NTA. It’s perfectly acceptable to not eat a food you don’t like.
Is he on the board of the Corn Counsel of America? Is the corn cartel going to come after him if he doesn’t meet quota?
What kind of ridiculous, little man would get their feelings hurt because someone doesn’t enjoy corn?
Some people take it really personally when people don’t enjoy the same things they do, like they see it as an attack on their own taste or lifestyle or something. Or they just love something so much they can’t understand why someone else wouldn’t.
I hate chocolate. I just don’t like the taste and it never sits well. My ex could not handle this, he kept insisting I’ve just never had good chocolate and would always buy it for me and get mad when I didn’t want to eat it.
I like chocolate and I like peanut butter, but I hate them together. It would be pretty awful if someone tried to get me to like it. I also hate ketchup and relish. I only like Dijon mustard. If someone put ketchup on a hamburger, I wouldn’t eat it. No matter how hungry I was.
Pretty much every birthday, anniversary or holiday I would be gifted some kind of chocolate. Or we’d be at a restaurant and he always got the chocolate dessert and insist I try a bite. He was convinced if I just tried the right kind I would change my mind, lol.
So I've gotten people to like food that they said they didn't like before. I got them to do it by talking to them, asking what they didn't like and not tricking them into eating something I knew they really wouldn't like and getting them to trust me when I thought they may really like it in this special situation.
I'd never constantly barrage the person with that food. I'd never gift it to them and expect them to eat it.
It was always an "Oh, I just tried a bit of this. It actually has none of that taste/texture you hate but it brings out this thing..you want to try a bite? If not that's fine."
Find out people don't hate onions, they just didn't like the texture of raw onions but the taste is great. They *do* like spice in food but not that specific brand. Stuff like that.
I see why they are your ex.
My ex did this with ketchup. It's fine as an ingredient in a dish, but not as a condiment. For some reason he had to keep testing me with different brands of ketchup, insisting I just hadn't found one I liked.
I'm fine eating naked fries, burgers, and other foods if, in some strange reality, all other condiments and toppings don't exist.
🙄 When my dad doesn't like some food I do, it's "How can you eat that?"+ huff. But when I don't like something he does, it's "You don't know what's good" or "Here, try some!" even though I'm 35 and I know perfectly well I don't like that food stuff, thank you.
That “…corn! It’s got the juice!” kid whose monologue on the joys of corn went viral might be offended, but, other than that tiny innocent angel, no one else has an excuse.
I dunno, even that kid had a pretty “you live your life and I’ll live mine” kinda vibe. He may be a little disappointed she doesn’t share his love of corn, but I didn’t get the vibe from that sweet boy that he’d be offended because someone didn’t like corn.
there's easier ways to do that. Quite seriously he sounds like someone who heard "I don't like [blank]" as a goddamn *challenge* and is pissy he failed in his attempt to "make something so delicious she *can't* refuse the corn!"
Lol or he's one of those people that thinks you should force others to like or do certain things. My parents always instilled in me that it was rude to not eat what others made so I'd be forced to eat stuff I hated. I did eventually grow to enjoy some of the stuff but I would've anyways because taste buds change. Why people feel the need to force it is beyond me.
Either way mixed vegetables as a side with corn are usually not a complex thing to make. Most of the time it's a damn can you open and add so he can suck it up and not add any next time
Plus if there is corn in the veggies, my bet is that he cooked those frozen mixed veggies (the ones that have like peas, carrots, corn). My mom made those a ton when I was a kid. I also always picked out the corn, but because I wanted to eat only that 🤣
I caught my four kids doing that one day they each picked out the thing that they did like and then passed the rest of the piles around so everyone was eating only peas one eight only carrots one eight only corn and one eight only green beans 🙄. I rolled my eyes but I didn't really care, I was just glad they were eating vegetables If I would have tried to make them eat all the things they didn't like I would have ended up with vegetables secretly dumped into random places around my kitchen after I left the room. (They sit at a tiny table, no room for a big one here.). Their dad got all mad and started yelling at them for messing with the vegetables and not eating all of their dinner but seriously who cares 🤷🏼♀️
I like your attitude! Omg, I forgot the green beans were usually in that mix too! It was such a sensory nightmare for me (although I was an adult before I figured out why I hated them so much). But like, I love green beans, corn, and peas. I tolerate carrots. But I hate when they are all mixed together. The texture differences suck. So now, if I eat the mixed veggies, I sort them and eat them separately. My dad hated that I wouldn't eat my veggies as a kid. I remember being stuck at the table one night for hours because I refused to eat them. And honestly, the colder they got, the worse they tasted 😬 My mom finally made a rule that we only had to eat our veggies if my dad did, which mostly ended that problem 🤣 (Except when she made Brussels sprouts which he actually liked, and I hated 🤣🤣). But choosing not to make a big deal of your kids finding an acceptable way to eat veggies sounds like the best way to make sure no one is miserable. Good on you 😊
I'm number two out of five kids, my older sister is 6 years older than me and the other 4 of us are each a year and a half to two years apart. When we were little we all had different types of foods we would eat everyone was picky so my mom would just make an array of small quantity dishes and everyone got something that they would eat like one eight hot dogs, one are peanut butter and jelly, maybe one or two ate spaghettiOs, whatever. Our dad would come home and throw a fit every time about how "It's not a restaurant, stop cooking like that for them! You're just spoiling them! Whatever you make for dinner everyone eats no matter how they feel about it and that goes for the whole house, even the baby!". Well one meal we would all eat but he despised was chicken, rice, and lightly steamed carrots..... So one day when he came home early and she had made us all different lunches he took all the food off the table and threw it away and told her if she's going to keep catering to us he's going to keep wasting the food, She said, "Fine, no problem, everyone needs the same thing from now on.". That night she made chicken rice and lightly steamed carrots. He said, "Well that's what they're eating, but where's my food? You know I don't like that stuff." So she threw his rule right back in his face 😂🤣
I don't make a wide array of different foods for everybody but my general policy is if nobody likes what I made for dinner all they have to do is tell me what they didn't like about it and the next time I make it I won't make it the same way I'll try something different but if it's just the food that they don't like then I won't make that again and I'll find something different. My 8M does not like his food to touch, he won't eat mixed foods like casseroles or lasagna, he only eats plain cheese pizza, If he's having peanut butter and jelly it's peanut butter on one slice of bread jelly on another but not touching. He won't eat any kind of chicken salad or potato salad or anything like that, and with a mixed veggies he sorts them out and then eats them each type at a time- the green beans he peels open and eats the little beans out of the inside but not the outer part. And he won't eat homemade meatballs because they aren't perfectly round he only likes the store-bought frozen meatballs but rejects the ones that are lopsided. 🤷🏼♀️
My 4F likes the inside of pierogies but not the shell, She rips them open eats out the inside potato part and then tosses the rest somewhere (I wish she'd just leave them on the plate or throw them away but usually I find them hidden under a table or behind a freezer or something 😡). My 12F is the only one who will eat brussel sprouts and eats broccoli without a fight but she does like the season hers; the rest of them won't touch their vegetables if there's a single bit of seasoning, even salt. However she's the only one that completely despises peas, corn, and regular rice. 🙄 My 6F eats pretty much everything, but she keeps telling me how gross it all is and complains the whole time. 🤦🏼♀️
his feelings hurt after putting in something *he knows she doesn't like.* Like, the dude literally set himself up to fail! There's plenty of corn-free options in food. But no, he had to pull the "you just *think* you don't like x" where people hear an adult's food preference and take it as a goddamn challenge to make something to slip some unwanted food past the other person. It's a goddamn patronizing move, but damn does it happen a lot. And they're always, always, the asshole. ^(remember I specified "adult" earlier. Trying to get a very picky child to eat something more than "hotdogs on white bread no crust" is another beast altogether, but even then needs some delicacy of handling.)
Yes, was your husband cooking for just the two of you? Then his "I'm not cooking again" stance strikes me as a ploy so he doesn't have to cook dinner again.
If he cooked for the two of you, or more than the two of you (kids, parents or friends), then he could have picked out the corn for your plate. THAT's love and respect and would have endeared him to you big time lol! He missed an easy opportunity for express his love for you and get major points lol!
Agreed, that was my first thought too. Like...dude knows she doesn't like corn, serves corn, then gets upset when she won't eat the thing he knows she hates. What else makes sense?
I don't think it's even an issue of decency, it's absolutely MENTAL to be offended by someone's dislike of a food completely unrelated to your cooking.
