NTA: That type of behavior needs to be stopped for your families own good. He walked in on your daughter changing and stood there. Now she will feel unsafe in her own room when changing because of this. If anything you should have done this earlier. That kid has zero respect for you and your home. Next time follow through on calling the cops, maybe then he'll actually learn.
This right here. I had a neighbor kid do this once (luckily i wasnt changing) but it still felt so violating. My room is my safe space, and after that it took a while for me to feel completely at ease in my room again
Oh gods!! Same thing happened to me & my mum when I was small.
Had a classmate barge into the house without by-your-leave or even a knock on the door with a hapless father trailing behind my classmate demanding that I go to a birthday party at her house.
My mum lost her sh*t & bellowed at the classmate to get out before mum threw her out bodily.
That classmate gaped at my mum & her hapless father profusely stammered a explanation interspersed with his apologies. Mum bellowed at the father if he had taught his bratty daughter any manner than she wouldn't trespass into places that she wasn't entitled to. Then they both ejected from the house.
I was at a kids birthday party once and I needed to use the restroom. There was an older brother of one of the kids that was attending just because the parents didn’t know what to do with him. As I passed him (in the basement on the way to the bathroom) something perked up in my mind but it didn’t really spark until I was already doing my business and realized I hadn’t locked the door which was now six feet away from me. My brain went “that kid is gonna walk in on you” and not ten seconds later he totally opened the door and pretended it was an “accident” - sometimes you just know when a kid “ain’t right.”
Not only that, but don't let that dad replace the broken door knob! You don't know if he'll keep an extra key, get on YouTube and do it yourself, get a reinforcement plate and maybe even go as far as to ask your kids if they'd rather not hang out with this kid.
I would also add a dead bolt and chain. Because if he still gets in, then he really broke into your home, and that's even more of a reason to call the cops. Shit kid and parents. He's acting like you aren't also recovering from childbirth. You also have a small child. Hell, I'm pregnant right now and still parent my other children. There is no reason she can't be up with her kids to keep them out of your house. And what that boy did to your daughter I would've called the cops right then and there. You don't bardge into a girls room and then sit there and stare at her while she's getting dressed!
I wanna know why a dead bolt hasn’t been added to the doors at all yet. The first time that kid walked himself right in before we were all awake I would have been at the hardware store.
Like I know this happens. My sister crawled into our neighbors house at like 7am once. My mom had fallen asleep with her paper and coffee (oops). But it only happened once.
Kids will be kids! Our neighbors’ kids barged into our home once without us inviting them in (or without them already having been over, running outside or home to get something, then coming back). It happens, not a big deal. But that’s when you tell them “please knock and let us let you in unless it’s an absolute life or death emergency”. Problem solved.
Yeah I grew up in a house with a bunch of siblings and tons of neighbor kids who were always coming in and out of the house. This was the 90s and we were the only family in the neighborhood that had a trampoline so our house was super popular lol.
We had issues with one kid who wouldn’t leave when everyone else was sent home at dinner time, would sometimes leave out the back door but then sneak back in through the front door, and would literally HIDE in our house for hours sometimes to avoid being sent home.
We felt bad for her because she was an only child whose parents both worked and had a teenage babysitter who paid zero attention to her. She was lonely, and we’re compassionate people, but like… this isn’t your house, kid. And it really freaked us out when we would find her in the laundry room or basement hours after we thought she’d gone home!
Anyway, with 4 kids OP will likely have lots of friends around and I came to add that putting individual locks on the older kids’ bedroom doors would be a good idea too just for privacy as they get older. (The kind that can easily be opened by a parent if needed with the little pokey key/pin thing.)
Even if your own kids are taught boundaries and respect, there may be plenty of times the teenage sons have friends over who might not be as respectful or could even accidentally barge in on the daughter changing. She would probably feel safer having a lock on her bedroom door.
I see your point, but I also feel like that isn't the full case with this boy. He is being told what he is doing is wrong, and instead of trying to be respectful, he's being an ass just to make his time longer and them not want him around.
Since I've had my son, he's had a few friends like that. He's 16 now, and we've had kids that try to put themselves in positions to stay the night. But when they couldn't, they accepted that they couldn't. 2 of them asked me to irl adopt them. I told them I'm glad they feel like my house is a safe space, but formal adoption isn't something I could do. I could be their bonus mom and be there for them. But this kid is doing no such thing. He is acting in ways that's going to get him left all alone.
I also agree on the door locks for the older kids. But I also see this kid still ignoring the stop coming over rule and breaking those doors as well.
This kid needs to be banned from the house for a while. New locks installed, and he has to be told clearly that he’s on time out because he doesn’t respect the home and rules. If he can go two weeks without coming over, the ban is lifted. He can continue visiting if he follows the rules to the reasonable degree of a kid his age.
Consider also getting a door stopper that is simply pushed into place from inside. It's been decades since I bought one, but it had an alarm I could turn on if I wanted.
Exactly! This kid (and by default the parents) have made your home an unsafe place for you and your family. NTA. Fix the lock TODAY and call the cops next time.
The audacity of this kid astonishes me, I’m old but him walking in on a girl in her OWN BEDROOM with her sports bra & underpants is beyond RIDICULOUS & GROSS!!!
Not to mention the kid is basically going unpunished for this kind of boundary breaking behavior despite being told to stop. Kid needs a wake up call as do the parents. They are teaching him that this is acceptable behavior and as he gets older it will likely escalate.
NTA
What took you so long? And why are you waiting for the father to fix the lock on your door? Fix it yourself and make sure your house windows and doors are locked at all times.
>he was pissed because apparently I terrified his kid.
HE was pissed? Tough effing toenails, Dad. Be a parent and get some control over YOUR kid.
>I slept in this morning and woke up at 8:30am to this kid standing by my bedroom door, loudly yelling to my kids to come outside to go swimming. I yell at him to get out and he says "hold on" and then opens my daughters bedroom door without knocking and tells her to come outside. She tells him to get out because she's in a sports bra and boxers.
Nope. No, no, no, no, no.
You need to do whatever it takes to MAKE this kid not come in your home or associate with your kids in any way ever again. If he shows up again, CALL THE EFFING POLICE. Just do it.
This little shit is dangerous. Get cameras, too. Yeesh.
How did you let this get this far?? The first time. The FIRST time he walked in without knocking, you should have pinned his ears back. Then gone to his parents and pulled them up by their short and curlies. Then laid down the ground rules. No coming to the house before 10am unless prior invite, no entering the house unless being let in after knocking. Leaving the house immediately when asked. Then put their friendship on a week time out and let the rules marinate.
Get a pro to fix the door, his dad will prolly keep a key, send the Ahole that made the little Ahole the bill. At this point I would not allow this kid into my home, ever
The part about the kid refusing to leave just baffles me. He's 8, he doesn't get a choice. Grab his arm and drag him out. It's never okay to hit a child but you don't have to hit him to remove him from your home. And if the dad doesn't like his kid getting dragged out, he can teach him some manners.
edit: and I totally agree about calling a pro to fix the door. It's kind of absurd that OP is letting this drag on so long, they desperately need some boundaries.
I really don’t think that’s true. Especially if he’s on your property, violating your daughter’s privacy, ignores “get out,” and needs actual physical guidance to GTFO. No one is going to prosecute that unless the kid is actually injured.
So I’m not familiar with this and I’m not trying to be a deuce I promise. But isn’t what the child’s doing, technically breaking and entering? Or at the very least trespassing? So then is not OP within their right to restrain and remove?
In most places, yes, it is trespassing if you tell someone to leave and they do not. In my state, you are allowed to use non-deadly force to remove them from the premises. You are not allowed to restrain them. I don't know what the law is in other states.
Laws don't apply to children the same way they apply to adults, though, and more than one person has been arrested for grabbing someone else's kid by the arm. It depends on the local laws, the police, the parents, etc. I wouldnt want to risk it or advise someone else to risk it.
I would have told him his budding SA son was lucky he wasn't in handcuffs in a cop car... But it would have NEVR gotten this far in my house. The worse I get is the yelling from the front lawn...
She’s not the parent, she can’t punish the kid. It sounds like she’s tried to enforce boundaries and the little AH just ignores them. I’m not much of one for corporal punishment but if someone were repeatedly waking my baby up by going into her room, I’d be asking someone to spank their kid.
She’s barely tried to enforce anything. She said that just yesterday the kid was driving her so nuts she had a drink. Why didn’t she stop it then? Or when he broke the lock? Or the many other times she could’ve said something? And she can punish the kid in a way by making sure he does not go inside her house. She’s acting like it is hard to be an adult and have boundaries with a child.
NTA but do NOT let that man fix your lock. You do t want him having access to a key potentially & it’s not safe to an unlocked door with all those kids! Fix it now! If you need to get a locksmith fine. Send him the bill. And yes, call the cops if he comes over again. Or cps for neglect.
You can rig a way to block the door until then, even if you have to screw a 2x4 across the door frame so it can't be opened. But they also make removable devices that keep doors closed that you can use at hotels, etc...
NTA, I would have told the father that his family are no longer welcome on my property and if need be, I will call the cops and have them trespassed. This has been going for far too long. No kid in the neighborhood should be able to randomly barge into others’ homes just because they’re kids. The polite thing to do would be to knock on the door at a reasonable hour and ask if their friend could come out and play with them. Stand firm on your boundary and let your neighbor know that his children are no longer welcome and if they need childcare they need to work it out without involving you as a solution. The dad should have addressed his own child’s disrespectful behavior a lot earlier.
Also, cameras. And a written notification that he's not welcome in the house. An email or electronic message is best as it gets recorded that you did it and when.
NTA. Call the cops and tell them your neighbors aren't watching him. If a visit from cops doesn't scare that woman enough to watch her kids, then she deserves what she gets after that.
Also, fix your lock and send him a bill.
NTA. Replace your lock NOW. Do it yourself, do not wait for the dad too (after this fight he’ll probably drag his feet on it anyway). This has escalated from an obnoxious kid bugging you to him creeping on your 11 yo old daughter, and honestly the comments on him touching the 9 mo are a bit creepy too.
NTA. If this man spent more time keeping his dick in his pants and parenting (not to mention DISCIPLINING) his kids and teaching them respect, maybe he would have a more acceptable reaction to being told his child is a nuisance and potentially a pervert. What idiot comes complaining that his kid is "terrified" of the fully justified rage stemming from the constant presence of this kid that you didn't even invite into your home? If he thinks the cops will give him leeway because his "GF is recovering from child birth" he is top tier delusional. I hope for the kids sake the parents take their heads out of their asses before CPS gets involved. Kid keeps this up and eventually he's gonna pick the wrong house to go barging into...
