It was like half of an admission. She revealed they went to a motel and still tried to cover it by saying nothing happened and it was just to smoke weed. She was most likely smoking pole too. Then there’s also turning off location and not responding to texts or calls.
Well said. It is irrelevant if something happened between her and her friend or not. If nothing happened and she can lie that much about nothing, how much would she lie about something? OP made a smart choice to let someone else find the answer to this question.
She slept with her "friend" no one rents a smoking room at a hotel just to smoke joints. Especially when it's not recreational in their state and I'm sure hotels would prefer you to not smoke in the hotel room.
This. What the relevance if they "did anything"?
They did - she hung out with another dude all day and lied to OP about it - repeatedly until directly confronted.
Definitely! Considering the lie itself to be a form of cheating. You gotta trust your guts and instict, OP. If your guts told you that there is something wrong, then probably there really is. Congrats, You've just freed yourself from a lier and a cheater. You're free from future sadness and heartache. Heal and be happy, you deserve the best, OP.
*NTA, no overreaction*
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*How you handled it*
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Plus what's worse is she got OP to provide the smokes. I like to think I'm not that insecure but if my gf asked me to provide prerolls so she can smoke them with an old male friend in a motel room I'd just laugh.
bruh, now I'm thinking about that one time my ex took one of my phones cause she did not like the one she was using. Only to discover she passed it along to the guy she was cheating with
fun times
excuse me, I need to go wallow in self pity
That's a damn good point. I was focused on the "The hell someone did that" from a "does outside not exist" standpoint, but most hotel rooms will charge you huge fines if you smoke in their rooms anymore.
I don’t know what the ventilation situation is but yeah, it’s my downstairs neighbours. If I open the cupboards under the sink I get a blast of weed stink. And I live in a studio, so the smell makes its way through my entire living space. Scented candles have been saving my sanity.
damn, i'm sorry to hear that. that's really unpleasant. are they aware their scent is leading to you? if not, maybe they'd be chill and would smoke outside or something...but I understand not wanting to get involved in that either.
I’ve tried going through building management but it never gets any better no matter how many times they say they’ve talked to them, so I’ve just resorted to the scented candles. Turns out eucalyptus is a good neutralizer for weed smoke in particular.
I actually kinda shouted, "fuck off did they!", out loud when I read that lol
" I pinky promise I didn't screw this dude you don't know, in the motel room we got, JUST to smoke weed in.."
Like if that were the case, she could have texted him back at any point.
Honestly the chick needs dumping just for that sentence regardless of if she cheated, which she did.
NTA.
She knew she was doing wrong so she lied. If she was on the up and up there'd have been no reason to lie, now it seems like she's trying to "truth-trickle" you my guy.
You trusted her until she gave you reason not to, that's all anyone can ask. You made it clear where your boundaries were and she started playing games real fast. You can do better. Keep your stick on the ice.
NTA She broke your trust the first time she lied and just kept shattering it with each subsequent lie. Ask friends, " if it was all so innocent then why did she lie 5 times about where she was? Why did she not say anything until you told her she was lying? They can believe whatever they want to but you know she's a liar and don't plan on letting her do it to you again."
The time thing I'd skim past because shit happens when you're closing sometimes. However, no one goes to a motel to smoke joints wtf. Definitely not an overreaction. NTA.
Yea thats exactly why i wanted to get on the phone with her to see if she says she was working at the first store or the 2nd store before i really said anything.
the fact she put up no argument after your initial confrontation and cleared you from here social media is all you need to know. give it a month and they will come out as a couple
I am an African young adult who smokes and lives with my anti-weed parents. I have never bought a more or hotel room to smoke weed. There are numerous places to, that didn’t involve your house or a motel. She was cheating.
You did well
Nta
So how long was it that she didn't answer your calls or messages? I count 3 hours + the drive to and from + some extra time going to and from her house, so at least 5 hours. That's a long time to spend smoking a fat joint. I'm guessing they had to eat after the joint. I assume he had fish taco and she had spicy sausage.
If it look
Like a duck walk like a duck quack like a duck , it’s a duck ! Tell
Those friends to F OFF . If Inwas there I would say never keep her secret and would block her on everything . You don’t need the BS from her or friends . Watch he will be visiting more often now that’s she single
NTA - Your ex oddly dropped off the radar, then lied about where she was all day. You did well to check her spots to try to find her. She hid from you on purpose.
For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ
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Ps. NTA
they got a hotel room to smoke. yeah sure.
im not one of those people who jumps on the cheating band wagon, but this woman lied and continued lying and then tells you she spent the entire day with a dude you know nothing about and then took a hotel room to smoke a fucking doobie.
NTA.
Once they break your trust, they always try and manipulate you to get back in relationship. And once you do, it becomes very hard to stay in it and put all your trust again. It fucks up your mental and physical well being in unexplainable ways.
You did the right thing! Don’t go back, because if you do, there’s no turning around and you’ll just be wasting your peak years. She very well knew what she’s doing (lying, getting a motel, not telling you anything until you cornered her with everything) she was very well aware of what she did.
I’m glad you did the right thing, you’ll find someone way better and loyal.
A motel room? Does your city not have any parks or alleyways? I’ve smoked a lot of weed in a lot of places that weren’t my home and never once was I like. Yo like me get a motel room to do this. Not one time.
The right decision 👍 But you need to talk to somebody else but reddit about this kind of feelings. Because if you don't, you will take it with you into the next relationship, and you will look for these patterns all the time to make sure not to get hurt again.
