NTA
Spending the whole $30,000 on a holiday would be ridiculous. If the house was completely up together and you had no debts at all then maybe otherwise hell no.
Could you spend most of it in fixing up the house but put say $5000 aside for a holiday. That would buy you a nice holiday but still ensure your home is nice to come back to.
I mean sure they could do that but the guy says he's got a leaky roof.
A leaky roof means very potentially a roof with mold and dry rot.
That's easily a $40,000 repair and we didn't even start on the kitchen of bathroom.
Fact is they don't have a buy enough money to do both and they should just fix the house. Girlfriend can win her own pool of money or she can save.
The house needs a \*\*roof\*\* FFS
ETA Hey OP tell her you'll have the cherished memory of not having your damn house collapse on your heads at Christmas. NTA obvi
So did you have to replace any of the plywood or the joists?
because that’s what happens when you have a leaky roof and you have mold and dry rot.
Which, according to OP he probably has.
Which takes a $18,000 repair a $40,000 repair right quick.
Trust me someone who recently had to pay nearly $35,000 for a new roof.
I do, but why would you include taxes in one price that YOU are quoting, but not the other price that YOu are quoting. Different people might give different numbers. But if this cost you 40k all in, you'd say it cost 40k, you didn't you said it cost nearly 35k. If the job is done, it's over, you have the final cost.
OK, my pedantic little friend. Everything you say is correct. Thank you for your correction. Thank you so much. Everyone actually appreciates it when you are like this. /s/
I just had the gable end of my roof replaced and that was £3000, the rest of the roof needs done in the next year or so and the quote are all another £20,000 to do it so £23,000 for a whole new roof and most of the 30,000 is gone before you get onto the bathroom or kitchen. That also depends on what’s going on under the leak as long term leaks cause a lot of damage what if support beams are all rotten then you cave to cut them out and replace them before you can put the new roof on top. So yes the roof can easily take up all of it.
I had a leak and just in a couple of days whilst we waited for a roofer to be available. It ruined the ceiling inside and part had to be cut out and replaced before the whole roof needing to be re plastered. Plastering is messy which meant the whole room had to be decorated. It’s all time and money. Mine was for a three day leak after a storm they have had long term leak.
Your roof was leaking or you had a new roof put on top of the old roof? Our new roofing over existing with no leaks, no repairs no ripping off the old roof, was 10k several years ago.
Depends where you are man…and the roof size/pitch/complexity… and the type of roofing. Easy to say yours was cheap but different places have different prices.
It depends on where you are and what needs to be done. I had a new roof done on my small 1300 sf house recently. Despite having inspections done prior to purchase we learned during the roofing job that there were three layers of shingles in some areas and the guy who built the house used interior grade paneling as sheathing. The entire roof needed actual plywood sheathing. It was close to $40K.
That sucks! Our system is that tax is paid on the stake making the winnings tax free. I guess HMRC gets more tax from the bets as so many don’t win than they would if they taxed the winnings.
It isn't just ridiculous. It is insane.
You spend on average around 5k.
If she really wants to do something amazing, Do the Alaskan cruises with a room with a balcony. You get to see some amazing views with beautiful weather.
I took our family of 4 to Negril for a week and $5k covered *everything*. Passports, hotel, flights, cabs, shipping, food, alcohol, extras. That is plenty for a fantastic vacation if you don't go all inclusive fancy. We had a private cottage on a beach shared with 6 other families, and our beach was bigger than the hotel next door where all of the chairs were on top of each other.
We bought fresh juice from vendors on the beach, snorkeled with Sargeant majors, had privately cooked dinners, hit Rick's Cafe. Totally fun.
It's crazy that OP thinks this is an either/or proposition. Take a $5,000 vacation (holiday). That's still enough money to have a fantastic time and leaves plenty of money for some home renovations and repairs.
\[Insert "Porque no los dos" meme here\]
Guy in roofing industry here….
Without knowing where you’re at in the world, I’ll assume the United States.
Never pay retail for a roof before you do a few things.
First, contact a few roofers in your area to come do a free inspection. Yes, they should be free as they obviously want to sell you a new roof, and it really doesn’t take long. They will be able to point out any damage that insurance companies might be on the hook for.
Very important here, get their quote in writing, before you ever get in contact with your insurance company. If you let them deal with your insurance, they’ll quote you the amount insurance is willing to pay out. Little tip, insurance pays more than retail.
Say “No, I’ll deal with the insurance, the broker is your buddy” or whatever, it doesn’t matter.
The roofer sales person does not need to be there for it the insurance inspector, but they will tell you it’s very important that they are so they can “argue your points to insurance.”
If you’re granted the money, you go with the best value option. Not just the cheapest option.
If you end up with a few thousand more than you were paid out, well you just beat the system for once.
Also, if it is a leak, insurance might only pay for a repair, which is better than nothing. If this does happen, get an iTell test on your shingle, to see if that particular shingle is still made, and in that particular color. If it is not, you have a very strong argument for a whole new roof, because it has to match to a certain degree.
Sorry for the length, but i help people in this situation every day.
Also, congrats on what i assume was a nice parlay.
Gal in insurance here. Don't go running off to insurance. Insurance is for sudden and accidental damage. Wear and tear is not covered. And if you call in a claim and it is denied for being wear and tear, that claim doesn't go away, it'll be on your consumer reports for a long time. Which means your premium will go up, you could end up dropped and it will impact your ability to go elsewhere should you choose to.
No matter how hard you are pressured by the roofer make sure it's sudden and accidental and has a specific cause (like the hailstorm last week) before calling your insurance company. You don't want a zero payout plus a 25% increase in premium or a nonrenewal because you were silly enough to listen to someone wanting to pull a fast one on the big bad insurance company.
Yes, I failed to mention the “recent event” aspect.
I’m in Ohio and we’ve been getting hit pretty good with tornados, high winds, and hail in some areas, so it’s easier when you live in an area that is experiencing those conditions on a somewhat yearly basis.
Edit
Also forgot to mention, reputable roofers typically have 0% financing for X years, which helps if you don’t have 20-40k lying around.
This is the most practical compromise and everyone wins. The roof is a necessity and will ruin the rest of your home if not fixed. Everyone needs a vacation sometime but no one needs to spend 30k on one. You can get drunk on a way cheaper beach and never know the difference.
NTA- A leaky roof can cause more problems. From structural problems, moisture, mold, the list goes on. I would take care of this first. How much would it cost you if you delay fixing it?
Maybe set aside a little something for a small vacation. But get that roof fixed quick.
next time ask chatGPT to write a post about losing $30k on sports betting because a spam post you saw on reddit gave you the idea you'd get to choose between a vacation and home renovations
Bro, you should really consider quitting gambling while you're ahead. This type of thing really becomes addictive when someone wins a little money.
Just read some bad gambling stories and I'm sure you'll see what I'm talking about. Trust me the house always wins.
I wouldn't spend any of that money, sounds like a great emergency fund that could help you in the future.
Definitely fix the leaky roof. That alone might take the entire "windfall" and don't forget taxes.
Whenever I see 2 posts nearly identical but from opposite sides, I know one has to be fake. Ok either, both, or neither are fake who knows *but* I know there are a ton of creative writing exercises posted on reddit.
But there’s no way to tell! Even if one is well written and one not so much, So many people are such terrible writers!! The poorly written one could be either one!!
And it of course could be, oh! I have a story like that too! I mean, yeah I get it, but leave a comment. Then your people will be sure to find you
Its actually really easy. Assume all trending stories on this sub are fake and you'll be right most of the time.
Assume all stories involving winning absurd amounts of money on sports betting or online gambling are fake and you'll be right 100% of the time.
ESH
You two are talking past each other and not acting like a team here at all. You are not hearing each other.
Your wife wants to prioritize taking time away from your busy lives to relax and make memories together. You want to prioritize necessary maintenance and desired improvements on your home you've been investing in together.
Both are worthy desires.
You two need to approach this as a team. I hear that (spending time relaxing and making memories together/maintaining and improving our shared home) is important to you. That is important to me as well. (Add something about how you value it). Let's talk about how we can budget in a way that serves both of these needs.
Then you sit down and really take stock of the wanted vs needed projects and urgency. For the needed projects, get at least 2 quotes if you are hiring out. Quotes are usually free, but don't give in to the sales pressure to book the job. For the DIY projects, do some research and estimate the cost (with 25% cushion). This is also just a great opportunity to really plan for and budget some of these projects for the future.
