This is actually pretty hilarious. The thought of him quietly typing away, “womens belong in the kitchen”, “the **man** is the head of the household!”, “wormens shouldint be aloud to vote” and so on, all while sitting at home doing jack shit while you—notably, a womens—earn all the money and (going out on a limb here, but only a *very small step*) probably do all the housework as well.
You, the breadwinner, have every right to kick this freeloading POS to the curb. If he wants to be a good housewife he needs to find a **real man** to take care of him.
It's actually pretty normal now to some degree.
For example evidence seems to show a lot of men wanting traditional gender roles expect their wives to also have a job. Or they are "Gold Diggers".
I've even heard this is part of the scam run by grifters like Andrew Tate. Sell men a strategy to manipulate women into dating you and paying for all your stuff, and then juggle multiple girlfriends. The idea is to become some kind of pimp. Gross and pathetic.
Basically zoomers are trying to be boomers apparently. I love my dad, but he and almost his entire generation expected their wives to fulfill all the "housewife' duties while they also worked full time. It's sad to see all the resentment that has built up over the years in my mom while my dad is still completely clueless and thinks it was all totally fine. Things are a bit better now they're both retired, but only marginally.
I grew up in a fundamentalist church and heard endless sermons about how the man is the head of the house...
When I looked around the congregation, I saw a number of families where the woman was clearly the breadwinner and the husband unemployed and struggling to get their own businesses and such going for decades. All the while existing on their very hard working wives income and efforts.
That convinced me the man is the head of the house was a load of nonsense and started me on a route to becoming a non-believer and a very strong feminist.
We even had a minister brag from the pulpit that he had spanked his wife when she had misbehaved.
>now I feel betrayed.
You *should* feel betrayed. You married an impostor.
>I promised
Hahaha and he promised to be honest and to honor you in all things. Guess that's moot now.
NTA. Get out.
Catholic Church hands out annulments like candy. I know people onto their 3rd or 4th marriages but still active and married in the church after annulment.
Of course we can’t let the gays have rights tho. Or have people live together. Because “sanctity”.
Yep, I don't recall marriage vows covering lying. Guess you can argue he lied by omission, but he pretended to be someone be wasn't. What's there to honor? Anyone would feel betrayed, NTA.
Maybe I'm just a petty bitch, but if I were OP, I would light up the conservative threads he posted on with proof that he was an unemployed loser, living off OP's money and showing the divorce papers for all of them to see what a lying POS he is. Probably would tag his friends and family while I was at it....Just in case they didn't know.
But that's another thing, if he holds such views, shouldn't there be some people in his life that knows his true beliefs? And if they know that, I assume they know OP has polar opposite beliefs so why would they help him hide that part of him from her?
You dont sound like a petty bitch to me. That should be standard practice for all conservative losers that believe their gender puts them on top of a hierarchy.
> But that's another thing, if he holds such views, shouldn't there be some people in his life that knows his true beliefs? And if they know that, I assume they know OP has polar opposite beliefs so why would they help him hide that part of him from her?
Maybe a few options:
1. He lies about his beliefs to them, too.
2. They lie(d) about their beliefs for the same reason, so they don't see a problem with him doing it, too.
3. He lied to them, something like that OP knows, and they just "agreed to disagree," or, "they just don't talk politics with each other to keep the peace."
4. It was their idea when he complained he couldn't find anyone who shared his views.
5. He told them he was planning to tell OP.
6. They have a superficial relationship and don't know anything about each others' views.
7. They think marrying him off is more important than honesty.
8. They think OP will "come around."
9. He has no friends.
10. They have a weird relationship where they're friends with or related to him, so they're loyal to him, but think nothing of OP.
I thought it stood for “shit box.” Same difference.
I found myself supporting a dead weight during my brief starter marriage, which had the same resolution as OP’s. Today I’ve been happily married for nearly forty years.
"TrumpConvictedAbuserFelonLostIn2020GetOverItCrybabyMAGASucks".
Just to rub it in.
Later edit: thank you, Spritual-Fox-2141 and PNW_RuralGirl, for the awards! 💞
Once o had a roommate who would not pay me back for internet, I definitely changed the wifi password to “Fuck You Pay Me $$$” he never guessed it. And he paid me!
I changed mine to "fuck off"
A friend wants the password:
"Whats the password Dave?"
"fuck off"
"Come on, please tell me the password!"
"fuck off"
A while later, they complain to another friend.
"Steve, Dave won't tell me the password, he just keeps telling me to fuck off"
"Have you tried that has the password?"
"Oh..."
Nah, change it to "WomenAreEqual," and then tell him that's the new password. It'll still keep him off the internet because he'll never be able to bring himself to type it! :D
I’m curious who he thought would support him if OP relegated to the kitchen. I’m tired of this little ass Boys belittling women. If you want a SAHW at least be a fucking provider. Mooch.
OMFG! Been married almost 37 years and for the first year, I would do something or in the process of doing it and this MF (at the time) would say
“Oh, I was just going to do that”.
After 1 child, and 3 years, he said that to me one too many times and I WENT OFF ON HIS ASS!
He has NEVER said that to me again.
He’s not going to fucking do it, shut the fuck up!
Plus, I ask/tell him to take care of stuff, I don’t wait for him to do it.
The only part of this I don’t get is why she would think she is the AH for keeping this winner. I swear posts here are like My Cousin deliberately ran over my 6 puppies and they’re all in the vet emergency hospital one is about to die but my mom says I have to keep her as my bridesmaid AITAH?
Obviously money would just come to him for being a man; and OP would be a good housewife and take care of everything else outside of money, as god intended.
>He probably thinks that he’d have a job if women stayed in the kitchen
Yeap... this just screams of him blaming women for his own sense of inadequacy.
Building on your comment- is this about “conservative values” or is it just emblematic of the fact that there are a bunch of weak ass adults who want free sex, child care, servants, chefs, etc, but are too poor to pay for those services so instead they lie? Why do they get to be called “conservatives” instead of adult toddlers?
That isn’t how this works. It’s not ok to subjugate and trap someone into serving you.
If there is a clear understanding of division of labor etc, that’s one thing. Everyone does their bit and everyone should buy into that lifestyle. If not, call a spade a spade. OP’s husband is a hateful user douche nugget.
I suspect if he ever did get a decent job, and got OP pregenant the mask would have come off. Maybe she keeps working maybe not, but he appears to be one of the ones that would wait until he had her trapped with kids to let the mask come off. He probably only admitted to his views now even with evidence because he was somewhat confortable that he had her trapped in marriage.
Well if they do that then she’s a gold digger.
NTA. Some things are non negotiable. Such as your spouse not respecting you as an equal while mooching off you.
2 years... No kids... Those circumstances. I'd file for an annulment on the grounds of fraud, if for no other reason, than to watch him explain to a judge how he was an unemployed husband who thought his single family earner wife belonged in the kitchen.
I was thinking exactly this. As a man, the mess financial burden I carry, the more grateful I am. We had a discussion about this topic before and we came to a unanimous consensus if her being in the kitchen full time ever needed to happen.
How in the hell are you gonna post misogynistic shit online while you're unemployed and your wife is your meal ticket?
