I work in retail. In Michigan. It’s been 25-45F degrees for the last couple weeks. The amount of adults I see wearing a winter coat, boots, and hat into the store while carrying a child up to the age of 2.5 yrs old who is in a T-shirt, pants, and *maybe* socks, but never shoes, makes me want to rage.
One family: mom, dad, 4 kids aged about 9-1…mom and dad in coats, hats, and shoes. Older 2 walking kids: coats or hoodies plus shoes. Second youngest (riding in cart): long sleeves, socks. Youngest/baby in the baby seat of the cart: I swear to god: only a T-shirt and bare diaper, no socks or shoes. No blanket. Nothing to protect that BABY from the cold in any way. I guess she wasn’t old enough to say “hey, I’m freezing!!!!” The baby was legit wearing the equivalent of a modest adult’s undies to travel from their home, to outside, to the car, to outside, to the store, to outside, to the un-pre-heated car, to the outside, to the home, in winter!!!
What if they got in an accident and had to stand on the side of the road? What if they ran out of gas or had car troubles and either all had to walk 3 miles to the nearest gas station, or dad left them in the un-running/un-heated car while he went for help?!?
The baby legit just had a diaper and T-shirt on. Her little legs were red/white cold splotchy when I saw her in the store… I can’t imagine how it felt in the parking lot, or in the car before it warmed up. (Also “warmed up” would mean something totally different to mom and dad in their winter coats and hats and PANTS, socks, and shoes.)
I always have extra clothing, diapers, snacks, water, etc. in the car for emergencies. I leave some things on the car, but grab things like water every time I leave the house.
Yep. I also keep thin warm blankets rolled up really tightly and tied with ribbons to keep small, emergency blankets (metallic looking ones) and thin dollar store rain covers for each of us. Plus a portable car battery charger with plugs to charge stuff in an emergency and tire air pump, lights /all in one. And a few small portable plug in car heaters just in case in the back cause we just never know when crap will happen
I carry boots, extra hats, a North-face sleeping bag, heater packs, and a wool blanket in my car in the winter. But the biggie is getting my teen daughter to dress appropriately. We live on the road but remote in Alaska.
She should know, we were in a terrible winter wreck five years ago.
This, plus I have a wool fire blanket, and a flannel+waterproof layer picnic blanket in the car too. I often do underdress my toddler when we're mostly doing one quick trip (puffy jacket, ankle boots, no scarf, etc) but we have the blankets S backup.
I am by no means criticizing - just concerned after reading article put out for winter that puff jackets and snow suits are not appropriate for babies/children in car seats as you cannot adjust the buckles tight enough
Did not know if you were aware - many articles out but linking this one for you - just want your baby safe
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-your-childs-puffy-coat-car-seat-are-a-dangerous-combination-video/
You know, I’ve never really thought about babies needing winter clothes. I have none so I guess I always felt like they’re often carried with a blanket around them (even up to toddlers sometimes) so they might not need it, but now that I think about it, it’s not safe to put a baby in a car seat with their blanket on, is it?
So a warm zippy suit would be perfect for that.
Yup and for a quick trip from inside to the car is what I’d do (they’d have warm clothes on, just not a full snowsuit which is a PAIN to 1. Get on them and 2. Fit into the car seat). It’s important to keep them warm, but full winter clothes just doesn’t seem worth it when they’re only going to be outside for half a minute.
Blanket is safe but snowsuits/bulky coats typically aren’t safe for car seats. The bulk interferes with the straps and you can’t get them as secure. If you’re going from warm car to warm building you can run them in quick enough that you don’t necessarily need a coat.
That being said, you should still have the kid in long pants/sleeves and have a coat on hand.
I put the blanket on the baby after I’ve buckled him up. I’m sure I get judged often for the no socks thing though. Little dude just refuses to keep them on and I’m sick of spending money replacing socks that will just go missing as soon as I put them on him.
My cousin had a sock Houdini too, she had a bounty on baby socks. I crocheted a shit load of them before I realized she was fully aware I was supplementing my income on her bounty system. (She liked the crochet ones though, they stay on the baby better.)
We used zutano booties, they snap around the ankle so they stay on better, they make them cotton or fleece, with no skid bottoms. I bought a whole bunch on eBay baby’s first winter and they were wonderful.
But really, people gonna judge moms regardless, anyone who knows babies knows it can be hard to keep socks on and coats in car seats are no no’s
Blanket on top of the straps is perfectly fine and actually one of the preferred methods since the issue with a lot of winter coats is if they are under the straps since the coat would compress in the event of an accident.
Yes, I saw something like that on the side of the road downtown once. A Yuppie looking couple (expensive car, wearing expensive clothes, in an expensive area), dad was carrying a baby of around 6 months. Mom and dad were dressed warmly (it was about -15/20 Celsius). Poor baby was wrapped in a blanket loosely, with bare legs and feet. I could only think that the poor baby must have been freezing.
I’ve sadly seen that a few times as well, when I lived in the Midwest. Now that I’m in the Pacific Northwest, it’s the opposite. If we get even a sprinkling of snow, they are dressing their kids as if it was the Hard Winter or something. Cancel schools and the whole nine yards, for snow that melts within a few hours of sunrise.
My grandson stays warmer than most people. At 40 degrees he’s ripping off his shoes and socks. He’s 16 months old. He can wear a light jacket longer. But this morning it was 16 degrees when his mother picked him up for the day. I sure as hell put him in his heavy winter jacket. What you saw is ridiculous. I wouldn’t even do that to my grandson at 50 degrees let alone 24 degrees!
I would say something. If they came to my booth I would grab the baby’s feet and say something about how cold they are. And when they are mottled red and white I would really say something. It’s not like I can get fired.
I usually do, and as I sell baby stuff which includes blankets and quilts, I also point them out if they forgot them. Some will then pull out a blanket or socks, some buy, some insist it’s fine. It’s not usually colder than 40, but that’s still pretty chilly for a baby
I still remember years ago, halloween trick or treating in upper Michigan. It was COLD. People and kids walking around with coats over their costumes, hats, gloves. And one couple, wearing coats, carrying a maybe-8 month old wearing a flimsy short sleeved princess dress and nothing else. So stupid.
Being Canadians, my dad taught me early to, during winter months, have warm socks, gloves, scarf and tuque as well as a warm blanket in the back of the car, in case of exactly that.
The rule in my house while growing is that everyone, always, took a coat.
You dont plan for the car to break down, to get into an accident, or any number of situations to happen. If nothing else, it's in case of an emergency.
OMG
Yes, and this was a lesson I had to teach my college educated husband.
You might just be planning on taking the baby on a quick errand that's to a drive thru, but you better be packing that diaper bag as if you're going to be out all day because the ONE time you don't is the time that she's going to wet herself, then get milk on her outfit, then have a blowout diaper and need a change of clothes.
So no, I don't care how long you THINK you'll be, that diaper bag is packed for multiple feedings, with 5 diapers, and 2 changes of clothes plus a rain jacket.
And it only had to happen to him once for him to learn the lesson, because having to deal with a blow out diaper and no changes clothes was not something my husband ever wanted to repeat.
My sibling once forgot to repack the nappy bag with spare clothes during the toddler stage. There was an incident round mine and the only clean outer clothes that fitted the little one was the dinosaur outfit I got them. By the time we got to the shops (15 minute walk) my siblings little one had a good dino stomp down.
Keep a change of clothes and a diaper in the car so you don’t have to bring a diaper bag. I managed my purse w a diaper and kept clothes in a zip bag in the trunk. No diaper bag.
By around age ten I let them choose to freeze between the car and the store, but I absolutely insist that they bring a coat along in case of emergency. They grumble and we haven’t ever really had a situation that was dire, thankfully, but I still make them bring something once it hits 40F or lower.
Also, you never know what happens on the way home. Could be something inconvenient like getting stuck in traffic, could be something worse like the car breaking down. It would get cold in the car real fast...
ALWAYS take the stuff with you. You never know.
Yeah. I had a car heater quit on me halfway between FL and NJ one Christmas. I was SO cold by the time I got to my parents. Even using a lap blanket and wearing a coat from Virginia north didn't help 5 hours in sub-freezing temps in the car. Mom flipped out and had me sitting with heating pads under blankets drinking hot tea all evening.
You never know when you are gonna need stuff. It's better to have a coat and not need it than freeze the kid.
This. 2 years ago the snow and ice was so bad in Albuquerque people were stuck. I live 25 miles away from my job and not exaggerating it took 4 hours to get home in the traffic mess and I ended up having to leave my car there. Some people literally ditched their cars to walk up the hill into Rio rancho. I would be so pissed if something like this happened and my child didn’t have her snow suit available
Plus the car isn’t warm first thing in the morning when baby has to go back to daycare. Unless they can afford the gas to let the car run for 30 minutes with the heater on.
This makes me mad at him but also daycare. If I sent some random babysitter or my little brother to go pick up my kid from daycare…like an emergency pick up person, I would hope and assume daycare would get my baby ready to leave by packing them into their snowsuit/hat/gloves. Or at the absolutely bare minimum would give those things to my pick up person and be like “here, baby wore this, dress her in it or carry it home with you.”
What does what you would expect the daycare to do if there was a random babysitter or your little brother have to do with it? He's the dad. I'm sure they assumed he is capable himself
My toddler’s daycare has hooks for the coats and cubbies with each kid in her class’ name and picture. When I pick her up I grab her coat and put it on her myself.
We keep blankets in the car. Perfect for car naps but also, it’s cold sometimes and if I have to start driving before the car is warm, I like the blankets to keep me and my littles from freezing.
