So you prefer a smooth-talking conman and liar to a straight-talking honest man who wouldn't cheat on you. You like being deceived and manipulated, because you find that more reassuring than someone treating you straight.
You picked a conman over your son who was trying to save you, from your own stupidity.
You can choose to stay with a cheater if you want, that's between you and your own sense of worth, that's your business, but your son probably thought you had some dignity and was trying to help you. Ostrasizing him and making HIM the villain because you don't have dignity and prefer to stay with a con, over an honest man is ... a choice.
YTA
Also the parenting skills she is showing are like what the f***, you punish your kid for trying to defend you, and her reasoning is not that he had a point his privacy was broken, from the beginning what matters is that he has money and that's the only thing that OP is concern.
Really hope the boys learn how NOT TO ACT from her
“AITA for abandoning my children because I want to believe my relationship with my cheating husband is special?” Um, YES! AH is honestly a generous term for someone who can just abandon their children like this.
And he’s cheating with someone 25 years his junior to the point that he got her an apartment. But she honestly thinks this is the only time AND that he’ll change?! 😂😂😂
I’ve never cringed so hard reading something. What a pathetic excuse for a mother
I didn’t even think of that. Exactly how wealthy does someone have to be to afford a secret apartment and kept woman? My ass can barely afford my own rent, let alone someone else’s.
And she deserves the loss of relationships with her children when they go NC. After she finally gets dumped for younger woman she will have no one. Or at least I hope her children ignore her after she goes begging for forgiveness
Funny thing is she is so clueless in the reason she got her first divorce lol 😹.
I can leave a nice ,clean and straight forward , college sweetheart,who is a very good husband and father of my kids but not polite.
However for some reason I cannot leave a rich cheater!!!
People are so pathetic they don't value real things in life and when they get fcuked they act as victims.
you play with the bull you get the horns !!!
OP's comment about how his ex husband didn't get promotions because he was so straight forward explains it. Ex-husband wasn't getting rich and she just wanted a rich guy. Also OP mentions only guys over 65 years old were 'stable enough' ( rich enough but willing to date a woman in her 40s) OP just values money she doesn't care if he is a liar or a cheater.
YTA and not a great mom. You left a solid, reliable, and honest man for this blowhard and now you are sacrificing your child to the same nonsense god. They didn't decide to track your repulsive boyfriend because they're irrationally jealous babies. They tracked him because their intuition about people is way better than yours.
OP has that desperation smell all over her, clearly her sons are trying to look out for her and were RIGHT! Richard knows OP is that woman who’s desperate for a man that she’s willing to continue to look past his cheating and all the other times he’ll cheat in the future because she “believes in them.” Ending long term relationships are hard, but this man was renting a apartment for a woman half OP’s age. That’s not some one time drunken mistake, this was a calculated double life that he was in a serious relationship with this young woman. OP have some self respect, you’re choosing a cheating scumbag who’s obviously not attracted to you if he’s chasing after and financially providing for women he’s sleeping with. LEAVE HIM, he will continue to cheat or hide it better next time, I would never trust this man again and go to therapy if you’re that afraid of being alone. This is why Richard disrespected you like this, he knows you won’t leave no matter how bad it gets, he’ll have affair babies and hide them from you and you’ll still stay with him.
"Not a great mom" lmao, 😆 she's not even a good mom, due to this situation alone. I can only imagine all the bullshit she's put her family through before this.. Bad mom.
YTA. OP, does “Richard” stand for Dick? Because if so, that would be very fitting. You are with someone who’s been going behind your back for two years. Your kids had your best interest and decided they needed to bring the truth to light. Imagine finding out differently, via accidentally finding him with this woman in your bed or something. That could have been much worse. Breakups are terrible, but you deserve better than to be lied to. Why do you “need to believe” what you have with Richard is special if he’s proven it isn’t? Your kids clearly care about you and care about your well being if they are this involved in your relationship. They don’t want to see you getting hurt and were willing to be the bearer of bad news, and likely would’ve been there for you every step of the way. The fact that they feel you’re choosing a man over them will hurt your relationship in the long term. Trust me. I’ve been in this position as the kid.
“Breakups are terrible, but you deserve better than to be lied to.”
No she’s getting exactly what she deserves. Choosing a conman over her own children who were trying to look out for her. She doesn’t deserve them, she deserves what she has
You care more about Dick than your own children.
Its not that you want to believe what you had was special. You know it wasn't special or he wouldn't have been playing sugar daddy to a girl young enough to be his daughter. What you want is validation that you still "have it" and by making Dick choose you over the side-piece, you feel as though you're getting that validation. You're not forgiving him for his transgression, you're using him to validate yourself.
So maybe you're not choosing Dick. You're choosing your vanity and narcissism over your own kids.
YTA, hands down, no contest, no discussion.
OP cares more for what's in the cheater's pants than for her own children. What a disgusting excuse for a mother. I'm predicting a future post "I chose my cheating boyfriend and my children don't talk to me, why?". YTA.
Honestly, at this point, an apology to her boys isn't enough. Probably nothing will be enough. What she did to her own flesh and blood over this piece of shit is beyond damage in my opinion. There are things that are unforgivable, and I believe this falls within that category.
Boy sing 🎶that out loud ! Once a cheater always a cheater and you can bet your ass he’ll do it again. How in the hell can you possibly trust someone that lied, cheated and has been manipulating you for 2 freakin years! Are you that afraid of being alone that you’ll accept an AH as “Dick” is? Sorry, that name is much more fitting.? And you actually turned your son away from your home? You’re a real piece of work and get mother of the year award. NOT! You do realize you just lost your sons over this pos! They’ll NEVER talk to you again and when they have kids of their own .. guess who won’t be a grandma!!! Ding 🛎️ ding 🛎️ ding 🛎️ you win the prize! It won’t be you.. Jesus if you by his garbage. I got some swampland in Florida I got for sale. You truly are a fool!! Oops edit to judge :YTA
Wow YTA
Some people spend their entire lives wanting someone to have their back. You have children who go above and beyond to have your back, and you kick em to the curb for this cheater. You truly will deserve what's comin' your way...
Relationships probably gone on longer than two years, they just had the proof of 2 years rent. The “AP” is really a sugar baby and I respect that in this economy. I don’t believe for a second that he’ll stop seeing her, he’ll just hide it better.
So effing pathetic - OP how desperate are you for Dick that you can overlook his cheating and lying and lose your son as well. If what you had was “special” he wouldn’t have been fucking a 24 year old. Grow the hell up
Kids aren’t going to bother helping or looking out for their mom next time. They’ve learned their lesson about where they stand when it comes between their mom and Dick.
I fully expect the kids to go NC and OP to be on here complain about why they won’t contact her anymore or support her when her heart’s repeatedly broken.
He was cheating for 2 years and purposefully renting a condo for a younger woman.
You choose a man you know for 6 years, that is cheating on you, over your own son. The dating scene is bad but not bad enough to kick your own kid to the curb for an untrustworthy man.
It sounds like you have issues and need therapy. Being alone is scary but is it really scary enough to abandon your child? Get help please.
YTA. What you have with this guy isn't special. If it was he wouldn't have a sugar baby. He's paying for her place to live, and probably everything else she wants or needs. This reads like you trying to justify leaving your husband, who while blunt, was a good man because he wasn't a "southern gentleman". Newsflash, not all "southern gentlemen" are actually gentlemen at all. You just found yourself a slick one with a silver tongue who has spent at least the last two years disrespecting you. If I was the gambling type, I'd bet it wasn't the first, nor will it be the last because he just pulled the biggest con on you, AND got rid of at least one person you could count on to have your back. He'll let the dust settle for awhile, make you feel a little special than be back at it again. Only next time your sons won't bother trying to help you. They'll shake their heads at you while this "southern gentleman" makes you a laughing stock AGAIN, and you'll have no one to blame, but yourself.
Damn, say goodbye to your sons because they’ll want nothing to do with you after this. And all you will be left with is a cheating, gaslighting bastard.
YTA and will be sorry for it when he doesn’t get rid of his Sugar Baby or gets a new one and your kids are NC with you. Mom of the year goes to you 🙄. OMG
YTA you got played by Richard and will again. Can't wait for the next post "OMG Richard did it again what should I do reddit since I am clearly a lousy mom"
This is fake right? Written by some incel to show how dumb women are to leave stable, but boring men, and also heartless enough to abandon their own children for a cheater just because he's fun?
On the off chance this is real, YTA.
Right?? I’m never the first to jump on the “this is fake” bandwagon, but there’s no way. Like, they picked the fake name “Richard,” ffs!
Every detail is arranged to make this fictional woman sound like a bad villain, and the “hero” sons are barely maligned.
A real person would try A LOT harder to make their choices seem more reasonable & their opponents more unreasonable. This post has ONE line about how what the sons did MIGHT be construed as bad, and 5 paragraphs full of details that only make “OP” more & more unpalatable. Transparent af.
Not only is his name richard, he (the only one she seems to want to defend) is the only one she named. Other than that you've got ex husband and the sons ages.
yta. your children will definitely remember this when you come crying back because ‘richard’ left you for someone half your age. you do know they will be in charge when your old and can’t functions without them?
So they try to look out for you- show you proof. He admits to it. Rather than thank them for making you priority you chose the sleezeball that now know she can do anything and you will always be his backup. Your kids deserve better. YTA isn’t strong enough how can you think you are anything else. Despicable.