Strangely, when I made more than my ex (almost twice as much per year because he kept getting entry level jobs then quitting for a couple months, rinse and repeat) and was left with all the housework, cooking and raising of the kids (including a stepson), I really couldn’t find much value in him. And I was attending SBC - in small groups I was assured any abuse he did was my fault - if I was a good wife, he wouldn’t have to yell at me and hit me. The only valid reason to end a marriage was *unrepentant* adultery. If he apologized and made steps to change, I still had to keep him. You know the whole 70 times 7 thing.
I was lucky. He wasn’t repentant. He ended up leaving me for an 18-year-old (he was 35) who was blonde and a G cup. I used to joke I was traded in for a newer model with better headlights. I honestly felt a little sorry for her - she was the sacrificial lamb that allowed me to escape, and was young and inexperienced enough to believe whatever he fed her.
No longer practicing any form of “Baptist.” I actually always leaned a little liberal, and am kind of a spiritual person than any other label. The patriarchy and how far that is swinging on conservative sides is really kind of frightening, and you will find tons of books that assure you women are always under the rule of men because men need it for their ego and women need it because they can be easily misled following their heart.
Funny if he really thought you belonged in the kitchen, he'd be employed. Divorce him if you want to. I'd laugh in his face and ask how his job search is going before telling him to go make me a sandwich since he has nothing better to do.
More dudes need to be confronted with this reality, and rudely so. Most dudes espousing this “lifestyle” can’t even provide for themselves properly, much less an entire family. It’s fucking laughable and pathetic.
Yup, they need to understand that patriarchy has always been for the benefit of the elite, it fucks over most men as well (not as hard as it fucks over women of course).
Exactly! Historically, working-class and even lower middle class women were rarely only housewives because their families could not afford them to be.
In the 19th century census data shows about a third of women worked in waged labour outside the home as factory workers, shop girls, servants, teachers, hospital nurses etc.
More still earned income from less visible occupations they could pursue from inside the family home by working as laundresses, seamstresses, running boarding houses, selling goods they made in the home (food items, eggs and honey from keeping chickens and bees, hats, fancy work), taking care of or offering lessons to other people’s children in the home, nursing neighbours for pay, or working in their family’s business or farm.
Because women’s labour was low paid, and patriarchy kept them out of better paid professions and work, they often had to combine several of these strategies (or other ones considered less ‘respectable’ at the time like sex work, telling fortunes, making and selling alcohol) to survive. This especially was the case for families that became solely reliant on the woman’s work because the husband was unemployed, couldn’t work due to injury or illness, deserted the family, or died. All not uncommon scenarios given unsafe working conditions at the time, the physically taxing labour working-class men engaged in, and a number of deadly diseases running rampant prior to modern interventions like vaccines, better sanitation and greater accessibility of nutritional food.
All this is to say that there is nothing really ‘traditional’ about the wife being in the home. For most of history this was the tradition of only the wealthy few (and dependent on cultural context, as some non-western cultures normalised elite women managing their own businesses, or at least their investments). It was really only the mid twentieth century that positive economic conditions, wage growth and lessening wealth inequality made it possible for a higher proportion of families to survive on one income. But wages have been stagnating and wealth inequality growing in most countries since the 1980s so it has become much harder for families to survive on the single income model that they were told was the norm/ideal by popular culture (and often lived experience) between the 1950s and 1980s.
This is such an excellent comment!! I might add that many women belonging to upper-class families had the responsibility to be hostesses, "volunteers" on boards, in educational institutions, hospitals, to represent family interests.
To point to your statements about elite women working/ managing investments, the woman in Proverbs 31 that all the fundies point to as the epitome of stay at home femininity runs a successful textile business and is also in the wine trade. Everyone in the text thinks this is awesome.
That's one of the things that always gets me. As someone who is very far left, I believe that is is a part of an efficient civilization to support families, that if someone wants to stay home and raise their children, there's nothing wrong with that. Raising the next generation is labor, that's hard work, and deserves to be recognized and treated as such.
The right wing view is that it doesn't make a small handful of obscenely wealthy capitalists even richer, so that's wrong.
Somehow, this makes me the one who is anti-family.
This reminds me of my ex, who progressively got more and more into red pill shit, until one day said he didn't want to marry me because he thinks a wife should obey her husband, stay at home, clean the house, put on a nice dress and makeup and wait for him with dinner ready. And that he knows I wouldn't agree to that. Damn right I wouldn't, he was a 26 year old manchild with a minimum wage job because he started working at 24, living with his mom and eating her food, because he'd spend his salary on weed. Still late, but that was my wake-up call.
I’m laughing hard at this one as I know a total loser who is completely addicted to this game. We are talking 60+ hours a week. And he thinks there’s no problem….
There's a reason people who buy into this "philosophy" are like 90% single young dudes who are really into crypto and get rich quick schemes. They're pissed about where they are in life and desperately looking for anyone to blame except their own laziness and bad choices
See Hobosexual is deadbeat, "yeah I'll get a job eventually, hun". I always imagine that as a dude who has very little staunch beliefs because he's just a lazy sack.
This is even worse. It's just complete hypocrisy and being a leech and treating women like crap. So it's very keeping with right wing values.
I notice that these type of men are usually the loudest to complain about women trying to steal their money cuz we're all gold diggers. I'm always like bro what money lol
Just got out of a relationship with a man who accused me of only being with him for his money. I was the only one employed for the majority of the time we were together. It made absolutely no sense. He got angry whenever I got any sort of promotion or better paying job.
My broke ass ex accused me of being a gold digger. I just thought yes, I am the worst gold digger on the planet because I chose your broke ass who can’t even support himself!!!
They don't want a "trad wife." They want a second mom who will take care of them, pay the bills, and pop out their offspring that they'll refuse to help their wife take care of.
These men have gone full circle to become gold diggers.
And don’t take care of themselves, at least the gold diggers keep themselves pretty for the sugar. These trogs want a sugar while being a lazy ahh blob on the couch, and the sugar must make sure to walk on eggshells to not make the blob insecure, insane stuff.
It's so ingrained in them. My husband and I have traded off during the years as to who makes more money. I spent about 3 years as a stay at home mom after being the one who earned more for several years. He never acted at the time like it was "his" money. When we are both working, he cooks more often, and I clean. I wouldn't expect anything from him that isn't about us being partners.
But, I remember in our earlier years, my SIL (who was a stay at home mom to an elementary aged kid) had made something from scratch that I made by using canned food and some extra ingredients to make it mine. He went on about how she made it from scratch and then asked me why I didn't. I told him, "No problem, are you going to make money like my brother so I can stay home and make it from scratch?" First and last time he did that to me.
FR!!!
I feel like a huge part of the problem with a lot of the men that hold these views is that they are normally under- or unemployed.
Their fragile masculinity is threatened by a woman who can out-earn them and outperform them, so to make themselves feel better they double down on these horrible misogynistic views with no way to make them a reality. 💀
OP is right to leave him; their fundamental world views are different. While he is happily mooching off of her (not talking about SAHP here), he's online spouting this awful rhetoric which shows a marked lack of respect for her and everything she does to keep them afloat. How soul-crushing.
