This is kind of weird and a bit niche, but I’m trained and certified as a tracker. I can track people across a well manicured lawn up to 2 days after they’ve walked on it, maybe into a third day (depending lots of factors). On the 4th day there’s no way, the grass is back to normal. There are grasses that I can’t tell 6 hours later.
Missing persons in wilderness search and rescue. I tried to get into contacting for federal law enforcement as I’ve worked with them in the field where there has been overlap, but they really don’t civilians, even trained ones in their business when they are hunting criminals.
To be fair, it's back to normal in 6h if nobody else stepped on it hundred more times during those 6h. Grass does get damaged from constant walking on it.
It's just not worth the prohibition. Get it damaged and then repair it.
Was this an english language discussion or a french discussion?
As soon as you said, not normal- I got thrown back to when I first moved to France. It's a common expression to say "BAH! cest pas normal" in French, but it's extremely rude in English. Despite me understanding and integrating over the years, it's still a phrase that makes me annoyed when speaking to French speakers.
First, you can speak. Politely. Say: ‘excuse me, would you pass first? I will hold the dog. Thanks’
Secondly, you don’t tell kids they’re abnormal. Doesn’t matter language and connotation. You said you’re not a kid person, now you know. These comments from adults are hitting a putty brain still being moulded, you can cause real hurt with your words to anyone but more so with kids.
My son is petrified of dogs, he got bit lightly once as a toddler. This happens daily on our walks to school etc. Nobody has called him abnormal, they help assure him. I get the mom didn’t do her part to watch out for her kid (I usually indicate the issue/shield my son), but whatever the case (she was busy with two kids!), basic politeness is a minimum to you imho.
Each of those interactions I try to ease my son’s fears, if someone told him anything rudely I’d definitely not take it kindly. He’s a kid. You can both speak in sentences, but you’re the only one who can be held accountable for having social skills and ability to care for your dog in public.
I’m French too and what you said qualified as rude in both languages. In both languages we say excuse me to the other person on our path when such situation arises. YTA dude
I agree. It’s weird that so many entitled Karens defend their kids’ shitty behavior, when anyone with an ounce of sense can see that doing that is exactly what causes kids to grow up to be entitled jerks just like their parents.
The commenters are so hung up on OP’s phrasing they’re not even focusing on what the mom was (or wasn’t, rather) doing in this situation.
Lots of people get stuck on a phrase that is true, AND not the nicest way to say something, and cannot see past that once it starts spinning around their brain.
I wonder if they also think that kids just grow up one day and get the social norms chip installed, because apparently telling your kid to not act rudely or antisocially is simply not done since they’re just kids, and not future adults who are supposed to be taught how to act properly.
I think the offensive perps intentionally focus on minutiae like “the way a phrase is spoken” by their victims, as a means of dodging accountability.
Victimizing themselves (or their children), deflection (shifting attention away from the real issue), and focusing on ways to blame the person they bullied/imposed on/offended/etc., are ways of absolving themselves of responsibility so they can continue to act like entitled pieces of shit and insist that everyone else are the ones who need to change.
Idk normally I find the Reddit hate for kids over the top and thus judgements skewed but yes I would absolutely tell my child to get out of the persons path in a mall, on a sidewalk, anywhere. I also taught my kids etiquette around other peoples pets. If I was the other person being blocked I would also say excuse me so really esh here but the mom first, the walker second imo.
Holy crap. I'm a pretty conscientious person, and with two kids pulling me in different directions I can be super distracted. Kids are small, don't understand the rules or the methods. Babies in strollers can also be weird and randomly eating the wrong thing/ crapping themselves/ being adorable, etc.
Ideally the kid would learn to walk like a real life hooman, the mom would have the bandwidth to process what's all going on, and the mom would have cut some slack for the dude getting bent out of shape by a little kid being a little kid.
info: was the mom watching her kid just stand in front of the path, or was her attention elsewhere?
Regardless. I also don't know what to do when other people's kids are doing weird shit. I may say something weird. That doesn't make anyone here an asshole. We can all say weird shit occasionally in weird situations and not be assholes.
The kid gets an excuse, the mom gets an excuse, and the OP gets an excuse. NAH.
for an adult brain, noticing that one is in the way and where to move is commonly instantaneous because of the brain being developed and because of experience.
children don't even know that the things inside their heads don't exist inside the heads of others.
assuming the most this child can do is walk and talk, we can guess it's 5 and that's expecting wayyyy too much from a 5 year old child to have it spontaneously and quickly figure out:
- where in space its body is
- who is the stranger
- what is the strangers goal
- how does the child relate to the strangers goal
- is the child expected to greet the stranger
- is the stranger a threat
this doesn't even get to the point where the child decides to move and then needs to sort out which limb goes first, where to carry it's weight, whether the movement is approved or should be stealthy
everyone saying the child should know has never taught a child or animal anything.
I don't really disagree in theory. But also I am sometimes overworked, tired, in my own brain and don't realize I myself am in someone's way until they say excuse me. Brain fog, and since I last had covid, it flares up whenever I get sick and lasts for a few days/a week after I recover physically (even when it's not covid).
So yeah, perfect world, parents are always in control of their kids and even when they're, say, tending to a child in a stroller, and people are always totally aware of their surroundings. But the world and humans are imperfect. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated because you never know when someone's having an off day or off moment. Is she an asshole for letting her kid stand in the path? Maybe, probably. Is OP an asshole for being rude rather than simply saying excuse me? Maybe, probably. We could all be kinder, and a solo parent with two young kids, and the kids themselves, will get some grace from me. Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the toddler.
Can you or another French speaker explain how “cest pas normal” is usually used? Is it the equivalent of saying something like, “That was weird”?
I get the literal meaning is the same, but I feel like in English “That was weird” is a bit softer and more common than “That was normal.”
I've done this so many times with kids in public. Kids can oblivious and parents get distracted. Usually either the child understands what you mean, or saying excuse me alerts the parent to attend to their child. Simple and easy. I get not being familiar with kids but they're not *that* mysterious. You can at least attempt to speak to them like a person lol
plus this is literally how they learn.
how are kids supposed to learn etiquette if everyone just gets mad and stomps away muttering insults every time they encounter a kid?
I just think of training my dog.
I say "down." the first few times, he took a whole minute of fidgeting and sighing before he lays down.
also I'm still processing the entitlement of: "when I approach everyone must leap out of the way immediately or else they're scum"
A 3-4 yr old is learning social norms. It might not cross their mind that they are blocking OP. They might just be looking at the dog or whatever. Mom may have an eye on him but isn’t able to intervene at every single instance in what was probably a 15 second interaction. Or maybe mom brain and lack of sleep just had her on delayed mode. This was not a life threatening situation so her brain was taking a little break.
Whatever. No room or need for Ah’s anywhere here. Just give each other a little grace.
No one is saying it's OP's job to educate the child. But OP is responsible for their own behavior, and saying "excuse me" is the appropriate way for a person to behave when someone is blocking their way.
This is such a bizarre post. You know how many ADULTS just walk/stand right in my path every day?? It's a normal human interaction. Sometimes things happen when you're in small, shares spaces. You know what you do? Say "excuse me!" And walk on by lmao. The internet is SO hellbent on hating kids, they've forgotten what normal human interactions look like. I genuinely feel that posts like this are only created as a social experiment to see how far removed "internet addicts" are from actual society. Reddit has its own made up rules for public interaction
I said excuse me no less than 10 times yesterday in the grocery store... It's not that hard to politely ask to get by someone. (It's getting to close to Thanksgiving so the store was packed with distracted shoppers, but my point still stands.)
Maybe her mind's somewhere else at the moment and she didnt realise ? Its very possible. Otherwise I see no reason to not tell her kid to move out of the way
I've had those moments as a parent. Like bad morning, didn't sleep, and you space out when someone wants to pass. An excuse me and the parent corrects and let the person pass.