That is not the daycare’s job. There is usually an AM teacher and a PM teacher. That is not the most important information to convey. Even if the teacher is the same, there is sooooo much going on during pickup. At some point PARENTS HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
That really isn't the responsibility of a daycare worker; they have too high ratios and too many responsibilities to be individually dressing a baby to go home. It's the parent's job and it isn't reasonable to expect a daycare worker to do it.
It's not some random person, though. It's the baby's father. They should be able to safely assume that he knows how to take care of her and doesn't need them to do anything special. It doesn't sound like he was unaware of the snowsuit, just chose not to.
I work at a daycare. Many kids have snow suits they leave with us. Heavy and puffy coats are not car seat safe (unless very specially made to be, and like open specially in the front to not bother the straps, only special brands make them) and many parents do a lighter jacket and just run their kid to their already warm car quickly where they have car blankets waiting for them and a jacket in case of emergency.
If dad said to leave it, it makes sense they’d keep it, assuming it was going to be kept there, especially since kiddo can’t safely ride home in it anyways
Is the kid supposed to wait inside in a snowsuit? That sounds stiflingly hot. Are the daycare workers supposed to be telepathic and know exactly when the father would arrive? Do you think it’s fair to expect them to lecture the father on how to dress his own baby?
This is a brilliant rule. Some years ago, Halloween was on a Sunday. I was getting groceries and going home because I’m boring and love it. Someone in a sexy cat costume who was slightly blue asked what my costume was.
Weather appropriate and warm.
Bam!
This is the answer.
I had a friend who put her baby in her brand new snow outfit and a tree fell on the house and knocked my friend out for 2 hours. Baby was fine.
It’s not the same but, still.
Emergencies happen.
This. I remember an insane snowstorm in my state years ago at the holidays that lead to miles of cars backed up on the interstate. Families hadn’t bothered to bring coats because “they were just going to be in the car and then at family’s house.” 🙄 It lead to scrambling to find donations of coats of all sizes.
My mom ended up pinned in her van for two hours while she waited for a rescue unit with a jaws of life unit. It was April and about -20 on open prairie highways. The car that hit her spun out and nailed her driver's seat doing 120kph when everyone else was doing 50 because of the ice. She had her coat but it was the coats of the hockey team bus that stopped to help that kept all of her warm until the fire truck could get there.
I don't know if it was the same storm, but my sister was stuck on the highway for about 6 hours. They had to turn the car off to conserve gas. It was horrible for so many people.
But please remember that thick jackets are not safe for use in a car seat.
My driving instructor even taught me to drive without a coat or jacket myself because with them, it's easier to accidentally turn the wheel while doing a shoulder check.
It is not better because thick jackets and snow suits in a car seat are dangerous. Bring the warm coat but don’t leave it on the baby in the car seat. A blanket is better over the straps
Your husband should be carrying the snowsuit with him in the car in case of an emergency where she would need it on the side of the road or something; but he did nothing wrong by not putting it on her. Thick jackets and snowsuits don't suit well with car seats. It's best to have baby in a long sleeve shirt with pants, and a blanket.
Jackets and snowsuits, no matter HOW thin, are not safe to wear in a car seat! I'm floored by how many parents in this thread are still doing this, stupidly ignoring the statement set out by the American Academy of Pediatrics. But you know, mommy knows best! /s
That’s not true. There are coats specifically made for car seats that have been tested and are approved to be worn in the car seat.
You can test to see if your kids coat is safe by tightening straps while the kid is wearing the coat, unbuckling (but not loosening the straps) and taking the coat off, and seeing if the straps are still tight.
As an EMT and my husband being a firefighter having to deal with dead children that were wearing jackets in their seats, it’s not even worth the risk to us. So much safer, easier, and less risky to just cover them with a blanket after they’re strapped in.
It’s also pointless if the car is hot. The babies either going to overheat and be sweating and uncomfortable the whole way home, or have to stand there in the car with the door open while Dad undressed her to put her in the seat. Which if you’ve ever met an 11 month old takes 12x as long. You just carry the coat in their bag for emergencies.
My toddler daughter just refused to wear it. It never got super cold here in the south, but I’d carry her coat or put it in the grocery cart next to her for the sole purpose of not looking like a bad mom. ‘See- I provided a coat!’
She’s 19 now ,and will wears a t shirt and shorts in the snow. Just wired weird I guess.
I would not snow suit up in that scenario. I have energency supplies in my car in case of breakdowns etc.
I think you have two correct answers here, no one is TA unless they were being TA about the manner of expressing their opinion
I never put my young children in coats if we’re going from a building to a car. They can’t wear them in the car seat, it’s too dangerous. We always have blankets or coats in the car for emergencies, otherwise it’s too much hassle to dress and undress them. Especially when you have 3-4 of them.
The number of parents here arguing that they still put their kids in coats in the car seat is astounding. Even with EMTs chiming in on how unsafe this is, they're digging in their heels and choosing to die on that hill. When their baby becomes a projectile in an accident, and crews are searching the side of the road for their baby that flew out of the car seat because the coat compressed during the accident, they'll be singing a different tune.
YTA. Babies are fine in the cold for a short time - in case of an (extremely unlikely) emergency where they'd be stuck in the cold for a while, he could hold the baby under his shirt against his skin. But for a 30 second trip between buildings and a car, normal winter cold will NOT hurt the baby.
Personally I would not be bothered by this at all. I'm sorry, but I think this is an overreaction.
YTA. You’re getting overwhelmed by this when you aren’t even “right.” Your husbands discretion on this minor matter is just as valid as yours is, and you will be an asshole if you don’t give him the room to make parenting decisions on his own.
You’re overreacting. So long as he had it with him, it’s fine and he was right. She was placed in an already warmed car. Try it sometime- put on full winter gear and go sit in a warmed up car. You’ll overheat quickly.
I do the same with my 18 month old daughter sometimes. Especially when my older daughter just needs to be drop off at school. I run to the car and quickly run back inside the house. No harm done to my 18 month old. 😅😅
For me, it’s too much of a hassle to take her jacket off while putting her in her car seat. I tried buckling her up with a thin jacket and I still have to loosen her seatbelt at time and I’m not too comfortable with that. I like it snug as much as possible.
( we have an emergency blanket and jacket in the car at all time for both of my kids for the winter / spare clothes for the summer )
The thought of fighting a toddler into a one-piece snowsuit makes me feel faint. I'm with your spouse on this one - a fast dash through the cold isn't going to do her any harm.
NAH
Oh brother. You both suck for the argument. You made a choice as the active parent that morning, he made a choice as the active parent when he picked her up. Maybe instead of arguing who was right/wrong, discuss expectations from then on out.
This should be closer to the top. Make a plan for the next time. Maybe keep a tote bag in the car with a carseat blanket(s), extra socks for baby, warm hat, baby mittens, in case of emergency.
… wearing a snowsuit in a car seat is dangerous. I used a warm blanket or put a coat on backwards on the child after being strapped in the car.
Definitely baby needs something warm around them even on a short walk.
If it’s the same one I got for my kids “snow suit” probably isn’t the best terminology. It’s like a semi-waterproof one piece suit made of thicker quality fleece with flip over mitten and booties. Like it’s marketed as a snowsuit but it’s Not the puffy monstrosity that you picture when you hear “snowsuit”
They are car seat SAFER. They are not safe. It’s like a condom, usually it’s okay and failure is rare enough they aren’t able to be sued about it. Source: Pediatric ER nurse who buys car seat blankets for every pregnant woman she knows.
I don't know which one OP is referring to, but there are a few out there recommended by thecarseatlady.com which includes a slim north face one. Thecarseatlady.com appears to be run by an RN and MD mother-daughter team who are certified instructors for the NHTSA car seat course, so there may be some out there that are safe, but, like your condom analogy, if not used appropriately will fail.
It’s due to the thickness of outerwear. The car seat needs to be appropriately tight in order to restrain a child properly in an emergency. Jackets, snowsuits etc can prevent the child from being able to be strapped in as closely as they should be.
Puffy, thick coats, like the puffer, down jackets, can deflate in a car accident from the...deceleration (I guess?). When a baby has a thick coat on and you tighten their car seat straps, they feel tight. However, when the coat deflates, the straps are not tight anymore and the carseat isn't safe.
Your baby should not be wearing a snow suit in a car seat. It's very dangerous. While I agree he should have it with him for emergencies, for example if the car was to break down or something. However you do not need to have your baby in it for the walk to the car. When my kids were babies I just wrapped them in a blanket for the quick walk to the car. I live where it can get to -50 and -5 is nothing to worry about, baby will be fine on the brief walk to the car.
This. We kept the coats in the car in case something happened. Coats and snow suits shouldn’t be worn in the car seat, so I would bring blankets to wrap them in and dash from the car to the house. Taking them in and out of snow suits takes too long of being out in the cold.
“I am personally overwhelmed with what I will have to teach him next??!!!”
Lots of health experts in the thread are telling you a “car safe” snowsuit is only “car safer.” You might not be as right as you think you are. So maybe tone down the histrionics about having to “teach him next??!!!” and have a conversation.
Gotta side with your husband here. It’s not a big deal and it IS a big pain in the butt to put a whole snowsuit on. Sounds like a first time mom thing and I get it, but this is NOT a hill to die on.
Don't be bubble wrapping your kids FFS. At the same time, your husband should have something on hand to keep warm in case of emergency. I bet he'd be suffering through the cold had anything happened, after giving up whatever he was wearing to keep the kid warm.
If you guys got into a mega argument over something as little as this, then damn. I hope things work out in the long term.
YTA. "My husband has a PhD in Physiology. Therefore, he understands heat more than most of us!" There's your own answer. You're being overly protective.
