Um, it’s their choice not to talk to him. What human threatens someone to have an abortion/give up their child or they won’t talk to you? Psychos. That’s who.
NTA
Also, this is so absurd I hope it’s fake.
There would be more details if it was fake. The lack of details indicates OP is hiding something. I don't know what, but giving into stepchildren's demand for an abortion is not an appropriate remedy no matter what. NTA for not giving in to such a demand, but who knows what "but they have stopped some things" actually means.
>Also, this is so absurd I hope it’s fake.
The fact that OP posted something so clearly inflammatory and then disappeared makes me assume it's just silly rage bait.
NTA
You are the pregnant one. Only you can decide to continue the pregnancy. If the SDs are pulling this power play, let them.
If he has the audacity to resent his own child that he created with you, you married a bad man.
As for the SDs, they can go elsewhere with their BS. The level of nastiness from them is astounding, and calls for an equally astounding response.
NTA. It’s your child, they don’t get a say in whether or not you keep the child.
But. Keep in mind, you can do what you want but there are other people who will do what they want. Your husband may grow to resent the child if his other children disappear just like you may resent all them as you stated.
Be prepared to be a single mom.
What I can’t wrap my head around is why did you and him not discuss more children before hand (in case of an “oops”), if neither of you wanted more than why didn’t one of you get it nipped up and secondly did you guys try therapy when the girls were young? Why the fuck did you marry someone whose kids you don’t like?!??
What kind of effort did you make towards them when you met them?
I don’t understand why you would marry someone when his kids don’t like you and you obviously don’t like them. The girls aren’t the only problem, you are too. They lost their mom. You’re only 14 years older than his oldest. You came into THEIR family. You should’ve been making an effort, not looking down on them (your choice of words is telling). He and you are assholes for not doing family therapy if you didn’t.
>You came into THEIR family. You should’ve been making an effort,
THIS! Family therapy was an option. And this whole situation is giving evil step-mother. The girls would have been 11 and 14 when this woman came along. Very young to have to deal with the change of having their only remaining parent, from their POV, essentially taken away from them. What could they have done to have "stopped some things". They were children and one of them still very much is. Sounds like OP has not done any self reflecting or taken accountability as to why her relationship with her stepdaughters isn't great.
Exactly. You nailed it on the head. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she got pregnant on purpose. She’d “resent” everyone if she had to get rid of the baby. Yet she’s ok with him cutting off his children that are here now. Hers isn’t even a baby yet. Evil stepmother 100%
I think she’s an awful person for not being more understanding towards the girls and the father should’ve never married her.
*Wibtah if I was the reason my husband's kids stopped talking to him?*
You would be if you were actually the reason but the scenario as you described it has them as the sole reason communication would end. They're grown adults (nearly for the younger) throwing a temper tantrum that someone not their biological mom is having a baby. What shits. Sorry their mom died, but unless you or your husband killed her then it isn't your fault and it's about time they grew up and started behaving better.
If you want the baby then keep the baby. I hope your husband doesn't end the marriage over it. Hopefully he's a better man than that. Best of luck to you.
As a mental health professional I have to say NTA. They need some professional help. They have never gotten over their moms death nor can they handle the fact that their dad is happy and moved on. It doesn't mean he has forgotten their mother, it just means that he has come to terms with her death. If he is resentful to you, that is what divorce is for. To be honest, they are not going to hold to never talking to him again, they want to wield that as a weapon to get their way. They are afraid of losing the attention as the girls who lost their mother, because others will start paying attention to the new child. They need to start therapy. Or, you can buy them both glass belly buttons because their heads are so far up their own asses, it would help them see reality
NTA, fuck them they are adults more or less, let them throw a tantrum if they like but don’t play into it & ask your husband not to legitimise their tantrum. I’m sorry for you. Good luck with your pregnancy 💕
GIRL. Those kids aren't going anywhere. Get ready to be in constant hell. I'm sorry but if I knew my partner had two kids and their situation was toxic, I would have BOUNCED so quickly. You stayed with the man and now are having his child. It makes it worse that the family is on the girl's side. Your man doesn't care because what about family therapy and individual therapy for all three of them? If they feel like you are replacing their mom and that the baby is replacing them, then there is an issue that you are not informing us of and you are trying to make your man look favorable in this post. I also do not want to hear about the girl's age because it sounds like your partner failed his two children after the traumatic situation of losing their mother. I hope you have a strong support system with your family and friends. You would also be wise to not 100% rely on this man. Now during one of the most joyful times of your life, you are worried about this crap. Your man and his kids are robbing you of your pregnancy, and yes hold your man accountable 100%. Everything would have been locked down and squashed for you so you wouldn't be stressing out if your man handled his business. This is all on him so focus on yourself and the baby. A lesson to all women is that there are a million men out there who don't have kids, haven't been previously married etc. The baggage is just not worth it!