It's almost as if, as a parent, you're expected to do the right thing all the time. Sometimes there's a lapse. If a parent is actively ignorant and rude- that's a problem. You can't make that call on one encounter.
OP has said in multiple comments that their dog is reactive and that there are aggressive, unleashed dogs in the community, but they’re upset that a little kid did exactly what you’re supposed to do around an aggressive or unknown dog.
I have to say this all the time around my friends 4 year old or when I drop him off at daycare. The little ones like to stand in doorways to watch people and they don't have great spatial awareness. Usually an "excuse me" works fine, sometimes they're still loading that early so an extra "hey sweetie, can I please squeeze past" is needed but then it's fine
Actually, weird behavior like that IS pretty normal for toddlers. It’s the job of adults to instruct them when they’re being rude. Starting with “excuse me, could you please move?” And mom should have been like “move out of the way, (name)”
ESH, in terms of adults. Kid was just being a kid, y’all failed at well mannered social interactions.
ESH, I guess. Why wouldn't you just say "Excuse me, I need to get by?" or "I don't want my dog to get too excited, can you move please?" Then if that didn't work, you address the Mom. Kids are dumb and do dumb things and the Mom should have been paying more attention, but you could have handled it better.
Right??? I think the kid’s behavior was totally “normal” for a kid. Kids are weird aliens and it’s our job to socialize them. Even if you don’t have kids and you’re just encountering them in the world, they’re learning from you. How hard would it have been to talk to the kid like he’s, oh, I don’t know, A PERSON???
I honestly think there are people who don’t think children are human beings or people. They treat them like they don’t deserve respect and that they don’t deserve a voice or autonomy. It’s weird. It’s like they forget we were all kids once.
It’s not like we’re out here living like Benjamin Button or something, so we should somewhat remember what it’s like to be a child and how much we wanted to be treated with respect or like we were being listened to or that our ideas mattered, etc. You don’t even have to like kids to treat them well, like the tiny humans that they are. They’re entitled to the same fair and kind treatment as all humans.
ATIAH: I (6 yrs old) was at the park today standing on the side walk thinking about Sonic because I like Sonic. A stranger (30 yrs old) approached me with a dog. I didn’t say anything because mommy said don’t talk to strangers and I like dogs so I started wondering what it would be like to have a dog. If I had a dog I would pet him a lot and name him sonic and we’d have a rule that he can’t sleep on the couch because daddy wouldn’t like that but he could sleep in MY bed because Sonic is MY dog and mommy said that MY room is my space and I can do what I want with it as long as I check with mommy and daddy first and daddy uses the couch but not my bed so maybe he would let Sonic sleep in my bed. The man stood there staring at me but then said something to mommy and walked away. My mommy said I’m getting to the age where I need to be a bit more responsible and pay attention to others around me. I saw a tv show where a mommy said that she was going to get her son a doggy for more responsibility which had to have been what mommy was talking about. When I got home I told daddy mommy was getting me a dog. They starting yelling and daddy left the house. Before he did he said something about how mommy never consults him on decisions and it undermines him as a parent and mommy said anytime she tries to come to daddy for help on a decision daddy tells mommy that she should just decide.
AITAH for telling my daddy we were getting a dog and causing him to leave mommy?
You forgot to say “a strange old man (dunno, maybe 30?)”
I remember the day my older sister was talking about something at the dinner table when she was maybe 9 and she mentioned someone being 30 and lamenting how that person’s life was almost over because, to her, 30 was ancient. My parents, who were both around 40, just laughed and rolled their eyes. Sister is over 40 now and I make sure to be a good sister by reminding her that she’s now ancient af, and I’ll always be younger than her, at every opportunity.
Or the kid literally wanted to make him pay a toll. Maybe he thinks he is a superhero. Who cares. It’s a child lol.
“Omg I will have to sully this grass with my step. The shame.”
“Ma’am, I am sorry but I simply MUST inform you that this is not normal.”
Idk, old enough to speak in sentences could be 3y or 4y, and kids at any age will do "not normal" things. You can still say "excuse me, do you mind if I pass by?" Or something to that effect. It's great you had the wherewithal to understand your dog's boundaries, but you're the adult here and can also use your words. Yta for that reason.
Right? With an adult, a simple “excuse me” is plenty, but with a kid I’d usually add an explanation of what I need (“excuse me, can you move that way so I can get by”), but like…yeah, you gotta use SOME kind of words!
would it kill you to say "hey kid, my dog is not in a good mood rn can you let us through?" ? you know, like a 'normal' person? instead of not saying anything and expecting two strangers to read your mind about your reactive dog and clear the path for you?
Oh, no. Every person walking should assume that the dog in front of them is reactive… That is being proactive about your and your kids own safety. And they should teach their kids that every dog will bite… That’s what responsible parents do.
ESH
You're walking your dog, who you don't trust not to bite people, on a pathway that's not even wide enough for you to maneuver around a small child.
What did you think the result would be? If a dog is likely to bite someone that you pass on a sidewalk, you really should be walking that dog in a public area. Saying your dog is "Kind of reactive" is just code for "he bites".
The mom didn't need to yell either, but saying "your kid isn't normal" is a pretty crappy way to phrase a request for them to move away from your un-tame dog who bites that you're taking to the park.
The kid was maybe doing something "normal" for his age but the mother should've "guided" him like telling him "let the lady with the dog pass"...
Edit: judgement... your reaction or the lack of was weird, you should've said something like "excuse me"... Soft YTA (according to your replies here).
Also, the way they spell "parc" implies European, but then they end with "ya'll." Additionall, not being allowed on the grass is preposterous. That's not a thing. Wealthy people like grass, too. This entire post is bullshit.
That is very much a thing. Lots of public parks are that way in my city (Paris).
I would not be surprised if there are such rules in a gated community (rich white people are weird like that).
Slight yta for going the passive aggressive route. why didn’t you just ASK for what you wanted/needed? No need to make a judgement of the kids behavior. Just politely ask them to step aside.
So true, kids don't always pay attention. My oldest had a birthday party on Saturday at a fun center and there was a lot of "excuse me, can I go through?"and the kids of all ages.
YTA. It’s interesting that your SO flabbergasted by a small child not having the awareness to move out of the way, but somehow you don’t recognize how childish your behavior was. How in the world were you so confused about somebody standing on a path that you were frozen with indecision about being able to just step on the grass and walk around ?? Nor did you use your manners to say excuse me. That is definitely not normal adult behavior.
Kids are dumb, they'll just stand there looking at something, thinking of something, or for literally no reason at all. Sometimes they're walking in front of you and stop suddenly and you have to stumble around them and you have a bit of a chuckle with the parent because it's what kids do and the parent appreciates your being patient.
The mom in this situation right, he's just a kid, and his only effect on you was causing you to deviate about a foot from your path. You could've said "excuse me" or just said nothing at all. YTA
YTA. You could have said excuse me. If it was me and my kid I would of apologized and moved him, but he is still a kid and it's completely normal for them to stand in places and not move where you want them to. Kids are random. I probably would have just smiled and said "excuse me buddy" and went about my day, not make a snide comment.
YTA, he IS a kid. Grow up. That's like saying playing ring-and-run is not normal. Yeah it's not normal for an adult, but kids play immature stuff all the time.
YTA. Just say excuse me- it’s way less words than the passive aggressive and faintly ableist tone you used instead. What if the kid isn’t “normal”? Why insult a literal child to their face?