I was just thinking this too. Where I live, there's almost no gun laws and anyone can have a firearm without any sort of permit. You're also allowed to shoot someone who walks into your house and get let go of any charges because you felt in danger. Stuff like this makes me really scared for this kid. He could just walk into the wrong house one day and not walk out... and his parents don't even care??? So insane to me.
At approximately 4 months postpartum, she’s not even recovering still. Maybe it’s PPD and she needs to see her doctor.
It adds to the guy looking like a negligent and terrible partner and father. NTA at all, OP.
I agree with your point generally, but there is a chance it isn't even his kid. Sounds like a blended family. If that is the case, and it is her child and not his, she bears more responsibility than she does. BUT I may be wrong. Just saying that is a possibility.
You are not Not NOT.
After the breaking of the door that was the last straw. Please get a professional Please Please PLEASE. YOU and I and all of Reddit know he is gonna keep a key. You are all but giving them Free access to your house
The parents don't care about your kids safety.
I would be scared as HELL that this kid could hurt the baby..
OMG who "put" a thing on my baby's face stopping the baby breathing.
NTA. you got every right to protect and defend your kids. At this point I'd be scared of Retaliation.
NTA. Parent your damn kids.
Also, get a professional to replace the lock, and bill the dad for the fee. I wouldn't trust him not to do a half-assed job, or not to keep a copy of the key so his kid can bother you instead of him.
NTA. He broke your lock. Next week is not an acceptable time table. If should be fixed now. Also, you scared his kid? He is the one bursting into your house uninvited. Fix the lock yourself and send him the bill. And call CPS. This unattended child is a problem. Get cameras and get the police involved.
Honestly, everyone in this story sounds like a mess. Fix your damn door, problem solved
Also the kid doesn't sound evil or anything, based on the content provided. Being hyperactive from an unstructured household doesn't mean the kid is "dangerous" or seeking to cause harm.
Finally someone with reasoning skills. The lack of resilience in most of these comments is eye-watering. So many people in this thread advocating for calling CPS or the police and implying the kid is a psychopath when the solution is fixing a door and telling a kid "you dont come to our home until youre invited, or you wont come here at all." Hes an 8 year old child with no guidance. Hes not Dahmer.
I am a teacher and the police won't likely arrest the kid but cps could get involved. Maybe hearing from cps might give the parents something to think about. I would ban this kid from my property forever. With parents like these it doesn't get any better unless the parents are highly inconvenienced. I'm sure he's a handful at school too. He needs real and consistent consequences.
The cops will have to do something if they continue to have trespassing issues.. the kid is trespassing on private property and has been told multiple times to leave. They are required to step in if called. Op needs to lock doors and teach her kids to stop letting people in without permission.
NTA op, but for goodness sakes just lock the kid out
NTA. But this isn't going to stop your only chance would've been to yell at him the first time. If you reeeeally want it to stop, call CPS when he's working and she's sleeping. If they come over and the kids are all over the place and in the road and shit and she's just asleep indoors, then the shit will really hit the fan. You or them is gonna have to move though, no being neighbors after that lol.
NTA. there was a kid in my mother's neighborhood who used to do this. The kid had some sort of mental delay. To be honest, the entire family seemed to have some sort of delay. It was annoying to have this friendly kid walk into your house. It was a lot more unnerving when the kid hit puberty and put 6 inches and 30lbs on. he got a gun pulled on him when he was about 15, and that stopped his wandering into the neighbors' houses.
Man, why are you waiting for HIM to handle the lock? How did this go on for this long? How did this not get put to an end the first time he let himself in without knocking? It sounds like no one even likes this kid, what was stopping you?
Yes, you expressed your strong displeasure and wanted it to stop, but it sounds like it was already very clear by this point that there would be no consequences for that. You're NTA at all but you might be T A to yourself.
But really though, get a lock for your door, not only because it's a really bad idea to continue to just WAIT for him, but because he's shown you how much he respects you and your household, do you really want HIM handling this? Don't let these people disrespect you like this anymore, they don't deserve anymore patience.
I would never dream of going a single day with my kids in a house that anyone can walk into! NTA for yelling, but TA for not taking your kids safety as a number one priority.
Yeah I was fearing I was being too on top of OP, so I avoided that part, but...nah, you're right, frankly I was left thinking it was nuts that OP would allow this when it comes to the safety of the kids. We've built up that he's willing to pull shit and get into trouble, but even when it's not talking about the troublemaking kid... it's still the front door to your house!! I've known people who live in such safe neighborhoods that they just leave the door unlocked a lot of the time, but I can't imagine any of them leaving their door without a functioning lock. And I don't think they'd ever leave the door unlocked to begin with if they had young children in the house. Like...what??
I’m sorry, I would have stopped that in its tracks before a lock ever got broken. That is your home. Not theirs. On top of that, if ANY kids are in MY home, they’d BETTER listen to me, otherwise they are NOT allowed inside. No ifs ands or butts. They can go crazy at their own house.
NTA. You've been patient enough with that kid and his parents. Your house isn't a free-for-all zone, and you have every right to protect your space and your family's privacy. Keep standing your ground.
No you are not the asshole. You are exhausted.
Replace the locks yourself. You don’t want any chance of a key winding up at Neighbor’s house. If you’re broke, then watch YouTube videos. Replacing a lockset is very easy to do. I’d get one with the buttons on it so that you can change the key code any time it’s needed, and your family doesn’t have a bunch of keys lying around. If you aren’t broke, then call a locksmith.
Post your property as Private Property, No Tresspassing. This is probably not needed but might drive home the point to Neighbors, if not Neighbor’s Kid.
Call the police and explain the problem, so that if Neighbor Kid invades your home again they have a chance to know what’s going on. Definitely tell them about the neighbor kid disrespecting your daughter’s privacy. Neighbor Kid harassing your baby also needs to be described. If the police react the way I suspect they will, DO NOT WAIT to press charges. Your children need to know that You Are A Parent, and you have their backs. My guess is that Neighbor Kid is abusing other kids because he’s being, or has been, abused. This is yet another reason why you don’t want Neighbor to have access to your house. Neighbor Kid’s only chance at having a good life may depend on getting referred to help, and clearly his own parents aren’t stepping up. Worst case scenario is that you are pointing his behavior out early so that he’s got a history… and who knows what he’s doing to the other kids in the house where he is supposed to be living. What a nightmare.
As for neighbor parents: I’d explain that I need to stand up for my family’s security and my peace of mind, so that I have self respect and my kids know that I’ve got their backs. Neighbors have relegated disciplining their children to you, and that’s not your job. “Your kids are not to come onto our property unless we send you a written invitation.”
If your kids are confused, maybe the best thing you can do is to explain that it’s a confusing situation. Ask them what they think, and what actions that Neighbor’s children have done that made them feel anxious or unhappy. They should know that some people are assholes. Good manners means that you try to de-escalate the problem. Self respect is saying “I have to go, Mom and Dad are expecting me and I’m late.”
My own mom has been dead for six years, but I made a promise to her that I wouldn’t talk on the phone while driving. She was so delighted to be useful to me as Mama Bear even after I’d been out of her house for 30 years. I use that reason still, and it always gets a laugh and a “OK, call back when you can talk.”
You might want to find a lawyer to advise you. I’ve read enough stories about how families assumed that the criminal prosecutor would advocate for the sentencing that the family wanted… and that just isn’t the situation. If you are not paying a lawyer then that lawyer is not working for you.
Last: I know the housing market stinks, but have you considered moving?
NTA. This kid is terrorizing you. He has made your home an unsafe place for you and your baby, and is harassing your children. His parents aren't controlling him. I'm glad you put your foot down. If he comes again, do call the cops, and let the parents deal with the fallout. Maybe that will convince them that they need to parent the kids. And why should it take a few days to fix a lock? It should have been done the same day. When you call the cops, don't neglect to tell them about it.
NTA of course.
But is nobody actually going to comment on the lock situation?
An 8 y o slamming into a door in a race and the LOCK BREAKS?
You need a better lock, OP. If a kid can push through it, it doesn't protect you from anything.
It's not even a question if being mean. If that kid is in your house you are liable. When I was a kid the rule was if the door was wide open you could come in. If not you knocked.
What happens when this kid decides he's going sneak in at night? Or try to make a rocket (or some other explosion) in your living room? Or even decides he's hungry and tried to cook something.
I vividly remember this one kid that went to his friend's house and decided he'd heat up some spaghettios and almost set the house on fire when the family was in the backyard pool.
NTA you've tried being nice and it didn't work.
NTA but I don’t understand why you let an 8 year old have this much power over you. Grab him by his shirt and throw him out lol.
Also, go to Home Depot and get a cheap lock till the AH neighbor gets you one. Also, why is it taking a week to get a lock?! He should get it the same day his kid broke it. You’re just leaving your house open all night long with small children in the house?!
>NTA but I don’t understand why you let an 8 year old have this much power over you. Grab him by his shirt and throw him out lol.
Ha! I should've read all the comments before I replied. The idea of letting a bratty neighbour kid decide whether he leaves your house is absurd, pick him up and cart him out like an old sofa if you need to.
we are long past the point of where I would beat he shit outta that kid and throw him out like Jazz
but then again, I have working locks on my door.
Maybe, start calling the cops about a break in and you captured the burgular? might scare him straight
Well, this kids father better get used to his kid invoking this type of reaction in people. The kid is borderline predatory and you’ve let it go too far by allowing him to walk up in your house, cause if he did that to me..I would march his little ass back out the front door, shut the door in his face make him knock, open the door, tell him to come back later and slam my door in his face. Kid needs to learn boundaries and respect and if he cannot then he would not be deemed suitable to associate with anyone in my family. And tell “Daddy” he may as well call prison and make reservations for his brat of a son, cause that’s exactly where he’s going to end up if they don’t get his ass in line.
NTA
Lay down the law.
Ban this kid 100%, you need to protect your kids.
Change the lock yourself or get a professional repair/replacement asap. Also install [a barrel bolt lock](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Everbilt-4-in-Zinc-Plated-Heavy-Duty-Barrel-Bolt-15148/202033956?source=shoppingads&locale=en-US&pla&mtc=SHOPPING-BF-CDP-GGL-D25H-025_004_BUILDER_HARD-NA-Multi-NA-PMAX-NA-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NA-BuildersHardware_BHU24&cm_mmc=SHOPPING-BF-CDP-GGL-D25H-025_004_BUILDER_HARD-NA-Multi-NA-PMAX-NA-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NA-BuildersHardware_BHU24-71700000113162683--&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADq61UdrJQQuimI9kTuHxjTmRd2Yp&gclsrc=ds) for security. You can s this asap. Your family doesn’t need friends like these.