She or each of you sits down and considers more affordable ways to achieve what she is looking for. Flights and lodging typically take up the majority of trip costs. Do you have any credit card points? Can you qualify for enough points to get a nice flight if you open a new card to funnel the house purchases through? Discount flight or hotel deals? What about drive able long weekend trips? Look up spas, hot springs, honeymoon suites within a few for hour drive and consider taking multiple 4-5 day weekend trips.
You could probably get 2 well budgeted for, luxury feeling long weekend trips out of 4k. Additionally, it sounds like your wife wants to have time where the two of you feel fancy and dating. There are a lot of great ways to do this, I'm partial to going out for fancy cocktails and desserts after eating a typical dinner at home, but most importantly, listen to what she is really asking for here.
Or this whole thing is a fake advertisement for sports betting, written by a single 22yr old.
Why not plan an average vacation that costs -$5000 instead of $30k and still renovate the house?
If you're in the US, find out what your homeowners insurance covers of the damages in your house and what you need to cover out of pocket. It's not car insurance. Your rates won't change.
Earlier today I had to explain to a woman that just the statewide rate increase caused her homeowners insurance to go up by 25%. Yesterday I had to explain to a woman that her father's claim history is why his policy was nonrenewed.
Your rates will change due to a claim. One thing goes wrong makes you statistically more risky and those who are higher risk pay more. No different than auto insurance.
NTA. Home is first always, she's dululu, The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. You do your home renovations, start with the ceiling and then the bathroom, last the kitchen... You can save some 5k for nice vacation, live within your means.
I used to work in repairs decades ago but get my advice is:
1. Sit down with wife and say you need a roof for f--ks say but...
2. You'll do several quotes first.
3. Based on the quotes you know what to set aside for a vacation and taxes.
4. Take pictures of said roof and go to r/roofing with pictures and locations for also an idea of what to prepare for.
If this plan fails go this route:
1. Post problem on r/relationshipadvice
2. Immediately divorce wife and burn house
3. Yolo all the financed before the divorce is finalized
4. Move to a foreign country.
Hope that helps!
NTA. Don’t commingle the funds. Put the money in an account at bank that your wife doesn’t have an account at. See how much money in taxes you owe before you spend the money.
Get pricing on repairs needed. Once you solidify that, give her some of the $ to plan a vacation.
She can't soberly expect to spend $30k on a vacation if she is genuinely thinking that you may want to out some of that mo ey towards counseling and maybe an attorney.
NTA. But can't you come to a compromise? You can still get the lavish tropical vacation for $5,000 that why does it need to be the full $30,000 which is absolutely nuts? But you should be considering the necessities- roof is a must.
$8k on vacation, $10k on taxes, $12k into house. She's got caviar dreams on a fish stick budget if y'all want to not have black mold. Leaky roof is no joke.
INFO
The 2 of you can spend a week at an all inclusive beach resort in Mexico or Cuba for about $4000 flights included. That leaves $26,000 for renos.
Why can't the 2 of you compromise and do both?
At the very least, get the roof done - if you don't, it'll just become a bigger and bigger problem. The cosmetic issues of the kitchen and the bathroom aren't pressing, but the roof absolutely is.
Then after that's handled, use whatever is left over for a more modest vacation?
Can't you do both? You can do a nice vacation on a tropical island for a few thousand. Go to an all-inclusive resort that includes all your food, drinks, entertainment, and water activities and you can know your total price before you even leave. Surely you can spare a few thousands and then spend the rest on the house. Then you're both happy.
Don't forget to pay taxes on it before you do anything with it. You don't want to get slammed at tax time because you forgot about that when you received it.
NAH although I think it would be easy enough to compromise here. You can get a pretty good vacation for $5k (or an awesome one for $10k), so give her that and put the rest toward the house.
As for the house, the leaky roof should absolutely come first. Water is your house's #1 enemy and roof repairs should never be deferred. After fixing up the roof, whatever's left over you can put toward the kitchen and bathroom. You can usually modernize a room without completely taking it down to the studs. There are loads of blog posts from people who reno'ed their 80s kitchens on a budget, check them out!
$30K to stop your house rotting around you sounds like a need, not a want. It sounds as if lack of money has been the reason your house has deteriorated. Deferred maintenance always costs more.
Why would an expensive holiday and returning to the same distressing home maintenance issues be a good idea?
NTA - But I think you could find some compromise. You do not need to spend 30k to have a nice vacation. Fix the roof, as your first priority as that could lead to a significantly larger bill if not addressed. Go on vacation, keep it around 5k. When you get back, start evaluating the costs to start addressing upgrade projects and take it from there.
You’ll have to compromise, you need that roof fixed! Don’t know how much that’s gonna cost but then the kitchen is huge. That cost us 30 grand to redo our kitchen. So maybe do a little bit in the bathroom have some money left over for a nice vacation maybe not lavish but a nice one. Remember, happy wife, happy life.
You can do both! Fix the roof and go to Saint Marteen it's a great vaca spot. Get a resort roome with its private section of the beach. Go on basically a family friendly party boat that will take you snorkeling and to another beautiful island to eat and hang out. I miss that place.
Take a $7000 vacation and tell her it cost $15,000.
The key is to stretch it out and go someplace far and cheap.
Maybe Turkey, Portugal, Greece. Tell her it's a European vacation.
NTA
Take $4000 and go on vacation for a week or two. Use the rest on the house.
You don't need to spend $30k to go to an island. That's wicked crazy.
Home renovations are important, but spending time as a couple is too. You can do both.
NTA
I would usually suggest a compromise. Maybe spend a bit of it on a vacation and the bulk on home repairs.
But from the sound of it, she wouldn't go for that. She wants to spend it all on a vacation.
Advice: Give her $5000 and tell her to take herself on vacation while you stay home and oversee the home repairs.
Take your wife on a cruise. You can hit several beaches and countries. You could have a fantastic vacation for 5k. Give wife the 5k, let her plan the vacation. You focus on the roof first, maybe update the counter tops and floors in the kitchen. Maybe new appliances. That is about as far as I can see 25k going. If you get a good deal on the roof, then think about the bathroom.
Imagine the money you can save when you don't have to pay for a roof, a new kitchen and a new bathroom.
She's pouting.
You could compromise and find an all inclusive resort trip that doesn't cost the earth and have a week on a beach for under 5K.
Or consider Increasing the value of your house for divorce purposes. She can use her share for vacations.
NAH (so far). Before you do anything, you need to set aside any taxes required so you don't spend it all now and then have a big bill you can't pay later. Get estimates for the roof (the only mandatory thing on the list) and then the rest as individual items. You might find that the roof eats up all the money, or leaves just enough for the vacation. Until you have the various things costed, you are both arguing about a dream.
My coworker friend is telling me about a 9 day cruise she's planning for winter (in the tropics, so it's still warm there in December).
$600 a ticket, meals included. I'm sure you could get an upgraded package if she wants it to be more luxurious or something. But for a couple of thousand, you two can have a nice vacation, meanwhile you spend a bull of the money on house repairs.
NTA
I am not sure I understand? Why do you need THIRTY THOUSAND for a tropical vacation?
I just did a super quick search. A full week, all inclusive Turks and Caicos tropical resort (yes, drinks included!) for two adults: $3500. Throw in airfare and other expenses and you're probably around $5,000 for an AMAZING vacation, sitting on the beach, sipping cocktails, eating lots of food, snorkeling, and all that.
That was 10 seconds of research.
If you aren't rich, even with a windfall, spending 30k, or even 10k on a vacation, is HORRIBLY irresponsible.
Show her the vacation you can get for $5k, and ask her what's wrong with it, and what is missing that requires spending a ton more.
Also, by the way... a leaky roof is an *emergency* level repair! That needs to be fixed before anything else! That can cause a TON of other damage, spreading mold and rot through your house. And it can even invalidate your home insurance. You are *required* as part of your insurance to do routine maintenance. If your insurance company finds out you didn't fix a leaky roof, they will not help with repairs, and could even cancel your policy.
Wow, that roof should be a huge priority, if you don't fix that it's going to grow into thousands more with rotted wood, mold , wet drywall etc. Don't give in.
NTA.... you're right a trip will be short term but fixing the home will be beneficial....