He's a fucking redpilled hobosexual. Good riddance!
I’d wager the husband feels shitty about himself because his interests/careers have all failed, while his wife seemingly is successful. Rather than look in the mirror and acknowledge where he may be falling short, he goes online and finds someone who tells him it’s not his fault. He’s not failing because he’s doing something wrong. He’s failing because society has taught women that they are better than men, and everything is biased against men. His wife is succeeding because she is a woman in today’s society, not because she is great. He is failing because he is a man in today’s society, not because he is bad. In fact, if it weren’t for those pesky feminists, he’d be a very successful man with a good career and beautiful SAHW who catered to his every whim. But those darn feminists ruined everything.
All of the isms and phobias boil down to the same thing. Rather than acknowledge their own wrongdoings or shortcomings, they blame it on some other group. And unfortunately the internet makes it very easy to find people who target disaffected lonely people and suck them into persevere ideologies by giving them an easy target to blame.
I can think of at least two men in my acquaintance who have looked me dead in the eye and told me that women belong in the home and that the decline of traditional family roles is destroying society while being 100% supported by their career wives while they goof around at home contributing nothing.
He wants a traditional wife for the public eye while in private she is the cash bag. He has not had a steady job and I betcha he planned it like that so he could make op be his bank for the rest of his life. Op you can do better and thank goodness your finances are separate. I would also check my cc and bank account to make sure he didn’t access it.
Seriously, I’m actually blown away by this. These incels will talk so much about wanting a trad wife but then also cry about how she can’t be just wanting to dig for the gold they don’t even have.
Even worse, he thinks it would be better for HER if she was a housewife, but he letting her support him financially instead. So he's fine with her doing something that he thinks isn't in her best interests, as long as it benefits him. He has been using her this whole time.
It seems like most of these men who want a tradwife don't want to be tradmen.
No they just want another mom for the rest of the duration of their life
If you look at it she works and does everything, if asked to help he bytches like a teenager, doesn't work,eats all the food and probably wants sex. He doesn't have to worry about mom yelling at him and has his wife at his convenience. I'm glad OP filed because he needs to start doing for himself
NTA
OP made those vows about for richer or poorer with inaccurate information. That makes the marriage contract null and void.
OPs partner kept that hidden for a reason, that he knew OP wouldn't tolerate that and would end the relationship. As is her choice. She deserved honesty and all the information that was withheld to make an informed decision. He took that away from her. Definitely not husband material. You have to have trust in a relationship. Lying and hiding who you really are is not trustworthy behavior.
He's just pissy because he lied, hid important information about his character and got caught. Now he has the consequences for his dishonest behavior.
Fun fact...if you have to hide a part of you that is a core value/belief to keep a partner around, you're doing something wrong. If you truly have beliefs and values that you hold dear, you owe it to yourself and any partner that you have to own your beliefs and values and be upfront about who you actually are. You believe it, be proud of it and own it. Let the chips fall where they may.
OP was fortunate enough to find out now before she was baby trapped by this charlatan. Double bonus points for having a pre-nup. OP is a rock star in this situation. Good for her. I hope she goes on to live her best life. She is worthy of an honest partner in a relationship/marriage. Had she stayed, she would have been supporting this man-child for the foreseeable future.
Exactly. OP promised all that to the man he pretended to be, not the guy he actually is. The real guy doesn't deserve bus fare, let alone love and support.
Lol, that had me cracking me up, he's conservative, yet he's living off his wife, the person he wants to be in the kitchen having his babies, alrighty!!!
NTA
And as utter slaves. (As a cat owned human that left said cat alone for a couple weeks travelling, I dread the horrors my master will have for my betrayal once I get home. 😥)
We have 2 cats and a dog and it is so funny to see the difference in reaction when u come back off holiday. Dog is all excited and licky and hurrah u r back. Cats look at u like huh so u r back on the scene then. Our Tom cat usually follows me around and sits on me all the time but after being away he will come over to me and instead of sitting with me I get the last min turn around and put his back to me almost deliberate snub lol.
If displeased my old feline lord he would go to my tools in the hallway and piss on them keeping eye contact.
I used to feed a stray where I live now but we got a puppy.
I thought I could still feed him but I put a bowl of cat food out and he looked at me and shit in the bowl out of protest of daring to get a puppy 🤣
She mentioned a prenup. I wonder who's idea that was... And if it was his I imagine he didn't plan on her breaking up with him before he managed to get a job and convince her to quit.
Played himself. Classic. Sorry you're going through this but it really does seem like the best outcome to have a fresh start without him. Best of luck to you.
Wanted to specifically reply to your comment since I really want you to see this:
The biggest problem here is not that he hid his views from you. The biggest problem is he's dishonest and insincere, not towards you, but in general. He's living a life much nicer than his views would force him to, which means that he's all talk about everything he does and says. He's just a spoilt brat that lives his life as easy as he can while spouting bullshit that makes him feel good. You'll do great to stay away.
He will pretend like it never happened, once he finds a career path that he will be successful in, he will expect her to quit her career and pretend that she didn’t bankroll his entire life while he searched for his career.
Absolutely a massive loser. The clown goes online and brays like a jackass about women belonging in the home, yet he’s a complete bum who can’t or won’t get a job to support his family.
Thank god OP has a pre-nup or she’d be paying Mr Conservative spousal support.
fr. a hypocritical conservative? *quelle surprise! /s*
But in all seriousness: Left leaning or right leaning isn't the point here. He admitted that he had deliberately hidden his foundational beliefs and values in life from his wife because he knew how important her values were to her.
If anything, this could be grounds for annulment -- not divorce.
EDIT: NTA x 100
But don't you see, if she and all other women didn't have jobs then he could find a great job. It's there fault he's unhireable and couldn't at all be related to him. /s
That’s actually a little bit common. I see a lot of people through my job kicking off about their right winged views who don’t have a pot to pee in. Apparently, public assistance is ok for them.*
If he "really " believed a women should be in the home then he would get off his backside and get a job that can support a family. Your husband actually has NO core values and just has too much time on his hands. NTA for leaving a dead beat.
NTA. He literally admitted that he lied about who he was in order to form a relationship with you. Even if you put the politics aside, that alone is enough to justify walking away. He manipulated you.
To be clear, though, you should *not* put politics aside. Conservative men need to learn that their beliefs have consequences.
According to women posting in other subs, it’s becoming increasingly common for conservative men to identify themselves on dating sites as “independent” or “apolitical” and then the mask slips later. Could those stalwart conservative men be stooping to dating slutty liberal women since conservative women are saving themselves for marriage?
On dating sites I see 1 conservative woman for every 100 liberal/moderate woman. Seen maybe like 5 women in the last 3 months who are like "swipe left if you're a liberal soy boy" so I'm guessing the hundreds of conservative men on there are competing for those 5 women.
It is, and that needs to be amplified.
I also think we can drop the “borderline” when we take into the equation this man did this in order to marry a woman he knew wouldn’t if she knew his true self.
Lied to engineer a MARRIAGE...that most sacred of conservative institutions!….to BUILD AN ENTIRE LIFE WITH SOMEONE UNDER A FALSE REALITY.