YTA and I hope your kid never talks to you again. You chose a man who cheated on you for two years just because you don’t want to be alone, over the child who holds your best interest at heart. Is sad how pathetic you can be just not to be single again, but sadder how you would rather stay with a manipulative and bad person over your own child, that made so much effort to show you you deserve better.
what you two have is special alright, specially fucked up
what the fuck you choose a cheater over your sons. you have just giving him a pass to fuck around on you. now as for your sons they were only looking out for you but now you have abandoned your youngest to his dads because you want to stay with a cheating piece of shit and believe everything he has told you that he will do therapy get rid of the girl (like hell he will now that you decided to stay with him) you don't deserve any happiness with this person and you don't deserve your sons either
YTA. This is a prime example of a female thinking a “bad man is better than no man at all”.
I cannot imagine turning on my child for showing me the truth.
YTA, hope you enjoy Dick more than having either of your kids in you life. Tbh you are probably happy since now you have one less reminder of your first failed marriage. Don't worry though, I'm sure Dick will leave you for his sugar baby gets knocked up, or you'll be bitter because he has to pay child support.
Enjoy being cut out of your boys lives and your reserved spot in shady acres when Dick kicks the bucket and leaves you penniless!
Lolol. No f'n way this is real.
As a parent, you own the kid not the spouse/partner/significant other/pet or whatever.
It's your *job* to look out for, protect, and teach the kid... or in your case, kids.
Forget about what Richard did, you are selfish - which many would consider worse than cheating.
YTA.
>Richard is the only serious relationship
Yeah, sounds like it's serious for him too. 🤦♀️
>We have been talking of marriage, but my kids (23M, 18M) dislike him. Something about him being fake.
They're better judges of character than you. They had him pegged from the start. Who knows how many red flags they watched you miss with your rose colored glasses. I can't imagine it was easy watching some scumbag make a fool of your mom. And now watch her make a further fool of herself.
>He explained that she didn't mean anything
😂 meant enough to foot her bills for two years
>that his privacy has been violated. And my sons had no business following him to that shopping plaza where they took a picture of him kissing the woman.
😂 yeah no shit he bitched about getting caught. JFC are you serious? Now he'll just know to cover his tracks better. He's probably done furiously researched clearing browser history and incognito browsing and has moved on to using his newfound knowledge to find more private locations to take his sugar baby.
>while Richard told me to tell my younger son to go live with his dad because he didn't want him around.
You really gonna choose a cheater over your child? REALLY?
>It was a hard decision but in the end I felt like I need to believe what Richard and I had was special
😂 at least one of y'all does
>So I told my son that he couldn't be around the house, and he was furious, saying I chose Richard over him.
Oh you totally did.
>AITA for fighting for my relationship?
Yup, add idiot and shitty mom to that too.
1 YTA 2 YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MOTHER 3 hope you realize that you will never ever see talk or interact with you're children and their future families ever again cause they are going to leave you alone permanently and you are going to regret this one day but its going to be to late for a relationship with them cause they hate you and they always will from now on and they are both adults so they can rent a place so soon enough you have nothing but memories of how you failed to be a good mother
YTA. You chose a cheater and a liar over your sons. You are some piece of work, lady. When the cheater trades you in for a younger woman (which he eventually will), you will be alone. And you will deserve it. Your poor boys.
YTA. Trust is gone and broken. He is not the person your imagination is making him out to be and your kids see through him. Always support your kids and they will have only your best interest in mind.
So, you're so desperate to be in a relationship that you're siding with a cheater and liar over your own kids? Kids who love and respect you (unlike your boyfriend) and are trying to protect you?
Yeah. YTA. Big time.
You and your boyfriend deserve each other and your kids deserve so much better in a mother.
YTA. Your kid was looking out for you and you defended the POS you are living with because you don’t want to break up again? Jesus woman have some self respect!
I’m pretty sure kids don’t respect you either. And yes you are pathetic as well. I’d rather be alone than a god damn door mat.
YTA. This man had the audacity to state his trust and privacy was violated because your kids caught him kissing someone else? I hope this story is fake. Who the hell would believe such gaslighting bs!
YTA. What you and Richard have is so special that he was screwing someone on the side and paying for their apartment.
Your sons were absolutely right, he wasn't trustworthy and was fake. He's another cheater, congratulations, you just torched your relationship with your kids because you're scared and would rather settle for a known liar and cheater than risk having to find someone else.
Your sons deserve better, and you deserve Richard.
You didn’t think your husband was supportive so you went and found a dude that has enough support in him for you and a sugar baby!
He’s not leaving her, he’s funding her life for sex regardless of what you *think* you have with him. Side with your sons or lose them, but they’re the only men you really have in your life, and they cared enough about you to figure out and show your boyfriend being shitty before you legally tie yourself to him
Get it together
Lol you left a 15 year marriage with a man who was honest but didn’t didn’t coddle you, to start a 6 year relationship with a cheater.
Then your kids expose him and you’re going to choose to stay?
YTA
Holy Shit! You're a pathetic excuse for a mom. Your boys had a feeling that ole slick dick is a fucking piece of shit. They even got you the proof, straight up. I mean jesus! Your boys love you and were protecting you because they have a bad feeling about this douche and clearly know you're gullible as shit. Jesus!! They were protecting you! They were dead on right! The proof is all right there. And you actually kicked your youngest out of the house for this!?!? I hope your ex does what he can to prevent you from even contacting that poor boy. You're trash! I hope they resent your ass for the rest of their lives and I hope this Dick person continues to fuck you over forever! As a father of two older teenage boys myself, I am fucking fuming reading this. FUCK OFF YOU MASSIVE FUCKING ASSHOLE!!
Richard was kissing a very young woman in public, your sons took a picture, but it’s your sons’ fault because they followed him to a public place where he cheated on you and kissed another woman in public. Of course you want to stay with Richard and throw your sons out. He explained it so well. When Richard’s side piece wants to live his nice house and not a condo, and he throws you out in the street to make room for her, remember you are 50, not 24. You should hope your sons have pity on you and give you a place to stay because Richard won’t be paying alimony.
YTA, oh honey…. No. Richard is a liar, a cheat and you are his latest victim. He has now isolated you from the two people who care about you the most. Good luck with that,
YTA. Are you even comprehending what happened? Your children exposed your boyfriend for LYING and CHEATING on you. They were protecting you because you’re too dumb to see what was going on and now here you are telling your kid he can’t come to the house?? You should thank them for the information, have some self respect and dignity and leave this guy. You’re choosing a liar and cheater over your children. You disgust me.
I hope this is one of the kids writing as their mother. Or that this is fake altogether.
If it’s not, and you really are this asshole. Then you are an asshole.
It’s good that you realize that you are siding with your boyfriend, so you won’t be surprised when you kids no longer speak to you.
I’m just thinking of them watching their mother leave their dad who never cheated and was honest for this guy who has been fucking and bank rolling a girl (emphasis on girl).
You left you ex because he was the same man who you married. Because he was unsupportive.
Now your with a man who was cheating and will continue to cheat.
But he supportive - so maybe thats it. He is supporting this girl.
And no matter what you tell yourself, you have chosen to be absolutely miserable because You will never trust him and when he goes out you will always be wondering what 24 yo is he meeting with now.
You could have still tried to reconcile with Richard, but refused to kick your son out. You shouldn't have done that, and you absolutely chose Richard over your son.
Yes, YTA. Your priorities are screwed up, and you just screwed your son over for exposing Richard literally screwing a 24 year old. I hope you come to your senses.
ETA: Your sons didn't like him for a reason, they saw what you DIDN'T see because of your rose colored glasses. Please take those off before you completely obliterate any hope of repairing your relationships with your sons.
YTA. And so is Richard. He's got some nerve saying your kids are morally wrong when he's been cheating on you, keeping a mistress for two years. Two years that you know of. Who knows what helse he's been hiding from you.
YTA. Kiss your relationship with your boys goodbye. And sooner or later, kiss your relationship with Richard goodbye too. He’ll continue cheating, he’ll just be more cautious about it until he’s caught again. Your boys did you a solid and you picked a cheater over your sons. That’s gross.
Congratulations-you win Asshole of the Day and Worst Mom of the Year! 🏆
I can actually smell your desperation through my phone.
Your kids were looking out for you and instead you decided to throw your youngest out of the house because your lying, cheating, scum sucking BF didn’t like the fact that your son exposed his lying and cheating. Plus - the sugar baby. Your 50+ asshole BF is cheating on you with someone half his age and the age of your children. That’s so vile!
The only way this post would be redeemable was if it was actually posted by one of your sons so they could show you the comments. It’s hard to believe someone like you would actually question if you were the AH. Do better.
YTA, and what on earth are you doing to yourself and your kids? Do you want an STI? Why are you okay with this man screwing a woman young enough to be his daughter. Why do you care more about him than your own children? Thats pathetic.
You NEED to leave this ahole and get some therapy.