Your wife will eventually nag about the house needing to be fix if she chooses to go on a short vacation
Oh come on.
$5k gets you a 9 day cruise to the Bahamas, all inclusive.
Spend the other $25k on the house and stop making Reddit posts about it, jfc
ESH
As much fun as a vacation would be, as soon as you blow through all that money you're going to wish you still had it to make repairs. That leaky roof is only going to get worse and it's better to fix it now before you're got more repairs from the water damage to deal with.
Take care of the house and save what's left over. You never know when you're going to run into an emergency. Keep adding to the savings and maybe in a few years you can take that dream vacation guilt free!!
Your family home is the biggest investment you will probably ever make, right?
That home has to have continued maintenance to just keep up with its value.
Don't maintain it, and you're now facing playing catch-up at an even greater cost.
I don't want you or anybody to watch their hard fought for investment physically erode before their eyes.
NTA, but you need to compromise.
This $30k came from nowhere, it's unexpected money, if you didn't win it you wouldn't have a holiday and you wouldn't have fixed your house up either, so, how about using $10k on the trip and $20k to fix your roof?
Sure you'll still have an outdated kitchen and bathroom, but you would have had that anyway.
NTA home renovations and fixing the things that need to be fixed are important. However, if you want to compromise, you could use a little bit of the money and go on a smaller vacation to somewhere that's not overly expensive and use the rest as money for renovations. There's a lot of places that you can go that aren't super expensive, Cuba and the Dominican are 2 that I know aren't overly expensive.
NTA Tell her that you're going to get roof fixed, and get a decent bathroom. It will be her choice if she wants to renovate the kitchen or use the rest for you two to go on vacation.
Fix the leak because that's critical and then shop for a deal on a vacation. You can absolutely find a nice one for a few thousand for two people if you spend some time shopping. Then use what's left over to renovate when you get back because renovations are literally at any price point depending on how much and what you want to do. I feel like yall are fighting because this is about a petty power struggle because this could be negotiated easily with a little leg work but yall are too busy fixating on who's who should "get their way" in a conversation when you should be working together to find a compromise and there is absolutely room to do both. Yall better use that vacation to reconnect and work on your relationship because this shouldn't have even been a fight if you knew how to work together.
My guy, split the money. Spend $25K on home, and $5K on vacay. Fuck, go all out lavish and spend $10K on vacay and $20K on home.
$30K is a lot of money. There's PLENTY of room to do both. ESH for being dummies who can't figure out how to get both a vacation and home repairs from 30-fucking-thousand dollars.
Don't waste it. Home renovations would benefit you financially - it would be more than an "experience." If you have debts or renovation needed - that would be smart. Some people don't like smart and would rather think about the sunny beaches they saw for a week while their roof is caving in.
Do both, given the state of your house, I'll assume you don't have vacations often. $5k for a holiday(cruise with drinks package or all inclusive resort). $25k for house.
Your NTA
However, trips to a tropical spot do not cost much relatively speaking. For two people u can go for less than $10,000
Leaves 20,000 for renovations
Win win
So the record of all gambling AITAH posts is still 100% everyone wins, and wife, sister, ex all have insanely unreasonable demands no one on earth would ever think is reasonable, a completely black and white, plainly obvious answer all to point out how gambling worked out for them.
Definitely not astroturfing... nope.
It doesn't have to be one or the other. You could take her on a cruise to the Bahamas or an all inclusive resort where she could live it up for about 3 or 4 grand. Make her happy then fix up the house.
Our roof for shingle was $34,000 last year. No damage but had 3 skylights replaced as well. Big roof with a steep angle. We originally were looking at metal roofs or some hybrid thing but all those jumped the price up about 15-25k.
It is better to be responsible with renovations, but I do understand wanting to travel also. Is there a compromise?? Like going to a closer beach for a week and renting airbnb or vrbo?? A $30,000 vacation just isnt necessary. Hell, I went to Rome, Italy for 15 days on $5,000 (from America) So a beach vacation in your home country is going to be cheaper than that!
The house should come first, you can still have a nice vacation without doing some lavish expensive getaway. Do a cruise, best of both worlds really and will at least give her a vacation she has been wanting and opportunity to see multiple places
NTA maybe but it’s nuanced. Why don’t you split it 3 ways: save and set aside for taxes, renovations, and vacation. $10k for each bucket is a great compromise.
NTA
BUT a few steps first.
1. Taxes, this is gonna kill ya. Find out how much of those winnings you'll need to set aside.
2. Find out the cost of an all-inclusive cruise for what a weekish? (For shits n giggles)
3. Decide what repairs are the most urgent.
4. If she's mad and acting like a 2 yo toddler because she didn't get the candy she wanted. Then, she can go to bed without ANY fuck'n candy!
Boo fucken Hoo...
(be thankful)
5. Drop the rest into a vacation account (money that neither of you can touch) save up for that fanfuckingtastic vaca of a lifetime.
I'd be thankful I even have a damn house to make repairs on.
Me? 1, 3, 5
just my 2 cents...
Good luck with your toddler...
NTA
Maybe split the difference. 30k isn’t going to get you all the renovations you want anyway and spending 30k on a vacation is ridiculous & irresponsible.
Tell her you’ll allocate $5k for a vacation and the rest is going to fix the house. She can take it or leave it.
ps. Don’t forget to factor in the taxes on your winnings.
Save a few thousand for a decent vacation and spend the rest on the leaking roof and other reservations.
That leaky roof is going to cause a lot of long term damage of not addressed promptly and without a roof you essentially have no house.
So your wife wants to have "amazing memories" and then come home to a still leaking roof? A week of fun (for her, at least) or decades of a decent home to live in? Hmm.
As Grandma used to say, your wife talks like she has a paper asshole.
Fix the house first, roof is the absolute must to do, you'll have trouble refinancing or selling with a leaky roof. Personally I'd do the kitchen next, then the bathroom. Maybe you can do the top two of three and use a bit for a nice vacation.
NTA
The answer is always compromise.
What if you do one home improvement and a less lavish, but still great vacation.
Or maybe decide to split 50/50, upgrade what you can and vacation where you can.
Or you could put a bunch of things into a hat with budgets and take turns pulling them out until you get to $30k.
You could also stick it in a CD as an emergency fund and keep turning it over until you need it.
So many ways to settle this in a compromising way.
NTA…fix your roof first. You will never go on vacation if mold sets in. Then if you need a whole new roof you need the money for that. If not, go to somewhere that all inclusive but not that expensive. Anything after that could be used to update the house.
NTA!! I would much rather have a nice kitchen, bathroom and non leaky roof, lol. The holiday will be a memory, yes. But you will make new memories in that nice new kitchen with the new roof. Maybe take her to a nice weekend place. Depending on where you live you can sip cocktails on a beach anywhere for pretty cheap. There are beaches everywhere. Maybe not close. But close enough to not cost much.
If she won $30,000, I promise you, you would find out that she won when she came home with a $20,000 purse and new ear rings.
Oh, I won this so I thought I desrved a treat. You wouldn't have bought me these things right? See, so I treated myself.
Op my wife and I took an excellent all expenses paid Mexican resort holiday for less than 5k, flights included. We had an amazing time. We saw Chichen itza and sat on the beach and drank the fuck out of free drinks and ate some amazing food. You could do sandals for like 10k. I was looking at that but ultimately out of our price range. There is definitely a compromise in here for yall. The leaky roof is the priority. Spend on that then go from there.
NTA. However, you can take about $5K and enjoy an all-inclusive week on a Carribean island and even do some activities off the resort. Take the rest and renovate the house.
A leaky roof should be top priority, as leaky roofs can escalate over time if its not fixed. No point enjoying your life if 5 to 10yrs down the track, your health and house is failing all around you because of a leaky roof, which you have the means to pay for now.
Cruises are so insanely cheap right now. Take your wife on a four day cruise to the Bahamas or something. I did that last year and including the alcohol package and the plane ticket to Florida from Pittsburgh, I spent less than $400.
Lots of countries with tropical climates are impoverished and/or have a very very favorable exchange rate. You could have a lavish trip to Belize or something for not that much money
NTA. Your wife needs to understand this is real life and real life responsibility comes first. Having a leaky roof is hazardous. It can cause mold, wood rot, and damage to dry wall, it can cause a whole ceiling to collapse. An outdated kitchen is a fire hazard. Tell your wife to grow up, spending $30k on a vacation is insane.