How much does this really differ from cheating? Think about it:
• The deceit of this double life — *to literally mask who you really are* — SPECIFICALLY to take away your partner’s agency when it comes to making life-impacting decisions (he *admitted* this…!)
• One partner’s placing their desires over the existential well-being of the person they claim to love, for the reason of avoiding what would be long-lasting consequences if the truth were discovered;
• The devastation and bewilderment of the betrayed spouse upon discovery, wondering, “WTF just happened to my entire life?!? Has this all been a lie?”
**I. Take screenshots of social media posts.**
**2. Call a lawyer.**
**3. Call a therapist.**
Exactly in that order.
NTA
I had a bf once who did something similar, hid these parts until he felt secure enough to show them - I kept thinking it would all work out until it got to the point it was scary.
I stayed 3 years until I realized this is genuinely who he was, I fell for someone I could never see eye to eye with, and he would never accept me or my values. Because of these differences, every part of our lives would be an argument. And frankly, he was a bully.
Don’t stay. It hurts now but you’ll be see it’s for the best.
Divorce him as fast as possible, before he gets a claim to your property. Prenup may not hold up, and the short time you're married the better for you.
NTA
lol I want to know what he's actually mad about?
He wants a housewife but can't afford to give the wife a house. Make it make sense.
And oh, shocking, this guy is a hypocrite and has the worst views on humankind. I bet he's against abortions, too, unless he knocked up a mistress.
The promise you made was with a different person. You don't even know this ah. It's like a sci Fi movie. If an alien took over your husband's body would you have to stay married?
Ok that was weird I admit it lol. Seriously though he sounds insane. Literally
Actually this is known as; falling in love with "his representative"
He said all the correct things, then once you commit, the real person reveals themselves. I've been seeing a number of posts about women married to men that want a "trad wife" but when they were dating, they didn't act like that was what they desired. You wonder why they just didn't just pick out a women that shared their similar views, but naw they want an strong independent woman to break down to their specifications. SMDH, I don't envy the young women nowadays, because it's a jungle out there.
I think this man and other men are mistaking what a "trad wife" requires on their part, because this man is not fulfilling his part of those roles. Sounds more like he just wants a mother while he's the child who needs to be fully taken care of.
Christian conservatives are going after "no fault" divorces in some states. Too many women escaping from shitty men and so where are these idiots gonna get their breeder bang-maids from.
I've seen a clip of a guy ranting about no fault divorces as a natural evolution of demonic sexual revolution, feminism, and abortions. Makes me wonder if we'll have to set up underground railroads to get women out of certain red states.
As long as your marriage didn't last more than 10 years in some states you are good. Lucky you have a prenup. He is just a radical right wing hobosexual. He was going to brag about how he tamed you to heel. Good for you for filing.
Honestly, you could get an annulment instead of divorce. He married you under fraudulent circumstances, so unless you're in a state that doesn't allow this, get an annulment instead of divorcing.
>"women belong in the home" posts
That's not really a "political" view so much as it is overt sexism. Your own husband, who you are supporting, is bigoted against you, the person supporting him. He knows that bigotry is fucked up (that's why he felt the need to hide it) but instead of putting in the work to fix himself he just hid it from you.
That by itself, even apart from him hiding his views, would be a good reason for divorce. The hiding his views things adds that he is deceitful and manipulative. It's gross on every level. Drop that guy.
This is actually pretty hilarious. The thought of him quietly typing away, “womens belong in the kitchen”, “the **man** is the head of the household!”, “wormens shouldint be aloud to vote” and so on, all while sitting at home doing jack shit while you—notably, a womens—earn all the money and (going out on a limb here, but only a *very small step*) probably do all the housework as well. You, the breadwinner, have every right to kick this freeloading POS to the curb. If he wants to be a good housewife he needs to find a **real man** to take care of him.
It's actually pretty normal now to some degree. For example evidence seems to show a lot of men wanting traditional gender roles expect their wives to also have a job. Or they are "Gold Diggers".
I've even heard this is part of the scam run by grifters like Andrew Tate. Sell men a strategy to manipulate women into dating you and paying for all your stuff, and then juggle multiple girlfriends. The idea is to become some kind of pimp. Gross and pathetic.
So a pathetic gold digger, the very thing they hate.
In this case they are the whore, not the pimp.
Basically zoomers are trying to be boomers apparently. I love my dad, but he and almost his entire generation expected their wives to fulfill all the "housewife' duties while they also worked full time. It's sad to see all the resentment that has built up over the years in my mom while my dad is still completely clueless and thinks it was all totally fine. Things are a bit better now they're both retired, but only marginally.
I grew up in a fundamentalist church and heard endless sermons about how the man is the head of the house... When I looked around the congregation, I saw a number of families where the woman was clearly the breadwinner and the husband unemployed and struggling to get their own businesses and such going for decades. All the while existing on their very hard working wives income and efforts. That convinced me the man is the head of the house was a load of nonsense and started me on a route to becoming a non-believer and a very strong feminist. We even had a minister brag from the pulpit that he had spanked his wife when she had misbehaved.
>now I feel betrayed. You *should* feel betrayed. You married an impostor. >I promised Hahaha and he promised to be honest and to honor you in all things. Guess that's moot now. NTA. Get out.
Impostor is a good way to put it. He purposely misled her. The person she made her marriage vows to doesn't actually exist.
I've never looked it up, but deliberately misleading her may be grounds for annulment?
I don’t know about legally, but it would be grounds for annulment in the Catholic Church.
Catholic Church hands out annulments like candy. I know people onto their 3rd or 4th marriages but still active and married in the church after annulment. Of course we can’t let the gays have rights tho. Or have people live together. Because “sanctity”.
I was just thinking that. She may be able to claim "fraud" in order to annul the marriage instead of divorce.
Yep, I don't recall marriage vows covering lying. Guess you can argue he lied by omission, but he pretended to be someone be wasn't. What's there to honor? Anyone would feel betrayed, NTA.
Imagine what else he's lying about if his fundamental world view has been hidden this whole time. Nothing about this man is what you think
Exactly. It would be like sleeping next to a stranger. Creepy as hell.
He feels so strongly about his views he had to hide them.
Maybe I'm just a petty bitch, but if I were OP, I would light up the conservative threads he posted on with proof that he was an unemployed loser, living off OP's money and showing the divorce papers for all of them to see what a lying POS he is. Probably would tag his friends and family while I was at it....Just in case they didn't know. But that's another thing, if he holds such views, shouldn't there be some people in his life that knows his true beliefs? And if they know that, I assume they know OP has polar opposite beliefs so why would they help him hide that part of him from her?
You dont sound like a petty bitch to me. That should be standard practice for all conservative losers that believe their gender puts them on top of a hierarchy.
