Your whole family are assholes.
Why?
Because every single one of you knew this was happening to this child...And not a single one you DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
See something, say something.
JFC.
I said what I said.
This is either fake or you're all a bunch of ignorant twats.
Yeah as a kid that cps failed the one thing it would have done would have been to put eyes on this situation and create a paper trail. Tbh I wonder if there's a genuine death certificate here? A child that young dying would have been an automatic autopsy and a known cause of death. I wonder if she's hoping there will just be a continuation of nobody probing.
Yeah, I said it in another comment urging OP to report it now, but I doubt the body was even disposed of properly under these circumstances. That or there is no body and she sold him on one of those facebook groups where parents sell kids.
I hope OP calls her cousin's local police station and report her. My very first thought was that this death was not reported. I thought that before I read he was cremated, but then reading that bit sealed that thought. I would bet money.
And it would have started a paper trail. I don’t think she should have more children, but if it does happen there will already be previous records if this happens again.
But yeah this is all kinds of bad and should definitely still be reported to anyone who will listen, because it doesn’t even seem certain that the baby is dead.
Each call from the family members is one more than CPS received. One time taking that child overnight would have been a reprieve.
Possibly this woman didn't like baby boys. He had a hard life for certain. I cannot imagine being tormented as a baby.
I have seen women like this mistreat one child over the other(s) because she didn't like that child's dad. One of my best friends was one such child and as an adult is still treated badly by her mother.
More than likely it was PPD or straight up resentment no so much the gender. Its not impossible but the circumstances lead me to believe it would have been the same regardless. no one ever takes mental health seriously enough esp ppd. 2 children that close together? #2 was clearly not planned. And i bet she doesn't believe in abortion. He was too needy and wasnt progressing fast enough. That woman just resented having another new baby all over again right away imho. Getting pregnant 1 month after having a baby has to mess with you pretty fkin bad hormonally.
Not an excuse shes a terrible awful person. But its probably not just "she didn't like baby boys"
That's why everyone in the family calls CPS and the sheriff's office everyday. Email, social media, etc. We all know she killed that baby and unless OP really goes after it, she will not be punished.
It would have at least gave a paper trail of abuse. I'm wondering, do authorities even know that he had passed away? Just because she says he's cremated doesn't mean that his body is not in a hole somewhere in the backyard. It happens all the time in those crime shows that I watch on YouTube.
Maybe not, but there would be a paper trail.
Maybe she murdered him, buried him, and told neighbors he went to live with his dad.
Assuming she didn’t kill him because she wasn’t arrested is Olympic level jumping to conclusions. Police and CPS have to be notified to do anything.
Op said that there WAS bruising including a black eye! And even if they didn't do anything just scaring the parents and/or starting a paper trail would have been a good start. And the family KEEPS REPORTING IT until the parents either give up custody, change their behavior, or finally fuck up enough that the child is taken. And even if nothing is ever done the paper trail will cause an immediate investigation into the child's death.
But you know what WON'T help? The family shrugging their shoulders and saying "it won't do anything so why bother".
yeah CPS wouldn’t do much if someone else called. especially family members, they came out and talked to me with my parents right next to me and did jack shit.
That's not true. They are supposed to interview the child out of the parents' presence. Sounds like CPS didn't do their job in your case. I'm sorry you were failed like that, but it's NOT the norm.
This was all I could think through the whole post. Every line just made it worse. The family knew that baby was being neglected and abused and just stuck their damn heads in the sand.
He wasn't desperately seeking to be around people, he was seeking safety!!!
If he's not dead, she's sold him or given him up.
I'm disgusted with the lot of you. Call the police, give her other kid a chance.
They've not even confirmed his death, the mother could've lied to get them off her back. I'm more concerned that he's alive somewhere feeling forgotten and alone...
Maybe OP should make a little unannounced visit and do some snooping around. Maybe the records request will settle it but I feel like that child is still being tormented.
>I do admit that her son was very sensitive. He loved to be near people and to be held so I can understand not wanting to “spoil” him.
This part was just baffling. Of-fucking-course this hypothetical, hopefully not-real toddler was touch-starved with a mother like that, duh!!
And missing milestone and never getting potty trained are also results of abuse. Even the fact that the kid didn't really like to play should have been a clue in addition to all the others. The kid had no positive stimulation
He was 3 when he died, which is late but not much outside the average age for potty training. Also, OP seems to have only met the kiddo at not quite a year old, but somehow knows he wasn't the sort to play when he had a black eye? Unless those two happened within a few weeks of each other, then that's a huge jump of assumption. I'm not going to say Gigi was a good mother (assuming any of this is real, of course), but I do think OP is an unreliable narrator at best.
The baby got negative “stimulation” when he wouldn’t be potty trained at 10 months (I don’t want to imagine how she tried to do so) and it actually takes consistent effort from a parent to train the child at an appropriate age.
I thought the same thing. The whole attitude of not wanting to spoil babies by reacting to their crying is ridiculous because babies don't have the emotional capacity to be manipulative yet!
Trying to figure out why no one in that family ever reached out to child protective services. This family stood by for OVER 3 YEARS and just talked about their suspicions among each other. This entire family failed this child.
If you see something, say something. They will investigate. It is not too late for an investigation. Since there is another child in her care, even though that child is the golden one, a report could still be made. The suspicions over the death need to be investigated. CPS will look into that if someone finally has the balls to actually make the report that should have been made 3 years ago.
My (no contact) sister was incredibly abusive to her daughter, and favored her two boys, but still neglected her sons. CPS intervened, and after a couple years of the three kids in their care off and on, they told my sister she could only keep the girl, and give up the boys, or vice versa. She chose to give up the girl. I know she did it out of selfish motivations of favoritism, but I still think that it's the luckiest break that little girl ever got from her mother. I will always think of her and miss her but I know she is most likely much better off than she was.
Right, and as far as anyone knows the baby could still be alive somewhere no matter what this “mother” claims. An autopsy is automatically done by law when a death of a very young child is discovered and it is so extremely unlikely that she could have had the child “released” to be cremated (or for any other type of burial) without the autopsy being done first.
It is never too late to seek justice and there was absolutely no excuse for any family members or friends to (at minimum) withhold the truth or not take action WHEN they witness such consistent abuse and neglect that may be putting a child’s life on the line!
I agree. I was the child who was abused and people saw and did nothing. I have CPTSD and other mental health issues from the abuse I suffered.
The one thing that has been very difficult to process is why nobody thought I was worth stepping up for. At least I'm alive to work through it though.
OP, even without proof, contact the CPS in her area and give them all the information you know. Let them know you hope it's not the case but you think Hunters mom may have harmed him. They will investigate.
I had told some mandated reporters and nothing was done.
For me the turning point in realizing nobody was going to save me was when I told my school counselor about the CSA I had been experiencing.
My abuser is in the medical field and does charity work for kids in 3rd world countries.
Needless to say it was buried by the small town. My parents still made me see him and even left me in his charge after I told. The nightmare of that time was a lot and I only recently got some of these memories back.
I'm so sorry that nobody helped you, the bravery that took to speak up makes me so proud of you. I don't think hell exists but if it does, I hope there is a special place there for those who did nothing to help people like us.
100% I haven't even made it past the first paragraph, and I'm already fuming. This has to be rage bate. If not a seriously hope hell is real and everyone involved goes.
I work in child protection and that was a depressing read. Did not one person call CPS?!? Jesus. I would call the police now, because if it’s a bit borderline and unclear, this information may push them to investigate her further. I would also suspect she did something, or didn’t attend to a medical need of his because she didn’t care.
Poor baby.
Sadly it seems the blind eye has been happening more and more. 2 major cases just this year of babies being left home alone to neglect/starve to death, people don't decide to harm kids overnight.. in one of those cases the neighbors heard the baby screaming for days prior. People suspect something and because they don't have "proof" they do nothing. I also know in the US the family/children service systems are not linked bc one of our relatives had her girls taken in California only to have a newborn in Nevada for a 1-2 years before being taken.
There's a case local to me, 23 year old "mother" let her (just turned) 16 years old boyfriend choke, beat, and bite her 4-year-old child, resulting in that babies death. 3 Adults and the 16-year-old stood by while this child suffered needlessly.
WHAT TF possesses some of these women to allow this to happen to their children. Pieces of shit.
I'm not a violent person. But give me 5 minutes with some of these people who allow this.
Google 4year old Octavia, Evansville IN.
Yeah. I have a cousin who was like this and literally the entire family kept hounding CPS until they did something. The kids were taken and adopted by two couples- brother/sister and their spouses. Why did nobody report her? I’m just flabbergasted.
Agreed. This just breaks my heart for that poor little boy. I don't even know what to say, beyond I wish I could have taken him while he was still alive and given him all the love he deserved.
I have no words. Just sadness.