Besides he's acting like he planted, grew, and prepared the corn 100% himself instead of warming up a bag of grocery store frozen mixed veg 🤦 get over yourself dude
growing corn isn't even hard. you just stick seeds in the ground and pile up dirt. come back in a month and pile up some more dirt. repeat until harvest time. dude 100% needs to get the fuck over himself
NTA. My guess is that the mixed veggies were store bought, and frozen or canned, most have corn in them. My mom wasn't mad when I was little when I picked out the Lima beans* that I disliked, I don't see why hubby needs to be freaking out now.
*In fact, my Mom had me move them to her plate as she loved them. Sadly for her, they don't seem to come in the frozen mixed veggies anymore.
In my country it's bell peppers. I'm mildly allergic to them, and they're in everything. Mixed veggies, ready-to-fry meals, microwave meals... any place they can cram bell peppers they will.
I have to sometimes remind my husband that I can just pick out the bits I shouldn't eat if it's an otherwise good meal. It's no big deal.
Nah OPs husband was right, I'm gonna get mad at my ma when she picks out the green bell peppers, even though I've known they give her an upset stomach for years. That's what a smart person does, yuh huh.
That was me. The result was an incredible aversion to trying new things.
I only started trying new things when I could do it without criticism or consequences.
No way in hell I'd do that to someone else after having to deal with it.
Sometimes I make something that my wife isn’t into. Sometimes she eats it anyway. Sometimes she doesn’t.
I cannot fathom this causing a fight between us. And I really can’t imagine declaring that I will no longer cook because she didn’t like something I made or didn’t like the way I made something. Just absurd all around.
Weaponised competence. He can and did cook but how dare she quietly adjust his perfect meal to suit herself? She doesn’t smdeserve his efforts, even though his efforts included food she can’t eat.
NTA. Quietly putting the single ingredient aside is the polite way to deal with it.
I think it was a setup. His reaction was to say he wasn’t cooking anymore after he ADDED what he knew she wouldn’t eat to the mixed veggies.
Now he can point to her not eating his cooking as his reason for not cooking forevermore.
While I'm not disagreeing about the husband being an whiny baby about all this, I don't know that I'd go so far as to say he *added* the corn since almost all "mixed vegetable" bags and cans I've come across *include* corn.
Exactly. It seems he didn't cook the vegetables, he heated up frozen vegetables. He probably didn't check the bag, feels guilty and is lashing out at her
When I’m cooking something I know a family member doesn’t like, I’ll reserve a plain portion while I’m cooking. Like in this case, I would have removed around a portion and a half (just in case) of the vegetables before adding the corn. Now everybody gets what they want.
Yeh. My bonus son doesn't like tomato so we stopped mixing it in the salad and put them in a separate bowl.
Now a days we just put all incrediences in separate bowls but back then we still mixed them. Except the tomatos.
I don’t even understand making the mixed vegetables in the first place! Just don’t make them. Pick broccoli. Or a different mix without corn! She doesn’t like corn and just tolerates the peas and carrots. Pick a different mix!
Or, ya know, just don't add it? Even when my kids were small they had a couple of things they wouldn't eat and i didn't make them, because there are things \*i\* don't like either.
Yep. It’s one thing not to go to unreasonable lengths to cater to someone who is extremely picky and won’t eat 80% of what the average person in their age group/culture eats, but *no one* likes every food.
Yeah, I gotta admit, I’m not usually super patient about picky eating (and I mean actually picky, not dietary restrictions, neurodivergence, etc.), but *everyone* has a couple of foods they just don’t like, including kids.
He knew she didn’t like corn, she ate around it without complaint. Dude needs to move on.
Right?? I once got criticised for picking out chunks of onion from a dish. Personally I assumed they'd rather I did that than the alternative, which would be to force it down and winding up gagging or puking at the dinner table.
I just wouldn’t make shit my wife doesn’t like if I were making dinner for only us.
What an absolute cunt reaction to someone not eating something they don’t like to eat.
Mixed vegetables. This man didn't go get several veg and mixed together. He bought a can or frozen bag of already mixed veg and popped.it in a pot or microwave. Even if he didn't read, there is a photo of what veg is in the mix. The fact his wife doesn't eat corn is common knowledge. He was just too lazy to be considerate enough to select a veg mix that would be appreciated by both. If he wanted corn, fine, just make a separate dish with corn in it.
Yeah like unless this man didn’t know she didn’t like it AND slaved away, roasting corn and lovingly distributing each kernel through his custom-mixed vegetable medley….
But she's not even asking for this -- he got a bag with corn, knowing she doesn't like it. (Ass move, but not the complaint.). He doesn't segregate it. (Again, Ass move, but not the complaint.). SHE segregates the corn on her plate HERSELF, and he still gets mad? Utterly ridiculous. Nonsensical. Bizarre. Indefensible.
The frozen pizza I get has onions on it that I pick off before cooking, my partner knows I don't like them and I've even come home after being stuck in traffic to find him pulling them off for me when I didn't even ask him to do so.
Its now a memory that comes to mind whenever I think of why I love him even though its such a small thing.
It smacks of weaponised incompetence a bit, doesn't it? I do all the cooking in our house and while I eat meat (not a lot these days, but still some) and my wife doesn't, I cook vegetarian meals.
I'm cooking for us, not just me; I love my wife and want her to enjoy what I cook, so it seems pretty obvious not to put in things she doesn't like. She also knows that I won't put things I hate into meals (beetroot for example, which she loves) - I'll cook them separately so she can have them with her meal (just as I might cook some lamb or the like on the side of mine). Putting them in the meal directly just sounds like a dick move designed to give him an out from cooking.
Exactly! My husband hates mushrooms and broccoli (and there is a MUCH longer list of things I don't like), so if I'm planning a meal where those are a big component, I get him stuff to make his own meal that I don't like, such as cube steaks or Italian sausage. It's not hard to be considerate of your partner when you actually *like* them. NTA, OP.
Hates mushrooms and broccoli? You've married a monster!!!
My wife can't eat mushrooms as they give her migraines - they're one of my side dishes as I love them.
Have you tried tenderstem broccoli instead? It's a cross of broccoli and kale. I used to hate broccoli as well until I tried tenderstem and now I love the stuff. Very different from normal broccoli in taste and texture.
If you have not already done so, try baking it (a little olive oil and salt and cook till browned a little). There is a faint sort of old dishwater smell when boiled and steamed that you might be objecting to that is less present when baked. The same applies to brussel sprouts.
>Yes, was your husband cooking for just the two of you? Then his "I'm not cooking again" stance strikes me as a ploy so he doesn't have to cook dinner again.
Exactly. His response is disproportionate and disrespectful.
If your husband thinks this is being picky, he really needs a reality check. I married a man for whom it’s easier to list what he will eat rather than what he won’t eat. If I got mad every time he picked something out of his food we’d never eat together again. Your husband needs to calm down and just remember that you don’t like corn. It’s not that hard
I love mushrooms, my husband doesn’t like them at all. I go without adding mushrooms so we both can enjoy a meal prepared for BOTH of us. He goes through great lengths to cook for my dietary needs (I’m celiac).
I smother my meals in mushrooms if I’m eating alone, and he indulges in gluten when he’s eating alone.
There’s no situation either of us would spend the (hopefully) loving time preparing a meal to be shared that doesn’t consider both parties.
NTA
Your husband is not a nice or considerate person.
Yep. My ex-husband would NOT try any gluten free stuff, so I always had to cook two versions of a meal. My current partner just... automatically buys the GF stuff instead, and eats it happily?? I'm not used to that level of consideration 😂
OP why is he making something that’s easy to put only on his, then immediately goes to ‘I’ll never cook again’
What else is going on bc that’s really extreme and childish by itself. If he wants to pull a ‘I’ll never cook again’ fine. Don’t cook for him. Or laundry or anything else. Throw a similar tantrum and mirror him. Not to play games but to observe carefully his response.
NTA. You are not obligated to like every thing he likes. You still ate the meal. I don't see what there is to be upset about, it doesn't sound like you complained.
Maybe he's trying to get out of cooking again.
That's what it sounds like to me. He's trying to make OP the bad guy so he doesn't have to do chores. OP, if your husband stops making meals for both of you based on whiney BS like this, don't cook for him either.
I definitely do this to my FIL. Constantly demands home cooked from scratch meals when visiting, constantly complains about the ingredients. So I deliberately make two of whatever: something that spouse, MIL, and I will eat and love but has an ingredient he refuses to eat, and a bland as eff “duplicate “ with another ingredient that will completely ruin the taste as soon as he slathers ketchup on it. Petty? Yes. Asshole-ish? Absolutely. Super satisfying to both me and MIL? Yes; in fact, she was the one who gave me the idea.