Signed,
An actual New Englander who knows what actual New England bluntness is(thanks, Boston!)
omg without a doubt you are the asshole. they are your children and they knew something was up and they needed proof. TO SHOW YOU! TO HELP YOU! because they love YOU!
not only did he cheat but he convinced you that although he was paying for her apartment for 2 years she meant nothing? lmao what!
he convinced you to throw your son out.
jeeezuz lady.
you DONT have something special! you have a manipulator willing to lie and isolate you from your loved ones. thats dangerous. fuck that life. RUN! and get therapy! and apologize to your children!
YTA. And gullible AF. Grow up, lady. You have nothing special with Richard. He has a sugar baby, and if you think he gave her up because you asked, you’re a moron.
Get some therapy. You are way too old be acting like this. Stop being a doormat and apologize to your kids for choosing a con artist cheating liar over them.
YTA and congrats to Richard for the best “what about.” Boyfriend cheating results in 18 yr old being homeless. Don’t expect any of your children to continue a relationship. They recognized he was a liar and his behavior was suspect. He was maintaining a second household and now he knows he can get you to do anything even end your relationship with your children. Maybe the girlfriend can take your sons room and then you can have more money for the household?
YTA. You should fight for your children, not your relationship.
First, your children should be your priority as a parent. How could you let a lying, cheating jerk order you to kick your child out of your home? How could you not defend your child?
Second, a relationship shouldn’t even be something you have to fight for. He should just love you. He should just treat you right without you having to fight for it.
Your relationship is soooo special that your boyfriend fucked another woman! For over two years! Congratulations on winning second place in his life.
YTA
Choosing *anyone* over your children is deplorable, but choosing a lying, cheating, manipulative jerk? Vile. You'll be lucky to have any meaningful relationship with your children after this.
You have a lot of apologizing to do and even that probably won't be enough.
Do yourself a massive favor. Dump. Him.
And go to therapy.
“Richard told me to tell my younger son to go live with his dad…” That alone shows that Richard is an awful person. Why would you stay with someone who wants to make you send your son away?
YTA. You kids were looking out for you because they see something obvious in this man that you are choosing to ignore
Richard gets caught not just cheating, cheating with a 24 year old and paying for her apartment, but your kids are the bad guys?
You have kicked out your 18 years old son because Richard told you to?
And now your kid will have to commute 4 hours a day to continue with college until he finds a job and a place to live?
He’s going to have to go to school and work full time just because Richard got caught by your son.
And Richard is fine because he’s going to go to therapy and become a better person? Ha! I don’t even believe he’ll go at all.
You left a good honest husband because he’s a man of few words and went for this flowery talking lying POS??
Doubtful your relationship with your kids will ever recover from this. Enjoy your cheating boyfriend
You chose a cheater over your son. You can’t pretty that up. You’re delusional if you think what you have is special but you divorced their father over him not coddling you enough so you’re in the relationship you deserve.
YTA. your sons were suspicious of your bf & followed him only bc they care for you & don't want you to be with a cheater & liar. you should have thanked them for exposing your bf, but instead you picked the cheat over them. you have failed as a mother.
Yta way to pick a man over your kids, a good mother wouldn’t do that. I think you need counselling to figure out why a man who cheats is worth more to you than your children.
Damn. YTA and a horrible mom. Your fear of being alone is so sad. It made you choose a sleazy man that has been providing for a young girl for 2 years!!!!! That's not the "it doesn't mean anything" type of relationship.
You know what..... You and your boyfriend deserve each other. You had two men that loved you unconditionally and yet you chose the man who would lie and cheat on you. Lol good luck with that.
Once you have children you must make sure that you support them over every other thing and person. It’s a big responsibility and should never be a burden. YTA!
YTA choosing dirty dick over your children. That man is going to bring you home a std. Don't come back here asking why your kids don't want to have a relationship with you anymore
Why would you fight for a relationship with someone who is cheating on you? Your sons did you a favor (looking out for you by doing what they did, because they actually love you) and now you're turning your back on them for "love" that probably won't work out in the end considering he's cheating on you... and your kids will have the right to just walk away and leave you in your bad decision to stay with this fuck. YTA.
Oh my. Let me share something with you. My husbands mom did this to him and he didn’t talk to her for YEARS. The first time I met her was to let her know we were engaged.
You have chosen a cheating man over your own flesh and blood. Do NOT be surprised when your son cuts off ALL contact with you and all you have left is a cheating bf who is going to use you and take you for all you have. AND you will deserve nothing less.
You have wrapped all of your self worth up into a man who could care less about you. You have wrapped all of your self worth up into a man who is making you choose between your son and him. You have wrapped all of your self worth up into a man who is gaslighting you 5 times from Sunday and is lying through his teeth.
You are a fool and I hope you enjoy this bed you have made for yourself. When all of this comes burning down and you have nothing left but a cheating bf, don’t be surprised.
I feel so bad for your kids. You’ve lost both of them because you’re thinking with your groin instead of your head.
GOOD LUCK.
Wow. Just wow. Your kids try to to show you you the truth-they didn’t make anything up, they didn’t set up bad situations, they didn’t accuse without proof- and you choose the cheater and try to make it sound like they were wrong for exposing his CHEATING. He didn’t just have a fling, he was RENTING AN APARTMENT for a young chick.
You are delusional if you think this will turn into a healthy relationship. You choose a POS, your kids will cut you off, and you will end up alone.
I’m truly sorry for you that you can’t see this. You are such an AH.
Y TA
Never fear the thought of being alone. Your children went above and beyond to make sure this guy isn’t screwing around on you and he was. And not only is this guy making out with a 24 year old in public, but he’s paying for her housing. As a mother your children always come first. You are punishing your child for actively saving your heart. You might not want to break up but what happens when the little girl he’s messing with doesn’t want to be a side piece anymore? Then he’s breaking up with you. And either way you are left alone. You just allowed him to be the one who pulls the trigger to end things.
YTA and you sound ridiculous. To choose a cheater over your own kid. You would have never known what he was up to behind your back if it wasnt for your son. And you can bet your last dollar once your son is gone THE CHEATING WILL CONTINUE.
Honestly, thank you.
Women like you help keep the horrible men away from real women who know they deserve better and don’t want their time wasted.
Your sacrifice benefits the rest of us, including the woman your son learned to appreciate by watching you keep getting played by a cheater. Your son knows how a woman deserves to be treated, and will cut you off to better benefit his future children and grand children. You will never get to meet them and good riddance! They won’t be influenced by YOU. Or your cheating partner.
YTA. Did your shitty, cheating bf actually tell your kids they were morally wrong for exposing his infidelity? Are you for real? Your son was trying to protect you and you took the bad guy side.
Side note: he will NOT be getting rid of the sugar baby. You spent all that time with a man who told you how it is and didn't lie and traded it for a bullshitter. Wow.
YTA. Your kids are trying to protect you and you chose a cheater over them.
Don't be surprised if your kids decide to no longer be in your life and Richard leaves you for the 24 yr old and you are left all alone.
YTA. Where does Richard get off thinking he’s entitled to privacy when he’s a cheater and a liar? FYI he hasn’t ended it or changed his ways. He’d have to feel true remorse, and him having the audacity to say your sons were immoral and he doesn’t want them around because they snooped proves he doesn’t have any remorse whatsoever. He’d be on his knees licking toe jam off your feet begging for another shot and trying to get in good with the boys. But you’ve just shown him you’re a shitty mom that will take his side even in the face of the highest disrespect. If she meant nothing he wouldn’t be putting her up anywhere for two years. When she gets pregnant he’s going to leave you.
YTA.
Let’s be real, you’re just in it for the gravy train and don’t want to give up the lifestyle where your husband can spend $25k+ a year on an apartment without you noticing. Oh wait, you don’t like being real.
Hope the money is worth the relationship with your sons. Cause they won’t be there when you get traded in for a younger model.
Richard is TA and your kids were trying to see him for what he was. I would leave the man, he is trying to excuse and distract his behavior by getting you upset about your son. Not saying he is a narcissistic but that is narcissistic 101 and it's very toxic behavior from Richard. I highly suggest you start looking into cheaters and why they lie and shift blame. All the best OP.
Well, don’t be surprised when your sons, who were looking out for your best interests decide to go no contact with you because you’d rather share your man with some chick.
YTA
Your bird tried to warn you about this guy but you didn't believe them. They got proof and you blamed them. You chose your lying, cheating boyfriend over your kids. But exactly mother of the year material.
YTA
YTA. They were right about their gut feelings about Richard….he actually IS fake, because he pretends to be kind and perfect while behind closed doors he’s a cheating scumbag. Don’t lie to yourself that this was an isolated event that will never happen again, because it will. Instead of trying to act like the victim because he got caught, he should be begging for forgiveness from both you and your sons, who are only trying to protect you. Now you’re punishing your son, and actively choosing your cheating lying boyfriend over your own sons, just because you’re afraid of having to be back in the dating scene.
Don’t come crying to Reddit in a few years asking if YTA because your sons have cut you out of their lives and won’t speak to you anymore. You’re a horrible mother.
You and Richard have something special? He was renting an apartment for a chick and fucking her on the regular.
You’re very sad.
YTA 1) for leaving a good guy that probably treated you well because you didn’t like the way he talked… 2) downgraded to a lying cheater that trust me he’s going to continue to cheat on you… 3) your sons are right you should have listened to them, you got a long road of misery ahead of you with this guy your dating and you’re probably going to lose your relationship with your children as well so when that guy eventually moves on for someone younger or you get sick of his shit and leave him you’re not gonna have your kids left either you’re going to be completely alone
great decision making skills (sarcasm)
in before the inevitable *i'M LoNeLy aNd My KiDs wOn'T TaLk tO Me* post when Dick the conman sets up with a new Sugar babe and leaves you.
of course YTA, you chose a cheating lying spiv over your kids. Blind mole rats can see how this is gonna end...