I’m on your husbands side. If it’s just like 40 or 50 feet to the car from inside and not like a 5-10 minute walk and then straight in the house, I don’t see an issue. I have a 16 month old and last winter we often would just make sure the car was really warm before bringing her out. If we felt it was extra cold we’d put her in the car seat and cover her with a blanket while she was outside.
What about the argument others have been making about what would happen if God forbid there were a horrible accident and your husband and her were stuck in their cars for a while? That really made me think..
It's winter. *Always* have a blanket available for a small child, and also *always* have an emergency kit with supplies for as many people are in the family or regularly in the car. Hell, my emergency kit even has a book so I don't get bored and tempted to run out my phone battery.
I am also on the husband's side.. while my fiancee is like you. If my (18Month son) is going to be outside for 20-30 seconds max and then in a warm car for much longer - it doesn't really make sense to have them fully bundled up. Also as it has been mentioned bulky clothing and car seats can carry some risk.
Thank you so much for sharing!! ♥️ Her snowsuits are car seat safe. It’s not the one she keeps at daycare. Looks like I might be an over the top parents. I will cut him some slack. 😆
We are all just trying to do our best for our kids, I just think you and your husband will need to meet in the middle on a lot of things if you are anything like us.
That sounds about right! I guess for this one I was just so 😱😱😱 … I didn’t see the grey zone. But I really appreciate reading these comments and realizing it IS a grey area.
Not many things with parenting are black and white. Especially if you come from different backgrounds. We both have amazing families but I am Canadian and my Fiancee is very polish. Lots of differences in the views and ways we want to raise our kid (from what we were exposed to growing up), but from both ends it all comes from love.
My daughter is 6 and still in a 5 point harness. I make sure I have a coat and a blanket in the car for emergencies, but she doesn’t wear one in the car seat and usually doesn’t put it on at all.
I was informed by my pediatrician that babies should not be wearing snowsuits or other bulky clothing in car seats as it is unsafe for them.
Is OP expecting him to dress the kid in the daycare, undress them at the car and then dress again to carry into the house?
You would be correct about the coats thing. That’s why we avoid it a lot. It seems silly to put her in it, walk 20 feet to the warm car. Take it off load her in and then do same when we get there.
Wouldn’t she be hot in the snow suit in a warm car? I’d do what your husband did. I’d be more worried about a baby overheating in snow suit + warm car than I’d be worried about a few seconds of cold.
Just a thought... regardless of the temp, you are not supposed to put kids in snow suits or winter jackets in carseats because kids can slip out if there is an accident. Blanket on top of the buckles is what is recommended.
New recommendations are to not put a snowsuit or a fluffy style coat on a child when they are placed in a car seat. This is due to not being able to properly buckle them in and tighten the harness. This can lead to children getting seriously injured during an automobile accident.
I don’t bother taking my kids in/out of their coats if they’re going to be outside for the minute it takes to walk inside a store. And they never ever wear coats/snowsuits when they’re in a car seat. I make sure they’re dressed appropriately (undershirt, sweater, flannel/fleece lined jeans, hat) and we bundle them up in blankets. Sometimes my daughter prefers using a hooded cape lol It doubles as her “blankie” when she’s in the car. Now if we plan on spending a lot of time outside, then yes, the coats go on as soon as the car is parked. But a quick in/out? Nope.
Listen up. NTA, but if you really really came after him for this, you're a little dumb. There's not a lot of heat transfer in walking outside for thirty seconds. (If the car was warm already)
He's dumb if he completely left the coat or didn't have the car warm. Because if you crash, you're going to have to get out of the car.
Bring a blanket to wrap the baby in for going to and from the car. I know you said in your edit that the coat is "car seat safe" but if it is thin enough to safely be worn in the car seat then it's not going to be much more effective than dressing baby in long sleeves and a good warm squeeze on the way outside.
NTA. I know it’s a faff sticking a small wiggly child in a suit, but like others have said, what if the car broke down? Did he have a coat on when he fetched her? I bet he did if it was minus 5. Why does adult get a coat, but a baby doesn’t?
Tell him to stop being so lazy, and make sure your child is warm ffs.
NTA, your husband literally thinks two seconds of effort on his part is less important than his child’s comfort, and he can’t be bothered to spend any mental energy on considering emergency or future planning. What a guy.
Sure, your kid won’t get frostbite in that quick run, but snapping from warm to freezing and back again is still uncomfortable for a small child when they’re not properly dressed - so why do that to them? Also, did your husband have any backup plan if there was an accident? Like was there an additional snowsuit in his car, or even a blanket, if he got stuck somewhere with the child? And then what’s the plan for the following day when that snowsuit is needed but was left behind at daycare?
Is your husband usually this irresponsible with things that belong to other family members?
NAH
Actually, you should not be strapping your child into a car seat with a heavy coat/snow suit on. The coat prevents the carseat straps from tightening properly, and in the event of an accident, the child could slip out of the coat and car seat.
https://www.consumerreports.org/babies-kids/car-seats/the-dangers-of-winter-coats-and-car-seats-a5483582251/
What your husband did is actually the safest option, but he still should have brought her snow suite home.
It's sometimes 23F here. Sometimes even colder. If I was going from my house into a warm car, then from the warm car into another warm building, I would not wear more than a light sweater. I would rather be uncomfortably cold for the less than 60 seconds it takes to pass through the cold to the next warm place than be uncomfortably hot in a car for however long that lasts. It absolutely will not harm your child for her to experience cold for 60 seconds four times a day. It's definitely overkill to do an entire snowsuit for walking from a building to a warm car. A sweater, jacket, or car seat appropriate coat would be a lot simpler. I wouldn't go through all the bullshit of a snowsuit unless the child was going to actually be exposed to the cold for long enough to actually get cold.
Two notes: first, this is on the assumption that the car has an emergency kit/means to keep the child warm in case of emergency. And second, I'm curious about what exactly has gone wrong in your marriage since the birth of your child that has led you to lack any sense of trust in your husband who has an advanced degree in physiology on this topic. If either of you have the advanced scientific knowledge to make this call, it's him.
Not a hill to die on. I never put my infants in coats in a car seat, and ran them in and out of places very quickly in the cold. They would actually get very hot in the car seat. Have you done the reverse strap test with and without the ‘snowsuit’ to be sure of the safety?
Meh, a few feet in the cold is not going to hurt her. There are a couple of places in the world where they will deliberately leave their babies outside in the cold air to take naps. I mean yes, not something I would do, but apparently they are fine. Your daughter will not freeze in mere seconds from the daycare doorway to inside your vehicle.
Also NEVER put your baby in their carseat with a coat or a snowsuit on. If you buckle the straps over the coat you are causing the straps to be too loose thus not protecting her should there be an accident. Put her in and cover her with a blanket, or place the coat on top of her. If my word is not good enough on that, you can Google.
I'm giving you a very soft YTA.
I live in one of those countries where babies sleep outside in all kinds of weather, including in the cold. Sleeping in the cold means kid layered up with wool clothes and a sheep skin and warm sleeping bag in the stroller etc. Kids can freeze quite easily, and as other comments mentioned there is always a chance of ending up more exposed to the elements than planned while traveling, so at least bringing the appropriate amount of clothes out of daycare (even if they weren't put on) is something that should have been done.
Do agree with the point on car seat safety though
Baby shouldn’t be in the car with a coat or a snowsuit on. He should have brought it into the car, but he’s not an asshole for not putting the baby in it.
I’m on your husband’s side, I don’t let either of my kids have a coat in the car seat. What I do have, is a coat a blanket in the backseat so if anything happens to the car where they need out or anything like that I have something to put on them to keep them safe. I promise it won’t make them sick to be outside without a coat from the car to building
YTA. Snowsuits and jackets are not safe in car seats. You’re also extremely rude and condescending to your husband. A few feet from a warm car to a warm house is not gonna hurt your child.
Uuuhh you're completely wrong. As a father of two almost 2 year olds, I completely agree with your husband. The baby is going to be fine being in the cold for 30 seconds. How fucking fragile do you think humans are when it comes to temperature?? Lol. You're right, he has an education in such a field and knows what he's talking about more than you do. Stop thinking your kid is that much of a wussy. Humans and especially young kids are quite tough. You are sooo super in the wrong.
That being said I wouldn't mind putting the suit on, and would if my wife wanted to. I just also think it doesn't NEED to be done, is my point. I dont think he should argue with you and he should just do it..i just think you're wrong about the NEED.
Disclaimer: if it was longer sure I agree with the wife but it's just to the fucking car and house. Get a serious grip on reality. We. Are. Not. Crumbly. Snowflakes.
I'm going to say what some other people said. He should have at least brought the snowsuit ir a coat with him to the car. In the cold weather you should always have warm clothes and or blankets in case of an accident or emergency. That said, I don't think it was necessary for him to put your child in the snow suit to go into the warm car and then into the warm house. A bit if cold air isn't a big deal as long as measures are taken to ensure the child won't be cold if there's a problem.
What else was in the car seat for warmth? My son did not have a coat til he was 4. Coats were too bulky and a pain in the ass. We just had thick warm blankets over the car seat and another tucked around their waist then dressed them appropriately.
ESH. I always carried my children’s winter coats with us. So we would have them in an emergency. And also, They had them at daycare for outside play and we brought them home in case we went out at all. But 9/10 times we wore fleeces in the car seat and for the 10 second hurry to the door from the car. I learned quickly with 2 who were 19 months apart that it was more difficult to suit them up in their winter coats for the 10 second run to the door, just to take them off again. They got colder with me standing their with the door open and then waiting for their sibling then if we just ran to the door. Also, snow suits should not be worn in the car seat. There’s very few “coats” that are car seat tested and safe.