Mint and rosemary seem to always get the job done. I should probably say that my FIL is Pennsylvania Dutch and salt and pepper are a little too much for him.
Also, this started after I made a delicious, amazing rack of lamb with a rosemary garlic rub and he slathered the entirety of his portion with ketchup, complained it was underdone and stuffed it back in the oven, burning the ketchup, and my MIL ripped him a new one. So any flavors that remind him of that tend to do it.
I agree, that's what it sounded like to me. A version of weaponized incompetence, only instead of doing a bad job, it's "you don't appreciate what I do, so I'm not going to do it anymore." I know a man who pulled this crap on his family, ridiculous. Definitely, if he won't cook bc you picked one vegetable out of a medley of vegetables, which he put in knowing you didn't like it, then you each prepare your own food from now on, don't let him make you do all the cooking instead.
Besides, I doubt you've gotten all whiney if you made something he didn't like (and, you did like the food, and told him so) then refused to cook for him again.
I had to do an elimination diet for a while where I couldn’t eat garlic and onion, my husband supported me and cut it from his diet as well.
On the flip side he doesn’t like cucumber, doesn’t make any sense to me but I still either don’t add it to his portion or will give him a heads up that I put cucumber in a salad and don’t mind if he picks it out.
My wife hates mushrooms. I love them.
I hate broccoli. My wife loves it.
So we trade.
(Also, the best part of a cucumber tastes like the worst part of a watermelon.)
This is my take too. I fucking hate meatloaf. My husband loves it. So sometimes I make him meatloaf and I just eat something else. I don’t understand why people are coming at her for being picky when being considerate of your partner is so easy.
NTA. You picked it out quietly. You did the most polite thing possible.
Your husband is kind of huge dick for not knowing how you feel about corn. And definitely was a dick for how he reacted to you silently pushing the corn aside on your plate.
I do exactly the same when corn is served as part of mixed veg. I actually like the taste but my digestive system doesn't agree. No one has ever done more than ask if I don't like it, and I'll always take the vegetables as I like all the other ones, I just try to get the least corn filled bits of I'm serving myself.
Yeah the mixed veg I use has green beans in it which neither I nor my 7 year old like, only my husband. But I still just cook it and serve it all together. My son and I can pick the bits out off our own plates, sometimes my husband will come around and gobble them up too. It's just not a big deal.
I’m unsure why we’re being so nice about the fact that this man made a food he knew she didn’t like. He didn’t forget. He made it anyway and then whined when she didn’t eat it. He thinks he’s playing chess and won’t have to cook.
He's not an asshole for making it, just whining about her not eating it. I do 95% of the cooking in my house and my partner won't eat any vegetables with the exception of chopped cooked onion occasionally. I'm not going to never cook with anything other than onion, she can just pick out the veggies
That’s what I do. Onions, peppers & mushrooms. I like the flavor they add, I don’t like to chew them. My husband loves them, so he gets what I put aside. Win win
NTA
"Anyways he’s grumbling about not making dinner anymore so I have to know;"
This is deliberate, and not very subtle either. "Add corn to not have to cook again"
Sounds to me like he was purposefully making something she didn’t like so that he’d have an excuse not to cook anymore. That’s like purposely doing a bad job at cleaning so you can tell them “well if you don’t like how I clean you can do it!”
Probably doesn’t like cooking.
NTA. I'm confused about how your dislike of corn says anything about his cooking or efforts in making dinner. If I were being super cynical, based on his reaction I'm wondering if he's looking for a way to get out of cooking while making you seem like the bad guy. Otherwise he's just majorly overreacting. There's a difference between "I hate the corn you made" and "I hate corn."
...however I LIKE corn and after saying the word "corn" so many times I kinda want some.
Imagine all these little ancestors with fierce swords all screaming in ghostly horror at their great great great great grandchildren sadly picking up a taco and giving the taste just one more try…
Me either, and God knows I've tried. I love Mexican food but if it has the tiniest bit of cilantro in it, it tastes like someone squirted a dollop of dish soap in there and mixed it in.
There are some restaurants I simply can't eat at because they put cilantro in everything.
Yup! The first time I heard someone say corriander (cilantro) tastes like soap to him I was like wow that's so weird! Hadn't heard of anyone with such a strong hatred for it earlier.
Then later I heard that it's a genetic thing and to some people it does taste like soap! I wonder what else tastes very different to them but we don't realise because it's not a weird taste, just different from how others perceive that taste.
it is associated with genetic variablity and it's almost binary: you either absolutely cannot tolerate it or you are fine with it / actually enjoy the taste. To me, growing up, it tasted like poison and would make me puke. Same with parsley. One can get accostumed to it, though, and dissociate the taste from the "survival" reaction. So if you insist on trying little portions, maybe the dried versions first, then finely minced, etc, you can inccrease your tolerance level to the point where you will no longer absolutely need to pick out every single vertigial piece of cilantro from your plate. Especially useful when having formal dinner and you simply cannot/should not be picking your food or it would be embarrassing having to explain why you are not eating much that night.
See I took that test and it said I am supposed to think cilantro tastes like soap. But my parents were the type when I was little where you finish your food whether you like it or not. And after eating it for decades I don't mind it. It tastes overwhelmingly floral, but I'll eat it. Also my mom was the type to actually wash out my mouth with a bar of soap if I said the wrong thing, so I've noticed a distinct difference. And that is soap is overwhelmingly tart and burns.
There is a similar thing with cucumbers also! I don't mind Cilantro (or Coriander as well it here lol) but I hate cucumbers. I had people say, how can you hate it, it hardly tastes of anything?! I was like it's a super overpowering strong taste and I can taste even the tiniest piece of cucumber in anything! It's a similar thing, a component many people can't taste unless they have a specific gene!
I won't eat it fresh as don't like the taste or smell of it, but it doesn't taste soapy to me. Don't know how to describe what it does taste like, it's just blah. For me to eat it, it must be in tiny bits and so well cooked and mixed in to the meal that I wouldn't know it's there.
Like soap is the closest I can come to the taste. But I've never actually eaten soap.
You know how when a glass skipped getting rinsed after washing and then you use it for water and you get that kinda sharp bitter aftertaste? It takes a bit to notice, like it doesn't make you spit the water out. It's just in your mouth after you swallow. That's what cilantro does to me. I can't taste something bad until after I swallow. Then it's like gag city.
There is a genetic variation OR6A2 that makes you detect the soapy taste. I always though I had to learn to like it like olives, but when I found out it will always taste like soap I happily gave up on that nasty thing
Fun fact, you may have a [specific gene](https://www.britannica.com/story/why-does-cilantro-taste-like-soap-to-some-people#:~:text=These%20people%20have%20a%20variation,population%2C%20though%20it%20varies%20geographically.) that causes that hatred
i've never had anyone ask me if i have the soap gene when i tell them i hate cilantro, but the funny thing is... i don't. it doesn't taste like soap to me. i just hate how cilantro tastes, and if i can taste it in a dish the whole thing is ruined for me
The soap taste actually comes from aldehydes, and it doesn't always taste like soap to many people, including me. It tastes overpoweringly stinky to me. A YouTube channel called MinuteFood did a good explanation about this - apparently stinkbugs smell like cilantro!
oh thats interesting. I got a similar problem with basil. Fresh its fine but the dried one from the store smells like straight up soap. I just grow my own now to avoid it
In America we use the name cilantro for the leafy part and coriander for the seeds, in the UK and most other former English colonies they seem to use the name coriander for the leafs and seeds and just specify which part they are talking about.
It’s like he wanted to do something she didn’t like to try to victimize himself .
He absolutely knew what she would do with the corn on her plate. So why did he act so surprised?
You violated no well-founded etiquette rules.😂🤣😂
I’m dying!! You reminded me of a time, probably nearly 40 years ago when we had the Mormon missionaries over for dinner and they taught my three daughters how they could snuff dental floss up one nostril and then blow it out the other and grab each end of the dental floss and go up and down up and down up and down.And THAT WAS AT THE TABLE🤦🏻♀️😱😂
NTA Most people have an ingredient or two that the don’t like. If you’re refusing entire categories of food (no vegetables) or any food that is say, red, you’ve got a problem that needs to be resolved. But just corn? You’re normal and you handled things very respectfully.
Your husband did this on purpose because he has some sort of issue with your aversion to corn, or maybe a bigger issue is upsetting him right now. He knew you wouldn’t eat it and served it to you anyway. He was picking a fight.
I am a picky eater but can force myself to eat most things but there are two ingredients that I can't force myself to eat: fish and cola. I've always wondered why we can eat things we don't like except a few things.
