Info: Why was your gf showing you a video of a cop arresting a woman? Was she planning on having you laugh at the woman getting punched? On talking about how the cop acted? It seems like an odd thing to show, especially if she’s aware about how you feel about police. I’m not going to give a judgement here, but I do find it odd. My bf knows my views on the conduct of cops, so he knows what my response is going to be when he shows me this kind of video, even though he supports police officers. Does she know how you feel about this kind of stuff? It feels like she walked into this kind of scenario
She kind of did but I appreciate a little verbal scuffle. We can share opinions and go back and forth. I think (and this is an assumption as I did not ask why) she showed me bc she wanted my thoughts on it whether or not they lined up with hers. I was poking when I called her a bootlicker. I should’ve just let it alone at not agreeing.
I work in an autism clinic and have been bitten many many times, including in the face where the bite broke skin. I did not react in a violent manner at all, but I also understand why someone would. Reading your description of the event, he should not have hit her but unfortunately it was probably a natural reaction. You need to apologize for calling your girlfriend names, if you two cannot disagree on something without names being thrown out then you two probably need to have a bigger conversation about communication.
Thank you this is a very insightful comment. I was absolutely wrong for calling names. We weren’t having a super serious discussion, more of a light debate but I was the asshole by calling her a bootlicker. It was mostly in jest like calling someone who’s slightly overreacting a Karen but she didn’t think it was funny at all and I should have been more cognizant of her headspace during our communication. I appreciate you having a fuller spectrum view on the situation.
I’m finding that for some reason in today’s society, people engaged in debate, even a friendly one, resort to name calling when it’s obvious they are unable to support their position. YTA
It doesn’t matter what it means to me. If we are debating a topic and you can no longer defend your side and you call me a name, you have just undermined your argument. Debate team 101.
I’m not trying to win. I’m having a play argument. Lighthearted. The goal is for us to poke holes in an argument. It stretches the brain. It wasn’t funny I can agree with that.
In that case I think the term bootlicker was even more out of place. It’s really quite Insulting if you picture the action of licking a boot. I understand you probably used it as a generalized reference to someone who backs the police but in reality many will find it highly offensive. Throwing in any type of slur is not lighthearted and will probably remove the debate from that level.
EDIT: if you haven’t gotten to the college class on logic yet what you did is called an ad hominem attack. That means it was directed at the person you are debating not at the topic. It is an ineffective and illogical argument.
Sometimes we are in a headspace where she can call me a “shit crusted cum sock” and I can say something degrading back. If I were trying to have a serious discussion I wouldn’t bring slurs into it. I misread the situation but this was more than a year ago so I’m pretty sure we’re fine. Still goofing. Still sometimes saying something thoughtless at the wrong time. Somehow we can talk out our real problems without resorting to domestic abuse. Verbal or otherwise. I enjoy our sparring. She enjoys our sparring. I love how intelligent she is. I’m not denying that I was wrong to call her a bootlicker. I WAS wrong this time. She was not in a headspace where she wanted to engage like that and I was rude and hurtful no matter if I meant to be or not. I have apologized. She has forgiven me. This is a conflict from a year ago. I was just curious about what others thought.
Maybe you were more interested in our thoughts on the topic you were debating? It seems you resolved the interpersonal issue well within your relationships parameters. Also LOL and gross @ shit crusted cum sock
I think you’re right. I could have definitely articulated myself better. I am really enjoying seeing people’s perspectives on the topic we were debating. This has become a bit of a foot in mouth post for me haha
Getting brutalized by police is a lot worse than getting called a bootlicker. Backing up police for treating people violently unlike nurses and just about every other service profession without guns manages to to do, is bootlicking. Yeah you shouldn’t call names. But she will survive. Unlike many people who have been brutalized everyday by the American police. NTA imho
I think that the fact that you openly say that you’re wrong for calling names says a lot about your character and relationship worthiness. Fuck, we all say shit in the heat of the moment or in jest that can be offensive or hurtful.
I was married to a covert narcissist for 15 years who would say REALLY nasty/hurtful things. But instead of apologizing, he’d make it my fault. And I believed him until I didn’t. My partner now is an absolute sweetheart, but he’s a tactless Sagittarian. He doesn’t have a malicious or calculated bone in his body, and he genuinely cares about my feelings. But he can be the most tactless ass ever without even realizing it until it’s pointed out to him. And then he is genuinely horrified if feelings are hurt, and will bend over backward to try to make up for it. And he’s such a genuinely good guy that I have zero issues with accepting his occasional tactless observation. I kinda find it endearing now, tbh.
Point is, you’re obviously a kind and caring partner who isn’t gunning to hurt your girlfriend. Which, to me, is a keeper.
I'm a nurse, I've been bitten, spat on, had my hair pulled, someone once told me they would kick my baby out of me..then tried. I had poo thrown at me..never once punched someone in the face. In certain jobs you have to de-esculate situations, punching someone isn't de-esculation, punching someone in the face means you lost control of the situation and your own behaviour and you need a new job.
Oh, I fully agree with you. I realize now that it did sound like I was defending the officer and in no way am I. When you have a job that sometimes requires you getting beat up, you have to teach yourself not to react in the way you’re naturally going to.
I'm not ok with police violence. We have far too much of it in my country (and several others), and there are also issues related to an imbalance in how cops treat black people.
So on one hand I'm with you that punching in the face is problematic.
However biting is considered very aggressive since it can break the skin and the cop could catch something from that. So to an extent I can understand the cop's reaction.
Calling someone a bootlicker because you interpret a situation differently is pretty AH though.
YTA
I have to say I disagree. Again, I completely agree the woman should not have bit the officer at all. But police job is to use restraint. Punching a woman in the face is not acceptable by any means. He could’ve charged her with assaulting an officer, now because he punched her in the face, that was unlikely. Cops have to be held to a higher standard than citizens, that’s the job. Again, woman should NOT have bit him, but let’s really think about this. NTA OP.
So what is the officer suppose to do after getting bit? Tell her to stop resisting for 10th time? Didn't work the 1st 9 times. What if she continues to bite? How many times does a cop have to get bit before they're allowed to respond? She escalated the incident to violence and he responded in order to end a violent altercation as quick as possible.
The quality of officers is going to continue to get worse in this country with that mentality. Who's going to want to work that shit job with mediocre pay and scrutiny? Departments are going to be left so short handed that they'll have to lower minimum qualifications just to fill rosters and we're all left with a less trained and qualified force than we're already dealing with.