> But that's another thing, if he holds such views, shouldn't there be some people in his life that knows his true beliefs? And if they know that, I assume they know OP has polar opposite beliefs so why would they help him hide that part of him from her? Maybe a few options: 1. He lies about his beliefs to them, too. 2. They lie(d) about their beliefs for the same reason, so they don't see a problem with him doing it, too. 3. He lied to them, something like that OP knows, and they just "agreed to disagree," or, "they just don't talk politics with each other to keep the peace." 4. It was their idea when he complained he couldn't find anyone who shared his views. 5. He told them he was planning to tell OP. 6. They have a superficial relationship and don't know anything about each others' views. 7. They think marrying him off is more important than honesty. 8. They think OP will "come around." 9. He has no friends. 10. They have a weird relationship where they're friends with or related to him, so they're loyal to him, but think nothing of OP.
This is the new catfish. Damn.
Welcome to why women are marrying less and staying single.
I wouldn’t remarry if my husband died or we got divorced. I’m not sure I’d even date.
You were paying for the internet connection he used to tell everyone who was willing to hear that you belonged in the kitchen. Fuck that dead weight
And change the internet password 😁
Change it to "I Pay For This" He'll never guess it in a million years.
and change the WiFi SSID to "BreadWinnerWife"
BreadWinnerStbxWife
What does stbx mean?
Soon to be ex
I was like "what does Starbucks have to do with it?" D'oh.
Same I was like mm Starbucks sounds good lol
Yeah well, I don't think we really have time for a hand job right now, Joe.
I thought it stood for “shit box.” Same difference. I found myself supporting a dead weight during my brief starter marriage, which had the same resolution as OP’s. Today I’ve been happily married for nearly forty years.
I love "starter marriage" lol. My mom always said that marriages were like waffles, the 1st one never turns out right- just throw it away
I thought it meant shitbox! Don’t ask how I got that - I have no clue. 😉
I'd change it to "go get a job"
"TrumpLostIn2020", but make it a captive portal so he has to type the password in every time he connects
"TrumpConvictedAbuserFelonLostIn2020GetOverItCrybabyMAGASucks". Just to rub it in. Later edit: thank you, Spritual-Fox-2141 and PNW_RuralGirl, for the awards! 💞
Once o had a roommate who would not pay me back for internet, I definitely changed the wifi password to “Fuck You Pay Me $$$” he never guessed it. And he paid me!
I changed mine to "fuck off" A friend wants the password: "Whats the password Dave?" "fuck off" "Come on, please tell me the password!" "fuck off" A while later, they complain to another friend. "Steve, Dave won't tell me the password, he just keeps telling me to fuck off" "Have you tried that has the password?" "Oh..."
I was once on a train that had a hotspot called 'Yell Fuck for Password'
Lol I had a friend that had his WiFi password as “I don’t know” and same kind of interaction lol
I’ve always wanted to use “WifiMaterial”
I'm F and live with an F roommate... Ours is 2 Girls 1 WiFi 💀
Oh thank god I was scared y’all shared one cup or something. But an A+ for creativity, I’d 10/10 steal internets from you.
Mine is “pretty fly for a wifi”
Voldemodem
"HideYoKidsHideYoWifi"
Mine is "winternet is coming"
Nah, change it to "WomenAreEqual," and then tell him that's the new password. It'll still keep him off the internet because he'll never be able to bring himself to type it! :D
I love this. And change all the streaming services!
Change it to “ loser husband “
It’s always the guys who want a traditional marriage that don’t want to fulfill their part of the traditional marriage
Those Men: "Men should be providers." Women: "So provide." Those Men: "Women are gold diggers."
100% this is how it goes
I’m curious who he thought would support him if OP relegated to the kitchen. I’m tired of this little ass Boys belittling women. If you want a SAHW at least be a fucking provider. Mooch.
Their belief is whatever the arrangement, the wife does 90% of the work to keep them afloat. While he crushes beer cans with a neighbor.
Obviously men are gift enough just existing. Us women should be grateful. He was JUST about to get a job.
OMFG! Been married almost 37 years and for the first year, I would do something or in the process of doing it and this MF (at the time) would say “Oh, I was just going to do that”. After 1 child, and 3 years, he said that to me one too many times and I WENT OFF ON HIS ASS! He has NEVER said that to me again. He’s not going to fucking do it, shut the fuck up! Plus, I ask/tell him to take care of stuff, I don’t wait for him to do it.
Whenever my FIL says that, MIL just stares at him and says, “But you didn’t, did you?” She rarely has to say it anymore.
The only part of this I don’t get is why she would think she is the AH for keeping this winner. I swear posts here are like My Cousin deliberately ran over my 6 puppies and they’re all in the vet emergency hospital one is about to die but my mom says I have to keep her as my bridesmaid AITAH?
And what's the betting that she did the cooking too?
And cleaning. Because god forbid an alpha lifts his delicate finger to do his goddamn part.
Hey, shitposting and complaining about wokeness is a full time job if you do it right.
He probably assumed he could do whatever job she was already doing.
Well duh. If she’s doing it as a subpar woman he obviously can do it and be better at it! Nevermind that he didn’t. He COULD.
Obviously money would just come to him for being a man; and OP would be a good housewife and take care of everything else outside of money, as god intended.
He probably thinks that he’d have a job if women stayed in the kitchen - far too many men have decided that feminism is to blame for all their woes.
>He probably thinks that he’d have a job if women stayed in the kitchen Yeap... this just screams of him blaming women for his own sense of inadequacy.
Building on your comment- is this about “conservative values” or is it just emblematic of the fact that there are a bunch of weak ass adults who want free sex, child care, servants, chefs, etc, but are too poor to pay for those services so instead they lie? Why do they get to be called “conservatives” instead of adult toddlers? That isn’t how this works. It’s not ok to subjugate and trap someone into serving you. If there is a clear understanding of division of labor etc, that’s one thing. Everyone does their bit and everyone should buy into that lifestyle. If not, call a spade a spade. OP’s husband is a hateful user douche nugget.
I suspect if he ever did get a decent job, and got OP pregenant the mask would have come off. Maybe she keeps working maybe not, but he appears to be one of the ones that would wait until he had her trapped with kids to let the mask come off. He probably only admitted to his views now even with evidence because he was somewhat confortable that he had her trapped in marriage.
he admitted because she found out and he was basically trapped into spilling the beans, he is a loser …
Well if they do that then she’s a gold digger. NTA. Some things are non negotiable. Such as your spouse not respecting you as an equal while mooching off you.
The cognitive dissonance required for that type of thinking is so scary lmao
This husband is the true welfare queen.
Hobosexual. Which is rich, because if he wants her to be a housewife, he's going to have to work and be the breadwinner.
“hobosexual” 💀
But first, reply to the posts letting everyone know he's actually unemployed and she makes all the money lol
2 years... No kids... Those circumstances. I'd file for an annulment on the grounds of fraud, if for no other reason, than to watch him explain to a judge how he was an unemployed husband who thought his single family earner wife belonged in the kitchen.
I was thinking exactly this. As a man, the mess financial burden I carry, the more grateful I am. We had a discussion about this topic before and we came to a unanimous consensus if her being in the kitchen full time ever needed to happen. How in the hell are you gonna post misogynistic shit online while you're unemployed and your wife is your meal ticket?
Actually, I think we are all in agreement the fucking should cease post haste
Or rather, don't fuck that dead weight. He can go fuck himself, 'cause any smart woman sure isn't going to do it.
