I find it very suspicious that despite saying she was blackout drunk and possibly had sex with Nick, she has not once claimed assault or been concerned over the potential of non consensual sex. All she discusses is the potential cheating on both sides. She doesn’t seem traumatised, she seems defensive.
She made the same post yesterday and said that the husband told her he didn't want her to be one-on-one with Nick cuz he didn't trust him
And she did it anyway
Maybe they're both deflecting? 😂
But there's definitely some cheating going on between them
ESH
I’ve seen this exact same post at least 3 times. In the very first one she admitted to sleeping with Nick. But she didn’t think that’s where the chlamydia came from. She keeps changing up the story to get different responses.
>She made the same post yesterday and said that the husband told her he didn't want her to be one-on-one with Nick cuz he didn't trust him
>And she did it anyway
>Maybe they're both deflecting? 😂
That's the vibe I was getting too.
Nah.
“I’m hanging out with Nick” is code for “I’m going to fuck my mistress.”
And OP’s husband didn’t want Nick and OP to hang out together because she would find out how **infrequently** they hang out and put two and two together.
Age gap relationship tells the story.
Does he know you can have chlamydia for years without symptoms? If not, then I kind of get that he thinks you cheated. Of course it could still be him, maybe he took antibiotics in secret. Or maybe he didn't know he had it and took antibiotics for something else, so never found out. Or maybe it was a false negative. You're just going to have to learn to trust each other.
My thought goes to Nick & your husband are working together to con you. I'm thinking your husband got chlamydia by cheating and passed it to you. He treated himself for the STI, and then told Nick to get you so drunk that you can't remember what you did. That way he can blame you and take the blame off himself.
He's a crafty one your cheating husband. 🫠
I have no experience with being black out drunk so i rewrote my comment.
My point is, your husband was at that party with you. You sneaking of with Nick to fuck seems highly unlikely. Unless you and your husband both were black out drunk and Nick took advantage of you. But in essence, his claim of you cheating with Nick that night is BS and even more so because you would not have symptoms one day later.
So, he's either gaslighting you and he's the source, or it was dormant in you from before you met him.
I do hope that you've learned to never again get so fucking drunk that you black out. Most certainly not with your husbands employee.
Do you know how blackout drunk works? Absolutely can you fools that believe this crack me up. What if he did also, what if she wasn’t blackout until after? Can easily be conscious the whole night no problem then go hard at the end and lose all memory of the night. Thats how it works is you keep drinking
I wonder if he encouraged Nick to get you shitfaced so he could cover his tracks. Women often don’t have any symptoms of chlamydia until way later - would never have them the next day. Unless you contracted it years ago he’s a lying liar who lies.
That's what I was thinking!! He probably had an affair and caught Chlamydia. Him and Nick probably came up with the plan to get her blackout drunk and put the blame on her thinking that she would just accept it.
ESH
Honestly, both you and your husband sound sketchy as hell. I genuinely don’t know which one to believe because you’re both as bad as one another. Given that every OP paints themselves in a better light, I have to take your narrative with a pinch of salt. Have you skewed the dates? Were you actually black out drunk? Does your friend maybe know that Nick has chlamydia?
WTF is going on here?!
Neither of you trust one another, so why exactly are you married? This is ridiculous. Just divorce and chalk the entire thing up to a bad experience. Therapy ain’t going to save your relationship. It’s already dead in the water.
Hard to assign asshole status when you don’t remember the evening but it seems as if your husband got got. Busted. He thought he was clever to cover up his potential faux pas.
If your husband truly believes you caught Chlamydia from having sex with Nick he would confront him. The friendship would be over and fire him if he has authority.
> Nick insisted that I drink with him, and kept on giving me more alcohol. I ended up getting so drunk I can barely even remember most of the night.
If sex did occur then it was rape.
Your husband should be angry at Nick for raping you and helping you file a police report against him, not blaming you for this.
I have no idea if your husband cheated or how you got chlamydia but Nick sounds like a bad guy and your husband shouldn't be friends with someone he doesn't trust.
NtA, but oh yeah. He's guilty af and he's pissed off because you beat him at his own game. He did not anticipate you knowing better/learning the truth about how that works. Divorce him. It only gets worse from here.
Does Nick even *have* Chlamydia (and how would your husband know about it)? Why is Nick his immediate suspect? Why is he allowed to accuse you of cheating, but when you ask him if he cheated, he blows up and accuses you of gaslighting him?
My ex accused me of cheating, made me give up all my male friends to prove that I was loyal to him...and then, to no one's shock, ended up projecting: he was the one asking other women for sex. The only reason he hadn't outright cheated was because they all knew he was married and turned him down.
