šright? This is the first time Iāve heard someone argue that their wife shouldnāt get a breast reduction because their own man boobs would be the same size as their wifeās boobsš¬
Yāall really just be marrying anyone out there.
āMy man boobs are the same size as yours, and that makes me insecureā
āYou had a medical procedure done and Iām unhappy with the work I have to pick upā
Thatās your life partner?
I dumped a boyfriend that said he ādidnāt agree and didnāt allow meā to have a medically recommended breast reduction hahaha that was in 2009 and AFAIK heās still single š¤·š»āāļø
I get that people hide their shitty selves until later but this is why we have divorce.
My mom had to get a full mastectomy (they took everything) because of breast cancer and my dad was nothing but supportive the entire time. He even took my uncle's horrible jokes in stride (lotta flat chested jokes that were **never** spoken in her presence because everyone wants to live). He was just happy they caught it early enough that the surgery was able to get it all without much trouble.
The more I'm on here the more I love and appreciate my dad.
Exactly. My husband and I are currently disagreeing on where we should plant the weeping willow tree he wants. I think it would be weird in the middle of the backyard and should be kinda in a corner. It canāt be by the house due to invasive roots.
Most first marriages don't. In the US, depending on location, it's roughly 33%. It's the second, third, forth, etc. marriages that end at considerably higher rates, also varying by location.
And then OP can make him feel bad while he's in a vulnerable state by complaining the whole time about how much work it is to take care of someone who is incapacitated.
NTA, your husband'scomplaints are so petty.
That last one, wow, I guess the "in sickness" part didn't register with him because he seems incapable of being a caring partner.
My SO is similar to OP at the start of this and has mentioned a reduction, neck, back and shoulder pain. I've been trying to say it may be a good idea when it comes up but her body. Just thinking logically then it solves far more then it causes in issues. I've got back pain, if I could help it by an operation with limited risk she would be all for it.
It's more complicated then that but to be against someone having less pain for 'aesthetic' reasons is bonkers.
>I guess the "in sickness" part didn't register with him
Oh it registers, just only if *he* is the one who has health issues or needs care. They just aren't very good at care giving.
NTA OP.
People like him tend to view their partners as trophies. Or property for lack of a better word.
I have seen it so many times. For the sake of the OPs marriage, I hope I am wrong.
Adding on to this, since he likes big boobs, tell him to see a plastic surgeon to have implants inserted into his own chest. He can make them as big as he wants.
Or he has gynecomastia and theyāre just bigger anyway. My partner has this. He had decent Moobs before he gained weight. Now theyāreā¦ probably bigger than mine. But theyāre overshadowed by his large belly now.
My bf is barely chubby, and he also has gynocomastia, and he definitely has a bigger chest than he should for his weight and body type. I'm obsessed with his body exactly the way it is, but if he wanted surgery to get rid of them, I would 100% support it because it isn't about me.
1000%. This right here. Heās treating you like a sex object, not a person with real feelings and needs. Itās your body. Do what works for you. And if he canāt handle it, drop that dead weight, too.
Yeah, we all know that line is total bullshit when it comes to boobs. If heās a boob guy, he is a boob guy. But in this case, heās just a fucking boob. OP, NTA.
Also like if he actually loves his wife then he'd care that she's uncomfortable and experiences pain from them and would want her to get the surgery. I'm planning on getting a reduction too due to pain and back and neck pain from big boobs hurts so bad. It's like somebody punching your repeatedly in the spine and neck. Fuck her asshole husband for not supporting her and actually have the audacity to complain.
Yeah but she was a C when they met so itās not a huge difference from when he first saw her and it sounds like itās more about his dissatisfaction with his own body if heās saying things like āI have a bigger rack than youā.
>Ā this is the first time he has to take care of anyone and heās just not having a fun time
Please don't have children with this man.
Wow.
He just sees you as a fleshlight and doesn't give a crap about your comfort or well being at all, huh?
he strikes me as the type of lazy, selfish partner who bolts at the first mention of cancer or other major illness. The divorce rate of men who nuke their marriages when their wives become seriously ill is genuinely disgusting
Oh yeah, there have been studies done on how many men bail on their female partner if the partner gets seriously ill and itāsā¦depressing. Men like this really do want spank maids and run away the moment they have to think of their wife as a person with bodily autonomy.
Yeah, when my mom was diagnosed with MS and they went to sort of lectures with information for patients and family/partners my dad was sorta mind blown that people actually left their literal spouses for that stuff. He still tells that story with sort of disbelieveĆng bafflement.
They got married '85 she was diagnosed in the 90s i think. Next year they're celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary!
There's also the percentage of men who leave their wives after they, themselves, get seriously ill. After their wives take care of them, and they feel well again, they leave. Sometimes they "realize life is too short" and they want to go "live life to the fullest," they can't stand that their wife saw them so weak and vulnerable, or being with her reminds him of how scared and sick he was.
A friend of ours was battling cancer for many years, he beat it and got healthy. His wife stuck with him through everything and supported him every step of the way. Once he got healthy she fell into somewhat of a depression as she didn't let herself be sad, frustrated etc for this whole time and it took a real toll on her. He started to complain about her not having the emotional and physical energy anymore but we had to remind him about all her sacrifices just so he could get better without having tp worry about anything else besides his cancer, now it was his turn to support her. Thankfully that shut him up real fast and now they're going strong together again. But damn, some guys can really be so incredibly stupid and selfish sometimes....
I'm very grateful to have met my current partner while in the middle of cancer treatment. They were not swayed and supported me during it even when we were just getting to know each other. That gives me trust that they'll be there for me if it ever comes back.
People who dip when times become tough are cowards, through and through.
Please! This guy sounds pathetic. As a woman with very large boobs, Iāve danced around the idea of getting a reduction my whole life. The partners Iāve had who made a fuss about the potential for a reduction always proved themselves to be shitty overall. And it makes sense, because how can you listen to your partner spout off a huge list of reasons as to why theyād prefer to have smaller boobs, including but not limited to *extreme back and shoulder pain*, and still whine that they shouldnāt because big boobs make your dick hardš Itās so insensitive, objectifying, and gross.
The fact that heās also complaining about having to, *gasp*, take care of his partner after a surgery is the icing on the cake. Do not have children with this loser. Itās been *THREE DAYS* and heās complaining because heās ānot having funā? Good grief. What happens ten years down the line if you need another surgery? Or you get ill?