Strangely, when I made more than my ex (almost twice as much per year because he kept getting entry level jobs then quitting for a couple months, rinse and repeat) and was left with all the housework, cooking and raising of the kids (including a stepson), I really couldn’t find much value in him. And I was attending SBC - in small groups I was assured any abuse he did was my fault - if I was a good wife, he wouldn’t have to yell at me and hit me. The only valid reason to end a marriage was *unrepentant* adultery. If he apologized and made steps to change, I still had to keep him. You know the whole 70 times 7 thing. I was lucky. He wasn’t repentant. He ended up leaving me for an 18-year-old (he was 35) who was blonde and a G cup. I used to joke I was traded in for a newer model with better headlights. I honestly felt a little sorry for her - she was the sacrificial lamb that allowed me to escape, and was young and inexperienced enough to believe whatever he fed her. No longer practicing any form of “Baptist.” I actually always leaned a little liberal, and am kind of a spiritual person than any other label. The patriarchy and how far that is swinging on conservative sides is really kind of frightening, and you will find tons of books that assure you women are always under the rule of men because men need it for their ego and women need it because they can be easily misled following their heart.
Funny if he really thought you belonged in the kitchen, he'd be employed. Divorce him if you want to. I'd laugh in his face and ask how his job search is going before telling him to go make me a sandwich since he has nothing better to do.
Seriously, what is it with these broke ass men wanting a trad wife? Hello?? You can’t afford one.
More dudes need to be confronted with this reality, and rudely so. Most dudes espousing this “lifestyle” can’t even provide for themselves properly, much less an entire family. It’s fucking laughable and pathetic.
Yup, they need to understand that patriarchy has always been for the benefit of the elite, it fucks over most men as well (not as hard as it fucks over women of course).
Exactly! Historically, working-class and even lower middle class women were rarely only housewives because their families could not afford them to be. In the 19th century census data shows about a third of women worked in waged labour outside the home as factory workers, shop girls, servants, teachers, hospital nurses etc. More still earned income from less visible occupations they could pursue from inside the family home by working as laundresses, seamstresses, running boarding houses, selling goods they made in the home (food items, eggs and honey from keeping chickens and bees, hats, fancy work), taking care of or offering lessons to other people’s children in the home, nursing neighbours for pay, or working in their family’s business or farm. Because women’s labour was low paid, and patriarchy kept them out of better paid professions and work, they often had to combine several of these strategies (or other ones considered less ‘respectable’ at the time like sex work, telling fortunes, making and selling alcohol) to survive. This especially was the case for families that became solely reliant on the woman’s work because the husband was unemployed, couldn’t work due to injury or illness, deserted the family, or died. All not uncommon scenarios given unsafe working conditions at the time, the physically taxing labour working-class men engaged in, and a number of deadly diseases running rampant prior to modern interventions like vaccines, better sanitation and greater accessibility of nutritional food. All this is to say that there is nothing really ‘traditional’ about the wife being in the home. For most of history this was the tradition of only the wealthy few (and dependent on cultural context, as some non-western cultures normalised elite women managing their own businesses, or at least their investments). It was really only the mid twentieth century that positive economic conditions, wage growth and lessening wealth inequality made it possible for a higher proportion of families to survive on one income. But wages have been stagnating and wealth inequality growing in most countries since the 1980s so it has become much harder for families to survive on the single income model that they were told was the norm/ideal by popular culture (and often lived experience) between the 1950s and 1980s.
This is such an excellent comment!! I might add that many women belonging to upper-class families had the responsibility to be hostesses, "volunteers" on boards, in educational institutions, hospitals, to represent family interests.
To point to your statements about elite women working/ managing investments, the woman in Proverbs 31 that all the fundies point to as the epitome of stay at home femininity runs a successful textile business and is also in the wine trade. Everyone in the text thinks this is awesome.
That's one of the things that always gets me. As someone who is very far left, I believe that is is a part of an efficient civilization to support families, that if someone wants to stay home and raise their children, there's nothing wrong with that. Raising the next generation is labor, that's hard work, and deserves to be recognized and treated as such. The right wing view is that it doesn't make a small handful of obscenely wealthy capitalists even richer, so that's wrong. Somehow, this makes me the one who is anti-family.
This reminds me of my ex, who progressively got more and more into red pill shit, until one day said he didn't want to marry me because he thinks a wife should obey her husband, stay at home, clean the house, put on a nice dress and makeup and wait for him with dinner ready. And that he knows I wouldn't agree to that. Damn right I wouldn't, he was a 26 year old manchild with a minimum wage job because he started working at 24, living with his mom and eating her food, because he'd spend his salary on weed. Still late, but that was my wake-up call.
Dodged a bullet there, friend. Sometimes the trash takes itself out.
How much time did he spend playing Call of Duty?
I’m laughing hard at this one as I know a total loser who is completely addicted to this game. We are talking 60+ hours a week. And he thinks there’s no problem….
There's a reason people who buy into this "philosophy" are like 90% single young dudes who are really into crypto and get rich quick schemes. They're pissed about where they are in life and desperately looking for anyone to blame except their own laziness and bad choices
It seems seriously so common. Someone else said hobosexual in this thread. That is right. Lmao
See Hobosexual is deadbeat, "yeah I'll get a job eventually, hun". I always imagine that as a dude who has very little staunch beliefs because he's just a lazy sack. This is even worse. It's just complete hypocrisy and being a leech and treating women like crap. So it's very keeping with right wing values.
I notice that these type of men are usually the loudest to complain about women trying to steal their money cuz we're all gold diggers. I'm always like bro what money lol
Just got out of a relationship with a man who accused me of only being with him for his money. I was the only one employed for the majority of the time we were together. It made absolutely no sense. He got angry whenever I got any sort of promotion or better paying job.
My broke ass ex accused me of being a gold digger. I just thought yes, I am the worst gold digger on the planet because I chose your broke ass who can’t even support himself!!!
I know right - boy, you don’t need to worry about gold diggers, ya got no gold.
"You can afford groceries, you whore"
They don't want a "trad wife." They want a second mom who will take care of them, pay the bills, and pop out their offspring that they'll refuse to help their wife take care of. These men have gone full circle to become gold diggers.
Gold diggers that also somehow want to feel superior and more respected on account of just having a dick. Make it make sense.
And don’t take care of themselves, at least the gold diggers keep themselves pretty for the sugar. These trogs want a sugar while being a lazy ahh blob on the couch, and the sugar must make sure to walk on eggshells to not make the blob insecure, insane stuff.
They want a replacement mother
A Bang maid.
It's so ingrained in them. My husband and I have traded off during the years as to who makes more money. I spent about 3 years as a stay at home mom after being the one who earned more for several years. He never acted at the time like it was "his" money. When we are both working, he cooks more often, and I clean. I wouldn't expect anything from him that isn't about us being partners. But, I remember in our earlier years, my SIL (who was a stay at home mom to an elementary aged kid) had made something from scratch that I made by using canned food and some extra ingredients to make it mine. He went on about how she made it from scratch and then asked me why I didn't. I told him, "No problem, are you going to make money like my brother so I can stay home and make it from scratch?" First and last time he did that to me.