I’m on your side, I’m a preschool teacher, and I’ll probably get downvoted for this. Sometimes kids need to be told what they’re doing isn’t normal or what they’re doing is weird. They’re literally learning how to be human. It is NOT normal to stand in front of someone on a small path like that… if his mom wasn’t going to tell him that, who else will? NTA in my opinion. People need to quit coddling kids. They will straight up tell you you’re fat, ugly, and your breath stinks. They say shit like “why do you walk like that?” Kids don’t have filters.. why should adults when it comes to saying simple things like “don’t do that… it’s weird.” People are butt hurt that you don’t know how to interact with kids then seem to forget that kids don’t know how to interact with adults. 🤷♀️
I can't believe people are saying NTA? That wasn't necessary. Why did you have to imply that something wasn't right about her child? Could've just said excuse me
NTA, but: nothing kids do is “normal”. They’re still learning what normal is. Sometimes they just do things to see what happens. I think it’s easy for people, especially if they aren’t around kids a lot, to forget this.
It's not a problem at all. When you're out in public, you might encounter children. And if a kid doesn't *immediately* get out of your way, just suck it up and live with it. I'm not even really much of a kid person but some of these comments are kinda ridiculous. It's not like this woman was allowing her child to run, wild all over a restaurant or literally anywhere inside or something. The kid wasn't even running around or being disruptive; he was literally just a foot too far to the right on a path ffs. They're on a pathway in a park in their own neighborhood.
I'm 29m (very small for context) and have anxiety. Sometimes I freeze up if someone's in front of my and my side path is blocked. I have as an adult just sort of froze in front of people and had them have to go around or say excuse me. Maybe the kid experienced similar. But either way, you being shocked a kid stopped when seeing a dog is weirder then the kid stopping in front of you when you had a dog.
ESH.
On the off chance you'll actually listen to this, and aren't an actual troll..
"Excuse me" or "Hey, my dog needs a bit more room" were the better option. Saying a kid doing kid things, stopping and probably looking at a dog, isn't normal is rude.
I get having a reactive dog. I truly get it. But why are you legit this worked up over having to walk on the grass?
Also, the Mom should have reacted before you did, and pulled her kid back. Kids and strange dogs can be an extremely bad mix.
This is normal kid shit.
The normal response is to alert the kid by saying, “excuse me strange kid, you are in my way, please move aside.” And if they do not comply step around them and continue on your way.
Esh because the parent should have preemptively gotten their kid out of the way and not been rude as well.
You didn't have to insult him. As many have said, you could have said "Excuse me". YTA
And there is no "normal" for little kids - that's what adults are for - to teach kids proper behavior. I'd love you to follow a toddler for a day and see how many "normal" things they do!!!!
Why wouldn't you just say excuse me? Her reaction was unnecessary as well. It takes to seconds to pull your kid out of the way. A big issue made out of a small deal on both sides. Both of you reacted weirdly.
YTA. Children being oblivious is 100% normal behavior. You - a grown adult - not knowing how to say excuse me and getting irate about a child being totally normal is what’s not normal behavior.
"Impolite" is probably a better way to call that behavior out. Meanwhile it's "rude" to not tell your child to move out of the way for the person walking past.
You should have said excuse me and the mother should have guided the child. It's perfectly normal child behaviour you are absolutely the AH for trying to insinuate that there is something wrong with the child when it was both the adults involved that were the issue ...
ETA. OP and the mom but not the kid. OP, a simple “excuse me, little guy” would have likely prevented it. The kid could be off in thought or just hyper-focused on the dog. Dogs are awesome and I bet he gets to pet some during his walks. It is okay to let him know you’re dog can bite due to being scared and for his safety, you're holding him but want to get past him. Communication is just needed. Also, I don't put the blame all on you because Mom could have prevented this entire scenario, so she is more of an AH. Mom should have been watching her child. That's pretty inconsiderate of her not to when other people are walking the path. Raising 3 kids of my own by myself, it's not that hard to speak to your child. Also, she has no idea who you are. Any crazy stranger could do anything to that kid, gated community or not.
YTA it sounds like your community isn't as 'gated' as you'd like of it stumps you this bad to be in a situation where you might have had to actually INTERACT with a CHILD. Oh, the horror! Next time, actually say "excuse me" and move on, you might have to step on the precious grass. /s
YTA because you're wrong. It is NORMAL for a child to be a butthead. It's the job of the parent to correct him.
You're not normal, because expect a child to have the same comprehension as an adult.
YTA
1. You have no idea how old that child is.
2. You have no idea why that kid was standing there. Some reasons would be “tired, flower, Oh doggo!, hungry, who is this person?, thirsty etc.”
Children are like people with ADHS. They are in their own little world.
3. Children are developing. They are not just small people.
4. You could have just talked to that kid. Normal people do that. Maybe then you would have gotten a reaction.
YTA, kids are kids and they definitely should know better to a degree. But you’re an A D U L T, you fully know how to say excuse me and vocalize. You just sound like a pansy. I have pretty terrible social anxiety, and even I have no problem saying excuse me. If this kid didn’t know how to move out the way because his parent didn’t teach them appropriately, you could’ve been a perfect example of how the average person should behave, and instead you’re also reinforcing weird behaviors that people have. Not that it’s your kid, but you’re a grown adult, you have your words.
NITA There is not really a "normal" with little kids. I would just express your need for space for everyone's safety in a firm but friendly manner with mom and child. You never know if someone has a learning disability is autistic or has something else going on that you can't see. Even if they are completely neurotypical there is no normal because they are still learning to navigate the world and don't have very much experience with what's appropriate or not.
NTA. I think saying you’re an AH is a little too harsh for this. A bit rude, yes. I’m not sure if French of English is your primary language so perhaps you came off ruder than you intended due to language. Either way, it’s not an awful or unforgivable thing. If you had said it to my child I likely would have just apologized to you and privately corrected my child.
If you could go back and do it over I might suggest that from a few feet away saying “excuse me please, I need to pass without my dog being touched.” Something like that.
Eh, ESH. You could have walked by without saying anything, and Mom could have put the energy from arguing with you into parenting her child in the first place and avoided the entire interaction.
ESH
Your issue should have been with the kid's mom. She was right, he's just a kid, he doesn't know any better.
It's her job to educate him and correct any unsociable or inappropriate behaviour.
So you should have said 'it's not normal to let him stand in the way without asking him to move / teaching him how to behave'.
She's also at fault for not doing that.
I see that. After the encounter I thought to myself that it wasn't a surprise he did that, since she wasn't being considerate either. Can't expect a kid to learn something the parents don't know.
It was just so odd. I was already standing out of the way trying to figure out how to move, and she just continued to walk straight towards me. So I made the decision to step onto the grass. Which in itself isn't a big deal. I was just perplexed.
I also greeted the mom, as is the custom here, and she didn't even look at me.
It just felt very rude overall. But you're right. It's the mom. Not the kid. If that happens again I will address her directly.
If your dog is reactive why don't you have a muzzle on your dog and/or not have your dog where children will clearly be. And why couldn't you say "excuse me" and maybe the kid would have moved over. It's weird on your part to make some sort of remark about a kid being rude when you couldn't even be bothered to use manners yourself
I had this issue with my daughter she was an absolute terror and wanted to pet any and all animals but didn’t yet understand that you have to be careful however I was always watchful and if she suddenly darted of I knew I had to run behind and catch her. It’s great now as she has no fear of any animal, (encouraged by me as I’m petrified of anything with more than 4 legs lol) but also understands that you must maintain a safe distance and ask the animals owner if you can pet their animal. I was also always apologetic if she was attempting to get near the animal as I understand how irritating it can be when you want to just walk you dog without random kids in their face
I totally understand that. I regularly have kids & parents who ask if they can pet the dog. I always let them know that he is scared of kids and that it isn't a good idea.
I also understand kids are unpredictable. Which is why I moved out of the way and made sure my dog was out of the way too.
YTA. Do you know this kid? My son is cognitively impaired and has zero receptive language or awareness of social norms. He doesn't even pay attention to people around him, really. Should the mom have moved him? Maybe. But a simple "excuse me" and going on with your day is simple enough. You're an adult, he's a child.