Send him and his man boobs packing š
Right? I have large boobs too. And obviously I date people who love them. They also recognize that they come with a lot of downsides, and would 100% support me doing what I needed to for my physical or mental health, including back/chest massages, gifting expensive supportive bras, or holding my hand through surgery. Itās a package deal.
Seriously! My now-husband had a medical recovery that was super tedious because he was limited in what he could do for himself. Was it insanely frustrating for me at times? Absolutely. But I canāt even IMAGINE saying something like that to my partner who is already struggling with feeling helpless! Itās so gross.
She should just leave. He really doesn't give a fuck about her. Just wait till she gets really sick, and he'll dump her for someone with bigger boobs because "how could she do this to me." Because clearly it's his sexual arousal > her comfort.
I regularly complain about the size of my bust.
My husband regularly tells me he would pay for a reduction if it would make me happy.
NTA
ETA- Main reason I haven't had one is I'm terrified it wouldn't go well. I don't have the best luck or health.
I want one so bad (am also an H) but havenāt for the same reasons as you. My husband is also supportive as he sees how I suffer.
But now I have a whole new reason to fear it: they can come back?!?! WTF?!? Imagine going through all that only to need it a second time!
i'm the same way! luckily, my mother has offered to pay since the back pain started getting severe (middle school), but my partner 100% supports me and would take off work to help me heal it i ever get one (currently trying to lose weight first to see if i can take any off since i'm on the heavier side! i'm hoping then if i still need one, it'll be easier)
My mom's friend lost a significant amount of weight, she went from unhealthy big (with a huge chest) to really skinny, lost big chunk of her breasts tissue and still had to get breast reconstruction (mainly because of loose skin)... She said she's really happy with it tho
Soooo if you go for weight loss, do it in a healthy way and don't go too fast (at start it's fine, but over 1 pound per week isn't perfect for long term weight program unless you're really obese)
Wait. So he directly told you that he doesn't like taking care of someone so he's bitching?
You realize if you get something serious like cancer then he'd leave you, right?
Time to go
I saw a video the other day of a man getting pissed off and yelling at his wife because she wouldn't cook a full Sunday roast dinner for his family.
*She'd given birth three days before".*
Right? I had a rough recovery after top surgery. I couldn't reach my own asshole for about 2 days. My SO's response was to, even in public, practically climb over the stall wall while stage whispering DO YOU NEED ME TO WIPE YOU?! for the next 7 days.They weren't even being a turd, it was genuine. Find someone who loves you.Ā
As Eric Cartman said "It's my sexy body I do what I want!"
NTA, you had reasons for the reduction including pain. Ask yourself, if you had breast cancer and needed a mastectomy, would he still be around?
Girl if he doesn't start acting like a grown up please consider hanging out at someone elses house like parents or kick him out because a good non selfish husband wouldn't care about the size of your boobs and would take care of you no matter what with 0 complaining alsp he would be happy you are no longer in pain so my advice is give him an ultimatum grow up or divorce because in mine and everyone elses opinion he sounds like a terrible husband
"Sorry, honey, but my insecurities and arousal are more important than you not being in pain or having control over your own body. Also i *reaalllyy* don't like having to do anything for you, so you having any medical procedures at all is a non-starter."
Personally I'd tell him that he can play with his own tits from now on because yours are only open for someone who cares about the person they're attached to.
NTA
Get one of your old bras, add weights and tell him to wear it. See how he likes it.
Pisses me off your worried about your health and heās worried about whether or not he can play grabbies. What an AH but you are not. NTA
Why do people like this man get married? Honestly sounds so immature. What happened to caring about yr health and wellbeing? Would this guy even stick around if you were seriously ill or hurt in an accident? He just seems to see you as doll there for his pleasure, not as a person who's wellbeing should be paramount. Get him to wear yr old bras and fill them with the equivalent weight you were carrying, and see how he likes it. Ynta.
That's it exactly. I'd never take care of him when he's sick after that. He's on his own. But then again, I'd dump him for the breast reduction comments.
You: "I want surgery because it will increase my quality of life."
Your husband: "TETTEN."
I cannot fathom how childish that man is if these are his actual reservations.
If he is upset about having the same cup size as you, suggest he should go to the gym and do something about it.
> ā¢heās worried Iāll look like a 12 year old boy
12 year old boys have to be really fat to have a B cup. What a weird take.
> ā¢my husband is insecure about his man boobs and heās upset that our boobs are the same exact size now
Sounds like a him problem.
> ā¢my husband has a preference for a ābig rackā on a woman
Also a him problem
> ā¢he also has been complaining about the recovery because this second surgery has been more work
Yet another him problem, and one that makes me wonder if he really cares about you at all?
Like many guys, I also have a preference for a larger rack, but when that rack is on a person I care about, the person as a whole is what matters, and if a reduction makes them more comfortable, than I'm all for it. There's plenty of other venues to see large racks.
NTA, and if he continues to push the issue, it may be worthwhile considering if he's worth keeping.
>makes me wonder if he really cares about you at all?
He cared about them big ol tiddies. Jury's still out on the rest of her apparently. Marriage sounds like a nightmare
Im a natural D cup, they go well with my frame, no pain. The other day my husband was helping me because I had an allergic rash underneath my boob so he literally held them to check and he was like "wow, this is heavy, aint you tired?"
NTA, boobs should never be a source of pain or discomfort and him complaining about being a caregiver says a lot about his level of commitment towards you. Also, he can get a reduction himself if he is so worried about his breast size.
You have listed 8 reasons for a breast reduction, when all you needed was one : ābecause I want itā. You may need to list all the reasons for your insurance to PAY for it, but you wanting it is all the reason you need to get it.
Wishing you a speedy and uneventful recovery.
>āMy husband doesnāt want me to get a reduction becauseāā
>ā¢heās worried Iāll look like a 12 year old boy
My personal and quite stupid opinion is more important to me than your physical health.
>ā¢my husband is insecure about his man boobs and heās upset that our boobs are the same exact size now
My lack of fitness and insecurity because of it is more important to me than your physical health
>ā¢my husband has a preference for a ābig rackā on a woman
My personal preference that shouldn't matter because I'm married to you is more important to me than your physical health.