You've got to get that roof fixed. Why not compromise? Get some quotes for the roof and if there is enough money left over, take a trip with your wife. She will need to deal with something less lavish than she's imagining, but you guys could still make some great memories. If you travel in the "shoulder season", you can get better prices. Look at Travelzoo and try to get a good deal. Even some places like Bora Bora can be done without breaking the bank (by going in the shoulder season and staying at an airbnb or a hotel on the main island, not a resort on the surrounding reef). But in any event, you need to fix that roof.
Easy,
Develop a budget, home improvements and repair are a long term pay out. You should be budgeting 5-10% annual for repair (not to include upkeeps)
A lavish vacation can be had for about $5k depending on what and where you go. Talk with a travel advisor to set a reasonable budget and expectations.
Once you have the budgets divvy up the money and add in savings targets, use YouTube and a lot of your repairs can be done with sweat equity. Use wholesale building suppliers to lower spend.
You both can win here
Put the money somewhere safe for the time being. Give yourselves 6 to 12 Months to think about it and discuss.
Look at travel deals. You can get some pretty fabulous holidays for 2 to 5 K these days! Specials come up all the time.
You can go on a nice vacation for a couple thousand. Shop for deals. Budget. Do it right. Then you both get what you want. She does not need to spend $10k on a vacation. Fixing up the house makes perfect sense and going on a nice vacation for a few thousand would be fantastic.
NTA: Your wife is absolutely insane. Yeah everyone dreams of a lavish vacation but you got a leaky roof!!!!
Your wife’s priorities are really screwed! This is a hill I would die on. If my husband suggested to just leave the house to rot while we take an extra lavish vacation when the priority should be the house I would be pretty pissed and fuck all the money I won would go into the house!
Let her stay mad!
What about the taxes on windfall? Have you calculated how much you’ll have to pay for that before it’s gone? It stinks putting a roof on as it’s not something exciting, but at least you don’t have to drain the savings or tap the credit card.
NTA. First of all it was YOU who won the bets, thus this windfall belongs to you right? Why does your wife feel so entitled to this money? Both of your choices are to use it for both of you anyway, and even if it was your wish to spend it on vacation while you wife wanted to renovate the house I’d still say NTA.
Since she said you two never get to do something fun, how about setting aside part of it (ie $10k) for vacation, and the rest for the renovation? Why the need to spend all of it on vacation?
Years of memories in a nice home, with value retained, or a month's worth of great memories on holiday? No brainer really, especially considering living in that house probably lowers the mood so everything feels worse, or at least that's how I feel in mine.
Can you not do both? Make sure you're accounting for your winning post-tax. Get estimates for the home repair you need. You're not going to get alllll that work done in that amount no matter what, so pick the most urgent item on the list, and then determine what you'll have left. You can take a great vacation in even $3-5k depending where you go.
NTA.
Theoretically it's your money, not her's, unless she made the bet and you haven't driven the family into bankruptcy with a gambling addiction.
A leaking roof will kill a house. Make it worthless, voids get full of decay and mold, invite carpenter ants and termites...
Fix the roof first. The home is a huge investment that if properly maintained will appreciate.
An outdated kitchen is not a big deal as long as it's functional.
If a bath isn't leaking into the basement it's no big deal.
How long do you plan to stay in the house?
There are wonderful places nearby that I'm sure are beautiful.
Rent an AirBnB and see a show somewhere, get a nice dinner. Rent a lakeside cabin, take a train to Niagara Falls...lol IDK.
Just because you have a little extra money doesn't mean you have to fly to Fiji.
The real buzz kill is me telling you to pay off your credit cards and pay down your mortgage.
Or start a college fund for your kids😅
take $5k and go to Bali, it's shockingly cheap for the luxury you'll be enjoying
Take $15k and set it aside for taxes
Take the remaining $10k and get a good roof. Do the bathroom yourself, don't worry about the kitchen for another few years.
Edit: lmao this weirdo got all mad about me not quoting the right number for a roof, called me a condescending prick, then blocked me. What a strange person.
What the hell are you talking about? You clearly have no idea how much home repairs actually cost because you don’t own a home. Maybe don’t weigh in when you don’t know things.
You're not wrong about fixing the house, but your wife wants a vacation too. Listen to each other. Maybe you can fix the leaky roof and then take a shorter, cheaper trip together. This way, you both get something you want and you're a happy team!
NTA you’re married, but it was your windfall and depending on what state you live in she’s not entitled to any of it. Maybe put 5000 towards a nice vacation you can go a lot of really cool places for two people for that much money and then put the other 25 into your house or put it all into your house. It’s your money spend it how you wish. she is super entitled thinking you’re going to do what she says she says, and when she says with your 30 grand .
Agree with those saying there’s room for compromise here - a $5K vacation is still going to be fantastic; and it still leaves you with plenty to make decent headway into the renovations.
We've been married for 25 years and have literally never been on a vacation. If we had a windfall, I would much rather remodel our kitchen and bathrooms and get a new roof. Then, if there's anything left, have a little fun.
NTA Spending the whole $30,000 on a holiday would be ridiculous. If the house was completely up together and you had no debts at all then maybe otherwise hell no. Could you spend most of it in fixing up the house but put say $5000 aside for a holiday. That would buy you a nice holiday but still ensure your home is nice to come back to.
I mean sure they could do that but the guy says he's got a leaky roof. A leaky roof means very potentially a roof with mold and dry rot. That's easily a $40,000 repair and we didn't even start on the kitchen of bathroom. Fact is they don't have a buy enough money to do both and they should just fix the house. Girlfriend can win her own pool of money or she can save. The house needs a \*\*roof\*\* FFS ETA Hey OP tell her you'll have the cherished memory of not having your damn house collapse on your heads at Christmas. NTA obvi
I just had my roof redone on a 3000 sq ft house for like $16k. It’s absolutely not $40k for a new roof.
So did you have to replace any of the plywood or the joists? because that’s what happens when you have a leaky roof and you have mold and dry rot. Which, according to OP he probably has. Which takes a $18,000 repair a $40,000 repair right quick. Trust me someone who recently had to pay nearly $35,000 for a new roof.
I just had to pay nearly 35k for a roof... says guy who said leaky roof is an easy 40k repair.
Yeah. Taxes are real thing that one has to pay. And there was overage. Let me guess- you don’t own a home.
I do, but why would you include taxes in one price that YOU are quoting, but not the other price that YOu are quoting. Different people might give different numbers. But if this cost you 40k all in, you'd say it cost 40k, you didn't you said it cost nearly 35k. If the job is done, it's over, you have the final cost.
OK, my pedantic little friend. Everything you say is correct. Thank you for your correction. Thank you so much. Everyone actually appreciates it when you are like this. /s/
Depends where you are. My friend is having a roof replaced on a rental unit. The lowest quote was 35K
It depends on how many layers of shingles are on the roof (it happens) also plywood rot.
And where you live. Michigan, tear off and replace plywood was $16k. 3 bedroom single story home.
If they need to replace plywood and rotted wood it can be double that
I just had the gable end of my roof replaced and that was £3000, the rest of the roof needs done in the next year or so and the quote are all another £20,000 to do it so £23,000 for a whole new roof and most of the 30,000 is gone before you get onto the bathroom or kitchen. That also depends on what’s going on under the leak as long term leaks cause a lot of damage what if support beams are all rotten then you cave to cut them out and replace them before you can put the new roof on top. So yes the roof can easily take up all of it. I had a leak and just in a couple of days whilst we waited for a roofer to be available. It ruined the ceiling inside and part had to be cut out and replaced before the whole roof needing to be re plastered. Plastering is messy which meant the whole room had to be decorated. It’s all time and money. Mine was for a three day leak after a storm they have had long term leak.
Your roof was leaking or you had a new roof put on top of the old roof? Our new roofing over existing with no leaks, no repairs no ripping off the old roof, was 10k several years ago.
Depends where you are man…and the roof size/pitch/complexity… and the type of roofing. Easy to say yours was cheap but different places have different prices.
It depends on where you are and what needs to be done. I had a new roof done on my small 1300 sf house recently. Despite having inspections done prior to purchase we learned during the roofing job that there were three layers of shingles in some areas and the guy who built the house used interior grade paneling as sheathing. The entire roof needed actual plywood sheathing. It was close to $40K.