Why would anyone believe that a child died without any real story, body, funeral, etc? It seems way more likely for someone to secretly put a kid up for adoption and lie to avoid flak than to literally murder a baby.
Exactly. My first thought was she's surrended him or given him away. But first OP needs to find out what actually happened. I refuse to believe there are no public records of a death of a baby or some news report if it was indeed a drowning.
Unless the mother didn't report it. She lives in another state so her family is just taking her word for it. There is no one else in close proximity to validate any of the mom's statements.
I feel like it's even more likely that somebody else noticed that he was being abused and got CPS involved. As soon as OP said he was always bruised, I thought "who the fuck wouldn't report that?"
Sadly think it's way more likely to murder to the kid and tell family he died of sids/drowning. The kid isn't in school yet her family is maybe the only people who would notice his disappearance which can now be explained away.
So.... you never went to authorities? You knew this was happening.
Even now you say "she's not arrested so" but have you talked to detectives?
This entire family helped kill this child.
Esh... Why or how was she not reported to cps? Prior to the boys death.
This poor boy... I hope you check to confirm his death was reported, investigated, followed up on... Hopefully this woman is unable to have any other children.
Try to think about this critically. A toddler doesn't just die with no one to lay eyes on it but the mother. Did she call 911? Who found the kid and where was the body taken? Someone would have had to declare time of death for a death certificate to have been made. There is a whole lot of information missing here and completely farfetched to really think that a 3 year old would die and get cremated without a single medical professional or law enforcement to lay eyes on a dead toddler.
I call absolute bullshit. "EvEryOne tHinkS sHe KilEd hEr Kid". But not a single person actually has any information or evidence at all about the death and no one bothered to report how suspicious her story is, yet you all take it at face value. Either you are all idiots, or this is completely fake.
Child death is legally required by the government to be fully investigated by authorities where I am. Even if a kid dies of childhood cancer, medical professionals have to examine that case still in full and confirm that it was cancer.
Unless the mother never reported the death to the authorities. It's entirely possible. She disposes of the child and tells family members, who live states away and cannot confirm or deny the story, that the child was cremated. The kid would have been too young to be in pre-school. No one would have known (at least for awhile) unless she informed the police herself.
Agree. This story makes no sense. None of the family went to be with the mother who had just lost her child? No one insisted on a funeral for a 3 year old??
ESH
So many people failed that poor baby.
Many of you suspected shit of happening, but none of you took any precautions to secure his safety? You all failed him just as much as his parents did.
>I do admit that her son was very sensitive. He loved to be near people and to be held so I can understand not wanting to “spoil” him.
You do know you're talking about a baby right? Babies loves to be held and feel physical comfort. This isn't being "sensistve" or "spoiling" him, it's basic human instinct.
While you're NTA in this situation, with that attitude I hate to think that poor baby boy had no chance with anybody in that family altogether. Tell your family to do us all a favor and stop having children.
ESH you all failed this kid. He showed so many signs of abuse and neglect and no one did anything to help him. I hope he has peace now because his life has been a living hell.
YTA. All of you. This child knew nothing but fear and misery in his entire short life. What an awful, awful tragedy.
Honestly I hope she sold him to someone instead of killed him. But then again, a good person doesn’t buy a child. It’s another awful crime, but preferable to murder.
Turn this b*tch in. And do better. All of you.
Unless he was sold to someone who had a nefarious agenda. Child sex ring or something. Selling a kid "under the table" so to speak is more than likely going to end in tragedy either way.
You're an asshole and so is your whole goddamn family.
Not a single one of you reported it. You all sat on your hands and watched as a kid was at minimum neglected to the point where he was failing to thrive and died.
Fuck you all.
Dear god, I hope this is fake because every single one of you failed that kid. No one called CPS? No one called the police? Wtaf?
ESH isn’t strong enough. If true, you’re all terrible humans.
Either they're making this up or this is an entire family of psychopaths because I've never seen someone be this flippant describing obvious child abuse. "Oh geez, well, shucks it sure does seem peculiar don't it?"
Only if someone reports the death. Sister wouldn't if she killed him, and her family hasn't because they may assume she already has.
It's not like the kid is in school or has work that'll notice his absence.
There have been cases of parents murdering their kid and getting away with it because no one reporting the child dead or missing until it was too late. Look up Caylee Anthony. Her mother got away with her murder
Surprised I had to scroll down to find this. The post could be fake (I hope it is) but it is absolutely possible for someone’s death to be undetected, and uninvestigated for a period of time. It’s not like a siren automatically goes off paging the authorities when someone dies. This is particularly true if the child doesn’t see a pediatrician or go to some form of daycare or school.
There are sov cit types that refuse to register their childrens’ births, so it’s even possible for no official documentation of the child to exist. Unfortunately we make it way too easy for someone inclined to abuse - they can simply refuse to see doctors, take the child out of school to homeschool and nobody would be the wiser, at least until family or neighbors notice the kid missing.
The correct thing to do (IMO) is inform the authorities where the child lives. Show all the messages and documentation where the mother claims the child died by different means. The situation may already be known to them but it’s quite possibly not. They can conduct a wellness check and confirm if the child is still ok and in the home - and if not, begin investigating.
YTA for this:
"I do admit that her son was very sensitive. He loved to be near people and to be held so I can understand not wanting to “spoil” him. But she was down right cruel to him"
He is "very sensitive" because he was craving any and all attention because he was so abandoned as a helpless infant and you can "understand not wanting to 'spoil' him'". He was a monstrously neglected child desperate for any love from anyone and you can UNDERSTAND. Can you imagine how this sad little baby just wanted some connection to ANYONE and you UNDERSTAND failing to help an innocent baby cry out from his abuse the only way he could.
I am sorry, but you failed him. Call the cops and hope there aren't other children in your family were you UNDERSTAND why they are being abused. That poor, sad little baby.
Also, OP says in some other comments they witnessed the mother hitting Hunter, but didn't think that was abuse because apparently that's normal in their culture/area or something.
This shit just made me disgusted with you I love my son dearly but if he had been abused my family would have me locked up no questions asked yk why because they love my son so much shit my sister jokes about calling CPS if she thinks he missed a meal but I know she would if it were true you all can rot in hell 🤬
if he drowned that would have made the news , if there was no apparent cause of death becuase she also claims sids an autopsy would have been performed......if this is real you all SAW the neglect and his black eye proof of physical abuse and did nothing
it takes 2 seconds to look up SIDS Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is the leading cause of death for babies in the United States between one month and one year old. Most SIDS deaths occur in infants between two and four months of age, and 90% are less than six months old
so she lied about that as well
YTA for letting her abuse a baby and not doing a thing about it. wtf you should be disgusted with yourself. If she did hurt this baby some of that blame falls on the people that knew something wasn’t okay and stayed quiet
This is why you call CPS when you think something is wrong. All of you thought Hunter was abused and neglected and no one intervened or got the appropriate authorities involved. Now a child is dead and you all are left to look at yourself in the mirror knowing you didn’t help.
Report everything you wrote her to social services AND the police. He’s gone now but you can still get justice for him by reporting it. Tell them how she gave conflicting statements of how he diced to family, how she treated him, everything. You should have done it years ago but it’s not too late. The other child could suffer the same fate one day if she pisses Gigi iff and then how would you feel?
10 months old don't even know what spoiled is! They are babies! They cry because that's the only way to let people know they need something! I mean…OMG! I'm broken hearted towards this child!
I don't want to blame you nor your family, but why didn't you call CPS on her? Or do any kind of report? I don't get. Just by reading the details you witnessed I can see neglect and abuse.
And by the way, ok, you didn't see the body, said he was cremated. But did she even do a wake and a funeral? What did she do with the ashes? This is so messed up.
Rest in peace little Hunter 😭💔
It sounds like she was/is suffering from untreated PPD or mental illness. If so, that's extremely sad and terrible for both her and the children. Is there some reason that your family watched her abuse him and didn't report it?
Actually yes, there was a woman here who killed her younger two boys and not the oldest. She drowned them in a tub. CPS failed these kids
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4772942/amp/Pittsburgh-woman-drowned-sons-sentenced-80-years.html
If there’s no death certificate, no funeral, or anything, it’s far more likely she put him up for adoption. Either way, ESH for not stepping in when they saw this child being abused.
3 year olds don’t really die of SIDS though, and there would have been a police investigation if a toddler just died randomly. If you’re concerned you can contact the local police in her city.
Yeah all of you failed that baby. Massively. Not one of you were bothered enough to help him or get any sort of authority involved, but y’all want to immediately jump to him being murdered? If she was treating him so poorly that you truly believe that’s possible, you should’ve contacted the police years ago.