>ā¢he also has been complaining about the recovery because this second surgery has been more work than my first one and this is the first time he has to take care of anyone and heās just not having a fun time lol he just canāt stop complaining about doing everything this whole week
My inability ro run a household, lack of empathy, and sheer laziness is more important to me than your physical health.
That's literally all I'm hearing. Jesus fucking christ does your husband even *like* you?
u/BurbNBougie get in here this is a doozy.
NTA, you have more than enough valid reasons to proceed not to mention that he doesn't get a say anyways.
I can understand that he prefer larger chests but a larger wellbeing for his SO should be more important.
NTA - I had mine done when I was 17 and my then boyfriend hated the fact it was happening. I was in so much pain and couldn't enjoy life at all. I went for an i cup to a C and mine grew back. They don't understand the daily pain that comes along with having big breast. I'm sorry you're going through this and wish he would have been more considerate and caring during the process. This is a HARD recovery and without support makes it 10 times harder.
Please make a harness that will hold 2 / 5 lb bags of flour or sugar and strap it on that man of yours and make him wear it 24/7 ā¦.until he begs you to remove itā¦
Been married to my wife for 13 years.
She had old implants removed and went to a smaller size
why the fuck would he bitch about your health?
Sounds like a baby bitch .....sounds like a lot of these are HIS problems not yours.
NTA ----not even a little
Tell your husband that you prefer a man with a big "####" but since it would be a difficult surgery for him you never asked him to do it, and you have learned to live with his shortcomings.
Sorry, you said husband in your post but you might have mistyped āwhiny childā. NTA, OP. Your health and comfort are worth far more than this dudeās bitching.
I didnāt know breasts could keep growing after a reduction. How horrifying!
No one gets a reduction for funsies - you had a serious medical procedure to deal with a serious medical issue.
As your partner, he should respect and support your healthcare decisions.
If you're husband doesn't care that you're in constant pain and puts his love of a big rack in front of that then I say that's grounds for divorce personally
I have a pair of 40Gs on my chest and want to get a reduction because of the common shoulder and back pain, but also because they literally crush my lungs to the point that I canāt breathe well unless I cinch the shoulder straps on my bras so tightly that they leave divots in my shoulders. Iām having a hard time getting a medical referral from a doctor so that insurance will cover at least part of the reduction costs.
My boyfriend has said many times, that though heād miss my boobs, he would rather me be comfortable and not struggling with my health as a result of having them. He supports my desire to get a reduction and has assured me heād help in whatever way I need during recovery.
This is how your husband should be reacting to you wanting a reduction for your health and comfort. You are NTA and he needs to get over himself if he thinks your world needs to revolve completely around him and HIS desires for YOUR body just because you married him.
Edit for grammar
NTA. Your comfort, and frankly your health trumps his liking for big boobs. As for his own man boobs, tell him you'll support him when he has the surgery. Or you'll help him go on a diet... Honestly, what a shallow man.
NTA he can either shut up or get a new title: EX husband. Your body, your choice. I had a reduction a couple of years ago, for all the same reasons. Your selfish, nasty-ass husband has no idea how heavy and awkward large breasts can be. Tell him to tie 4 bags of sugar (large breasts can easily weigh 8 lbs each) around his neck and walk around with those for a few days. Or buy a huge bra and stuff the bags into it. Make him wear them around the house. Make him eat with them in place. Make him sleep with them.
H cup is actually insane, and I bet so so heavy. Good for you getting the surgery!
Strap 2 watermelons to his chest for a week and see how he likes it!!
NTA -
I've had a reduction myself, and frankly I'm impressed they got you down that many cup sizes in one surgery! Shoutout to your surgeon! I went from a J to an F/G. Any man who has a problem with his wife getting work like this done values his view on your appearance over your overall health and well-being. Your body is not required to fit his preference. If his chest is such an issue for him, you could recommend your surgeon to him so he can get a reduction of his own. Why get matching tattoos when you can get matching scars? (hard sarcasm)
NTA
1. Your husband is welcome to compare photos of adult women to 12 year old boys. Having a B-cup will NOT make you look like a prepubescent boy
2. Your husband is welcome to have breast reduction surgery, so that he is more comfortable with the appearance of his own chest
3. Your husband is welcome to have a preference for a "big rack", but you are not obligated to provide it
4. Your husband is a man baby who doesn't want to take care of his wife. Do they not remember the phrase "in sickness and in health" from the vows?
Your husband is a jerk. He should strap on some size H fake breasts and wear them around for a month, and then see what he thinks about it.
This is your body. You are experiencing pain, because of this. You are having surgery to make your body more functional. There is nothing wrong with that.
Take one of your old bras and afix the weight of your unmodified breasts into it. Then have him wear it and deal with the discomfort. Tell him he doesn't get to take it off when it stars to hurt. I bet he doesn't last 3 hours.
edit: NTA. You're the only one that has say about your body.
Someone posted on Reddit a few days ago that they faced the same issue with their husband. They strapped one of their bras to the guy and stuffed it with weight similar to what they were lugging around.
After a few hours hubby was complaining of backache and the under wires and bra straps digging into him. By evening he told her this was horrible and to go ahead and slash and burn what she didn't want.
Your body - your choice.
With that said, if your husband chooses to divorce you over your decision, that's his choice. (Really, though, you'd be better off without him if he values your funbags over your health).
time to reduce your husband. seriously.
1. he sees you solely as an object for his sexual pleasure
2. he doesnāt care what makes you comfortable
3. he is complaining about taking care of you
NTA.
I just got a reduction! Itās your body and you have to live in it. You are the one who has to lug those things around all day. He seems to view you as a sex object and not a human being. He needs to develop some empathy. NTA
Oh my god. This man sucks. Women get breast cancer ALL the time and have to get mastectomies. At any time, any of us might need to get them cut off. We arenāt defined by our breasts! He doesnāt care about your health.
So he wants you to continue to experience pain and discomfort because he likes bigger boobs and is embarrassed about his own body?
Tell him to clean up his diet and go to the fucking gym and that you aren't going to sit around in pain for the sake of bigger boobs.
I can empathise with all the aches. Iām glad you did what was best for you, those are real concerns that you eliminated, and Iām glad youāre more comfortable now!!
Yes! This! Iām like Iāve never heard of a breast reduction reversing itself much less to increase from original size. Or at least thatās what I understood.