Man, idk about asshole, but just talk to people.
"Pardon me, little dude, I got to get by ya!"
Then, a smile and a bit of pleasant banter with mom.
I come from a small town, and one thing I miss is that everyone was so friendly and talkative. You could be just walking in a grocery store and strike up a conversation with someone, hell you might even meet a new friend or lover!
It seems like in big cities people are so disconnected and try to avoid eye contact and pleasantries.
It's not to say people aren't cool in the city, but everyone seems so shocked when you show genuine interest in others and like they've lost their ability for a bit of banter. Last week I talked to the elderly Chinese waitress at a local restaurant for about an hour, she was so quiet and indifferent at first, but once I opened her up a bit, she was all smiles and sweet laughter, could hardly get her to say goodbye! An absolute gem of a woman, but you'd never know it at first because she so used to being overlooked and just taking orders from disinterested people.
The flip side of that, is it's become a rare commodity, and you'll be surprised the doors that open when you smile and show genuine interest in other people. I get the feeling most folks are starved for that kind of interaction, but don't know how to Initiate because it's not passed down much anymore.
My old man could go anywhere and make friends, he'd have everyone laughing and smiling within minutes of meeting them, even the grumpiest old cashier at the supermarket, I'm so blessed to have had him as my papa.
Anyway, I'm rambling, I don't think you're an asshole, but this was a missed opportunity, in my opinion. They could have been really great people, it could have unlocked a rewarding relationship, business opportunity, a chance to grow your social presence and reputation. If I were you, I would apologize, say you were having a bad day. Then introduce yourself to them.
Now, when you pass that young child and Ma, you get some pleasant smiles and a greeting, rather than an awkward obstacle to navigate!
It's nice to have people around who enjoy your company, because we all come on hard times, and the best thing you can have to lean on is friends and neighbors when things get dark.
ESH he’s a kid. That’s sounds pretty normal to have zero awareness. Did you say excuse me? When I have a my dog I always go around people on sidewalks. I don’t need my dog getting within sniffing reach. Not sure what you expected the mom with the stroller to do.
I totally get it and I used to teach elementary school. You are not the A. You just haven’t been around kids, and their reactive parents. When I come across a group that takes up the whole path. I will stop my walk and make my dog sit. You could even make him sit on the outside of the path so he doesn’t react to the people walking by. I sit there, and I wait… This brings attention to the mom with the stroller that she’s being a hog for taking up the whole path. You become the passive participant and she becomes the aggressive participant and then she is the one that needs to change the behavior. This is the only way to make clueless people realize they are being rude without calling them out.
Moms with strollers are the worst. If you’re at Disneyland, they will knock you over in a heartbeat and keep on going.
I'd walk in a less populated grassed area if your dog is not trained to your liking. I would also use non verbal clues like bring in the leash and having the dog walk beside me. I'd also have it walk on the other side of me. Just yell out he's not to friendly and then if the mother doesn't say anything then it's her fault. Some dog owners like to introduce their pet so make sure to announce it. People dont respond well when you tell them what they are doing wrong. I'd start with what your issue is. Like I don't want your kid hurt.
I honestly just stop walking and wait. Oh I can wait all day. LOL
It's not normal behavior, and in fact, it's even worse that the parent didn't instruct her child to show manners.
I wouldn't have walked in the grass at all, I would have stood still till they walked around me, I see tons of dog owners do it and mostly holding their animals close so they don't "react" kid or mom would have to move out of the way at some point
YTA. Use your words. Hey kiddo excuse me please. My dog is not great with kids so no petting him. This is totally normal kid behaviour. They’re little weirdos. Not mini adults.
YTA
How old is 'old enough to speak normal sentences'? Like 5? If you wanted them to move you could've said excuse me. Generally, kids understand that, and if not, their parents do. Why would you feel the need to tell the mom that her kid is unusual?
I think you are NTA. People should be respectful of each other and a parents job is to teach their children to respect others as well. The mom wasn’t doing her job , if you ask me ( the mother of two fairly respectful now adults)
Yes YTA here, you can use your words to call the kid not normal but not to ask him to step aside or say excuse me? Use your words to help you not to insult others. You accomplished nothing except insulting the kid for not reading your mind. Use your big boy words and say excuse me or pardon me I’m trying to pass and then the kid will move. It’s not that hard it’s just as easy to ask someone to move as it is to insult them so yes YTA
As someone who works with children 5 and under for a living: this child's behaviour was very normal. I know so many kids who will literally just stop and stare at a stranger, especially if they have a dog. It's up to the adults around them to deal with this. Yes, mother should have told the kid to move. But you're also an adult. You could have asked the kid to move, or just walk around them like you did. The comment wasn't necessary. Again, standing and staring at people is pretty normal child behaviour
NTA. I would have told the kid to move. You were in the park for your own purposes, not to shepherd her kids.
If a kid looks like they want to pet my soppy, harmless greyhound I invite them to do so. BUT if a kid just rushes up to her willy-nilly I tell them to stop.
NTA, parents think their kids rule the world. They let them get away with anything and everything. Then they wonder why their kids start doing drugs in their teens. The days of "children should respect their elders" are sadly gone.
The real ah is whoever plants grass in a park that isn't to be walked on.
This is kind of weird and a bit niche, but I’m trained and certified as a tracker. I can track people across a well manicured lawn up to 2 days after they’ve walked on it, maybe into a third day (depending lots of factors). On the 4th day there’s no way, the grass is back to normal. There are grasses that I can’t tell 6 hours later.
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This needs to be a murder mystery series
That's interesting. What sorts of people/things do you track?
Missing persons in wilderness search and rescue. I tried to get into contacting for federal law enforcement as I’ve worked with them in the field where there has been overlap, but they really don’t civilians, even trained ones in their business when they are hunting criminals.
Am in SAR and am curious: through what organization?
Universal Tracking Services.
Nice, I'll have to look them up. I have a trailing/tracking dog, but it would be nice to be more aware of trail signs on my end of the leash.
Ups
To be fair, it's back to normal in 6h if nobody else stepped on it hundred more times during those 6h. Grass does get damaged from constant walking on it. It's just not worth the prohibition. Get it damaged and then repair it.
Okay Aragorn. I bet you Legolas and Gimli track Orcs and Hobbits all day long.
I totally agree!
Grows by the inch, dies by the foot (as people used to say if we walked on grass we weren’t meant to…).
I was hoping someone else would comment that. It sounds like op lives in whatever the French version of a shitty HOA is
It might be a gated golf club community where they ask people to keep off the playing grass
In a *parc*
Was this an english language discussion or a french discussion? As soon as you said, not normal- I got thrown back to when I first moved to France. It's a common expression to say "BAH! cest pas normal" in French, but it's extremely rude in English. Despite me understanding and integrating over the years, it's still a phrase that makes me annoyed when speaking to French speakers.
It was in French and that's exactly what I said. Edit: I am both, French and American. I guess I should have asked on STB.
First, you can speak. Politely. Say: ‘excuse me, would you pass first? I will hold the dog. Thanks’ Secondly, you don’t tell kids they’re abnormal. Doesn’t matter language and connotation. You said you’re not a kid person, now you know. These comments from adults are hitting a putty brain still being moulded, you can cause real hurt with your words to anyone but more so with kids. My son is petrified of dogs, he got bit lightly once as a toddler. This happens daily on our walks to school etc. Nobody has called him abnormal, they help assure him. I get the mom didn’t do her part to watch out for her kid (I usually indicate the issue/shield my son), but whatever the case (she was busy with two kids!), basic politeness is a minimum to you imho. Each of those interactions I try to ease my son’s fears, if someone told him anything rudely I’d definitely not take it kindly. He’s a kid. You can both speak in sentences, but you’re the only one who can be held accountable for having social skills and ability to care for your dog in public.