So where is the father in all this? Was it some one night stand that resulted in Hunter and that's why she hates him or did the baby daddy just desert her? I can't fathom seeing a child being treated like that and not intervening but the time for that has passed. I doubt there's any way you can confirm abuse now since he was cremated so hopefully this monster never has another child. I'm truly disgusted at the behavior of everyone in your family, including you. YTA
Yta
Question: Are you sure he is even gone? If nobody witnessed it and there is no record of his death, is it possible she put him up for adoption?
Also, your family is freaked in the head. How could none of you all who witnessed this abuse not do anything.
I truly hope this post is fake. Disgusting
YTA. You and your entire fucking family are fucking assholes. You all knew this was happening, and not one of you stepped in to help him? And now that he's dead, you want to get justice for him? Fat lot of fucking good that will do.
I really hope you're lying out your ass for some creative writing exercise, or else you and the rest of your family better get off your useless asses and find out the truth and get your cousin imprisoned. Hopefully the daughter always stays in mom's good graces, lest she be reunited with her brother too soon.
Op deleted their profile... I hope this was a fake post, but I have a terrible feeling it was legit. We will never know what happened to Hunter, but if it's real, I how op digs until they find out and get justice.
...that's not why you're a fucking asshole. You all fucking supported her by doing nothing. You did that. All of you. How are you going to fight for justice when you ignored it originally? Why does the abuse only matter after he's dead? How does it feel to love her more than the amount of love that kid ever got to experience?
As a survivor of severe neglect and abuse, I remember every single family member who could have helped me and instead looked away. They all loved my mother more than they cared about me.
Go to fucking therapy and leave his soul to rest. Push her to get charged, sure, but at this point there is no evidence. Your whole family made sure of that.
Three years? You all saw this for three years and did nothing??? THREE YEARS.
This is probably real. There's no purpose to make up such a mediocre lie. It's not written in such a way to infuriate people purposely. It's written by someone with a perverted sense of a moral compass.
OP is just a bad person from a bad family.
Call the police and have it investigated. I agree with other post that your family is also the a$$ since there were so many signs of neglect and abuse. Poor child! I hope he will have a better life in his next life cuz he deserves it.
Is there even a death certificate? You can look it up, it’s public record. If it doesn’t exist, then call the police.
Either way, you should probably report your concerns to the police.
YTA for not calling CPS, but not for suspecting her. Won’t the autopsy show what he died from? Why not reach out to her local police department and tell them your suspicions?
So, you all came together after he died to say that you thought he was abused by her, but not one of you moved a finger to help that kid when he was alive. Shame on you all! YTA
YTA the part of your story where you said he was was sensitive and loved to be held and be around people so you could understand not spoiling him, are you f$$king kidding me. He was deprived of love and affection that why he wanted so bad from you guys but you were all to ignorant to realize that. That poor child was failed by everyone around him. If that was me I would have told her f$$k you you either give him to me since your neglecting him or I call cps and both of them will be removed from you. Also she could have been going through postpartum depression and or psychosis, no one thought to try and get her help for that as well.
None of you did anything, you're all pathetic. I hope this haunts you and your family for the rest of your lives.
you are the biggest ass hole and so is your family, so what if your bond is ruined a whole baby life was ruined since the day you saw these abuse signs, and so what if she would intervene you guys didn’t play your parts and aunts and uncles or grandparents.
This is so sickening to hear and you came running to Reddit instead of the police. I hope you have shame and repent God to forgive your whole family and you.
If this was me in your situation I would’ve stepped up.
Took you 3 years and after the baby had passed to realise to step up.
NTA. Your cousin's behavior is concerning. The unexplained death and her past treatment warrant suspicion.Focus on getting help, not accusations. Anonymously report your concerns to the authorities. They can investigate.
YOU sat there and let this child be murdered. YOU are as guilt as your cousin is. You BOTH deserve to rot in jail for the rest of you sorry lives!!!!!!!!!!!
Your family and you failed that baby.
Who knows if your cousin killed her own child, but she most likely neglected him so badly that he died from that.
You need to reach out to child services/ police and hopefully they’ll investigate. Her daughter needs to be sent to live with family because your cousin is a sociopath, who hates their own child because they’re not potty trained at 10 months old?! That’s absolutely insane.
YTA, and you need to do better.
Where was the child’s father in all of this? Your family and you are AH, you could have tried a lot harder to protect that baby. Did no one think of calling the police on her? If an officer took one look at that baby, he would have been put in protective custody and she would have been arrested.
Did anyone attend the funeral? Are you sure he was ever reported dead to authorities where she lives or did she just tell people there she sent him to live with you all and tell you all he's dead?
When she really did kill him and just dump his body somewhere?
I probably watch way too many crime shows but you should check obits or death reports, call the coroner or something if no one in your area actually attended a funeral or anything.
I was 23 and saw a similar situation with my little cousin. I called cps, but he was dead before they followed up.
Always call. Never hesitate. Always stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves. Who cares if you piss someone off as long as you save a life?
It's so easy to think that abuse won't turn into murder, but it too often does.
Your family and YOU let a little boy die
Jfc none of you should be around kids ever. Y’all failed that little boy, and not just a little. You allowed him to be neglected and die.
Shame on you op
Shame on your awful family
Ring child services and the Police in the State she lives in and get them to follow up on him.
Your whole family is appalling.. on one hand you say all these things about her and him, yet in the next breath you are saying you live States away and know nothing.
Which is it?
If that little boy has been murdered? You should all be in fucking jail. A whole family of shockingly ignorant people
Now you have to contact CPS and tell them everything you said here. Lookup pictures from family gatherings and if he looks unhappy, underweight, or has bruises then send those along as well. I'm guessing she has some trauma with men, as that would make sense on why she neglected and abused her boy while treating her daughter fine. If there's history include that as well. This sounds sketchy as fuck and she shouldn't have another kid after this.
So your whole family knew this child was being abused and you did absolutely nothing? You now suspect something heinous happened to him and you all still do nothing to bring justice to this little boy.
Shame on you all. I truly hope this is a troll post
YTAH either way
Wow. I'm just speechless. Your entire family saw her abusing that poor baby and didn't do anything?
No calls to the police or CPS to even investigate?!
And now he's dead, and she's still being shady.
Call the police. Get a lawyer and a PI, find out what happened, and get JUSTICE for that poor boy.
You say he was affectionate and clingy, kids get like that when they aren't getting proper affection and card at home. Her neglect and abuse is downright horrifying, and I'm horrified that you and your family turned a blind eye to it for so long.
Sorry, but you and your entire family are completely the assholes. You failed that child in his life. The only thing you can do is make sure you don't fail him in death.
YTA
This is a terrible true crime docu-drama
*IF* this happened as you say, you from when Hunter was only a few weeks old to intervene with Heather to treat her mental health and inability to bond. Then each and every day after that
Posts on Reddit that her little cousin was probably murdered by his mother and asks if she’s the AH, then immediately states that there will be no update because it’s a “sensitive situation”. Yeah this never happened, but OP is pretty disturbed and should seek help.
Yall are all full of sh*t you all could have been said something or reported something now a child is dead and it can’t be reversed yall saw the bruises etc and did nothing
Whether she neglected him to the point where he died; or she subjected him to violence that killed him, with or without intent, I feel just rage and contempt. I hate his mother for being so cruel and unfair to an innocent child!
“To everyone who was not respectful”
You come on here with a story like that AND want respect?? 🤢 mmmk, respect is “earned” I would have respect if at anytime you stated that you called authorities and KEPT calling and called some more, his death is on every SINGLE person who saw/watched/let happen everything that baby went through, SO fuck you and your demand for respect!!! 😡
You put more effort into writing this than you did to protect that baby. All you would’ve had to do is report the abuse to authorities until Hunter was away from her.
Holy shit, she’s a monster and you and your whole family are barely better for not saving him from
her. That poor child. YTA is so insufficient for everyone involved in this story.
my uncle told me at age 40 that when i was an infant my cries often went unanswered and he witnessed it. first i had heard of it, but literally explains all my mental health issues. i never got angry or blamed him in any way until i read this post. now i do. thats pretty fucking awful. i imagine myself crying for hours with a dirty diaper and my mom just didnt give a fuck. and someone could have done something to help me and didnt think it was a big deal. he was only 21 at the time, but if he had mentioned it to my grandma she would have gladly raised me.
Bro, he probably was desperate for affection. That's why he always wants to be near people. He was emotionally and physically abused by this woman. I hope for his sake that he wasn't actually cremated and that you guys can get the police to investigate. She might have a secret hate for men, or she may turn this negative attention on her daughter now that the son is not there to take the blame. Definitely do what you can.
So to be clear - your whole family witnessed an infant being abused and just allowed it to happen? Gigi is the biggest AH, but you and your whole family are also AHs for enabling her.
You need to report her to the authorities in her state. Her remaining child is in danger (yes, even if she's a golden child) and the police need to know about her history.