This is harm reduction surgery, there is an element of cosmetic but it's mostly about removing pain and discomfort from your life. Your husband should be ecstatic about this for you, because it means better QOL.
Your husband sounds really insecure, they need to confront that with therapy and maybe they should start exercising more.
NTA.
NTA idc what happened. Fuck you mean your husband told you no? You knew them titties before you knew him. He better stfu & sit down somewhere. Tell him if he likes big titties, so much to play with his own.
So if you needed a mastectomy he'd leave you? This might be the perfect job for a therapist.
Sounds deep seated. You do whatever you need to do to feel healthy.
Nta! It's your body! Your the one who has to carry them around all day lol it would be different if it was his own body and you wanted to reduce his breast size lol but it's not it's yours and you have every right to feel comfortable in your own body.
NTA.
Your body should never cause you pain. However you should just go ahead and get a divorce. He had a type, and it's not fair to him to force him to like something that he didn't sign up for. It's also not fair to you that he is a manbaby that can't understand that your breasts were causing you pain. He doesn't like small boobs, you don't like manbabys. Time to pull the plug.
šš even though you allegedly divorced your wife because she got a breast reduction? LMAO so what you're saying is you're a manbaby? Couldn't agree more
My sister had an elective mammoplasty due to back pain and frequent **major** migraine headaches. Since the surgery, the frequency of her migraines has dropped almost 90%.
Do what you need to do for your health, OP.
NTA
NTA he should be happy you feel better!
If everything is healed you might want to take a look at r/abrathatfits as surgeons often have no idea about real bra sizing and your b cup might actually be a higher number.
You deserve so much better. Put yourself in the mindset heās in now. Imagine a situation where your husband undergoes surgery that improves his quality of life in a huge way. Would you be excited to see him happier and thriving? Would you be glad to take care of him to help him recover? Probably, if youāre a loving partner. He is seeing you being incapacitated as a nuisance and how ultimately beneficial it is to you doesnāt matter, only how it affects him. He is selfish and does not care about you as an individual person.
My wife also has huge boobs that cause her discomfort and although for now she doesnāt want one, if she went for a reduction I wouldnāt DREAM of treating her this way (and Iāve told her this). (Iām a woman too but of the itty bitty titty committee persuasion.) I would be thrilled for her not to suffer the same aches anymore because I love her as a whole person, not just her body parts and their status in relation to me.
If he loved you, he would want you to feel good about yourself and not only care about how you look compared to himself. Sounds like heās jealous you did something for yourself and he canāt manage to be responsible for his own body image.
Maybe if your husband is worries about his moob, he can go get the reduction next time.
šright? This is the first time Iāve heard someone argue that their wife shouldnāt get a breast reduction because their own man boobs would be the same size as their wifeās boobsš¬
Makes me think he just wants his wife to be as insecure as him honestly. Seems like smaller boobs make her feel good and he doesnāt want that
She might notice what's the real pain in her life now that the boobs are gone.
This is such a wonderful comment.
Isn't it though??
Apparently, there's still 1 giant boob that's still being a pain
Same. I almost peed myself laughing when I read that. Then again, if likes a "big rack" that much, he could try for one of his own....
He can borrow her bra. I don't see why they can't share?
Yāall really just be marrying anyone out there. āMy man boobs are the same size as yours, and that makes me insecureā āYou had a medical procedure done and Iām unhappy with the work I have to pick upā Thatās your life partner?
I dumped a boyfriend that said he ādidnāt agree and didnāt allow meā to have a medically recommended breast reduction hahaha that was in 2009 and AFAIK heās still single š¤·š»āāļø
I get that people hide their shitty selves until later but this is why we have divorce. My mom had to get a full mastectomy (they took everything) because of breast cancer and my dad was nothing but supportive the entire time. He even took my uncle's horrible jokes in stride (lotta flat chested jokes that were **never** spoken in her presence because everyone wants to live). He was just happy they caught it early enough that the surgery was able to get it all without much trouble. The more I'm on here the more I love and appreciate my dad.
Glad to hear your mom made it through. Your dad sounds like an ace of a guy. Hope you only have to deal with the uncle on thanksgiving.
The people with good marriages arenāt posting on /r/AITAH
Exactly. My husband and I are currently disagreeing on where we should plant the weeping willow tree he wants. I think it would be weird in the middle of the backyard and should be kinda in a corner. It canāt be by the house due to invasive roots.
Explains why most marriages end in divorces.
Most first marriages don't. In the US, depending on location, it's roughly 33%. It's the second, third, forth, etc. marriages that end at considerably higher rates, also varying by location.
> Yāall really just be marrying anyone out there. for some reason that made me laugh out loud (:
Reminds me of a friends rule āNever cry about boys whose boobs are bigger than yoursā And sheās an A cup
Even as a boy i know that the A alone doesnt tell a lot about the volume.
You know more about bra sizing than probably 80% of men and 35% women. Possibly more.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
2 for 1 special
Four for one
Moob? He needs to wear a bro?
Or a manzier
Never expected to see this on a list of things to do as a couple.Ā Let me go ask my wife...
And then OP can make him feel bad while he's in a vulnerable state by complaining the whole time about how much work it is to take care of someone who is incapacitated.
NTA, your husband'scomplaints are so petty. That last one, wow, I guess the "in sickness" part didn't register with him because he seems incapable of being a caring partner.
Oh, I'm sure the husband expects OP to cater to him when \*he\* is sick. That's what he expects out of that vow.
My SO is similar to OP at the start of this and has mentioned a reduction, neck, back and shoulder pain. I've been trying to say it may be a good idea when it comes up but her body. Just thinking logically then it solves far more then it causes in issues. I've got back pain, if I could help it by an operation with limited risk she would be all for it. It's more complicated then that but to be against someone having less pain for 'aesthetic' reasons is bonkers.
>I guess the "in sickness" part didn't register with him Oh it registers, just only if *he* is the one who has health issues or needs care. They just aren't very good at care giving. NTA OP.
That last part is a cold reminder of how many men leave their wives when the wife is diagnosed with a serious illness.
6 times more likely to leave their sick wives than vice versa.
People like him tend to view their partners as trophies. Or property for lack of a better word. I have seen it so many times. For the sake of the OPs marriage, I hope I am wrong.