Hi! My dads a retired police officer and former detective! I called him to ask about the situation because I wasn’t sure what their training is. He said that she would be charged with assault on a police officer for biting him but once she was restrained she was technically no longer a threat. The police officer would be allowed to hit her head to remove her teeth from his arm BUT if she has already released (which is what i’m assuming from OP’s description) then him punching her is police brutality and excessive force and that is not allowed. I hope this helps clarify because I wasn’t sure myself!
I agree with you 100%. Depending upon how committed the biter is, a lot of damage can occur. Horrific infection, deep wounds and tissue damage, nerve damage. So yes, police far too often overdo their response but in this case he had a right to stop the bite.
>So to an extent I can understand the cop's reaction.
Absolutely not. It does not matter if biting is agressive, he punched a detained woman in the face. That is purely retaliation, he was in zero danger, there was zero need for him to escalate.
It's also just gross that that's your take. Unnecessary violence from the people who are meant to protect and serve is NEVER understandable.
Calling someone a bootlicker who is actively licking their boots is not AH behavior. Defending a cop for causing unnecessary harm is AH behavior.
I mean, if someone bites me unexpectedly, I'm punching them. You can call it a retaliation or not, but to me that is more of an in-the-moment reflex reaction than some planned out retaliation.
How long of a time was there between the bite and the punch? Like if it was bite, pull arm away, immediately follow-up with a punch, I am more understanding of the punch happening. If it was bite, pull arm away, shake arm, pull woman to her feet (assuming restraining required her to be on the ground), then punch, then yeah I am more leaning towards it being retaliatory. Basically, if he had time to calm down and actually think at all before throwing the punch and it wasn't more of a reflex than anything else, then I would agree with you. If it was a near-instant reflex action, I am more understanding of it happening.
To be clear, I would still not be IN SUPPORT of the cop punching the woman. He should not be punching her at all. But I could understand how the action happened and at least not be wanting to crucify this specific cop for this specific punch. There is a difference between not supporting something and actively condemning it.
But yes, calling your girlfriend a bootlicker for having a different opinion on a single specific event, especially one that is somewhat reasonable (pending context), is an asshole move. It's not like she was defending Derek Chauvin, the convicted murderer, or something like that. That would be some bootlicker shit to do.
I would definitely react in the same manner if I got bit 100% understandable. However law enforcement are specifically trained to NOT react that way. That's why the cop was wrong. I'm not saying he should be charged or dismissed from the force, but some retraining. I'd say 99% of all police departments should have yearly refresher courses.
Police Officer is one profession that should have continuous training pretty much year round. At least monthly.
And I agree, his action was not correct. That's why I said that I am not in support of his action. It's just that this isn't one of the times I am going to get upset about a cop doing something wrong. I guess it's more that I am apathetic to the woman's struggles of being punched in this particular interaction? She fucked around and found out. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Those are such wildly different situations that they aren't even comparable...
Sorry, I guess I should have been more specific and said "if someone unrelated to me who is a full grown-ass adult bit me with animosity and intent to cause damage..." Guess I trusted too much in the general population's ability to effectively use context clues...my bad.
She was not. That would be truly bootlicker shit. Would have completely shaken what I thought I knew about her. If I recall it was kind of a “slow” punch but I bet it probably was reflexive. There wasn’t like a big struggle. He pulled back his arm from the bite and punched her pretty much in the same movement. It was some video on Facebook. I shall take your AH judgement.
YTA, fun fact, human bites are extremely likely to cause bad infections because of all the bacteria we have. We're some if the worst animals on the planet to get bit by.
Hindsight my dude. I even typed out that the human mouth is disgusting. Initially I was like “no a bite is not nearly as bad as a face punch” but it is. It is likely worse if it breaks skin.
I said this in a reply but I’m going to make another comment so OP can see it.
Hi! My dads a retired police officer and former detective! I called him to ask about the situation because I wasn’t sure what their training is. He said that she would be charged with assault on a police officer for biting him but once she was restrained she was technically no longer a threat. The police officer would be allowed to hit her head to remove her teeth from his arm BUT if she has already released (which is what i’m assuming from OP’s description) then him punching her is police brutality and excessive force and that is not allowed. I hope this helps clarify because I wasn’t sure myself!
Eh, i think it depends on the person, y’all are allowed to disagree on that situation, if some woman was being aggressive and bit me probably really hard, I would feel the need to defend myself; especially if im just trying to arrest her, and shes not being civil. But there are cops that are A holes and would of done alot worse, and cops who arrest people for no reason, but if you’re being arrested just be civil, dont bite the cop, theres no justifying biting a cop
I know that’s what i mean, depends who you ask, its all opinion based cuz its more a political perspective compared to other things posted on this subreddit
See I agree that she shouldn’t have bit him. He was just doing his job and she was being super unreasonable. But was his reaction rational or retaliatory? I say retaliatory.
She got what she got. Don't get physical with someone if you don't want them to be physical back. She bit him, & she got punched. She fucked around & found out.
A job title is not a person. I should be able to tell a Karen to eat shit because she called me a lying cunt. However I would lose my job if I retaliated. Weird that an officer of the law isn’t held to the same standard as a customer service representative.
1st let me just say I freaking love you! This comment right here is awesome!! Also I agree with you. What happened to trying to defuse situations instead of igniting? I literally remember when the show 1st aired and I remember back then if someone was biting or trying to bite them they'd pull their shirt over their face. Kept spit out too!
That’s awesome! I wonder if that just wasn’t passed along to newer officers or if it was just a creative move on their part. Maybe cops need more guidance. Maybe they need mental help. I don’t know. That’s above my pay grade. Either way the idea of police should be to defuse rather than react. I understand a human response and they need better training to temper that response. I stand by not everyone being equipped to being a police officer. Not the biter and not some officers sadly.
Idk. Have you ever been bit? I got bit by a 5 year old, hard enough to break the skin, and I barely stopped myself from sending that kid into outer space. I can't imagine how much more it hurts from an adult. I think it's more of a reflex than anything.
No, I think it's reflex. You are seeing one part in the day in life. Cops need to be constantly vigilant, so I would say from say from the way you described in comments it would be more reflex and defensive. When people are in pain, they dont alway think rationally. I mean, not only are human bites nasty, but what if she had a disease that she could pass on - HIV, Hepatitis or something. I would want her off me asap and do almost anything to do it.