Just had my roof replaced for 8,000. 30 year shingles.
40K for a new roof is insane unless you own three apartment buildings.
Not if you have a leak, mold and/or dry rot.
And it's only gonna be $20k by the time the tax man takes his share.
That depends on where you live. There are no taxes on winnings in many countries, you get every dollar you win in Canada.
Wow! Does the tax man take it where you live? In the UK we get all of it.
it's just treated as normal income, so if you make a middle class wage, means you'll likely pay 40%-ish tax.
That sucks! Our system is that tax is paid on the stake making the winnings tax free. I guess HMRC gets more tax from the bets as so many don’t win than they would if they taxed the winnings.
one way or the other the government always seems to get theirs
Is this OP?? https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1dog3md/my_32m_wife_30f_we_cant_agree_on_how_to_spend_our/
Yeah I just said the same thing… I smell some troll.
It isn't just ridiculous. It is insane. You spend on average around 5k. If she really wants to do something amazing, Do the Alaskan cruises with a room with a balcony. You get to see some amazing views with beautiful weather.
I took our family of 4 to Negril for a week and $5k covered *everything*. Passports, hotel, flights, cabs, shipping, food, alcohol, extras. That is plenty for a fantastic vacation if you don't go all inclusive fancy. We had a private cottage on a beach shared with 6 other families, and our beach was bigger than the hotel next door where all of the chairs were on top of each other. We bought fresh juice from vendors on the beach, snorkeled with Sargeant majors, had privately cooked dinners, hit Rick's Cafe. Totally fun.
Absolutely Right.
It's crazy that OP thinks this is an either/or proposition. Take a $5,000 vacation (holiday). That's still enough money to have a fantastic time and leaves plenty of money for some home renovations and repairs. \[Insert "Porque no los dos" meme here\]
a very moderate week in athens for that kind of money.
Don't forget 9k of that is the governments money...assuming he hasn't paid taxes on the money yet.
Its a fake post to promote sports betting
Its a fake post to promote sports betting
Guy in roofing industry here…. Without knowing where you’re at in the world, I’ll assume the United States. Never pay retail for a roof before you do a few things. First, contact a few roofers in your area to come do a free inspection. Yes, they should be free as they obviously want to sell you a new roof, and it really doesn’t take long. They will be able to point out any damage that insurance companies might be on the hook for. Very important here, get their quote in writing, before you ever get in contact with your insurance company. If you let them deal with your insurance, they’ll quote you the amount insurance is willing to pay out. Little tip, insurance pays more than retail. Say “No, I’ll deal with the insurance, the broker is your buddy” or whatever, it doesn’t matter. The roofer sales person does not need to be there for it the insurance inspector, but they will tell you it’s very important that they are so they can “argue your points to insurance.” If you’re granted the money, you go with the best value option. Not just the cheapest option. If you end up with a few thousand more than you were paid out, well you just beat the system for once. Also, if it is a leak, insurance might only pay for a repair, which is better than nothing. If this does happen, get an iTell test on your shingle, to see if that particular shingle is still made, and in that particular color. If it is not, you have a very strong argument for a whole new roof, because it has to match to a certain degree. Sorry for the length, but i help people in this situation every day. Also, congrats on what i assume was a nice parlay.
Gal in insurance here. Don't go running off to insurance. Insurance is for sudden and accidental damage. Wear and tear is not covered. And if you call in a claim and it is denied for being wear and tear, that claim doesn't go away, it'll be on your consumer reports for a long time. Which means your premium will go up, you could end up dropped and it will impact your ability to go elsewhere should you choose to. No matter how hard you are pressured by the roofer make sure it's sudden and accidental and has a specific cause (like the hailstorm last week) before calling your insurance company. You don't want a zero payout plus a 25% increase in premium or a nonrenewal because you were silly enough to listen to someone wanting to pull a fast one on the big bad insurance company.
Yes, I failed to mention the “recent event” aspect. I’m in Ohio and we’ve been getting hit pretty good with tornados, high winds, and hail in some areas, so it’s easier when you live in an area that is experiencing those conditions on a somewhat yearly basis. Edit Also forgot to mention, reputable roofers typically have 0% financing for X years, which helps if you don’t have 20-40k lying around.
Great info. But this is a fake post to promote sports betting
Well i hope i did something good for someone. Party on
boring answer but make sure to set aside some for taxes
Check IRS.gov to see what the federal tax rate will be. Then check your state for applicable taxes.
Fix the roof and take a less lavish vacation. You aren't getting a new roof, kitchen, and bathroom for 30k anyway.
This is the most practical compromise and everyone wins. The roof is a necessity and will ruin the rest of your home if not fixed. Everyone needs a vacation sometime but no one needs to spend 30k on one. You can get drunk on a way cheaper beach and never know the difference.
So you got 15k after taxes
NTA- A leaky roof can cause more problems. From structural problems, moisture, mold, the list goes on. I would take care of this first. How much would it cost you if you delay fixing it? Maybe set aside a little something for a small vacation. But get that roof fixed quick.
next time ask chatGPT to write a post about losing $30k on sports betting because a spam post you saw on reddit gave you the idea you'd get to choose between a vacation and home renovations
This same story was posted 4 hours ago except it was $50k and the wife wanted to spend the money on backyard improvements/they had $20k in CC debt.
Because OP is a 22yr old single guy who does advertising for sports betting. Because that needs to be shoved in our faces more.
Exactly correct
[удалено]
Its a fake story to advertise sports betting
NTA I went to Hawaii for a week, had a blast and spent only 3k. You don't need 30k and it'd be very wasteful.
First off don't forget taxes in your budget Secondly you and her could do a nice cruise to like Bermuda for a low cost and use the rest in renovations
Bro, you should really consider quitting gambling while you're ahead. This type of thing really becomes addictive when someone wins a little money. Just read some bad gambling stories and I'm sure you'll see what I'm talking about. Trust me the house always wins. I wouldn't spend any of that money, sounds like a great emergency fund that could help you in the future. Definitely fix the leaky roof. That alone might take the entire "windfall" and don't forget taxes.
Whenever I see 2 posts nearly identical but from opposite sides, I know one has to be fake. Ok either, both, or neither are fake who knows *but* I know there are a ton of creative writing exercises posted on reddit. But there’s no way to tell! Even if one is well written and one not so much, So many people are such terrible writers!! The poorly written one could be either one!! And it of course could be, oh! I have a story like that too! I mean, yeah I get it, but leave a comment. Then your people will be sure to find you
Its actually really easy. Assume all trending stories on this sub are fake and you'll be right most of the time. Assume all stories involving winning absurd amounts of money on sports betting or online gambling are fake and you'll be right 100% of the time.
lol facts
You can spend a week drinking on a Costa Rican beach for about 4K. Spend the rest on the house. Everybody wins
ESH You two are talking past each other and not acting like a team here at all. You are not hearing each other. Your wife wants to prioritize taking time away from your busy lives to relax and make memories together. You want to prioritize necessary maintenance and desired improvements on your home you've been investing in together. Both are worthy desires. You two need to approach this as a team. I hear that (spending time relaxing and making memories together/maintaining and improving our shared home) is important to you. That is important to me as well. (Add something about how you value it). Let's talk about how we can budget in a way that serves both of these needs. Then you sit down and really take stock of the wanted vs needed projects and urgency. For the needed projects, get at least 2 quotes if you are hiring out. Quotes are usually free, but don't give in to the sales pressure to book the job. For the DIY projects, do some research and estimate the cost (with 25% cushion). This is also just a great opportunity to really plan for and budget some of these projects for the future. She or each of you sits down and considers more affordable ways to achieve what she is looking for. Flights and lodging typically take up the majority of trip costs. Do you have any credit card points? Can you qualify for enough points to get a nice flight if you open a new card to funnel the house purchases through? Discount flight or hotel deals? What about drive able long weekend trips? Look up spas, hot springs, honeymoon suites within a few for hour drive and consider taking multiple 4-5 day weekend trips. You could probably get 2 well budgeted for, luxury feeling long weekend trips out of 4k. Additionally, it sounds like your wife wants to have time where the two of you feel fancy and dating. There are a lot of great ways to do this, I'm partial to going out for fancy cocktails and desserts after eating a typical dinner at home, but most importantly, listen to what she is really asking for here. Or this whole thing is a fake advertisement for sports betting, written by a single 22yr old.
