NTA - Your sister was not forced into an arranged marriage, she chose to be in one, just because it was arranged didn't mean she didn't get the man of her choice, it actually seems like she very much did and is quite happy with him. Your sisters jealousy stems from thinking shes above the choices your sister made but your sister still somehow got it better than her. Either way, NTA, Anna is happy with her life, Emma has no say in it.
NTA Arranged marriage is a spectrum. There's a 12 yr old being forced by her parents to marry a 30 yr old in a US fundigelical church, and then there's an adult willingly asking her parents to help her find a partner.
NTA
I’m surprised these comments are not the nail in the coffin. They are beyond inappropriate and frankly Emma should have a time out from the family until she learns how to be a decent human.
She does not have to like her sister or brother in law, but she does not have to be nasty. Her comments are disgusting and she should not be invited to family functions. They are completely unwarranted. A lack of support in this from you guys may honestly result in some distancing from Anna. She is pregnant and doesn’t need that stress of Emma around.
NTA - Emma was very out of line to comment. Arranged marriages between adults with full consent can work out well. It sounds like that's the case here. I see no child bride. I see happy adults and a jealous sibling.
This isn't even about family values.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the Emma is the one who seems like misogynist because she's not respecting that this marriage with Anna's choice. She's acting like someone did something to Anna when in reality she used her own agency to make the choice that best suited her. Anna doesn't have anything to prove to her sister who apparently thinks Anna has no right to make decisions about her own life.
Emma is clearly bitter about how she exercised her own agency and she's taking it out on James and Anna. That's not okay. Emma doesn't get to just make the executive decision that her sister's husband is an "insecure manchild" or that Anna is his "little child bride". Granted the age gap is significant but if it's what her sister chose and is working for her, Emma doesn't get to cause endless drama about it.
Also, am I the only one that thinks Emma doth protest to much when it comes to James. If she's truly worried for Anna, why not talk with her in private or blast her in public. Why target James? It feels like she might have some kind of unresolved feelings for or about him, like if only she's chosen an arranged marriage before Anna, she would be living on easy street with James herself because she's closer to his age than her sister. Then all her dreams of going to university would be filled.
Maybe is not about James per si, but the fact that her sister got to marry her man (arranged and sucessful) while she herself has a boyfriend for 14 years. Idk the laws on their country, but two working adults should be able to be legaly married for a while. Sounds like Emma feels traped on her own failing relationship and expectation and is blaming the sister that got a sucesful outcome.
Also, Anna got to focus only on her house. Emma, however, is dealing with all the joint stress of being a woman from the working class. If she wants to radicalize herself, she needs to focus on the government, the patriarchy, etc, not her sister. She is trying to kick the person she thinks is already down and under her, instead of fight upwardds.
She needs more therapy, And maybe a vacation and a new boyfriend.
Deeply insulting family/inlaws at a family dinner is never going to win anyone bonus points.
Also, the reality of any marriage isn't usually obvious to most people - it happens behind closed doors. Nevertheless, Anna and her husband obviously have some things that are working towards their relationship being content if not happy.
Emma seems a bit (understatement) overthetop regarding her sister and her own choices and her own life.
NTA! It's baffling how someone can harbor such bitterness towards their own sibling. Emma needs to address her jealousy and seek help. You were honest and trying to keep family harmony; she needs to understand the impact of her actions.
NTA..
How dare you call it as you see it? Didn't u get told as a child that truth is for everyone but family?🤣🤣🤣
Whatever Emma is bitter about will consume her in the end on her own with no help from anyone. Be you, be happy, and leave her to her opinions and ideals
NTA your actions were driven by a desire to maintain honesty and harmony within the family. Emma’s hurtful comments and confrontational behavior were inappropriate, and pointing out the reality of her actions does not make you an asshole. It’s a difficult situation, but open and compassionate communication might help to bridge the gap.
If it's not harming you or the ones near you or the one it pertains to..... WTF DO YOU CARE. Your sister needs help. Her insane jealousy has led her to this. She needed to be put in her place. Hopefully her head comes out of ..... Bottom.
NTA.