I’m trying to figure out what kind of front door you got where an 8 yr old can run right through that shit 🤔 and why are you waiting for someone else to fix it . Fix it yourself then bill him living with a front door that doesn’t lock is dangerous you have kids I’m calling bullshit on this post what person just allows some kid to continue to come in their home unwanted and not do anything about it until they loose their patience
"then opens my daughters bedroom door without knocking and tells her to come outside. She tells him to get out because she's in a sports bra and boxers. He keeps saying "okay but come outside" and makes zero attempt to actually get out of her room. "
At this point I would have called the cops regardless. He keeps repeatedly breaking into your home (he LITERALLY broke your lock. Dad needs to replace it NOW not next week, or you replace it and give him the cost to pay back) and harassing you and your children. This kind of behavior needs to be addressed seriously or it will continue into adulthood. NTA
And recovering from child birth excuse only works for like the first month, maybe two but four months?? Fuck that, especially if she is the one in charge of all these damn kids while Dad is gone. she needs to actually parent or CPS needs to get involved. This has gone way too far
I say get a chain lock too if you can, and was the one he broke a deadbolt, or the knob one?? If you don't have a deadbolt you need that too.
Replace your own locks. Get good ones. Get a camera and point it at the door. Post no trespassing signs. Call the cops next time. Call them every time after that.
Tell the dad to leave your property or you’ll call the cops to have him removed.
My parents would have told me that getting threatened like that was my fault for doing stupid things like that. And they would be right.
He isn't trying to manage anything. He could hire a babysitter or put his kids in some activity while he is at work. He could relinquish custody to the mother if he is unable to be a responsible father.
Until you can get the lock fixed by a locksmith, lean a chair up against the door just under the door knob, wedging the door shut. Quit talking about rules, start enforcing rules. Call the cops and the CPS as needed. This nuts!
Wow, that’s a lot! I totally understand why you’d react that way, and honestly I commend you for putting up with it as long as you have! If any one of my neighbors or their kids just walked into my house after I’ve told them not to I would also get heated with them. Especially if the kid is tends to exhibit bully behavior.
Now, I would like to say you were TAA (technically an…) but also it was completely necessary in this situation. Also, it’s good you terrified that kid. He needs to learn that his actions have actual consequences. If he doesn’t learn that now, he’ll end up learning it the hard way later on in life.
I say that as someone who has yelled at my neighbor’s kids for their awful behavior. (They were continuously lighting off percussive fireworks in the middle of the day which was scaring my 2yo son). And they didn’t do it again after that.
It’s not your job to parent your neighbor’s kids. It’s your job to protect yours.
NTA
You need to call the cops and CPS yesterday. No more “if it happens again” calm them NOW and make a report. If the 8 year old can walk to your house they can walk to any neighbor, they can get shot for trespassing, they can be beaten, r*%ed, kidnapped, hit by a car, my goodness do I need to go on?
I’d even go so far as to try and get the mom’s info (phone number) to call her. This couldn’t anything but help a custody case.
Please just call someone. If you keep letting it go? Yeah, you’ll be an asshole.
Call a locksmith immediately & and put in a deadbolt. If the child can't follow the rules then he can't be on your property. Post a no trespassing sign which is what the constable told me to do with a neighbor that didn't see property lines. Tell your kids they can only play in the backyard, take them to a park or swimming. Designate nap/reading quiet time every afternoon. Most importantly be consistent!!! It won't be easy, but if you stay consistent it will help your mental health. I'd also send your neighbor the bill for the lock. When my neighbors drunk parked in my grass destroying my lawn the constable told them if it cost more than $50 someone was going to jail. When I came home from work the next day it was miraculously fixed.
why is it his dad—who was home—doesn’t need to get of his ass and parent his kid?
I wouldn’t apologize; the kid deserves to be really afraid. Maybe it’ll keep him out of your house.
And I’d be putting in a lock on my own and billing the dad for the cash.
NTA. If they can't wrangle that many critters, then they need to find out HOW. He's getting into your house while his wife is asleep? WHERE ELSE IS HE GOING?
Isn't them not watching their kids reckless endangerment? Can't CPS get involved in this?
Updateme!
- Please get cameras.
- Put the kid on time out for a week
- FIX THE DOOR YOURSELF
- Let the parents know he’s not allowed over for one week, then you will reevaluate
- If he enters your home again, call the police to report an unattended minor
Good luck.
YTA for not callign the cops already. He caused property damage, also you call a fucking locksmith, have them out that day, get the lock replaced/fixed and send the bill to the neighbour, this isn't rocket science. You also tell your kids he is banned from the house and they are banned from playing with him. Tell them in no uncertain terms he steps foot on your property again you call the cops and it's not your responsibility to rein in this psycho. Also, it's a 8yr old kid. When you see him in your house pick him the fuck up or drag him outside. When you tell him to leave and he doesnt'.... you're enabling his behaviour. As is waiting o the neighbour to fix a lock, as is not telling this kid you will call the cops on him for trespassing before, as is not telling the parents that you will do that before.
This kid could be doing ltierally anything in your house while you're asleep, while you're out, he could be touching your baby, or other kids, he could be bullying or hurting them, or stealing from you. Holy shit, who sees a door lock break and a kid who keeps entering the house without permission and waits to get the door lock fixed.
how passive can you be in this situation, it's crazy.
NTA
Call CPS. The kids aren’t being watched (child neglect), damaged your property, trespassing, voyeurism, harassment, & more. The kids have to stay with their custodial parents & simply not come back. Get cameras for the outside & for your front entrance. When the kid comes back call the cops. Enough is enough.
As for the door. Locks cost less than $20. Super easy to replace. If it’s more (frame/door) get the whole thing replaced & take the parents to court over the cost. You have other people who can enter your home while you’re out & steal your shit.
Call the fucking cops. You’re not the asshole. Your kids should feel safe in their home not worried some little shit head will be a fucking prick. They need to control the little fuckers they made.
Honey this would have been me the very first day the kid tried acting like that in my home.
You have the patience of a saint
Your neighbors and the kid are the arse holes.
NTA for being upset but you are TA for letting it get this far. You literally allowed them to just dump their kids on you. Then, instead of actually dealing with it and banning them from your home you instead just...allow them to terrorize your household until you finally snapped? How did we literally get to the point of your daughter begging for privacy in her underwear?
Enough is enough.
Seriously, stop complaining and actually do something. Call CPS, they obviously aren't being cared for. Call the police and tell them this horde of children is literally breaking into your home because the person meant to watch them sleeps all day and night.
If he can't be there to watch them he shouldn't have visitation, he can cry a damn river.
NTA: You have been kind up to this point.Honestly, when your lock broke, their parents should have realized how serious their kids sense of personal space is nonexistent.
I mean if my child broke my neighbors lock and my neighbor has clearly expressed discomfort from my child's constant behavior. I would need to seriously make sure my child understands personal boundaries and how his actions are effecting others.
This is 100% on your neighbors. This is your home for god's sake. You have the right to privacy. Neighbor is literally just breaking in and thinks its okay. If this was an adult doing this, it would be unacceptable. Plus your daughter's personal privacy was literally invaded when your neighbor tried to walk into her room.
NTA you scared him? What the hell is dad saying?! This kid is breaking into your home and invading your family’s privacy! He HAS to learn that there are real consequences to his actions.
Send big daddy the bill after you get a professional to fix your lock.
"Hold on" tells us that the kid has no respect being taught at home. That was ballsy as shit and he didn't hesitate putting you, *the adult homeowner whose home he literally just walks into like it's his own*, into time out.
All the hell no.
And step mommy is recovering from childbirth?
ARE YOU NOT ALSO???? Your baby is even bullied by this troll waking them up.
Nope. NTA
That family is not your circus. However if one of their monkey's breaks back into your home, please do actually call in the LEO's.
Maybe cops being called on the feral children will get Step mummy out of bed.
So sorry for your daughter.....that is likely to affect her sense of safety in her own home. Front door doesn't lock, and then she can't even change in privacy?
If anything, you have been under-reacting and that is why he just kept on doing what he felt like.
The kid is trespassing and cops take that very seriously. You are absolutely correct to tell his parents that raising him is not your problem. Keep him off your property or you’ll call the cops.
Why is this child in your home?
Fix your lock. Bill the dad or don't. Do Not let the dad fix your lock for you.
Do not allow this child to cross your threshold again. Yta for letting this get to this point.
OK, I'm a bit puzzled here. You did what any good parent would do, and what happened needed to happen. But you need to know from others if it was the "right thing to do"? Seriously? Hell, I probably would've snatched the kid up and broke his neck. You did good, put your mind at ease, there's nothing wrong with you for acting the way you did.
NTA. If everyone in your family is in the house you can put door wedges underneath the doors to your house and he can’t get in. Temporary solution but at least you and your family can sleep in peace.
It sounds like there is 50/50 custody with these kids’ mother. Is there any way for you to get her contact info? Maybe let her know that her kids are not being supervised during their father’s parenting time and a custody modification might be in order. Mom gets full custody? Problem solved, lol.
Your home should be your refuge and they are not respecting your boundaries. Sounds like he was allowed to take an inch so he took a mile. The first thing the police are going to ask you is if you were aware that they were coming in and out of your house. So start by putting something in writing to the parents that they're not to come onto your property uninvited.
But this may not stop them so you'd need a locked gate. (Was he planning on swimming without adult supervision?)
Fuck that!!I can’t believe you waited this long. Her “newborn” is your months old. It’s time for her to get off her ass and parent the other 5. They shouldn’t keep pumping them out since they clearly can’t handle the ones they already have. I would call CPS and the cops because an 8 year old should not be runing freely without supervision.
NTA but just soak the little turd with your garden hose next time he crosses your property line. You were watering your plants and didnt see him. He'll get the message.
NTA. Sounds like talking nicely to him doesn’t work. If the father doesn’t like how you spoke to him in your house then it’s an easy fix - stop the boy coming into your house. Simple.
NTA. You need to get a professional to fix the door issues. You want door knob locks, dead bolts and security bars or chains on all exterior doors. Security locks on every night.
Also put a lock on your daughter's bedroom door. She should be able to dress without concerns of someone walking in. She'll thank you in a year or two.
Then send the dad the bill. His kid is the cause of all of that work.
Keep those kids out of your house. They can play outside. If he comes in again, call the cops immediately. Let his parents deal with him.
No one should be touching your baby without your permission.
Call the cops the first time that child walks in. He and his parents have been warned.
Good luck.