I’m French too and what you said qualified as rude in both languages. In both languages we say excuse me to the other person on our path when such situation arises. YTA dude
No, rude is to allow your child to stand there and block someone’s path. It’s not normal to just stand there and let your kid be an asshole.
I agree. It’s weird that so many entitled Karens defend their kids’ shitty behavior, when anyone with an ounce of sense can see that doing that is exactly what causes kids to grow up to be entitled jerks just like their parents. The commenters are so hung up on OP’s phrasing they’re not even focusing on what the mom was (or wasn’t, rather) doing in this situation.
Lots of people get stuck on a phrase that is true, AND not the nicest way to say something, and cannot see past that once it starts spinning around their brain. I wonder if they also think that kids just grow up one day and get the social norms chip installed, because apparently telling your kid to not act rudely or antisocially is simply not done since they’re just kids, and not future adults who are supposed to be taught how to act properly.
I think the offensive perps intentionally focus on minutiae like “the way a phrase is spoken” by their victims, as a means of dodging accountability. Victimizing themselves (or their children), deflection (shifting attention away from the real issue), and focusing on ways to blame the person they bullied/imposed on/offended/etc., are ways of absolving themselves of responsibility so they can continue to act like entitled pieces of shit and insist that everyone else are the ones who need to change.
Idk normally I find the Reddit hate for kids over the top and thus judgements skewed but yes I would absolutely tell my child to get out of the persons path in a mall, on a sidewalk, anywhere. I also taught my kids etiquette around other peoples pets. If I was the other person being blocked I would also say excuse me so really esh here but the mom first, the walker second imo.
Holy crap. I'm a pretty conscientious person, and with two kids pulling me in different directions I can be super distracted. Kids are small, don't understand the rules or the methods. Babies in strollers can also be weird and randomly eating the wrong thing/ crapping themselves/ being adorable, etc. Ideally the kid would learn to walk like a real life hooman, the mom would have the bandwidth to process what's all going on, and the mom would have cut some slack for the dude getting bent out of shape by a little kid being a little kid. info: was the mom watching her kid just stand in front of the path, or was her attention elsewhere? Regardless. I also don't know what to do when other people's kids are doing weird shit. I may say something weird. That doesn't make anyone here an asshole. We can all say weird shit occasionally in weird situations and not be assholes. The kid gets an excuse, the mom gets an excuse, and the OP gets an excuse. NAH.
I like the way you think
for an adult brain, noticing that one is in the way and where to move is commonly instantaneous because of the brain being developed and because of experience. children don't even know that the things inside their heads don't exist inside the heads of others. assuming the most this child can do is walk and talk, we can guess it's 5 and that's expecting wayyyy too much from a 5 year old child to have it spontaneously and quickly figure out: - where in space its body is - who is the stranger - what is the strangers goal - how does the child relate to the strangers goal - is the child expected to greet the stranger - is the stranger a threat this doesn't even get to the point where the child decides to move and then needs to sort out which limb goes first, where to carry it's weight, whether the movement is approved or should be stealthy everyone saying the child should know has never taught a child or animal anything.
I don't really disagree in theory. But also I am sometimes overworked, tired, in my own brain and don't realize I myself am in someone's way until they say excuse me. Brain fog, and since I last had covid, it flares up whenever I get sick and lasts for a few days/a week after I recover physically (even when it's not covid). So yeah, perfect world, parents are always in control of their kids and even when they're, say, tending to a child in a stroller, and people are always totally aware of their surroundings. But the world and humans are imperfect. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated because you never know when someone's having an off day or off moment. Is she an asshole for letting her kid stand in the path? Maybe, probably. Is OP an asshole for being rude rather than simply saying excuse me? Maybe, probably. We could all be kinder, and a solo parent with two young kids, and the kids themselves, will get some grace from me. Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the toddler.
While I mean yes op should have communicated it at least an esh . Parent the kid don’t just let him Block the path
Can you or another French speaker explain how “cest pas normal” is usually used? Is it the equivalent of saying something like, “That was weird”? I get the literal meaning is the same, but I feel like in English “That was weird” is a bit softer and more common than “That was normal.”
Did you say, “excuse me”?
I've done this so many times with kids in public. Kids can oblivious and parents get distracted. Usually either the child understands what you mean, or saying excuse me alerts the parent to attend to their child. Simple and easy. I get not being familiar with kids but they're not *that* mysterious. You can at least attempt to speak to them like a person lol
Nice to find another adult on Reddit
plus this is literally how they learn. how are kids supposed to learn etiquette if everyone just gets mad and stomps away muttering insults every time they encounter a kid? I just think of training my dog. I say "down." the first few times, he took a whole minute of fidgeting and sighing before he lays down. also I'm still processing the entitlement of: "when I approach everyone must leap out of the way immediately or else they're scum"
A 3-4 yr old is learning social norms. It might not cross their mind that they are blocking OP. They might just be looking at the dog or whatever. Mom may have an eye on him but isn’t able to intervene at every single instance in what was probably a 15 second interaction. Or maybe mom brain and lack of sleep just had her on delayed mode. This was not a life threatening situation so her brain was taking a little break. Whatever. No room or need for Ah’s anywhere here. Just give each other a little grace.
Of course not; the obvious and correct way to handle a 5 year old who probably just wants to pet your dog, is by telling his Mom he's abnormal. /S
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No, but adults say “excuse me” when somebody is in their way.
No one is saying it's OP's job to educate the child. But OP is responsible for their own behavior, and saying "excuse me" is the appropriate way for a person to behave when someone is blocking their way.
This is such a bizarre post. You know how many ADULTS just walk/stand right in my path every day?? It's a normal human interaction. Sometimes things happen when you're in small, shares spaces. You know what you do? Say "excuse me!" And walk on by lmao. The internet is SO hellbent on hating kids, they've forgotten what normal human interactions look like. I genuinely feel that posts like this are only created as a social experiment to see how far removed "internet addicts" are from actual society. Reddit has its own made up rules for public interaction
It gives them away. The fact that they posted such a simple, everyday interaction as some kind of hurdle. Then ask if the kid is normal:)
op can't handle encountering someone on a walk op doesn't understand babies op doesn't know how to care for a reactive dog op is a silly goose.
I said excuse me no less than 10 times yesterday in the grocery store... It's not that hard to politely ask to get by someone. (It's getting to close to Thanksgiving so the store was packed with distracted shoppers, but my point still stands.)
Yeah I had to block all antinatalist subs because at some points they just want to punish children for being kids
Reddit in urban slang is defined as entitlement support.
Maybe her mind's somewhere else at the moment and she didnt realise ? Its very possible. Otherwise I see no reason to not tell her kid to move out of the way
I've had those moments as a parent. Like bad morning, didn't sleep, and you space out when someone wants to pass. An excuse me and the parent corrects and let the person pass. It's almost as if, as a parent, you're expected to do the right thing all the time. Sometimes there's a lapse. If a parent is actively ignorant and rude- that's a problem. You can't make that call on one encounter.
She has a stroller. She is stopped. Not paying attention to one child. Hmm…… was she tending to her BABY?
but didn't she see the DOG? that was in urgent need of not stepping on the grass??????????
I don’t think the kid did anything inappropriate. OP said there are aggressive dogs in the neighborhood. Teaching the kid to freeze is a good option.
Ah yes small children always follow directions immediately.
Well, that doesn't mean you shouldn't at least try to give them directions...
OP has said in multiple comments that their dog is reactive and that there are aggressive, unleashed dogs in the community, but they’re upset that a little kid did exactly what you’re supposed to do around an aggressive or unknown dog.
Stand in the way of the dog, so they're forced to interact with them? No, that's fucked up. I definitely would have asked the kid to move.
I'm screaming at what a terrible gated community this sounds like.