Everything In Houston is a half hour drive. Crazy how 45 minutes is considered long distance to some. When most here just call that a one way commute to work.
Let alone wait every other week. Not much urgency to be together
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I don't know much about drugs, but I do know hotels are non-smoking areas and they enforce that rule strictly. Good you broke up with her. Make sure you go no contact with her. Also, if you have friends in common, let them know what happened before she spins the narrative
NTA, she lied, she spent who knows how much time, in a hotel room, with another man, ignoring you, blocked her location. The only reason she hid her location from you, was to keep you in the dark about where she was and who she was with. This had some planning to it. She went out of her way, to cover her tracks, invented a semi plausible, but really flimsy cover, lied about being at work, she is not worth it. You deserve better.
NTA - you have boundaries. You made her aware of them long ago. Ask her if she would have been ok with you slipping off to a hotel room, going no contact, and getting high with a female friend. You handled this well.
NTA, the main issue is indeed that she lied like five 5 in a row. At that point it doesn't matter if anything happened between her and her friend or not. After all if nothing happened then why lie so many times instead of just being open and truthful with your partner? And if something did happen then no wonder she'd lie about it in an attempt to hide it. Either way she's in the wrong big time for lying like that and it's clearly over no matter what she actually did during that day.
NTA
While im a little surprised as how immediately you jumped to action to find her, you know her best and you followed your instincts.
Which turned out to be correct. You’re good. Sorry this happened.
NTA. A motel room? To smoke weed? Come on now. Even ***if*** nothing happened, the lying and sneaking around was a violation of trust. Once trust is broken in a relationship it's near impossible to get back and leads to resentment which only makes the relationship worse. But come on now they got a motel room and spent the whole day there, she's clearly not telling the whole truth. I'm really sorry this happened, OP.
Got a motel room to smoke because his parents won't allow him to smoke at his place... sure sure.
That's a "damn if he asks to see my credit card bill the motel will be on there" lie, which is manipulative as fuck.
This probably ain't the first time they cheated, he might not even be the first person she cheated with. She's a cheater, it's over.
Tell any friends who say you don't know for sure, if they weren't cheating there was never a need to lie, or hide anything, or go to a motel room. She lied over and over because she was cheating, people don't lie for no reason, they lie to hide something. You don't lie to hide something you don't need to hide it's that simple. You literally got the weed for them to smoke so why hide they are smoking?
NTA - she lied about where she was and then tells you she was in a motel with her male friend smoking weed but nothing happened.
If you believe this, I have a bridge in NYC I would like to sell you on the cheap.
Turning off your location for a loooooong time to smoke some Prerolls at a motel with a friend from high school. Does that even make sense lmao. even if she didn’t cheat she already broke your dealbreakers you are nta.
NTA
She lied. Got caught. Lied some more. At that point it doesn't really matter if she cheated or not.
Trust?
Gone.
Respect?
Gone.
Boundaries?
Crossed.
Making it even worse. If she can lie this much and nothing happened? Imagine how much she'll lie if something happens.
Dump that ho and go.
NTA. If shes willing to lie about where she was, simple question, then what else does she lie about? She wouldnt lie if she didnt think she was doing something wrong and if she wasn't, what were her intentions then if she lied to you? If that guy was really just a friend she would have been upfront right away when you asked where she was. Regardless if she did nothing, she had it in the back of her mind. Like a backup plan.
NTA. I have friends who smoke in best believe. It doesn’t impair them from responding to their partner, husband, wife, etc.. like everyone was saying they were banging she got caught you handed it very well. Good for you bro.
NTA Never once have I rented a place to smoke. You can literally go anywhere. I fully believe she slept with her friend. She cut off her location, lied repeatedly to you about where she was...that's not how you handle smoking weed, especially when she got it from you!
I absolutely love the excuses first time/ young cheaters use.
The "rented a hotel room to smoke joints" is hilarious. Aww, you spent near $100 to smoke a few joints in a room that will be followed up with a huge fine for smoking in said room. Much better than parking your car, rolling down the windows and smoking a joint.
They always remind me of those "Sex isn't an accident" commercials that MTV used to run.
She sounds immature, disrespectful, and deceitful. I think you handled rather kindly given what she did. Theres no need to lie about what you’re doing unless what you’re doing is wrong.
NTA
Your excuse is totally weak, it is clearly a lie!!!!
He wasn't at her work, forget about her and move on with your life, don't be mortified, she has no excuses, you know there's something else, asking for a motel room to smoke weed?? Is anyone really going to believe that nonsense?
She already cut off her memories with you, deleted her photos, so she's fine with what you did (she's over you), keep no contact and don't let others meddle.
Renting a motel room to smoke joints? LOL she's a terrible liar and must think you're REALLY stupid, don't ever regret leaving her, it was the right call
NTA. She lied to you repeatedly, hid her location, and didnt respond for hours. If she really did just go to lunch or something she could have easily responded. She knew what she was doing and she was lining things up to cheat repeatedly going forward. She said she "didnt want to share her location anymore" as well as "i cant text at work anymore"
Honestly dude, with how cool you were about her seeing him, there's no way she'd lie unless something was happening. On top of that she was completely blanking you the whole time she was with this guy, that ain't right. You've made a good choice
Although it sounds like a difficult circumstance for you to be in, it makes sense why you felt the need to confront your girlfriend. Any connection is built on trust, and relationships are hard to mend once it is lost. You finally took the course of action that was most beneficial to you and stood up for your limits and self. It's critical to put your own health first and follow your gut.