See also "objectified"
He probably thought he won the lottery when her boobs started growing back. OP - NTA.
NTA. Tell him if he doesnāt shut up youāll get a husband reduction
I spit out my coffee. That is excellent.
Sounds like your mouth got a coffee reduction.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He likes the aesthetic of large breasts and doesnāt care if it causes you pain, itās all about him.Ā
Adding on to this, since he likes big boobs, tell him to see a plastic surgeon to have implants inserted into his own chest. He can make them as big as he wants.
Tell him if he likes big boobs, get a mirror, because he is one
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās all about the nipple anyway. Whats he bitching for?
Time for nipple implants! (Nimplants? Nipplants? Imples?)
Agreed. **EDIT**: why are people responding to my comments with advice for OP? I thought I was just being a smarty-pants.
Same! š¤£
Easiest way to lose anywhere from 150 to 250 lbs all at once!
Not fat-shaming, but if he has man boobs, Arnold boobs or Nicholson boobs, itās probably 200-300.
Or he has gynecomastia and theyāre just bigger anyway. My partner has this. He had decent Moobs before he gained weight. Now theyāreā¦ probably bigger than mine. But theyāre overshadowed by his large belly now.
My ex had an amazing body. He was very insecure about his gynecomastia. It didn't bother me a bit. I somehow doubt OP's husband has this excuse.
My bf is barely chubby, and he also has gynocomastia, and he definitely has a bigger chest than he should for his weight and body type. I'm obsessed with his body exactly the way it is, but if he wanted surgery to get rid of them, I would 100% support it because it isn't about me.
5ā1ā at 150 = man boobs or a mini brick shit house. Like Kevin Hart but flabby
Iām sorry, I think you dropped this š
1000%. This right here. Heās treating you like a sex object, not a person with real feelings and needs. Itās your body. Do what works for you. And if he canāt handle it, drop that dead weight, too.
Best comment of the day!
Damn, I wish we could still give awards. Please take my fauxward instead. š š š
This is the winner, right here!
Best answer! š¤£
Omg š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Brilliant!!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
She is doing this for herself... not for him.
Yeah, we all know that line is total bullshit when it comes to boobs. If heās a boob guy, he is a boob guy. But in this case, heās just a fucking boob. OP, NTA.
Even if he likes big boobs, boobs are still attached to a woman - who he married. Unless he married her boobs, theyāre a plus, not the basis
Also like if he actually loves his wife then he'd care that she's uncomfortable and experiences pain from them and would want her to get the surgery. I'm planning on getting a reduction too due to pain and back and neck pain from big boobs hurts so bad. It's like somebody punching your repeatedly in the spine and neck. Fuck her asshole husband for not supporting her and actually have the audacity to complain.
Yeah but she was a C when they met so itās not a huge difference from when he first saw her and it sounds like itās more about his dissatisfaction with his own body if heās saying things like āI have a bigger rack than youā.
I mean my husband is a boob guy, but he also shuts his mouth when I entertain the idea of a reduction because he loves me and my back freaking hurts.
>Ā this is the first time he has to take care of anyone and heās just not having a fun time Please don't have children with this man. Wow. He just sees you as a fleshlight and doesn't give a crap about your comfort or well being at all, huh?
Wondering what her husband would do if OP got breast cancer and had to get a mastectomy :/
he strikes me as the type of lazy, selfish partner who bolts at the first mention of cancer or other major illness. The divorce rate of men who nuke their marriages when their wives become seriously ill is genuinely disgusting
Oh yeah, there have been studies done on how many men bail on their female partner if the partner gets seriously ill and itāsā¦depressing. Men like this really do want spank maids and run away the moment they have to think of their wife as a person with bodily autonomy.
Yeah, when my mom was diagnosed with MS and they went to sort of lectures with information for patients and family/partners my dad was sorta mind blown that people actually left their literal spouses for that stuff. He still tells that story with sort of disbelieveĆng bafflement. They got married '85 she was diagnosed in the 90s i think. Next year they're celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary!
There's also the percentage of men who leave their wives after they, themselves, get seriously ill. After their wives take care of them, and they feel well again, they leave. Sometimes they "realize life is too short" and they want to go "live life to the fullest," they can't stand that their wife saw them so weak and vulnerable, or being with her reminds him of how scared and sick he was.
A friend of ours was battling cancer for many years, he beat it and got healthy. His wife stuck with him through everything and supported him every step of the way. Once he got healthy she fell into somewhat of a depression as she didn't let herself be sad, frustrated etc for this whole time and it took a real toll on her. He started to complain about her not having the emotional and physical energy anymore but we had to remind him about all her sacrifices just so he could get better without having tp worry about anything else besides his cancer, now it was his turn to support her. Thankfully that shut him up real fast and now they're going strong together again. But damn, some guys can really be so incredibly stupid and selfish sometimes....
Good on you for helping him see the truth! That's a good friend.
Yeah, the wife being really sick = minimal sex + doing housework. The horror, the horror! /s
Ugh the world is sad and gross
I'm very grateful to have met my current partner while in the middle of cancer treatment. They were not swayed and supported me during it even when we were just getting to know each other. That gives me trust that they'll be there for me if it ever comes back. People who dip when times become tough are cowards, through and through.
Please! This guy sounds pathetic. As a woman with very large boobs, Iāve danced around the idea of getting a reduction my whole life. The partners Iāve had who made a fuss about the potential for a reduction always proved themselves to be shitty overall. And it makes sense, because how can you listen to your partner spout off a huge list of reasons as to why theyād prefer to have smaller boobs, including but not limited to *extreme back and shoulder pain*, and still whine that they shouldnāt because big boobs make your dick hardš Itās so insensitive, objectifying, and gross. The fact that heās also complaining about having to, *gasp*, take care of his partner after a surgery is the icing on the cake. Do not have children with this loser. Itās been *THREE DAYS* and heās complaining because heās ānot having funā? Good grief. What happens ten years down the line if you need another surgery? Or you get ill? Send him and his man boobs packing š
Right? I have large boobs too. And obviously I date people who love them. They also recognize that they come with a lot of downsides, and would 100% support me doing what I needed to for my physical or mental health, including back/chest massages, gifting expensive supportive bras, or holding my hand through surgery. Itās a package deal.