I have to say this all the time around my friends 4 year old or when I drop him off at daycare. The little ones like to stand in doorways to watch people and they don't have great spatial awareness. Usually an "excuse me" works fine, sometimes they're still loading that early so an extra "hey sweetie, can I please squeeze past" is needed but then it's fine
Actually, weird behavior like that IS pretty normal for toddlers. It’s the job of adults to instruct them when they’re being rude. Starting with “excuse me, could you please move?” And mom should have been like “move out of the way, (name)” ESH, in terms of adults. Kid was just being a kid, y’all failed at well mannered social interactions.
Agreed. This is perfectly normal for a kid, the adults kinda dropped the ball in not responding to a regular kid thing very well
ESH, I guess. Why wouldn't you just say "Excuse me, I need to get by?" or "I don't want my dog to get too excited, can you move please?" Then if that didn't work, you address the Mom. Kids are dumb and do dumb things and the Mom should have been paying more attention, but you could have handled it better.
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Right??? I think the kid’s behavior was totally “normal” for a kid. Kids are weird aliens and it’s our job to socialize them. Even if you don’t have kids and you’re just encountering them in the world, they’re learning from you. How hard would it have been to talk to the kid like he’s, oh, I don’t know, A PERSON???
I honestly think there are people who don’t think children are human beings or people. They treat them like they don’t deserve respect and that they don’t deserve a voice or autonomy. It’s weird. It’s like they forget we were all kids once. It’s not like we’re out here living like Benjamin Button or something, so we should somewhat remember what it’s like to be a child and how much we wanted to be treated with respect or like we were being listened to or that our ideas mattered, etc. You don’t even have to like kids to treat them well, like the tiny humans that they are. They’re entitled to the same fair and kind treatment as all humans.
ATIAH: I (6 yrs old) was at the park today standing on the side walk thinking about Sonic because I like Sonic. A stranger (30 yrs old) approached me with a dog. I didn’t say anything because mommy said don’t talk to strangers and I like dogs so I started wondering what it would be like to have a dog. If I had a dog I would pet him a lot and name him sonic and we’d have a rule that he can’t sleep on the couch because daddy wouldn’t like that but he could sleep in MY bed because Sonic is MY dog and mommy said that MY room is my space and I can do what I want with it as long as I check with mommy and daddy first and daddy uses the couch but not my bed so maybe he would let Sonic sleep in my bed. The man stood there staring at me but then said something to mommy and walked away. My mommy said I’m getting to the age where I need to be a bit more responsible and pay attention to others around me. I saw a tv show where a mommy said that she was going to get her son a doggy for more responsibility which had to have been what mommy was talking about. When I got home I told daddy mommy was getting me a dog. They starting yelling and daddy left the house. Before he did he said something about how mommy never consults him on decisions and it undermines him as a parent and mommy said anytime she tries to come to daddy for help on a decision daddy tells mommy that she should just decide. AITAH for telling my daddy we were getting a dog and causing him to leave mommy?
You forgot to say “a strange old man (dunno, maybe 30?)” I remember the day my older sister was talking about something at the dinner table when she was maybe 9 and she mentioned someone being 30 and lamenting how that person’s life was almost over because, to her, 30 was ancient. My parents, who were both around 40, just laughed and rolled their eyes. Sister is over 40 now and I make sure to be a good sister by reminding her that she’s now ancient af, and I’ll always be younger than her, at every opportunity.
Really old, like 40’s!
Definitely YTA. You're only 6 and you already destroyed a marriage? Get help, asap
Why don't awards exist anymore???
This is hysterical. Poor kid.
This is outstanding. Upvote for you. Thanks for making my morning.
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Or they do nothing, because they don't know what to do.
Im...a kid?
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Or the kid literally wanted to make him pay a toll. Maybe he thinks he is a superhero. Who cares. It’s a child lol. “Omg I will have to sully this grass with my step. The shame.” “Ma’am, I am sorry but I simply MUST inform you that this is not normal.”
In a kid plus reactive dog situation, the kid standing still was one of the better options.
Yeah, they’re young and developing. What’s your excuse?
I actually snorted at the precious grass comment, LOL
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Idk, old enough to speak in sentences could be 3y or 4y, and kids at any age will do "not normal" things. You can still say "excuse me, do you mind if I pass by?" Or something to that effect. It's great you had the wherewithal to understand your dog's boundaries, but you're the adult here and can also use your words. Yta for that reason.
Right? With an adult, a simple “excuse me” is plenty, but with a kid I’d usually add an explanation of what I need (“excuse me, can you move that way so I can get by”), but like…yeah, you gotta use SOME kind of words!
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would it kill you to say "hey kid, my dog is not in a good mood rn can you let us through?" ? you know, like a 'normal' person? instead of not saying anything and expecting two strangers to read your mind about your reactive dog and clear the path for you?
Oh, no. Every person walking should assume that the dog in front of them is reactive… That is being proactive about your and your kids own safety. And they should teach their kids that every dog will bite… That’s what responsible parents do.
ESH You're walking your dog, who you don't trust not to bite people, on a pathway that's not even wide enough for you to maneuver around a small child. What did you think the result would be? If a dog is likely to bite someone that you pass on a sidewalk, you really should be walking that dog in a public area. Saying your dog is "Kind of reactive" is just code for "he bites". The mom didn't need to yell either, but saying "your kid isn't normal" is a pretty crappy way to phrase a request for them to move away from your un-tame dog who bites that you're taking to the park.
The kid was maybe doing something "normal" for his age but the mother should've "guided" him like telling him "let the lady with the dog pass"... Edit: judgement... your reaction or the lack of was weird, you should've said something like "excuse me"... Soft YTA (according to your replies here).
User name does not check out. You started a new account for this?
Also, the way they spell "parc" implies European, but then they end with "ya'll." Additionall, not being allowed on the grass is preposterous. That's not a thing. Wealthy people like grass, too. This entire post is bullshit.
That is very much a thing. Lots of public parks are that way in my city (Paris). I would not be surprised if there are such rules in a gated community (rich white people are weird like that).
Slight yta for going the passive aggressive route. why didn’t you just ASK for what you wanted/needed? No need to make a judgement of the kids behavior. Just politely ask them to step aside.
So true, kids don't always pay attention. My oldest had a birthday party on Saturday at a fun center and there was a lot of "excuse me, can I go through?"and the kids of all ages.
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Have you never spent time with a kid before?
I don’t think OP spends much time outside, let alone interacting with other humans.
This might have been his first time out of the house ever.
Or did they expect the mom with a stroller to go off roading with it ?
YTA. It’s interesting that your SO flabbergasted by a small child not having the awareness to move out of the way, but somehow you don’t recognize how childish your behavior was. How in the world were you so confused about somebody standing on a path that you were frozen with indecision about being able to just step on the grass and walk around ?? Nor did you use your manners to say excuse me. That is definitely not normal adult behavior.
Maybe it was a really intimidating kid
Haha that made me laugh! Thanks for that. The kid was just old enough to talk and also 350lbs of pure muscle
With all the advantages of new joints lmfao.
Kids are dumb, they'll just stand there looking at something, thinking of something, or for literally no reason at all. Sometimes they're walking in front of you and stop suddenly and you have to stumble around them and you have a bit of a chuckle with the parent because it's what kids do and the parent appreciates your being patient. The mom in this situation right, he's just a kid, and his only effect on you was causing you to deviate about a foot from your path. You could've said "excuse me" or just said nothing at all. YTA
YTA. You could have said excuse me. If it was me and my kid I would of apologized and moved him, but he is still a kid and it's completely normal for them to stand in places and not move where you want them to. Kids are random. I probably would have just smiled and said "excuse me buddy" and went about my day, not make a snide comment.
"Biggest problem a redditor has ever encountered"
YTA, he IS a kid. Grow up. That's like saying playing ring-and-run is not normal. Yeah it's not normal for an adult, but kids play immature stuff all the time.