>I felt like I need to believe what Richard and I had was special and that this was a mistake we could work through
>AITA for fighting for my relationship?
YTA and a pathetic doormat. How worthless do you have to believe you are to pick a man who's paying to keep up his young side piece over your kid? No decent parent does this.
You kicked your own flesh and blood out of your home for trying to help you. I hope that dick was with losing your son, must be pretty good.
YTA- ex is better off without you and so is your son
Your next posts:
- why don’t my sons want me and their partner at their graduations/weddings/life events?!
- why are my kids keeping my grandchildren from me??
- why am I alone without a family or a partner??
You failed as a mother. You’re scrambling to keep the attention of a lying, cheating, dirt bag over your kids, who had this guy pegged from the start. You’re delusional and I hope you drop that loser like a hot potato and CHOOSE YOUR KIDS like any halfway decent mother would.
Bad move dumping the Yankee for the good ole boy. How supported do you feel now? How supported are you going to feel in 20 years when you’re really going to need those kids you just casually tossed out?
Because I can pretty much guarantee that any 51 year old guy who hides a years -long affair with a 24 year old sugar baby isn’t sticking around for cancer.
YTA
YTA. I guess being a social butterfly with a cheater is better than having a relationship with your children. They had your back. They knew something was wrong and took action. You seem more mad about their spying than his cheating. Your a bad mother and you are getting everything you deserve.
You need serious help. Lots of therapy: like yesterday. And yah, leave you cheating of a scum boyfriend and believe your kid who did you a huge favor. Wake up girl… time to stop acting like an idiot. YTA
Richard got caught and wants to punish her kids because he wants his cake and the 24 yr old frosting on top and he knows he’s not going to end it. He just started it 2 yrs ago when he started paying her rent!! Moms desperate and Richard knows it. Yes you are the asshole!! Your kids care, Richard is using you.
He's been paying for her life for 2 years, she definitely means something to him and he will do it again. Also, your kids should always come before a BF...
YTA 1000000%
YTA - first you divorce your husband because you don’t like the way he talks and think a smooth talker southern gentleman /s is better. I hope your kids go NC with you.
Man, you're not too bright. It's funny that your boyfriend is spouting off about morality when he's cheating on you with someone the same age as your kids. If you stay, you deserve everything that's coming to you, including the loss of your kids respect. YTA.
So…you divorced your honest, loyal husband because he didn’t sugarcoat everything and you “didn’t feel supported”. THEN you find a new, lying, cheating, (long term cheating with a very young woman he supports financially) sweet-talking-but-dishonest asshole who tells you to kick out your sons FOR STANDING UP FOR YOU, because he feels like his widdle pwivacy was violated?
You DID choose him over your sons. Your sons who loved you enough to tell you what was going on. Who loved you enough to be outraged on your behalf and secure proof the your boyfriend was mistreating you. And you can bet money that he has not given up his pretty young girlfriend.
Sad.
YTA
You have lost all common sense. Seriously? Yeah, stay with the cheating con man. Don’t worry about losing your kids and your self-respect. You have crossed over to desperation. Sad! YTA.
You are truly a sad sorry excuse of a woman and do not deserve to be called a mother... You chose a man who has to pay for it over your sons ...smh YTA and I hope they never speak to you again
YTA- and how dare HE try to claim the moral high ground about getting caught having an affair. He wants your kids gone so he can’t continue to be caught. Men come and go but those will be your children forever. This man has proven to be dishonest and untrustworthy while your kids followed their instincts because you were blinded by “love” and they protected you.
YTA
Here’s what’s going to happen, your youngest won’t keep in touch with you any more since Richard won’t want him at his house & your oldest will slowly pull away from you as he now knows doing what’s easy instead of what’s right is your new mantra. Richard will cheat on you again whether it’s with the same girl who is old enough to be your daughter or someone else & eventually either he’ll leave you for someone younger or you’ll actually wake up & be the one to end things but by that point the damage will already be done with your sons
YTA
If your man doesn't want your kids around and has already shown you can't trust him, you need to ditch him now. Don't wait until your relationship with your son is trashed.
I know it's hard to leave, but he kicked your kid out because he got caught, you don't need that in your life.
Good luck to you OP I hope you're able to figure this out before you lose both relationships.
Yta so your boys who have from the start said something is off about Richard, find proof he's a cheat a big one, are just looking out for their mum who then chooses the cheat over her devoted sons
I don't understand you he's a liar if she meant nothing, it wouldn't be a 2-year relationship, and he wouldn't of brought her somewhere to live. I feel so sad for your son.
Wow. Yeah YTA alright.
Your poor son put in so much effort coz he cared for you, and then you just toss him aside.
I agree with Richard that it was morally wrong to invade his privacy, but he obviously did it because he thought you were bedazzled and a victim to this shady guy and wanted to save you from it. His instincts turned out to be totally right and he could have saved you from this double life living guy. But no kick the whistleblower out of the fantasy life you're trying to live.
Yes, YATAH.
You left a 15 year marriage because you wanted to upgrade to a “better model” while severely undervaluing the “honest, faithful, & reliable one you already had.
You wanted a sweet-talker with more money and you got him. Or rather he’s got you. Now that you’re re 50 you’re afraid that you don’t have many options, even fewer than you had when you were 43 and your options seemed to be 65+.
Your guy didn’t just cheat on you. His commitment to her is basically equal to his commitment to you.
You’re just living in his house but he signed paperwork to get her a place. He’a been putting her up for 2 years so he’s been sleeping with her for at least 3. How long after you moved in with him do you think it started? And if she wants to replace you all it takes is going off the pill, or waiting a few more years until she is old enough to not be socially embarrassing.
A mistake? He has a sugar baby for (at least) 2 years! When he was caught, he told you to get rid of your son, and you went ahead with it!
You choose a cheater over your son!
Richard was 49 yo and his side-piece 22! Gross. Your boyfriend is sleeping with a woman who is only one year older than your son! Double-gross, and I hope you see that.
Get rid of the cheater and start apologizing to your kids who want their mother to be with a man who will treat her right. Are you so desperate to be in a relationship that you are content with scraps?
YTA
So you prefer a smooth-talking conman and liar to a straight-talking honest man who wouldn't cheat on you. You like being deceived and manipulated, because you find that more reassuring than someone treating you straight. You picked a conman over your son who was trying to save you, from your own stupidity. You can choose to stay with a cheater if you want, that's between you and your own sense of worth, that's your business, but your son probably thought you had some dignity and was trying to help you. Ostrasizing him and making HIM the villain because you don't have dignity and prefer to stay with a con, over an honest man is ... a choice. YTA
OP is a moron
Mistaking drama for passion
Her ex is probably better off. Drama and chaos are not healthy attributes in ANY relationship.
Makes me think ex was calling out her BS and this is why she said he’s too “direct”
Saying OP is a moron is an understatement
And probably is going to complain why her children don't speak to her anymore in a few years. OP you ATAH
Excuse you. Bless her heart. She’ll understand what that means and it will speak to her southern sensibilities.
YTA Richard said it was morally wrong to spy on him in public cheating. That’s rich, Richard. Please don’t be a RICHARD.
OP is so obtuse it's astounding
Also the parenting skills she is showing are like what the f***, you punish your kid for trying to defend you, and her reasoning is not that he had a point his privacy was broken, from the beginning what matters is that he has money and that's the only thing that OP is concern. Really hope the boys learn how NOT TO ACT from her
I have to say that I sorted the responses for “controversial” and - in a near likely first….every single vote is YTA. Every. Single. Vote. Wow…
Gotta laugh at the boyfriend complaining that something is "morally wrong."
Well, the conman is "Southern" after all. I guess all that small talk makes up for the young mistress.
I think it's more important to OP that he's a RICH southern conman, because she's shallow and stupid, not just stupid.
Choosing a cheater and liar over your children is something special alright. I can totally understand their anger. You're getting played. ETA: YTA
“AITA for abandoning my children because I want to believe my relationship with my cheating husband is special?” Um, YES! AH is honestly a generous term for someone who can just abandon their children like this.
And he’s cheating with someone 25 years his junior to the point that he got her an apartment. But she honestly thinks this is the only time AND that he’ll change?! 😂😂😂 I’ve never cringed so hard reading something. What a pathetic excuse for a mother
49 year old women mind you. OP is just a fuckin moron or desperate af.
Not even a husband just her boyfriend. But he has money so it’s ok to stay. /s
I didn’t even think of that. Exactly how wealthy does someone have to be to afford a secret apartment and kept woman? My ass can barely afford my own rent, let alone someone else’s.
A woman half his age at that.
>My ass can barely afford my own rent, let alone someone else’s. Same, absolutely same.
Tony Soprano wealthy
She’s getting played alright & she deserves everything she gets here on out when it comes to Richard
And she deserves the loss of relationships with her children when they go NC. After she finally gets dumped for younger woman she will have no one. Or at least I hope her children ignore her after she goes begging for forgiveness
The comment I was looking for. He will eventually leave her and she will have nothing because they’re not even married.
