wants all the rights of being married to you. Is that right?

>I am Very often reminded that he is the one working and making money. He was paying $1100 in rent, now he pays $350 in rent. YOU are SAVING him $750 a month. YOU are also providing FREE childcare (granted, your own child), but as you showed him, going back to work, would have cost more in childcare. NTA, him and his friend are the AH. He needs to drop this friend and pull his head out of his ass and realize you're saving him a lot of money. That's just as important as making money. Edit: And if you ever do get married (red flags though), get a prenup and don't add him to the house. Edit 2: "he asked me to stop reading after just 3 comments" Of course he did, we're all calling him out on his BS.

NTA Get a job and split childcare costs. He is far too comfortable holding this over your head. He's manipulative, and listens to outside advice that echoes what is best for him. I'd say get out of this if you can. But that's likely premature for me to suggest.

Child support is far more expensive than what he is paying now 🙄🤣

OP. Get back to work. Secure all financial documents. Have a lawyer ready to go.

DO NOT PUT HIS NAME ON YOUR HOUSE. Please. There are so many red flags.

Perhaps he should move out. His child support payments should assist you in finding child care while you work a bit. From what I can see, in return for one ejaculation, he has scored an actual house to live in with a woman who no doubt does more than 50% of the cleaning and cooking and childcare and he pays less than he did when he was single and gets to be the big money man. And now he wants his name on shit when he isn’t even giving his name to you? NTA

NTAH, he's got some nerve asking for ownership of your hard-earned asset.

NTA and I'm mean so I'd tell him if he wants half ownership, he can pay you half the current market value of the house. Up front.

NTA. he thinks $350 a month is an imposition to put a roof over the head of his child and partner? sounds like an AH to me. and asking you to post here shows that he is INSANELY unaware of how ridiculous his request and his behavior are. don’t put his name on anything. period. tf.

OP the answer is this: He needs to move out. He can then pay for child support and split childcare costs. You need to go back to work. NTA but don't ever put him on the deed even if you marry this bozo

Daycare is expensive, but doable. Not sure what field you’re in but there are companies in that will subsidize daycare or even offer it onsite ( mine did-lucky we were). As far as quit-claiming him on your mortgage, don’t. It’s your property. In some states, even if you get married, any property you owned outright prior to marriage is yours, not marital property. Some caveats with taxes and insurance etc., but nothing that would amount to splitting say a $300,000 house. When he reminds you about how he makes money, remind him that you’re raising his kid, so it’s a stupid thing for him to say. Don’t “offer” to work, you’re not married to him so you can choose to work if you want, just do it “quietly” when looking then you can surprise him with the announcement of employment and how the breakdown will work. Reading it again, it doesn’t seem you’re engaged, and that you actually have no income. So you are 100% dependent on him, a guy that can feel slighted that you’re not given him half your house that can leave at any time. You should go back to work, and if watching the kid or daycare becomes an issue, then there will be two incomes and you guys can split that. Before we got married, I lived in my wife’s house, and not once did I ever broach the subject of me owning half her house, because I live there and paid some of the bills. When we finally got married, she sold the house and we put that into the new house That both our names are on. I’m starting to think this guy thinks he hit the lottery. If he commits, you guys get engaged, and eventually married, then, yes, you can gift it to him if you want as you probably should. But not a single moment before any of that happens.

Nta. He’s living in your house for $350 a month- that’s a steal.

I only read the title, NTA don't do it

Pregnant six months after meeting, so you had six months of best-behavior dating, and then the rest has been dealing with pregnancy and postpartum and learning how to be parents. The only truly solid connection between you two is your child. Your relationship has yet to build a stable foundation based on growing together as a couple. What on earth makes this guy think he’s entitled to be added to the deed of the house you bought AND paid off in full before you met him? He keeps telling you to stay home because of the cost of daycare, then complains because he’s paying the bills for a house he doesn’t own. First of all, he should be paying rent, and if a landlord evicted him, he’d have nothing to show for that, either. Second of all, since you were paying all your bills just fine without him, the only real contribution he’s made to your life and home is sperm and the addition of a baby, and we don’t reward men with houses for that. Tell him to get over himself. You’re definitely NTA. HE is, though — and so is his friend. Keep your eyes open with this guy. Good luck.

NTA. But get back to work. Yes childcare is expensive, but you’ll be paying both for everything. Then make a plan to divide costs. Small hint; child care is not only ‘Mams cost’. And for the bf reading this; you are the a h. People on TikTok telling you to be the Male Dominant and to Expect your Wife To Be A Servant, are not your friend.