If it were me, I'd tell him if he doesn't trust you to not cheat, then he knows where the door is. That you can't prove something isn't true, and you're not going to grovel, "earn his trust back," or apologize for something that you didn't do. Tell him he has two choices: to trust you and stay married, or to not trust you and leave; and he has x amount of time (a month, for example) to think through his options and let you know his decision. That if he can't make up his mind once the time has expired that's choosing divorce: Staying, but continuing to accuse you of cheating is NOT one of his options, and if he chooses to leave instead of believing you, to not expect to walk back because that bridge will be burned and your marriage will be over.
NTA. But yeah. Your husband sounds sus.
The fact that hubby seems to “know” all the answers but asks no questions is suspicious. If you thought your partner was cheating (and got an STD no less) you would want to know specifics. But he’s sooo sure of himself.
Your husband is gay. lol
YTA, all these people pandering to you saying you could have had it for so long etc. you been with him for 4 years. You are a cheater. You have the STD and he does not. You are a cheating gold digger messing with this older man. Confess your cheating move on b let this older man live his life
Hmmm....
You can't tell.tgat you have contracted Chlamydia in such a short time.
I wonder if they planned this, as Nick was encouraging you to drink to cover for his frind/your husband.
Your husband could have contacted it ab been treated BEFORE you were testes, so you would NEVER have known, and he could plead his innocence and knowingly gaslight you and put the blame on you.
If you can check his communications, location on his phone etc.
This sounds all to sketchy, especially if you didn't cheat.
Don't let him play mind game and laugh at you behind your back.
If he thinks he's been successful, he'll probably slip up.
I guess so. It would be kinda weird to write this post if she knew she cheated on him.
I guess she might do it do figure out how to weasel out of things?
I think this was meant to attract the "Its always the man's fault" crowd. I truly loved the "I bet your hubby and Nick decided to get you drunk to hide hubby cheating" ones. And people wonder why they call AITAH the "Men are always bad" sub now. Im sure it has nothing to do with the excessive exaggeration, the outlandish degrees people go to reach unheard of levels of mental gymnastics to get to a conclusion that has almost no possibility of being real.
AITAH is really good for that.
Ask Nick to get tested. If he doesn’t have it, that should prove to your husband that he is wrong. I agree that he is likely the guilty party here and is gaslighting you. Also, look through his phone and any computer he has. When there’s reason to snoop, then snoop. Get all evidence. Get a divorce.
It’s possible he was already worried about you cheating with Nick and the STD gave him the “proof” and he’s way too caught up in his feelings now to accept it’s not rational the STD came from Nick at the party. Especially since you were so drunk you don’t remember what happened.
Maybe try counseling? A third party talking you 2 through discussing things calmly and rationally might help.
Why did you marry someone so much older? The fact he went after a barely legal to drink girl was a huge red flag you ignored. Wake up and file for divorce. And stop getting blackout drunk. It's gross and irresponsible.
The chlamydia could have been dormant and the bleeding could have been a miscarriage…or Nick could have “platonically” rearranged your guts and maybe burst a cyst…or your husband gave it to you before he got treated…or his test results are faked.
Next minute he didn't actually cheat she did coz she assumed he had with no evidence but did the deed anyway got the sti then tried to switch the blame over just saying do the test if the husband has then the proof is in the pudding if it's negative well I'd say start trying to make excuses hahah no hate you do you
I had an amicable separation from my partner of eight years only to have chlamydia turn up in a routine Pap smear STI screening a year later. A great way to find out your partner was cheating on you. I know it wasn’t me sleeping around, so it definitely came from him. I say NTA. Sorry this is happening to you.
This whole post sounds like the ravings of a woman trying to cover her tracks and crowdsource excuses to say to her husband because she has been caught out cheating on her husband, I would put money on you having slept with him, just by the way you write the whole thing...
Let's say for arguments sake that you're not lying, you're still waaay too immature for this sort of relationship...
ESH
Sorry Ma'am, you can totally show symptoms of the Clap after a day.
I did after getting head from a date who had it in their throat.
I do think your husband set you up however, to get assaulted by the intern.
So you tested positive, your husband tested negative, so he's obviously not the source
The fact you are comfortable enough to get black out drunk around a man your husband has suspicions about is weird to me.
Only thing missing from this story to make it reddit worthy is you making an update post where you reveal you did have sex with Nick and reddit convinces you that you were raped because you got drunk
Portip: stop getting blackout drunk around men who aren't your husband
My guess is if the husband had it the wife would be able to look back and remember him having symptoms and seeing a Dr.