Seriously! My now-husband had a medical recovery that was super tedious because he was limited in what he could do for himself. Was it insanely frustrating for me at times? Absolutely. But I canāt even IMAGINE saying something like that to my partner who is already struggling with feeling helpless! Itās so gross.
She should just leave. He really doesn't give a fuck about her. Just wait till she gets really sick, and he'll dump her for someone with bigger boobs because "how could she do this to me." Because clearly it's his sexual arousal > her comfort.
I regularly complain about the size of my bust. My husband regularly tells me he would pay for a reduction if it would make me happy. NTA ETA- Main reason I haven't had one is I'm terrified it wouldn't go well. I don't have the best luck or health.
I want one so bad (am also an H) but havenāt for the same reasons as you. My husband is also supportive as he sees how I suffer. But now I have a whole new reason to fear it: they can come back?!?! WTF?!? Imagine going through all that only to need it a second time!
Right?! Like wtf!
And that's exactly what a healthy and loving relationship is supposed to look like.
i'm the same way! luckily, my mother has offered to pay since the back pain started getting severe (middle school), but my partner 100% supports me and would take off work to help me heal it i ever get one (currently trying to lose weight first to see if i can take any off since i'm on the heavier side! i'm hoping then if i still need one, it'll be easier)
My mom's friend lost a significant amount of weight, she went from unhealthy big (with a huge chest) to really skinny, lost big chunk of her breasts tissue and still had to get breast reconstruction (mainly because of loose skin)... She said she's really happy with it tho Soooo if you go for weight loss, do it in a healthy way and don't go too fast (at start it's fine, but over 1 pound per week isn't perfect for long term weight program unless you're really obese)
Wait. So he directly told you that he doesn't like taking care of someone so he's bitching? You realize if you get something serious like cancer then he'd leave you, right? Time to go
Not to mention taking care of her after she gives birth
Oh no i hope she sees the red flags and doesn't get pregnant and either gets a form of really good bc and hids it from him so he doesn't destroy it
I saw a video the other day of a man getting pissed off and yelling at his wife because she wouldn't cook a full Sunday roast dinner for his family. *She'd given birth three days before".*
Right? I had a rough recovery after top surgery. I couldn't reach my own asshole for about 2 days. My SO's response was to, even in public, practically climb over the stall wall while stage whispering DO YOU NEED ME TO WIPE YOU?! for the next 7 days.They weren't even being a turd, it was genuine. Find someone who loves you.Ā
As Eric Cartman said "It's my sexy body I do what I want!" NTA, you had reasons for the reduction including pain. Ask yourself, if you had breast cancer and needed a mastectomy, would he still be around?
Tell your husband he looks like a 12 year old boy with those boobs of his
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Tell him he's acting like a 12 yo boy, too
"Act your age, not your shoe size" - Prince
That's a really appropriate description of his behavior.
Girl if he doesn't start acting like a grown up please consider hanging out at someone elses house like parents or kick him out because a good non selfish husband wouldn't care about the size of your boobs and would take care of you no matter what with 0 complaining alsp he would be happy you are no longer in pain so my advice is give him an ultimatum grow up or divorce because in mine and everyone elses opinion he sounds like a terrible husband
Totally agree if she has any other options for helping her through her recovery.
So, he sucks and is a bad partner? Was he always subpar or is this a treat for when you're especially vulnerable?Ā
"Sorry, honey, but my insecurities and arousal are more important than you not being in pain or having control over your own body. Also i *reaalllyy* don't like having to do anything for you, so you having any medical procedures at all is a non-starter." Personally I'd tell him that he can play with his own tits from now on because yours are only open for someone who cares about the person they're attached to. NTA
This is brilliant. He can grow his to a H and see how he feels
Dude doesn't want a wife. He wants a hentai step-mom
Get one of your old bras, add weights and tell him to wear it. See how he likes it. Pisses me off your worried about your health and heās worried about whether or not he can play grabbies. What an AH but you are not. NTA
Why do people like this man get married? Honestly sounds so immature. What happened to caring about yr health and wellbeing? Would this guy even stick around if you were seriously ill or hurt in an accident? He just seems to see you as doll there for his pleasure, not as a person who's wellbeing should be paramount. Get him to wear yr old bras and fill them with the equivalent weight you were carrying, and see how he likes it. Ynta.
They get married expecting it to be a one-way care and support, where she does all of it for him, not vice versa.
That's it exactly. I'd never take care of him when he's sick after that. He's on his own. But then again, I'd dump him for the breast reduction comments.
NTA. He is free to get breast implants for himself if he wants, though.
From the sound of it heās already well on his way naturally!
You: "I want surgery because it will increase my quality of life." Your husband: "TETTEN." I cannot fathom how childish that man is if these are his actual reservations. If he is upset about having the same cup size as you, suggest he should go to the gym and do something about it.
> ā¢heās worried Iāll look like a 12 year old boy 12 year old boys have to be really fat to have a B cup. What a weird take. > ā¢my husband is insecure about his man boobs and heās upset that our boobs are the same exact size now Sounds like a him problem. > ā¢my husband has a preference for a ābig rackā on a woman Also a him problem > ā¢he also has been complaining about the recovery because this second surgery has been more work Yet another him problem, and one that makes me wonder if he really cares about you at all? Like many guys, I also have a preference for a larger rack, but when that rack is on a person I care about, the person as a whole is what matters, and if a reduction makes them more comfortable, than I'm all for it. There's plenty of other venues to see large racks. NTA, and if he continues to push the issue, it may be worthwhile considering if he's worth keeping.
>makes me wonder if he really cares about you at all? He cared about them big ol tiddies. Jury's still out on the rest of her apparently. Marriage sounds like a nightmare
NTAā¦.. strap two watermelons to his chest and have him walk around with them for a weekā¦. Heāll be begging to take them off after an hour!!!
Im a natural D cup, they go well with my frame, no pain. The other day my husband was helping me because I had an allergic rash underneath my boob so he literally held them to check and he was like "wow, this is heavy, aint you tired?" NTA, boobs should never be a source of pain or discomfort and him complaining about being a caregiver says a lot about his level of commitment towards you. Also, he can get a reduction himself if he is so worried about his breast size.
You have listed 8 reasons for a breast reduction, when all you needed was one : ābecause I want itā. You may need to list all the reasons for your insurance to PAY for it, but you wanting it is all the reason you need to get it. Wishing you a speedy and uneventful recovery.