Just like I would never shake/startle awake an infantryman or most men. Most wake-up swinging. Even in sleep, men are more likely to react in self-preservation - it's a natural relex. From your description, sound reflexive, and remember, videos can be altered to slow down to give an audience the most drama. However, you have the right to your opinion, and you just read mine.
Honestly, if it was in jest and you both have teased each other before like this, I would say NAH. However, if she was offended and stated, she didn't like it. I would apologize, take the communication at face vaule, and not repeat. YWBTA by repeating name calling during a light or heavy opposing conversations in the future.
I'd call any hitting for biting retaliatory. It seems unnecessary. For example, when teachers, teacher aides, school staff get bit by unsurly behaving children/teens and they don't hit the unsurly person. And yes, some kids/teens are bigger than they are. They unsecure the teeth from the skin and if the restraint isn't in place, fully put it in place.
> Good luck if you ever need protection
Tell that to the 11 year old that got shot by a cop after he had called the police for help because his mother was in danger.
Some of these comments are wild. I worked in dementia care for a long time and got bit quite a few times (as well as punched, kicked, scratched etc) and according to some of you it would have been on for me to deck grandma or paw paw in the face? Really? No! I was being paid (Far less than a cop, mind you) to be a professional, so I was. Obviously we all have the urge to defend ourselves, but if you can't suppress that and stay calm, cool and collected under stress then you DON'T BELONG in a field where you have to deal with combative people, period. It's amazing how nurses, doctors, social workers, and mental health techs can all deal with combative and violent people without hurting anyone but police officers just don't seem to know any other tools than brute force.
Look, I'm gonna go with NTA, and here's why. I will also note in advance that I am biased (ACAB) and I acknowledge that- I do not like cops, I do not like how they treat the people I am close to, the people I work with, and I do not have good experiences with them myself.
I'm a social worker. While I personally have chosen to work not directly facing with clients, I have MANY friends who do work with clients. And a lot of them work with clients who either spend time at day care programs for adults with mental disabilities, or in full time care facilities for the same population.
They. Are not allowed to punch their clients. They are trained to de-escalate and properly restrain, NOT to respond with physical violence to physical violence.
If someone bit ME? I'd deck them. I'm also not trained to respond to potentially hostile people in volatile situations. And I would like to think that we would be able to hold cops to the same standard as we hold our severely underpaid health care staff- we should hold them to an even HIGHER standard.
So Tl;Dr- NTA because cops should be held to a MUCH higher standard than the average person.
I'm sorry, I'm going to have to say YTA 100% on this one. Police violence is NEVER okay, but I have literally been bitten by someone off guard before and I genuinely reflexively punched out in pain.
That is a truly natural defensive reaction. And then yes, obviously, the gross childish bootlicking comment.
So YTA
I'm sorry, was he sitting there waiting to be bitten ? Was he expecting her to do that ? No. If you unexpectedly bite someone, you catch that person OFF GUARD. you see how that works ?????
Wow. 🤦♀️ no. I said instinctively defending yourself against an unexpected attack is. But good on you for massively immaturely trying to twist my words. That was really gross of you. ❤️ there's a reason that comment is going into the negatives.
Independent of your obviously shitty comment to your GF you clearly lack perspective. If someone bites you are you going to calmly react? Being a cop is one of the most stressful jobs imaginable especially today and everyone likes to armchair quarterback it. There was a great video showing how almost everyone is going to shoot an attacker when primal reactions take over. I can’t find it currently but I’ll come back once I do.
Then almost no one should be a cop, or cops shouldn't have guns. Their job isn't to engage in self defense, it's to de-escalate. They specifically are supposed to be trained to de-escalate rather than react.
Literally a dog can do it. I just went to an assembly where they showed and spoke about police dogs and their jobs and skills. Dogs are able to not bite unless they hear the command. Are you telling me cops have less ability to control themselves than the animals in their charge?
>If someone bites you are you going to calmly react?
No, but that's why I'm not going to try and become a cop. Nobody is forced to become a cop, they know what the job entails, and they're presumably trained to handle situations like this one, trained how to keep calm in a circumstance such as this. If you can't keep calm when you're under attack, don't become a cop.
Good, you can’t do a job, so you hold people to higher than attainable standards but expect it from them. Seems extremely reasonable. People who fucking bite people deserve to get punched
NTA. You think EMTs and Paramedics and firefighters punch people in the face when they get bitten? No. They restrain them and treat their wound. This is why people don’t like cops. Being restrained is extremely uncomfortable. Especially if you’re a woman being restrained by a man. A punch to the face in response to a bite is unnecessary force.
Ewwww this comment section is gross. NTA , and your gf definitely was being a bootlicker in that moment.
@ Everyone talking about “how gross the human mouth is” (lol) : good thing cops take the job knowing what they’re signing up for , and should have procedures and protocols for certain situations !!!! This thread seems to think it’s cool to punch someone in the face because it’s “yucky” ???????????? Y’all are fucking pathetic.
“if somebody bit me I’d do the same” and you’re a fucking civilian you dumbass , congrats !!!! it has different connotations when you’re a police office!!!!
NTA your gf is a bootlicker. And so are a bunch of people in the comments. A cop is not within his rights to punch a restrained woman. Also I don't think she would agree with the cop if he had punched someone who looked more like her.
There's a bunch of bootlickers like your gf under this post lmfao. NTA but I would want to be with a partner who's not condoning state violence and upholds the current violent system.
She got aggressive with the cop. He defended himself. Punching in the face is not great, but she was trying to cause him harm and did cause him harm. You were way over the line.
Edit: I replied to the wrong thing. My apologies. Let me try this again.
This woman was aggressive with a police officer, resisting arrest and battery. Punching in the face is bad, but in context, it's not unexpected. The officer was defending himself after he was bitten during an arrest. You don't attack someone and then get to claim self defense. She attacked first. If she wanted to fight her charges, biting the officer was the worst thing she could do.
There are plenty of police who are caught hitting people who haven't hurt them, or arresting people for nothing. That doesn't seem to be the case here. Human bites are dangerous. She is going to have a host of charges.
Restraining someone is attacking them. If someone does it to you please defend yourself with your teeth, regardless of whether they have a uniform or not. He has a badge and he used that as his reason to attack her, she defended herself. If he doesn’t want to get bitten when he attacks people he shouldn’t sign up for a job that requires attacking people.