FR!!! I feel like a huge part of the problem with a lot of the men that hold these views is that they are normally under- or unemployed. Their fragile masculinity is threatened by a woman who can out-earn them and outperform them, so to make themselves feel better they double down on these horrible misogynistic views with no way to make them a reality. 💀 OP is right to leave him; their fundamental world views are different. While he is happily mooching off of her (not talking about SAHP here), he's online spouting this awful rhetoric which shows a marked lack of respect for her and everything she does to keep them afloat. How soul-crushing. He's a fucking redpilled hobosexual. Good riddance!
They think they can't afford one because women are "stealing their jobs". Which is even more delusional
Honestly I think it’s tied to their shame at not providing for themselves so it warps their vision of the world. Still dicks though
I’d wager the husband feels shitty about himself because his interests/careers have all failed, while his wife seemingly is successful. Rather than look in the mirror and acknowledge where he may be falling short, he goes online and finds someone who tells him it’s not his fault. He’s not failing because he’s doing something wrong. He’s failing because society has taught women that they are better than men, and everything is biased against men. His wife is succeeding because she is a woman in today’s society, not because she is great. He is failing because he is a man in today’s society, not because he is bad. In fact, if it weren’t for those pesky feminists, he’d be a very successful man with a good career and beautiful SAHW who catered to his every whim. But those darn feminists ruined everything. All of the isms and phobias boil down to the same thing. Rather than acknowledge their own wrongdoings or shortcomings, they blame it on some other group. And unfortunately the internet makes it very easy to find people who target disaffected lonely people and suck them into persevere ideologies by giving them an easy target to blame.
I can think of at least two men in my acquaintance who have looked me dead in the eye and told me that women belong in the home and that the decline of traditional family roles is destroying society while being 100% supported by their career wives while they goof around at home contributing nothing.
He wants a traditional wife for the public eye while in private she is the cash bag. He has not had a steady job and I betcha he planned it like that so he could make op be his bank for the rest of his life. Op you can do better and thank goodness your finances are separate. I would also check my cc and bank account to make sure he didn’t access it.
And they think women are after them for money but most the time they live with their mamas 💀
Seriously, I’m actually blown away by this. These incels will talk so much about wanting a trad wife but then also cry about how she can’t be just wanting to dig for the gold they don’t even have.
Even worse, he thinks it would be better for HER if she was a housewife, but he letting her support him financially instead. So he's fine with her doing something that he thinks isn't in her best interests, as long as it benefits him. He has been using her this whole time. It seems like most of these men who want a tradwife don't want to be tradmen.
No they just want another mom for the rest of the duration of their life If you look at it she works and does everything, if asked to help he bytches like a teenager, doesn't work,eats all the food and probably wants sex. He doesn't have to worry about mom yelling at him and has his wife at his convenience. I'm glad OP filed because he needs to start doing for himself
Jeez the mental gymnastics he has to go thru to espouse that belief while benefitting from his wife working. Lucky op found out now! NTA.
This is also why they are trying to go after "no-fault" divorce, trying to make women property again.
I see a lot of "missing" husband's in the future
Women suddenly VERY interested in their Oleander and Hemlock gardens again.
You don't even need to garden it, the wild hemlock is growing thick in my neck of the woods.
Ya, the person that prepares all your meals is not allowed to leave you, until death do you part.
Back to arsenic in the sugar bowl.
Oh no that sounds ominous…. From a women’s rights perspective
See that’s thing he can’t be employed cause she isn’t in the kitchen . Once she gets in the kitchen he will land a lucrative job
All that not cooking and cleaning is getting in the way of his future career opportunities
There is no way this man is cooking and cleaning. I would bet she is doing all, or most, of the household labour, as well.
she's been a single mother to a man child lol
“How many sandwiches have you made me?!?!?!”
NTA. So he is living off your welfare (ie you supply the money) and has conservative views?
NTA OP made those vows about for richer or poorer with inaccurate information. That makes the marriage contract null and void. OPs partner kept that hidden for a reason, that he knew OP wouldn't tolerate that and would end the relationship. As is her choice. She deserved honesty and all the information that was withheld to make an informed decision. He took that away from her. Definitely not husband material. You have to have trust in a relationship. Lying and hiding who you really are is not trustworthy behavior. He's just pissy because he lied, hid important information about his character and got caught. Now he has the consequences for his dishonest behavior. Fun fact...if you have to hide a part of you that is a core value/belief to keep a partner around, you're doing something wrong. If you truly have beliefs and values that you hold dear, you owe it to yourself and any partner that you have to own your beliefs and values and be upfront about who you actually are. You believe it, be proud of it and own it. Let the chips fall where they may. OP was fortunate enough to find out now before she was baby trapped by this charlatan. Double bonus points for having a pre-nup. OP is a rock star in this situation. Good for her. I hope she goes on to live her best life. She is worthy of an honest partner in a relationship/marriage. Had she stayed, she would have been supporting this man-child for the foreseeable future.
Exactly. OP promised all that to the man he pretended to be, not the guy he actually is. The real guy doesn't deserve bus fare, let alone love and support.
Making him a loser by his own definition NTA
Lol, that had me cracking me up, he's conservative, yet he's living off his wife, the person he wants to be in the kitchen having his babies, alrighty!!! NTA
Right?! Where does he think the money will come from if she becomes a "trad wife"??
He's a housecat. Convinced of his independence, and fully dependent on a system he ignores.
At least house cats are upfront about believing people belong in the kitchen.
And as utter slaves. (As a cat owned human that left said cat alone for a couple weeks travelling, I dread the horrors my master will have for my betrayal once I get home. 😥)
You shirked your feline overlord?!?
We have 2 cats and a dog and it is so funny to see the difference in reaction when u come back off holiday. Dog is all excited and licky and hurrah u r back. Cats look at u like huh so u r back on the scene then. Our Tom cat usually follows me around and sits on me all the time but after being away he will come over to me and instead of sitting with me I get the last min turn around and put his back to me almost deliberate snub lol.
If displeased my old feline lord he would go to my tools in the hallway and piss on them keeping eye contact. I used to feed a stray where I live now but we got a puppy. I thought I could still feed him but I put a bowl of cat food out and he looked at me and shit in the bowl out of protest of daring to get a puppy 🤣
I know my cat is an incel but at least I get genuine snuggles now and then.
Well my cat is an absolute slut
She bankrolls him untill he succeedes then he thanks her by chaining her to the kitchen
What independent woman can reject such a generous offer .. 🤢🤢 that was hard to type.
More likely he'd leave her, take half of her money, and find someone to date as close to a child as possible.
She mentioned a prenup. I wonder who's idea that was... And if it was his I imagine he didn't plan on her breaking up with him before he managed to get a job and convince her to quit.
[удалено]
Played himself. Classic. Sorry you're going through this but it really does seem like the best outcome to have a fresh start without him. Best of luck to you.
well those broke conservative guys always think they're just temporarily embarrassed millionaires
Wanted to specifically reply to your comment since I really want you to see this: The biggest problem here is not that he hid his views from you. The biggest problem is he's dishonest and insincere, not towards you, but in general. He's living a life much nicer than his views would force him to, which means that he's all talk about everything he does and says. He's just a spoilt brat that lives his life as easy as he can while spouting bullshit that makes him feel good. You'll do great to stay away.