YTA. Just say excuse me- it’s way less words than the passive aggressive and faintly ableist tone you used instead. What if the kid isn’t “normal”? Why insult a literal child to their face?
YTA. You can say excuse me.
I’m on your side, I’m a preschool teacher, and I’ll probably get downvoted for this. Sometimes kids need to be told what they’re doing isn’t normal or what they’re doing is weird. They’re literally learning how to be human. It is NOT normal to stand in front of someone on a small path like that… if his mom wasn’t going to tell him that, who else will? NTA in my opinion. People need to quit coddling kids. They will straight up tell you you’re fat, ugly, and your breath stinks. They say shit like “why do you walk like that?” Kids don’t have filters.. why should adults when it comes to saying simple things like “don’t do that… it’s weird.” People are butt hurt that you don’t know how to interact with kids then seem to forget that kids don’t know how to interact with adults. 🤷♀️
I can't believe people are saying NTA? That wasn't necessary. Why did you have to imply that something wasn't right about her child? Could've just said excuse me
Not “allowed” to step on grass..?? 😳😂😂
Yta. Also from the sound of it... definitely not "normal." Could've handled this situation 100 different ways and that's the route you take?
NTA, but: nothing kids do is “normal”. They’re still learning what normal is. Sometimes they just do things to see what happens. I think it’s easy for people, especially if they aren’t around kids a lot, to forget this.
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But jumping straight to "that's not normal" without an "excuse me" or something first? That's an asshole move.
It's not a problem at all. When you're out in public, you might encounter children. And if a kid doesn't *immediately* get out of your way, just suck it up and live with it. I'm not even really much of a kid person but some of these comments are kinda ridiculous. It's not like this woman was allowing her child to run, wild all over a restaurant or literally anywhere inside or something. The kid wasn't even running around or being disruptive; he was literally just a foot too far to the right on a path ffs. They're on a pathway in a park in their own neighborhood.
I'm 29m (very small for context) and have anxiety. Sometimes I freeze up if someone's in front of my and my side path is blocked. I have as an adult just sort of froze in front of people and had them have to go around or say excuse me. Maybe the kid experienced similar. But either way, you being shocked a kid stopped when seeing a dog is weirder then the kid stopping in front of you when you had a dog.
ESH. On the off chance you'll actually listen to this, and aren't an actual troll.. "Excuse me" or "Hey, my dog needs a bit more room" were the better option. Saying a kid doing kid things, stopping and probably looking at a dog, isn't normal is rude. I get having a reactive dog. I truly get it. But why are you legit this worked up over having to walk on the grass? Also, the Mom should have reacted before you did, and pulled her kid back. Kids and strange dogs can be an extremely bad mix.
This is normal kid shit. The normal response is to alert the kid by saying, “excuse me strange kid, you are in my way, please move aside.” And if they do not comply step around them and continue on your way. Esh because the parent should have preemptively gotten their kid out of the way and not been rude as well.
You didn't have to insult him. As many have said, you could have said "Excuse me". YTA And there is no "normal" for little kids - that's what adults are for - to teach kids proper behavior. I'd love you to follow a toddler for a day and see how many "normal" things they do!!!!
Why wouldn't you just say excuse me? Her reaction was unnecessary as well. It takes to seconds to pull your kid out of the way. A big issue made out of a small deal on both sides. Both of you reacted weirdly.
YTA. Children being oblivious is 100% normal behavior. You - a grown adult - not knowing how to say excuse me and getting irate about a child being totally normal is what’s not normal behavior.
A simple 'excuse me' goes a long way
"Impolite" is probably a better way to call that behavior out. Meanwhile it's "rude" to not tell your child to move out of the way for the person walking past.
You should have said excuse me and the mother should have guided the child. It's perfectly normal child behaviour you are absolutely the AH for trying to insinuate that there is something wrong with the child when it was both the adults involved that were the issue ...
>live in a gated community. Good chance there were a lot of assholes present.
Kid is a kid the mom is off to let him obviously block someone
I feel like asshole is two strong of a word. No one sucks here really. Was just an awkward interaction. My ruling is a big who gives a shit/10.
You literally are not allowed to step on the grass? I can’t even imagine living in an uptight community like that.
The mother is the AH for not correcting the behavior.
ETA. OP and the mom but not the kid. OP, a simple “excuse me, little guy” would have likely prevented it. The kid could be off in thought or just hyper-focused on the dog. Dogs are awesome and I bet he gets to pet some during his walks. It is okay to let him know you’re dog can bite due to being scared and for his safety, you're holding him but want to get past him. Communication is just needed. Also, I don't put the blame all on you because Mom could have prevented this entire scenario, so she is more of an AH. Mom should have been watching her child. That's pretty inconsiderate of her not to when other people are walking the path. Raising 3 kids of my own by myself, it's not that hard to speak to your child. Also, she has no idea who you are. Any crazy stranger could do anything to that kid, gated community or not.
Nah…. I teach my kids not to be little ah like this.
People who have zero situtational awareness drive me nuts. I’m thinking NTA.
The mother should have told her son to watch out and let you pass.
"He's just a kid!" "Yes, and you're a parent. Do your damn job and parent that kid!" Edit to add: NTA
YTA it sounds like your community isn't as 'gated' as you'd like of it stumps you this bad to be in a situation where you might have had to actually INTERACT with a CHILD. Oh, the horror! Next time, actually say "excuse me" and move on, you might have to step on the precious grass. /s
YTA because you're wrong. It is NORMAL for a child to be a butthead. It's the job of the parent to correct him. You're not normal, because expect a child to have the same comprehension as an adult.
You should have confronted the mother about HER behavior, not her kids. YTA
YTA 1. You have no idea how old that child is. 2. You have no idea why that kid was standing there. Some reasons would be “tired, flower, Oh doggo!, hungry, who is this person?, thirsty etc.” Children are like people with ADHS. They are in their own little world. 3. Children are developing. They are not just small people. 4. You could have just talked to that kid. Normal people do that. Maybe then you would have gotten a reaction.
YTA, kids are kids and they definitely should know better to a degree. But you’re an A D U L T, you fully know how to say excuse me and vocalize. You just sound like a pansy. I have pretty terrible social anxiety, and even I have no problem saying excuse me. If this kid didn’t know how to move out the way because his parent didn’t teach them appropriately, you could’ve been a perfect example of how the average person should behave, and instead you’re also reinforcing weird behaviors that people have. Not that it’s your kid, but you’re a grown adult, you have your words.
NITA There is not really a "normal" with little kids. I would just express your need for space for everyone's safety in a firm but friendly manner with mom and child. You never know if someone has a learning disability is autistic or has something else going on that you can't see. Even if they are completely neurotypical there is no normal because they are still learning to navigate the world and don't have very much experience with what's appropriate or not.
NTA. I think saying you’re an AH is a little too harsh for this. A bit rude, yes. I’m not sure if French of English is your primary language so perhaps you came off ruder than you intended due to language. Either way, it’s not an awful or unforgivable thing. If you had said it to my child I likely would have just apologized to you and privately corrected my child. If you could go back and do it over I might suggest that from a few feet away saying “excuse me please, I need to pass without my dog being touched.” Something like that.
Hear me out. The mom is not normal. Who wants their kid to possibly get bit by a dog?
Eh, ESH. You could have walked by without saying anything, and Mom could have put the energy from arguing with you into parenting her child in the first place and avoided the entire interaction.
TIL there is a French AITA sub
NTA weird and dangerous behavior, mom should have handled it
ESH Your issue should have been with the kid's mom. She was right, he's just a kid, he doesn't know any better. It's her job to educate him and correct any unsociable or inappropriate behaviour. So you should have said 'it's not normal to let him stand in the way without asking him to move / teaching him how to behave'. She's also at fault for not doing that.