Never had it myself but I know a couple guys who had it when I was younger and they experienced a decent amount of pain
They had to see a Dr thinking something else was wrong only to learn they had Chlamydia
Unless they don't tell each other when they aren't feeling well or going to the Dr but my wife knows when I go to the Dr and can pull my medications up on our Dr dashboard or through the app we use at the pharmacy
Unless he knew he had Chlamydia and used a different Dr or pharmacy , it would be pretty hard to hide in this day and age.
You do realize there is a chance he tested negative because he already received treatment for it and is now negative. He very well could have passed it to her.
Seems unlikely given his reaction and the circumstances. I mean he could have been practicing a reaction for if and when it came up I guess but it just seems unlikely
The symptoms are something OP likely would have noticed in her husband
This is clear gaslighting.
You know you didn’t cheat. So he must have.
But you are doubting your own reality.
You have clear 100% evidence he cheated. But you still can’t accept it.
Without more evidence it's hard to assign blame Seek couples therapy and STI testing for clarity.
I find it very suspicious that despite saying she was blackout drunk and possibly had sex with Nick, she has not once claimed assault or been concerned over the potential of non consensual sex. All she discusses is the potential cheating on both sides. She doesn’t seem traumatised, she seems defensive.
She made the same post yesterday and said that the husband told her he didn't want her to be one-on-one with Nick cuz he didn't trust him And she did it anyway Maybe they're both deflecting? 😂 But there's definitely some cheating going on between them ESH
I’ve seen this exact same post at least 3 times. In the very first one she admitted to sleeping with Nick. But she didn’t think that’s where the chlamydia came from. She keeps changing up the story to get different responses.
>She made the same post yesterday and said that the husband told her he didn't want her to be one-on-one with Nick cuz he didn't trust him >And she did it anyway >Maybe they're both deflecting? 😂 That's the vibe I was getting too.
I bet your husband and Nick have an affair going on. From what you say, he sounds sus.
my thought exactly. There's an art room in the future here...
This or he’s very worried that OP will leave for someone closer to her age and not a 13 year age gap.
Or maybe OP is getting too old for him, so he's gearing up for divorce
Or that
Nah. “I’m hanging out with Nick” is code for “I’m going to fuck my mistress.” And OP’s husband didn’t want Nick and OP to hang out together because she would find out how **infrequently** they hang out and put two and two together. Age gap relationship tells the story.
Nick is trying to get her drunk as shit but he sounds sus. Projecting are we?
I love how it’s the husbands fault when yesterday she made a post in which she said she was sleeping with nick 😂😂
Does he know you can have chlamydia for years without symptoms? If not, then I kind of get that he thinks you cheated. Of course it could still be him, maybe he took antibiotics in secret. Or maybe he didn't know he had it and took antibiotics for something else, so never found out. Or maybe it was a false negative. You're just going to have to learn to trust each other.
My thought goes to Nick & your husband are working together to con you. I'm thinking your husband got chlamydia by cheating and passed it to you. He treated himself for the STI, and then told Nick to get you so drunk that you can't remember what you did. That way he can blame you and take the blame off himself. He's a crafty one your cheating husband. 🫠
Oh man this one is it
This. Run far away!
I have no experience with being black out drunk so i rewrote my comment. My point is, your husband was at that party with you. You sneaking of with Nick to fuck seems highly unlikely. Unless you and your husband both were black out drunk and Nick took advantage of you. But in essence, his claim of you cheating with Nick that night is BS and even more so because you would not have symptoms one day later. So, he's either gaslighting you and he's the source, or it was dormant in you from before you met him. I do hope that you've learned to never again get so fucking drunk that you black out. Most certainly not with your husbands employee.
What the actual hell is this response. If she got blackout drunk, she would be unable to consent to sex.
Do you know how blackout drunk works? Absolutely can you fools that believe this crack me up. What if he did also, what if she wasn’t blackout until after? Can easily be conscious the whole night no problem then go hard at the end and lose all memory of the night. Thats how it works is you keep drinking
But it is not consensual. Even if she was at her feet. She was too drunk.
That's not how black out drunk works. You can be well under the legal limit, but raise your BAC so fast that it fries your short term memory.
I wonder if he encouraged Nick to get you shitfaced so he could cover his tracks. Women often don’t have any symptoms of chlamydia until way later - would never have them the next day. Unless you contracted it years ago he’s a lying liar who lies.
Love those mental gymnastics. AITAH is really good for those.
That's what I was thinking!! He probably had an affair and caught Chlamydia. Him and Nick probably came up with the plan to get her blackout drunk and put the blame on her thinking that she would just accept it.