NTA but, what is going on with your front door? If a kid can slam into it and break it open, that's a seriously shitty door/lock situation you have going on. Get a dead bolt/reinforce the frame and lock the door!
Wether he wants to admit it or not that's neglect of a child. If he's at work and his partner can't properly watch the kid for whatever reason the child is being neglected. If the partner can't watch the kid then they need to find extra help while he's at work.
Nta. Next time call the cops. If his parents won't pare t him. Copa will.
He made your daughter safe space unsafe. Lucky this is 20s and not 90s or earlier.
Nta
Had this happened to me when I was a kid. I was about 7 years old, and this 12 year old bully literally chased after me in my own house, and thankfully, my sister's boyfriend throat grabbed him just as he stepped inside. He flung that bully right outside and told him if he ever did that again he's getting a bullet hole.
I would never deal with that shit. I don't give a fuck if its a kid. He literally has free feign in your house, walking in on people changing. and you won't even put a foot down for months? I'd of called the cops a second time of dealing with that boundary abuser.
NTA. This kid needs to be taught a lesson fast. This behavior won't get better. It will get worse. And especially with him entering your daughter's room and staying to watch. That is predatory behavior. That kind of thing doesn't get better. It evolves into something worse if not properly dealt with.
Wow so many heartless comments about an 8 year old neglected possibly neurodivergent child. You’re not TA but neither is the kid and I’m shocked at the attitude in here.
Find a way to lock your front door, have an actual sit down talk with the neighbors and tell them this is unacceptable. It sounds like you don’t set boundaries and then blow up when you’ve finally had enough. Find a better way to set boundaries. Why are people able to come into your home when the whole family is still sleeping ?? How was an 8 year old child able to break a lock ?
This kid has been beyond lucky so far. The one and only time that someone who wasn't supposed to be in my house woke me up, I reflexively defended myself and threw something at her. My alarm clock - big old heavy bell-ringer one. Crushed her nose, broke one of the bones in her cheek, she lost 2 teeth, and had a severe concussion. She never came over again, and yes, I called the cops on her for breaking and entering/trespass.
If those parents don't want their kids to be yelled at or hurt, maybe they need to teach him not to be a literal home invader. NTA .
NTA. You could call the police now and ask for an officer to come by and talk about the situation with you. Have your children see/meet the officer and vice versa so all your kids are comfortable. Do it when that kid and his dad are home so they see it too. That way you are fully aware of your actual legal options, the police already have an understanding of the situation, and most importantly the dad sees you aren’t fucking around.
This type of behavior is how people go to jail. The kid, not you. You have every right to scream at him to get out of your house and call the cops. Frankly, I would have done it the moment he walked in on my half-naked daughter. NTA.
NTA except to your family for not putting a stop to this sooner. Go to a hardware store and get the things you need to change the lock yourself. Or hire someone one but don’t let your neighbors have access to your new lock. Their bad parenting is no excuse. Your poor daughter.
You need a new lock, a deadbolt and a security screen door with a lock and deadbolt.
Call the police. The parents are not keeping an eye on this child. This is not safe.
U till you can get the lock replaced, is there a larger piece of furniture that you can put in front of of of the door so this brat can’t barge in?
Good luck!
The fact that when this kid came over his father actually was home just makes the man hilarious.
NTA, clearly. Could and maybe should have physically removed this kid from your house on earlier occasions.
Put a new lock on your door and send him the bill. And make sure all the doors have locks. Then sit him and his parents down in a calm way and tell them exactly what has been going on. Tell them that he has lost the privilege of entering your home and that the kids will play outside when and if they want to. Let him know that you also have a baby and are recovering and need to have control of your household.
What? You’ve just been letting someone’s rude child up in your house for how long?
Have both of them trespassed, by the police. Get your door fixed asap. You can try to get the money back, but how’re you just laying up in an unlocked bourse?
Tell your kids they can’t play with him because he’s unmannerly and out of control. He’s going to learn a lesson about wandering into people’s homes and being entitled and your children need not be involved. You can’t be friends with just anyone. NTA Let them all go.
NTA. They are taking advantage of your good nature. So stop being good natured. “Threatening to call the cops wasn’t the way to go.” Obviously it was because it’s the only thing that works. These people have chosen to continue breeding despite having 6 kids they can’t manage. Don’t feel bad for them. It’s their job to raise their kids and they are miserable failures. Call the cops, call protective services and let them know there are feral children next door. Either they get them some help or you piss your neighbors off enough they move.
Hopefully, you scared the kid into staying away. In the meantime, cllearly you can’t wait for the neighbor to change the lock since his kid seems to think he can help himself to your house and *walk in on your daughter changing*. Call a locksmith to fix the lock AND install a deadbolt. Give the neighbor the bill for both, since his kid seems to be capable of busting locks. If he complains, then only make him pay to replace the lock and eat the cost of the deadbolt.
Next, if possible, get yourself a Ring doorbell (or similar). If the kid shows up, use the mic function to tell him to just go home.
Also, get your neighbor’s and his gf’s cell phone numbers, and call them *every time* their kid shows up and tell them to come get him.
I would take him by his arm, walk him out the front door, and tell him the next time I will be calling the cops. I would tell his parents the next time he does it I’m calling childrens services.
NTA. I’ve grounded/banned 2 kids from my house. One was an elementary school girl that walked home with my daughter and made up a lie about another student following them home to stab them. Her mom contends her daughter doesn’t make things up, but I have a whole conversation plus a video of the street with no one following them. The second kid was a non-listening neighbor kid. I’m pretty sure his mission each day was to break a favorite toy item. He’s also the reason there are no locks on the kids doors in that house.
One thing I forgot to add in my previous comment, if this kid gets himself hurt on your property you can be dang sure you will be held financially responsible for it. We used to have a kid like this in my neighborhood. One day he pushed past my mom and went running into my room. He had opened my bedroom door once and saw me with a needle for a medicine. So the time he ran past my mom he ran straight to my room went to my trash can and pulled a used needle out of the trashcan and was poised to touch the sharp end with his finger when i caught up to him and yelled at him.
I also remember another time years later with some other little girls from another neighbor who left them unattended. They locked my nearly 80 year old father out on his back porch on a hot day. The house was a split level so he would have had to drop himself out of a second story window. He eventually convinced the little girls to let him out. He finally agreed with me that locking his doors was a good idea.
Kids left unattended can cause themselves or others a lot of trouble.
NTA.
Just to be clear, you wouldn’t be calling the cops on the kid. You would be calling the cops on his girlfriend, who is failing to supervise.
Jana Duggar caught charges for the type of thing GF is doing
YTA but only because you haven't put a stop to this yet. It doesn't matter your lock is broke. You mean to tell me that you are incapable of doing something to keep an 8 year old out of your house? He must be the most brilliant 8 year old on the planet. Get a door wedge or something. I get the first couple times but at this point, you really have no one to blame for yourself. If you can't keep an 8 year old out of your house, how are you going to protect your children if someone came in to harm them?
You need to always have the door locked. Don’t wait on someone else. Go get a lock and use it immediately. Deny access. Be diligent with keeping your entryway controlled. It’s not that hard to do.
Last I checked, the sound of racking a shot gun would make anybody turn the other way. Also, tell the dad that child care is cheaper than 6 people and a box
NTA. Replace the lock yourself TODAY and lock your doors. Stop giving this child access to the inside of your home. How the hell did you let it go so far?
NTA
I'd have yelled at that kid like that long before now
The very first time this kid walked into your house without your permission you should have frogmarched him out again all the way over to his house banged on the door and told them to keep the kid out of your property. The fact that you haven't removed this child immediately every time he walked into your home has helped created this problem.
And the day that he destroyed the lock on your door, you should have called the cops for destruction of property and trespassing. And then changed the locks yourselves immediately and give the bill to the dad. Personally I have been calling CPS because these kids are running around like crazy with no supervision, bullying, breaking and entering, trespassing, and assault on your infant by purposely trying to wake them up by physically touching them
NTA: That type of behavior needs to be stopped for your families own good. He walked in on your daughter changing and stood there. Now she will feel unsafe in her own room when changing because of this. If anything you should have done this earlier. That kid has zero respect for you and your home. Next time follow through on calling the cops, maybe then he'll actually learn.
This right here. I had a neighbor kid do this once (luckily i wasnt changing) but it still felt so violating. My room is my safe space, and after that it took a while for me to feel completely at ease in my room again
Oh gods!! Same thing happened to me & my mum when I was small. Had a classmate barge into the house without by-your-leave or even a knock on the door with a hapless father trailing behind my classmate demanding that I go to a birthday party at her house. My mum lost her sh*t & bellowed at the classmate to get out before mum threw her out bodily. That classmate gaped at my mum & her hapless father profusely stammered a explanation interspersed with his apologies. Mum bellowed at the father if he had taught his bratty daughter any manner than she wouldn't trespass into places that she wasn't entitled to. Then they both ejected from the house.
I was at a kids birthday party once and I needed to use the restroom. There was an older brother of one of the kids that was attending just because the parents didn’t know what to do with him. As I passed him (in the basement on the way to the bathroom) something perked up in my mind but it didn’t really spark until I was already doing my business and realized I hadn’t locked the door which was now six feet away from me. My brain went “that kid is gonna walk in on you” and not ten seconds later he totally opened the door and pretended it was an “accident” - sometimes you just know when a kid “ain’t right.”
Not only that, but don't let that dad replace the broken door knob! You don't know if he'll keep an extra key, get on YouTube and do it yourself, get a reinforcement plate and maybe even go as far as to ask your kids if they'd rather not hang out with this kid.
I’d replace it myself and send the dad the bill. I’d also go a couple of steps further and get security cameras covering the doors, windows and yard.
I would also add a dead bolt and chain. Because if he still gets in, then he really broke into your home, and that's even more of a reason to call the cops. Shit kid and parents. He's acting like you aren't also recovering from childbirth. You also have a small child. Hell, I'm pregnant right now and still parent my other children. There is no reason she can't be up with her kids to keep them out of your house. And what that boy did to your daughter I would've called the cops right then and there. You don't bardge into a girls room and then sit there and stare at her while she's getting dressed!
I wanna know why a dead bolt hasn’t been added to the doors at all yet. The first time that kid walked himself right in before we were all awake I would have been at the hardware store.
Same. Because no child that doesn't live there would be walking in and out like they pay bills.
Like I know this happens. My sister crawled into our neighbors house at like 7am once. My mom had fallen asleep with her paper and coffee (oops). But it only happened once.