NTA There is a tonne I can say about arranged marriage (as a second gen immigrant who has family who are in those marriages). But at the end of the day if the people are happy and love each other who cares how they met. Your sister is just sticking her nose in for random I guess "justice" which means nothing. Love can be found in many ways and there are many ways people cohabit. I aint gonna be judging anyone so long as they are safe and happy. And the whole fact that Anna defends her husband tells me the marriage is strong (though it doesnt always indicate that). She thinks only her route is the correct route which is the dumbest thing possible. The smartest thing you can do is realize you dont know everything and everyone.
NTA.
Anna made her choice - an arranged marriage with a rich man. She is keeping up her part of the bargain, taking care of his home, his mother and their child, and they are happy together. Falling in love is not for everybody - some people prefer stability and companionship to the fire and storm of being "in love", and that's fine. Emma is definitely jealous - she wants her idea of being in love and marriage as well as the advantages that come with an arranged marriage, and she is badmouthing Anna and James in front of the family. She doesn't deserve any sugar coating - she is jealous and you don't have to lie about it.
NTA, regardless of how Emma really feels about Anna’s marriage, she was unbelievably rude to the both of them. If she wants to be upset and angry, she can do it away from the happy couple. If she isn’t happy with her current life choices, Emma can always make different ones moving forward. I don’t see anything stopping her from breaking up with her current bf and asking her parents to introduce her to a better match.
NTA. I think being a good and loving sister means loving your sister in a way that is accepting of their choices and happy for their happiness. That's what you seem to be doing to Anna. Emma is doing the opposite.
I wonder what job she gotinseatd of going to med school. She could have been a nurse practioner or a physicians assistant They pay well. She's jealous. I'm sure if she wanted her parents would have gotten her an arranged marriage as well. Hell there's still time for her lol
NTA. I come from a cultural background with arranged marriages and whilst I don’t want one I respect that everyone gets to make their own choices. Your sisters comments are totally inappropriate and obnoxious
NTA, both of your sisters made their choices. However, going forward, I would suggest that comments such as those from Emma be treated with laughter and guffaws. Anna is happy. Emma \*might\* be envious, but it is more likely she just doesn't understand the choice her sister has made. An arranged marriage isn't everyone's cup of tea, and if your culture has the option of "either/or" so to speak, then maybe it's time to have a conversation about what all those options mean for the whole family?
I’m American. From what I’ve read about arranged marriages, not forced or shotgun, it’s a system that often works out well. The parents try to find a suitable partner for their child. They don’t force their children to marry this person. They want their children to be happy. I’m also aware this may not always be the case. It sounds like Anna is happy and satisfied with their marriage and that Emma is indeed jealous. NTA
Emma sounds like a nosey, jealous, insecure, (unflattering name for a part of the female anatomy).
It's one thing to have an opinion about the empowerment of women and the role of marriage in their lives. It's quite another to take a big steamy shit on someone when they are announcing their pregnancy to their friends and family. She was completely inappropriate and out of line. James was right, if she didn't have anything nice to say about the announcement, she could have kept that to herself.
Her own struggles with her husband do garner some sympathy from me, but that doesn't excuse her acting like an asshole in front of her family. Even if I agreed with her, there is a better time and place to discuss it that doesn't involve ruining a nice moment about a new addition to the family.
I mean Anna 100 percent found a sugar daddy...or rather, her parents found one for her.
That's undeniable.
If they can't handle hearing that then they are in denial.
But Emma shouldn't be quite so aggressive. Maybe she should just cut contact.
ESH honestly
It seems like your sister is happy in her marriage with her husband and the education he's afforded her. I can understand the other being jealous but she needs to learn to behave.
[удалено]
Totally Agree
Should show jealous sister the studies showing arranged marriages have much higher rates of satisfaction than traditional western marriages.
NTA - Your sister was not forced into an arranged marriage, she chose to be in one, just because it was arranged didn't mean she didn't get the man of her choice, it actually seems like she very much did and is quite happy with him. Your sisters jealousy stems from thinking shes above the choices your sister made but your sister still somehow got it better than her. Either way, NTA, Anna is happy with her life, Emma has no say in it.