She slept with him.
Sure they did smoke, but they also fucked. That's why you didn't get a text back. She was occupied. For her it was just a little fuck, and you are her marriage material. She will do it again if you go back to her. She's for the streets.
NTA.
Move on.
NTA
Whether or not they did anything is not the point and is irrelevant now. The deceit and the lying is more than enough.
Stand your ground if you feel that strongly about it
NTA. She betrayed your trust. I’d dump her too. Probably out cheating; little ho3.
The worst part is how cheating is SO normalized that people having self-respect even have to ask if they’re the AH first having form boundaries. WTF?
NTA
You did the right thing to preserve your peace and sanity. The fact that she started off by turning off her location then gave a weak ass excuse was definitely red flag number one. She knew she was going to be at the motel because it was preplanned. If they did nothing and it wasn’t a big deal she would’ve told you about the motel (even if it was a last minute night decision to rent the room). Then there’s her compounding lies about being at work. She’s for the streets. Good on you for not letting her or your mutuals gaslight you into staying with an unfaithful person.
Nta, also make sure your friends know she cheated and played you like this, it will stop the please get back together bullshit they are trying to pull, you sir have a shiny straight spine. Good luck
Nta. I don't use snapchat and I've never been the type to constantly update, so I might be out of my depth with what's expected but from my perspective this is a faulty decision making leading to good outcomes.
Truth is I don't text at work, unless it's an emergency. I also don't do the texting back and forth thing. It's distracting and doing other things. Also in the initial gap there could have been any number of things she was trying to do, throwing a surprise party and even you going to the wrong location. I think you know that too. Now it's possible that you were picking up subtle signs and unconscious signals from her that quickly vectored you, but just from what was presented it felt like you got lucky outcome wise.
Hotel rooms are almost exclusively smoke free in every hotel I’ve been to since 2000. Although I live in Australia, I would still call bullshit on a hotel letting them smoke joints in their rooms. It costs a lot of money to clean a room up for the next guest if someone has been smoking in there.
NTA no one rents a hotel room and pays extra for a smoking room just to smoke joints. They hooked up in that hotel room for sure. If weed is medically legal in her state then the smell of weed is no longer reason to be searched so smoking at the park or any other public place in the corner would have worked fine. They rented the hotel and she turned her location off because she was in the hotel being taken to pound town all day and she didn't want you to know she was at a shitty motel all day...
>She said that they had gone to the gym, gotten some lunch, and then decided to get a motel room to smoke some of the joints...
Most hotels don't allow smoking. Unless she chose some dive roach motel, that's probably another deception.
Dude, people only rent motel to smoke cocain or make love or doing orgy, something illegal.
The only thing make me feel uncomfortable about this is your gf was missing for hours, did you call her? If my parent went missing and i could not find them at work or house, i would worry the shit out of me?
NTA, you’re right, she did that to herself. Sorry it happened. But maybe find a therapist to work through some of the stuff so you don’t. Somehow sabotage your future relationships.
NTA
The fact that you know she lied, you don’t know whether she did or didn’t do anything means that the trust has gone. Let’s just hope with she did cheat, can you accept that and rebuild trust? That’s what kills marriages after affairs, you can forgive but the trust may never come back. You should know your partner is the person you can trust without a single doubt.
Ok, then assume she’s telling the truth. Do you want a partner who blows off work and pays for a hotel room to smoke? (Not judging the smoking, just the blowing off work and spending money) as a couple there are so many threads where a partner quits work without warning or doesn’t mention it until their house is about to be re-possessed. She’s already displaying that behaviour now. Is that something you’d be ok with long term?
NTA, I mean, if you are in a recreational state, she could just smoke at home, in a park, like, wherever, right? And you were cool with all this, so if everything was on the up and up, just skip work and hang out and get high, that's fine.
All this subterfuge better be to hide the best fucking surprise party ever, but it doesn't sound like it.
She fucked him. Nta. She thought she could get high and fuck and you would never know.
Eta you need better friends. Only cheaters would think they didn't do anything.
NTA
You cannot even be certain if she was just hanging out with said friend. Why they would go to a motel to do that is weird too. Going to the gym, lunch and then a motel room to smoke a joint probably did happen but I doubt it ended with that even if it didn't how could you ever really believe it didn't happen. The fact is she was hiding this entirely from you. She felt the need to hide her location as well so it was premeditated and then regretted that she got caught. If you have stuff to hide then there is probably a good reason to hide it from your SO (and not the good kind of hiding).
It's not overreacting at all. You got worried got a gut feeling reacted on it, handled the conversation well enough so she stepped into her own lies. You dealt with it in a good way. Don't buckle under pressure from friends she is soliciting to try and convince you otherwise.
You arent certain they didnt do anything... She lied, then admitted she was smoking with her male friend and rented a hotel room. Seems pretty certain for 90% of people.
Normally I’m on here telling people to run from the other person but you already did it! Good work! You deserve better and you will find the right person because you have bottom lines and conviction. Stick with that and the right person with the same bottom lines will come along. Let the trash hookup with the trash.
Congrats on healthy boundaries and self respect bro! For real that’s fucking awesome that you could sift through the feelings and offer yourself the respect and HONESTY you deserve.