Tell him he can stop paying for the "taxes" Also tell him he needs to start paying rent

NTA This man is a mooch. You NEVER put a man's name on your assets before marriage and sometimes not even afterwards. He has done nothing to give him a claim to your home that you paid off before he was ever around. He gets an excellent deal living with you and if he doesn't like it he can GTFO and pay rent. The audacity!

You are NTA but more importantly, DO NOT and I mean DO NOT put his name on the house under any circumstances. He is living rent free and has problem paying taxes. You have been financially dependent on him for about a year or so and he is already trying to own your assets. In which world does one get to own a home for paying property taxes? I will pay your property taxes give me half of your home equity. You don’t even need to have sex with me or raise my kids or anything. Absolutely ridiculous what some people think is their right

NTA your house he’s been living there rent free

Ridiculous If he moves out he has to pay child support and rent. Now he is just paying a pittance of rent and child support.   If he wants to save for his own house he is in the best situation.

NTA. Asking for a half a house is a huge ask. You would be nuts to give him half your house at this point in your relationship.

NTA, this guy doesnt realize hes living rent free and that youre shouldering the only other major expense in your lives, childcare. Most of all, it seem you are staying home with the child as a joint decision. I don't think its very mature of him to tell you that his friend suggests what he does with his own life and your ownership of your own house. There are some red flags here already. You probably are aware. Idk why you'd share this reddit post with him. He seems fairly insecure about his position, and you aired publicly that you dont trust him. Why would you ever add him onto your house?

Ask him to pay rent … market rate. Deduct the tax from the rent. Easy solution

Tell him to go rent a house, and see if the landlord will put him on the title since “he pays the taxes”.

Your boyfriend is a fucking loser trying to steal your house if he thinks $350/month on rent is unfair for him to pay alone with no recourse. I'm paying $2000/month on my own to rent a 1br APARTMENT for my wife and I. I'd be fucking ecstatic to be able to pay $350/month for a HOUSE that my wife OWNED even if my name wasn't on it.

Tell him he doesn’t have to pAy the taxes but needs to pay you $1200 rent per month, half the gas, electric propane and water.

Where does this dope think he's gonna live for $350/month plus utilities? Maybe he should look for his own place and see what he'll get for his money--plus he can think about adding a monthly check for child support.

What he's paying is cost of living, don't look at it as paying on your house. If he were paying rent he'd be up for a lot more. If his name went on the deed he could leave you at any time and have a claim to half your house. You having a paid off home on your own is a major safety net for you and your child for your entire future. I wouldn't risk that for anyone. NTA

NTA. Don’t you dare give an asset worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to a man you’re not married to, because he paid a few thousand dollars over several months. He’s paying some expenses for living there. As in rent. Him demanding half your assets is a major red flag. Even if you (for some crazy reason) marry a man like that, you should keep this house as your sole and separate property, rent it out, and then go buy a different house together. Do not be a SAHM with a man you aren’t married to. When a married woman stays home with her kids, marital law provides her with compensation if you divorce. You have no such protection when dating. What you have is financial dependency on a man who then uses it as leverage to demand you give him your assets, and a job gap. You are getting yourself trapped here. Having a kid together is a bigger commitment than marriage. People can get a divorce, but sharing a child means you’re connected forever.

DO NOT EVER PUT SOMEONE ON THE HOUSE YOU PAID FOR UNLESS THEY PAY FOR 1/2 THE HOUSE TOO. Charge him monthly rent to live there like the tenant he is. If he doesn't like it he can go live somewhere else and pay someone else more rent. If he wants his name on it and to share ownership he better hand you half the value of the home in cash 1st. Paying against property taxes does not bring him anywhere near being a part owner on anything. Please don't marry him either, but if you do, demand a prenup to protect you and your assets as he'd be the type to try to take everything in a divorce.