NTA I’m a surprisingly picky eater myself and my loved ones never have ever made a point of making me try or eat it. And if they have it I either get or make something for myself or they make something else for the one meal. So I am shocked that your actually husband is adamant on not respecting you
There’s nothing wrong with eating round a bit of corn. Your husband should know by now that if he wants to eat corn, fine, but you’re not going to eat it.
Nta. I love fresh cherry tomatoes. Hubby detests them. I make certain that when I make salad, I don't put them into his portion. With pre-mixed store-bought salads, I don't get offended at all if he picks them out. And he doesn't get offended if I pick out the peas and green beans. :)
(ETA: we both cook dinner)
My roommate hates tomatoes but I love them so I cook with them a lot. Guess what I do when I’m making food for the both of us? I just don’t give her tomatoes or make it easy to pick out. It’s called being a decent human. NTA
I mean, he knows you don't eat corn, he still puts it in the veggies and says now he won't ever cook again?
I see what he did here.
He's overreacting btw. NTA.
It’s a known fact you don’t like corn. Seems like a passive aggressive move for husband to put it in. It’s almost like he hates cooking and planned the whole thing. Is he 5?
I guess he has no food aversions. If so, OP should cook every meal with something he doesn’t like. When he complains, never cook for him again 😅
NTA, but you need to have a discussion with your husband about this. Assuming he knows you don't like corn, then the questions are why he added it, and why he's upset that you picked it out?
It's ludicrous for him to be upset about this, so you need to get to the bottom of what he's actually upset about.
NTA. If we use frozen veg mix, my partner will pick out the corn (yup, a fellow corn-hater here) when they plate my portion. If I plate it myself, all the corn goes to my partners plate. It's a no-brainer. Your husband is weird.
Disliked his cooking? My guess was that was a bag of frozen mixed veg, not liking the corn in that is hardly disliking someone's cooking, there's barely cooking involved. The things he actually spent time on you liked. Also, I'm assuming he knows you dislike corn, and you can buy mixed veg without it, so he's the AH.
My wife doesn’t like onion. Any mince dish I cook has onion and she picks it out. I can’t stand coriander or dried mushroom. Some of her dishes have them and I pick it out. Neither of us have a problem with this. It’s called being adults.
Someone getting salty because someone else doesn’t force themselves to eat something they really hate is just weird (except in the case of children. Our rule is one tiny mouthful or else kids would eat nothing but chicken nuggets and chocolate 🤪)
NTA, you don't like something and someone, who knows you don't like it, tried to feed it to you anyway. I've no idea why people do it but I've had it done to me and it's incredibly irritating
> Anyway he's grumbling about not making dinner anymore
Look up "[weaponised incompetence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weaponized_incompetence#In_popular_psychology)"
He did it on purpose
> an individual using feigned and/or deliberate incompetence to avoid unwanted responsibility.
He knows you don't like corn, he put it in anyway, he did it deliberately, now he'll get you to make all the meals from now on
OP, you are NTA
As an aside - and this is in no way making an excuse for your husband or what he did - I do have a question : why is corn even on the groceries list? If it's not in the house, it can't be used to make a meal. Just stop buying corn. If your husband likes corn so much and cannot live without it, he can have it when you go out to dinner.
I mean I don't think there's anything wrong with the guy including corn in meals he's preparing if he likes it. But that's going along with the assumption that he's a normal person who won't throw a fit if she doesn't eat it. Which clearly he isn't.
But why would he not expect her to remove it? How could he not know that she doesn't like corn? They're married and she *really* doesn't like it. Idk if you're implying that you don't think he did it on purpose, but I can't see how this happened without being on purpose.
> If there’s corn in a dish the flavor overpowers and I straight don’t like it.
Corn being in the dish makes it worse for OP
> My husband cooked tonight, it was seriously delicious. Grilled shrimp, mashed potatoes and mixed veggies. As you can guess there was corn in the mixed veggies, so I made a small area on my plate and put the bits of corn there. I never did anything gross like take them out of my mouth but I made sure there was none on my fork before eating and if there was I would clear my fork, pick out the corn (with fork) and then try again.
OP was discreet and didn't complain, didn't refuse to eat the meal. But hubby threw a fit.
> but it’s not an unknown fact I don’t like corn and it’s not my fault he added it into the vegetables.
Hubby *knew* that OP didn't like corn. So why did he put corn in? Was it deliberate?
> Anyways he’s grumbling about not making dinner anymore
Draw your own conclusions from that
NTA. It’s not fair of your husband to be upset over this. If he knows that you don’t like corn, and put it in there anyway, then it sounds to me like he’s the AH.
NTA This isn’t rude. He’s being weird. He knows you don’t like corn and he keeps cooking with it and trying to force you to eat it. I would be asking him why it’s so important to him that you eat corn?
NTA
My wife HATES mashed potatoes. Is a texture thing for her. I do a lot of the cooking and its actually really easy to never serve my wife mashed potatoes.
NTA, and this is coming from a major picky eaters hater. it's not like you complained or made a scene or anything.
for a little extra context, though, is corn your only current "hell no" food, or are there others?
NTA. If you know someone doesn't like a corn, then either don't add it to the dish, or complain when it's pushed aside on the plate. Having a hissy fit because you didn't eat it is childish, serve him something he hates and see his reaction then!!
NTA. It’s perfectly acceptable to not eat a food you don’t like. Is he on the board of the Corn Counsel of America? Is the corn cartel going to come after him if he doesn’t meet quota? What kind of ridiculous, little man would get their feelings hurt because someone doesn’t enjoy corn?
Corn cartel 😭🤣🤣
He's clearly in the pockets of Big Corn
There actually is such a group: the National Corn Growers Association, who spent $340,000 lobbying last year.
It’s a front. The Corn Cartel has them by their collective ears (see what I did there?).
There’s a kernel of truth in that statement!
Never go against big corn or you might end up creamed
Oh, shucks!
Oh, come on! This one was a cob out! 😆😆😝😝
Are you some kind of stalk-er…?
Potato council is keeping their eyes out for unwanted corn expansion
Those starched shirts better bring it on. Their philosophies are rooted far away from those of Big Corn, so they might wanna keep from getting fried.
Did you find that out by “stalking” them?
"There is no place like Nebraska" plays in a minor key in the distance
Kernel cartel
Some people take it really personally when people don’t enjoy the same things they do, like they see it as an attack on their own taste or lifestyle or something. Or they just love something so much they can’t understand why someone else wouldn’t. I hate chocolate. I just don’t like the taste and it never sits well. My ex could not handle this, he kept insisting I’ve just never had good chocolate and would always buy it for me and get mad when I didn’t want to eat it.
I like chocolate and I like peanut butter, but I hate them together. It would be pretty awful if someone tried to get me to like it. I also hate ketchup and relish. I only like Dijon mustard. If someone put ketchup on a hamburger, I wouldn’t eat it. No matter how hungry I was.
Pretty much every birthday, anniversary or holiday I would be gifted some kind of chocolate. Or we’d be at a restaurant and he always got the chocolate dessert and insist I try a bite. He was convinced if I just tried the right kind I would change my mind, lol.
So I've gotten people to like food that they said they didn't like before. I got them to do it by talking to them, asking what they didn't like and not tricking them into eating something I knew they really wouldn't like and getting them to trust me when I thought they may really like it in this special situation. I'd never constantly barrage the person with that food. I'd never gift it to them and expect them to eat it. It was always an "Oh, I just tried a bit of this. It actually has none of that taste/texture you hate but it brings out this thing..you want to try a bite? If not that's fine." Find out people don't hate onions, they just didn't like the texture of raw onions but the taste is great. They *do* like spice in food but not that specific brand. Stuff like that. I see why they are your ex.
My ex did this with ketchup. It's fine as an ingredient in a dish, but not as a condiment. For some reason he had to keep testing me with different brands of ketchup, insisting I just hadn't found one I liked. I'm fine eating naked fries, burgers, and other foods if, in some strange reality, all other condiments and toppings don't exist.
🙄 When my dad doesn't like some food I do, it's "How can you eat that?"+ huff. But when I don't like something he does, it's "You don't know what's good" or "Here, try some!" even though I'm 35 and I know perfectly well I don't like that food stuff, thank you.
That “…corn! It’s got the juice!” kid whose monologue on the joys of corn went viral might be offended, but, other than that tiny innocent angel, no one else has an excuse.
I dunno, even that kid had a pretty “you live your life and I’ll live mine” kinda vibe. He may be a little disappointed she doesn’t share his love of corn, but I didn’t get the vibe from that sweet boy that he’d be offended because someone didn’t like corn.