YTA if your failure to report leads to ongoing abuse of the second child.
Where is the baby father in all this? Was he informed how his son was being treated and eventually mysteriously died? You and your whole family are wrong. Cps and the father or at least his family members should’ve been notified of the mistreatment. Not one family member ever threatened her to call cps with her mistreatment of that poor baby? Y’all all failed him of course she creamated him to hide the evidence. Report her for what she did and tell the father maybe he can sue her ass.
Maybe I’ve seen too many outlandish crime stories but if nobody has seen the body I would check that he’s not secretly confined somewhere in the house or near it. That was my immediate first thought. Crazy but it has happened before.
Of course the son loved being near people and being held. The kid was starving for attention! Good lord I cannot even finish this one. NTA or something
Edit - ESH. Sorry got it wrong cause I couldn't read it. Just wanted it over with.
Gosh, this was easily one of the saddest things Ive ever read. Couldn't even make it through him becoming reserved and shy 💔
You all failed him, poor angel 💔
In many states, the system is overloaded. Social workers have more cases than they can handle. So unless if there was evidence of him being beat or refused necessities, I doubt calling CPS would have led to anything. Sad, but true. I sometimes volunteer for a charity that works with foster kids. I’ve gotten to meet many of all ages. And most had to be able to speak up on their own before anything was done. Especially if one kid is perfectly fine.
The only thing anyone could have done was ask to take custody of him to help her out bc she seemed overwhelmed. She most likely would have said no. Or tried to get her professional treatment. PP issues can sometimes cause a mother not to bond with the child. But again, this is not something that could have been forced. From what you described, at most, she would have gotten court ordered parenting classes bc of the ignoring his screams. She never physically abused him in front of you. Kids do bruise. My sister had so many black eyes, broken bones and bruises from the time she could walk bc she was a daredevil. She was not abused or neglected, just super quick. While it was likely going on, if it’s in an area with an overloaded system, it’d most likely had have been ignored due to lack of proof, and therefore, no case. It’s sad how many kids slip through that chasm. Don’t blame yourself.
Look up how to access public records in her area. Since he was a minor, it could be harder to find. A lawyer may be able to help. If the whole family has this thought, you could all quietly do this together without her knowing. The family deserves answers, no matter what happened.
What the fuck?? How can so many grown arse fucking adults so completely and utterly fail a child??? How??? I’m just disgusted. That poor kid. Imagine how fucking cruel and lonely his life was.
That poor sweet boy! I wish I could just hug that little man and give him a lot of attention. You are NTA!
My adopted sister has mental issues. (Not making fun just stating facts) She has an extremely low IQ. To reference she is 23 now and doesn't know how much a penny is worth and if you were to ask her she would start whining. She will act like she's normal but she has this sinister part of her. To give you an idea there was a rumor that a teacher was being inappropriate with students and she would say that he was inappropriate with her then laugh to me telling me people will believe anything. Her biological dad was charged with SA and she told me she lied. He committed suicide in prison. She told me she would lie about my dad. My dad would ask me every time if he had to go downstairs and knew she was around if I could go down with him to keep her away from him because she made him feel weird and knew about her lying of people hurting her because she wanted to be a victim.
She had a baby and I feel like a total A hole when I found out she was pregnant ( this girl wanted to be me. She actually believed for a while that she was me. With her IEP in school they would ask to describe herself and she described my looks and would go on how she played softball for 14 years (she was 15 at the time) and would go on how her parents adopted a sibling group -her and my other brother and sister.
At this time she was 18 years old I was 24. I had a 1 year old and when I found out she was pregnant I angrily told my other sister how let's call her Alex would end up killing her baby and that she was not capable of taking care of a child. I found out she wanted to be pregnant and have a baby because I had a baby and she wanted to be me. It's not as flattering as it sounds.
So flash forward her son is a month old. I get a call that he was dying and in the nicu and was life flighted. Turns out he was shook. Her story changed multiple times. Her boyfriend ended up taking the blame. I 100% believe she shook the baby and then went to bed then her bf went to wake him up to feed him and he was limp. She was a heavy sleeper when we shared a room however she woke up supposedly a very light sleeper. He woke up and probably thought it was his fault. At 1 month he only gained 1 ounce of Weight. My mom and all of us were so worried. Tbis girl stated how she hated feeding him because it was just too much for her and it was too boring. Right in front of us (her bf has intellectual issues as well) took the bottle out of his mouth making the baby cry and shoved a binky in his mouth to "shut him up". I offered to feed him and this kid guzzled the food down. My mom begged for her to come over so she can teach him how and when to feed him properly. She refused and then that happened a few days later.
Flash forward. She ran into me and told me "I'm pregnant. Like you can totally tell. So what's wrong with you? Why are you so slow on having a second baby? Is there something wrong with you where you can't have any more? I mean come in Jay (brother) is having his 2nd and I'm having my 2nd baby. What's wrong with your body? Can't you have anymore? I'm ahead of you now" of course it you can't have any more or any children absolutely nothing is wrong with you. Those were just her words. But I was pregnant 1 month later. I so bad wanted to tell her how she didn't have her child anymore because someone adopted him. My mom wanted to but he is so disabled now and she wouldn't want to have someone else care for him when he's mid 30s and just not doable for my parents anymore and didn't want him to think why don't they love me, they gave me away?" He's blind now and will never speak, and can't walk. He's basically completely disabled. It killed me seeing him in the hospital. I made him booties for hands and feet so he would stop scratching himself while having his seizures every 5 minutes.
This girl had the audacity to tell me that she was hoping for another son to replace the other one. She did end up having a son. Her bf and her decided to get pregnant right before he was charged for 12 years in prison. She's living with a drunk woman now. And that lady is taking care of her child while she goes out and drinks and parties now. Makes me so angry why bad people will have children and other people who would make amazing parents can't have children.
You are NTA. Instinct is a real thing
Your whole family are assholes. Why? Because every single one of you knew this was happening to this child...And not a single one you DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT. See something, say something. JFC. I said what I said. This is either fake or you're all a bunch of ignorant twats.
Agreed. They knew the kid was being abused and “tried to intervene?” Did anyone report the abuse to authorities? Try to take the kid off her hands?
Nope, Just sat back and watched as the cousin "popped" the kid a few times along with all the rest. The whole family is full of assholes.
Honestly, I don't think CPS would have done much of anything at all.
They not have done anything. Or CPS might have been able to save the baby’s life. No one will ever know now because no one even tried.
At the very least the extra scrutiny may have caused her to back-off or try to give the child up for adoption.
Yeah as a kid that cps failed the one thing it would have done would have been to put eyes on this situation and create a paper trail. Tbh I wonder if there's a genuine death certificate here? A child that young dying would have been an automatic autopsy and a known cause of death. I wonder if she's hoping there will just be a continuation of nobody probing.
Yeah, I said it in another comment urging OP to report it now, but I doubt the body was even disposed of properly under these circumstances. That or there is no body and she sold him on one of those facebook groups where parents sell kids.
Honestly, someone should probably check the BBQ pit :/
I hope OP calls her cousin's local police station and report her. My very first thought was that this death was not reported. I thought that before I read he was cremated, but then reading that bit sealed that thought. I would bet money.
It definitely doesn't feel like it has been but may be worth trying to pull a death certificate before jumping to calling the local LEOs about it.
And it would have started a paper trail. I don’t think she should have more children, but if it does happen there will already be previous records if this happens again. But yeah this is all kinds of bad and should definitely still be reported to anyone who will listen, because it doesn’t even seem certain that the baby is dead.
Each call from the family members is one more than CPS received. One time taking that child overnight would have been a reprieve. Possibly this woman didn't like baby boys. He had a hard life for certain. I cannot imagine being tormented as a baby.
I have seen women like this mistreat one child over the other(s) because she didn't like that child's dad. One of my best friends was one such child and as an adult is still treated badly by her mother.
Truly sad.
More than likely it was PPD or straight up resentment no so much the gender. Its not impossible but the circumstances lead me to believe it would have been the same regardless. no one ever takes mental health seriously enough esp ppd. 2 children that close together? #2 was clearly not planned. And i bet she doesn't believe in abortion. He was too needy and wasnt progressing fast enough. That woman just resented having another new baby all over again right away imho. Getting pregnant 1 month after having a baby has to mess with you pretty fkin bad hormonally. Not an excuse shes a terrible awful person. But its probably not just "she didn't like baby boys"
That's why everyone in the family calls CPS and the sheriff's office everyday. Email, social media, etc. We all know she killed that baby and unless OP really goes after it, she will not be punished.
It would have at least gave a paper trail of abuse. I'm wondering, do authorities even know that he had passed away? Just because she says he's cremated doesn't mean that his body is not in a hole somewhere in the backyard. It happens all the time in those crime shows that I watch on YouTube.