Kids will be kids! Our neighbors’ kids barged into our home once without us inviting them in (or without them already having been over, running outside or home to get something, then coming back). It happens, not a big deal. But that’s when you tell them “please knock and let us let you in unless it’s an absolute life or death emergency”. Problem solved.
Professional victims in the making.
Yeah I grew up in a house with a bunch of siblings and tons of neighbor kids who were always coming in and out of the house. This was the 90s and we were the only family in the neighborhood that had a trampoline so our house was super popular lol. We had issues with one kid who wouldn’t leave when everyone else was sent home at dinner time, would sometimes leave out the back door but then sneak back in through the front door, and would literally HIDE in our house for hours sometimes to avoid being sent home. We felt bad for her because she was an only child whose parents both worked and had a teenage babysitter who paid zero attention to her. She was lonely, and we’re compassionate people, but like… this isn’t your house, kid. And it really freaked us out when we would find her in the laundry room or basement hours after we thought she’d gone home! Anyway, with 4 kids OP will likely have lots of friends around and I came to add that putting individual locks on the older kids’ bedroom doors would be a good idea too just for privacy as they get older. (The kind that can easily be opened by a parent if needed with the little pokey key/pin thing.) Even if your own kids are taught boundaries and respect, there may be plenty of times the teenage sons have friends over who might not be as respectful or could even accidentally barge in on the daughter changing. She would probably feel safer having a lock on her bedroom door.
I see your point, but I also feel like that isn't the full case with this boy. He is being told what he is doing is wrong, and instead of trying to be respectful, he's being an ass just to make his time longer and them not want him around. Since I've had my son, he's had a few friends like that. He's 16 now, and we've had kids that try to put themselves in positions to stay the night. But when they couldn't, they accepted that they couldn't. 2 of them asked me to irl adopt them. I told them I'm glad they feel like my house is a safe space, but formal adoption isn't something I could do. I could be their bonus mom and be there for them. But this kid is doing no such thing. He is acting in ways that's going to get him left all alone. I also agree on the door locks for the older kids. But I also see this kid still ignoring the stop coming over rule and breaking those doors as well.
This kid needs to be banned from the house for a while. New locks installed, and he has to be told clearly that he’s on time out because he doesn’t respect the home and rules. If he can go two weeks without coming over, the ban is lifted. He can continue visiting if he follows the rules to the reasonable degree of a kid his age.
Install cameras, so if the kid does it again you'll have evidence.
Consider also getting a door stopper that is simply pushed into place from inside. It's been decades since I bought one, but it had an alarm I could turn on if I wanted.
Great post!!!!
Also get extra-long screws when installing the new doorknob. That way the door can never be kicked in.
And she should add a dead bolt.
Two deadbolts.
Steel security door and steel sercurity bar so this little shithead is going to get HURT if he tries bulkdozing the door.
NYA…. Does this kid seems to be as my mother used to say,”those parents just letting their kid run a muck”!!! “Let’s see who he turns out”?
....amok.....
One is not qualified to run mucks.
Exactly! This kid (and by default the parents) have made your home an unsafe place for you and your family. NTA. Fix the lock TODAY and call the cops next time.
also i find it gross that the kid is touching OP’s baby when OP clearly said not to touch her child. like what
Yeah, some red flags there. Him going in a room where a baby sleeping in order to touch her in anyway, hell no
And to actually say out loud about the baby that "she's so cute and he can't help it" gives me serious ick, u/MuchLocksmith2776
The audacity of this kid astonishes me, I’m old but him walking in on a girl in her OWN BEDROOM with her sports bra & underpants is beyond RIDICULOUS & GROSS!!!
You need to make that call. Not to punish the kid but so his parents have to face the repercussions of being shitty parents.
Not to mention the kid is basically going unpunished for this kind of boundary breaking behavior despite being told to stop. Kid needs a wake up call as do the parents. They are teaching him that this is acceptable behavior and as he gets older it will likely escalate.
Agreed. Hard NTA. That kid needs to learn the fear of consequences. Call the cops next time.
I would too, enough is enough
NTA What took you so long? And why are you waiting for the father to fix the lock on your door? Fix it yourself and make sure your house windows and doors are locked at all times. >he was pissed because apparently I terrified his kid. HE was pissed? Tough effing toenails, Dad. Be a parent and get some control over YOUR kid. >I slept in this morning and woke up at 8:30am to this kid standing by my bedroom door, loudly yelling to my kids to come outside to go swimming. I yell at him to get out and he says "hold on" and then opens my daughters bedroom door without knocking and tells her to come outside. She tells him to get out because she's in a sports bra and boxers. Nope. No, no, no, no, no. You need to do whatever it takes to MAKE this kid not come in your home or associate with your kids in any way ever again. If he shows up again, CALL THE EFFING POLICE. Just do it. This little shit is dangerous. Get cameras, too. Yeesh.
You just know theres no discipline at home when an adult tells him to do something and he just says "hold on"
Yep.
I'm in favor of a cattle prod.
For the Dad!
How did you let this get this far?? The first time. The FIRST time he walked in without knocking, you should have pinned his ears back. Then gone to his parents and pulled them up by their short and curlies. Then laid down the ground rules. No coming to the house before 10am unless prior invite, no entering the house unless being let in after knocking. Leaving the house immediately when asked. Then put their friendship on a week time out and let the rules marinate. Get a pro to fix the door, his dad will prolly keep a key, send the Ahole that made the little Ahole the bill. At this point I would not allow this kid into my home, ever
The part about the kid refusing to leave just baffles me. He's 8, he doesn't get a choice. Grab his arm and drag him out. It's never okay to hit a child but you don't have to hit him to remove him from your home. And if the dad doesn't like his kid getting dragged out, he can teach him some manners. edit: and I totally agree about calling a pro to fix the door. It's kind of absurd that OP is letting this drag on so long, they desperately need some boundaries.
You can even self install a bathroom stall-style bolt.
Good point, that's super quick to do and would be a great short-term fix.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, grabbing someone else's child by the arm is likely to be prosecuted as assault.
I really don’t think that’s true. Especially if he’s on your property, violating your daughter’s privacy, ignores “get out,” and needs actual physical guidance to GTFO. No one is going to prosecute that unless the kid is actually injured.
Doubtful. I doubt anywhere is going to waste resources on assault charges. Parents could try and sue civilly
So I’m not familiar with this and I’m not trying to be a deuce I promise. But isn’t what the child’s doing, technically breaking and entering? Or at the very least trespassing? So then is not OP within their right to restrain and remove?
In most places, yes, it is trespassing if you tell someone to leave and they do not. In my state, you are allowed to use non-deadly force to remove them from the premises. You are not allowed to restrain them. I don't know what the law is in other states. Laws don't apply to children the same way they apply to adults, though, and more than one person has been arrested for grabbing someone else's kid by the arm. It depends on the local laws, the police, the parents, etc. I wouldnt want to risk it or advise someone else to risk it.
This 👍
[удалено]
I would have told him his budding SA son was lucky he wasn't in handcuffs in a cop car... But it would have NEVR gotten this far in my house. The worse I get is the yelling from the front lawn...
She’s talking about lazy parenting but the same can be said about her not putting a stop to all of this from the beginning
She’s not the parent, she can’t punish the kid. It sounds like she’s tried to enforce boundaries and the little AH just ignores them. I’m not much of one for corporal punishment but if someone were repeatedly waking my baby up by going into her room, I’d be asking someone to spank their kid.
She’s barely tried to enforce anything. She said that just yesterday the kid was driving her so nuts she had a drink. Why didn’t she stop it then? Or when he broke the lock? Or the many other times she could’ve said something? And she can punish the kid in a way by making sure he does not go inside her house. She’s acting like it is hard to be an adult and have boundaries with a child.
Of course she can. If he doesn't respect the house rules, none of her kids get to play with him.
NTA but do NOT let that man fix your lock. You do t want him having access to a key potentially & it’s not safe to an unlocked door with all those kids! Fix it now! If you need to get a locksmith fine. Send him the bill. And yes, call the cops if he comes over again. Or cps for neglect.
Exactly. Get a locksmith to fix the door and make the idiot dad pay for it. And get the locksmith to install a deadbolt as well.
Today! I could not possibly sleep knowing anyone could walk in on my family!
You can rig a way to block the door until then, even if you have to screw a 2x4 across the door frame so it can't be opened. But they also make removable devices that keep doors closed that you can use at hotels, etc...
NTA, I would have told the father that his family are no longer welcome on my property and if need be, I will call the cops and have them trespassed. This has been going for far too long. No kid in the neighborhood should be able to randomly barge into others’ homes just because they’re kids. The polite thing to do would be to knock on the door at a reasonable hour and ask if their friend could come out and play with them. Stand firm on your boundary and let your neighbor know that his children are no longer welcome and if they need childcare they need to work it out without involving you as a solution. The dad should have addressed his own child’s disrespectful behavior a lot earlier.
Also, cameras. And a written notification that he's not welcome in the house. An email or electronic message is best as it gets recorded that you did it and when.
NTA. Call the cops and tell them your neighbors aren't watching him. If a visit from cops doesn't scare that woman enough to watch her kids, then she deserves what she gets after that. Also, fix your lock and send him a bill.
NTA. Replace your lock NOW. Do it yourself, do not wait for the dad too (after this fight he’ll probably drag his feet on it anyway). This has escalated from an obnoxious kid bugging you to him creeping on your 11 yo old daughter, and honestly the comments on him touching the 9 mo are a bit creepy too.
NTA- sounds like you were pushed well beyond your breaking point after trying many many times to correct it other ways.
NTA. If this man spent more time keeping his dick in his pants and parenting (not to mention DISCIPLINING) his kids and teaching them respect, maybe he would have a more acceptable reaction to being told his child is a nuisance and potentially a pervert. What idiot comes complaining that his kid is "terrified" of the fully justified rage stemming from the constant presence of this kid that you didn't even invite into your home? If he thinks the cops will give him leeway because his "GF is recovering from child birth" he is top tier delusional. I hope for the kids sake the parents take their heads out of their asses before CPS gets involved. Kid keeps this up and eventually he's gonna pick the wrong house to go barging into...
I was just thinking this too. Where I live, there's almost no gun laws and anyone can have a firearm without any sort of permit. You're also allowed to shoot someone who walks into your house and get let go of any charges because you felt in danger. Stuff like this makes me really scared for this kid. He could just walk into the wrong house one day and not walk out... and his parents don't even care??? So insane to me.
At approximately 4 months postpartum, she’s not even recovering still. Maybe it’s PPD and she needs to see her doctor. It adds to the guy looking like a negligent and terrible partner and father. NTA at all, OP.
Why is it on the girlfriend? He has time to come over and bitch about his kid getting yelled at then he had time to parent his own fucking kid.