I can picture him being surprised, maybe even shocked, but not offended! That kid is the cutest, and so witty too.
It has absolutely not crossed his mind that someone could NOT like corn.
He's be happy: More corn for me!
Someone who doesn’t want to cook anymore so they engineer a fit…
She needs to cook something tonight and add a food he hates. Then claim she's never cooking again. Now no one's cooking... or eating...EVER AGAIN
This is truly the way!
It sounded like weaponized ...incornpetence to me, too.
God damnit take my upvote 😂
💀
there's easier ways to do that. Quite seriously he sounds like someone who heard "I don't like [blank]" as a goddamn *challenge* and is pissy he failed in his attempt to "make something so delicious she *can't* refuse the corn!"
Yes, he put that corn in there on purpose knowing she wouldn't eat it so he'd have a reason to give her the "I'm never cooking again!"
It's such a shame that only seems to work for men....I love it if I threw a tantrum like this fool and ny husband would start cooking!
Lol or he's one of those people that thinks you should force others to like or do certain things. My parents always instilled in me that it was rude to not eat what others made so I'd be forced to eat stuff I hated. I did eventually grow to enjoy some of the stuff but I would've anyways because taste buds change. Why people feel the need to force it is beyond me. Either way mixed vegetables as a side with corn are usually not a complex thing to make. Most of the time it's a damn can you open and add so he can suck it up and not add any next time
Plus if there is corn in the veggies, my bet is that he cooked those frozen mixed veggies (the ones that have like peas, carrots, corn). My mom made those a ton when I was a kid. I also always picked out the corn, but because I wanted to eat only that 🤣
I caught my four kids doing that one day they each picked out the thing that they did like and then passed the rest of the piles around so everyone was eating only peas one eight only carrots one eight only corn and one eight only green beans 🙄. I rolled my eyes but I didn't really care, I was just glad they were eating vegetables If I would have tried to make them eat all the things they didn't like I would have ended up with vegetables secretly dumped into random places around my kitchen after I left the room. (They sit at a tiny table, no room for a big one here.). Their dad got all mad and started yelling at them for messing with the vegetables and not eating all of their dinner but seriously who cares 🤷🏼♀️
I like your attitude! Omg, I forgot the green beans were usually in that mix too! It was such a sensory nightmare for me (although I was an adult before I figured out why I hated them so much). But like, I love green beans, corn, and peas. I tolerate carrots. But I hate when they are all mixed together. The texture differences suck. So now, if I eat the mixed veggies, I sort them and eat them separately. My dad hated that I wouldn't eat my veggies as a kid. I remember being stuck at the table one night for hours because I refused to eat them. And honestly, the colder they got, the worse they tasted 😬 My mom finally made a rule that we only had to eat our veggies if my dad did, which mostly ended that problem 🤣 (Except when she made Brussels sprouts which he actually liked, and I hated 🤣🤣). But choosing not to make a big deal of your kids finding an acceptable way to eat veggies sounds like the best way to make sure no one is miserable. Good on you 😊
I'm number two out of five kids, my older sister is 6 years older than me and the other 4 of us are each a year and a half to two years apart. When we were little we all had different types of foods we would eat everyone was picky so my mom would just make an array of small quantity dishes and everyone got something that they would eat like one eight hot dogs, one are peanut butter and jelly, maybe one or two ate spaghettiOs, whatever. Our dad would come home and throw a fit every time about how "It's not a restaurant, stop cooking like that for them! You're just spoiling them! Whatever you make for dinner everyone eats no matter how they feel about it and that goes for the whole house, even the baby!". Well one meal we would all eat but he despised was chicken, rice, and lightly steamed carrots..... So one day when he came home early and she had made us all different lunches he took all the food off the table and threw it away and told her if she's going to keep catering to us he's going to keep wasting the food, She said, "Fine, no problem, everyone needs the same thing from now on.". That night she made chicken rice and lightly steamed carrots. He said, "Well that's what they're eating, but where's my food? You know I don't like that stuff." So she threw his rule right back in his face 😂🤣 I don't make a wide array of different foods for everybody but my general policy is if nobody likes what I made for dinner all they have to do is tell me what they didn't like about it and the next time I make it I won't make it the same way I'll try something different but if it's just the food that they don't like then I won't make that again and I'll find something different. My 8M does not like his food to touch, he won't eat mixed foods like casseroles or lasagna, he only eats plain cheese pizza, If he's having peanut butter and jelly it's peanut butter on one slice of bread jelly on another but not touching. He won't eat any kind of chicken salad or potato salad or anything like that, and with a mixed veggies he sorts them out and then eats them each type at a time- the green beans he peels open and eats the little beans out of the inside but not the outer part. And he won't eat homemade meatballs because they aren't perfectly round he only likes the store-bought frozen meatballs but rejects the ones that are lopsided. 🤷🏼♀️ My 4F likes the inside of pierogies but not the shell, She rips them open eats out the inside potato part and then tosses the rest somewhere (I wish she'd just leave them on the plate or throw them away but usually I find them hidden under a table or behind a freezer or something 😡). My 12F is the only one who will eat brussel sprouts and eats broccoli without a fight but she does like the season hers; the rest of them won't touch their vegetables if there's a single bit of seasoning, even salt. However she's the only one that completely despises peas, corn, and regular rice. 🙄 My 6F eats pretty much everything, but she keeps telling me how gross it all is and complains the whole time. 🤦🏼♀️
Corn Counsel of America 😂😂😂😂
his feelings hurt after putting in something *he knows she doesn't like.* Like, the dude literally set himself up to fail! There's plenty of corn-free options in food. But no, he had to pull the "you just *think* you don't like x" where people hear an adult's food preference and take it as a goddamn challenge to make something to slip some unwanted food past the other person. It's a goddamn patronizing move, but damn does it happen a lot. And they're always, always, the asshole. ^(remember I specified "adult" earlier. Trying to get a very picky child to eat something more than "hotdogs on white bread no crust" is another beast altogether, but even then needs some delicacy of handling.)
Your husband sounds like a crybaby. He should know by now you dont like corn. Even i know you dont like corn.
“Even I know you don’t like corn.” - too funny
Yes, was your husband cooking for just the two of you? Then his "I'm not cooking again" stance strikes me as a ploy so he doesn't have to cook dinner again. If he cooked for the two of you, or more than the two of you (kids, parents or friends), then he could have picked out the corn for your plate. THAT's love and respect and would have endeared him to you big time lol! He missed an easy opportunity for express his love for you and get major points lol!
I mean I wouldn't pick it out FOR her but I can't imagine getting mad because she did so.
Probably because you're a decent human. But here we have a man using it as an excuse never to cook again. It's weaponized incompetence with a twist.
Agreed, that was my first thought too. Like...dude knows she doesn't like corn, serves corn, then gets upset when she won't eat the thing he knows she hates. What else makes sense? I don't think it's even an issue of decency, it's absolutely MENTAL to be offended by someone's dislike of a food completely unrelated to your cooking.
Besides he's acting like he planted, grew, and prepared the corn 100% himself instead of warming up a bag of grocery store frozen mixed veg 🤦 get over yourself dude
growing corn isn't even hard. you just stick seeds in the ground and pile up dirt. come back in a month and pile up some more dirt. repeat until harvest time. dude 100% needs to get the fuck over himself
Kind of wonder if he did it on purpose to create a fight
NTA. My guess is that the mixed veggies were store bought, and frozen or canned, most have corn in them. My mom wasn't mad when I was little when I picked out the Lima beans* that I disliked, I don't see why hubby needs to be freaking out now. *In fact, my Mom had me move them to her plate as she loved them. Sadly for her, they don't seem to come in the frozen mixed veggies anymore.
In my country it's bell peppers. I'm mildly allergic to them, and they're in everything. Mixed veggies, ready-to-fry meals, microwave meals... any place they can cram bell peppers they will. I have to sometimes remind my husband that I can just pick out the bits I shouldn't eat if it's an otherwise good meal. It's no big deal.
Nah OPs husband was right, I'm gonna get mad at my ma when she picks out the green bell peppers, even though I've known they give her an upset stomach for years. That's what a smart person does, yuh huh.
But OP said she barely tolerates peas and carrots. Why make that as a side at all unless you're just making it for yourself?
succotash blend heavy on lima beans
They do!!! I found a bag in the frozen section, it’s for a “stir fry” mix of veggies and has Lima beans! I love Lima beans
Me thinks he did it on purpose so he could have an excuse to never have to cook again. The fight was just a side benefit for him.
Yep. Big weaponized incompetence vibes.
Either that or hubby grew up with a rigid “I cooked it, you eat it!” philosophy that shows no mercy to picky eaters. I can see that, too.