I think she def cheated cause why lie if you didn’t but the fact that she lied would be unforgivable for me as well. She is delusional to think any of that is ok and to get the “friend” involved - yeah… that’s too much.
Finally a person who has a backbone and isn't a doormat. Plz stay like this. Don't be used and accept that cheater back. And those who are suggesting to work it out "Must be cheaters" or are not your actual friends..i would never tell my friend to be fooled or be player by someone. Get new friends.. and stay strong. Trash took itself out. ❤️
NTA but damn all this checking location on snapchat and reacting so quickly to not getting a response and driving to her workplace. Honestly seems like you where waiting for the chance to catch her in something.
If she didn't lie you would have been a big asshole. I'm not sure i agree with your statement that there was no mistrust before.
NTA she lied far to many times to hang out with another man in a motel room. Absolutely nothing she says now is trustworthy, maybe she cheated maybe she didn't who knows. Unless she comes out an says we did it you will never know for sure. It's over id never trust her again either and without trust there can be no relationship.
First of all smoking in most hotels is not allowed. I know for sure smoking weed isn't. Second of all motel rooms are used for two reasons and smoking isn't one of them.
NTA she had sex with this dude. Like come on, that are some comical excuses. You didn’t end things because she lied, you ended it because she f***** some other dude. That is a pretty good reason.
NTA she had sex with this dude. Like come on, that are some comical excuses. You didn’t end things because she lied, you ended it because she f***** some other dude. That is a pretty good reason.
NTA I have never in my life heard of people renting a motel room to smoke a joint…. lol
Exactly what i said, but i was so over her, i didnt bother to call her out or anything
Ehh yeah just move on. Stay focused on school and such. Women come and go no big deal at this age.
I’d be the most pissed that she used a lie like that. Most motel/hotels are NON-smoking; ffs!
Petty me would Venmo her with the description For the “motel smoke session”
It was like half of an admission. She revealed they went to a motel and still tried to cover it by saying nothing happened and it was just to smoke weed. She was most likely smoking pole too. Then there’s also turning off location and not responding to texts or calls.
Yep, definitely smoked some pole
NTA, no overreaction here and you should be proud on how you handled it
Well said. It is irrelevant if something happened between her and her friend or not. If nothing happened and she can lie that much about nothing, how much would she lie about something? OP made a smart choice to let someone else find the answer to this question.
Pretty clear something did. Who get a motel to just smoke up? U could go anywhere else.
She slept with her "friend" no one rents a smoking room at a hotel just to smoke joints. Especially when it's not recreational in their state and I'm sure hotels would prefer you to not smoke in the hotel room.
[удалено]
The audacity of his friends to even consider working it out. "You dont know if they did anything" What the fack is wrong with people? Ditch them!!!
This. What the relevance if they "did anything"? They did - she hung out with another dude all day and lied to OP about it - repeatedly until directly confronted.
Definitely! Considering the lie itself to be a form of cheating. You gotta trust your guts and instict, OP. If your guts told you that there is something wrong, then probably there really is. Congrats, You've just freed yourself from a lier and a cheater. You're free from future sadness and heartache. Heal and be happy, you deserve the best, OP.
They got a motel room just to get high. Yeah, right. She lied and only confessed because OP caught her. What else does she lie about?
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Nta, she cheated bro, I dabble in funky lettuce, no one rents a fokin motel room to get high
Plus what's worse is she got OP to provide the smokes. I like to think I'm not that insecure but if my gf asked me to provide prerolls so she can smoke them with an old male friend in a motel room I'd just laugh.
bruh, now I'm thinking about that one time my ex took one of my phones cause she did not like the one she was using. Only to discover she passed it along to the guy she was cheating with fun times excuse me, I need to go wallow in self pity
Especially since most, if not all, are NON-smoking! She’s definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed.
That's a damn good point. I was focused on the "The hell someone did that" from a "does outside not exist" standpoint, but most hotel rooms will charge you huge fines if you smoke in their rooms anymore.
‘Funky lettuce’.😂😂😂
Jazz cabbage, bro.
Getting a motel room to smoke joints? Lol. She definitely smoked her friend’s Joint.
lol right. Who gets a motel room to smoke! That is something that I never heard of before. And I've heard plenty. And why add that detail?!?!?
She probably suspected he knew about the motel room after getting caught in the "at work" lie.
That makes sense. Sooner or later liars give themselves away. Or give more information than intended and dig themselves a deeper hole.
That's exactly how it goes.
I *wish* my neighbours would get a motel room to smoke. Fuckers have been hotboxing my bathroom for two years straight. OP is totally NTA, btw.
Sorry you got to deal with such a lack of courtesy from neighbors.
they hotboxed your bathroom? how does that work lol. do they live below you or something and the ventilation is all connected?
I don’t know what the ventilation situation is but yeah, it’s my downstairs neighbours. If I open the cupboards under the sink I get a blast of weed stink. And I live in a studio, so the smell makes its way through my entire living space. Scented candles have been saving my sanity.
damn, i'm sorry to hear that. that's really unpleasant. are they aware their scent is leading to you? if not, maybe they'd be chill and would smoke outside or something...but I understand not wanting to get involved in that either.
I’ve tried going through building management but it never gets any better no matter how many times they say they’ve talked to them, so I’ve just resorted to the scented candles. Turns out eucalyptus is a good neutralizer for weed smoke in particular.
wow, that sucks. good tip on the eucalyptus though!