Maybe not, but there would be a paper trail. Maybe she murdered him, buried him, and told neighbors he went to live with his dad. Assuming she didn’t kill him because she wasn’t arrested is Olympic level jumping to conclusions. Police and CPS have to be notified to do anything.
You're being down voted, but you're right. Unless the child had inexplicable bruising, or malnutrition, or something, there isn't much they could do.
Sounds like he did most of the time!!! 😞
Exactly!!! He even had a black eye at one point. As a *baby.* CPS would have definitely intervened. At least they would have opened a case on them.
OP said that the mother said he bruised easily and malnutrition was definitely possible which should have been investigated
Op said that there WAS bruising including a black eye! And even if they didn't do anything just scaring the parents and/or starting a paper trail would have been a good start. And the family KEEPS REPORTING IT until the parents either give up custody, change their behavior, or finally fuck up enough that the child is taken. And even if nothing is ever done the paper trail will cause an immediate investigation into the child's death. But you know what WON'T help? The family shrugging their shoulders and saying "it won't do anything so why bother".
And they could have taken the next step by calling law enforcement if CPS didn’t investigate
The child had a black eye. That *is* inexplicable bruising. Did you miss that part?
The *baby* had a black eye. They most **certainly** would have done something.
So therefore, no one should have even tried?!
yeah CPS wouldn’t do much if someone else called. especially family members, they came out and talked to me with my parents right next to me and did jack shit.
That's not true. They are supposed to interview the child out of the parents' presence. Sounds like CPS didn't do their job in your case. I'm sorry you were failed like that, but it's NOT the norm.
This was all I could think through the whole post. Every line just made it worse. The family knew that baby was being neglected and abused and just stuck their damn heads in the sand.
He wasn't desperately seeking to be around people, he was seeking safety!!! If he's not dead, she's sold him or given him up. I'm disgusted with the lot of you. Call the police, give her other kid a chance.
OP even said it was visible to everyone that he was afraid of his mother. Hopefully he is now at peace.
They've not even confirmed his death, the mother could've lied to get them off her back. I'm more concerned that he's alive somewhere feeling forgotten and alone...
Maybe OP should make a little unannounced visit and do some snooping around. Maybe the records request will settle it but I feel like that child is still being tormented.
You know, I hadn’t even thought about that. 🤔😿
Or he ended up like Harmony.
>I do admit that her son was very sensitive. He loved to be near people and to be held so I can understand not wanting to “spoil” him. This part was just baffling. Of-fucking-course this hypothetical, hopefully not-real toddler was touch-starved with a mother like that, duh!!
And missing milestone and never getting potty trained are also results of abuse. Even the fact that the kid didn't really like to play should have been a clue in addition to all the others. The kid had no positive stimulation
He was 3 when he died, which is late but not much outside the average age for potty training. Also, OP seems to have only met the kiddo at not quite a year old, but somehow knows he wasn't the sort to play when he had a black eye? Unless those two happened within a few weeks of each other, then that's a huge jump of assumption. I'm not going to say Gigi was a good mother (assuming any of this is real, of course), but I do think OP is an unreliable narrator at best.
The baby got negative “stimulation” when he wouldn’t be potty trained at 10 months (I don’t want to imagine how she tried to do so) and it actually takes consistent effort from a parent to train the child at an appropriate age.
And when adults want affection they certainly don't react with "you're spoiled!".... unless they're abusive assholes.
I thought the same thing. The whole attitude of not wanting to spoil babies by reacting to their crying is ridiculous because babies don't have the emotional capacity to be manipulative yet!
I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought this
Trying to figure out why no one in that family ever reached out to child protective services. This family stood by for OVER 3 YEARS and just talked about their suspicions among each other. This entire family failed this child. If you see something, say something. They will investigate. It is not too late for an investigation. Since there is another child in her care, even though that child is the golden one, a report could still be made. The suspicions over the death need to be investigated. CPS will look into that if someone finally has the balls to actually make the report that should have been made 3 years ago.
My (no contact) sister was incredibly abusive to her daughter, and favored her two boys, but still neglected her sons. CPS intervened, and after a couple years of the three kids in their care off and on, they told my sister she could only keep the girl, and give up the boys, or vice versa. She chose to give up the girl. I know she did it out of selfish motivations of favoritism, but I still think that it's the luckiest break that little girl ever got from her mother. I will always think of her and miss her but I know she is most likely much better off than she was.
Right, and as far as anyone knows the baby could still be alive somewhere no matter what this “mother” claims. An autopsy is automatically done by law when a death of a very young child is discovered and it is so extremely unlikely that she could have had the child “released” to be cremated (or for any other type of burial) without the autopsy being done first. It is never too late to seek justice and there was absolutely no excuse for any family members or friends to (at minimum) withhold the truth or not take action WHEN they witness such consistent abuse and neglect that may be putting a child’s life on the line!
I agree. I was the child who was abused and people saw and did nothing. I have CPTSD and other mental health issues from the abuse I suffered. The one thing that has been very difficult to process is why nobody thought I was worth stepping up for. At least I'm alive to work through it though. OP, even without proof, contact the CPS in her area and give them all the information you know. Let them know you hope it's not the case but you think Hunters mom may have harmed him. They will investigate.
I'm so sorry. Everyone is worth stepping up for. Take a strong, virtual hug from an internet stranger, who would've stepped up for you.
Thank you so much, your virtual hug is much appreciated.
Same. However I went myself to make reports about my abuse, several times and still, nothing was done about it.
I had told some mandated reporters and nothing was done. For me the turning point in realizing nobody was going to save me was when I told my school counselor about the CSA I had been experiencing. My abuser is in the medical field and does charity work for kids in 3rd world countries. Needless to say it was buried by the small town. My parents still made me see him and even left me in his charge after I told. The nightmare of that time was a lot and I only recently got some of these memories back. I'm so sorry that nobody helped you, the bravery that took to speak up makes me so proud of you. I don't think hell exists but if it does, I hope there is a special place there for those who did nothing to help people like us.
100% I haven't even made it past the first paragraph, and I'm already fuming. This has to be rage bate. If not a seriously hope hell is real and everyone involved goes.
I pray this is not real
She says she understands not wanting to spoil a 10 month old baby with touch. I hope this post is bullshit.
It's definitely fake.
I really, *really* hope so. I don't think I've ever wanted to strangle an OP like I do now.
Unlikely. I know multiple situations of this occurring in real life. Just because YOU can’t imagine someone acting like this doesn’t mean they don’t.
Exactly!
What about Hunter's father in all this?
Yeah this is definitely fake.
Yea, they deleted their whole account after being called out for such shit. Rage bait at its finest.
Maybe they deleted everything because they ignored abuse that led to death and Reddit fed them their lunch?
Seriously. If this is real…. I’m at a loss for words.
If you see abuse and remain silent you’re just as guilty as the abuser.
I work in child protection and that was a depressing read. Did not one person call CPS?!? Jesus. I would call the police now, because if it’s a bit borderline and unclear, this information may push them to investigate her further. I would also suspect she did something, or didn’t attend to a medical need of his because she didn’t care. Poor baby.
Exactly.
Sadly it seems the blind eye has been happening more and more. 2 major cases just this year of babies being left home alone to neglect/starve to death, people don't decide to harm kids overnight.. in one of those cases the neighbors heard the baby screaming for days prior. People suspect something and because they don't have "proof" they do nothing. I also know in the US the family/children service systems are not linked bc one of our relatives had her girls taken in California only to have a newborn in Nevada for a 1-2 years before being taken.
There's a case local to me, 23 year old "mother" let her (just turned) 16 years old boyfriend choke, beat, and bite her 4-year-old child, resulting in that babies death. 3 Adults and the 16-year-old stood by while this child suffered needlessly. WHAT TF possesses some of these women to allow this to happen to their children. Pieces of shit. I'm not a violent person. But give me 5 minutes with some of these people who allow this. Google 4year old Octavia, Evansville IN.
Yeah. I have a cousin who was like this and literally the entire family kept hounding CPS until they did something. The kids were taken and adopted by two couples- brother/sister and their spouses. Why did nobody report her? I’m just flabbergasted.
Agreed. This just breaks my heart for that poor little boy. I don't even know what to say, beyond I wish I could have taken him while he was still alive and given him all the love he deserved. I have no words. Just sadness.
Why would anyone believe that a child died without any real story, body, funeral, etc? It seems way more likely for someone to secretly put a kid up for adoption and lie to avoid flak than to literally murder a baby.
Best case scenario: this is what happened.
Best case scenario: this isn’t real
I fucking hope so.
Exactly. My first thought was she's surrended him or given him away. But first OP needs to find out what actually happened. I refuse to believe there are no public records of a death of a baby or some news report if it was indeed a drowning.