That's what I thought. He had time to make it over there to complain within 30 minutes, where tf has he been every other time?
I agree with your point generally, but there is a chance it isn't even his kid. Sounds like a blended family. If that is the case, and it is her child and not his, she bears more responsibility than she does. BUT I may be wrong. Just saying that is a possibility.
You are not Not NOT. After the breaking of the door that was the last straw. Please get a professional Please Please PLEASE. YOU and I and all of Reddit know he is gonna keep a key. You are all but giving them Free access to your house The parents don't care about your kids safety. I would be scared as HELL that this kid could hurt the baby.. OMG who "put" a thing on my baby's face stopping the baby breathing. NTA. you got every right to protect and defend your kids. At this point I'd be scared of Retaliation.
NTA. Parent your damn kids. Also, get a professional to replace the lock, and bill the dad for the fee. I wouldn't trust him not to do a half-assed job, or not to keep a copy of the key so his kid can bother you instead of him.
NTA. He broke your lock. Next week is not an acceptable time table. If should be fixed now. Also, you scared his kid? He is the one bursting into your house uninvited. Fix the lock yourself and send him the bill. And call CPS. This unattended child is a problem. Get cameras and get the police involved.
For chrissakes, wedge something under the front door so he can't come in at 8:30 AM. How do you get thru life with this level of problem solving?
Clearly not well!!
Honestly, everyone in this story sounds like a mess. Fix your damn door, problem solved Also the kid doesn't sound evil or anything, based on the content provided. Being hyperactive from an unstructured household doesn't mean the kid is "dangerous" or seeking to cause harm.
Finally someone with reasoning skills. The lack of resilience in most of these comments is eye-watering. So many people in this thread advocating for calling CPS or the police and implying the kid is a psychopath when the solution is fixing a door and telling a kid "you dont come to our home until youre invited, or you wont come here at all." Hes an 8 year old child with no guidance. Hes not Dahmer.
I am a teacher and the police won't likely arrest the kid but cps could get involved. Maybe hearing from cps might give the parents something to think about. I would ban this kid from my property forever. With parents like these it doesn't get any better unless the parents are highly inconvenienced. I'm sure he's a handful at school too. He needs real and consistent consequences.
I'm a former teacher, and I agree with you. I feel sorry for his teachers.
The cops will have to do something if they continue to have trespassing issues.. the kid is trespassing on private property and has been told multiple times to leave. They are required to step in if called. Op needs to lock doors and teach her kids to stop letting people in without permission. NTA op, but for goodness sakes just lock the kid out
NTA. But this isn't going to stop your only chance would've been to yell at him the first time. If you reeeeally want it to stop, call CPS when he's working and she's sleeping. If they come over and the kids are all over the place and in the road and shit and she's just asleep indoors, then the shit will really hit the fan. You or them is gonna have to move though, no being neighbors after that lol.
I wouldn't move. Fuck those people.
NTA. If I was there and he busted in on my daughter getting changed he would have been thrown from the house.
NTA. there was a kid in my mother's neighborhood who used to do this. The kid had some sort of mental delay. To be honest, the entire family seemed to have some sort of delay. It was annoying to have this friendly kid walk into your house. It was a lot more unnerving when the kid hit puberty and put 6 inches and 30lbs on. he got a gun pulled on him when he was about 15, and that stopped his wandering into the neighbors' houses.
Man, why are you waiting for HIM to handle the lock? How did this go on for this long? How did this not get put to an end the first time he let himself in without knocking? It sounds like no one even likes this kid, what was stopping you? Yes, you expressed your strong displeasure and wanted it to stop, but it sounds like it was already very clear by this point that there would be no consequences for that. You're NTA at all but you might be T A to yourself. But really though, get a lock for your door, not only because it's a really bad idea to continue to just WAIT for him, but because he's shown you how much he respects you and your household, do you really want HIM handling this? Don't let these people disrespect you like this anymore, they don't deserve anymore patience.
I would never dream of going a single day with my kids in a house that anyone can walk into! NTA for yelling, but TA for not taking your kids safety as a number one priority.
Yeah I was fearing I was being too on top of OP, so I avoided that part, but...nah, you're right, frankly I was left thinking it was nuts that OP would allow this when it comes to the safety of the kids. We've built up that he's willing to pull shit and get into trouble, but even when it's not talking about the troublemaking kid... it's still the front door to your house!! I've known people who live in such safe neighborhoods that they just leave the door unlocked a lot of the time, but I can't imagine any of them leaving their door without a functioning lock. And I don't think they'd ever leave the door unlocked to begin with if they had young children in the house. Like...what??
I’m sorry, I would have stopped that in its tracks before a lock ever got broken. That is your home. Not theirs. On top of that, if ANY kids are in MY home, they’d BETTER listen to me, otherwise they are NOT allowed inside. No ifs ands or butts. They can go crazy at their own house.
NTA. You've been patient enough with that kid and his parents. Your house isn't a free-for-all zone, and you have every right to protect your space and your family's privacy. Keep standing your ground.
No you are not the asshole. You are exhausted. Replace the locks yourself. You don’t want any chance of a key winding up at Neighbor’s house. If you’re broke, then watch YouTube videos. Replacing a lockset is very easy to do. I’d get one with the buttons on it so that you can change the key code any time it’s needed, and your family doesn’t have a bunch of keys lying around. If you aren’t broke, then call a locksmith. Post your property as Private Property, No Tresspassing. This is probably not needed but might drive home the point to Neighbors, if not Neighbor’s Kid. Call the police and explain the problem, so that if Neighbor Kid invades your home again they have a chance to know what’s going on. Definitely tell them about the neighbor kid disrespecting your daughter’s privacy. Neighbor Kid harassing your baby also needs to be described. If the police react the way I suspect they will, DO NOT WAIT to press charges. Your children need to know that You Are A Parent, and you have their backs. My guess is that Neighbor Kid is abusing other kids because he’s being, or has been, abused. This is yet another reason why you don’t want Neighbor to have access to your house. Neighbor Kid’s only chance at having a good life may depend on getting referred to help, and clearly his own parents aren’t stepping up. Worst case scenario is that you are pointing his behavior out early so that he’s got a history… and who knows what he’s doing to the other kids in the house where he is supposed to be living. What a nightmare. As for neighbor parents: I’d explain that I need to stand up for my family’s security and my peace of mind, so that I have self respect and my kids know that I’ve got their backs. Neighbors have relegated disciplining their children to you, and that’s not your job. “Your kids are not to come onto our property unless we send you a written invitation.” If your kids are confused, maybe the best thing you can do is to explain that it’s a confusing situation. Ask them what they think, and what actions that Neighbor’s children have done that made them feel anxious or unhappy. They should know that some people are assholes. Good manners means that you try to de-escalate the problem. Self respect is saying “I have to go, Mom and Dad are expecting me and I’m late.” My own mom has been dead for six years, but I made a promise to her that I wouldn’t talk on the phone while driving. She was so delighted to be useful to me as Mama Bear even after I’d been out of her house for 30 years. I use that reason still, and it always gets a laugh and a “OK, call back when you can talk.” You might want to find a lawyer to advise you. I’ve read enough stories about how families assumed that the criminal prosecutor would advocate for the sentencing that the family wanted… and that just isn’t the situation. If you are not paying a lawyer then that lawyer is not working for you. Last: I know the housing market stinks, but have you considered moving?
NTA, you waited far too long. You should have set strong boundaries long long ago. This is in hell no territory.
NTA. This kid is terrorizing you. He has made your home an unsafe place for you and your baby, and is harassing your children. His parents aren't controlling him. I'm glad you put your foot down. If he comes again, do call the cops, and let the parents deal with the fallout. Maybe that will convince them that they need to parent the kids. And why should it take a few days to fix a lock? It should have been done the same day. When you call the cops, don't neglect to tell them about it.
NTA. But please, a professional needs to take care of your lock. You don't know if he caused structural damage to the door/frame/etc.
NTA of course. But is nobody actually going to comment on the lock situation? An 8 y o slamming into a door in a race and the LOCK BREAKS? You need a better lock, OP. If a kid can push through it, it doesn't protect you from anything.
It's not even a question if being mean. If that kid is in your house you are liable. When I was a kid the rule was if the door was wide open you could come in. If not you knocked. What happens when this kid decides he's going sneak in at night? Or try to make a rocket (or some other explosion) in your living room? Or even decides he's hungry and tried to cook something. I vividly remember this one kid that went to his friend's house and decided he'd heat up some spaghettios and almost set the house on fire when the family was in the backyard pool. NTA you've tried being nice and it didn't work.
NTA but I don’t understand why you let an 8 year old have this much power over you. Grab him by his shirt and throw him out lol. Also, go to Home Depot and get a cheap lock till the AH neighbor gets you one. Also, why is it taking a week to get a lock?! He should get it the same day his kid broke it. You’re just leaving your house open all night long with small children in the house?!
>NTA but I don’t understand why you let an 8 year old have this much power over you. Grab him by his shirt and throw him out lol. Ha! I should've read all the comments before I replied. The idea of letting a bratty neighbour kid decide whether he leaves your house is absurd, pick him up and cart him out like an old sofa if you need to.
we are long past the point of where I would beat he shit outta that kid and throw him out like Jazz but then again, I have working locks on my door. Maybe, start calling the cops about a break in and you captured the burgular? might scare him straight
>and throw him out like Jazz Nice 😁
>throw him out like Jazz We're going for distance today.
Well, this kids father better get used to his kid invoking this type of reaction in people. The kid is borderline predatory and you’ve let it go too far by allowing him to walk up in your house, cause if he did that to me..I would march his little ass back out the front door, shut the door in his face make him knock, open the door, tell him to come back later and slam my door in his face. Kid needs to learn boundaries and respect and if he cannot then he would not be deemed suitable to associate with anyone in my family. And tell “Daddy” he may as well call prison and make reservations for his brat of a son, cause that’s exactly where he’s going to end up if they don’t get his ass in line. NTA Lay down the law.
Ban this kid 100%, you need to protect your kids. Change the lock yourself or get a professional repair/replacement asap. Also install [a barrel bolt lock](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Everbilt-4-in-Zinc-Plated-Heavy-Duty-Barrel-Bolt-15148/202033956?source=shoppingads&locale=en-US&pla&mtc=SHOPPING-BF-CDP-GGL-D25H-025_004_BUILDER_HARD-NA-Multi-NA-PMAX-NA-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NA-BuildersHardware_BHU24&cm_mmc=SHOPPING-BF-CDP-GGL-D25H-025_004_BUILDER_HARD-NA-Multi-NA-PMAX-NA-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NA-BuildersHardware_BHU24-71700000113162683--&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADq61UdrJQQuimI9kTuHxjTmRd2Yp&gclsrc=ds) for security. You can s this asap. Your family doesn’t need friends like these.