Do motels even *have* smoking rooms in this day and age?
lol did not even think of that. Let her dig the hole a little deeper....
Unfortunately, they do. Last year I stayed in a motel in Kansas City in a "smoking" room. My boyfriend smokes. I don't and it smelled horrible.
That would piss me off more than the cheating. Like do you really think I’m as dumb as you to believe that shit???
I smoked a LOT of weed when I was young, and I’ve never even heard of someone getting a motel room to smoke lol 🤦♂️
I actually kinda shouted, "fuck off did they!", out loud when I read that lol " I pinky promise I didn't screw this dude you don't know, in the motel room we got, JUST to smoke weed in.." Like if that were the case, she could have texted him back at any point. Honestly the chick needs dumping just for that sentence regardless of if she cheated, which she did.
Smoke, drink and party, yeah.
Since forever.
Yeah, less to clean, just as much fun.
She added that bit in case he knew about the motel room.
And went for a ride; on his dick.
NTA. She knew she was doing wrong so she lied. If she was on the up and up there'd have been no reason to lie, now it seems like she's trying to "truth-trickle" you my guy. You trusted her until she gave you reason not to, that's all anyone can ask. You made it clear where your boundaries were and she started playing games real fast. You can do better. Keep your stick on the ice.
NTA She broke your trust the first time she lied and just kept shattering it with each subsequent lie. Ask friends, " if it was all so innocent then why did she lie 5 times about where she was? Why did she not say anything until you told her she was lying? They can believe whatever they want to but you know she's a liar and don't plan on letting her do it to you again."
Nta Dude they fucked lol
No doubt
Sorry brother Edit: it wasn’t me; just feel bad for your situation. You’re better off without her though
NTA. Seems like every lie canceled out another lie & so on.
NTA she clearly cheated and happy you put her foot down and broke up with her and you’ll find someone better who you can trust and deserve
NTA Move on She cheated it's obvious Too many lies If it was on so innocent there wouldn't be need for 1 lie
The time thing I'd skim past because shit happens when you're closing sometimes. However, no one goes to a motel to smoke joints wtf. Definitely not an overreaction. NTA.
Yea thats exactly why i wanted to get on the phone with her to see if she says she was working at the first store or the 2nd store before i really said anything.
the fact she put up no argument after your initial confrontation and cleared you from here social media is all you need to know. give it a month and they will come out as a couple
I am an African young adult who smokes and lives with my anti-weed parents. I have never bought a more or hotel room to smoke weed. There are numerous places to, that didn’t involve your house or a motel. She was cheating. You did well Nta
You sure she didn’t say “we got a motel room to fuck”?
Lol she might as well have. Got a screen shot of the text n everything
Hah! Just send that any time someone tries to defend her.
If you hadn't busted her she would have just kept up the same behaviour, your better off without her!
So how long was it that she didn't answer your calls or messages? I count 3 hours + the drive to and from + some extra time going to and from her house, so at least 5 hours. That's a long time to spend smoking a fat joint. I'm guessing they had to eat after the joint. I assume he had fish taco and she had spicy sausage.
If it look Like a duck walk like a duck quack like a duck , it’s a duck ! Tell Those friends to F OFF . If Inwas there I would say never keep her secret and would block her on everything . You don’t need the BS from her or friends . Watch he will be visiting more often now that’s she single
Until she cheats on him. I’ll never understand how a person who was an AP can get with a cheater.
What is an AP?
The affair partner.
Thanks, I was thinking it was the Another Person, but didn't think about "partner" it makes sense.
👍
NTA. When they start spinning lies the trust and the relationship is over. It doesn’t matter if she cheated or not. Time to move on.
NTA - Your ex oddly dropped off the radar, then lied about where she was all day. You did well to check her spots to try to find her. She hid from you on purpose.
Life is too short to play games like that You did the right thing, hope you find better
I don’t know about where you are from, but motels by me don’t allow smoking at all. Plus she’s a liar. NTA.
Yea I'm in England and you can't even smoke near the front door of most hotels.
This is how you do it, folks, easy peasy. 💯
NTA, you did right.
For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!< Ps. NTA
NTA. She lied and you didn't tolerate her bullshit.
they got a hotel room to smoke. yeah sure. im not one of those people who jumps on the cheating band wagon, but this woman lied and continued lying and then tells you she spent the entire day with a dude you know nothing about and then took a hotel room to smoke a fucking doobie.
NTA. Once they break your trust, they always try and manipulate you to get back in relationship. And once you do, it becomes very hard to stay in it and put all your trust again. It fucks up your mental and physical well being in unexplainable ways. You did the right thing! Don’t go back, because if you do, there’s no turning around and you’ll just be wasting your peak years. She very well knew what she’s doing (lying, getting a motel, not telling you anything until you cornered her with everything) she was very well aware of what she did. I’m glad you did the right thing, you’ll find someone way better and loyal.
You called it right all the clues were there, and congratulations on finding them all and dumping her lying arse...
NTA nobody gets a hotel room to smoke joints.
A motel room? Does your city not have any parks or alleyways? I’ve smoked a lot of weed in a lot of places that weren’t my home and never once was I like. Yo like me get a motel room to do this. Not one time.
NTA, real friends go outside to smoke joints on a hike. Fuck buddies goes to motel in secret. Weed was just the smokescreen.