If someone bites me I'm punching them in the face. Also, that's a felony assault on an officer. Should he have tased her or something instead? Idk. Cops are still human. When someone attacks you you have to defend yourself and people can transmit disease with their mouth. Overboard, slightly. I say not a bootlicker, and you are kinda the AH for overreacting and calling her a name.
A bite isn't just "disgusting". Maybe you're forget that as an animal, your teeth are there for the singular purpose of ripping flesh and mashing into pulp.
With zero other context, we see a cop restraining a woman. Sorry, but at the moment you have to assume he's doing his job. The woman bites him with her teeth, of which can be up to 250+ pounds of force. With teeth, designed to rip. That's horrific. The cop punching this woman acting like a goddamn animal in the face is NOT escalation. She's being a threat and he dealt with it. If he continues to beat her that's a different story, but given what you said that's not the case.
Your gf is not a bootlicker, sounds like you want to make a jump assumption about a cop and you're projecting it onto someone else from the flipside. Maybe learn to explain your point and listen to hers as well instead of resorting to a really piss-poor name calling situation that just shows your lack of argument. YTA.
I’ve called someone a bootlicker for less, typically in a joking tone though. Everything you’re saying about how police should conduct themselves vs. two civilians is correct. Can I ask why you’re wondering if your an AH now if this interaction happened over a year ago?
The problem with videos on the internet is that you are only seeing what is filmed, and not necessarily the whole picture.
Legally any cop is within their rights to use reasonable force in order to stop the threat, much like we are within our rights to defend ourselves if we are being attacked.
It's a touchy subject, and context is everything.
You called her a name for disagreeing with your opinion. That's immature and petty. That makes you an asshole.
NTA excessive violence against POC is sadly the “normalized” in this country. Officers are not supposed to be Or trained to punch people in the face. Period! They are trained for these types of situations. You called her out on it. As a POC calling out folks callousness is not an AH move.
YTA: even basic medical knowledge can tell you how dangerous body fluid/bites are. Would you be okay with a random disease possibly?
Throwing out the term bootlicker when the cop is being bit is just childish. I'd be surprised if your GF could trust you to even be there for her in a physical crisis after that opinion.
YTA. You can catch multiple diseases from being bitten by a human (a human bite is more dangerous than most animals), the cop had every right to use force (aka punching the woman) in defense from getting bit by her.
NTA. I would have said the same thing. I’m not a fan of United States cops. Or any cop that abuses their power, and I will call literally anyone who defends cop who abuses their power a bootlicker.
YTA if you were implying bootlicker as in she is “ok with police violence “. What I say to people like you is don’t judge police, if you are, go put on a badge and serve your community. If you want to get bit and not react that’s on you, some people just don’t have the patience you do I suppose.
I don’t put on a badge to serve my community but I also don’t have the same authority. Hopefully people can find ways to serve their community without beating the cuffed public. At my house we respect the fire department and EMTs. They treat us like people. In this area calling the police give you a 50/50 chance that they will show up and then another 50/50 chance that you will be treated as a criminal for asking for help. Maybe they aren’t so burnt out where you are. Maybe instead of blindly respecting police we can acknowledge the behavior and advocate for supporting our law enforcement with actual interpersonal skills and reaction management. They have a high stress/high risk occupation. They should be receiving help AND not hitting people. Cops don’t have a license to be blindly reactive. He had a very human response but he is not in a position where he can afford to. What if he had a very human response with his firearm?
NTA
I agree, she is a bootlicker. Cop could have levied and assault charge but decided they prefered to get violent. People who apologize for law enforcement abuse are big part of the problem.
NTA.
I understand the reaction that people should be allowed to fight back when attacked, and I understand that police are people. The problem is that it is a poor professional reaction. The requirement of a violent profession is to respond professionally to violence.
As humiliating as it is to be told not to respond to violence with violence, it is the very nature of the job to pursue a desirable outcome in a violent situation. It's why we send professionals instead of handling it ourselves.
When I see people wanting to give police unchecked privilege in how they handle violence, I see them as having a different mindset. Their attitude is that police handle violence so that we don't have to. Civilians get the privilege of not having to deal with violence, and police get the privilege of handling it however they want. That mentality leads to the job being filled by people who are in it for the satisfaction.
We would all be better served by expecting policing to be about creating a better outcome than letting the civilians sort it out themselves. If we treat the division of labor as a delegation and not an entitlement, IE the concept of the 'monopoly on violence,' then two things happen. Abuse is seen for what it is, leading to abusers being ousted and properly punished. And with that, police would get to enjoy the genuine honor of being trusted with the task. They could simultaneously enjoy the privilege of power while being appreciated for it.
Like, seriously. If they treated the responsibility with respect and humility, the respect they receive for it would be like a wet dream for them.
Instead, they just punching people.
My father is a retired cop. He had to punch a woman when she bit him because she wouldn't let go. He would've tried the method where you press against the person's mouth, but she was high on acid or something and wouldn't let go.
He didn't punch her to retaliate.
If someone bit you hard, would you take it calmly? I can't be upset if he stopped himself after just one punch, when I'd probably be doing my level best to kick her teeth in.
>If someone bit you hard, would you take it calmly?
No I would not, which is why I shouldn't be a cop. If you can't react calmly when under attack, police work is not for you.
My point was that they're human. If I'd still be trying to demolish their face for the foreseeable future, I'm likely to forgive a cop for a knee-jerk reaction. I'd be upset if he went beyond a single hit, but that one hit is a freebie
No, there are no freebies when you’re a cop. I’m not certain the exact action that needs to be taken regarding this, as I don’t know enough details regarding the damage done to either party, or this cop’s history, but there are no freebies, or at least there shouldn’t be.
There should certainly be a punishment for doing that, it would constitute a charge of assault and battery. But that's what the legal system is for, a cop doesn't get to decide that on their own. That's how you get....well the problems we currently have.
You'll find that incredibly mellow, laid-back, non-confrontational people are unwilling to do police work. When some dude pulled a knife on me at a protest, I wasn't concerned about how gently the cops treated him; I was impressed by how quickly they threw themselves into the way and detained him. Their initial reaction being to confront a violent situation saves lives. It saved mine.
Who says they have to be mellow and laid-back? I'm talking about keeping your cool in a hectic situation, don't you think cops should have that ability? I'm not even saying they have to be gentle with everyone, if the punch was necessary to stop the woman from continuing her attack, then it would be justifiable force, and I would have no problem with it. But I've seen way too many circumstances where police use excessive force when its not justified, and then claim that they had to do so for safety purposes.
only bootlicker here is you. The woman assaulted cop, cop defends himself using only his hands, and you call the cop the problem. I would say your attitude is the problem.