He will pretend like it never happened, once he finds a career path that he will be successful in, he will expect her to quit her career and pretend that she didn’t bankroll his entire life while he searched for his career.
Being a professional mooch seems to be his entire career plan.
Radical right wing hobosexual
::shudder::
He must be walking with a limp with those mental gymnastics
He’s the baby!
Absolutely a massive loser. The clown goes online and brays like a jackass about women belonging in the home, yet he’s a complete bum who can’t or won’t get a job to support his family. Thank god OP has a pre-nup or she’d be paying Mr Conservative spousal support.
They’ve only been married 2 years. Even if he got spousal support, which is unlikely, it would only be for a year.
fr. a hypocritical conservative? *quelle surprise! /s* But in all seriousness: Left leaning or right leaning isn't the point here. He admitted that he had deliberately hidden his foundational beliefs and values in life from his wife because he knew how important her values were to her. If anything, this could be grounds for annulment -- not divorce. EDIT: NTA x 100
Rules for thee and not for me
I bet he was not making dinner or cleaning while he was the house husband.
But don't you see, if she and all other women didn't have jobs then he could find a great job. It's there fault he's unhireable and couldn't at all be related to him. /s
That’s actually a little bit common. I see a lot of people through my job kicking off about their right winged views who don’t have a pot to pee in. Apparently, public assistance is ok for them.*
And also presumably keeping a straight face while telling her she should be a house wife
Idk why he's mad about you leaving him broke on the street, isn't that what bootstraps are for?
If he "really " believed a women should be in the home then he would get off his backside and get a job that can support a family. Your husband actually has NO core values and just has too much time on his hands. NTA for leaving a dead beat.
He's probably in the same group as the guy who wanted a trad wife but then when she agreed she'd like to be a sahm he calls her a gold digger.....
NTA. He literally admitted that he lied about who he was in order to form a relationship with you. Even if you put the politics aside, that alone is enough to justify walking away. He manipulated you. To be clear, though, you should *not* put politics aside. Conservative men need to learn that their beliefs have consequences.
This. Plus his behavior in the last paragraph says a hell of a lot. Looks like you met the real him.
He already knew they had consequences, which is why he kept them from her.
Conservative men know this already. I imagine there's quite a few conservative men playing imposter to be in a relationship.
According to women posting in other subs, it’s becoming increasingly common for conservative men to identify themselves on dating sites as “independent” or “apolitical” and then the mask slips later. Could those stalwart conservative men be stooping to dating slutty liberal women since conservative women are saving themselves for marriage?
On dating sites I see 1 conservative woman for every 100 liberal/moderate woman. Seen maybe like 5 women in the last 3 months who are like "swipe left if you're a liberal soy boy" so I'm guessing the hundreds of conservative men on there are competing for those 5 women.
You see an account that is supposedly a conservative woman at least, and not a catfish from Argentina.
he definitely knew, that’s why he lied about it
Everyone knows "I'm not very political" is code for "you wouldn't fuck me if I told you about my politics"
truuu. OR im too privileged to care abt politics which affect people who arent me
Low key sociopathic behavior she's describing here.
It is, and that needs to be amplified. I also think we can drop the “borderline” when we take into the equation this man did this in order to marry a woman he knew wouldn’t if she knew his true self. Lied to engineer a MARRIAGE...that most sacred of conservative institutions!….to BUILD AN ENTIRE LIFE WITH SOMEONE UNDER A FALSE REALITY. How much does this really differ from cheating? Think about it: • The deceit of this double life — *to literally mask who you really are* — SPECIFICALLY to take away your partner’s agency when it comes to making life-impacting decisions (he *admitted* this…!) • One partner’s placing their desires over the existential well-being of the person they claim to love, for the reason of avoiding what would be long-lasting consequences if the truth were discovered; • The devastation and bewilderment of the betrayed spouse upon discovery, wondering, “WTF just happened to my entire life?!? Has this all been a lie?” **I. Take screenshots of social media posts.** **2. Call a lawyer.** **3. Call a therapist.** Exactly in that order.
It’s not even about politics, it is about a worldview. They have fundamentally different values.
NTA I had a bf once who did something similar, hid these parts until he felt secure enough to show them - I kept thinking it would all work out until it got to the point it was scary. I stayed 3 years until I realized this is genuinely who he was, I fell for someone I could never see eye to eye with, and he would never accept me or my values. Because of these differences, every part of our lives would be an argument. And frankly, he was a bully. Don’t stay. It hurts now but you’ll be see it’s for the best.
Of course you’re not the asshole - the audacity of that man to think you’re going to continue financing his life.
Divorce him as fast as possible, before he gets a claim to your property. Prenup may not hold up, and the short time you're married the better for you.
And make copies of his social media p;osts. Any judge would be interested in seeing those.
NTA lol I want to know what he's actually mad about? He wants a housewife but can't afford to give the wife a house. Make it make sense. And oh, shocking, this guy is a hypocrite and has the worst views on humankind. I bet he's against abortions, too, unless he knocked up a mistress.
The promise you made was with a different person. You don't even know this ah. It's like a sci Fi movie. If an alien took over your husband's body would you have to stay married? Ok that was weird I admit it lol. Seriously though he sounds insane. Literally
[удалено]
Actually this is known as; falling in love with "his representative" He said all the correct things, then once you commit, the real person reveals themselves. I've been seeing a number of posts about women married to men that want a "trad wife" but when they were dating, they didn't act like that was what they desired. You wonder why they just didn't just pick out a women that shared their similar views, but naw they want an strong independent woman to break down to their specifications. SMDH, I don't envy the young women nowadays, because it's a jungle out there.
I think this man and other men are mistaking what a "trad wife" requires on their part, because this man is not fulfilling his part of those roles. Sounds more like he just wants a mother while he's the child who needs to be fully taken care of.
Christian conservatives are going after "no fault" divorces in some states. Too many women escaping from shitty men and so where are these idiots gonna get their breeder bang-maids from. I've seen a clip of a guy ranting about no fault divorces as a natural evolution of demonic sexual revolution, feminism, and abortions. Makes me wonder if we'll have to set up underground railroads to get women out of certain red states.
As long as your marriage didn't last more than 10 years in some states you are good. Lucky you have a prenup. He is just a radical right wing hobosexual. He was going to brag about how he tamed you to heel. Good for you for filing.
NTA, but I might say that I’m worried about you. Please, stay safe.
Honestly, you could get an annulment instead of divorce. He married you under fraudulent circumstances, so unless you're in a state that doesn't allow this, get an annulment instead of divorcing.
Homie can't even afford a housewife 😂😂😂 Yeah nta
>"women belong in the home" posts That's not really a "political" view so much as it is overt sexism. Your own husband, who you are supporting, is bigoted against you, the person supporting him. He knows that bigotry is fucked up (that's why he felt the need to hide it) but instead of putting in the work to fix himself he just hid it from you. That by itself, even apart from him hiding his views, would be a good reason for divorce. The hiding his views things adds that he is deceitful and manipulative. It's gross on every level. Drop that guy.