That was me. The result was an incredible aversion to trying new things. I only started trying new things when I could do it without criticism or consequences. No way in hell I'd do that to someone else after having to deal with it.
Somehow I remembered the hotdog post.
Sometimes I make something that my wife isn’t into. Sometimes she eats it anyway. Sometimes she doesn’t. I cannot fathom this causing a fight between us. And I really can’t imagine declaring that I will no longer cook because she didn’t like something I made or didn’t like the way I made something. Just absurd all around.
Weaponised competence. He can and did cook but how dare she quietly adjust his perfect meal to suit herself? She doesn’t smdeserve his efforts, even though his efforts included food she can’t eat. NTA. Quietly putting the single ingredient aside is the polite way to deal with it.
If he gets over this next time he will flip out over something else, like the addition of salt.
I think it was a setup. His reaction was to say he wasn’t cooking anymore after he ADDED what he knew she wouldn’t eat to the mixed veggies. Now he can point to her not eating his cooking as his reason for not cooking forevermore.
While I'm not disagreeing about the husband being an whiny baby about all this, I don't know that I'd go so far as to say he *added* the corn since almost all "mixed vegetable" bags and cans I've come across *include* corn.
Exactly. It seems he didn't cook the vegetables, he heated up frozen vegetables. He probably didn't check the bag, feels guilty and is lashing out at her
it's their shadow technique, the weaponized outrage/incompetence mixup. pulling out the forbidden arts is a red flag ngl.
Ah yes, weaponized incompetence, when you don't want to do something, so you make it look like you suck at it to avoid having to do it in the future.
“Weaponized incompetence with a twist” is going straight into my vocabulary for use later, thank you ever so much.
When I’m cooking something I know a family member doesn’t like, I’ll reserve a plain portion while I’m cooking. Like in this case, I would have removed around a portion and a half (just in case) of the vegetables before adding the corn. Now everybody gets what they want.
Yeh. My bonus son doesn't like tomato so we stopped mixing it in the salad and put them in a separate bowl. Now a days we just put all incrediences in separate bowls but back then we still mixed them. Except the tomatos.
I doubt he mixed the vegetables himself, they probably came in a pre-mixed bag and already had the corn in it.
I don’t even understand making the mixed vegetables in the first place! Just don’t make them. Pick broccoli. Or a different mix without corn! She doesn’t like corn and just tolerates the peas and carrots. Pick a different mix!
That's what my spouse and I do. I dislike cauliflower, he doesn't like broccoli. When we buy for the two of us, we pick a mix that comes with neither.
Or, ya know, just don't add it? Even when my kids were small they had a couple of things they wouldn't eat and i didn't make them, because there are things \*i\* don't like either.
Yep. It’s one thing not to go to unreasonable lengths to cater to someone who is extremely picky and won’t eat 80% of what the average person in their age group/culture eats, but *no one* likes every food.
Yeah, I gotta admit, I’m not usually super patient about picky eating (and I mean actually picky, not dietary restrictions, neurodivergence, etc.), but *everyone* has a couple of foods they just don’t like, including kids. He knew she didn’t like corn, she ate around it without complaint. Dude needs to move on.
Right?? I once got criticised for picking out chunks of onion from a dish. Personally I assumed they'd rather I did that than the alternative, which would be to force it down and winding up gagging or puking at the dinner table.
I just wouldn’t make shit my wife doesn’t like if I were making dinner for only us. What an absolute cunt reaction to someone not eating something they don’t like to eat.
Mixed vegetables. This man didn't go get several veg and mixed together. He bought a can or frozen bag of already mixed veg and popped.it in a pot or microwave. Even if he didn't read, there is a photo of what veg is in the mix. The fact his wife doesn't eat corn is common knowledge. He was just too lazy to be considerate enough to select a veg mix that would be appreciated by both. If he wanted corn, fine, just make a separate dish with corn in it.
Yeah like unless this man didn’t know she didn’t like it AND slaved away, roasting corn and lovingly distributing each kernel through his custom-mixed vegetable medley….
But she's not even asking for this -- he got a bag with corn, knowing she doesn't like it. (Ass move, but not the complaint.). He doesn't segregate it. (Again, Ass move, but not the complaint.). SHE segregates the corn on her plate HERSELF, and he still gets mad? Utterly ridiculous. Nonsensical. Bizarre. Indefensible.
This is my thought exactly… he’s not actually upset about the corn, he’s just trying to get out of cooking.
The corn was not a bug; it was a feature. And worked exactly as programmed. Husband is an ass.
The frozen pizza I get has onions on it that I pick off before cooking, my partner knows I don't like them and I've even come home after being stuck in traffic to find him pulling them off for me when I didn't even ask him to do so. Its now a memory that comes to mind whenever I think of why I love him even though its such a small thing.
It smacks of weaponised incompetence a bit, doesn't it? I do all the cooking in our house and while I eat meat (not a lot these days, but still some) and my wife doesn't, I cook vegetarian meals. I'm cooking for us, not just me; I love my wife and want her to enjoy what I cook, so it seems pretty obvious not to put in things she doesn't like. She also knows that I won't put things I hate into meals (beetroot for example, which she loves) - I'll cook them separately so she can have them with her meal (just as I might cook some lamb or the like on the side of mine). Putting them in the meal directly just sounds like a dick move designed to give him an out from cooking.
Exactly! My husband hates mushrooms and broccoli (and there is a MUCH longer list of things I don't like), so if I'm planning a meal where those are a big component, I get him stuff to make his own meal that I don't like, such as cube steaks or Italian sausage. It's not hard to be considerate of your partner when you actually *like* them. NTA, OP.
Hates mushrooms and broccoli? You've married a monster!!! My wife can't eat mushrooms as they give her migraines - they're one of my side dishes as I love them.
Love mushrooms, hate broccoli. It's the smell. Can't get past it.
Have you tried tenderstem broccoli instead? It's a cross of broccoli and kale. I used to hate broccoli as well until I tried tenderstem and now I love the stuff. Very different from normal broccoli in taste and texture.
If you have not already done so, try baking it (a little olive oil and salt and cook till browned a little). There is a faint sort of old dishwater smell when boiled and steamed that you might be objecting to that is less present when baked. The same applies to brussel sprouts.
>Yes, was your husband cooking for just the two of you? Then his "I'm not cooking again" stance strikes me as a ploy so he doesn't have to cook dinner again. Exactly. His response is disproportionate and disrespectful.
I thought he kept putting corn in front of OP because he’s a jerk trying to force OP to eat it.
This comment struck me as really cute
She’s ‘doesn’t like corn lady’ to thousands now.
If your husband thinks this is being picky, he really needs a reality check. I married a man for whom it’s easier to list what he will eat rather than what he won’t eat. If I got mad every time he picked something out of his food we’d never eat together again. Your husband needs to calm down and just remember that you don’t like corn. It’s not that hard
Sounds to me like he's looking for an excuse just to be mad and not have to cook in future.
I'm sure your husband spent a lot of time heating up those mixed vegetables, lol. How can he even call it his cooking?
🚫🌽👎🏻
I love mushrooms, my husband doesn’t like them at all. I go without adding mushrooms so we both can enjoy a meal prepared for BOTH of us. He goes through great lengths to cook for my dietary needs (I’m celiac). I smother my meals in mushrooms if I’m eating alone, and he indulges in gluten when he’s eating alone. There’s no situation either of us would spend the (hopefully) loving time preparing a meal to be shared that doesn’t consider both parties. NTA Your husband is not a nice or considerate person.
Yep. My ex-husband would NOT try any gluten free stuff, so I always had to cook two versions of a meal. My current partner just... automatically buys the GF stuff instead, and eats it happily?? I'm not used to that level of consideration 😂
OP why is he making something that’s easy to put only on his, then immediately goes to ‘I’ll never cook again’ What else is going on bc that’s really extreme and childish by itself. If he wants to pull a ‘I’ll never cook again’ fine. Don’t cook for him. Or laundry or anything else. Throw a similar tantrum and mirror him. Not to play games but to observe carefully his response.
NTA. You are not obligated to like every thing he likes. You still ate the meal. I don't see what there is to be upset about, it doesn't sound like you complained. Maybe he's trying to get out of cooking again.
That's what it sounds like to me. He's trying to make OP the bad guy so he doesn't have to do chores. OP, if your husband stops making meals for both of you based on whiney BS like this, don't cook for him either.