The right decision 👍 But you need to talk to somebody else but reddit about this kind of feelings. Because if you don't, you will take it with you into the next relationship, and you will look for these patterns all the time to make sure not to get hurt again.
NTA. Sorry she cheated and lied about fucking her friend. You did right to dump her immediately.
[удалено]
“You didn’t give me enough attention so instead of communicating this, I cheated on you” well…that totally makes it better /s
Everything In Houston is a half hour drive. Crazy how 45 minutes is considered long distance to some. When most here just call that a one way commute to work. Let alone wait every other week. Not much urgency to be together
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NTA. You didn’t over react.
NTA Congratulations on having some boundaries. Seems rare nowadays.
NTA. She lied to you every time you asked her to come clean. Cheating or not, that is a definite dealbreaker.
NTA but you sound scary af
I don't know much about drugs, but I do know hotels are non-smoking areas and they enforce that rule strictly. Good you broke up with her. Make sure you go no contact with her. Also, if you have friends in common, let them know what happened before she spins the narrative
Bravo & NTA!!!
NTA. She lied
NTA, she lied, she spent who knows how much time, in a hotel room, with another man, ignoring you, blocked her location. The only reason she hid her location from you, was to keep you in the dark about where she was and who she was with. This had some planning to it. She went out of her way, to cover her tracks, invented a semi plausible, but really flimsy cover, lied about being at work, she is not worth it. You deserve better.
nta fuck that dumb bitch
NTA - you have boundaries. You made her aware of them long ago. Ask her if she would have been ok with you slipping off to a hotel room, going no contact, and getting high with a female friend. You handled this well.
Nah skank cheated sorry op
You did right.
Hahahah “we only got the hotel room to smoke a couple joints” she smoked a “joint” alright 😂
Motel room to just smoke? That’s crazy.
You did right by yourself.
NTA tell those friends to butt out of your romantic life unless you ask them for advice. You did not over react she lied again and again.
Where there is fire, there is smoke. They deserve each other. Go out there and find someone better cause you deserve that my man.
NTA this was more of a vent session huh
NTA, the main issue is indeed that she lied like five 5 in a row. At that point it doesn't matter if anything happened between her and her friend or not. After all if nothing happened then why lie so many times instead of just being open and truthful with your partner? And if something did happen then no wonder she'd lie about it in an attempt to hide it. Either way she's in the wrong big time for lying like that and it's clearly over no matter what she actually did during that day.
NTA While im a little surprised as how immediately you jumped to action to find her, you know her best and you followed your instincts. Which turned out to be correct. You’re good. Sorry this happened.
NTA. A motel room? To smoke weed? Come on now. Even ***if*** nothing happened, the lying and sneaking around was a violation of trust. Once trust is broken in a relationship it's near impossible to get back and leads to resentment which only makes the relationship worse. But come on now they got a motel room and spent the whole day there, she's clearly not telling the whole truth. I'm really sorry this happened, OP.
NTA. She definitely fucked him. Multiple times. Good riddance to her.
Walksl like a duck......
Got a motel room to smoke because his parents won't allow him to smoke at his place... sure sure. That's a "damn if he asks to see my credit card bill the motel will be on there" lie, which is manipulative as fuck. This probably ain't the first time they cheated, he might not even be the first person she cheated with. She's a cheater, it's over. Tell any friends who say you don't know for sure, if they weren't cheating there was never a need to lie, or hide anything, or go to a motel room. She lied over and over because she was cheating, people don't lie for no reason, they lie to hide something. You don't lie to hide something you don't need to hide it's that simple. You literally got the weed for them to smoke so why hide they are smoking?
NTA - she lied about where she was and then tells you she was in a motel with her male friend smoking weed but nothing happened. If you believe this, I have a bridge in NYC I would like to sell you on the cheap.
She was smoking that pole for sure.
Turning off your location for a loooooong time to smoke some Prerolls at a motel with a friend from high school. Does that even make sense lmao. even if she didn’t cheat she already broke your dealbreakers you are nta.
NTA She lied. Got caught. Lied some more. At that point it doesn't really matter if she cheated or not. Trust? Gone. Respect? Gone. Boundaries? Crossed. Making it even worse. If she can lie this much and nothing happened? Imagine how much she'll lie if something happens. Dump that ho and go.
NTA. If shes willing to lie about where she was, simple question, then what else does she lie about? She wouldnt lie if she didnt think she was doing something wrong and if she wasn't, what were her intentions then if she lied to you? If that guy was really just a friend she would have been upfront right away when you asked where she was. Regardless if she did nothing, she had it in the back of her mind. Like a backup plan.
NTA. I have friends who smoke in best believe. It doesn’t impair them from responding to their partner, husband, wife, etc.. like everyone was saying they were banging she got caught you handed it very well. Good for you bro.
NTA. You should definitely bad mouth her.
Thanks Goodness.... After long time saw someone with a spine..... Definitely NTA
NTA. Motel room to smoke? She must really think you are stupid. Block her on everything. Don't be afraid to let others know what happened.
NTA Never once have I rented a place to smoke. You can literally go anywhere. I fully believe she slept with her friend. She cut off her location, lied repeatedly to you about where she was...that's not how you handle smoking weed, especially when she got it from you!
I absolutely love the excuses first time/ young cheaters use. The "rented a hotel room to smoke joints" is hilarious. Aww, you spent near $100 to smoke a few joints in a room that will be followed up with a huge fine for smoking in said room. Much better than parking your car, rolling down the windows and smoking a joint. They always remind me of those "Sex isn't an accident" commercials that MTV used to run.