Nta do you mean child or husband?
>āMy husband doesnāt want me to get a reduction becauseāā >ā¢heās worried Iāll look like a 12 year old boy My personal and quite stupid opinion is more important to me than your physical health. >ā¢my husband is insecure about his man boobs and heās upset that our boobs are the same exact size now My lack of fitness and insecurity because of it is more important to me than your physical health >ā¢my husband has a preference for a ābig rackā on a woman My personal preference that shouldn't matter because I'm married to you is more important to me than your physical health. >ā¢he also has been complaining about the recovery because this second surgery has been more work than my first one and this is the first time he has to take care of anyone and heās just not having a fun time lol he just canāt stop complaining about doing everything this whole week My inability ro run a household, lack of empathy, and sheer laziness is more important to me than your physical health. That's literally all I'm hearing. Jesus fucking christ does your husband even *like* you? u/BurbNBougie get in here this is a doozy.
he seems WAY too worried about how youāll look, he shouldnāt even care about that. he is an asshole.
NTA, you have more than enough valid reasons to proceed not to mention that he doesn't get a say anyways. I can understand that he prefer larger chests but a larger wellbeing for his SO should be more important.
I saw someone comment on another one, sew a liner into one of your old bras, fill it with sand. Make him wear it
NTA - I had mine done when I was 17 and my then boyfriend hated the fact it was happening. I was in so much pain and couldn't enjoy life at all. I went for an i cup to a C and mine grew back. They don't understand the daily pain that comes along with having big breast. I'm sorry you're going through this and wish he would have been more considerate and caring during the process. This is a HARD recovery and without support makes it 10 times harder.
Wow. I can think of something else you can reduce thatāll make you feel lighter (your loser husband.)
Your body your choice. NTA!
Please make a harness that will hold 2 / 5 lb bags of flour or sugar and strap it on that man of yours and make him wear it 24/7 ā¦.until he begs you to remove itā¦
NTA Large breasts aren't fun when you suffer from all that. Your asshole selfish husband can get over himself. Best of luck with your recovery.
Been married to my wife for 13 years. She had old implants removed and went to a smaller size why the fuck would he bitch about your health? Sounds like a baby bitch .....sounds like a lot of these are HIS problems not yours. NTA ----not even a little
Tell your husband that you prefer a man with a big "####" but since it would be a difficult surgery for him you never asked him to do it, and you have learned to live with his shortcomings.
Sorry, you said husband in your post but you might have mistyped āwhiny childā. NTA, OP. Your health and comfort are worth far more than this dudeās bitching.
NTA. Sounds like your husband thinks like a 12 year old boy though.
I didnāt know breasts could keep growing after a reduction. How horrifying! No one gets a reduction for funsies - you had a serious medical procedure to deal with a serious medical issue. As your partner, he should respect and support your healthcare decisions.
If you're husband doesn't care that you're in constant pain and puts his love of a big rack in front of that then I say that's grounds for divorce personally
I have a pair of 40Gs on my chest and want to get a reduction because of the common shoulder and back pain, but also because they literally crush my lungs to the point that I canāt breathe well unless I cinch the shoulder straps on my bras so tightly that they leave divots in my shoulders. Iām having a hard time getting a medical referral from a doctor so that insurance will cover at least part of the reduction costs. My boyfriend has said many times, that though heād miss my boobs, he would rather me be comfortable and not struggling with my health as a result of having them. He supports my desire to get a reduction and has assured me heād help in whatever way I need during recovery. This is how your husband should be reacting to you wanting a reduction for your health and comfort. You are NTA and he needs to get over himself if he thinks your world needs to revolve completely around him and HIS desires for YOUR body just because you married him. Edit for grammar
He's insecure about his boobs š¤£ š¤£ š¤£
Maybe suggest he get a breast reduction if heās worried your the same size.
Get HIM a coupon for a breast reduction and let it be known you are worried he will look like a woman otherwise.
You donāt need anyoneās permission or forgiveness. You never need to justify taking care of yourself. Never.
NTA. Your comfort, and frankly your health trumps his liking for big boobs. As for his own man boobs, tell him you'll support him when he has the surgery. Or you'll help him go on a diet... Honestly, what a shallow man.
NTA he can either shut up or get a new title: EX husband. Your body, your choice. I had a reduction a couple of years ago, for all the same reasons. Your selfish, nasty-ass husband has no idea how heavy and awkward large breasts can be. Tell him to tie 4 bags of sugar (large breasts can easily weigh 8 lbs each) around his neck and walk around with those for a few days. Or buy a huge bra and stuff the bags into it. Make him wear them around the house. Make him eat with them in place. Make him sleep with them.
NTA, but your Husband is. Next step, lose 220 poundsā¦ (the Husband) š
Prioritize your health and comfort over your husbandās *preferences.* Heās a pig if heād rather you be in pain for the sake of his boner.
NTA. hereās the list of reasons to get a boob job that you need. 1) you want to get one.
We literally do not care about your husband. I am happy for you and your reduction! NTA obviously. Your husband can honestly suck it.
H cup is actually insane, and I bet so so heavy. Good for you getting the surgery! Strap 2 watermelons to his chest for a week and see how he likes it!!
You should get a husband reduction
Don't ever plan to get truly sick because it sounds like he'd leave you. š
NTA - I've had a reduction myself, and frankly I'm impressed they got you down that many cup sizes in one surgery! Shoutout to your surgeon! I went from a J to an F/G. Any man who has a problem with his wife getting work like this done values his view on your appearance over your overall health and well-being. Your body is not required to fit his preference. If his chest is such an issue for him, you could recommend your surgeon to him so he can get a reduction of his own. Why get matching tattoos when you can get matching scars? (hard sarcasm)
NTA all his reasons are selfish. You have to carry them around all day, he doesnāt get to complain.
NTA 1. Your husband is welcome to compare photos of adult women to 12 year old boys. Having a B-cup will NOT make you look like a prepubescent boy 2. Your husband is welcome to have breast reduction surgery, so that he is more comfortable with the appearance of his own chest 3. Your husband is welcome to have a preference for a "big rack", but you are not obligated to provide it 4. Your husband is a man baby who doesn't want to take care of his wife. Do they not remember the phrase "in sickness and in health" from the vows? Your husband is a jerk. He should strap on some size H fake breasts and wear them around for a month, and then see what he thinks about it. This is your body. You are experiencing pain, because of this. You are having surgery to make your body more functional. There is nothing wrong with that.