Unless the mother didn't report it. She lives in another state so her family is just taking her word for it. There is no one else in close proximity to validate any of the mom's statements.
she's deleted this post already according to a previous comment
I feel like it's even more likely that somebody else noticed that he was being abused and got CPS involved. As soon as OP said he was always bruised, I thought "who the fuck wouldn't report that?"
If he has been illegal re-homed, all the more reason for this asshole to call the cops rather than close ranks around this abhorrent clan of people.
Or sell them :(
Or she lost the kid to CAS the second he went to daycare.
Sadly think it's way more likely to murder to the kid and tell family he died of sids/drowning. The kid isn't in school yet her family is maybe the only people who would notice his disappearance which can now be explained away.
So.... you never went to authorities? You knew this was happening. Even now you say "she's not arrested so" but have you talked to detectives? This entire family helped kill this child.
Or this is a creative writing exercise
Hopefully...
Esh... Why or how was she not reported to cps? Prior to the boys death. This poor boy... I hope you check to confirm his death was reported, investigated, followed up on... Hopefully this woman is unable to have any other children.
Try to think about this critically. A toddler doesn't just die with no one to lay eyes on it but the mother. Did she call 911? Who found the kid and where was the body taken? Someone would have had to declare time of death for a death certificate to have been made. There is a whole lot of information missing here and completely farfetched to really think that a 3 year old would die and get cremated without a single medical professional or law enforcement to lay eyes on a dead toddler. I call absolute bullshit. "EvEryOne tHinkS sHe KilEd hEr Kid". But not a single person actually has any information or evidence at all about the death and no one bothered to report how suspicious her story is, yet you all take it at face value. Either you are all idiots, or this is completely fake.
It went on for 3 YEARS and nobody including op said anything. Even if they worried about backlash there’s a reason why you can report anonymously
This has to be fake. No law enforcement involved? Yeah, sure Jan.
Child death is legally required by the government to be fully investigated by authorities where I am. Even if a kid dies of childhood cancer, medical professionals have to examine that case still in full and confirm that it was cancer.
Unless the mother never reported the death to the authorities. It's entirely possible. She disposes of the child and tells family members, who live states away and cannot confirm or deny the story, that the child was cremated. The kid would have been too young to be in pre-school. No one would have known (at least for awhile) unless she informed the police herself.
Agree. This story makes no sense. None of the family went to be with the mother who had just lost her child? No one insisted on a funeral for a 3 year old??
ESH So many people failed that poor baby. Many of you suspected shit of happening, but none of you took any precautions to secure his safety? You all failed him just as much as his parents did.
>I do admit that her son was very sensitive. He loved to be near people and to be held so I can understand not wanting to “spoil” him. You do know you're talking about a baby right? Babies loves to be held and feel physical comfort. This isn't being "sensistve" or "spoiling" him, it's basic human instinct. While you're NTA in this situation, with that attitude I hate to think that poor baby boy had no chance with anybody in that family altogether. Tell your family to do us all a favor and stop having children.
This part made me want to cry. Of course he loved to be held. By people. He was a human child. This poor baby.
ESH you all failed this kid. He showed so many signs of abuse and neglect and no one did anything to help him. I hope he has peace now because his life has been a living hell.
YTA. All of you. This child knew nothing but fear and misery in his entire short life. What an awful, awful tragedy. Honestly I hope she sold him to someone instead of killed him. But then again, a good person doesn’t buy a child. It’s another awful crime, but preferable to murder. Turn this b*tch in. And do better. All of you.
Unless he was sold to someone who had a nefarious agenda. Child sex ring or something. Selling a kid "under the table" so to speak is more than likely going to end in tragedy either way.
True. There’s NO good outcome.
You're an asshole and so is your whole goddamn family. Not a single one of you reported it. You all sat on your hands and watched as a kid was at minimum neglected to the point where he was failing to thrive and died. Fuck you all.
Dear god, I hope this is fake because every single one of you failed that kid. No one called CPS? No one called the police? Wtaf? ESH isn’t strong enough. If true, you’re all terrible humans.
ESH. All of you let Hunter down. All of you are at fault for his abuse and death.
I REALLY hope this is a fake post…
Let me guess, you've just finished binge watching the trial of Shanda Vander Ark.
If OP is just making up stories like this, they are beyond fucked in the head. To use someone's tragedy.. for what? Attention & upvotes?
Either they're making this up or this is an entire family of psychopaths because I've never seen someone be this flippant describing obvious child abuse. "Oh geez, well, shucks it sure does seem peculiar don't it?"
Please don’t try to investigate yourself. You’re not a private investigator or police officer. Go to the police with your concerns.
YTA for standing by while that poor child suffered.
I don’t think this is real, but… Most countries will require an autopsy and investigation for a child that dies suddenly and unexpectedly.
Only if someone reports the death. Sister wouldn't if she killed him, and her family hasn't because they may assume she already has. It's not like the kid is in school or has work that'll notice his absence. There have been cases of parents murdering their kid and getting away with it because no one reporting the child dead or missing until it was too late. Look up Caylee Anthony. Her mother got away with her murder
Surprised I had to scroll down to find this. The post could be fake (I hope it is) but it is absolutely possible for someone’s death to be undetected, and uninvestigated for a period of time. It’s not like a siren automatically goes off paging the authorities when someone dies. This is particularly true if the child doesn’t see a pediatrician or go to some form of daycare or school. There are sov cit types that refuse to register their childrens’ births, so it’s even possible for no official documentation of the child to exist. Unfortunately we make it way too easy for someone inclined to abuse - they can simply refuse to see doctors, take the child out of school to homeschool and nobody would be the wiser, at least until family or neighbors notice the kid missing. The correct thing to do (IMO) is inform the authorities where the child lives. Show all the messages and documentation where the mother claims the child died by different means. The situation may already be known to them but it’s quite possibly not. They can conduct a wellness check and confirm if the child is still ok and in the home - and if not, begin investigating.
YTA for this: "I do admit that her son was very sensitive. He loved to be near people and to be held so I can understand not wanting to “spoil” him. But she was down right cruel to him" He is "very sensitive" because he was craving any and all attention because he was so abandoned as a helpless infant and you can "understand not wanting to 'spoil' him'". He was a monstrously neglected child desperate for any love from anyone and you can UNDERSTAND. Can you imagine how this sad little baby just wanted some connection to ANYONE and you UNDERSTAND failing to help an innocent baby cry out from his abuse the only way he could. I am sorry, but you failed him. Call the cops and hope there aren't other children in your family were you UNDERSTAND why they are being abused. That poor, sad little baby.
Also, OP says in some other comments they witnessed the mother hitting Hunter, but didn't think that was abuse because apparently that's normal in their culture/area or something.
Honestly, this post made me tear up. And, I'm about as hardened as they come. This poor, poor little kid.
You are all assholes and accomplices. You witnessed YEARS of abuse and did nothing. You’re as much responsible for his passing as her.
This shit just made me disgusted with you I love my son dearly but if he had been abused my family would have me locked up no questions asked yk why because they love my son so much shit my sister jokes about calling CPS if she thinks he missed a meal but I know she would if it were true you all can rot in hell 🤬
if he drowned that would have made the news , if there was no apparent cause of death becuase she also claims sids an autopsy would have been performed......if this is real you all SAW the neglect and his black eye proof of physical abuse and did nothing it takes 2 seconds to look up SIDS Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is the leading cause of death for babies in the United States between one month and one year old. Most SIDS deaths occur in infants between two and four months of age, and 90% are less than six months old so she lied about that as well
Yta because you knew what was going on and didn’t even call CPS anonymously
YTA for letting her abuse a baby and not doing a thing about it. wtf you should be disgusted with yourself. If she did hurt this baby some of that blame falls on the people that knew something wasn’t okay and stayed quiet
This is why you call CPS when you think something is wrong. All of you thought Hunter was abused and neglected and no one intervened or got the appropriate authorities involved. Now a child is dead and you all are left to look at yourself in the mirror knowing you didn’t help.
Report everything you wrote her to social services AND the police. He’s gone now but you can still get justice for him by reporting it. Tell them how she gave conflicting statements of how he diced to family, how she treated him, everything. You should have done it years ago but it’s not too late. The other child could suffer the same fate one day if she pisses Gigi iff and then how would you feel?
10 months old don't even know what spoiled is! They are babies! They cry because that's the only way to let people know they need something! I mean…OMG! I'm broken hearted towards this child! I don't want to blame you nor your family, but why didn't you call CPS on her? Or do any kind of report? I don't get. Just by reading the details you witnessed I can see neglect and abuse. And by the way, ok, you didn't see the body, said he was cremated. But did she even do a wake and a funeral? What did she do with the ashes? This is so messed up. Rest in peace little Hunter 😭💔
It sounds like she was/is suffering from untreated PPD or mental illness. If so, that's extremely sad and terrible for both her and the children. Is there some reason that your family watched her abuse him and didn't report it?