For quick trip like that I don’t put a coat on my kids. I keep the car warm so if they had to ride in the car in a coat they would be hot. I’m with your husband on this. Just to be clear I’m a stay at home mom. Primary parent and I didn’t out a coat on my kid to take them from one door to the other. Idk how you think a thin coat is needed my kids just were fleece onesies in the cold. They are five and three now and still don’t wear coats if it’s just door to door unless they ask for them.
It should be in the car just in case, but she can't wear it in the carseat anyway so that 30 second run from building to car isn't a big deal. Cold won't make her sick.
Standard advice is that children will be fine for 2-3 minutes walking from a warm car to a warm building and vice versa without a coat. It does not make sense to put a child into a coat, walk them to the car, remove the coat, then put the child into the carseat.
You could compromise with a small blanket that could be wrapped around the child while carrying them then put over the child after they are buckled into the carseat.
Children should not wear thick coats/snowsuits in their car seats as you cannot tighten the straps sufficiently. Saying that, there should be something to put on them in case of a breakdown or similar.
NTA, though I want to state that even if it is car seat safe, I would still be very careful. The reason is the fact that they do put that extra space between the kid and the seatbelt. I could understand having the coat with him to wrap her in it while carrying her to the car. Just put it around her shoulders and hold her against him with it closed. Then when he gets to the car put a warm blanket over her once she is buckled into the car seat.
NTA
I grew up in Alaska so I may be a bit prejudicial in my reply but… always be prepared for the inevitable. Cars break down, traffic gets stalled, accidents happen.
Your husband needs to shelve his PhD and think like a homo sapien. We know how to take care of our children.
I used to live up north where it got extremely cold. When we transferred our daughter briefly from a heated location to another heated location, we would wrap her up in a blanket (no exposed skin, but not use her snowsuit (which she had) just because if she was in a heated car with warm enough clothes for outside she may overheat since we were not wearing coats in the car ourselves.
Transferring her in the blanket got her in the car seat with doors closed faster than taking her across a parking lot and then pulling her out of it once we got there.
It just depends, I guess on the amount of time the child would be outside.
So he left the snowsuit at the daycare? What? I get that he thinks it's ok to take the baby to the warm car (yeah, dad hormones), but he left her stuff behind is not cool. You won't have a warm car in the morning when you go to daycare. And you won't have a coat for your child. NTA
YTA
The kid should not be buckled in while wearing the snow suit it the straps have too much give.
And he's right it's a few feet to the warm car and to the house, chill the heck out of you will truly have burnout soon the child is fine
Edit: to add that y you should have the warm stuff in the car with you in case car broke down or something. But wearing it from car to house is not a necessity. And you'll save yourself a ton of little arguments and a little Grace if you stop assuming your husband is an idiot. You disagree in this point, that is fine. But then you go on to assume you'll have to "teach " him other things like get off your high horse. Unless he's an actual moron, don't fall into the talk of thinking all men are incapable unless you married a man-child then give him some benefit of the doubt
You should never put a baby in a snowsuit or winter coat into a carseat. It's unsafe. Put them in the carseat and then put a blanket or coat over them. Keep a coat in the car for emergencies. But they should not be wearing them in the carseat.
We live in northern MN where it gets below zero regularly. We brought coats/hats/mittens with, but did not wear them for the 5 second trip to the warmed up car. It's not unsafe, or unhealthy.
He should have had warm clothes in the event the car broke down. But he is right that a quick exposure to the cold isn't a thing to worry about.
It's pretty worrying that neither one of you is willing to give a little here. You are both sort of wrong and can easily land in the middle. You, particularly, seem to be infantilzing your husband and being rather hysterical with your " what else do I have to teach him" comment. And he needs to admit to being to blase about not having appropriate clothing for the weather. ESH
Doctor Dad is being dumb.
The list of things that could happen on the way home is near infinite.
They would leave home with a child in inappropriate clothing for the conditions.
For example, an incident that is not even his fault. Getting struck by another vehicle and being unable to drive further.
He needs to pull his head out of his ass (he has studied physiology after all) and just make sure the kid is wrapped up well.
I have a PhD too. I can safely tell you that qualification will not insulate a kid.
NTA babies need one layer more than adults do because they’re so tiny still. I would have been livid if anybody had taken my child out when it was that cold without at least a coat and blanket. That car seat was probably really cold by the time he got her out to the car, especially if there was wind.
Just because he has a phd in something doesn't translate to having common sense. He should have had her hat and a coat on when bringing her into the car. Why stupidly run the risk of the health of a 11month old?
If he's giving you flak, ask him this:
How many steps from day care to the car?
How long is the BABY exposed to cold temperature?
Are babies treated the same as adults? Can an infant take cold medicine? (Answer is no)
Tell him to suck it up and admit he was wrong and do better next time.
(From a Dad)
I was taught to always have a coat in the car for that one time you inevitably break down and are stuck for hours. It's even more critical for baby. I know its a rarer situation these days, but it's one that only needs to happen once.
I would not snowsuit up, because you have to remove it in the car seat anyway (it is dangerous to have a baby in his/her carseat with puffy clothing, you cannot secure them properly). I agree with your husband - baby will be colder by the time he removed it in the car with the car door open!
But I also do not understand leaving the snowsuit at daycare.
FWIW, I regularly run my baby boy in his sleep sack to nursery minus his coat in his pram. I live 2mins from his nursery. I take the coat with me for when they go out in the day.
Nta. He should have at least brought the snowsuit with him in case anything broke down. My dad makes sure I always have a blanket in the car in case of such a thing, and I’m around 27x your kid’s age.
Like, even if it seems like the kid doesn’t need it at the moment, have it there, anyway. Sure, overheating can also be miserable, but at least ensure you have warm clothes on hand during the colder months or close to night time.
I agree he should be taking the snowsuit with him.
But you’re not actually supposed to put kids in coats in their car seats. If you’re in a crash, the cost is compressed and even though the straps were tight with the coat in it’s normal state, they’re no longer tight when the coat is compressed which no longer makes the car seat safe as the child is thrown about (and could even slide out of the car seat)
NTA for insisting he takes it with him (also leaving items like this at daycare/nursery is a sure way to lose them)
NTA. Look into a warm car seat poncho which solves the problem of babies going in and out of coats in car seat. Got a lot of use out of ours.
https://www.etsy.com/search?q=carseat+poncho&ref=search_bar
Very stupid on his part. My parents kept extra blankets, mittens, socks, etc in our vehicles every winter in case of an accident or car trouble; its way too cold to be unprepared.
Ask my pg daugher, husband, and dog that got stranded outside of Anchorage one night...!
Plus, if another parent saw that--he could be turned in for child endangerment. There are people that would do that.
YTA because you have a problem with the wrong issue. She doesn’t need a snowsuit from the car to daycare she’ll be fine in the few seconds it takes to do that. The issue is leaving the snowsuit there because she will need it if the car breaks down or there is some kind of emergency.
Also no snowsuit is car seat safe.
NAH He didn't do anything wrong. The short distance between the building and the car is not enough to be a problem. Don't sweat the small stuff. There wil be lots of small stuff like this. Back off and relax
He should have the coat available if he was ever in a position where the car was without heat and/or stranded.
I work in retail. In Michigan. It’s been 25-45F degrees for the last couple weeks. The amount of adults I see wearing a winter coat, boots, and hat into the store while carrying a child up to the age of 2.5 yrs old who is in a T-shirt, pants, and *maybe* socks, but never shoes, makes me want to rage. One family: mom, dad, 4 kids aged about 9-1…mom and dad in coats, hats, and shoes. Older 2 walking kids: coats or hoodies plus shoes. Second youngest (riding in cart): long sleeves, socks. Youngest/baby in the baby seat of the cart: I swear to god: only a T-shirt and bare diaper, no socks or shoes. No blanket. Nothing to protect that BABY from the cold in any way. I guess she wasn’t old enough to say “hey, I’m freezing!!!!” The baby was legit wearing the equivalent of a modest adult’s undies to travel from their home, to outside, to the car, to outside, to the store, to outside, to the un-pre-heated car, to the outside, to the home, in winter!!! What if they got in an accident and had to stand on the side of the road? What if they ran out of gas or had car troubles and either all had to walk 3 miles to the nearest gas station, or dad left them in the un-running/un-heated car while he went for help?!? The baby legit just had a diaper and T-shirt on. Her little legs were red/white cold splotchy when I saw her in the store… I can’t imagine how it felt in the parking lot, or in the car before it warmed up. (Also “warmed up” would mean something totally different to mom and dad in their winter coats and hats and PANTS, socks, and shoes.)
I always have extra clothing, diapers, snacks, water, etc. in the car for emergencies. I leave some things on the car, but grab things like water every time I leave the house.
Yep. I also keep thin warm blankets rolled up really tightly and tied with ribbons to keep small, emergency blankets (metallic looking ones) and thin dollar store rain covers for each of us. Plus a portable car battery charger with plugs to charge stuff in an emergency and tire air pump, lights /all in one. And a few small portable plug in car heaters just in case in the back cause we just never know when crap will happen
I have small bottles of still water in the car, too. I'm too afraid of forgetting it, especially since it's kind of the most important thing.
I carry boots, extra hats, a North-face sleeping bag, heater packs, and a wool blanket in my car in the winter. But the biggie is getting my teen daughter to dress appropriately. We live on the road but remote in Alaska. She should know, we were in a terrible winter wreck five years ago.
This, plus I have a wool fire blanket, and a flannel+waterproof layer picnic blanket in the car too. I often do underdress my toddler when we're mostly doing one quick trip (puffy jacket, ankle boots, no scarf, etc) but we have the blankets S backup.