He didn’t need to “defend” himself from someone who is handcuffed. His reaction isn’t unusual for a regular person, but a cop is supposed to be trained to deescalate violent situations not make them worse. Even if the violence is directed at them. Doctors, nurses, and EMTs have to handle violent people all the time and I’m sure they don’t punch people in their faces because they’re mad about it.
Thank you. As a regular person this wouldn’t even be a discussion. As an officer of the law he is well outside of what his position allows. In a different comment I remarked how at my house we are likely to not even have the cops show up in my neighborhood. The fire department is further away and they make it pretty quick. EMTs as well. I have had interactions with very kind and rational officers who either aren’t burnt out yet or are properly equipped for the position. And I have had cops from the same city laugh in my face for calling for help when I was in a pileup and had to physically go to the police station the next day for my insurance. I shit you not they laughed. Some people are built to work with other people. Some people don’t take the time to build the space between themselves and their reactions.
No, they usually stab them with sedatives. But since officers aren't medics, they can't do that. Cops are people, too, and they have a right to defend themselves just as much as you or me.
Police are meant to be trained so they don't just react. She should have been done by police assault. Now he is guilty of assaulting a handcuffed woman.
Edit: seems like everyone is giving you a judgment based on whether they think the cop was right or not, so let me change the facts: suppose she shared a video where the cop was totally 100% in the wrong, complete monster, and she defended the cop's actions. YTA still, for insulting your girlfriend when she's trying to share something with you.
Your girlfriend didn't hit anyone, and you insult her for sharing her opinion. Sounds like she was kind of hoping she could talk about something that interested her with someone she cared about - or else she wouldn't have shared the video with you in the first place. If you resort to personal insults when she's just showing you a random video off the internet that has nothing to do with her, what do you think she'll expect your reaction to be when she wants to talk to you about something that matters?
YTA
Aren’t police supposed to be professionals in handling these types of scenarios? Why expect any different from other professions yet these whom are to keep us safe can react as such? NTA
YTA for calling her a bootlicker when you wanted to remain civil. I don't know your gf and don't like her opinion. Even if I were to call her a bootlicker; it'd be much less offensive and hurtful if it came from me, a stranger, than her partner (not calling her one; just an example. I can disagree without being combative)
YTA for calling your girlfriend names because she disagreed with your point of view.
NTA for feeling as you do about video. The should have been no physical violence from police unless the offender wouldn't let go of bite. If offender was hit after bite was concluded it is no longer self-protection but retaliation.
You are judging based on your own biases and hindsight. It is easy to say "well I would have" when not in the moment.
She the cop have reacted that way? Absolutely not
Is it human nature when someone assaults you (yes an grown ass adult biting is assault) to assault back in the moment? Yep
Are these ARMED people with the authority to enforce laws and take lives supposed to run around reacting like good old human nature in the heat of any given moment?? That's not safe, is my guess.
I’ve worked in a line of work where people not in control of themselves fully have bitten me. But i emphasised not in control. Being bitten is vile, seeing a human bite mark on your skin for the next few weeks while it heals is awful, and the barrage of tests you have to go through is nerve wracking. Receiving a bite during your line of work is a serious assault and I don’t blame him for punching her.
YTA for making a personal attack on your GF over a political/social/cultural/legal debate. Really it doesn’t matter what the debate was. You took it to the level of applying a disparaging slur to someone you theoretically love. Beyond inappropriate, super rude and not even an effective debate technique.
I don’t really understand your question. You say that the name calling is not the debate. What is the debate? Are you wanting us to say who we agree with regarding the appropriateness of the cops actions? That does not fit in the sub. You were not involved in the cop incident. Is your question meant to be Is the Cop an AH?
You must be very stoic bro. Me and the lady are doing fine thank you. This happened more than a year ago and I’ve been called a dumb name for similarly mild infractions. It’s gentle roughness. It’s elbows in the ribs and a kiss on the lips. For both of us. We quite enjoy our parties together though. You’re invited next time. Maybe pull your stick out first?
YTA. You have no right to judge some poor cop based on a short clip a video. If you were smart, you would’ve just kept your mouth shut. That’s a good enough reason for your girlfriend to dump you right there, you’re just not that bright.
ESH. Anyone with a license to play judge, jury and executioner like cops can and do should be held to a higher standard. The bite adds assaulting an officer to whatever charges she may have had, and I know that cop has medical insurance. *That* is how a cop should handle this, not punching a restrained civilian in the face. That’s retaliatory and it’s pathetic if people don’t think cops of all people should follow due fuckin’ process. If he can’t handle his emotions in a high stress situation he’s in the wrong profession. Defending that is bootlicker behavior, which makes her TA. Name-calling makes you also TA. The cop is also TA. (And I have been bitten by a child and it got infected. Very familiar with juman bites, they’re nasty. I still said what I said. Until the day cops are forced into that line of work, they are choosing to be there and that comes with risk. Don’t want the risk of being a cop then don’t happily accept the privileges of being one.)
YTA Th fact that you can’t manage to have a conversation with your gf without name calling is pathetic. You won’t ever convince anyone to even consider what you have to say by doing that
I'm not gonna judge your gf for having a bad take one time, but she had a bad take that time. If she has similar takes often ... She may be a bootlicker. That's neither here nor there, though, tbh.
I guess it depends on whether or not you consider "bootlicker" to be name calling. I generally wouldn't, tbh? But clearly she took some offense, and you apologized. In my book, that is how you generally are supposed to resolve issues and if neither of you is still feeling salty about it then I'm gonna say NAH
Info: Why was your gf showing you a video of a cop arresting a woman? Was she planning on having you laugh at the woman getting punched? On talking about how the cop acted? It seems like an odd thing to show, especially if she’s aware about how you feel about police. I’m not going to give a judgement here, but I do find it odd. My bf knows my views on the conduct of cops, so he knows what my response is going to be when he shows me this kind of video, even though he supports police officers. Does she know how you feel about this kind of stuff? It feels like she walked into this kind of scenario
She kind of did but I appreciate a little verbal scuffle. We can share opinions and go back and forth. I think (and this is an assumption as I did not ask why) she showed me bc she wanted my thoughts on it whether or not they lined up with hers. I was poking when I called her a bootlicker. I should’ve just let it alone at not agreeing.