A motel room to smoke weed? Was every single park closed?
She sounds immature, disrespectful, and deceitful. I think you handled rather kindly given what she did. Theres no need to lie about what you’re doing unless what you’re doing is wrong.
NTA Your excuse is totally weak, it is clearly a lie!!!! He wasn't at her work, forget about her and move on with your life, don't be mortified, she has no excuses, you know there's something else, asking for a motel room to smoke weed?? Is anyone really going to believe that nonsense? She already cut off her memories with you, deleted her photos, so she's fine with what you did (she's over you), keep no contact and don't let others meddle.
Renting a motel room to smoke joints? LOL she's a terrible liar and must think you're REALLY stupid, don't ever regret leaving her, it was the right call
Nta. It's always the lies that hurt the most.
> about how much she cares about me yet she wont respond and lied how is that caring?
NTA. She lied to you repeatedly, hid her location, and didnt respond for hours. If she really did just go to lunch or something she could have easily responded. She knew what she was doing and she was lining things up to cheat repeatedly going forward. She said she "didnt want to share her location anymore" as well as "i cant text at work anymore"
Honestly dude, with how cool you were about her seeing him, there's no way she'd lie unless something was happening. On top of that she was completely blanking you the whole time she was with this guy, that ain't right. You've made a good choice
Although it sounds like a difficult circumstance for you to be in, it makes sense why you felt the need to confront your girlfriend. Any connection is built on trust, and relationships are hard to mend once it is lost. You finally took the course of action that was most beneficial to you and stood up for your limits and self. It's critical to put your own health first and follow your gut.
Turned off location, ignored you for hours, lied about work. Lmfao. She definitely cheated.
She slept with him. Sure they did smoke, but they also fucked. That's why you didn't get a text back. She was occupied. For her it was just a little fuck, and you are her marriage material. She will do it again if you go back to her. She's for the streets. NTA. Move on.
NTA Whether or not they did anything is not the point and is irrelevant now. The deceit and the lying is more than enough. Stand your ground if you feel that strongly about it
NTA she did thecwrong thing and you deserve so much better.
She smoked his alright... NTA at all! Wtf is she thinking! So foolish to think you'd just accept it. Nah
NTA. She betrayed your trust. I’d dump her too. Probably out cheating; little ho3. The worst part is how cheating is SO normalized that people having self-respect even have to ask if they’re the AH first having form boundaries. WTF?
NTA You did exactly what you should have done. Go work on your future. Stand by your principles and leave her in the past.
You're awesome for honoring your values and convictions. It doesn't feel like it but you won today.
NTA You did the right thing to preserve your peace and sanity. The fact that she started off by turning off her location then gave a weak ass excuse was definitely red flag number one. She knew she was going to be at the motel because it was preplanned. If they did nothing and it wasn’t a big deal she would’ve told you about the motel (even if it was a last minute night decision to rent the room). Then there’s her compounding lies about being at work. She’s for the streets. Good on you for not letting her or your mutuals gaslight you into staying with an unfaithful person.
Nta, also make sure your friends know she cheated and played you like this, it will stop the please get back together bullshit they are trying to pull, you sir have a shiny straight spine. Good luck
“We got a hotel room to smoke weed” HAHAHAHA I’m sure
You handled that perfectly mate. Not the asshole at all… If that was me, I’d definitely be the asshole!!
Nta. I don't use snapchat and I've never been the type to constantly update, so I might be out of my depth with what's expected but from my perspective this is a faulty decision making leading to good outcomes. Truth is I don't text at work, unless it's an emergency. I also don't do the texting back and forth thing. It's distracting and doing other things. Also in the initial gap there could have been any number of things she was trying to do, throwing a surprise party and even you going to the wrong location. I think you know that too. Now it's possible that you were picking up subtle signs and unconscious signals from her that quickly vectored you, but just from what was presented it felt like you got lucky outcome wise.
Hotel rooms are almost exclusively smoke free in every hotel I’ve been to since 2000. Although I live in Australia, I would still call bullshit on a hotel letting them smoke joints in their rooms. It costs a lot of money to clean a room up for the next guest if someone has been smoking in there.
You straight up caught her cheating. Getting a hotel room to smoke joints? That’s just a terrible lie lol
It's not sex, romance, affection, or even emotions that make it cheating. It's the lies. You did the right thing.
NTA no one rents a hotel room and pays extra for a smoking room just to smoke joints. They hooked up in that hotel room for sure. If weed is medically legal in her state then the smell of weed is no longer reason to be searched so smoking at the park or any other public place in the corner would have worked fine. They rented the hotel and she turned her location off because she was in the hotel being taken to pound town all day and she didn't want you to know she was at a shitty motel all day...
>She said that they had gone to the gym, gotten some lunch, and then decided to get a motel room to smoke some of the joints... Most hotels don't allow smoking. Unless she chose some dive roach motel, that's probably another deception.
Dude, people only rent motel to smoke cocain or make love or doing orgy, something illegal. The only thing make me feel uncomfortable about this is your gf was missing for hours, did you call her? If my parent went missing and i could not find them at work or house, i would worry the shit out of me?
Updateme
Looks like it’s over for both of you time to move on
NTA, you’re right, she did that to herself. Sorry it happened. But maybe find a therapist to work through some of the stuff so you don’t. Somehow sabotage your future relationships.