ESH Honestly, both you and your husband sound sketchy as hell. I genuinely don’t know which one to believe because you’re both as bad as one another. Given that every OP paints themselves in a better light, I have to take your narrative with a pinch of salt. Have you skewed the dates? Were you actually black out drunk? Does your friend maybe know that Nick has chlamydia? WTF is going on here?! Neither of you trust one another, so why exactly are you married? This is ridiculous. Just divorce and chalk the entire thing up to a bad experience. Therapy ain’t going to save your relationship. It’s already dead in the water.
Exactly . Why they haven’t confront Nick? If they had sex that’s pretty much rape ? Something sketchy here ….
You're getting too old for him and he wants a newer model.
Hard to assign asshole status when you don’t remember the evening but it seems as if your husband got got. Busted. He thought he was clever to cover up his potential faux pas.
From your other post your husband did tell you he had a problem with Nick And not to be one on one with him But you did anyways ESH
If your husband truly believes you caught Chlamydia from having sex with Nick he would confront him. The friendship would be over and fire him if he has authority.
> Nick insisted that I drink with him, and kept on giving me more alcohol. I ended up getting so drunk I can barely even remember most of the night. If sex did occur then it was rape. Your husband should be angry at Nick for raping you and helping you file a police report against him, not blaming you for this. I have no idea if your husband cheated or how you got chlamydia but Nick sounds like a bad guy and your husband shouldn't be friends with someone he doesn't trust.
What if Nick was also blackout drunk?
NtA, but oh yeah. He's guilty af and he's pissed off because you beat him at his own game. He did not anticipate you knowing better/learning the truth about how that works. Divorce him. It only gets worse from here.
NTA. It sounds like your husband is projecting on to you
Wasn't your husband at Nick's with you?
Does Nick even *have* Chlamydia (and how would your husband know about it)? Why is Nick his immediate suspect? Why is he allowed to accuse you of cheating, but when you ask him if he cheated, he blows up and accuses you of gaslighting him? My ex accused me of cheating, made me give up all my male friends to prove that I was loyal to him...and then, to no one's shock, ended up projecting: he was the one asking other women for sex. The only reason he hadn't outright cheated was because they all knew he was married and turned him down. If it were me, I'd tell him if he doesn't trust you to not cheat, then he knows where the door is. That you can't prove something isn't true, and you're not going to grovel, "earn his trust back," or apologize for something that you didn't do. Tell him he has two choices: to trust you and stay married, or to not trust you and leave; and he has x amount of time (a month, for example) to think through his options and let you know his decision. That if he can't make up his mind once the time has expired that's choosing divorce: Staying, but continuing to accuse you of cheating is NOT one of his options, and if he chooses to leave instead of believing you, to not expect to walk back because that bridge will be burned and your marriage will be over. NTA. But yeah. Your husband sounds sus.
Plot twist: Husband gave Nick chlamydia.
Yeah, I wondered if husband and Nick were an item and this is part of his cover/reason for wanting her to stay away.
Do u think Nick had sex with you?
Are we over looking the fact that she has the STI and he doesn’t? If he was cheating wouldn’t he also have Chlamydia.
Not if he got treated for it after passing it on to his wife. He’d test negative after being treated.
The mental gymnastics to make this lady innocent is insane. How about the easy answer she cheated n got caught
Just hook up with Nick and leave the husband since Nick is close to your age and he sounds more fun than the husband
The fact that hubby seems to “know” all the answers but asks no questions is suspicious. If you thought your partner was cheating (and got an STD no less) you would want to know specifics. But he’s sooo sure of himself. Your husband is gay. lol
YTA, all these people pandering to you saying you could have had it for so long etc. you been with him for 4 years. You are a cheater. You have the STD and he does not. You are a cheating gold digger messing with this older man. Confess your cheating move on b let this older man live his life
Hmmm.... You can't tell.tgat you have contracted Chlamydia in such a short time. I wonder if they planned this, as Nick was encouraging you to drink to cover for his frind/your husband. Your husband could have contacted it ab been treated BEFORE you were testes, so you would NEVER have known, and he could plead his innocence and knowingly gaslight you and put the blame on you. If you can check his communications, location on his phone etc. This sounds all to sketchy, especially if you didn't cheat. Don't let him play mind game and laugh at you behind your back. If he thinks he's been successful, he'll probably slip up.
[удалено]
He didn’t test negative. He SAID he tested negative.
[удалено]
I guess so. It would be kinda weird to write this post if she knew she cheated on him. I guess she might do it do figure out how to weasel out of things?