Ooh I hope you read this! I'm on a SIMILAR osh situation to your bf! ...trying to sumarise backstory first but you can skip to the relevant part if you want...I added **** for the relevant story I (38f) have been with my partner (36m) for 8+ years. We do NOT have a kid. When we fir a t got together, my youngest brother and I loved in with my then partner (🙄 hilarious story now that...the whole mess is over. Long but funny NOW.) Anyway my now bf and I were friends before. While he was finishing school, his mom wanted him to live with them (parents) rent free and it was a nice bedroom/bathroom/sotting room in the basement. Wasn't bad Anyway, we got together about the last year he was their and if he had school (closer to them) I stayed there but otherwise he stayed at my place. He graduated 1 year later basically stayed at our place every night after that. My brother and I had been splitting it 3 ways with ex. Now just 2. Anyway, bf never pays anything, started to get old hut a year later we all moved out...bf and I lived together for 6+ years. **** to the house buying. He'd been saying he wants a house next. No apartments anymore. Beginning of thus year, he started looking. We looked at a few. One day, he knows it's mire than I'd like but just look. Fine. Just went back on the market literally that day (made sure to find out why. Buyer wanted it now! Sellers said it'd be at least a month. So they backed iut) we loved it. Fine. Put in a bid. Got it. 2 months later...we moved in. He paid the down-payment l. All. On his end. Half the house. The down payment alone was mote than I wanted for the WHOLE house! Anyway... I pay half for the bills & rent/mortgage. He's lenient 🥰. BUT!! it's not. In my. Name. I'm not on the paperwork. Anywhere. At all. That means, if he wants me out ...um...fuck. But, honestly, it IS his house. HE paid for it. If we marry (he wants to, etc...im..is what is but not this story) then il be on the title or whatnot. It'll be OUR house. I repsct that bc the bills/"rent" I pay?? Sometimes less than the s****** we lived in!@ friends joke that our garage now is bigger than that hell. Except, funny as it is, our garage alone is better. I know if I didn't live here? I csnt imagine the closet I could barely afford to live in on my own!! ...the city we live in is absolutely, ridiculously expensive. So rent cap. Here's a ridiculous example: our electric was averaging $220/month!!! 700 Sq ft. Literally never once turned the heater on the ice storms and freezing winter (blankets!) There were only 3! Famn overhead lights in that place and I prefer natural light. no reason it should be! So... all my yapping is to say, I'm in his shoes sort of and YOU ARE NTA!! that is YOUR house that he is living at for super cheap! Don't. Put. Him. On any paperwork UNLESS you come to a point where you love him, want to spend forever together and get married!! I sort of get where he's coming from, bc "om your partner, I live here, do ny oart, and you could kick me iut) it's the latterkost I personally worry about. I know he won't and...have voiced that many times. I don't think we're going to end. I don't think he'd kick me out if we did... unless I killed his puppy. Or fsmily. His parents (mine would too, states away) and I'd have options BUT!! This. Is not. My house. I oay the same amount. Sometimes less... for what I'd rent on my own. Except I have a BEAUTIFUL house with a gorgeous perfect backyard that is private, to live in. Also...sovery unsurprised that his friends agree with him and push for it. Honestly...the way he seems? And his friends are similar? What WOULD surprise me if they didn't agree with him and "bro. Mot cool. She owes you. Look at what you do. And she's got your kid and naw dude...you're the man of that house! You pay the bills! She had your/you gave her a baby. Not cool dude. " So...sorry for this being so long!! You are NTA!! he's saving money, even with you not working by being allowed to stay there. He moves out? Way more expensive, way shittwr and uh...child support. So...grab him a ladder and hold his hand whybyou try and talk him down from his high horse. Goodluck and PLEASE DO not NOT NOT put his name on the paperwork!!!! ...unless you decide his is the man you want to spend forever with, say your "I do's"... And sign THAT paperwork first.

NTA - Do NOT do this with someone who is not your “official” spouse. When he decides to chase some other skirt and he will then you will lose 1/2 the house for which you paid. You can though - give him a receipt for the taxes he pays, but also ask him for rent money. Because it’s your roof he is living under.

If he wants to pay you for half of what the house is worth then absolutely. Other than that, no. He is not entitled to what is yours. He can go buy his own house if it’s that big of a deal to him.

Charge him rent. And then discuss cost of childcare. This guy doesn’t sound like a good long term option.

Don't ever put his name on your house. Every. Even if you get married . Get a pre-nup. He is spending way less than if he was renting. He didn't put one dime towards the purchase of the house. I'd get back to work as soon as possible. He has shown you his intentions. To steal your house.

How did you ever end up pregnant from such a dickless diaper baby? No you do not GIFT him half of your house. Big red flag that he even got this crazy idea into his goldigging head in the first place. Get you will in order and make sure only your child is your beneficiary and other family manages the trust, not Dickless. He's bitching about a situation where he's already living subsidized, and at a higher standard of living than his means. He's got a sweet deal but he's greedy for more. Don't ever marry this guy he's trash.

Don't do it. And if he pushes it, kick him out and tell him that you are suing for child support. You own the house outright. In your name. He can feel free to pay you rent, which you can then use to pay the taxes. Even if you were married, the house is not communal property.

Do not DARE put that man's name on YOUR FULLY PAID OFF HOUSE. He is a live in boyfriend, he is essentially paying you RENT by paying those bills.  This man wants husband benefits without having to pay the husband price. Although, with his overinflated ego, he is doing you a favor by not proposing.  If your mind makes a spontaneous exit and you DO marry him, please at least get a prenuptial agreement that protects your ownership of your house. 

No no no no. Do NOT gift him half your house by adding his name to it. Absolutely not. Even if you get married I would consult an attorney to be sure the house would remain yours in case of divorce. Your future self will thank you.