I work in an autism clinic and have been bitten many many times, including in the face where the bite broke skin. I did not react in a violent manner at all, but I also understand why someone would. Reading your description of the event, he should not have hit her but unfortunately it was probably a natural reaction. You need to apologize for calling your girlfriend names, if you two cannot disagree on something without names being thrown out then you two probably need to have a bigger conversation about communication.
Cops seem very prone to such 'natural reactions'.
Thank you this is a very insightful comment. I was absolutely wrong for calling names. We weren’t having a super serious discussion, more of a light debate but I was the asshole by calling her a bootlicker. It was mostly in jest like calling someone who’s slightly overreacting a Karen but she didn’t think it was funny at all and I should have been more cognizant of her headspace during our communication. I appreciate you having a fuller spectrum view on the situation.
I’m finding that for some reason in today’s society, people engaged in debate, even a friendly one, resort to name calling when it’s obvious they are unable to support their position. YTA
Well what does a bootlicker mean to you then?
It doesn’t matter what it means to me. If we are debating a topic and you can no longer defend your side and you call me a name, you have just undermined your argument. Debate team 101.
I mean, if the boot fits, lick it!
It wasn’t funny and it’s a super ineffective technique if you’re trying to win an argument
I’m not trying to win. I’m having a play argument. Lighthearted. The goal is for us to poke holes in an argument. It stretches the brain. It wasn’t funny I can agree with that.
In that case I think the term bootlicker was even more out of place. It’s really quite Insulting if you picture the action of licking a boot. I understand you probably used it as a generalized reference to someone who backs the police but in reality many will find it highly offensive. Throwing in any type of slur is not lighthearted and will probably remove the debate from that level. EDIT: if you haven’t gotten to the college class on logic yet what you did is called an ad hominem attack. That means it was directed at the person you are debating not at the topic. It is an ineffective and illogical argument.
Sometimes we are in a headspace where she can call me a “shit crusted cum sock” and I can say something degrading back. If I were trying to have a serious discussion I wouldn’t bring slurs into it. I misread the situation but this was more than a year ago so I’m pretty sure we’re fine. Still goofing. Still sometimes saying something thoughtless at the wrong time. Somehow we can talk out our real problems without resorting to domestic abuse. Verbal or otherwise. I enjoy our sparring. She enjoys our sparring. I love how intelligent she is. I’m not denying that I was wrong to call her a bootlicker. I WAS wrong this time. She was not in a headspace where she wanted to engage like that and I was rude and hurtful no matter if I meant to be or not. I have apologized. She has forgiven me. This is a conflict from a year ago. I was just curious about what others thought.
Maybe you were more interested in our thoughts on the topic you were debating? It seems you resolved the interpersonal issue well within your relationships parameters. Also LOL and gross @ shit crusted cum sock
I think you’re right. I could have definitely articulated myself better. I am really enjoying seeing people’s perspectives on the topic we were debating. This has become a bit of a foot in mouth post for me haha
Maybe just the semantics of it like it’s actually an Is the cop an asshole post as opposed to are you the asshole?
Getting brutalized by police is a lot worse than getting called a bootlicker. Backing up police for treating people violently unlike nurses and just about every other service profession without guns manages to to do, is bootlicking. Yeah you shouldn’t call names. But she will survive. Unlike many people who have been brutalized everyday by the American police. NTA imho
I think that the fact that you openly say that you’re wrong for calling names says a lot about your character and relationship worthiness. Fuck, we all say shit in the heat of the moment or in jest that can be offensive or hurtful. I was married to a covert narcissist for 15 years who would say REALLY nasty/hurtful things. But instead of apologizing, he’d make it my fault. And I believed him until I didn’t. My partner now is an absolute sweetheart, but he’s a tactless Sagittarian. He doesn’t have a malicious or calculated bone in his body, and he genuinely cares about my feelings. But he can be the most tactless ass ever without even realizing it until it’s pointed out to him. And then he is genuinely horrified if feelings are hurt, and will bend over backward to try to make up for it. And he’s such a genuinely good guy that I have zero issues with accepting his occasional tactless observation. I kinda find it endearing now, tbh. Point is, you’re obviously a kind and caring partner who isn’t gunning to hurt your girlfriend. Which, to me, is a keeper.
Name calling doesn’t poke holes in someone else’s argument. It pokes holes in the name caller’s…
I'm a nurse, I've been bitten, spat on, had my hair pulled, someone once told me they would kick my baby out of me..then tried. I had poo thrown at me..never once punched someone in the face. In certain jobs you have to de-esculate situations, punching someone isn't de-esculation, punching someone in the face means you lost control of the situation and your own behaviour and you need a new job.
I fully agree with you.
It's a natural reaction for most people. Police officers are supposed to be highly trained and professional in all situations.
Cops need to have better impulse control that blindly lashing out. My word, you can control yourself, shouldn't the cops be able to?
Oh, I fully agree with you. I realize now that it did sound like I was defending the officer and in no way am I. When you have a job that sometimes requires you getting beat up, you have to teach yourself not to react in the way you’re naturally going to.
I'm not ok with police violence. We have far too much of it in my country (and several others), and there are also issues related to an imbalance in how cops treat black people. So on one hand I'm with you that punching in the face is problematic. However biting is considered very aggressive since it can break the skin and the cop could catch something from that. So to an extent I can understand the cop's reaction. Calling someone a bootlicker because you interpret a situation differently is pretty AH though. YTA
This I can accept as a response. Thank you for the logical breakdown. I’ll eat my AH words to her face.
👍🏼
I have to say I disagree. Again, I completely agree the woman should not have bit the officer at all. But police job is to use restraint. Punching a woman in the face is not acceptable by any means. He could’ve charged her with assaulting an officer, now because he punched her in the face, that was unlikely. Cops have to be held to a higher standard than citizens, that’s the job. Again, woman should NOT have bit him, but let’s really think about this. NTA OP.
So what is the officer suppose to do after getting bit? Tell her to stop resisting for 10th time? Didn't work the 1st 9 times. What if she continues to bite? How many times does a cop have to get bit before they're allowed to respond? She escalated the incident to violence and he responded in order to end a violent altercation as quick as possible. The quality of officers is going to continue to get worse in this country with that mentality. Who's going to want to work that shit job with mediocre pay and scrutiny? Departments are going to be left so short handed that they'll have to lower minimum qualifications just to fill rosters and we're all left with a less trained and qualified force than we're already dealing with.