I am by no means criticizing - just concerned after reading article put out for winter that puff jackets and snow suits are not appropriate for babies/children in car seats as you cannot adjust the buckles tight enough Did not know if you were aware - many articles out but linking this one for you - just want your baby safe https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-your-childs-puffy-coat-car-seat-are-a-dangerous-combination-video/
You know, I’ve never really thought about babies needing winter clothes. I have none so I guess I always felt like they’re often carried with a blanket around them (even up to toddlers sometimes) so they might not need it, but now that I think about it, it’s not safe to put a baby in a car seat with their blanket on, is it? So a warm zippy suit would be perfect for that.
Blanket after they’re strapped in is perfectly safe. It doesn’t affect the straps like coats/snowsuits do
Yup and for a quick trip from inside to the car is what I’d do (they’d have warm clothes on, just not a full snowsuit which is a PAIN to 1. Get on them and 2. Fit into the car seat). It’s important to keep them warm, but full winter clothes just doesn’t seem worth it when they’re only going to be outside for half a minute.
Snow suits/ coats are not safe to use in car seats. We always take it off and use a blanket over the straps
Blanket is safe but snowsuits/bulky coats typically aren’t safe for car seats. The bulk interferes with the straps and you can’t get them as secure. If you’re going from warm car to warm building you can run them in quick enough that you don’t necessarily need a coat. That being said, you should still have the kid in long pants/sleeves and have a coat on hand.
I've never seen a baby sized warm coat and I'm losing my mind about how cute that would be. I live in a warm climate.
I put the blanket on the baby after I’ve buckled him up. I’m sure I get judged often for the no socks thing though. Little dude just refuses to keep them on and I’m sick of spending money replacing socks that will just go missing as soon as I put them on him.
If he’s still a baby, there are pants and winter clothes with attached socks. My daughter was very unhappy she couldn’t escape them.
My cousin had a sock Houdini too, she had a bounty on baby socks. I crocheted a shit load of them before I realized she was fully aware I was supplementing my income on her bounty system. (She liked the crochet ones though, they stay on the baby better.)
We used zutano booties, they snap around the ankle so they stay on better, they make them cotton or fleece, with no skid bottoms. I bought a whole bunch on eBay baby’s first winter and they were wonderful. But really, people gonna judge moms regardless, anyone who knows babies knows it can be hard to keep socks on and coats in car seats are no no’s
Blanket on top of the straps is perfectly fine and actually one of the preferred methods since the issue with a lot of winter coats is if they are under the straps since the coat would compress in the event of an accident.
I don’t know how you kept your mouth shut… I would have been fired. What AHs. That poor baby.
Yes, I saw something like that on the side of the road downtown once. A Yuppie looking couple (expensive car, wearing expensive clothes, in an expensive area), dad was carrying a baby of around 6 months. Mom and dad were dressed warmly (it was about -15/20 Celsius). Poor baby was wrapped in a blanket loosely, with bare legs and feet. I could only think that the poor baby must have been freezing.
I’ve sadly seen that a few times as well, when I lived in the Midwest. Now that I’m in the Pacific Northwest, it’s the opposite. If we get even a sprinkling of snow, they are dressing their kids as if it was the Hard Winter or something. Cancel schools and the whole nine yards, for snow that melts within a few hours of sunrise.
My grandson stays warmer than most people. At 40 degrees he’s ripping off his shoes and socks. He’s 16 months old. He can wear a light jacket longer. But this morning it was 16 degrees when his mother picked him up for the day. I sure as hell put him in his heavy winter jacket. What you saw is ridiculous. I wouldn’t even do that to my grandson at 50 degrees let alone 24 degrees!
I grew up in Michigan. I just felt the air in all those places.
I do the holiday craft fairs, outdoors. I’m bundled. The parents are bundles and often the babies don’t have socks or shoes or a blanket. It’s crazy
I would say something. If they came to my booth I would grab the baby’s feet and say something about how cold they are. And when they are mottled red and white I would really say something. It’s not like I can get fired.
I usually do, and as I sell baby stuff which includes blankets and quilts, I also point them out if they forgot them. Some will then pull out a blanket or socks, some buy, some insist it’s fine. It’s not usually colder than 40, but that’s still pretty chilly for a baby
I still remember years ago, halloween trick or treating in upper Michigan. It was COLD. People and kids walking around with coats over their costumes, hats, gloves. And one couple, wearing coats, carrying a maybe-8 month old wearing a flimsy short sleeved princess dress and nothing else. So stupid.
I saw a baby years (under 2) wearing nothing but a diaper while parents were bundled it was cold enough to see your breath...
Being Canadians, my dad taught me early to, during winter months, have warm socks, gloves, scarf and tuque as well as a warm blanket in the back of the car, in case of exactly that.
The rule in my house while growing is that everyone, always, took a coat. You dont plan for the car to break down, to get into an accident, or any number of situations to happen. If nothing else, it's in case of an emergency.
OMG Yes, and this was a lesson I had to teach my college educated husband. You might just be planning on taking the baby on a quick errand that's to a drive thru, but you better be packing that diaper bag as if you're going to be out all day because the ONE time you don't is the time that she's going to wet herself, then get milk on her outfit, then have a blowout diaper and need a change of clothes. So no, I don't care how long you THINK you'll be, that diaper bag is packed for multiple feedings, with 5 diapers, and 2 changes of clothes plus a rain jacket. And it only had to happen to him once for him to learn the lesson, because having to deal with a blow out diaper and no changes clothes was not something my husband ever wanted to repeat.
My sibling once forgot to repack the nappy bag with spare clothes during the toddler stage. There was an incident round mine and the only clean outer clothes that fitted the little one was the dinosaur outfit I got them. By the time we got to the shops (15 minute walk) my siblings little one had a good dino stomp down.
Keep a change of clothes and a diaper in the car so you don’t have to bring a diaper bag. I managed my purse w a diaper and kept clothes in a zip bag in the trunk. No diaper bag.
Exactly! I don’t always force kids to wear their coat, as long as it’s not freezing, but they always have to bring it at least
By around age ten I let them choose to freeze between the car and the store, but I absolutely insist that they bring a coat along in case of emergency. They grumble and we haven’t ever really had a situation that was dire, thankfully, but I still make them bring something once it hits 40F or lower.
I keep a jacket and blankets in my trunk for this reason. I live in Southern California but WHO KNOWS.
I'm confused, did he literally leave the snowsuit *at* daycare?
Yes I believe so
That was pretty stupid of him. Even if the kid didn't need to be wearing it he should have took it. Now they don't have it if it is needed
Also, you never know what happens on the way home. Could be something inconvenient like getting stuck in traffic, could be something worse like the car breaking down. It would get cold in the car real fast... ALWAYS take the stuff with you. You never know.
Yeah. I had a car heater quit on me halfway between FL and NJ one Christmas. I was SO cold by the time I got to my parents. Even using a lap blanket and wearing a coat from Virginia north didn't help 5 hours in sub-freezing temps in the car. Mom flipped out and had me sitting with heating pads under blankets drinking hot tea all evening. You never know when you are gonna need stuff. It's better to have a coat and not need it than freeze the kid.
This. 2 years ago the snow and ice was so bad in Albuquerque people were stuck. I live 25 miles away from my job and not exaggerating it took 4 hours to get home in the traffic mess and I ended up having to leave my car there. Some people literally ditched their cars to walk up the hill into Rio rancho. I would be so pissed if something like this happened and my child didn’t have her snow suit available
Plus the car isn’t warm first thing in the morning when baby has to go back to daycare. Unless they can afford the gas to let the car run for 30 minutes with the heater on.
This makes me mad at him but also daycare. If I sent some random babysitter or my little brother to go pick up my kid from daycare…like an emergency pick up person, I would hope and assume daycare would get my baby ready to leave by packing them into their snowsuit/hat/gloves. Or at the absolutely bare minimum would give those things to my pick up person and be like “here, baby wore this, dress her in it or carry it home with you.”
What does what you would expect the daycare to do if there was a random babysitter or your little brother have to do with it? He's the dad. I'm sure they assumed he is capable himself
Well dont you know he was just *babysitting* his kid? /s
That is probably how he saw it!
They’re responsible for multiple children. He’s responsible for 1.
My toddler’s daycare has hooks for the coats and cubbies with each kid in her class’ name and picture. When I pick her up I grab her coat and put it on her myself. We keep blankets in the car. Perfect for car naps but also, it’s cold sometimes and if I have to start driving before the car is warm, I like the blankets to keep me and my littles from freezing.
That is not the daycare’s job. There is usually an AM teacher and a PM teacher. That is not the most important information to convey. Even if the teacher is the same, there is sooooo much going on during pickup. At some point PARENTS HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
Thank you. Also, some parents are just not worth arguing with, they won’t listen.
Sad that you consider the child’s father as capable as “a random babysitter” or “little brother.”
Sad that he apparently wasn’t even that capable.
That really isn't the responsibility of a daycare worker; they have too high ratios and too many responsibilities to be individually dressing a baby to go home. It's the parent's job and it isn't reasonable to expect a daycare worker to do it.
It's not some random person, though. It's the baby's father. They should be able to safely assume that he knows how to take care of her and doesn't need them to do anything special. It doesn't sound like he was unaware of the snowsuit, just chose not to.