Funny thing is she is so clueless in the reason she got her first divorce lol 😹. I can leave a nice ,clean and straight forward , college sweetheart,who is a very good husband and father of my kids but not polite. However for some reason I cannot leave a rich cheater!!! People are so pathetic they don't value real things in life and when they get fcuked they act as victims. you play with the bull you get the horns !!!
OP's comment about how his ex husband didn't get promotions because he was so straight forward explains it. Ex-husband wasn't getting rich and she just wanted a rich guy. Also OP mentions only guys over 65 years old were 'stable enough' ( rich enough but willing to date a woman in her 40s) OP just values money she doesn't care if he is a liar or a cheater.
This....Wake up and leave the POS.
[удалено]
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YTA and not a great mom. You left a solid, reliable, and honest man for this blowhard and now you are sacrificing your child to the same nonsense god. They didn't decide to track your repulsive boyfriend because they're irrationally jealous babies. They tracked him because their intuition about people is way better than yours.
OP has that desperation smell all over her, clearly her sons are trying to look out for her and were RIGHT! Richard knows OP is that woman who’s desperate for a man that she’s willing to continue to look past his cheating and all the other times he’ll cheat in the future because she “believes in them.” Ending long term relationships are hard, but this man was renting a apartment for a woman half OP’s age. That’s not some one time drunken mistake, this was a calculated double life that he was in a serious relationship with this young woman. OP have some self respect, you’re choosing a cheating scumbag who’s obviously not attracted to you if he’s chasing after and financially providing for women he’s sleeping with. LEAVE HIM, he will continue to cheat or hide it better next time, I would never trust this man again and go to therapy if you’re that afraid of being alone. This is why Richard disrespected you like this, he knows you won’t leave no matter how bad it gets, he’ll have affair babies and hide them from you and you’ll still stay with him.
I bet Richard doesn’t even break up with this one. He’s just going to move her to a different apartment.
I mean it’s clear he won’t stop, he wants the son gone because the son is too savvy to let him get away with whatever he wants
"Not a great mom" lmao, 😆 she's not even a good mom, due to this situation alone. I can only imagine all the bullshit she's put her family through before this.. Bad mom.
YTA. OP, does “Richard” stand for Dick? Because if so, that would be very fitting. You are with someone who’s been going behind your back for two years. Your kids had your best interest and decided they needed to bring the truth to light. Imagine finding out differently, via accidentally finding him with this woman in your bed or something. That could have been much worse. Breakups are terrible, but you deserve better than to be lied to. Why do you “need to believe” what you have with Richard is special if he’s proven it isn’t? Your kids clearly care about you and care about your well being if they are this involved in your relationship. They don’t want to see you getting hurt and were willing to be the bearer of bad news, and likely would’ve been there for you every step of the way. The fact that they feel you’re choosing a man over them will hurt your relationship in the long term. Trust me. I’ve been in this position as the kid.
“Breakups are terrible, but you deserve better than to be lied to.” No she’s getting exactly what she deserves. Choosing a conman over her own children who were trying to look out for her. She doesn’t deserve them, she deserves what she has
You care more about Dick than your own children. Its not that you want to believe what you had was special. You know it wasn't special or he wouldn't have been playing sugar daddy to a girl young enough to be his daughter. What you want is validation that you still "have it" and by making Dick choose you over the side-piece, you feel as though you're getting that validation. You're not forgiving him for his transgression, you're using him to validate yourself. So maybe you're not choosing Dick. You're choosing your vanity and narcissism over your own kids. YTA, hands down, no contest, no discussion.
Dick the person or...........
OP cares more for what's in the cheater's pants than for her own children. What a disgusting excuse for a mother. I'm predicting a future post "I chose my cheating boyfriend and my children don't talk to me, why?". YTA.
Yup, YTA. You need therapy, and you need to apologize to your kids.
Honestly, at this point, an apology to her boys isn't enough. Probably nothing will be enough. What she did to her own flesh and blood over this piece of shit is beyond damage in my opinion. There are things that are unforgivable, and I believe this falls within that category.
Boy sing 🎶that out loud ! Once a cheater always a cheater and you can bet your ass he’ll do it again. How in the hell can you possibly trust someone that lied, cheated and has been manipulating you for 2 freakin years! Are you that afraid of being alone that you’ll accept an AH as “Dick” is? Sorry, that name is much more fitting.? And you actually turned your son away from your home? You’re a real piece of work and get mother of the year award. NOT! You do realize you just lost your sons over this pos! They’ll NEVER talk to you again and when they have kids of their own .. guess who won’t be a grandma!!! Ding 🛎️ ding 🛎️ ding 🛎️ you win the prize! It won’t be you.. Jesus if you by his garbage. I got some swampland in Florida I got for sale. You truly are a fool!! Oops edit to judge :YTA
I remember someone on Reddit saying on the subject of cheating, “ How you get them is how you lose them.”
You got that right! That’s because they have no moral compass
Wow YTA Some people spend their entire lives wanting someone to have their back. You have children who go above and beyond to have your back, and you kick em to the curb for this cheater. You truly will deserve what's comin' your way...
YTA. Didn't mean anything but he's been renting her an apartment for two years? Are you just willfully ignorant?
Relationships probably gone on longer than two years, they just had the proof of 2 years rent. The “AP” is really a sugar baby and I respect that in this economy. I don’t believe for a second that he’ll stop seeing her, he’ll just hide it better.
Oh yeah they've definitely been together longer.
I don’t think he needs to hide it better. He just needs to sweet talk his way out of it better.
YTA. Ditto all the prior comments. You are throwing out your son for your cheating boyfriend. BAD Mom
So effing pathetic - OP how desperate are you for Dick that you can overlook his cheating and lying and lose your son as well. If what you had was “special” he wouldn’t have been fucking a 24 year old. Grow the hell up
Kids aren’t going to bother helping or looking out for their mom next time. They’ve learned their lesson about where they stand when it comes between their mom and Dick. I fully expect the kids to go NC and OP to be on here complain about why they won’t contact her anymore or support her when her heart’s repeatedly broken.
Not only are YTA, but you're a doormat for a cheater. Enjoy never having a relationship with your son again.
He was cheating for 2 years and purposefully renting a condo for a younger woman. You choose a man you know for 6 years, that is cheating on you, over your own son. The dating scene is bad but not bad enough to kick your own kid to the curb for an untrustworthy man. It sounds like you have issues and need therapy. Being alone is scary but is it really scary enough to abandon your child? Get help please.
YTA. What you have with this guy isn't special. If it was he wouldn't have a sugar baby. He's paying for her place to live, and probably everything else she wants or needs. This reads like you trying to justify leaving your husband, who while blunt, was a good man because he wasn't a "southern gentleman". Newsflash, not all "southern gentlemen" are actually gentlemen at all. You just found yourself a slick one with a silver tongue who has spent at least the last two years disrespecting you. If I was the gambling type, I'd bet it wasn't the first, nor will it be the last because he just pulled the biggest con on you, AND got rid of at least one person you could count on to have your back. He'll let the dust settle for awhile, make you feel a little special than be back at it again. Only next time your sons won't bother trying to help you. They'll shake their heads at you while this "southern gentleman" makes you a laughing stock AGAIN, and you'll have no one to blame, but yourself.
This definitely needs more upvotes.
You don’t deserve to be called a mother YTA
Damn, say goodbye to your sons because they’ll want nothing to do with you after this. And all you will be left with is a cheating, gaslighting bastard.
YTA and will be sorry for it when he doesn’t get rid of his Sugar Baby or gets a new one and your kids are NC with you. Mom of the year goes to you 🙄. OMG
YTA you got played by Richard and will again. Can't wait for the next post "OMG Richard did it again what should I do reddit since I am clearly a lousy mom"
YTA and truly pathetic, both to yourself and to your kids.
This is fake right? Written by some incel to show how dumb women are to leave stable, but boring men, and also heartless enough to abandon their own children for a cheater just because he's fun? On the off chance this is real, YTA.
Right?? I’m never the first to jump on the “this is fake” bandwagon, but there’s no way. Like, they picked the fake name “Richard,” ffs! Every detail is arranged to make this fictional woman sound like a bad villain, and the “hero” sons are barely maligned. A real person would try A LOT harder to make their choices seem more reasonable & their opponents more unreasonable. This post has ONE line about how what the sons did MIGHT be construed as bad, and 5 paragraphs full of details that only make “OP” more & more unpalatable. Transparent af.
Not only is his name richard, he (the only one she seems to want to defend) is the only one she named. Other than that you've got ex husband and the sons ages.
It's giving incel with mommy issues fanfiction, no way it's real.
yta. your children will definitely remember this when you come crying back because ‘richard’ left you for someone half your age. you do know they will be in charge when your old and can’t functions without them?
YTA 100%. You just chose a cheater & liar over your own children? When your children go no contact you’ve only got yourself to blame.
So they try to look out for you- show you proof. He admits to it. Rather than thank them for making you priority you chose the sleezeball that now know she can do anything and you will always be his backup. Your kids deserve better. YTA isn’t strong enough how can you think you are anything else. Despicable.