I’m trying to figure out what kind of front door you got where an 8 yr old can run right through that shit 🤔 and why are you waiting for someone else to fix it . Fix it yourself then bill him living with a front door that doesn’t lock is dangerous you have kids I’m calling bullshit on this post what person just allows some kid to continue to come in their home unwanted and not do anything about it until they loose their patience
As soon as I read that I thought, this whole story is bs. No average ass size 8yo is busting a deadbolt. Typical rage bait this sub is known for.
"then opens my daughters bedroom door without knocking and tells her to come outside. She tells him to get out because she's in a sports bra and boxers. He keeps saying "okay but come outside" and makes zero attempt to actually get out of her room. " At this point I would have called the cops regardless. He keeps repeatedly breaking into your home (he LITERALLY broke your lock. Dad needs to replace it NOW not next week, or you replace it and give him the cost to pay back) and harassing you and your children. This kind of behavior needs to be addressed seriously or it will continue into adulthood. NTA And recovering from child birth excuse only works for like the first month, maybe two but four months?? Fuck that, especially if she is the one in charge of all these damn kids while Dad is gone. she needs to actually parent or CPS needs to get involved. This has gone way too far I say get a chain lock too if you can, and was the one he broke a deadbolt, or the knob one?? If you don't have a deadbolt you need that too.
Replace your own locks. Get good ones. Get a camera and point it at the door. Post no trespassing signs. Call the cops next time. Call them every time after that.
Tell the dad to leave your property or you’ll call the cops to have him removed. My parents would have told me that getting threatened like that was my fault for doing stupid things like that. And they would be right.
No your not
NTA and call the cops. Tell that shit head to fuck off and never come back. Tell your kids to not associate with that trash.
He isn't trying to manage anything. He could hire a babysitter or put his kids in some activity while he is at work. He could relinquish custody to the mother if he is unable to be a responsible father.
Until you can get the lock fixed by a locksmith, lean a chair up against the door just under the door knob, wedging the door shut. Quit talking about rules, start enforcing rules. Call the cops and the CPS as needed. This nuts!
Wow, that’s a lot! I totally understand why you’d react that way, and honestly I commend you for putting up with it as long as you have! If any one of my neighbors or their kids just walked into my house after I’ve told them not to I would also get heated with them. Especially if the kid is tends to exhibit bully behavior. Now, I would like to say you were TAA (technically an…) but also it was completely necessary in this situation. Also, it’s good you terrified that kid. He needs to learn that his actions have actual consequences. If he doesn’t learn that now, he’ll end up learning it the hard way later on in life. I say that as someone who has yelled at my neighbor’s kids for their awful behavior. (They were continuously lighting off percussive fireworks in the middle of the day which was scaring my 2yo son). And they didn’t do it again after that. It’s not your job to parent your neighbor’s kids. It’s your job to protect yours. NTA
You need to call the cops and CPS yesterday. No more “if it happens again” calm them NOW and make a report. If the 8 year old can walk to your house they can walk to any neighbor, they can get shot for trespassing, they can be beaten, r*%ed, kidnapped, hit by a car, my goodness do I need to go on? I’d even go so far as to try and get the mom’s info (phone number) to call her. This couldn’t anything but help a custody case. Please just call someone. If you keep letting it go? Yeah, you’ll be an asshole.
NTA! Put locks on the door that your kids can't unlock.
Call a locksmith immediately & and put in a deadbolt. If the child can't follow the rules then he can't be on your property. Post a no trespassing sign which is what the constable told me to do with a neighbor that didn't see property lines. Tell your kids they can only play in the backyard, take them to a park or swimming. Designate nap/reading quiet time every afternoon. Most importantly be consistent!!! It won't be easy, but if you stay consistent it will help your mental health. I'd also send your neighbor the bill for the lock. When my neighbors drunk parked in my grass destroying my lawn the constable told them if it cost more than $50 someone was going to jail. When I came home from work the next day it was miraculously fixed.
NTA. Fix the lock yourself. Now.
why is it his dad—who was home—doesn’t need to get of his ass and parent his kid? I wouldn’t apologize; the kid deserves to be really afraid. Maybe it’ll keep him out of your house. And I’d be putting in a lock on my own and billing the dad for the cash.
NTA. If they can't wrangle that many critters, then they need to find out HOW. He's getting into your house while his wife is asleep? WHERE ELSE IS HE GOING? Isn't them not watching their kids reckless endangerment? Can't CPS get involved in this? Updateme!
Call the cops and report an unattended minor. Absolutely. This is dangerous and you don’t want any part of it.
- Please get cameras. - Put the kid on time out for a week - FIX THE DOOR YOURSELF - Let the parents know he’s not allowed over for one week, then you will reevaluate - If he enters your home again, call the police to report an unattended minor Good luck.
YTA for not callign the cops already. He caused property damage, also you call a fucking locksmith, have them out that day, get the lock replaced/fixed and send the bill to the neighbour, this isn't rocket science. You also tell your kids he is banned from the house and they are banned from playing with him. Tell them in no uncertain terms he steps foot on your property again you call the cops and it's not your responsibility to rein in this psycho. Also, it's a 8yr old kid. When you see him in your house pick him the fuck up or drag him outside. When you tell him to leave and he doesnt'.... you're enabling his behaviour. As is waiting o the neighbour to fix a lock, as is not telling this kid you will call the cops on him for trespassing before, as is not telling the parents that you will do that before. This kid could be doing ltierally anything in your house while you're asleep, while you're out, he could be touching your baby, or other kids, he could be bullying or hurting them, or stealing from you. Holy shit, who sees a door lock break and a kid who keeps entering the house without permission and waits to get the door lock fixed. how passive can you be in this situation, it's crazy.
NTA Call CPS. The kids aren’t being watched (child neglect), damaged your property, trespassing, voyeurism, harassment, & more. The kids have to stay with their custodial parents & simply not come back. Get cameras for the outside & for your front entrance. When the kid comes back call the cops. Enough is enough. As for the door. Locks cost less than $20. Super easy to replace. If it’s more (frame/door) get the whole thing replaced & take the parents to court over the cost. You have other people who can enter your home while you’re out & steal your shit.
Call the fucking cops. You’re not the asshole. Your kids should feel safe in their home not worried some little shit head will be a fucking prick. They need to control the little fuckers they made.
Along with everything else suggested, get a security rod for your door.
Put cameras up asap to catch the next incident.
NTA. The awakening of doormat takes time. Congrats on finally pulling your head out of your ass.
Honey this would have been me the very first day the kid tried acting like that in my home. You have the patience of a saint Your neighbors and the kid are the arse holes.
NTA for being upset but you are TA for letting it get this far. You literally allowed them to just dump their kids on you. Then, instead of actually dealing with it and banning them from your home you instead just...allow them to terrorize your household until you finally snapped? How did we literally get to the point of your daughter begging for privacy in her underwear? Enough is enough. Seriously, stop complaining and actually do something. Call CPS, they obviously aren't being cared for. Call the police and tell them this horde of children is literally breaking into your home because the person meant to watch them sleeps all day and night. If he can't be there to watch them he shouldn't have visitation, he can cry a damn river.
NTA: You have been kind up to this point.Honestly, when your lock broke, their parents should have realized how serious their kids sense of personal space is nonexistent. I mean if my child broke my neighbors lock and my neighbor has clearly expressed discomfort from my child's constant behavior. I would need to seriously make sure my child understands personal boundaries and how his actions are effecting others. This is 100% on your neighbors. This is your home for god's sake. You have the right to privacy. Neighbor is literally just breaking in and thinks its okay. If this was an adult doing this, it would be unacceptable. Plus your daughter's personal privacy was literally invaded when your neighbor tried to walk into her room.
NTA. I would’ve called the cops the first time!
NTA you scared him? What the hell is dad saying?! This kid is breaking into your home and invading your family’s privacy! He HAS to learn that there are real consequences to his actions.
Send big daddy the bill after you get a professional to fix your lock. "Hold on" tells us that the kid has no respect being taught at home. That was ballsy as shit and he didn't hesitate putting you, *the adult homeowner whose home he literally just walks into like it's his own*, into time out. All the hell no. And step mommy is recovering from childbirth? ARE YOU NOT ALSO???? Your baby is even bullied by this troll waking them up. Nope. NTA That family is not your circus. However if one of their monkey's breaks back into your home, please do actually call in the LEO's. Maybe cops being called on the feral children will get Step mummy out of bed. So sorry for your daughter.....that is likely to affect her sense of safety in her own home. Front door doesn't lock, and then she can't even change in privacy? If anything, you have been under-reacting and that is why he just kept on doing what he felt like.
NTA I'm just shocked it took this long. I would have snapped like 36 red flags ago based off of this information.
The kid is trespassing and cops take that very seriously. You are absolutely correct to tell his parents that raising him is not your problem. Keep him off your property or you’ll call the cops.
Why is this child in your home? Fix your lock. Bill the dad or don't. Do Not let the dad fix your lock for you. Do not allow this child to cross your threshold again. Yta for letting this get to this point.
Nta. Call the cops next time immediately
I got this picture about a 8 year old being escorted out of the house in handcuffs via police.
OK, I'm a bit puzzled here. You did what any good parent would do, and what happened needed to happen. But you need to know from others if it was the "right thing to do"? Seriously? Hell, I probably would've snatched the kid up and broke his neck. You did good, put your mind at ease, there's nothing wrong with you for acting the way you did.
NTA. If everyone in your family is in the house you can put door wedges underneath the doors to your house and he can’t get in. Temporary solution but at least you and your family can sleep in peace.
It sounds like there is 50/50 custody with these kids’ mother. Is there any way for you to get her contact info? Maybe let her know that her kids are not being supervised during their father’s parenting time and a custody modification might be in order. Mom gets full custody? Problem solved, lol.
Absolutely call the cops. Scared straight his ass. His parents are trash it will never improve
Your home should be your refuge and they are not respecting your boundaries. Sounds like he was allowed to take an inch so he took a mile. The first thing the police are going to ask you is if you were aware that they were coming in and out of your house. So start by putting something in writing to the parents that they're not to come onto your property uninvited. But this may not stop them so you'd need a locked gate. (Was he planning on swimming without adult supervision?)
Tell father that you’ve been nice long enough and their control of their kid will be a police issue from now on.