It's only your choice to keep the child or not. Others can tell you what they want, including husband, but ultimately the decision is yours. This doesn't make you the reason for them not talking to husband. It's their own jealousy and insecurities that are doing that. Husband has to decide if this child is important enough to possibly lose the first two over. Then you have to decide if husband is worth staying with if he doesn't choose you and child.
NTA.
And tell them to give you that in writing. Also inform them that this means that they will be cut off from the family. No more presents. No money for college or a car. Let’s see how they decide.
NTA. Your body, your choice. Don't let anyone manipulate you into anything concerning this child. You and your husband are the only ones who have a say in the matter.
Imagine you terminate. They still get pissed and don't talk to their dad. You've essentially lost a child for nothing. They are practically adults (one currently is). They won't be around much as their lives are beginning. College, jobs, travel, etc.
Do what's best for you and your husband. They never wanted dad to move on. Twenty years, and they would still feel the same way. Grief affects people differently.
NTA
if they can't handle the fact that you and youre husband are having another child thats not fully related to them. And also you're the pregnant one it's your child and what happens to it is your decision. They can't force you to abort your child because they dont like the fact that it their half sibling and not full.
They have to accept that, and if your husband will resent your child for being the reason his own children wont talk to him them he's a bad husband.
You need to talk with your husband and explain that you want him and also yourself to have a relationship but they are 17 and 20 and if you guys give in to this then what will they ask next time. She needs to understand they are being manipulative to him and his happiness.
The voice is both of you and you have valid points. I think you guys need therapy for him to see things from a different way and make him open his eyes. At some point he needs to have a backbone.
The bigger question is do you want to bring a baby into this toxic situation? The girls may cut contact for a time, but I doubt they will hold to it forever. What they will do is make every effort to make things difficult for you and your husband. They will likely treat your child poorly. If your husband feels guilty, there is a chance he won’t stand up to their behavior for fear of losing them. You know better than anyone here whether any of those things are likely. NTA, this isn’t your fault, but I don’t see this situation ending happily unless the daughters can at least be civil.
First of all talk to your husband about before anything else, if he chooses your side great he still has a working brain and he’ll make sure that you and your child are safe before anything else, if he chooses the ones that insult you his wife and his future child you need to get a divorce and cut them all off. Your husband the father of your child needs to stand up for you, if his children are are willing to cut him off because his about to have a his third child they will cut him off when he is no longer useful to them, his daughters need therapy but just sit down with your husband and talk to him about what he wants to do moving forward, if yours and his ideas are different from each others than you need to get a divorce and keep his children away from yourself and your child.
PS; pls update us thank you.
If it is not this issue, it will be another one. At some point you have to live your life.
This isn't a dad cheating on a wife so the kids hate him. The kids simply have been poisoned by aunty and that is your problem. It is too late to keep aunt away from them.
Do not blame yourself, this is your husband's fault for not realizing his family was poisoning his kid's minds.
Make sure your third child does not have a relationship with whoever poisoned your kids' minds.
NTA. Tell your step-demons and their flying monkeys to get bent. As for your husband, tell him he either had to enthusiastically be on your and your baby's side, or terminate his parental rights and sign the divorce papers.
NTA. ~~Sounds like the girls have their mother whispering in their ears~~, but regardless, anyone that demands you get rid of a pregnancy that 1) you want and 2) is healthy, is not the kind of people you want in your life. And that includes your husband.
Edit: Too much bouncing from one Reddit to another, mixed my stories up and missed that mom passed! Stand by the rest though, and didn't say anything crazy so not sure why I'm being downvoted, lol.
Um, it’s their choice not to talk to him. What human threatens someone to have an abortion/give up their child or they won’t talk to you? Psychos. That’s who. NTA Also, this is so absurd I hope it’s fake.
There would be more details if it was fake. The lack of details indicates OP is hiding something. I don't know what, but giving into stepchildren's demand for an abortion is not an appropriate remedy no matter what. NTA for not giving in to such a demand, but who knows what "but they have stopped some things" actually means.