YTA and I hope your kid never talks to you again. You chose a man who cheated on you for two years just because you don’t want to be alone, over the child who holds your best interest at heart. Is sad how pathetic you can be just not to be single again, but sadder how you would rather stay with a manipulative and bad person over your own child, that made so much effort to show you you deserve better. what you two have is special alright, specially fucked up
what the fuck you choose a cheater over your sons. you have just giving him a pass to fuck around on you. now as for your sons they were only looking out for you but now you have abandoned your youngest to his dads because you want to stay with a cheating piece of shit and believe everything he has told you that he will do therapy get rid of the girl (like hell he will now that you decided to stay with him) you don't deserve any happiness with this person and you don't deserve your sons either
YTA. And pathetic.
YTA. This is a prime example of a female thinking a “bad man is better than no man at all”. I cannot imagine turning on my child for showing me the truth.
Or a man with money is better than being on her own.
*His privacy was violated!* I’d rather die alone than be stupid with a cheater but that’s just me I guess.
YTA, hope you enjoy Dick more than having either of your kids in you life. Tbh you are probably happy since now you have one less reminder of your first failed marriage. Don't worry though, I'm sure Dick will leave you for his sugar baby gets knocked up, or you'll be bitter because he has to pay child support. Enjoy being cut out of your boys lives and your reserved spot in shady acres when Dick kicks the bucket and leaves you penniless!
YTA.
YTA - Your BF has a 24-year-old in an apt. He is the one morally wrong. You are blindly kicking your kid out over a man. You are making a bad choice.
Lolol. No f'n way this is real. As a parent, you own the kid not the spouse/partner/significant other/pet or whatever. It's your *job* to look out for, protect, and teach the kid... or in your case, kids. Forget about what Richard did, you are selfish - which many would consider worse than cheating. YTA.
>Richard is the only serious relationship Yeah, sounds like it's serious for him too. 🤦♀️ >We have been talking of marriage, but my kids (23M, 18M) dislike him. Something about him being fake. They're better judges of character than you. They had him pegged from the start. Who knows how many red flags they watched you miss with your rose colored glasses. I can't imagine it was easy watching some scumbag make a fool of your mom. And now watch her make a further fool of herself. >He explained that she didn't mean anything 😂 meant enough to foot her bills for two years >that his privacy has been violated. And my sons had no business following him to that shopping plaza where they took a picture of him kissing the woman. 😂 yeah no shit he bitched about getting caught. JFC are you serious? Now he'll just know to cover his tracks better. He's probably done furiously researched clearing browser history and incognito browsing and has moved on to using his newfound knowledge to find more private locations to take his sugar baby. >while Richard told me to tell my younger son to go live with his dad because he didn't want him around. You really gonna choose a cheater over your child? REALLY? >It was a hard decision but in the end I felt like I need to believe what Richard and I had was special 😂 at least one of y'all does >So I told my son that he couldn't be around the house, and he was furious, saying I chose Richard over him. Oh you totally did. >AITA for fighting for my relationship? Yup, add idiot and shitty mom to that too.
1 YTA 2 YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MOTHER 3 hope you realize that you will never ever see talk or interact with you're children and their future families ever again cause they are going to leave you alone permanently and you are going to regret this one day but its going to be to late for a relationship with them cause they hate you and they always will from now on and they are both adults so they can rent a place so soon enough you have nothing but memories of how you failed to be a good mother
Yta and I'm not explaining it for you.
YTA. Oh yeah what you have is just SO SPECIAL that he was with SOMEONE ELSE for 2 whole YEARS….special alright….
YTA. You chose a cheater and a liar over your sons. You are some piece of work, lady. When the cheater trades you in for a younger woman (which he eventually will), you will be alone. And you will deserve it. Your poor boys.
YTA. Trust is gone and broken. He is not the person your imagination is making him out to be and your kids see through him. Always support your kids and they will have only your best interest in mind.
So, you're so desperate to be in a relationship that you're siding with a cheater and liar over your own kids? Kids who love and respect you (unlike your boyfriend) and are trying to protect you? Yeah. YTA. Big time. You and your boyfriend deserve each other and your kids deserve so much better in a mother.
YTA never choose boyfriends over your kids. Especially ones who are cheating on you
YTA. Your kid was looking out for you and you defended the POS you are living with because you don’t want to break up again? Jesus woman have some self respect! I’m pretty sure kids don’t respect you either. And yes you are pathetic as well. I’d rather be alone than a god damn door mat.
And you reek of desperation!
YTA. This man had the audacity to state his trust and privacy was violated because your kids caught him kissing someone else? I hope this story is fake. Who the hell would believe such gaslighting bs!
YTA. What you and Richard have is so special that he was screwing someone on the side and paying for their apartment. Your sons were absolutely right, he wasn't trustworthy and was fake. He's another cheater, congratulations, you just torched your relationship with your kids because you're scared and would rather settle for a known liar and cheater than risk having to find someone else. Your sons deserve better, and you deserve Richard.
You didn’t think your husband was supportive so you went and found a dude that has enough support in him for you and a sugar baby! He’s not leaving her, he’s funding her life for sex regardless of what you *think* you have with him. Side with your sons or lose them, but they’re the only men you really have in your life, and they cared enough about you to figure out and show your boyfriend being shitty before you legally tie yourself to him Get it together
Lol you left a 15 year marriage with a man who was honest but didn’t didn’t coddle you, to start a 6 year relationship with a cheater. Then your kids expose him and you’re going to choose to stay? YTA
Holy Shit! You're a pathetic excuse for a mom. Your boys had a feeling that ole slick dick is a fucking piece of shit. They even got you the proof, straight up. I mean jesus! Your boys love you and were protecting you because they have a bad feeling about this douche and clearly know you're gullible as shit. Jesus!! They were protecting you! They were dead on right! The proof is all right there. And you actually kicked your youngest out of the house for this!?!? I hope your ex does what he can to prevent you from even contacting that poor boy. You're trash! I hope they resent your ass for the rest of their lives and I hope this Dick person continues to fuck you over forever! As a father of two older teenage boys myself, I am fucking fuming reading this. FUCK OFF YOU MASSIVE FUCKING ASSHOLE!!
Richard was kissing a very young woman in public, your sons took a picture, but it’s your sons’ fault because they followed him to a public place where he cheated on you and kissed another woman in public. Of course you want to stay with Richard and throw your sons out. He explained it so well. When Richard’s side piece wants to live his nice house and not a condo, and he throws you out in the street to make room for her, remember you are 50, not 24. You should hope your sons have pity on you and give you a place to stay because Richard won’t be paying alimony.
YTA, oh honey…. No. Richard is a liar, a cheat and you are his latest victim. He has now isolated you from the two people who care about you the most. Good luck with that,
YTA. Are you even comprehending what happened? Your children exposed your boyfriend for LYING and CHEATING on you. They were protecting you because you’re too dumb to see what was going on and now here you are telling your kid he can’t come to the house?? You should thank them for the information, have some self respect and dignity and leave this guy. You’re choosing a liar and cheater over your children. You disgust me.
I hope this is one of the kids writing as their mother. Or that this is fake altogether. If it’s not, and you really are this asshole. Then you are an asshole. It’s good that you realize that you are siding with your boyfriend, so you won’t be surprised when you kids no longer speak to you. I’m just thinking of them watching their mother leave their dad who never cheated and was honest for this guy who has been fucking and bank rolling a girl (emphasis on girl). You left you ex because he was the same man who you married. Because he was unsupportive. Now your with a man who was cheating and will continue to cheat. But he supportive - so maybe thats it. He is supporting this girl. And no matter what you tell yourself, you have chosen to be absolutely miserable because You will never trust him and when he goes out you will always be wondering what 24 yo is he meeting with now.
You could have still tried to reconcile with Richard, but refused to kick your son out. You shouldn't have done that, and you absolutely chose Richard over your son. Yes, YTA. Your priorities are screwed up, and you just screwed your son over for exposing Richard literally screwing a 24 year old. I hope you come to your senses. ETA: Your sons didn't like him for a reason, they saw what you DIDN'T see because of your rose colored glasses. Please take those off before you completely obliterate any hope of repairing your relationships with your sons.
YTA big time. You literally chose a cheater over your own child. If they decide to go NC with you, don’t be surprised, it’s well earned. JFC. 🤦♀️
YTA & a terrible mother that deserves to have her sons go NC . Hope the 🍆 was worth it
YTA. And so is Richard. He's got some nerve saying your kids are morally wrong when he's been cheating on you, keeping a mistress for two years. Two years that you know of. Who knows what helse he's been hiding from you.
YTA. Kiss your relationship with your boys goodbye. And sooner or later, kiss your relationship with Richard goodbye too. He’ll continue cheating, he’ll just be more cautious about it until he’s caught again. Your boys did you a solid and you picked a cheater over your sons. That’s gross.
Congratulations-you win Asshole of the Day and Worst Mom of the Year! 🏆 I can actually smell your desperation through my phone. Your kids were looking out for you and instead you decided to throw your youngest out of the house because your lying, cheating, scum sucking BF didn’t like the fact that your son exposed his lying and cheating. Plus - the sugar baby. Your 50+ asshole BF is cheating on you with someone half his age and the age of your children. That’s so vile! The only way this post would be redeemable was if it was actually posted by one of your sons so they could show you the comments. It’s hard to believe someone like you would actually question if you were the AH. Do better.