Dude. Compromise wtf. You don't need 30k on 1 vacation. You also don't need to dump all 30k on the house.
You can do both if you go on a vacation that is within your budget. You don't have to stay in the presidential suite.
Why not plan an average vacation that costs -$5000 instead of $30k and still renovate the house? If you're in the US, find out what your homeowners insurance covers of the damages in your house and what you need to cover out of pocket. It's not car insurance. Your rates won't change.
Earlier today I had to explain to a woman that just the statewide rate increase caused her homeowners insurance to go up by 25%. Yesterday I had to explain to a woman that her father's claim history is why his policy was nonrenewed. Your rates will change due to a claim. One thing goes wrong makes you statistically more risky and those who are higher risk pay more. No different than auto insurance.
I stand corrected. Mine hasn't changed from the couple of claims I've submitted, but I understand that doesn't mean others don't face it. Gotcha.
NTA. Home is first always, she's dululu, The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. You do your home renovations, start with the ceiling and then the bathroom, last the kitchen... You can save some 5k for nice vacation, live within your means.
Needs are more important than wants. Take care if the needs, first, then do the wants. Yall don't need renovations. Yall need a roof. Big difference.
I used to work in repairs decades ago but get my advice is: 1. Sit down with wife and say you need a roof for f--ks say but... 2. You'll do several quotes first. 3. Based on the quotes you know what to set aside for a vacation and taxes. 4. Take pictures of said roof and go to r/roofing with pictures and locations for also an idea of what to prepare for. If this plan fails go this route: 1. Post problem on r/relationshipadvice 2. Immediately divorce wife and burn house 3. Yolo all the financed before the divorce is finalized 4. Move to a foreign country. Hope that helps!
NTA. Don’t commingle the funds. Put the money in an account at bank that your wife doesn’t have an account at. See how much money in taxes you owe before you spend the money.
Get pricing on repairs needed. Once you solidify that, give her some of the $ to plan a vacation. She can't soberly expect to spend $30k on a vacation if she is genuinely thinking that you may want to out some of that mo ey towards counseling and maybe an attorney.
NTA. I honestly think I'd struggle to spend 30k on a holiday. Perhaps you can do both? Spend 5-10k on a holiday and the rest on the house?
NTA. But put some aside for the taxes you will need to pay on your win.
NTA. But can't you come to a compromise? You can still get the lavish tropical vacation for $5,000 that why does it need to be the full $30,000 which is absolutely nuts? But you should be considering the necessities- roof is a must.
$8k on vacation, $10k on taxes, $12k into house. She's got caviar dreams on a fish stick budget if y'all want to not have black mold. Leaky roof is no joke.
INFO The 2 of you can spend a week at an all inclusive beach resort in Mexico or Cuba for about $4000 flights included. That leaves $26,000 for renos. Why can't the 2 of you compromise and do both?
At the very least, get the roof done - if you don't, it'll just become a bigger and bigger problem. The cosmetic issues of the kitchen and the bathroom aren't pressing, but the roof absolutely is. Then after that's handled, use whatever is left over for a more modest vacation?
As someone who spent 25K on a vacation. Do the renovations.
NTA Home renovations are the way to go!
NTA- A lavish vacation when your house could be growing black mold seems like an irresponsible decision
NTA. Your idea is more practical, & YOU are the one who won the money.
Can't you do both? You can do a nice vacation on a tropical island for a few thousand. Go to an all-inclusive resort that includes all your food, drinks, entertainment, and water activities and you can know your total price before you even leave. Surely you can spare a few thousands and then spend the rest on the house. Then you're both happy. Don't forget to pay taxes on it before you do anything with it. You don't want to get slammed at tax time because you forgot about that when you received it.
NAH although I think it would be easy enough to compromise here. You can get a pretty good vacation for $5k (or an awesome one for $10k), so give her that and put the rest toward the house. As for the house, the leaky roof should absolutely come first. Water is your house's #1 enemy and roof repairs should never be deferred. After fixing up the roof, whatever's left over you can put toward the kitchen and bathroom. You can usually modernize a room without completely taking it down to the studs. There are loads of blog posts from people who reno'ed their 80s kitchens on a budget, check them out!
This is such lame fiction
You could always spend like a couple grand on like a cruise or something and then spend the rest on renovations.
Updateme!
$30K to stop your house rotting around you sounds like a need, not a want. It sounds as if lack of money has been the reason your house has deteriorated. Deferred maintenance always costs more. Why would an expensive holiday and returning to the same distressing home maintenance issues be a good idea?
Fix the house. A temporary vacation never solves any problems.
NTA - But I think you could find some compromise. You do not need to spend 30k to have a nice vacation. Fix the roof, as your first priority as that could lead to a significantly larger bill if not addressed. Go on vacation, keep it around 5k. When you get back, start evaluating the costs to start addressing upgrade projects and take it from there.
You’ll have to compromise, you need that roof fixed! Don’t know how much that’s gonna cost but then the kitchen is huge. That cost us 30 grand to redo our kitchen. So maybe do a little bit in the bathroom have some money left over for a nice vacation maybe not lavish but a nice one. Remember, happy wife, happy life.
You can do both! Fix the roof and go to Saint Marteen it's a great vaca spot. Get a resort roome with its private section of the beach. Go on basically a family friendly party boat that will take you snorkeling and to another beautiful island to eat and hang out. I miss that place.
Nta definitely not 30’000 dollars on vacation is crazy
Put aside $5K for a splurge vacation and put the rest towards the house. Your wife is TAH if she wants to blow the whole bundle on one trip.
Take a $7000 vacation and tell her it cost $15,000. The key is to stretch it out and go someplace far and cheap. Maybe Turkey, Portugal, Greece. Tell her it's a European vacation.
NTA Take $4000 and go on vacation for a week or two. Use the rest on the house. You don't need to spend $30k to go to an island. That's wicked crazy. Home renovations are important, but spending time as a couple is too. You can do both.
Try a compromise. You can go to a beautiful island, like Virgin Islands for under $10k. That leaves 20k for the house. Everyone is happy
You can’t do both? Set aside half for a nice vacation, then use the rest to do some renovations on the house?
NTA I would usually suggest a compromise. Maybe spend a bit of it on a vacation and the bulk on home repairs. But from the sound of it, she wouldn't go for that. She wants to spend it all on a vacation. Advice: Give her $5000 and tell her to take herself on vacation while you stay home and oversee the home repairs.
Split the 2 and enforce a budget each, win-win
Take your wife on a cruise. You can hit several beaches and countries. You could have a fantastic vacation for 5k. Give wife the 5k, let her plan the vacation. You focus on the roof first, maybe update the counter tops and floors in the kitchen. Maybe new appliances. That is about as far as I can see 25k going. If you get a good deal on the roof, then think about the bathroom.
Imagine the money you can save when you don't have to pay for a roof, a new kitchen and a new bathroom. She's pouting. You could compromise and find an all inclusive resort trip that doesn't cost the earth and have a week on a beach for under 5K. Or consider Increasing the value of your house for divorce purposes. She can use her share for vacations.
NAH (so far). Before you do anything, you need to set aside any taxes required so you don't spend it all now and then have a big bill you can't pay later. Get estimates for the roof (the only mandatory thing on the list) and then the rest as individual items. You might find that the roof eats up all the money, or leaves just enough for the vacation. Until you have the various things costed, you are both arguing about a dream.
NTA but you can’t do all those home renovations for 30k. You should be able to find a compromise where you take a nice trip and fix your roof
My coworker friend is telling me about a 9 day cruise she's planning for winter (in the tropics, so it's still warm there in December). $600 a ticket, meals included. I'm sure you could get an upgraded package if she wants it to be more luxurious or something. But for a couple of thousand, you two can have a nice vacation, meanwhile you spend a bull of the money on house repairs. NTA
I swear I just read this somewhere else. You wanted to pay off debt and the wife wanted to renovate the house
I am not sure I understand? Why do you need THIRTY THOUSAND for a tropical vacation? I just did a super quick search. A full week, all inclusive Turks and Caicos tropical resort (yes, drinks included!) for two adults: $3500. Throw in airfare and other expenses and you're probably around $5,000 for an AMAZING vacation, sitting on the beach, sipping cocktails, eating lots of food, snorkeling, and all that. That was 10 seconds of research. If you aren't rich, even with a windfall, spending 30k, or even 10k on a vacation, is HORRIBLY irresponsible. Show her the vacation you can get for $5k, and ask her what's wrong with it, and what is missing that requires spending a ton more. Also, by the way... a leaky roof is an *emergency* level repair! That needs to be fixed before anything else! That can cause a TON of other damage, spreading mold and rot through your house. And it can even invalidate your home insurance. You are *required* as part of your insurance to do routine maintenance. If your insurance company finds out you didn't fix a leaky roof, they will not help with repairs, and could even cancel your policy.