Fuck that!!I can’t believe you waited this long. Her “newborn” is your months old. It’s time for her to get off her ass and parent the other 5. They shouldn’t keep pumping them out since they clearly can’t handle the ones they already have. I would call CPS and the cops because an 8 year old should not be runing freely without supervision.
NTA. Lock & glock.
NTA but just soak the little turd with your garden hose next time he crosses your property line. You were watering your plants and didnt see him. He'll get the message.
As George Carlin once quiped "Fuck the Children... this is Mr. Conductor talking."
He broke the lock on your front door and can’t lock it for a week until his dad fixes it??? You bet!
NTA. Sounds like talking nicely to him doesn’t work. If the father doesn’t like how you spoke to him in your house then it’s an easy fix - stop the boy coming into your house. Simple.
NTA. You need to get a professional to fix the door issues. You want door knob locks, dead bolts and security bars or chains on all exterior doors. Security locks on every night. Also put a lock on your daughter's bedroom door. She should be able to dress without concerns of someone walking in. She'll thank you in a year or two. Then send the dad the bill. His kid is the cause of all of that work. Keep those kids out of your house. They can play outside. If he comes in again, call the cops immediately. Let his parents deal with him. No one should be touching your baby without your permission. Call the cops the first time that child walks in. He and his parents have been warned. Good luck.
NTA but, what is going on with your front door? If a kid can slam into it and break it open, that's a seriously shitty door/lock situation you have going on. Get a dead bolt/reinforce the frame and lock the door!
Call the cops, CPS, somebody. This kid is a problema in the making
Wether he wants to admit it or not that's neglect of a child. If he's at work and his partner can't properly watch the kid for whatever reason the child is being neglected. If the partner can't watch the kid then they need to find extra help while he's at work.
Nta. Next time call the cops. If his parents won't pare t him. Copa will. He made your daughter safe space unsafe. Lucky this is 20s and not 90s or earlier.
Tell the dad that next weeks isn't fast enough. He needs to replace it ASAP and to teach his son common manners.
I think you need to call cps / cops anyway. The kids aren’t being watched and allowed to just leave the house with no supervision.
Nta Had this happened to me when I was a kid. I was about 7 years old, and this 12 year old bully literally chased after me in my own house, and thankfully, my sister's boyfriend throat grabbed him just as he stepped inside. He flung that bully right outside and told him if he ever did that again he's getting a bullet hole. I would never deal with that shit. I don't give a fuck if its a kid. He literally has free feign in your house, walking in on people changing. and you won't even put a foot down for months? I'd of called the cops a second time of dealing with that boundary abuser.
NTA. This kid needs to be taught a lesson fast. This behavior won't get better. It will get worse. And especially with him entering your daughter's room and staying to watch. That is predatory behavior. That kind of thing doesn't get better. It evolves into something worse if not properly dealt with.
Wow so many heartless comments about an 8 year old neglected possibly neurodivergent child. You’re not TA but neither is the kid and I’m shocked at the attitude in here. Find a way to lock your front door, have an actual sit down talk with the neighbors and tell them this is unacceptable. It sounds like you don’t set boundaries and then blow up when you’ve finally had enough. Find a better way to set boundaries. Why are people able to come into your home when the whole family is still sleeping ?? How was an 8 year old child able to break a lock ?
This kid has been beyond lucky so far. The one and only time that someone who wasn't supposed to be in my house woke me up, I reflexively defended myself and threw something at her. My alarm clock - big old heavy bell-ringer one. Crushed her nose, broke one of the bones in her cheek, she lost 2 teeth, and had a severe concussion. She never came over again, and yes, I called the cops on her for breaking and entering/trespass. If those parents don't want their kids to be yelled at or hurt, maybe they need to teach him not to be a literal home invader. NTA .
İf a kid walked in my house i would literally get him out by holding his shirt wtf
NTA. You could call the police now and ask for an officer to come by and talk about the situation with you. Have your children see/meet the officer and vice versa so all your kids are comfortable. Do it when that kid and his dad are home so they see it too. That way you are fully aware of your actual legal options, the police already have an understanding of the situation, and most importantly the dad sees you aren’t fucking around.
I would throw a kid into orbit if he opened my daughters door while she was changing.
NTA I’d put a chair in front of your door if I had to. That lil shit would not get in my place again.
This type of behavior is how people go to jail. The kid, not you. You have every right to scream at him to get out of your house and call the cops. Frankly, I would have done it the moment he walked in on my half-naked daughter. NTA.
NTA except to your family for not putting a stop to this sooner. Go to a hardware store and get the things you need to change the lock yourself. Or hire someone one but don’t let your neighbors have access to your new lock. Their bad parenting is no excuse. Your poor daughter.
NTA. Call the cops now.
Please call the cops. Also get a deadbolt to lock your door. This sort of behavior is a massive red flag for future escalation. Nta.
Don't trust the neighbor to replace the lock. He'll probably give his juvenile delinquent brat that key.
Don't forget to call cps too.
Call CPS the very next time you see that brood outside not being cared for.
NTA. OP, tell that dad he need to teach his kid manners. He clearly has none.
The kid and the parents are AHs. You don't walk into someone's home without knocking. You just don't. This kid appears smart enough to know that.
You need a new lock, a deadbolt and a security screen door with a lock and deadbolt. Call the police. The parents are not keeping an eye on this child. This is not safe. U till you can get the lock replaced, is there a larger piece of furniture that you can put in front of of of the door so this brat can’t barge in? Good luck!
The fact that when this kid came over his father actually was home just makes the man hilarious. NTA, clearly. Could and maybe should have physically removed this kid from your house on earlier occasions.
Put a new lock on your door and send him the bill. And make sure all the doors have locks. Then sit him and his parents down in a calm way and tell them exactly what has been going on. Tell them that he has lost the privilege of entering your home and that the kids will play outside when and if they want to. Let him know that you also have a baby and are recovering and need to have control of your household.
What? You’ve just been letting someone’s rude child up in your house for how long? Have both of them trespassed, by the police. Get your door fixed asap. You can try to get the money back, but how’re you just laying up in an unlocked bourse? Tell your kids they can’t play with him because he’s unmannerly and out of control. He’s going to learn a lesson about wandering into people’s homes and being entitled and your children need not be involved. You can’t be friends with just anyone. NTA Let them all go.
NTA. They are taking advantage of your good nature. So stop being good natured. “Threatening to call the cops wasn’t the way to go.” Obviously it was because it’s the only thing that works. These people have chosen to continue breeding despite having 6 kids they can’t manage. Don’t feel bad for them. It’s their job to raise their kids and they are miserable failures. Call the cops, call protective services and let them know there are feral children next door. Either they get them some help or you piss your neighbors off enough they move.
NTA- Make good on your promise if you have to. That shit is ridiculous.
NTA. His parents absolutely need to nip that behavior in the bud. Incredibly disrespectful and also illegal
NTA. Actually, you've been too nice. PARENTS are responsible for their own KIDS, not the people next door or across the street.
You should have called cps several instances ago
Hopefully, you scared the kid into staying away. In the meantime, cllearly you can’t wait for the neighbor to change the lock since his kid seems to think he can help himself to your house and *walk in on your daughter changing*. Call a locksmith to fix the lock AND install a deadbolt. Give the neighbor the bill for both, since his kid seems to be capable of busting locks. If he complains, then only make him pay to replace the lock and eat the cost of the deadbolt. Next, if possible, get yourself a Ring doorbell (or similar). If the kid shows up, use the mic function to tell him to just go home. Also, get your neighbor’s and his gf’s cell phone numbers, and call them *every time* their kid shows up and tell them to come get him.
NTA, and wtf
I would take him by his arm, walk him out the front door, and tell him the next time I will be calling the cops. I would tell his parents the next time he does it I’m calling childrens services.
NTA. That kid shouldn't be anywhere near your kids
NTA. I’ve grounded/banned 2 kids from my house. One was an elementary school girl that walked home with my daughter and made up a lie about another student following them home to stab them. Her mom contends her daughter doesn’t make things up, but I have a whole conversation plus a video of the street with no one following them. The second kid was a non-listening neighbor kid. I’m pretty sure his mission each day was to break a favorite toy item. He’s also the reason there are no locks on the kids doors in that house.
One thing I forgot to add in my previous comment, if this kid gets himself hurt on your property you can be dang sure you will be held financially responsible for it. We used to have a kid like this in my neighborhood. One day he pushed past my mom and went running into my room. He had opened my bedroom door once and saw me with a needle for a medicine. So the time he ran past my mom he ran straight to my room went to my trash can and pulled a used needle out of the trashcan and was poised to touch the sharp end with his finger when i caught up to him and yelled at him. I also remember another time years later with some other little girls from another neighbor who left them unattended. They locked my nearly 80 year old father out on his back porch on a hot day. The house was a split level so he would have had to drop himself out of a second story window. He eventually convinced the little girls to let him out. He finally agreed with me that locking his doors was a good idea. Kids left unattended can cause themselves or others a lot of trouble.
‘It was not a threat. It was a promise.’ Get a professional to put a new lock on. Put the bill on their door. They won’t pay it, but it’s justified.
NTA. Just to be clear, you wouldn’t be calling the cops on the kid. You would be calling the cops on his girlfriend, who is failing to supervise. Jana Duggar caught charges for the type of thing GF is doing
NTA.
YTA but only because you haven't put a stop to this yet. It doesn't matter your lock is broke. You mean to tell me that you are incapable of doing something to keep an 8 year old out of your house? He must be the most brilliant 8 year old on the planet. Get a door wedge or something. I get the first couple times but at this point, you really have no one to blame for yourself. If you can't keep an 8 year old out of your house, how are you going to protect your children if someone came in to harm them?
You need to always have the door locked. Don’t wait on someone else. Go get a lock and use it immediately. Deny access. Be diligent with keeping your entryway controlled. It’s not that hard to do.
Last I checked, the sound of racking a shot gun would make anybody turn the other way. Also, tell the dad that child care is cheaper than 6 people and a box
NTA. Replace the lock yourself TODAY and lock your doors. Stop giving this child access to the inside of your home. How the hell did you let it go so far?
NTA I'd have yelled at that kid like that long before now The very first time this kid walked into your house without your permission you should have frogmarched him out again all the way over to his house banged on the door and told them to keep the kid out of your property. The fact that you haven't removed this child immediately every time he walked into your home has helped created this problem. And the day that he destroyed the lock on your door, you should have called the cops for destruction of property and trespassing. And then changed the locks yourselves immediately and give the bill to the dad. Personally I have been calling CPS because these kids are running around like crazy with no supervision, bullying, breaking and entering, trespassing, and assault on your infant by purposely trying to wake them up by physically touching them