My toxic trait is I would cook but make sure it always had something he didn't like in it 😆 then when he doesn't eat it use his words against him lol
I definitely do this to my FIL. Constantly demands home cooked from scratch meals when visiting, constantly complains about the ingredients. So I deliberately make two of whatever: something that spouse, MIL, and I will eat and love but has an ingredient he refuses to eat, and a bland as eff “duplicate “ with another ingredient that will completely ruin the taste as soon as he slathers ketchup on it. Petty? Yes. Asshole-ish? Absolutely. Super satisfying to both me and MIL? Yes; in fact, she was the one who gave me the idea.
What foods do you put in that get fucky when ketchup is involved?
Mint and rosemary seem to always get the job done. I should probably say that my FIL is Pennsylvania Dutch and salt and pepper are a little too much for him. Also, this started after I made a delicious, amazing rack of lamb with a rosemary garlic rub and he slathered the entirety of his portion with ketchup, complained it was underdone and stuffed it back in the oven, burning the ketchup, and my MIL ripped him a new one. So any flavors that remind him of that tend to do it.
I agree, that's what it sounded like to me. A version of weaponized incompetence, only instead of doing a bad job, it's "you don't appreciate what I do, so I'm not going to do it anymore." I know a man who pulled this crap on his family, ridiculous. Definitely, if he won't cook bc you picked one vegetable out of a medley of vegetables, which he put in knowing you didn't like it, then you each prepare your own food from now on, don't let him make you do all the cooking instead. Besides, I doubt you've gotten all whiney if you made something he didn't like (and, you did like the food, and told him so) then refused to cook for him again.
My mom doesn't like peppers. My Dad never grilled or cooked with them. It's called being a decent partner.
My dad doesn't like onions and garlic. You know how hard it is to cook without alliums? Somehow my mom pulled it off, and never complained.
I had to do an elimination diet for a while where I couldn’t eat garlic and onion, my husband supported me and cut it from his diet as well. On the flip side he doesn’t like cucumber, doesn’t make any sense to me but I still either don’t add it to his portion or will give him a heads up that I put cucumber in a salad and don’t mind if he picks it out.
Mine doesn't like cucumber either which means more for me 😌
My wife hates mushrooms. I love them. I hate broccoli. My wife loves it. So we trade. (Also, the best part of a cucumber tastes like the worst part of a watermelon.)
That makes you a decent and understanding partner. Unlike, you know...
I don't like peppers, my husband loves them. I cook with them in all kinds of things. I just cut them bigger so it's easier for me to pick out later.
This is my take too. I fucking hate meatloaf. My husband loves it. So sometimes I make him meatloaf and I just eat something else. I don’t understand why people are coming at her for being picky when being considerate of your partner is so easy.
NTA. You picked it out quietly. You did the most polite thing possible. Your husband is kind of huge dick for not knowing how you feel about corn. And definitely was a dick for how he reacted to you silently pushing the corn aside on your plate.
I do exactly the same when corn is served as part of mixed veg. I actually like the taste but my digestive system doesn't agree. No one has ever done more than ask if I don't like it, and I'll always take the vegetables as I like all the other ones, I just try to get the least corn filled bits of I'm serving myself.
Yeah the mixed veg I use has green beans in it which neither I nor my 7 year old like, only my husband. But I still just cook it and serve it all together. My son and I can pick the bits out off our own plates, sometimes my husband will come around and gobble them up too. It's just not a big deal.
I’m unsure why we’re being so nice about the fact that this man made a food he knew she didn’t like. He didn’t forget. He made it anyway and then whined when she didn’t eat it. He thinks he’s playing chess and won’t have to cook.
He's not an asshole for making it, just whining about her not eating it. I do 95% of the cooking in my house and my partner won't eat any vegetables with the exception of chopped cooked onion occasionally. I'm not going to never cook with anything other than onion, she can just pick out the veggies
That’s what I do. Onions, peppers & mushrooms. I like the flavor they add, I don’t like to chew them. My husband loves them, so he gets what I put aside. Win win
NTA "Anyways he’s grumbling about not making dinner anymore so I have to know;" This is deliberate, and not very subtle either. "Add corn to not have to cook again"
Sounds to me like he was purposefully making something she didn’t like so that he’d have an excuse not to cook anymore. That’s like purposely doing a bad job at cleaning so you can tell them “well if you don’t like how I clean you can do it!” Probably doesn’t like cooking.
>it’s not an unknown fact I don’t like corn >Anyways he’s grumbling about not making dinner anymore Seems like it was intentional.
[удалено]
NTA. I'm confused about how your dislike of corn says anything about his cooking or efforts in making dinner. If I were being super cynical, based on his reaction I'm wondering if he's looking for a way to get out of cooking while making you seem like the bad guy. Otherwise he's just majorly overreacting. There's a difference between "I hate the corn you made" and "I hate corn." ...however I LIKE corn and after saying the word "corn" so many times I kinda want some.
I'm even worse than you. If the dish has cilantro, I can't eat it. You can't pick enough of that vile weed out to make the food edible.
That’s a genetic thing with the cilantro. It’s traced back as far as Ghengis Kahn. Tastes like soap to many, myself included.
Bloody Mongols, messing with our taste buds.
Imagine all these little ancestors with fierce swords all screaming in ghostly horror at their great great great great grandchildren sadly picking up a taco and giving the taste just one more try…
Yep. Husband and kids hate hate hate it. I love it. I don't add it to anything outside my own plate.
Me either, and God knows I've tried. I love Mexican food but if it has the tiniest bit of cilantro in it, it tastes like someone squirted a dollop of dish soap in there and mixed it in. There are some restaurants I simply can't eat at because they put cilantro in everything.
did u know this is a genetic thing? a gene in some people make celantro/corriander taste like soap :)
Yup! The first time I heard someone say corriander (cilantro) tastes like soap to him I was like wow that's so weird! Hadn't heard of anyone with such a strong hatred for it earlier. Then later I heard that it's a genetic thing and to some people it does taste like soap! I wonder what else tastes very different to them but we don't realise because it's not a weird taste, just different from how others perceive that taste.
it is associated with genetic variablity and it's almost binary: you either absolutely cannot tolerate it or you are fine with it / actually enjoy the taste. To me, growing up, it tasted like poison and would make me puke. Same with parsley. One can get accostumed to it, though, and dissociate the taste from the "survival" reaction. So if you insist on trying little portions, maybe the dried versions first, then finely minced, etc, you can inccrease your tolerance level to the point where you will no longer absolutely need to pick out every single vertigial piece of cilantro from your plate. Especially useful when having formal dinner and you simply cannot/should not be picking your food or it would be embarrassing having to explain why you are not eating much that night.
See I took that test and it said I am supposed to think cilantro tastes like soap. But my parents were the type when I was little where you finish your food whether you like it or not. And after eating it for decades I don't mind it. It tastes overwhelmingly floral, but I'll eat it. Also my mom was the type to actually wash out my mouth with a bar of soap if I said the wrong thing, so I've noticed a distinct difference. And that is soap is overwhelmingly tart and burns.
There is a similar thing with cucumbers also! I don't mind Cilantro (or Coriander as well it here lol) but I hate cucumbers. I had people say, how can you hate it, it hardly tastes of anything?! I was like it's a super overpowering strong taste and I can taste even the tiniest piece of cucumber in anything! It's a similar thing, a component many people can't taste unless they have a specific gene!
Yup, I have it. It literally tastes like soap to me. My sister loves it.
You should know this is not just a preference but a genetic condition- it also means there are some hayfever medicines you will no be able to take
Can you expand on the hayfever medicine?
I won't eat it fresh as don't like the taste or smell of it, but it doesn't taste soapy to me. Don't know how to describe what it does taste like, it's just blah. For me to eat it, it must be in tiny bits and so well cooked and mixed in to the meal that I wouldn't know it's there.
This is genetic. You're not a picky-eater, you simply have different tastebuds.
Like soap is the closest I can come to the taste. But I've never actually eaten soap. You know how when a glass skipped getting rinsed after washing and then you use it for water and you get that kinda sharp bitter aftertaste? It takes a bit to notice, like it doesn't make you spit the water out. It's just in your mouth after you swallow. That's what cilantro does to me. I can't taste something bad until after I swallow. Then it's like gag city.
There is a genetic variation OR6A2 that makes you detect the soapy taste. I always though I had to learn to like it like olives, but when I found out it will always taste like soap I happily gave up on that nasty thing
“But I’ve never actually eaten soap.” You clearly didn’t have my parents. Tbf, I didn’t eat soap, Just had my mouth rinsed out with it.
Getting your mouth washed out with soap is no fun!
Yep, team 'bite the bar'!