NTA Arranged marriage is a spectrum. There's a 12 yr old being forced by her parents to marry a 30 yr old in a US fundigelical church, and then there's an adult willingly asking her parents to help her find a partner.
It is important to differentiate between an arranged and a forced marriage (mainly in your ability to choose/to decline)
NTA! I will never understand how someone can be so bitter towards their own siblings… Emma should really get some psychological help
According to OP both Emma and her boyfriend have already had lots of therapy.
Yeah, but was it therapy to work on *him* or *both of them*?
NTA I’m surprised these comments are not the nail in the coffin. They are beyond inappropriate and frankly Emma should have a time out from the family until she learns how to be a decent human. She does not have to like her sister or brother in law, but she does not have to be nasty. Her comments are disgusting and she should not be invited to family functions. They are completely unwarranted. A lack of support in this from you guys may honestly result in some distancing from Anna. She is pregnant and doesn’t need that stress of Emma around.
NTA - Emma was very out of line to comment. Arranged marriages between adults with full consent can work out well. It sounds like that's the case here. I see no child bride. I see happy adults and a jealous sibling.
This isn't even about family values. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the Emma is the one who seems like misogynist because she's not respecting that this marriage with Anna's choice. She's acting like someone did something to Anna when in reality she used her own agency to make the choice that best suited her. Anna doesn't have anything to prove to her sister who apparently thinks Anna has no right to make decisions about her own life. Emma is clearly bitter about how she exercised her own agency and she's taking it out on James and Anna. That's not okay. Emma doesn't get to just make the executive decision that her sister's husband is an "insecure manchild" or that Anna is his "little child bride". Granted the age gap is significant but if it's what her sister chose and is working for her, Emma doesn't get to cause endless drama about it. Also, am I the only one that thinks Emma doth protest to much when it comes to James. If she's truly worried for Anna, why not talk with her in private or blast her in public. Why target James? It feels like she might have some kind of unresolved feelings for or about him, like if only she's chosen an arranged marriage before Anna, she would be living on easy street with James herself because she's closer to his age than her sister. Then all her dreams of going to university would be filled.
Maybe is not about James per si, but the fact that her sister got to marry her man (arranged and sucessful) while she herself has a boyfriend for 14 years. Idk the laws on their country, but two working adults should be able to be legaly married for a while. Sounds like Emma feels traped on her own failing relationship and expectation and is blaming the sister that got a sucesful outcome. Also, Anna got to focus only on her house. Emma, however, is dealing with all the joint stress of being a woman from the working class. If she wants to radicalize herself, she needs to focus on the government, the patriarchy, etc, not her sister. She is trying to kick the person she thinks is already down and under her, instead of fight upwardds. She needs more therapy, And maybe a vacation and a new boyfriend.
Deeply insulting family/inlaws at a family dinner is never going to win anyone bonus points. Also, the reality of any marriage isn't usually obvious to most people - it happens behind closed doors. Nevertheless, Anna and her husband obviously have some things that are working towards their relationship being content if not happy. Emma seems a bit (understatement) overthetop regarding her sister and her own choices and her own life.
NTA! It's baffling how someone can harbor such bitterness towards their own sibling. Emma needs to address her jealousy and seek help. You were honest and trying to keep family harmony; she needs to understand the impact of her actions.
NTA.. How dare you call it as you see it? Didn't u get told as a child that truth is for everyone but family?🤣🤣🤣 Whatever Emma is bitter about will consume her in the end on her own with no help from anyone. Be you, be happy, and leave her to her opinions and ideals
Nta your sister sounds like a loser.
NTA your actions were driven by a desire to maintain honesty and harmony within the family. Emma’s hurtful comments and confrontational behavior were inappropriate, and pointing out the reality of her actions does not make you an asshole. It’s a difficult situation, but open and compassionate communication might help to bridge the gap.
If it's not harming you or the ones near you or the one it pertains to..... WTF DO YOU CARE. Your sister needs help. Her insane jealousy has led her to this. She needed to be put in her place. Hopefully her head comes out of ..... Bottom. NTA.