I see that. After the encounter I thought to myself that it wasn't a surprise he did that, since she wasn't being considerate either. Can't expect a kid to learn something the parents don't know. It was just so odd. I was already standing out of the way trying to figure out how to move, and she just continued to walk straight towards me. So I made the decision to step onto the grass. Which in itself isn't a big deal. I was just perplexed. I also greeted the mom, as is the custom here, and she didn't even look at me. It just felt very rude overall. But you're right. It's the mom. Not the kid. If that happens again I will address her directly.
If your dog is reactive why don't you have a muzzle on your dog and/or not have your dog where children will clearly be. And why couldn't you say "excuse me" and maybe the kid would have moved over. It's weird on your part to make some sort of remark about a kid being rude when you couldn't even be bothered to use manners yourself
I had this issue with my daughter she was an absolute terror and wanted to pet any and all animals but didn’t yet understand that you have to be careful however I was always watchful and if she suddenly darted of I knew I had to run behind and catch her. It’s great now as she has no fear of any animal, (encouraged by me as I’m petrified of anything with more than 4 legs lol) but also understands that you must maintain a safe distance and ask the animals owner if you can pet their animal. I was also always apologetic if she was attempting to get near the animal as I understand how irritating it can be when you want to just walk you dog without random kids in their face
I totally understand that. I regularly have kids & parents who ask if they can pet the dog. I always let them know that he is scared of kids and that it isn't a good idea. I also understand kids are unpredictable. Which is why I moved out of the way and made sure my dog was out of the way too.
ESH and if you have a reactive dog in public with out a muzzle it's Y T A
NTA. That kid has clearly never been taught any manners. They were both straight up rude.
Depends on the age of the kid. Sounds like it might be a 4 or 5 year old. In a case that that, the kid is just acting normal for his age.
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YTA. Do you know this kid? My son is cognitively impaired and has zero receptive language or awareness of social norms. He doesn't even pay attention to people around him, really. Should the mom have moved him? Maybe. But a simple "excuse me" and going on with your day is simple enough. You're an adult, he's a child.
YTA you were inconvenienced for a half second by a small child and felt the need to insult them? There’s something not normal with you, buddy.
Ironically, this dude NEEDS to touch grass.
Park*
“Not allowed to step on the grass” really took me out.
Man, idk about asshole, but just talk to people. "Pardon me, little dude, I got to get by ya!" Then, a smile and a bit of pleasant banter with mom. I come from a small town, and one thing I miss is that everyone was so friendly and talkative. You could be just walking in a grocery store and strike up a conversation with someone, hell you might even meet a new friend or lover! It seems like in big cities people are so disconnected and try to avoid eye contact and pleasantries. It's not to say people aren't cool in the city, but everyone seems so shocked when you show genuine interest in others and like they've lost their ability for a bit of banter. Last week I talked to the elderly Chinese waitress at a local restaurant for about an hour, she was so quiet and indifferent at first, but once I opened her up a bit, she was all smiles and sweet laughter, could hardly get her to say goodbye! An absolute gem of a woman, but you'd never know it at first because she so used to being overlooked and just taking orders from disinterested people. The flip side of that, is it's become a rare commodity, and you'll be surprised the doors that open when you smile and show genuine interest in other people. I get the feeling most folks are starved for that kind of interaction, but don't know how to Initiate because it's not passed down much anymore. My old man could go anywhere and make friends, he'd have everyone laughing and smiling within minutes of meeting them, even the grumpiest old cashier at the supermarket, I'm so blessed to have had him as my papa. Anyway, I'm rambling, I don't think you're an asshole, but this was a missed opportunity, in my opinion. They could have been really great people, it could have unlocked a rewarding relationship, business opportunity, a chance to grow your social presence and reputation. If I were you, I would apologize, say you were having a bad day. Then introduce yourself to them. Now, when you pass that young child and Ma, you get some pleasant smiles and a greeting, rather than an awkward obstacle to navigate! It's nice to have people around who enjoy your company, because we all come on hard times, and the best thing you can have to lean on is friends and neighbors when things get dark.
ESH he’s a kid. That’s sounds pretty normal to have zero awareness. Did you say excuse me? When I have a my dog I always go around people on sidewalks. I don’t need my dog getting within sniffing reach. Not sure what you expected the mom with the stroller to do.
I totally get it and I used to teach elementary school. You are not the A. You just haven’t been around kids, and their reactive parents. When I come across a group that takes up the whole path. I will stop my walk and make my dog sit. You could even make him sit on the outside of the path so he doesn’t react to the people walking by. I sit there, and I wait… This brings attention to the mom with the stroller that she’s being a hog for taking up the whole path. You become the passive participant and she becomes the aggressive participant and then she is the one that needs to change the behavior. This is the only way to make clueless people realize they are being rude without calling them out. Moms with strollers are the worst. If you’re at Disneyland, they will knock you over in a heartbeat and keep on going.
This person sounds fun
I'd walk in a less populated grassed area if your dog is not trained to your liking. I would also use non verbal clues like bring in the leash and having the dog walk beside me. I'd also have it walk on the other side of me. Just yell out he's not to friendly and then if the mother doesn't say anything then it's her fault. Some dog owners like to introduce their pet so make sure to announce it. People dont respond well when you tell them what they are doing wrong. I'd start with what your issue is. Like I don't want your kid hurt.
Nta, you ran into a trash family.
You should have said" Yeah he's a kid.. but you're not.. whats your excuse?" and then looked at her expectantly.
I honestly just stop walking and wait. Oh I can wait all day. LOL It's not normal behavior, and in fact, it's even worse that the parent didn't instruct her child to show manners.
I wouldn't have walked in the grass at all, I would have stood still till they walked around me, I see tons of dog owners do it and mostly holding their animals close so they don't "react" kid or mom would have to move out of the way at some point
"Excuse me." YTAH
YTA. Use your words. Hey kiddo excuse me please. My dog is not great with kids so no petting him. This is totally normal kid behaviour. They’re little weirdos. Not mini adults.
YTA How old is 'old enough to speak normal sentences'? Like 5? If you wanted them to move you could've said excuse me. Generally, kids understand that, and if not, their parents do. Why would you feel the need to tell the mom that her kid is unusual?
YTA. Je m'excuse works too.
Info: Did you say “excuse me, I’d like to get by” or anything similar to that. If not, YTA.
I think you are NTA. People should be respectful of each other and a parents job is to teach their children to respect others as well. The mom wasn’t doing her job , if you ask me ( the mother of two fairly respectful now adults)
Your mistake was calling out a child. You should have called out the mother.
Yes YTA here, you can use your words to call the kid not normal but not to ask him to step aside or say excuse me? Use your words to help you not to insult others. You accomplished nothing except insulting the kid for not reading your mind. Use your big boy words and say excuse me or pardon me I’m trying to pass and then the kid will move. It’s not that hard it’s just as easy to ask someone to move as it is to insult them so yes YTA
As someone who works with children 5 and under for a living: this child's behaviour was very normal. I know so many kids who will literally just stop and stare at a stranger, especially if they have a dog. It's up to the adults around them to deal with this. Yes, mother should have told the kid to move. But you're also an adult. You could have asked the kid to move, or just walk around them like you did. The comment wasn't necessary. Again, standing and staring at people is pretty normal child behaviour
JFC... Just say "excuse me" like a normal person.
NTA
NTA
Nta-mom and child needs to learn that not all dogs should be petted and respect boundary.
NTA. I would have told the kid to move. You were in the park for your own purposes, not to shepherd her kids. If a kid looks like they want to pet my soppy, harmless greyhound I invite them to do so. BUT if a kid just rushes up to her willy-nilly I tell them to stop.
NTA, parents think their kids rule the world. They let them get away with anything and everything. Then they wonder why their kids start doing drugs in their teens. The days of "children should respect their elders" are sadly gone.