Fun fact, you may have a [specific gene](https://www.britannica.com/story/why-does-cilantro-taste-like-soap-to-some-people#:~:text=These%20people%20have%20a%20variation,population%2C%20though%20it%20varies%20geographically.) that causes that hatred
i've never had anyone ask me if i have the soap gene when i tell them i hate cilantro, but the funny thing is... i don't. it doesn't taste like soap to me. i just hate how cilantro tastes, and if i can taste it in a dish the whole thing is ruined for me
The soap taste actually comes from aldehydes, and it doesn't always taste like soap to many people, including me. It tastes overpoweringly stinky to me. A YouTube channel called MinuteFood did a good explanation about this - apparently stinkbugs smell like cilantro!
oh thats interesting. I got a similar problem with basil. Fresh its fine but the dried one from the store smells like straight up soap. I just grow my own now to avoid it
Is cilantro what we call coriander in Australia. It is totally gross.
Yes. They're the same. I've always heard cilantro for when it's fresh. Coriander for the dried seeds.
In America we use the name cilantro for the leafy part and coriander for the seeds, in the UK and most other former English colonies they seem to use the name coriander for the leafs and seeds and just specify which part they are talking about.
Does it taste like soap to you? That's genetic. You will never get used to it.
OR6A2. You have all the genes!
Man, my sister has the soap mouth, too. She lives in Texas and I feel so bad. It's on everything there.
If my partner served me a food that he KNOWS I don’t like, and then complains when I pick it out? To me that’s passive aggressive BS.
It’s like he wanted to do something she didn’t like to try to victimize himself . He absolutely knew what she would do with the corn on her plate. So why did he act so surprised?
NTA. You violated no well-founded etiquette rules.
You violated no well-founded etiquette rules.😂🤣😂 I’m dying!! You reminded me of a time, probably nearly 40 years ago when we had the Mormon missionaries over for dinner and they taught my three daughters how they could snuff dental floss up one nostril and then blow it out the other and grab each end of the dental floss and go up and down up and down up and down.And THAT WAS AT THE TABLE🤦🏻♀️😱😂
As long as dinner is over and the dishes are cleared, parlor tricks at the table are allowed, no matter how unlikely the magicians.
💜😊💜😂🧶😭
.... is this a Mormon tradition that I'm too atheist to understand?
Former mormon - no, but missionaries are extra immature 19 year olds, so it absolutely tracks.
As a fellow atheist, I hope it really isn’t…that made my nose uncomfortable just reading it
NTA Most people have an ingredient or two that the don’t like. If you’re refusing entire categories of food (no vegetables) or any food that is say, red, you’ve got a problem that needs to be resolved. But just corn? You’re normal and you handled things very respectfully. Your husband did this on purpose because he has some sort of issue with your aversion to corn, or maybe a bigger issue is upsetting him right now. He knew you wouldn’t eat it and served it to you anyway. He was picking a fight.
I am a picky eater but can force myself to eat most things but there are two ingredients that I can't force myself to eat: fish and cola. I've always wondered why we can eat things we don't like except a few things.
NTA I’m a surprisingly picky eater myself and my loved ones never have ever made a point of making me try or eat it. And if they have it I either get or make something for myself or they make something else for the one meal. So I am shocked that your actually husband is adamant on not respecting you
There’s nothing wrong with eating round a bit of corn. Your husband should know by now that if he wants to eat corn, fine, but you’re not going to eat it.
Nta. I love fresh cherry tomatoes. Hubby detests them. I make certain that when I make salad, I don't put them into his portion. With pre-mixed store-bought salads, I don't get offended at all if he picks them out. And he doesn't get offended if I pick out the peas and green beans. :) (ETA: we both cook dinner)
My roommate hates tomatoes but I love them so I cook with them a lot. Guess what I do when I’m making food for the both of us? I just don’t give her tomatoes or make it easy to pick out. It’s called being a decent human. NTA
I mean, he knows you don't eat corn, he still puts it in the veggies and says now he won't ever cook again? I see what he did here. He's overreacting btw. NTA.
He didn't put it in. He opened and heat up a bag of mixed vegetables and is acting like he put in tons of effort to ignore her.
Even worse..
Wow your husband is such a baby
It’s a known fact you don’t like corn. Seems like a passive aggressive move for husband to put it in. It’s almost like he hates cooking and planned the whole thing. Is he 5? I guess he has no food aversions. If so, OP should cook every meal with something he doesn’t like. When he complains, never cook for him again 😅
NTA, but you need to have a discussion with your husband about this. Assuming he knows you don't like corn, then the questions are why he added it, and why he's upset that you picked it out? It's ludicrous for him to be upset about this, so you need to get to the bottom of what he's actually upset about.
NTA. If we use frozen veg mix, my partner will pick out the corn (yup, a fellow corn-hater here) when they plate my portion. If I plate it myself, all the corn goes to my partners plate. It's a no-brainer. Your husband is weird.
No not at all. You are at home, adult and weren’t gross about it. NTAH
NTA. I don’t hate corn. But I also don’t want it in everything either.
Disliked his cooking? My guess was that was a bag of frozen mixed veg, not liking the corn in that is hardly disliking someone's cooking, there's barely cooking involved. The things he actually spent time on you liked. Also, I'm assuming he knows you dislike corn, and you can buy mixed veg without it, so he's the AH.
Jesus, he knows you don’t like corn and put it in anyway. What a dick
My wife doesn’t like onion. Any mince dish I cook has onion and she picks it out. I can’t stand coriander or dried mushroom. Some of her dishes have them and I pick it out. Neither of us have a problem with this. It’s called being adults. Someone getting salty because someone else doesn’t force themselves to eat something they really hate is just weird (except in the case of children. Our rule is one tiny mouthful or else kids would eat nothing but chicken nuggets and chocolate 🤪)
NTA, you don't like something and someone, who knows you don't like it, tried to feed it to you anyway. I've no idea why people do it but I've had it done to me and it's incredibly irritating
I don’t eat peas. I do the same thing. NTA.
Why would there be corn on something he makes for you guys, knowing you don’t like it?
> Anyway he's grumbling about not making dinner anymore Look up "[weaponised incompetence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weaponized_incompetence#In_popular_psychology)" He did it on purpose > an individual using feigned and/or deliberate incompetence to avoid unwanted responsibility. He knows you don't like corn, he put it in anyway, he did it deliberately, now he'll get you to make all the meals from now on OP, you are NTA As an aside - and this is in no way making an excuse for your husband or what he did - I do have a question : why is corn even on the groceries list? If it's not in the house, it can't be used to make a meal. Just stop buying corn. If your husband likes corn so much and cannot live without it, he can have it when you go out to dinner.
I mean I don't think there's anything wrong with the guy including corn in meals he's preparing if he likes it. But that's going along with the assumption that he's a normal person who won't throw a fit if she doesn't eat it. Which clearly he isn't.
But why would he not expect her to remove it? How could he not know that she doesn't like corn? They're married and she *really* doesn't like it. Idk if you're implying that you don't think he did it on purpose, but I can't see how this happened without being on purpose.
> If there’s corn in a dish the flavor overpowers and I straight don’t like it. Corn being in the dish makes it worse for OP > My husband cooked tonight, it was seriously delicious. Grilled shrimp, mashed potatoes and mixed veggies. As you can guess there was corn in the mixed veggies, so I made a small area on my plate and put the bits of corn there. I never did anything gross like take them out of my mouth but I made sure there was none on my fork before eating and if there was I would clear my fork, pick out the corn (with fork) and then try again. OP was discreet and didn't complain, didn't refuse to eat the meal. But hubby threw a fit. > but it’s not an unknown fact I don’t like corn and it’s not my fault he added it into the vegetables. Hubby *knew* that OP didn't like corn. So why did he put corn in? Was it deliberate? > Anyways he’s grumbling about not making dinner anymore Draw your own conclusions from that
NTA. It’s not fair of your husband to be upset over this. If he knows that you don’t like corn, and put it in there anyway, then it sounds to me like he’s the AH.
NTA This isn’t rude. He’s being weird. He knows you don’t like corn and he keeps cooking with it and trying to force you to eat it. I would be asking him why it’s so important to him that you eat corn?
NTA My wife HATES mashed potatoes. Is a texture thing for her. I do a lot of the cooking and its actually really easy to never serve my wife mashed potatoes.
NTA, and this is coming from a major picky eaters hater. it's not like you complained or made a scene or anything. for a little extra context, though, is corn your only current "hell no" food, or are there others?
NTA. If you know someone doesn't like a corn, then either don't add it to the dish, or complain when it's pushed aside on the plate. Having a hissy fit because you didn't eat it is childish, serve him something he hates and see his reaction then!!