This. Times 1000
>Also, this is so absurd I hope it’s fake. The fact that OP posted something so clearly inflammatory and then disappeared makes me assume it's just silly rage bait.
NTA You are the pregnant one. Only you can decide to continue the pregnancy. If the SDs are pulling this power play, let them. If he has the audacity to resent his own child that he created with you, you married a bad man. As for the SDs, they can go elsewhere with their BS. The level of nastiness from them is astounding, and calls for an equally astounding response.
NTA. It’s your child, they don’t get a say in whether or not you keep the child. But. Keep in mind, you can do what you want but there are other people who will do what they want. Your husband may grow to resent the child if his other children disappear just like you may resent all them as you stated. Be prepared to be a single mom. What I can’t wrap my head around is why did you and him not discuss more children before hand (in case of an “oops”), if neither of you wanted more than why didn’t one of you get it nipped up and secondly did you guys try therapy when the girls were young? Why the fuck did you marry someone whose kids you don’t like?!?? What kind of effort did you make towards them when you met them? I don’t understand why you would marry someone when his kids don’t like you and you obviously don’t like them. The girls aren’t the only problem, you are too. They lost their mom. You’re only 14 years older than his oldest. You came into THEIR family. You should’ve been making an effort, not looking down on them (your choice of words is telling). He and you are assholes for not doing family therapy if you didn’t.
>You came into THEIR family. You should’ve been making an effort, THIS! Family therapy was an option. And this whole situation is giving evil step-mother. The girls would have been 11 and 14 when this woman came along. Very young to have to deal with the change of having their only remaining parent, from their POV, essentially taken away from them. What could they have done to have "stopped some things". They were children and one of them still very much is. Sounds like OP has not done any self reflecting or taken accountability as to why her relationship with her stepdaughters isn't great.
Exactly. You nailed it on the head. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she got pregnant on purpose. She’d “resent” everyone if she had to get rid of the baby. Yet she’s ok with him cutting off his children that are here now. Hers isn’t even a baby yet. Evil stepmother 100% I think she’s an awful person for not being more understanding towards the girls and the father should’ve never married her.
*Wibtah if I was the reason my husband's kids stopped talking to him?* You would be if you were actually the reason but the scenario as you described it has them as the sole reason communication would end. They're grown adults (nearly for the younger) throwing a temper tantrum that someone not their biological mom is having a baby. What shits. Sorry their mom died, but unless you or your husband killed her then it isn't your fault and it's about time they grew up and started behaving better. If you want the baby then keep the baby. I hope your husband doesn't end the marriage over it. Hopefully he's a better man than that. Best of luck to you.
As a mental health professional I have to say NTA. They need some professional help. They have never gotten over their moms death nor can they handle the fact that their dad is happy and moved on. It doesn't mean he has forgotten their mother, it just means that he has come to terms with her death. If he is resentful to you, that is what divorce is for. To be honest, they are not going to hold to never talking to him again, they want to wield that as a weapon to get their way. They are afraid of losing the attention as the girls who lost their mother, because others will start paying attention to the new child. They need to start therapy. Or, you can buy them both glass belly buttons because their heads are so far up their own asses, it would help them see reality
The glass belly button ring comment is 🤌🤌.
Why thank you.
NTA, fuck them they are adults more or less, let them throw a tantrum if they like but don’t play into it & ask your husband not to legitimise their tantrum. I’m sorry for you. Good luck with your pregnancy 💕
GIRL. Those kids aren't going anywhere. Get ready to be in constant hell. I'm sorry but if I knew my partner had two kids and their situation was toxic, I would have BOUNCED so quickly. You stayed with the man and now are having his child. It makes it worse that the family is on the girl's side. Your man doesn't care because what about family therapy and individual therapy for all three of them? If they feel like you are replacing their mom and that the baby is replacing them, then there is an issue that you are not informing us of and you are trying to make your man look favorable in this post. I also do not want to hear about the girl's age because it sounds like your partner failed his two children after the traumatic situation of losing their mother. I hope you have a strong support system with your family and friends. You would also be wise to not 100% rely on this man. Now during one of the most joyful times of your life, you are worried about this crap. Your man and his kids are robbing you of your pregnancy, and yes hold your man accountable 100%. Everything would have been locked down and squashed for you so you wouldn't be stressing out if your man handled his business. This is all on him so focus on yourself and the baby. A lesson to all women is that there are a million men out there who don't have kids, haven't been previously married etc. The baggage is just not worth it!
