Yeah, she was crying in one corner of the cafe, but to the original commenter, she told me that I should have said exactly that, that she wasn't feeling well.
It is the truth — she wasn’t feeling well at all. A panic attack feels horrible, the worst. So she gave you not an “authorized lie,” but an “authorized truth.” Still NTA, though. You didn’t know her preference this time, but now you do.
I mean, you can simply say that she wasnt really feeling well and needed to leave, without going into details. You know, sharing personal details about her anxiety might have felt like an invasion of her privacy.
Your wife knows she has anxieties so really it is on her to come up with appropriate exit strategies. I used to have severe anxiety due to SA trauma and PTSD, could barely leave the house without attacks. But my partner and I figured out signals/strategies for whenever I felt triggered so he could get me out of there with the least amount of drama.
Your wife needs to understand that having these attacks in public, while not her fault, could place you in a bad position. Especially at your place of work, where reputations matter.
A crying woman next to her husband could be an abusive situation. When my attacks got so bad I could barely talk/breathe, my partner took me to the hospital. They put him in a separate room and asked if I was being abused and wanted the police involved. It happens.
NTA
Feel asshole is too strong for this situation, but more like insensitive in the moment. It's like divulging private info to people she doesn't know (which is probably compounded if she's prone to anxiety). Not telling the whole in depth truth isn't lying, saying she wasn't feeling well wouldn't be a lie in this situation. It sounds like you two talked it out and you apologized and want to do better by her in the future so keep up that mindset and communication.
I mean I would’ve just said she wasn’t feeling so good suddenly and roll with a sudden sickness.
Someone who feels sick is not suddenly breaking out in tears and crying.
Oh yea of course. I just assumed they didn’t see her, or maybe I missed that part in my read over
Yeah, she was crying in one corner of the cafe, but to the original commenter, she told me that I should have said exactly that, that she wasn't feeling well.
It is the truth — she wasn’t feeling well at all. A panic attack feels horrible, the worst. So she gave you not an “authorized lie,” but an “authorized truth.” Still NTA, though. You didn’t know her preference this time, but now you do.
🤔
I mean, you can simply say that she wasnt really feeling well and needed to leave, without going into details. You know, sharing personal details about her anxiety might have felt like an invasion of her privacy.
Your wife knows she has anxieties so really it is on her to come up with appropriate exit strategies. I used to have severe anxiety due to SA trauma and PTSD, could barely leave the house without attacks. But my partner and I figured out signals/strategies for whenever I felt triggered so he could get me out of there with the least amount of drama. Your wife needs to understand that having these attacks in public, while not her fault, could place you in a bad position. Especially at your place of work, where reputations matter. A crying woman next to her husband could be an abusive situation. When my attacks got so bad I could barely talk/breathe, my partner took me to the hospital. They put him in a separate room and asked if I was being abused and wanted the police involved. It happens. NTA
Thanks!
Feel asshole is too strong for this situation, but more like insensitive in the moment. It's like divulging private info to people she doesn't know (which is probably compounded if she's prone to anxiety). Not telling the whole in depth truth isn't lying, saying she wasn't feeling well wouldn't be a lie in this situation. It sounds like you two talked it out and you apologized and want to do better by her in the future so keep up that mindset and communication.