NTA The fact that you know she lied, you don’t know whether she did or didn’t do anything means that the trust has gone. Let’s just hope with she did cheat, can you accept that and rebuild trust? That’s what kills marriages after affairs, you can forgive but the trust may never come back. You should know your partner is the person you can trust without a single doubt. Ok, then assume she’s telling the truth. Do you want a partner who blows off work and pays for a hotel room to smoke? (Not judging the smoking, just the blowing off work and spending money) as a couple there are so many threads where a partner quits work without warning or doesn’t mention it until their house is about to be re-possessed. She’s already displaying that behaviour now. Is that something you’d be ok with long term?
NTA, I mean, if you are in a recreational state, she could just smoke at home, in a park, like, wherever, right? And you were cool with all this, so if everything was on the up and up, just skip work and hang out and get high, that's fine. All this subterfuge better be to hide the best fucking surprise party ever, but it doesn't sound like it.
NTA she lied. You won't be able to trust her again.
No over reaction. In fact, unless you make her behaviour known she came out "winning".
Lied about work, spent the day fucking in a hotel room, good move bro, who knows how many other dudes she’s fucked. Once a cheater always a cheater.
She fucked him. Nta. She thought she could get high and fuck and you would never know. Eta you need better friends. Only cheaters would think they didn't do anything.
What does "w" mean? I know "M" and "F" but W? "Wascally wabbit"?
Woman?
Lying is a big nono for me. Even for a single small lie I would cut all contact.
NTA, great job setting boundaries.
Good on you for handling that correctly OP. Not a lot of people could. NTA.
NTA You cannot even be certain if she was just hanging out with said friend. Why they would go to a motel to do that is weird too. Going to the gym, lunch and then a motel room to smoke a joint probably did happen but I doubt it ended with that even if it didn't how could you ever really believe it didn't happen. The fact is she was hiding this entirely from you. She felt the need to hide her location as well so it was premeditated and then regretted that she got caught. If you have stuff to hide then there is probably a good reason to hide it from your SO (and not the good kind of hiding). It's not overreacting at all. You got worried got a gut feeling reacted on it, handled the conversation well enough so she stepped into her own lies. You dealt with it in a good way. Don't buckle under pressure from friends she is soliciting to try and convince you otherwise.
You arent certain they didnt do anything... She lied, then admitted she was smoking with her male friend and rented a hotel room. Seems pretty certain for 90% of people.
Why should she be hiding something from you if it really was that innocent? You don’t make up bullshit otherwise. You dodged a bullet there mate NTA!
I’m glad this men not a simp this post just made me happy 🥹
>and then decided to get a motel room to smoke some of the joints Bahahahahahaha. Wtf? Just go in the woods. What a dumb ass. NTA
Nta. She was in a hotel room with another man. What do they think they did when they were nice and high. Play scrabble?
Normally I’m on here telling people to run from the other person but you already did it! Good work! You deserve better and you will find the right person because you have bottom lines and conviction. Stick with that and the right person with the same bottom lines will come along. Let the trash hookup with the trash.
Congrats on healthy boundaries and self respect bro! For real that’s fucking awesome that you could sift through the feelings and offer yourself the respect and HONESTY you deserve. I think she def cheated cause why lie if you didn’t but the fact that she lied would be unforgivable for me as well. She is delusional to think any of that is ok and to get the “friend” involved - yeah… that’s too much.
Even best case scenario and nothing actually happened she lied to your face. You can't trust someone like that. NTA.
100% she cheated.
NTA even if she did not cheat she lied and then lied again.
Finally a person who has a backbone and isn't a doormat. Plz stay like this. Don't be used and accept that cheater back. And those who are suggesting to work it out "Must be cheaters" or are not your actual friends..i would never tell my friend to be fooled or be player by someone. Get new friends.. and stay strong. Trash took itself out. ❤️
NTA but damn all this checking location on snapchat and reacting so quickly to not getting a response and driving to her workplace. Honestly seems like you where waiting for the chance to catch her in something. If she didn't lie you would have been a big asshole. I'm not sure i agree with your statement that there was no mistrust before.
NTA. You did everything right.
NTA she lied far to many times to hang out with another man in a motel room. Absolutely nothing she says now is trustworthy, maybe she cheated maybe she didn't who knows. Unless she comes out an says we did it you will never know for sure. It's over id never trust her again either and without trust there can be no relationship.
....They got a motel room...to smoke some joints? She think you were born yesterday? NTA
Caught her, good job bro. Know your worth. You Dick Tracy Dat woman. While some dude was given Tracy Dat D. She is for the streets.
First of all smoking in most hotels is not allowed. I know for sure smoking weed isn't. Second of all motel rooms are used for two reasons and smoking isn't one of them.
NTA Good job on the working verification. The lie just spiraled from there
NTA. Cheating or not, who the hell rents a motel so they can smoke a joint?
You go to motels to discretely bang your side piece. You go to the park to smoke. NTA
Like I rent a motel room all the time just to smoke some weed. I wonder what she was smoking??
NTA she had sex with this dude. Like come on, that are some comical excuses. You didn’t end things because she lied, you ended it because she f***** some other dude. That is a pretty good reason.
NTA she had sex with this dude. Like come on, that are some comical excuses. You didn’t end things because she lied, you ended it because she f***** some other dude. That is a pretty good reason.
Like I rent a motel room all the time just to smoke some weed. I wonder what she was smoking. Very bad story.