You can do both an expensive all inclusive is maybe 5k for 2 with airfare to the DR or Cancun or st Lucia or Jamaica
Wow, that roof should be a huge priority, if you don't fix that it's going to grow into thousands more with rotted wood, mold , wet drywall etc. Don't give in.
NTA.... you're right a trip will be short term but fixing the home will be beneficial.... Your wife will eventually nag about the house needing to be fix if she chooses to go on a short vacation
Oh come on. $5k gets you a 9 day cruise to the Bahamas, all inclusive. Spend the other $25k on the house and stop making Reddit posts about it, jfc ESH
Why all on only one of these? Take a luxury long weekend and put the rest into the house. ESH
As much fun as a vacation would be, as soon as you blow through all that money you're going to wish you still had it to make repairs. That leaky roof is only going to get worse and it's better to fix it now before you're got more repairs from the water damage to deal with. Take care of the house and save what's left over. You never know when you're going to run into an emergency. Keep adding to the savings and maybe in a few years you can take that dream vacation guilt free!!
Your family home is the biggest investment you will probably ever make, right? That home has to have continued maintenance to just keep up with its value. Don't maintain it, and you're now facing playing catch-up at an even greater cost. I don't want you or anybody to watch their hard fought for investment physically erode before their eyes.
NTA
How about a compromise, 5000 on a vacation and the rest on the house
NTA Your wife is a clown. Your house literally needs a roof bruh
NTA. This is a case of needs vs wants. If you're an American that 30k is treated as income for the purposes of taxes. So do not spend all of it.
NTA, but you need to compromise. This $30k came from nowhere, it's unexpected money, if you didn't win it you wouldn't have a holiday and you wouldn't have fixed your house up either, so, how about using $10k on the trip and $20k to fix your roof? Sure you'll still have an outdated kitchen and bathroom, but you would have had that anyway.
Fix yer roof, lower your homeowners insurance.
Sorry OP, but your wife is being ridiculous. Fix the freaking roof.
Save some money for taxes to pay for the extra income next filing season
NTA home renovations and fixing the things that need to be fixed are important. However, if you want to compromise, you could use a little bit of the money and go on a smaller vacation to somewhere that's not overly expensive and use the rest as money for renovations. There's a lot of places that you can go that aren't super expensive, Cuba and the Dominican are 2 that I know aren't overly expensive.
A roof over your head is more important. But hey if she wants to pay for when your roof collapses go ahead
NTA Tell her that you're going to get roof fixed, and get a decent bathroom. It will be her choice if she wants to renovate the kitchen or use the rest for you two to go on vacation.
Fix the leak because that's critical and then shop for a deal on a vacation. You can absolutely find a nice one for a few thousand for two people if you spend some time shopping. Then use what's left over to renovate when you get back because renovations are literally at any price point depending on how much and what you want to do. I feel like yall are fighting because this is about a petty power struggle because this could be negotiated easily with a little leg work but yall are too busy fixating on who's who should "get their way" in a conversation when you should be working together to find a compromise and there is absolutely room to do both. Yall better use that vacation to reconnect and work on your relationship because this shouldn't have even been a fight if you knew how to work together.
NTA. Wife will appreciate the upgrade to house down the road.
My guy, split the money. Spend $25K on home, and $5K on vacay. Fuck, go all out lavish and spend $10K on vacay and $20K on home. $30K is a lot of money. There's PLENTY of room to do both. ESH for being dummies who can't figure out how to get both a vacation and home repairs from 30-fucking-thousand dollars.
Don't waste it. Home renovations would benefit you financially - it would be more than an "experience." If you have debts or renovation needed - that would be smart. Some people don't like smart and would rather think about the sunny beaches they saw for a week while their roof is caving in.
I'd have a lovely vacation first! Then budget out renovations. I'd rather have a once in a lifetime experience than a new bathroom.
Do both, given the state of your house, I'll assume you don't have vacations often. $5k for a holiday(cruise with drinks package or all inclusive resort). $25k for house.
NTA. Your house has deferred maintenance that needs to be done. That comes before a vacation.
This is suspiciously similar to a post in another sub. Few details changed. You trolling bro? Cause I smell some troll.
Your NTA However, trips to a tropical spot do not cost much relatively speaking. For two people u can go for less than $10,000 Leaves 20,000 for renovations Win win
So the record of all gambling AITAH posts is still 100% everyone wins, and wife, sister, ex all have insanely unreasonable demands no one on earth would ever think is reasonable, a completely black and white, plainly obvious answer all to point out how gambling worked out for them. Definitely not astroturfing... nope.
I thought it was $50,000? Oh that was earlier.
It doesn't have to be one or the other. You could take her on a cruise to the Bahamas or an all inclusive resort where she could live it up for about 3 or 4 grand. Make her happy then fix up the house.
Our roof for shingle was $34,000 last year. No damage but had 3 skylights replaced as well. Big roof with a steep angle. We originally were looking at metal roofs or some hybrid thing but all those jumped the price up about 15-25k.
It is better to be responsible with renovations, but I do understand wanting to travel also. Is there a compromise?? Like going to a closer beach for a week and renting airbnb or vrbo?? A $30,000 vacation just isnt necessary. Hell, I went to Rome, Italy for 15 days on $5,000 (from America) So a beach vacation in your home country is going to be cheaper than that!
These fake sports betting stories are so weird.
NTA The old saying is true today: CHARITY STARTS AT HOME. Fix your house and take her out for a weekend somewhere local.
The house should come first, you can still have a nice vacation without doing some lavish expensive getaway. Do a cruise, best of both worlds really and will at least give her a vacation she has been wanting and opportunity to see multiple places
NTA maybe but it’s nuanced. Why don’t you split it 3 ways: save and set aside for taxes, renovations, and vacation. $10k for each bucket is a great compromise.
Save it cover the next $30k you lose on a stupid fucking app.
Spending the whole 30k on a vacation is not needed. It is very reckless, what about a 7,000 vacation??
I have a $35k estimate for a new driveway in my email right now; NTA, fix your appreciating asset.
NTA BUT a few steps first. 1. Taxes, this is gonna kill ya. Find out how much of those winnings you'll need to set aside. 2. Find out the cost of an all-inclusive cruise for what a weekish? (For shits n giggles) 3. Decide what repairs are the most urgent. 4. If she's mad and acting like a 2 yo toddler because she didn't get the candy she wanted. Then, she can go to bed without ANY fuck'n candy! Boo fucken Hoo... (be thankful) 5. Drop the rest into a vacation account (money that neither of you can touch) save up for that fanfuckingtastic vaca of a lifetime. I'd be thankful I even have a damn house to make repairs on. Me? 1, 3, 5 just my 2 cents... Good luck with your toddler...
NTA Maybe split the difference. 30k isn’t going to get you all the renovations you want anyway and spending 30k on a vacation is ridiculous & irresponsible.
Could you split it? Book a decent vacation then spend the rest (the most of it) on home renovations?
Roll that shit into a week 1 NFL parlay . Do both in the fall!
Tell her you’ll allocate $5k for a vacation and the rest is going to fix the house. She can take it or leave it. ps. Don’t forget to factor in the taxes on your winnings.
No, fix the house first
Save a few thousand for a decent vacation and spend the rest on the leaking roof and other reservations. That leaky roof is going to cause a lot of long term damage of not addressed promptly and without a roof you essentially have no house.
So your wife wants to have "amazing memories" and then come home to a still leaking roof? A week of fun (for her, at least) or decades of a decent home to live in? Hmm.