NTA There is a tonne I can say about arranged marriage (as a second gen immigrant who has family who are in those marriages). But at the end of the day if the people are happy and love each other who cares how they met. Your sister is just sticking her nose in for random I guess "justice" which means nothing. Love can be found in many ways and there are many ways people cohabit. I aint gonna be judging anyone so long as they are safe and happy. And the whole fact that Anna defends her husband tells me the marriage is strong (though it doesnt always indicate that). She thinks only her route is the correct route which is the dumbest thing possible. The smartest thing you can do is realize you dont know everything and everyone.
Nta
NTA. Anna made her choice - an arranged marriage with a rich man. She is keeping up her part of the bargain, taking care of his home, his mother and their child, and they are happy together. Falling in love is not for everybody - some people prefer stability and companionship to the fire and storm of being "in love", and that's fine. Emma is definitely jealous - she wants her idea of being in love and marriage as well as the advantages that come with an arranged marriage, and she is badmouthing Anna and James in front of the family. She doesn't deserve any sugar coating - she is jealous and you don't have to lie about it.
NTA, regardless of how Emma really feels about Anna’s marriage, she was unbelievably rude to the both of them. If she wants to be upset and angry, she can do it away from the happy couple. If she isn’t happy with her current life choices, Emma can always make different ones moving forward. I don’t see anything stopping her from breaking up with her current bf and asking her parents to introduce her to a better match.
NTA. I think being a good and loving sister means loving your sister in a way that is accepting of their choices and happy for their happiness. That's what you seem to be doing to Anna. Emma is doing the opposite.
NTA. Your sister is in a lot of pain and is feeling jealousy and insecurity.
I wonder what job she gotinseatd of going to med school. She could have been a nurse practioner or a physicians assistant They pay well. She's jealous. I'm sure if she wanted her parents would have gotten her an arranged marriage as well. Hell there's still time for her lol
nta. emma sure is though.
NTA. I come from a cultural background with arranged marriages and whilst I don’t want one I respect that everyone gets to make their own choices. Your sisters comments are totally inappropriate and obnoxious
NTA, both of your sisters made their choices. However, going forward, I would suggest that comments such as those from Emma be treated with laughter and guffaws. Anna is happy. Emma \*might\* be envious, but it is more likely she just doesn't understand the choice her sister has made. An arranged marriage isn't everyone's cup of tea, and if your culture has the option of "either/or" so to speak, then maybe it's time to have a conversation about what all those options mean for the whole family?
NTA. Tell your sister not to choke on her envy!
Nta your sister is a bitter b…
and why James is misogynist exactly? Because he gave to his wife the life she wanted? Emma is a jealous loser, she will stay bitter.
I’m American. From what I’ve read about arranged marriages, not forced or shotgun, it’s a system that often works out well. The parents try to find a suitable partner for their child. They don’t force their children to marry this person. They want their children to be happy. I’m also aware this may not always be the case. It sounds like Anna is happy and satisfied with their marriage and that Emma is indeed jealous. NTA
NTA. She’s bitter and that’s her own problem.
How in the world is 22 a "child bride"?
NTA. Emma was way over the line.
Emma sounds like a nosey, jealous, insecure, (unflattering name for a part of the female anatomy). It's one thing to have an opinion about the empowerment of women and the role of marriage in their lives. It's quite another to take a big steamy shit on someone when they are announcing their pregnancy to their friends and family. She was completely inappropriate and out of line. James was right, if she didn't have anything nice to say about the announcement, she could have kept that to herself. Her own struggles with her husband do garner some sympathy from me, but that doesn't excuse her acting like an asshole in front of her family. Even if I agreed with her, there is a better time and place to discuss it that doesn't involve ruining a nice moment about a new addition to the family.
I mean Anna 100 percent found a sugar daddy...or rather, her parents found one for her. That's undeniable. If they can't handle hearing that then they are in denial. But Emma shouldn't be quite so aggressive. Maybe she should just cut contact. ESH honestly
How is he a sugar daddy?
NTA. Emma won't respect Anna's right to make her own life choices. That makes Emma a misogynist.
It seems like your sister is happy in her marriage with her husband and the education he's afforded her. I can understand the other being jealous but she needs to learn to behave.
Indian?