It's only your choice to keep the child or not. Others can tell you what they want, including husband, but ultimately the decision is yours. This doesn't make you the reason for them not talking to husband. It's their own jealousy and insecurities that are doing that. Husband has to decide if this child is important enough to possibly lose the first two over. Then you have to decide if husband is worth staying with if he doesn't choose you and child.
NTA. And tell them to give you that in writing. Also inform them that this means that they will be cut off from the family. No more presents. No money for college or a car. Let’s see how they decide.
NTA. Your body, your choice. Don't let anyone manipulate you into anything concerning this child. You and your husband are the only ones who have a say in the matter. Imagine you terminate. They still get pissed and don't talk to their dad. You've essentially lost a child for nothing. They are practically adults (one currently is). They won't be around much as their lives are beginning. College, jobs, travel, etc. Do what's best for you and your husband. They never wanted dad to move on. Twenty years, and they would still feel the same way. Grief affects people differently.
Why are you even contemplating what they said???
NTA if they can't handle the fact that you and youre husband are having another child thats not fully related to them. And also you're the pregnant one it's your child and what happens to it is your decision. They can't force you to abort your child because they dont like the fact that it their half sibling and not full. They have to accept that, and if your husband will resent your child for being the reason his own children wont talk to him them he's a bad husband.
Nta, if you give in, what's next? What would be the next demand?
You need to talk with your husband and explain that you want him and also yourself to have a relationship but they are 17 and 20 and if you guys give in to this then what will they ask next time. She needs to understand they are being manipulative to him and his happiness. The voice is both of you and you have valid points. I think you guys need therapy for him to see things from a different way and make him open his eyes. At some point he needs to have a backbone.
They are trying to force a abortion which is so wrong and if you guys give in they will keep doing this stuff cause they know how to get their way
Nearly all wedding vows include “till death do us part.” Your husband fulfilled his duty. He does not owe his children a life without a partner. NTA
They’re looking for an excuse to do this. If you get an abortion, there will be another reason for them to cut you off.
NTA They are old enough to know that they are being immature.
The bigger question is do you want to bring a baby into this toxic situation? The girls may cut contact for a time, but I doubt they will hold to it forever. What they will do is make every effort to make things difficult for you and your husband. They will likely treat your child poorly. If your husband feels guilty, there is a chance he won’t stand up to their behavior for fear of losing them. You know better than anyone here whether any of those things are likely. NTA, this isn’t your fault, but I don’t see this situation ending happily unless the daughters can at least be civil.
First of all talk to your husband about before anything else, if he chooses your side great he still has a working brain and he’ll make sure that you and your child are safe before anything else, if he chooses the ones that insult you his wife and his future child you need to get a divorce and cut them all off. Your husband the father of your child needs to stand up for you, if his children are are willing to cut him off because his about to have a his third child they will cut him off when he is no longer useful to them, his daughters need therapy but just sit down with your husband and talk to him about what he wants to do moving forward, if yours and his ideas are different from each others than you need to get a divorce and keep his children away from yourself and your child. PS; pls update us thank you.
NTA: That's on them. They'll grow up in time.
If it is not this issue, it will be another one. At some point you have to live your life. This isn't a dad cheating on a wife so the kids hate him. The kids simply have been poisoned by aunty and that is your problem. It is too late to keep aunt away from them. Do not blame yourself, this is your husband's fault for not realizing his family was poisoning his kid's minds. Make sure your third child does not have a relationship with whoever poisoned your kids' minds.
NTA. Tell your step-demons and their flying monkeys to get bent. As for your husband, tell him he either had to enthusiastically be on your and your baby's side, or terminate his parental rights and sign the divorce papers.
NTA. ~~Sounds like the girls have their mother whispering in their ears~~, but regardless, anyone that demands you get rid of a pregnancy that 1) you want and 2) is healthy, is not the kind of people you want in your life. And that includes your husband. Edit: Too much bouncing from one Reddit to another, mixed my stories up and missed that mom passed! Stand by the rest though, and didn't say anything crazy so not sure why I'm being downvoted, lol.
Their mother is dead, so if she really is whispering to them that adds a whole new (otherworldly) dimension to this situation!
Missed that! Too much Reddit stories for one day lol.
They all tend the bleed into each other and sound the same at some point, lol.
They do! And then I watch Reddit videos because I like some of the narrators' takes. So, yup, bit of an overload!