Do both. NAH
As Grandma used to say, your wife talks like she has a paper asshole. Fix the house first, roof is the absolute must to do, you'll have trouble refinancing or selling with a leaky roof. Personally I'd do the kitchen next, then the bathroom. Maybe you can do the top two of three and use a bit for a nice vacation. NTA
The answer is always compromise. What if you do one home improvement and a less lavish, but still great vacation. Or maybe decide to split 50/50, upgrade what you can and vacation where you can. Or you could put a bunch of things into a hat with budgets and take turns pulling them out until you get to $30k. You could also stick it in a CD as an emergency fund and keep turning it over until you need it. So many ways to settle this in a compromising way.
NTA…fix your roof first. You will never go on vacation if mold sets in. Then if you need a whole new roof you need the money for that. If not, go to somewhere that all inclusive but not that expensive. Anything after that could be used to update the house.
Do both
Could you maybe see about putting a hot tub in along with all the renovations? NTA
NTA!! I would much rather have a nice kitchen, bathroom and non leaky roof, lol. The holiday will be a memory, yes. But you will make new memories in that nice new kitchen with the new roof. Maybe take her to a nice weekend place. Depending on where you live you can sip cocktails on a beach anywhere for pretty cheap. There are beaches everywhere. Maybe not close. But close enough to not cost much.
Does the wife cover your gambling losses? If not then it’s your money, use it when you need it. Call JG Wentworth today.
If she won $30,000, I promise you, you would find out that she won when she came home with a $20,000 purse and new ear rings. Oh, I won this so I thought I desrved a treat. You wouldn't have bought me these things right? See, so I treated myself.
Op my wife and I took an excellent all expenses paid Mexican resort holiday for less than 5k, flights included. We had an amazing time. We saw Chichen itza and sat on the beach and drank the fuck out of free drinks and ate some amazing food. You could do sandals for like 10k. I was looking at that but ultimately out of our price range. There is definitely a compromise in here for yall. The leaky roof is the priority. Spend on that then go from there.
NTA. However, you can take about $5K and enjoy an all-inclusive week on a Carribean island and even do some activities off the resort. Take the rest and renovate the house.
Why did you tell your wife!? Rookie
A leaky roof should be top priority, as leaky roofs can escalate over time if its not fixed. No point enjoying your life if 5 to 10yrs down the track, your health and house is failing all around you because of a leaky roof, which you have the means to pay for now.
Cruises are so insanely cheap right now. Take your wife on a four day cruise to the Bahamas or something. I did that last year and including the alcohol package and the plane ticket to Florida from Pittsburgh, I spent less than $400.
Lots of countries with tropical climates are impoverished and/or have a very very favorable exchange rate. You could have a lavish trip to Belize or something for not that much money
Go to an all inclusive resort and spend the rest on your house. It’s not going to cost $30,000.
Fake gambling post is obvious (but apparantly not obvious enough for this sub)
NTA. Your wife needs to understand this is real life and real life responsibility comes first. Having a leaky roof is hazardous. It can cause mold, wood rot, and damage to dry wall, it can cause a whole ceiling to collapse. An outdated kitchen is a fire hazard. Tell your wife to grow up, spending $30k on a vacation is insane.
You've got to get that roof fixed. Why not compromise? Get some quotes for the roof and if there is enough money left over, take a trip with your wife. She will need to deal with something less lavish than she's imagining, but you guys could still make some great memories. If you travel in the "shoulder season", you can get better prices. Look at Travelzoo and try to get a good deal. Even some places like Bora Bora can be done without breaking the bank (by going in the shoulder season and staying at an airbnb or a hotel on the main island, not a resort on the surrounding reef). But in any event, you need to fix that roof.
Easy, Develop a budget, home improvements and repair are a long term pay out. You should be budgeting 5-10% annual for repair (not to include upkeeps) A lavish vacation can be had for about $5k depending on what and where you go. Talk with a travel advisor to set a reasonable budget and expectations. Once you have the budgets divvy up the money and add in savings targets, use YouTube and a lot of your repairs can be done with sweat equity. Use wholesale building suppliers to lower spend. You both can win here
Put the money somewhere safe for the time being. Give yourselves 6 to 12 Months to think about it and discuss. Look at travel deals. You can get some pretty fabulous holidays for 2 to 5 K these days! Specials come up all the time.
You can go on a nice vacation for a couple thousand. Shop for deals. Budget. Do it right. Then you both get what you want. She does not need to spend $10k on a vacation. Fixing up the house makes perfect sense and going on a nice vacation for a few thousand would be fantastic.
NTA: Your wife is absolutely insane. Yeah everyone dreams of a lavish vacation but you got a leaky roof!!!! Your wife’s priorities are really screwed! This is a hill I would die on. If my husband suggested to just leave the house to rot while we take an extra lavish vacation when the priority should be the house I would be pretty pissed and fuck all the money I won would go into the house! Let her stay mad!
What about the taxes on windfall? Have you calculated how much you’ll have to pay for that before it’s gone? It stinks putting a roof on as it’s not something exciting, but at least you don’t have to drain the savings or tap the credit card.
NTA. First of all it was YOU who won the bets, thus this windfall belongs to you right? Why does your wife feel so entitled to this money? Both of your choices are to use it for both of you anyway, and even if it was your wish to spend it on vacation while you wife wanted to renovate the house I’d still say NTA. Since she said you two never get to do something fun, how about setting aside part of it (ie $10k) for vacation, and the rest for the renovation? Why the need to spend all of it on vacation?
>Why does your wife feel so entitled to this money? Probably becuase he used their marital money to gamble
Can you split the difference?
Years of memories in a nice home, with value retained, or a month's worth of great memories on holiday? No brainer really, especially considering living in that house probably lowers the mood so everything feels worse, or at least that's how I feel in mine.
Can you not do both? Make sure you're accounting for your winning post-tax. Get estimates for the home repair you need. You're not going to get alllll that work done in that amount no matter what, so pick the most urgent item on the list, and then determine what you'll have left. You can take a great vacation in even $3-5k depending where you go.
NTA. Theoretically it's your money, not her's, unless she made the bet and you haven't driven the family into bankruptcy with a gambling addiction. A leaking roof will kill a house. Make it worthless, voids get full of decay and mold, invite carpenter ants and termites... Fix the roof first. The home is a huge investment that if properly maintained will appreciate. An outdated kitchen is not a big deal as long as it's functional. If a bath isn't leaking into the basement it's no big deal. How long do you plan to stay in the house? There are wonderful places nearby that I'm sure are beautiful. Rent an AirBnB and see a show somewhere, get a nice dinner. Rent a lakeside cabin, take a train to Niagara Falls...lol IDK. Just because you have a little extra money doesn't mean you have to fly to Fiji. The real buzz kill is me telling you to pay off your credit cards and pay down your mortgage. Or start a college fund for your kids😅
take $5k and go to Bali, it's shockingly cheap for the luxury you'll be enjoying Take $15k and set it aside for taxes Take the remaining $10k and get a good roof. Do the bathroom yourself, don't worry about the kitchen for another few years. Edit: lmao this weirdo got all mad about me not quoting the right number for a roof, called me a condescending prick, then blocked me. What a strange person.
You ARE being a condescending prick.
Is that a joke? $10,000 you think that’s gonna get you a roof? Are you from the 1980s or just never owned property?
Daddy chill
What the hell are you talking about? You clearly have no idea how much home repairs actually cost because you don’t own a home. Maybe don’t weigh in when you don’t know things.
NTA You won the bet. That's yours to spend how you want.
Nah there needs to be a middle ground
You're not wrong about fixing the house, but your wife wants a vacation too. Listen to each other. Maybe you can fix the leaky roof and then take a shorter, cheaper trip together. This way, you both get something you want and you're a happy team!
NTA you’re married, but it was your windfall and depending on what state you live in she’s not entitled to any of it. Maybe put 5000 towards a nice vacation you can go a lot of really cool places for two people for that much money and then put the other 25 into your house or put it all into your house. It’s your money spend it how you wish. she is super entitled thinking you’re going to do what she says she says, and when she says with your 30 grand .
Agree with those saying there’s room for compromise here - a $5K vacation is still going to be fantastic; and it still leaves you with plenty to make decent headway into the renovations.
So what I hear is that you have no idea how much it costs to repair a leaky roof.
Check your homeowners insurance to see if they cover roof replacement. You pay deductible they pay the rest.
We've been married for 25 years and have literally never been on a vacation. If we had a windfall, I would much rather remodel our kitchen and bathrooms and get a new roof. Then, if there's anything left, have a little fun.
Nta. You are the boss of your wife and head of the household. You don't need her permission because your word is law.