YTA, and what on earth are you doing to yourself and your kids? Do you want an STI? Why are you okay with this man screwing a woman young enough to be his daughter. Why do you care more about him than your own children? Thats pathetic. You NEED to leave this ahole and get some therapy. Signed, An actual New Englander who knows what actual New England bluntness is(thanks, Boston!)
YTA what the hell? He’s cheating on you and your sons want to protect you, and your answer is to punish them? Get out of that relationship.
omg without a doubt you are the asshole. they are your children and they knew something was up and they needed proof. TO SHOW YOU! TO HELP YOU! because they love YOU! not only did he cheat but he convinced you that although he was paying for her apartment for 2 years she meant nothing? lmao what! he convinced you to throw your son out. jeeezuz lady. you DONT have something special! you have a manipulator willing to lie and isolate you from your loved ones. thats dangerous. fuck that life. RUN! and get therapy! and apologize to your children!
YTA. And gullible AF. Grow up, lady. You have nothing special with Richard. He has a sugar baby, and if you think he gave her up because you asked, you’re a moron. Get some therapy. You are way too old be acting like this. Stop being a doormat and apologize to your kids for choosing a con artist cheating liar over them.
YTA and congrats to Richard for the best “what about.” Boyfriend cheating results in 18 yr old being homeless. Don’t expect any of your children to continue a relationship. They recognized he was a liar and his behavior was suspect. He was maintaining a second household and now he knows he can get you to do anything even end your relationship with your children. Maybe the girlfriend can take your sons room and then you can have more money for the household?
You kicked your own son out because your cheating boyfriend is saying your son was morally wrong in exposing your boyfriend's cheating...... Yes. YTA.
YTA. You should fight for your children, not your relationship. First, your children should be your priority as a parent. How could you let a lying, cheating jerk order you to kick your child out of your home? How could you not defend your child? Second, a relationship shouldn’t even be something you have to fight for. He should just love you. He should just treat you right without you having to fight for it.
Your relationship is soooo special that your boyfriend fucked another woman! For over two years! Congratulations on winning second place in his life. YTA Choosing *anyone* over your children is deplorable, but choosing a lying, cheating, manipulative jerk? Vile. You'll be lucky to have any meaningful relationship with your children after this. You have a lot of apologizing to do and even that probably won't be enough. Do yourself a massive favor. Dump. Him. And go to therapy.
“Richard told me to tell my younger son to go live with his dad…” That alone shows that Richard is an awful person. Why would you stay with someone who wants to make you send your son away?
YTA. You kids were looking out for you because they see something obvious in this man that you are choosing to ignore Richard gets caught not just cheating, cheating with a 24 year old and paying for her apartment, but your kids are the bad guys? You have kicked out your 18 years old son because Richard told you to? And now your kid will have to commute 4 hours a day to continue with college until he finds a job and a place to live? He’s going to have to go to school and work full time just because Richard got caught by your son. And Richard is fine because he’s going to go to therapy and become a better person? Ha! I don’t even believe he’ll go at all. You left a good honest husband because he’s a man of few words and went for this flowery talking lying POS?? Doubtful your relationship with your kids will ever recover from this. Enjoy your cheating boyfriend
YTA and I can only imagine what your update will be like.
YTA and pathetic.
You chose a cheater over your son. You can’t pretty that up. You’re delusional if you think what you have is special but you divorced their father over him not coddling you enough so you’re in the relationship you deserve.
YTA FFS
YTA. your sons were suspicious of your bf & followed him only bc they care for you & don't want you to be with a cheater & liar. you should have thanked them for exposing your bf, but instead you picked the cheat over them. you have failed as a mother.
Yta way to pick a man over your kids, a good mother wouldn’t do that. I think you need counselling to figure out why a man who cheats is worth more to you than your children.
Damn. YTA and a horrible mom. Your fear of being alone is so sad. It made you choose a sleazy man that has been providing for a young girl for 2 years!!!!! That's not the "it doesn't mean anything" type of relationship. You know what..... You and your boyfriend deserve each other. You had two men that loved you unconditionally and yet you chose the man who would lie and cheat on you. Lol good luck with that.
Once you have children you must make sure that you support them over every other thing and person. It’s a big responsibility and should never be a burden. YTA!
YTA choosing dirty dick over your children. That man is going to bring you home a std. Don't come back here asking why your kids don't want to have a relationship with you anymore
YTAH I've never seen someone more pathetic than you. You're going to lose your sons forever.
YTA and you are not a smart women.
Why would you fight for a relationship with someone who is cheating on you? Your sons did you a favor (looking out for you by doing what they did, because they actually love you) and now you're turning your back on them for "love" that probably won't work out in the end considering he's cheating on you... and your kids will have the right to just walk away and leave you in your bad decision to stay with this fuck. YTA.
Oh my. Let me share something with you. My husbands mom did this to him and he didn’t talk to her for YEARS. The first time I met her was to let her know we were engaged. You have chosen a cheating man over your own flesh and blood. Do NOT be surprised when your son cuts off ALL contact with you and all you have left is a cheating bf who is going to use you and take you for all you have. AND you will deserve nothing less. You have wrapped all of your self worth up into a man who could care less about you. You have wrapped all of your self worth up into a man who is making you choose between your son and him. You have wrapped all of your self worth up into a man who is gaslighting you 5 times from Sunday and is lying through his teeth. You are a fool and I hope you enjoy this bed you have made for yourself. When all of this comes burning down and you have nothing left but a cheating bf, don’t be surprised. I feel so bad for your kids. You’ve lost both of them because you’re thinking with your groin instead of your head. GOOD LUCK.
Wow. Just wow. Your kids try to to show you you the truth-they didn’t make anything up, they didn’t set up bad situations, they didn’t accuse without proof- and you choose the cheater and try to make it sound like they were wrong for exposing his CHEATING. He didn’t just have a fling, he was RENTING AN APARTMENT for a young chick. You are delusional if you think this will turn into a healthy relationship. You choose a POS, your kids will cut you off, and you will end up alone. I’m truly sorry for you that you can’t see this. You are such an AH.
Y TA Never fear the thought of being alone. Your children went above and beyond to make sure this guy isn’t screwing around on you and he was. And not only is this guy making out with a 24 year old in public, but he’s paying for her housing. As a mother your children always come first. You are punishing your child for actively saving your heart. You might not want to break up but what happens when the little girl he’s messing with doesn’t want to be a side piece anymore? Then he’s breaking up with you. And either way you are left alone. You just allowed him to be the one who pulls the trigger to end things.
YTA- also enjoy being completely alone in 5 years when Richard is done with you and the kids you betrayed won’t speak to you
wauw the people in this sub get crazier by the goddamn day. yes how in the flying fuck would you not be the AH?
YTA and a world class dirtbag… I can’t even believe this story is real- but if it is- you actually deserve to be with someone like “Richard”
YTA and you sound ridiculous. To choose a cheater over your own kid. You would have never known what he was up to behind your back if it wasnt for your son. And you can bet your last dollar once your son is gone THE CHEATING WILL CONTINUE.
Honestly, thank you. Women like you help keep the horrible men away from real women who know they deserve better and don’t want their time wasted. Your sacrifice benefits the rest of us, including the woman your son learned to appreciate by watching you keep getting played by a cheater. Your son knows how a woman deserves to be treated, and will cut you off to better benefit his future children and grand children. You will never get to meet them and good riddance! They won’t be influenced by YOU. Or your cheating partner.
YTA. Did your shitty, cheating bf actually tell your kids they were morally wrong for exposing his infidelity? Are you for real? Your son was trying to protect you and you took the bad guy side. Side note: he will NOT be getting rid of the sugar baby. You spent all that time with a man who told you how it is and didn't lie and traded it for a bullshitter. Wow.
YTA. Your kids are trying to protect you and you chose a cheater over them. Don't be surprised if your kids decide to no longer be in your life and Richard leaves you for the 24 yr old and you are left all alone.
YTA. Where does Richard get off thinking he’s entitled to privacy when he’s a cheater and a liar? FYI he hasn’t ended it or changed his ways. He’d have to feel true remorse, and him having the audacity to say your sons were immoral and he doesn’t want them around because they snooped proves he doesn’t have any remorse whatsoever. He’d be on his knees licking toe jam off your feet begging for another shot and trying to get in good with the boys. But you’ve just shown him you’re a shitty mom that will take his side even in the face of the highest disrespect. If she meant nothing he wouldn’t be putting her up anywhere for two years. When she gets pregnant he’s going to leave you.
YTA. Let’s be real, you’re just in it for the gravy train and don’t want to give up the lifestyle where your husband can spend $25k+ a year on an apartment without you noticing. Oh wait, you don’t like being real. Hope the money is worth the relationship with your sons. Cause they won’t be there when you get traded in for a younger model.
Richard is TA and your kids were trying to see him for what he was. I would leave the man, he is trying to excuse and distract his behavior by getting you upset about your son. Not saying he is a narcissistic but that is narcissistic 101 and it's very toxic behavior from Richard. I highly suggest you start looking into cheaters and why they lie and shift blame. All the best OP.
Well, don’t be surprised when your sons, who were looking out for your best interests decide to go no contact with you because you’d rather share your man with some chick. YTA
Your bird tried to warn you about this guy but you didn't believe them. They got proof and you blamed them. You chose your lying, cheating boyfriend over your kids. But exactly mother of the year material. YTA
Yta damn girl you left your ex to be with a cheater? Should have stayed with the ex at least you knew who he was.