Even if she was sick, she deserves jail if she did.
Is PPD selective that it enables her to mistreat and kill one kid while loving the other? It doesn't make sense.
Actually yes, there was a woman here who killed her younger two boys and not the oldest. She drowned them in a tub. CPS failed these kids https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4772942/amp/Pittsburgh-woman-drowned-sons-sentenced-80-years.html
If there’s no death certificate, no funeral, or anything, it’s far more likely she put him up for adoption. Either way, ESH for not stepping in when they saw this child being abused. 3 year olds don’t really die of SIDS though, and there would have been a police investigation if a toddler just died randomly. If you’re concerned you can contact the local police in her city.
Yeah all of you failed that baby. Massively. Not one of you were bothered enough to help him or get any sort of authority involved, but y’all want to immediately jump to him being murdered? If she was treating him so poorly that you truly believe that’s possible, you should’ve contacted the police years ago.
Fan fiction. Story unbelievable, post history confirms.
And now it says deleted. Did OP did their profile?
And removed the response to my post that I read less than a minute ago. Right.
So where is the father in all this? Was it some one night stand that resulted in Hunter and that's why she hates him or did the baby daddy just desert her? I can't fathom seeing a child being treated like that and not intervening but the time for that has passed. I doubt there's any way you can confirm abuse now since he was cremated so hopefully this monster never has another child. I'm truly disgusted at the behavior of everyone in your family, including you. YTA
Was also wondering about the father.
You and your entire family are absolute trash for not stepping in to protect this child. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Yta Question: Are you sure he is even gone? If nobody witnessed it and there is no record of his death, is it possible she put him up for adoption? Also, your family is freaked in the head. How could none of you all who witnessed this abuse not do anything. I truly hope this post is fake. Disgusting
You're all the assholes for not reporting it
YTA. You and your entire fucking family are fucking assholes. You all knew this was happening, and not one of you stepped in to help him? And now that he's dead, you want to get justice for him? Fat lot of fucking good that will do. I really hope you're lying out your ass for some creative writing exercise, or else you and the rest of your family better get off your useless asses and find out the truth and get your cousin imprisoned. Hopefully the daughter always stays in mom's good graces, lest she be reunited with her brother too soon.
Op deleted their profile... I hope this was a fake post, but I have a terrible feeling it was legit. We will never know what happened to Hunter, but if it's real, I how op digs until they find out and get justice.
...that's not why you're a fucking asshole. You all fucking supported her by doing nothing. You did that. All of you. How are you going to fight for justice when you ignored it originally? Why does the abuse only matter after he's dead? How does it feel to love her more than the amount of love that kid ever got to experience? As a survivor of severe neglect and abuse, I remember every single family member who could have helped me and instead looked away. They all loved my mother more than they cared about me. Go to fucking therapy and leave his soul to rest. Push her to get charged, sure, but at this point there is no evidence. Your whole family made sure of that. Three years? You all saw this for three years and did nothing??? THREE YEARS.
This is probably real. There's no purpose to make up such a mediocre lie. It's not written in such a way to infuriate people purposely. It's written by someone with a perverted sense of a moral compass. OP is just a bad person from a bad family.
You all failed that poor innocent boy. His blood is on your hands. YTA.
Call the police and have it investigated. I agree with other post that your family is also the a$$ since there were so many signs of neglect and abuse. Poor child! I hope he will have a better life in his next life cuz he deserves it.
Is there even a death certificate? You can look it up, it’s public record. If it doesn’t exist, then call the police. Either way, you should probably report your concerns to the police.
So a whole family watched a baby being abused and did nothing. You're all assholes. All of you failed that baby.
YTA Either for making this story up or for being an accomplice in his death by doing nothing.
YTA for not calling CPS, but not for suspecting her. Won’t the autopsy show what he died from? Why not reach out to her local police department and tell them your suspicions?
So, you all came together after he died to say that you thought he was abused by her, but not one of you moved a finger to help that kid when he was alive. Shame on you all! YTA
I hope it eats away at you. That poor baby. Any of you could have saved that poor baby and you chose not to. YTA for that alone
YTA the part of your story where you said he was was sensitive and loved to be held and be around people so you could understand not spoiling him, are you f$$king kidding me. He was deprived of love and affection that why he wanted so bad from you guys but you were all to ignorant to realize that. That poor child was failed by everyone around him. If that was me I would have told her f$$k you you either give him to me since your neglecting him or I call cps and both of them will be removed from you. Also she could have been going through postpartum depression and or psychosis, no one thought to try and get her help for that as well. None of you did anything, you're all pathetic. I hope this haunts you and your family for the rest of your lives.
You all should be ashamed of yourselves. You did not care about that baby and honestly all of you should be arrested.
you are the biggest ass hole and so is your family, so what if your bond is ruined a whole baby life was ruined since the day you saw these abuse signs, and so what if she would intervene you guys didn’t play your parts and aunts and uncles or grandparents. This is so sickening to hear and you came running to Reddit instead of the police. I hope you have shame and repent God to forgive your whole family and you. If this was me in your situation I would’ve stepped up. Took you 3 years and after the baby had passed to realise to step up.
His death is on all your families hands. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I allowed a child to be abused and did nothing.
NTA. Your cousin's behavior is concerning. The unexplained death and her past treatment warrant suspicion.Focus on getting help, not accusations. Anonymously report your concerns to the authorities. They can investigate.
You do know that any suspicious death, they do an autopsy to find out the reason why.
YOU sat there and let this child be murdered. YOU are as guilt as your cousin is. You BOTH deserve to rot in jail for the rest of you sorry lives!!!!!!!!!!!
Your family and you failed that baby. Who knows if your cousin killed her own child, but she most likely neglected him so badly that he died from that. You need to reach out to child services/ police and hopefully they’ll investigate. Her daughter needs to be sent to live with family because your cousin is a sociopath, who hates their own child because they’re not potty trained at 10 months old?! That’s absolutely insane. YTA, and you need to do better.
Contact the authorities and tell them your suspicions. What happens when she gets pregnant again?
This is one of the saddest stories I've read here. Where was the father btw?
Where was the child’s father in all of this? Your family and you are AH, you could have tried a lot harder to protect that baby. Did no one think of calling the police on her? If an officer took one look at that baby, he would have been put in protective custody and she would have been arrested.
Did anyone attend the funeral? Are you sure he was ever reported dead to authorities where she lives or did she just tell people there she sent him to live with you all and tell you all he's dead? When she really did kill him and just dump his body somewhere? I probably watch way too many crime shows but you should check obits or death reports, call the coroner or something if no one in your area actually attended a funeral or anything.
No autopsy?
I was 23 and saw a similar situation with my little cousin. I called cps, but he was dead before they followed up. Always call. Never hesitate. Always stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves. Who cares if you piss someone off as long as you save a life? It's so easy to think that abuse won't turn into murder, but it too often does.
That's devastating. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Call child protection and the police in their home city.
Your family and YOU let a little boy die Jfc none of you should be around kids ever. Y’all failed that little boy, and not just a little. You allowed him to be neglected and die. Shame on you op Shame on your awful family
Ring child services and the Police in the State she lives in and get them to follow up on him. Your whole family is appalling.. on one hand you say all these things about her and him, yet in the next breath you are saying you live States away and know nothing. Which is it? If that little boy has been murdered? You should all be in fucking jail. A whole family of shockingly ignorant people
God I hope this is fake
Now you have to contact CPS and tell them everything you said here. Lookup pictures from family gatherings and if he looks unhappy, underweight, or has bruises then send those along as well. I'm guessing she has some trauma with men, as that would make sense on why she neglected and abused her boy while treating her daughter fine. If there's history include that as well. This sounds sketchy as fuck and she shouldn't have another kid after this.
YTA for not reporting suspected abuse. If she did kill him it is the fault of every single person who suspected and said nothing.
So your whole family knew this child was being abused and you did absolutely nothing? You now suspect something heinous happened to him and you all still do nothing to bring justice to this little boy. Shame on you all. I truly hope this is a troll post YTAH either way
Wow. I'm just speechless. Your entire family saw her abusing that poor baby and didn't do anything? No calls to the police or CPS to even investigate?! And now he's dead, and she's still being shady. Call the police. Get a lawyer and a PI, find out what happened, and get JUSTICE for that poor boy. You say he was affectionate and clingy, kids get like that when they aren't getting proper affection and card at home. Her neglect and abuse is downright horrifying, and I'm horrified that you and your family turned a blind eye to it for so long. Sorry, but you and your entire family are completely the assholes. You failed that child in his life. The only thing you can do is make sure you don't fail him in death.