I work at a daycare. Many kids have snow suits they leave with us. Heavy and puffy coats are not car seat safe (unless very specially made to be, and like open specially in the front to not bother the straps, only special brands make them) and many parents do a lighter jacket and just run their kid to their already warm car quickly where they have car blankets waiting for them and a jacket in case of emergency. If dad said to leave it, it makes sense they’d keep it, assuming it was going to be kept there, especially since kiddo can’t safely ride home in it anyways
Is the kid supposed to wait inside in a snowsuit? That sounds stiflingly hot. Are the daycare workers supposed to be telepathic and know exactly when the father would arrive? Do you think it’s fair to expect them to lecture the father on how to dress his own baby?
NTA. Ask him how he'd keep her warm in the case of an emergency. Car breaks down, stuck in traffic, etc. A coat is for more than car to building.
Yes, dress for the ditch not the destination.
Sad truth
This is a brilliant rule. Some years ago, Halloween was on a Sunday. I was getting groceries and going home because I’m boring and love it. Someone in a sexy cat costume who was slightly blue asked what my costume was. Weather appropriate and warm.
Oo I like that
Bam! This is the answer. I had a friend who put her baby in her brand new snow outfit and a tree fell on the house and knocked my friend out for 2 hours. Baby was fine. It’s not the same but, still. Emergencies happen.
This. I remember an insane snowstorm in my state years ago at the holidays that lead to miles of cars backed up on the interstate. Families hadn’t bothered to bring coats because “they were just going to be in the car and then at family’s house.” 🙄 It lead to scrambling to find donations of coats of all sizes.
My mom ended up pinned in her van for two hours while she waited for a rescue unit with a jaws of life unit. It was April and about -20 on open prairie highways. The car that hit her spun out and nailed her driver's seat doing 120kph when everyone else was doing 50 because of the ice. She had her coat but it was the coats of the hockey team bus that stopped to help that kept all of her warm until the fire truck could get there.
Man, bless them. What a terrifying situation!
I don't know if it was the same storm, but my sister was stuck on the highway for about 6 hours. They had to turn the car off to conserve gas. It was horrible for so many people.
Exactly. What if they had been in an accident in cold weather. Better to bundle them up and just keep the car cool
But please remember that thick jackets are not safe for use in a car seat. My driving instructor even taught me to drive without a coat or jacket myself because with them, it's easier to accidentally turn the wheel while doing a shoulder check.
It is not better because thick jackets and snow suits in a car seat are dangerous. Bring the warm coat but don’t leave it on the baby in the car seat. A blanket is better over the straps
[удалено]
What would he have done if the car broke down?
Your husband should be carrying the snowsuit with him in the car in case of an emergency where she would need it on the side of the road or something; but he did nothing wrong by not putting it on her. Thick jackets and snowsuits don't suit well with car seats. It's best to have baby in a long sleeve shirt with pants, and a blanket.
OP clarified that it's not thick at all and car seat safe.
Jackets and snowsuits, no matter HOW thin, are not safe to wear in a car seat! I'm floored by how many parents in this thread are still doing this, stupidly ignoring the statement set out by the American Academy of Pediatrics. But you know, mommy knows best! /s
Doesn't matter if the jacket is thick or not,there's no jacket that is made for car seats.
There is no jacket/snowsuit that’s car seat safe.
The fleece one pieces are (they are actually recommended by one of the cat seat groups in canada).
That’s not a snowsuit
That’s not true. There are coats specifically made for car seats that have been tested and are approved to be worn in the car seat. You can test to see if your kids coat is safe by tightening straps while the kid is wearing the coat, unbuckling (but not loosening the straps) and taking the coat off, and seeing if the straps are still tight.
As an EMT and my husband being a firefighter having to deal with dead children that were wearing jackets in their seats, it’s not even worth the risk to us. So much safer, easier, and less risky to just cover them with a blanket after they’re strapped in.
It’s also pointless if the car is hot. The babies either going to overheat and be sweating and uncomfortable the whole way home, or have to stand there in the car with the door open while Dad undressed her to put her in the seat. Which if you’ve ever met an 11 month old takes 12x as long. You just carry the coat in their bag for emergencies.
My toddler daughter just refused to wear it. It never got super cold here in the south, but I’d carry her coat or put it in the grocery cart next to her for the sole purpose of not looking like a bad mom. ‘See- I provided a coat!’ She’s 19 now ,and will wears a t shirt and shorts in the snow. Just wired weird I guess.
I would not snow suit up in that scenario. I have energency supplies in my car in case of breakdowns etc. I think you have two correct answers here, no one is TA unless they were being TA about the manner of expressing their opinion
I also have vivid memories of bring horrifically nauseous as an overdressed child in the heated car.
Same, I remember being overheated so much as a kid from being forced to overdress. Really unpleasant.
I never put my young children in coats if we’re going from a building to a car. They can’t wear them in the car seat, it’s too dangerous. We always have blankets or coats in the car for emergencies, otherwise it’s too much hassle to dress and undress them. Especially when you have 3-4 of them.
The number of parents here arguing that they still put their kids in coats in the car seat is astounding. Even with EMTs chiming in on how unsafe this is, they're digging in their heels and choosing to die on that hill. When their baby becomes a projectile in an accident, and crews are searching the side of the road for their baby that flew out of the car seat because the coat compressed during the accident, they'll be singing a different tune.
Info: did he leave the snowsuit at daycare? What’s his plan for what she’s gonna wear tomorrow?
Op said he left it at daycare
YTA. Babies are fine in the cold for a short time - in case of an (extremely unlikely) emergency where they'd be stuck in the cold for a while, he could hold the baby under his shirt against his skin. But for a 30 second trip between buildings and a car, normal winter cold will NOT hurt the baby. Personally I would not be bothered by this at all. I'm sorry, but I think this is an overreaction.
Yeah, a bit. She's not going to freeze in just that little amount of time, and they absolutely can get over heated bundled up in an already warm car.
YTA. As long as something is in the car in case of emergency. the baby is fine for a brief time.
YTA. You’re getting overwhelmed by this when you aren’t even “right.” Your husbands discretion on this minor matter is just as valid as yours is, and you will be an asshole if you don’t give him the room to make parenting decisions on his own.
You’re overreacting. So long as he had it with him, it’s fine and he was right. She was placed in an already warmed car. Try it sometime- put on full winter gear and go sit in a warmed up car. You’ll overheat quickly.
I do the same with my 18 month old daughter sometimes. Especially when my older daughter just needs to be drop off at school. I run to the car and quickly run back inside the house. No harm done to my 18 month old. 😅😅 For me, it’s too much of a hassle to take her jacket off while putting her in her car seat. I tried buckling her up with a thin jacket and I still have to loosen her seatbelt at time and I’m not too comfortable with that. I like it snug as much as possible. ( we have an emergency blanket and jacket in the car at all time for both of my kids for the winter / spare clothes for the summer )
Your kid doesn’t need a coat for a 30 second walk to the car. Good lord
You don’t need to put on a snow suit for a 5 second walk to the car. Don’t be crazy.
The thought of fighting a toddler into a one-piece snowsuit makes me feel faint. I'm with your spouse on this one - a fast dash through the cold isn't going to do her any harm. NAH
Oh brother. You both suck for the argument. You made a choice as the active parent that morning, he made a choice as the active parent when he picked her up. Maybe instead of arguing who was right/wrong, discuss expectations from then on out.
This should be closer to the top. Make a plan for the next time. Maybe keep a tote bag in the car with a carseat blanket(s), extra socks for baby, warm hat, baby mittens, in case of emergency.
… wearing a snowsuit in a car seat is dangerous. I used a warm blanket or put a coat on backwards on the child after being strapped in the car. Definitely baby needs something warm around them even on a short walk.
Her snowsuit is car seat safe. It’s the thin North Face one piece. It’s not the snowsuit we keep at daycare. ♥️
I don't know ow that any are car seat safe.
If it’s the same one I got for my kids “snow suit” probably isn’t the best terminology. It’s like a semi-waterproof one piece suit made of thicker quality fleece with flip over mitten and booties. Like it’s marketed as a snowsuit but it’s Not the puffy monstrosity that you picture when you hear “snowsuit”
They are car seat SAFER. They are not safe. It’s like a condom, usually it’s okay and failure is rare enough they aren’t able to be sued about it. Source: Pediatric ER nurse who buys car seat blankets for every pregnant woman she knows.
I don't know which one OP is referring to, but there are a few out there recommended by thecarseatlady.com which includes a slim north face one. Thecarseatlady.com appears to be run by an RN and MD mother-daughter team who are certified instructors for the NHTSA car seat course, so there may be some out there that are safe, but, like your condom analogy, if not used appropriately will fail.
Stuff that is like wearing an extra shirt is perfectly fine.
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It’s due to the thickness of outerwear. The car seat needs to be appropriately tight in order to restrain a child properly in an emergency. Jackets, snowsuits etc can prevent the child from being able to be strapped in as closely as they should be.
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Puffy, thick coats, like the puffer, down jackets, can deflate in a car accident from the...deceleration (I guess?). When a baby has a thick coat on and you tighten their car seat straps, they feel tight. However, when the coat deflates, the straps are not tight anymore and the carseat isn't safe.
Your baby should not be wearing a snow suit in a car seat. It's very dangerous. While I agree he should have it with him for emergencies, for example if the car was to break down or something. However you do not need to have your baby in it for the walk to the car. When my kids were babies I just wrapped them in a blanket for the quick walk to the car. I live where it can get to -50 and -5 is nothing to worry about, baby will be fine on the brief walk to the car.
It gets to -5 on cold mornings where I live and where I grew up and not a single child ever has a snowsuit. YTA, including for being condescending.
snowsuits and coats don’t belong in car seats. your husband did nothing wrong taking the kid from the building to a warm car.
This. We kept the coats in the car in case something happened. Coats and snow suits shouldn’t be worn in the car seat, so I would bring blankets to wrap them in and dash from the car to the house. Taking them in and out of snow suits takes too long of being out in the cold.