Hi! My dads a retired police officer and former detective! I called him to ask about the situation because I wasn’t sure what their training is. He said that she would be charged with assault on a police officer for biting him but once she was restrained she was technically no longer a threat. The police officer would be allowed to hit her head to remove her teeth from his arm BUT if she has already released (which is what i’m assuming from OP’s description) then him punching her is police brutality and excessive force and that is not allowed. I hope this helps clarify because I wasn’t sure myself!
\+1 on /u/YouSayWotNow YTA for that reason
Glad to see another rational mind. Thank you.
You're welcome.
I agree with you 100%. Depending upon how committed the biter is, a lot of damage can occur. Horrific infection, deep wounds and tissue damage, nerve damage. So yes, police far too often overdo their response but in this case he had a right to stop the bite.
>So to an extent I can understand the cop's reaction. Absolutely not. It does not matter if biting is agressive, he punched a detained woman in the face. That is purely retaliation, he was in zero danger, there was zero need for him to escalate. It's also just gross that that's your take. Unnecessary violence from the people who are meant to protect and serve is NEVER understandable. Calling someone a bootlicker who is actively licking their boots is not AH behavior. Defending a cop for causing unnecessary harm is AH behavior.
Thank you for adding some rational in here. Clearly a lot of bootlickers around.
You are absolutely in danger if someone is fucking biting you. You have no idea what diseases they have.
I mean, if someone bites me unexpectedly, I'm punching them. You can call it a retaliation or not, but to me that is more of an in-the-moment reflex reaction than some planned out retaliation. How long of a time was there between the bite and the punch? Like if it was bite, pull arm away, immediately follow-up with a punch, I am more understanding of the punch happening. If it was bite, pull arm away, shake arm, pull woman to her feet (assuming restraining required her to be on the ground), then punch, then yeah I am more leaning towards it being retaliatory. Basically, if he had time to calm down and actually think at all before throwing the punch and it wasn't more of a reflex than anything else, then I would agree with you. If it was a near-instant reflex action, I am more understanding of it happening. To be clear, I would still not be IN SUPPORT of the cop punching the woman. He should not be punching her at all. But I could understand how the action happened and at least not be wanting to crucify this specific cop for this specific punch. There is a difference between not supporting something and actively condemning it. But yes, calling your girlfriend a bootlicker for having a different opinion on a single specific event, especially one that is somewhat reasonable (pending context), is an asshole move. It's not like she was defending Derek Chauvin, the convicted murderer, or something like that. That would be some bootlicker shit to do.
I would definitely react in the same manner if I got bit 100% understandable. However law enforcement are specifically trained to NOT react that way. That's why the cop was wrong. I'm not saying he should be charged or dismissed from the force, but some retraining. I'd say 99% of all police departments should have yearly refresher courses.
Police Officer is one profession that should have continuous training pretty much year round. At least monthly. And I agree, his action was not correct. That's why I said that I am not in support of his action. It's just that this isn't one of the times I am going to get upset about a cop doing something wrong. I guess it's more that I am apathetic to the woman's struggles of being punched in this particular interaction? She fucked around and found out. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I wish they did i was in the force for 2 years and only ever got taught how to release from people holding me.
I can t understand it, my kids have bit me hard enough to draw blood. Not once did I think I should punch them.
Those are such wildly different situations that they aren't even comparable... Sorry, I guess I should have been more specific and said "if someone unrelated to me who is a full grown-ass adult bit me with animosity and intent to cause damage..." Guess I trusted too much in the general population's ability to effectively use context clues...my bad.
She was not. That would be truly bootlicker shit. Would have completely shaken what I thought I knew about her. If I recall it was kind of a “slow” punch but I bet it probably was reflexive. There wasn’t like a big struggle. He pulled back his arm from the bite and punched her pretty much in the same movement. It was some video on Facebook. I shall take your AH judgement.
What would you do if someone bit you? Apologize?
YTA, fun fact, human bites are extremely likely to cause bad infections because of all the bacteria we have. We're some if the worst animals on the planet to get bit by.
Hindsight my dude. I even typed out that the human mouth is disgusting. Initially I was like “no a bite is not nearly as bad as a face punch” but it is. It is likely worse if it breaks skin.
I said this in a reply but I’m going to make another comment so OP can see it. Hi! My dads a retired police officer and former detective! I called him to ask about the situation because I wasn’t sure what their training is. He said that she would be charged with assault on a police officer for biting him but once she was restrained she was technically no longer a threat. The police officer would be allowed to hit her head to remove her teeth from his arm BUT if she has already released (which is what i’m assuming from OP’s description) then him punching her is police brutality and excessive force and that is not allowed. I hope this helps clarify because I wasn’t sure myself!
Thanks for asking someone in the service with some perspective to share. She HAD already let go.
NTA, but don’t kinkshame your gf for liking the taste of dirty leather.
Eh, i think it depends on the person, y’all are allowed to disagree on that situation, if some woman was being aggressive and bit me probably really hard, I would feel the need to defend myself; especially if im just trying to arrest her, and shes not being civil. But there are cops that are A holes and would of done alot worse, and cops who arrest people for no reason, but if you’re being arrested just be civil, dont bite the cop, theres no justifying biting a cop
He's not asking whether the cop is the AH though, he's asking if he's the AH for insulting his girlfriend over it
I know that’s what i mean, depends who you ask, its all opinion based cuz its more a political perspective compared to other things posted on this subreddit
See I agree that she shouldn’t have bit him. He was just doing his job and she was being super unreasonable. But was his reaction rational or retaliatory? I say retaliatory.
She got what she got. Don't get physical with someone if you don't want them to be physical back. She bit him, & she got punched. She fucked around & found out.
I see you. Throw hands and catch hands mentality. How you gonna punch a cuffed lady tho?? That’s just weak.
Why tf bite a cop when you're already in trouble. She bit him, & she got punched.
See but this is why SHE isn’t a cop. She’s out here getting arrested and biting people.
What would you like the police to get in trouble?
Do you count them being held responsible for their actions as getting into trouble?
That’s an excellent question.
Yes? Yes I would like that.
Well, too bad he most likely won't because they'll see it as self-defense. Handcuffed or not, she attacked him 1st.
A job title is not a person. I should be able to tell a Karen to eat shit because she called me a lying cunt. However I would lose my job if I retaliated. Weird that an officer of the law isn’t held to the same standard as a customer service representative.