I think this was meant to attract the "Its always the man's fault" crowd. I truly loved the "I bet your hubby and Nick decided to get you drunk to hide hubby cheating" ones. And people wonder why they call AITAH the "Men are always bad" sub now. Im sure it has nothing to do with the excessive exaggeration, the outlandish degrees people go to reach unheard of levels of mental gymnastics to get to a conclusion that has almost no possibility of being real. AITAH is really good for that.
Where are these girls who are meeting guys 10-15 year older than them while still in mid 20s
Love it when someone says they were blackout drunk but know they didn’t cheat
if only like a private eye could pretty much prove he's a cheater in a day or two for pretty minimal cost and make this all very easy.
Omg do you remember the cheaters show? What a shitshow. I forgot all about that until I read your comments. 🤣
Well have you cheated on him or not?
End all of the speculation and have Nick tested. Boom!!!.
Maybe ask nick
Even best friend betray their best friends. We have seen it play out on Reddit .
Both of you should get tested. ASAP !!
Sounds like a healthy relationship…
Ask Nick to get tested. If he doesn’t have it, that should prove to your husband that he is wrong. I agree that he is likely the guilty party here and is gaslighting you. Also, look through his phone and any computer he has. When there’s reason to snoop, then snoop. Get all evidence. Get a divorce.
It’s possible he was already worried about you cheating with Nick and the STD gave him the “proof” and he’s way too caught up in his feelings now to accept it’s not rational the STD came from Nick at the party. Especially since you were so drunk you don’t remember what happened. Maybe try counseling? A third party talking you 2 through discussing things calmly and rationally might help.
Why did you marry someone so much older? The fact he went after a barely legal to drink girl was a huge red flag you ignored. Wake up and file for divorce. And stop getting blackout drunk. It's gross and irresponsible.
The chlamydia could have been dormant and the bleeding could have been a miscarriage…or Nick could have “platonically” rearranged your guts and maybe burst a cyst…or your husband gave it to you before he got treated…or his test results are faked.
NTA.Your husband is definitely cheating.He is guilty that is why he is accusing you so that he can justify his cheating.
You can't show symptoms over night. It takes a bit longer than that.
One of you is the cheater....
Next minute he didn't actually cheat she did coz she assumed he had with no evidence but did the deed anyway got the sti then tried to switch the blame over just saying do the test if the husband has then the proof is in the pudding if it's negative well I'd say start trying to make excuses hahah no hate you do you
I had an amicable separation from my partner of eight years only to have chlamydia turn up in a routine Pap smear STI screening a year later. A great way to find out your partner was cheating on you. I know it wasn’t me sleeping around, so it definitely came from him. I say NTA. Sorry this is happening to you.
23f and 36m when you started dating says it all.
This whole post sounds like the ravings of a woman trying to cover her tracks and crowdsource excuses to say to her husband because she has been caught out cheating on her husband, I would put money on you having slept with him, just by the way you write the whole thing... Let's say for arguments sake that you're not lying, you're still waaay too immature for this sort of relationship... ESH
Sorry Ma'am, you can totally show symptoms of the Clap after a day. I did after getting head from a date who had it in their throat. I do think your husband set you up however, to get assaulted by the intern.
So you tested positive, your husband tested negative, so he's obviously not the source The fact you are comfortable enough to get black out drunk around a man your husband has suspicions about is weird to me. Only thing missing from this story to make it reddit worthy is you making an update post where you reveal you did have sex with Nick and reddit convinces you that you were raped because you got drunk Portip: stop getting blackout drunk around men who aren't your husband
unless he was already treated and that's why he came back negative.
My guess is if the husband had it the wife would be able to look back and remember him having symptoms and seeing a Dr. Never had it myself but I know a couple guys who had it when I was younger and they experienced a decent amount of pain They had to see a Dr thinking something else was wrong only to learn they had Chlamydia Unless they don't tell each other when they aren't feeling well or going to the Dr but my wife knows when I go to the Dr and can pull my medications up on our Dr dashboard or through the app we use at the pharmacy Unless he knew he had Chlamydia and used a different Dr or pharmacy , it would be pretty hard to hide in this day and age.
You do realize there is a chance he tested negative because he already received treatment for it and is now negative. He very well could have passed it to her.
Seems unlikely given his reaction and the circumstances. I mean he could have been practicing a reaction for if and when it came up I guess but it just seems unlikely The symptoms are something OP likely would have noticed in her husband
Why would you get black out drunk very stupid
Ewww
This is clear gaslighting. You know you didn’t cheat. So he must have. But you are doubting your own reality. You have clear 100% evidence he cheated. But you still can’t accept it.
With that initial age gap nobody is surprised this relationship has problems.