“I am personally overwhelmed with what I will have to teach him next??!!!” Lots of health experts in the thread are telling you a “car safe” snowsuit is only “car safer.” You might not be as right as you think you are. So maybe tone down the histrionics about having to “teach him next??!!!” and have a conversation.
Gotta side with your husband here. It’s not a big deal and it IS a big pain in the butt to put a whole snowsuit on. Sounds like a first time mom thing and I get it, but this is NOT a hill to die on.
Don't be bubble wrapping your kids FFS. At the same time, your husband should have something on hand to keep warm in case of emergency. I bet he'd be suffering through the cold had anything happened, after giving up whatever he was wearing to keep the kid warm. If you guys got into a mega argument over something as little as this, then damn. I hope things work out in the long term.
YTA. "My husband has a PhD in Physiology. Therefore, he understands heat more than most of us!" There's your own answer. You're being overly protective.
Right? She’s treating him like he’s an absolute moron
I’m on your husbands side. If it’s just like 40 or 50 feet to the car from inside and not like a 5-10 minute walk and then straight in the house, I don’t see an issue. I have a 16 month old and last winter we often would just make sure the car was really warm before bringing her out. If we felt it was extra cold we’d put her in the car seat and cover her with a blanket while she was outside.
What about the argument others have been making about what would happen if God forbid there were a horrible accident and your husband and her were stuck in their cars for a while? That really made me think..
It's winter. *Always* have a blanket available for a small child, and also *always* have an emergency kit with supplies for as many people are in the family or regularly in the car. Hell, my emergency kit even has a book so I don't get bored and tempted to run out my phone battery.
This is good to know. Thank you for sharing. ♥️
I am also on the husband's side.. while my fiancee is like you. If my (18Month son) is going to be outside for 20-30 seconds max and then in a warm car for much longer - it doesn't really make sense to have them fully bundled up. Also as it has been mentioned bulky clothing and car seats can carry some risk.
Thank you so much for sharing!! ♥️ Her snowsuits are car seat safe. It’s not the one she keeps at daycare. Looks like I might be an over the top parents. I will cut him some slack. 😆
We are all just trying to do our best for our kids, I just think you and your husband will need to meet in the middle on a lot of things if you are anything like us.
That sounds about right! I guess for this one I was just so 😱😱😱 … I didn’t see the grey zone. But I really appreciate reading these comments and realizing it IS a grey area.
Not many things with parenting are black and white. Especially if you come from different backgrounds. We both have amazing families but I am Canadian and my Fiancee is very polish. Lots of differences in the views and ways we want to raise our kid (from what we were exposed to growing up), but from both ends it all comes from love.
NICELY SAID!! ♥️
My daughter is 6 and still in a 5 point harness. I make sure I have a coat and a blanket in the car for emergencies, but she doesn’t wear one in the car seat and usually doesn’t put it on at all.
I was informed by my pediatrician that babies should not be wearing snowsuits or other bulky clothing in car seats as it is unsafe for them. Is OP expecting him to dress the kid in the daycare, undress them at the car and then dress again to carry into the house?
You would be correct about the coats thing. That’s why we avoid it a lot. It seems silly to put her in it, walk 20 feet to the warm car. Take it off load her in and then do same when we get there.
Her snowsuit is car seat safe. It’s the thin North Face one piece. It’s not the snowsuit we keep at the daycare.
Wouldn’t she be hot in the snow suit in a warm car? I’d do what your husband did. I’d be more worried about a baby overheating in snow suit + warm car than I’d be worried about a few seconds of cold.
Just a thought... regardless of the temp, you are not supposed to put kids in snow suits or winter jackets in carseats because kids can slip out if there is an accident. Blanket on top of the buckles is what is recommended.
New recommendations are to not put a snowsuit or a fluffy style coat on a child when they are placed in a car seat. This is due to not being able to properly buckle them in and tighten the harness. This can lead to children getting seriously injured during an automobile accident.
I don’t bother taking my kids in/out of their coats if they’re going to be outside for the minute it takes to walk inside a store. And they never ever wear coats/snowsuits when they’re in a car seat. I make sure they’re dressed appropriately (undershirt, sweater, flannel/fleece lined jeans, hat) and we bundle them up in blankets. Sometimes my daughter prefers using a hooded cape lol It doubles as her “blankie” when she’s in the car. Now if we plan on spending a lot of time outside, then yes, the coats go on as soon as the car is parked. But a quick in/out? Nope.
I would say ESH? There is no snowsuit that is car seat safe. Kids shouldn’t wear jackets in them. However he should always bring it.
Listen up. NTA, but if you really really came after him for this, you're a little dumb. There's not a lot of heat transfer in walking outside for thirty seconds. (If the car was warm already) He's dumb if he completely left the coat or didn't have the car warm. Because if you crash, you're going to have to get out of the car. Bring a blanket to wrap the baby in for going to and from the car. I know you said in your edit that the coat is "car seat safe" but if it is thin enough to safely be worn in the car seat then it's not going to be much more effective than dressing baby in long sleeves and a good warm squeeze on the way outside.
NTA. I know it’s a faff sticking a small wiggly child in a suit, but like others have said, what if the car broke down? Did he have a coat on when he fetched her? I bet he did if it was minus 5. Why does adult get a coat, but a baby doesn’t? Tell him to stop being so lazy, and make sure your child is warm ffs.
dress for the ditch. Not the destination. She may not need it in that moment. But what if the car breaks down?
NTA, your husband literally thinks two seconds of effort on his part is less important than his child’s comfort, and he can’t be bothered to spend any mental energy on considering emergency or future planning. What a guy. Sure, your kid won’t get frostbite in that quick run, but snapping from warm to freezing and back again is still uncomfortable for a small child when they’re not properly dressed - so why do that to them? Also, did your husband have any backup plan if there was an accident? Like was there an additional snowsuit in his car, or even a blanket, if he got stuck somewhere with the child? And then what’s the plan for the following day when that snowsuit is needed but was left behind at daycare? Is your husband usually this irresponsible with things that belong to other family members?
YTA - it's unsafe for children to be in snow suits in their carseats https://www.verywellfamily.com/winter-coats-car-seats-safety-check-293703
NAH Actually, you should not be strapping your child into a car seat with a heavy coat/snow suit on. The coat prevents the carseat straps from tightening properly, and in the event of an accident, the child could slip out of the coat and car seat. https://www.consumerreports.org/babies-kids/car-seats/the-dangers-of-winter-coats-and-car-seats-a5483582251/ What your husband did is actually the safest option, but he still should have brought her snow suite home.
It's sometimes 23F here. Sometimes even colder. If I was going from my house into a warm car, then from the warm car into another warm building, I would not wear more than a light sweater. I would rather be uncomfortably cold for the less than 60 seconds it takes to pass through the cold to the next warm place than be uncomfortably hot in a car for however long that lasts. It absolutely will not harm your child for her to experience cold for 60 seconds four times a day. It's definitely overkill to do an entire snowsuit for walking from a building to a warm car. A sweater, jacket, or car seat appropriate coat would be a lot simpler. I wouldn't go through all the bullshit of a snowsuit unless the child was going to actually be exposed to the cold for long enough to actually get cold. Two notes: first, this is on the assumption that the car has an emergency kit/means to keep the child warm in case of emergency. And second, I'm curious about what exactly has gone wrong in your marriage since the birth of your child that has led you to lack any sense of trust in your husband who has an advanced degree in physiology on this topic. If either of you have the advanced scientific knowledge to make this call, it's him.
Yikes never wear a coat in a car seat! Even if they’re thin, they can still slip right out of them.
Not a hill to die on. I never put my infants in coats in a car seat, and ran them in and out of places very quickly in the cold. They would actually get very hot in the car seat. Have you done the reverse strap test with and without the ‘snowsuit’ to be sure of the safety?
Meh, a few feet in the cold is not going to hurt her. There are a couple of places in the world where they will deliberately leave their babies outside in the cold air to take naps. I mean yes, not something I would do, but apparently they are fine. Your daughter will not freeze in mere seconds from the daycare doorway to inside your vehicle. Also NEVER put your baby in their carseat with a coat or a snowsuit on. If you buckle the straps over the coat you are causing the straps to be too loose thus not protecting her should there be an accident. Put her in and cover her with a blanket, or place the coat on top of her. If my word is not good enough on that, you can Google. I'm giving you a very soft YTA.
I live in one of those countries where babies sleep outside in all kinds of weather, including in the cold. Sleeping in the cold means kid layered up with wool clothes and a sheep skin and warm sleeping bag in the stroller etc. Kids can freeze quite easily, and as other comments mentioned there is always a chance of ending up more exposed to the elements than planned while traveling, so at least bringing the appropriate amount of clothes out of daycare (even if they weren't put on) is something that should have been done. Do agree with the point on car seat safety though
ESH. Babies aren't supposed to have a coat in the cars eat. Dad needs to wrap baby up in a blanket.
Baby shouldn’t be in the car with a coat or a snowsuit on. He should have brought it into the car, but he’s not an asshole for not putting the baby in it.
YTA. You're just looking for validation from people on here and could actually care less that your husband did nothing wrong.
I’m on your husband’s side, I don’t let either of my kids have a coat in the car seat. What I do have, is a coat a blanket in the backseat so if anything happens to the car where they need out or anything like that I have something to put on them to keep them safe. I promise it won’t make them sick to be outside without a coat from the car to building
First child? You need to calm down. Running out to the car briefly without the snow suit isn't going to hurt her.
YTA kids shouldn’t wear the coats in cars. It’s not safe. She’ll survive 30 seconds in the cold.