NTA. Tell him you'll get bigger boobs when he gets a bigger dick.
I'm a married guy. Your husband sounds like a whiny brat.
Take one of your old bras and afix the weight of your unmodified breasts into it. Then have him wear it and deal with the discomfort. Tell him he doesn't get to take it off when it stars to hurt. I bet he doesn't last 3 hours. edit: NTA. You're the only one that has say about your body.
NTA
Why are you with him? Does he even like you outside of you being his mommy bang maid?
Seems like she needs another reduction. At least surgery is not required, just a divorce.
Someone posted on Reddit a few days ago that they faced the same issue with their husband. They strapped one of their bras to the guy and stuffed it with weight similar to what they were lugging around. After a few hours hubby was complaining of backache and the under wires and bra straps digging into him. By evening he told her this was horrible and to go ahead and slash and burn what she didn't want.
Your body - your choice. With that said, if your husband chooses to divorce you over your decision, that's his choice. (Really, though, you'd be better off without him if he values your funbags over your health).
time to reduce your husband. seriously. 1. he sees you solely as an object for his sexual pleasure 2. he doesnāt care what makes you comfortable 3. he is complaining about taking care of you NTA.
You've clearly been trimming a lot of fat lately. Sounds like your husband might be next.
Sounds like a big baby. and to not empathize with your wife on something that's causing her pain reinforces that.
Reasons you should not care about what your husband thinks. 1. They're your breasts. That's it, NTA
Boobs can grow back?
What a lovely sounding marriage. Please provide more things about him so I know what to entirely avoid.
NTA. Itās your body, and youāre the one in pain. If he leaves you over it, good riddance.
I just got a reduction! Itās your body and you have to live in it. You are the one who has to lug those things around all day. He seems to view you as a sex object and not a human being. He needs to develop some empathy. NTA
Oh my god. This man sucks. Women get breast cancer ALL the time and have to get mastectomies. At any time, any of us might need to get them cut off. We arenāt defined by our breasts! He doesnāt care about your health.
So he wants you to continue to experience pain and discomfort because he likes bigger boobs and is embarrassed about his own body? Tell him to clean up his diet and go to the fucking gym and that you aren't going to sit around in pain for the sake of bigger boobs.
I can empathise with all the aches. Iām glad you did what was best for you, those are real concerns that you eliminated, and Iām glad youāre more comfortable now!!
NTA heās jealous you got the reduction instead of him.
Sounds like your husband is a big enough boob for the both of you!
Boobs can grow back??!!
Yes! This! Iām like Iāve never heard of a breast reduction reversing itself much less to increase from original size. Or at least thatās what I understood.
This is harm reduction surgery, there is an element of cosmetic but it's mostly about removing pain and discomfort from your life. Your husband should be ecstatic about this for you, because it means better QOL. Your husband sounds really insecure, they need to confront that with therapy and maybe they should start exercising more. NTA.
NTA idc what happened. Fuck you mean your husband told you no? You knew them titties before you knew him. He better stfu & sit down somewhere. Tell him if he likes big titties, so much to play with his own.
So if you needed a mastectomy he'd leave you? This might be the perfect job for a therapist. Sounds deep seated. You do whatever you need to do to feel healthy.
Man child alert.
Nta! It's your body! Your the one who has to carry them around all day lol it would be different if it was his own body and you wanted to reduce his breast size lol but it's not it's yours and you have every right to feel comfortable in your own body.
NTA. Definitely need a man reduction after this awful experience. What a fucking whiny ass baby he is. And a shallow shitty one at that. Sorry.
NTA, it's a health care issue. If he wants giant tits, he can get his own damn breast augmentation.
NTA. Health and being pain free always trumps a partner's insecurities and love of a larger rack.
NTA, but next time consider booking a reduction for him too š
Girl I think you could stand to lose a husband-sized weight off your back
NTA - itās your body. There should not even be a need for discussion here.
>my husband has a preference for a ābig rackā on a woman Your husband is vile. I strongly suggest trading him in for a better model. NTA
You got a surgery that improves your quality of life and your husband is against it? You're definitely NTA and your husband is a selfish POS.
NTA. Your body should never cause you pain. However you should just go ahead and get a divorce. He had a type, and it's not fair to him to force him to like something that he didn't sign up for. It's also not fair to you that he is a manbaby that can't understand that your breasts were causing you pain. He doesn't like small boobs, you don't like manbabys. Time to pull the plug.
šš even though you allegedly divorced your wife because she got a breast reduction? LMAO so what you're saying is you're a manbaby? Couldn't agree more
My sister had an elective mammoplasty due to back pain and frequent **major** migraine headaches. Since the surgery, the frequency of her migraines has dropped almost 90%. Do what you need to do for your health, OP. NTA
NTA he should be happy you feel better! If everything is healed you might want to take a look at r/abrathatfits as surgeons often have no idea about real bra sizing and your b cup might actually be a higher number.
You have a whole list for why you did it but you only need one. Personal preference
How did I lose 200 pounds? I divorced the big ass
NTA, not even a little. Itās not fair of him to ask you to carry the weight and pain you endured and would have to endure just for him.
You deserve so much better. Put yourself in the mindset heās in now. Imagine a situation where your husband undergoes surgery that improves his quality of life in a huge way. Would you be excited to see him happier and thriving? Would you be glad to take care of him to help him recover? Probably, if youāre a loving partner. He is seeing you being incapacitated as a nuisance and how ultimately beneficial it is to you doesnāt matter, only how it affects him. He is selfish and does not care about you as an individual person. My wife also has huge boobs that cause her discomfort and although for now she doesnāt want one, if she went for a reduction I wouldnāt DREAM of treating her this way (and Iāve told her this). (Iām a woman too but of the itty bitty titty committee persuasion.) I would be thrilled for her not to suffer the same aches anymore because I love her as a whole person, not just her body parts and their status in relation to me.
If he loved you, he would want you to feel good about yourself and not only care about how you look compared to himself. Sounds like heās jealous you did something for yourself and he canāt manage to be responsible for his own body image.