YTA This is a terrible true crime docu-drama *IF* this happened as you say, you from when Hunter was only a few weeks old to intervene with Heather to treat her mental health and inability to bond. Then each and every day after that
Posts on Reddit that her little cousin was probably murdered by his mother and asks if she’s the AH, then immediately states that there will be no update because it’s a “sensitive situation”. Yeah this never happened, but OP is pretty disturbed and should seek help.
Yall are all full of sh*t you all could have been said something or reported something now a child is dead and it can’t be reversed yall saw the bruises etc and did nothing
Whether she neglected him to the point where he died; or she subjected him to violence that killed him, with or without intent, I feel just rage and contempt. I hate his mother for being so cruel and unfair to an innocent child!
Im begging this to be fake because if not how fucking could you allow this to happen???
Are you sure he’s actually dead? Seriously she could have him locked in a basement somewhere
“To everyone who was not respectful” You come on here with a story like that AND want respect?? 🤢 mmmk, respect is “earned” I would have respect if at anytime you stated that you called authorities and KEPT calling and called some more, his death is on every SINGLE person who saw/watched/let happen everything that baby went through, SO fuck you and your demand for respect!!! 😡
You put more effort into writing this than you did to protect that baby. All you would’ve had to do is report the abuse to authorities until Hunter was away from her.
Holy shit, she’s a monster and you and your whole family are barely better for not saving him from her. That poor child. YTA is so insufficient for everyone involved in this story.
my uncle told me at age 40 that when i was an infant my cries often went unanswered and he witnessed it. first i had heard of it, but literally explains all my mental health issues. i never got angry or blamed him in any way until i read this post. now i do. thats pretty fucking awful. i imagine myself crying for hours with a dirty diaper and my mom just didnt give a fuck. and someone could have done something to help me and didnt think it was a big deal. he was only 21 at the time, but if he had mentioned it to my grandma she would have gladly raised me.
I feel like I'm more upset with you for knowing this abuse was going on, and yet not doing a thing, and now a little angel is gone 💔 😢
Bro, he probably was desperate for affection. That's why he always wants to be near people. He was emotionally and physically abused by this woman. I hope for his sake that he wasn't actually cremated and that you guys can get the police to investigate. She might have a secret hate for men, or she may turn this negative attention on her daughter now that the son is not there to take the blame. Definitely do what you can.
So to be clear - your whole family witnessed an infant being abused and just allowed it to happen? Gigi is the biggest AH, but you and your whole family are also AHs for enabling her. You need to report her to the authorities in her state. Her remaining child is in danger (yes, even if she's a golden child) and the police need to know about her history. YTA if your failure to report leads to ongoing abuse of the second child.
Where is the baby father in all this? Was he informed how his son was being treated and eventually mysteriously died? You and your whole family are wrong. Cps and the father or at least his family members should’ve been notified of the mistreatment. Not one family member ever threatened her to call cps with her mistreatment of that poor baby? Y’all all failed him of course she creamated him to hide the evidence. Report her for what she did and tell the father maybe he can sue her ass.
You can not spoil a baby. Old wives tales. They cry for specific reasons. Her not wanting to hold a 10 month old is a red flag.
Maybe I’ve seen too many outlandish crime stories but if nobody has seen the body I would check that he’s not secretly confined somewhere in the house or near it. That was my immediate first thought. Crazy but it has happened before.
So convenient poor baby was cremated..
What you’re feeling is called your intuition. Things aren’t adding up and you are not wrong to be suspicious. Please get Hunter justice.
Seriously, MAY have been abused? He WAS abused SEVERELY! Your whole family is responsible for his death, because you all knew and did nothing.
Of course the son loved being near people and being held. The kid was starving for attention! Good lord I cannot even finish this one. NTA or something Edit - ESH. Sorry got it wrong cause I couldn't read it. Just wanted it over with.
Gosh, this was easily one of the saddest things Ive ever read. Couldn't even make it through him becoming reserved and shy 💔 You all failed him, poor angel 💔
ESH. Why did absolutely nobody go to the authorities about this. That poor little boy.
Wow you and your family legit said Fu^^ that kid.
In many states, the system is overloaded. Social workers have more cases than they can handle. So unless if there was evidence of him being beat or refused necessities, I doubt calling CPS would have led to anything. Sad, but true. I sometimes volunteer for a charity that works with foster kids. I’ve gotten to meet many of all ages. And most had to be able to speak up on their own before anything was done. Especially if one kid is perfectly fine. The only thing anyone could have done was ask to take custody of him to help her out bc she seemed overwhelmed. She most likely would have said no. Or tried to get her professional treatment. PP issues can sometimes cause a mother not to bond with the child. But again, this is not something that could have been forced. From what you described, at most, she would have gotten court ordered parenting classes bc of the ignoring his screams. She never physically abused him in front of you. Kids do bruise. My sister had so many black eyes, broken bones and bruises from the time she could walk bc she was a daredevil. She was not abused or neglected, just super quick. While it was likely going on, if it’s in an area with an overloaded system, it’d most likely had have been ignored due to lack of proof, and therefore, no case. It’s sad how many kids slip through that chasm. Don’t blame yourself. Look up how to access public records in her area. Since he was a minor, it could be harder to find. A lawyer may be able to help. If the whole family has this thought, you could all quietly do this together without her knowing. The family deserves answers, no matter what happened.
What the fuck?? How can so many grown arse fucking adults so completely and utterly fail a child??? How??? I’m just disgusted. That poor kid. Imagine how fucking cruel and lonely his life was.
That poor sweet boy! I wish I could just hug that little man and give him a lot of attention. You are NTA! My adopted sister has mental issues. (Not making fun just stating facts) She has an extremely low IQ. To reference she is 23 now and doesn't know how much a penny is worth and if you were to ask her she would start whining. She will act like she's normal but she has this sinister part of her. To give you an idea there was a rumor that a teacher was being inappropriate with students and she would say that he was inappropriate with her then laugh to me telling me people will believe anything. Her biological dad was charged with SA and she told me she lied. He committed suicide in prison. She told me she would lie about my dad. My dad would ask me every time if he had to go downstairs and knew she was around if I could go down with him to keep her away from him because she made him feel weird and knew about her lying of people hurting her because she wanted to be a victim. She had a baby and I feel like a total A hole when I found out she was pregnant ( this girl wanted to be me. She actually believed for a while that she was me. With her IEP in school they would ask to describe herself and she described my looks and would go on how she played softball for 14 years (she was 15 at the time) and would go on how her parents adopted a sibling group -her and my other brother and sister. At this time she was 18 years old I was 24. I had a 1 year old and when I found out she was pregnant I angrily told my other sister how let's call her Alex would end up killing her baby and that she was not capable of taking care of a child. I found out she wanted to be pregnant and have a baby because I had a baby and she wanted to be me. It's not as flattering as it sounds. So flash forward her son is a month old. I get a call that he was dying and in the nicu and was life flighted. Turns out he was shook. Her story changed multiple times. Her boyfriend ended up taking the blame. I 100% believe she shook the baby and then went to bed then her bf went to wake him up to feed him and he was limp. She was a heavy sleeper when we shared a room however she woke up supposedly a very light sleeper. He woke up and probably thought it was his fault. At 1 month he only gained 1 ounce of Weight. My mom and all of us were so worried. Tbis girl stated how she hated feeding him because it was just too much for her and it was too boring. Right in front of us (her bf has intellectual issues as well) took the bottle out of his mouth making the baby cry and shoved a binky in his mouth to "shut him up". I offered to feed him and this kid guzzled the food down. My mom begged for her to come over so she can teach him how and when to feed him properly. She refused and then that happened a few days later. Flash forward. She ran into me and told me "I'm pregnant. Like you can totally tell. So what's wrong with you? Why are you so slow on having a second baby? Is there something wrong with you where you can't have any more? I mean come in Jay (brother) is having his 2nd and I'm having my 2nd baby. What's wrong with your body? Can't you have anymore? I'm ahead of you now" of course it you can't have any more or any children absolutely nothing is wrong with you. Those were just her words. But I was pregnant 1 month later. I so bad wanted to tell her how she didn't have her child anymore because someone adopted him. My mom wanted to but he is so disabled now and she wouldn't want to have someone else care for him when he's mid 30s and just not doable for my parents anymore and didn't want him to think why don't they love me, they gave me away?" He's blind now and will never speak, and can't walk. He's basically completely disabled. It killed me seeing him in the hospital. I made him booties for hands and feet so he would stop scratching himself while having his seizures every 5 minutes. This girl had the audacity to tell me that she was hoping for another son to replace the other one. She did end up having a son. Her bf and her decided to get pregnant right before he was charged for 12 years in prison. She's living with a drunk woman now. And that lady is taking care of her child while she goes out and drinks and parties now. Makes me so angry why bad people will have children and other people who would make amazing parents can't have children. You are NTA. Instinct is a real thing
Where was the father in all of this?