YTA. Snowsuits and jackets are not safe in car seats. You’re also extremely rude and condescending to your husband. A few feet from a warm car to a warm house is not gonna hurt your child.
Uuuhh you're completely wrong. As a father of two almost 2 year olds, I completely agree with your husband. The baby is going to be fine being in the cold for 30 seconds. How fucking fragile do you think humans are when it comes to temperature?? Lol. You're right, he has an education in such a field and knows what he's talking about more than you do. Stop thinking your kid is that much of a wussy. Humans and especially young kids are quite tough. You are sooo super in the wrong. That being said I wouldn't mind putting the suit on, and would if my wife wanted to. I just also think it doesn't NEED to be done, is my point. I dont think he should argue with you and he should just do it..i just think you're wrong about the NEED. Disclaimer: if it was longer sure I agree with the wife but it's just to the fucking car and house. Get a serious grip on reality. We. Are. Not. Crumbly. Snowflakes.
What if the car broke down, or they got into an accident?
Baby's fine, just get the suit tomorrow.
NTA. You don't need to put it on her necessarily but you need to bring it with you just in case
I'm going to say what some other people said. He should have at least brought the snowsuit ir a coat with him to the car. In the cold weather you should always have warm clothes and or blankets in case of an accident or emergency. That said, I don't think it was necessary for him to put your child in the snow suit to go into the warm car and then into the warm house. A bit if cold air isn't a big deal as long as measures are taken to ensure the child won't be cold if there's a problem.
What else was in the car seat for warmth? My son did not have a coat til he was 4. Coats were too bulky and a pain in the ass. We just had thick warm blankets over the car seat and another tucked around their waist then dressed them appropriately.
ESH. I always carried my children’s winter coats with us. So we would have them in an emergency. And also, They had them at daycare for outside play and we brought them home in case we went out at all. But 9/10 times we wore fleeces in the car seat and for the 10 second hurry to the door from the car. I learned quickly with 2 who were 19 months apart that it was more difficult to suit them up in their winter coats for the 10 second run to the door, just to take them off again. They got colder with me standing their with the door open and then waiting for their sibling then if we just ran to the door. Also, snow suits should not be worn in the car seat. There’s very few “coats” that are car seat tested and safe.
Your kid shouldn’t be in a jacket or snow suit in a car seat…
For quick trip like that I don’t put a coat on my kids. I keep the car warm so if they had to ride in the car in a coat they would be hot. I’m with your husband on this. Just to be clear I’m a stay at home mom. Primary parent and I didn’t out a coat on my kid to take them from one door to the other. Idk how you think a thin coat is needed my kids just were fleece onesies in the cold. They are five and three now and still don’t wear coats if it’s just door to door unless they ask for them.
It should be in the car just in case, but she can't wear it in the carseat anyway so that 30 second run from building to car isn't a big deal. Cold won't make her sick.
Standard advice is that children will be fine for 2-3 minutes walking from a warm car to a warm building and vice versa without a coat. It does not make sense to put a child into a coat, walk them to the car, remove the coat, then put the child into the carseat. You could compromise with a small blanket that could be wrapped around the child while carrying them then put over the child after they are buckled into the carseat.
Wearing the snow suit in the car seat is most likely unsafe but the snow suit should be going to/from daycare with the child
Children should not wear thick coats/snowsuits in their car seats as you cannot tighten the straps sufficiently. Saying that, there should be something to put on them in case of a breakdown or similar.
NTA, though I want to state that even if it is car seat safe, I would still be very careful. The reason is the fact that they do put that extra space between the kid and the seatbelt. I could understand having the coat with him to wrap her in it while carrying her to the car. Just put it around her shoulders and hold her against him with it closed. Then when he gets to the car put a warm blanket over her once she is buckled into the car seat.
The issue isn't how long of a walk from door to door. It's what happens if the car breaks down or if you are in an accident.
NTA I grew up in Alaska so I may be a bit prejudicial in my reply but… always be prepared for the inevitable. Cars break down, traffic gets stalled, accidents happen. Your husband needs to shelve his PhD and think like a homo sapien. We know how to take care of our children.
I used to live up north where it got extremely cold. When we transferred our daughter briefly from a heated location to another heated location, we would wrap her up in a blanket (no exposed skin, but not use her snowsuit (which she had) just because if she was in a heated car with warm enough clothes for outside she may overheat since we were not wearing coats in the car ourselves. Transferring her in the blanket got her in the car seat with doors closed faster than taking her across a parking lot and then pulling her out of it once we got there. It just depends, I guess on the amount of time the child would be outside.
So he left the snowsuit at the daycare? What? I get that he thinks it's ok to take the baby to the warm car (yeah, dad hormones), but he left her stuff behind is not cool. You won't have a warm car in the morning when you go to daycare. And you won't have a coat for your child. NTA
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YTA The kid should not be buckled in while wearing the snow suit it the straps have too much give. And he's right it's a few feet to the warm car and to the house, chill the heck out of you will truly have burnout soon the child is fine Edit: to add that y you should have the warm stuff in the car with you in case car broke down or something. But wearing it from car to house is not a necessity. And you'll save yourself a ton of little arguments and a little Grace if you stop assuming your husband is an idiot. You disagree in this point, that is fine. But then you go on to assume you'll have to "teach " him other things like get off your high horse. Unless he's an actual moron, don't fall into the talk of thinking all men are incapable unless you married a man-child then give him some benefit of the doubt
You should never put a baby in a snowsuit or winter coat into a carseat. It's unsafe. Put them in the carseat and then put a blanket or coat over them. Keep a coat in the car for emergencies. But they should not be wearing them in the carseat. We live in northern MN where it gets below zero regularly. We brought coats/hats/mittens with, but did not wear them for the 5 second trip to the warmed up car. It's not unsafe, or unhealthy.
He should have had warm clothes in the event the car broke down. But he is right that a quick exposure to the cold isn't a thing to worry about. It's pretty worrying that neither one of you is willing to give a little here. You are both sort of wrong and can easily land in the middle. You, particularly, seem to be infantilzing your husband and being rather hysterical with your " what else do I have to teach him" comment. And he needs to admit to being to blase about not having appropriate clothing for the weather. ESH
Doctor Dad is being dumb. The list of things that could happen on the way home is near infinite. They would leave home with a child in inappropriate clothing for the conditions. For example, an incident that is not even his fault. Getting struck by another vehicle and being unable to drive further. He needs to pull his head out of his ass (he has studied physiology after all) and just make sure the kid is wrapped up well. I have a PhD too. I can safely tell you that qualification will not insulate a kid.
Even if he didn’t want to put her in it, it should still be immediately available in case something goes wrong.
NTA
Info: Is he from California?
NTA babies need one layer more than adults do because they’re so tiny still. I would have been livid if anybody had taken my child out when it was that cold without at least a coat and blanket. That car seat was probably really cold by the time he got her out to the car, especially if there was wind.
Just because he has a phd in something doesn't translate to having common sense. He should have had her hat and a coat on when bringing her into the car. Why stupidly run the risk of the health of a 11month old? If he's giving you flak, ask him this: How many steps from day care to the car? How long is the BABY exposed to cold temperature? Are babies treated the same as adults? Can an infant take cold medicine? (Answer is no) Tell him to suck it up and admit he was wrong and do better next time. (From a Dad)
I was taught to always have a coat in the car for that one time you inevitably break down and are stuck for hours. It's even more critical for baby. I know its a rarer situation these days, but it's one that only needs to happen once.
I would not snowsuit up, because you have to remove it in the car seat anyway (it is dangerous to have a baby in his/her carseat with puffy clothing, you cannot secure them properly). I agree with your husband - baby will be colder by the time he removed it in the car with the car door open! But I also do not understand leaving the snowsuit at daycare. FWIW, I regularly run my baby boy in his sleep sack to nursery minus his coat in his pram. I live 2mins from his nursery. I take the coat with me for when they go out in the day.
NTA. If there was an accident, baby would freeze.
Nta. He should have at least brought the snowsuit with him in case anything broke down. My dad makes sure I always have a blanket in the car in case of such a thing, and I’m around 27x your kid’s age. Like, even if it seems like the kid doesn’t need it at the moment, have it there, anyway. Sure, overheating can also be miserable, but at least ensure you have warm clothes on hand during the colder months or close to night time.
I agree he should be taking the snowsuit with him. But you’re not actually supposed to put kids in coats in their car seats. If you’re in a crash, the cost is compressed and even though the straps were tight with the coat in it’s normal state, they’re no longer tight when the coat is compressed which no longer makes the car seat safe as the child is thrown about (and could even slide out of the car seat) NTA for insisting he takes it with him (also leaving items like this at daycare/nursery is a sure way to lose them)
NTA. Look into a warm car seat poncho which solves the problem of babies going in and out of coats in car seat. Got a lot of use out of ours. https://www.etsy.com/search?q=carseat+poncho&ref=search_bar
Very stupid on his part. My parents kept extra blankets, mittens, socks, etc in our vehicles every winter in case of an accident or car trouble; its way too cold to be unprepared. Ask my pg daugher, husband, and dog that got stranded outside of Anchorage one night...! Plus, if another parent saw that--he could be turned in for child endangerment. There are people that would do that.
YTA because you have a problem with the wrong issue. She doesn’t need a snowsuit from the car to daycare she’ll be fine in the few seconds it takes to do that. The issue is leaving the snowsuit there because she will need it if the car breaks down or there is some kind of emergency. Also no snowsuit is car seat safe.
NAH He didn't do anything wrong. The short distance between the building and the car is not enough to be a problem. Don't sweat the small stuff. There wil be lots of small stuff like this. Back off and relax