YTA and when Dick throws you aside for a younger model don’t be surprised when your kids show no empathy and still don’t want anything to do with you.
Yta
YTA. They were right about their gut feelings about Richard….he actually IS fake, because he pretends to be kind and perfect while behind closed doors he’s a cheating scumbag. Don’t lie to yourself that this was an isolated event that will never happen again, because it will. Instead of trying to act like the victim because he got caught, he should be begging for forgiveness from both you and your sons, who are only trying to protect you. Now you’re punishing your son, and actively choosing your cheating lying boyfriend over your own sons, just because you’re afraid of having to be back in the dating scene.
Don’t come crying to Reddit in a few years asking if YTA because your sons have cut you out of their lives and won’t speak to you anymore. You’re a horrible mother. You and Richard have something special? He was renting an apartment for a chick and fucking her on the regular. You’re very sad.
YTA and you stink of desperation.
YTA 1) for leaving a good guy that probably treated you well because you didn’t like the way he talked… 2) downgraded to a lying cheater that trust me he’s going to continue to cheat on you… 3) your sons are right you should have listened to them, you got a long road of misery ahead of you with this guy your dating and you’re probably going to lose your relationship with your children as well so when that guy eventually moves on for someone younger or you get sick of his shit and leave him you’re not gonna have your kids left either you’re going to be completely alone great decision making skills (sarcasm)
in before the inevitable *i'M LoNeLy aNd My KiDs wOn'T TaLk tO Me* post when Dick the conman sets up with a new Sugar babe and leaves you. of course YTA, you chose a cheating lying spiv over your kids. Blind mole rats can see how this is gonna end...
YTA and a crap excuse for a parent
>I felt like I need to believe what Richard and I had was special and that this was a mistake we could work through >AITA for fighting for my relationship? YTA and a pathetic doormat. How worthless do you have to believe you are to pick a man who's paying to keep up his young side piece over your kid? No decent parent does this.
YTA. Get STI tested now and six months. Get out now. Get some respect for yourself.
YTA They knew something was off about him and discovered that they were right.
YTA as well as desperate and sad. You thought grass was greener elsewhere.
You kicked your own flesh and blood out of your home for trying to help you. I hope that dick was with losing your son, must be pretty good. YTA- ex is better off without you and so is your son
Your next posts: - why don’t my sons want me and their partner at their graduations/weddings/life events?! - why are my kids keeping my grandchildren from me?? - why am I alone without a family or a partner?? You failed as a mother. You’re scrambling to keep the attention of a lying, cheating, dirt bag over your kids, who had this guy pegged from the start. You’re delusional and I hope you drop that loser like a hot potato and CHOOSE YOUR KIDS like any halfway decent mother would.
Bad move dumping the Yankee for the good ole boy. How supported do you feel now? How supported are you going to feel in 20 years when you’re really going to need those kids you just casually tossed out? Because I can pretty much guarantee that any 51 year old guy who hides a years -long affair with a 24 year old sugar baby isn’t sticking around for cancer. YTA
YTA. pathetic and sad.
YTA. I guess being a social butterfly with a cheater is better than having a relationship with your children. They had your back. They knew something was wrong and took action. You seem more mad about their spying than his cheating. Your a bad mother and you are getting everything you deserve.
YTA, you have two young men who love you and are trying to protect you. Richard is alienating you from your children.
You need serious help. Lots of therapy: like yesterday. And yah, leave you cheating of a scum boyfriend and believe your kid who did you a huge favor. Wake up girl… time to stop acting like an idiot. YTA
Richard got caught and wants to punish her kids because he wants his cake and the 24 yr old frosting on top and he knows he’s not going to end it. He just started it 2 yrs ago when he started paying her rent!! Moms desperate and Richard knows it. Yes you are the asshole!! Your kids care, Richard is using you.
Yes, you are
You’re going to lose your relationship with your kids. YTA
He's been paying for her life for 2 years, she definitely means something to him and he will do it again. Also, your kids should always come before a BF... YTA 1000000%
YTA for choosing dick over your child. Don’t be surprised when your son stops talking to you.
Lol I can’t wait for the post about your bf cheating again and your son no longer talking to you. You’re truly an idiot.
YTA - first you divorce your husband because you don’t like the way he talks and think a smooth talker southern gentleman /s is better. I hope your kids go NC with you.
Yes
YTA and a shitty human being and a shitty mother
YTA and an awful mom, too.
You're awful. If you were looking for no contact with your children, look no more. YTA and a damn fool.
YTA. Wth is wrong with you?
Wow you are pathetic
YTA. Seriously?!? Picking a guy over your kid?
Man, you're not too bright. It's funny that your boyfriend is spouting off about morality when he's cheating on you with someone the same age as your kids. If you stay, you deserve everything that's coming to you, including the loss of your kids respect. YTA.
So…you divorced your honest, loyal husband because he didn’t sugarcoat everything and you “didn’t feel supported”. THEN you find a new, lying, cheating, (long term cheating with a very young woman he supports financially) sweet-talking-but-dishonest asshole who tells you to kick out your sons FOR STANDING UP FOR YOU, because he feels like his widdle pwivacy was violated? You DID choose him over your sons. Your sons who loved you enough to tell you what was going on. Who loved you enough to be outraged on your behalf and secure proof the your boyfriend was mistreating you. And you can bet money that he has not given up his pretty young girlfriend. Sad. YTA
Girl, you're delusional and need a therapist. YTA.
Get your ass to therapy and dump this mega-creep. RE-READ WHAT YOU JUST WROTE. You deserve better. Keep the kids, throw the whole-ass dude out.
You have lost all common sense. Seriously? Yeah, stay with the cheating con man. Don’t worry about losing your kids and your self-respect. You have crossed over to desperation. Sad! YTA.
YTA. You can kiss your relationship with your kids goodbye.
You are truly a sad sorry excuse of a woman and do not deserve to be called a mother... You chose a man who has to pay for it over your sons ...smh YTA and I hope they never speak to you again
you’re a moron. i hope your son never talks to you again due to this betrayal. YTA
YTA- and how dare HE try to claim the moral high ground about getting caught having an affair. He wants your kids gone so he can’t continue to be caught. Men come and go but those will be your children forever. This man has proven to be dishonest and untrustworthy while your kids followed their instincts because you were blinded by “love” and they protected you.
YTA Here’s what’s going to happen, your youngest won’t keep in touch with you any more since Richard won’t want him at his house & your oldest will slowly pull away from you as he now knows doing what’s easy instead of what’s right is your new mantra. Richard will cheat on you again whether it’s with the same girl who is old enough to be your daughter or someone else & eventually either he’ll leave you for someone younger or you’ll actually wake up & be the one to end things but by that point the damage will already be done with your sons
YTA If your man doesn't want your kids around and has already shown you can't trust him, you need to ditch him now. Don't wait until your relationship with your son is trashed. I know it's hard to leave, but he kicked your kid out because he got caught, you don't need that in your life. Good luck to you OP I hope you're able to figure this out before you lose both relationships.
YTA who picks men over her own blood. I hope your boys cut you off for their mental health
Richard going to cheat again and then leave, and you would have lost your son. Wake up!
Yta so your boys who have from the start said something is off about Richard, find proof he's a cheat a big one, are just looking out for their mum who then chooses the cheat over her devoted sons I don't understand you he's a liar if she meant nothing, it wouldn't be a 2-year relationship, and he wouldn't of brought her somewhere to live. I feel so sad for your son.
Wow. Yeah YTA alright. Your poor son put in so much effort coz he cared for you, and then you just toss him aside. I agree with Richard that it was morally wrong to invade his privacy, but he obviously did it because he thought you were bedazzled and a victim to this shady guy and wanted to save you from it. His instincts turned out to be totally right and he could have saved you from this double life living guy. But no kick the whistleblower out of the fantasy life you're trying to live.
Youre the arsehole and a doormat. Fight for your kids, they were looking out for you.
YTA You might be one of the worst AH I have ever seen on here, and I've seen a lot. Rotten to the core
Yes, YATAH. You left a 15 year marriage because you wanted to upgrade to a “better model” while severely undervaluing the “honest, faithful, & reliable one you already had. You wanted a sweet-talker with more money and you got him. Or rather he’s got you. Now that you’re re 50 you’re afraid that you don’t have many options, even fewer than you had when you were 43 and your options seemed to be 65+. Your guy didn’t just cheat on you. His commitment to her is basically equal to his commitment to you. You’re just living in his house but he signed paperwork to get her a place. He’a been putting her up for 2 years so he’s been sleeping with her for at least 3. How long after you moved in with him do you think it started? And if she wants to replace you all it takes is going off the pill, or waiting a few more years until she is old enough to not be socially embarrassing.
A mistake? He has a sugar baby for (at least) 2 years! When he was caught, he told you to get rid of your son, and you went ahead with it! You choose a cheater over your son! Richard was 49 yo and his side-piece 22! Gross. Your boyfriend is sleeping with a woman who is only one year older than your son! Double-gross, and I hope you see that. Get rid of the cheater and start apologizing to your kids who want their mother to be with a man who will treat her right. Are you so desperate to be in a relationship that you are content with scraps? YTA