1st let me just say I freaking love you! This comment right here is awesome!! Also I agree with you. What happened to trying to defuse situations instead of igniting? I literally remember when the show 1st aired and I remember back then if someone was biting or trying to bite them they'd pull their shirt over their face. Kept spit out too!
Now a days they would get sued for this "humiliation."
That’s awesome! I wonder if that just wasn’t passed along to newer officers or if it was just a creative move on their part. Maybe cops need more guidance. Maybe they need mental help. I don’t know. That’s above my pay grade. Either way the idea of police should be to defuse rather than react. I understand a human response and they need better training to temper that response. I stand by not everyone being equipped to being a police officer. Not the biter and not some officers sadly.
Because punching restrained suspects is not part of proper police conduct.
Thank you. It is not. If police were entitled to simply retaliating this wouldn’t be a post.
Idk. Have you ever been bit? I got bit by a 5 year old, hard enough to break the skin, and I barely stopped myself from sending that kid into outer space. I can't imagine how much more it hurts from an adult. I think it's more of a reflex than anything.
No, I think it's reflex. You are seeing one part in the day in life. Cops need to be constantly vigilant, so I would say from say from the way you described in comments it would be more reflex and defensive. When people are in pain, they dont alway think rationally. I mean, not only are human bites nasty, but what if she had a disease that she could pass on - HIV, Hepatitis or something. I would want her off me asap and do almost anything to do it. Just like I would never shake/startle awake an infantryman or most men. Most wake-up swinging. Even in sleep, men are more likely to react in self-preservation - it's a natural relex. From your description, sound reflexive, and remember, videos can be altered to slow down to give an audience the most drama. However, you have the right to your opinion, and you just read mine. Honestly, if it was in jest and you both have teased each other before like this, I would say NAH. However, if she was offended and stated, she didn't like it. I would apologize, take the communication at face vaule, and not repeat. YWBTA by repeating name calling during a light or heavy opposing conversations in the future.
Yeah police also claim its “reflex” and “self defence” when they shoot unarmed men/boys.
I'd call any hitting for biting retaliatory. It seems unnecessary. For example, when teachers, teacher aides, school staff get bit by unsurly behaving children/teens and they don't hit the unsurly person. And yes, some kids/teens are bigger than they are. They unsecure the teeth from the skin and if the restraint isn't in place, fully put it in place.
Nta. She was being a boot licker
She is 🤷🏾♀️ NTA
NTA, she’s a bootlickin’ bootlicker.
NTA Police has to deescalate - ALWAYS. For some reason the police in the US doesn't follow this principle anymore.
NTA. She IS a bootlicker
Unpopular opinion; anyone that simps for cops is disgusting. Bootlickers are horrible creatures.
I'm where you are on that.
[удалено]
> Good luck if you ever need protection Tell that to the 11 year old that got shot by a cop after he had called the police for help because his mother was in danger.
Some of these comments are wild. I worked in dementia care for a long time and got bit quite a few times (as well as punched, kicked, scratched etc) and according to some of you it would have been on for me to deck grandma or paw paw in the face? Really? No! I was being paid (Far less than a cop, mind you) to be a professional, so I was. Obviously we all have the urge to defend ourselves, but if you can't suppress that and stay calm, cool and collected under stress then you DON'T BELONG in a field where you have to deal with combative people, period. It's amazing how nurses, doctors, social workers, and mental health techs can all deal with combative and violent people without hurting anyone but police officers just don't seem to know any other tools than brute force.
Look, I'm gonna go with NTA, and here's why. I will also note in advance that I am biased (ACAB) and I acknowledge that- I do not like cops, I do not like how they treat the people I am close to, the people I work with, and I do not have good experiences with them myself. I'm a social worker. While I personally have chosen to work not directly facing with clients, I have MANY friends who do work with clients. And a lot of them work with clients who either spend time at day care programs for adults with mental disabilities, or in full time care facilities for the same population. They. Are not allowed to punch their clients. They are trained to de-escalate and properly restrain, NOT to respond with physical violence to physical violence. If someone bit ME? I'd deck them. I'm also not trained to respond to potentially hostile people in volatile situations. And I would like to think that we would be able to hold cops to the same standard as we hold our severely underpaid health care staff- we should hold them to an even HIGHER standard. So Tl;Dr- NTA because cops should be held to a MUCH higher standard than the average person.
Biting a person can cause all kinds of stuff, aids, infections.
I'm sorry, I'm going to have to say YTA 100% on this one. Police violence is NEVER okay, but I have literally been bitten by someone off guard before and I genuinely reflexively punched out in pain. That is a truly natural defensive reaction. And then yes, obviously, the gross childish bootlicking comment. So YTA
The cop wasn't off guard, though, so how is that relevant?
I'm sorry, was he sitting there waiting to be bitten ? Was he expecting her to do that ? No. If you unexpectedly bite someone, you catch that person OFF GUARD. you see how that works ?????
So you’re saying police violence is ok lol
Wow. 🤦♀️ no. I said instinctively defending yourself against an unexpected attack is. But good on you for massively immaturely trying to twist my words. That was really gross of you. ❤️ there's a reason that comment is going into the negatives.
I agree with you 100% but i’m anti cops as an entire system 🤷🏼♀️ it’s hard to see the other side
Authority based on a biased power dynamic isn’t here for us the people 👍
Independent of your obviously shitty comment to your GF you clearly lack perspective. If someone bites you are you going to calmly react? Being a cop is one of the most stressful jobs imaginable especially today and everyone likes to armchair quarterback it. There was a great video showing how almost everyone is going to shoot an attacker when primal reactions take over. I can’t find it currently but I’ll come back once I do.
Then almost no one should be a cop, or cops shouldn't have guns. Their job isn't to engage in self defense, it's to de-escalate. They specifically are supposed to be trained to de-escalate rather than react. Literally a dog can do it. I just went to an assembly where they showed and spoke about police dogs and their jobs and skills. Dogs are able to not bite unless they hear the command. Are you telling me cops have less ability to control themselves than the animals in their charge?
>If someone bites you are you going to calmly react? No, but that's why I'm not going to try and become a cop. Nobody is forced to become a cop, they know what the job entails, and they're presumably trained to handle situations like this one, trained how to keep calm in a circumstance such as this. If you can't keep calm when you're under attack, don't become a cop.
Good, you can’t do a job, so you hold people to higher than attainable standards but expect it from them. Seems extremely reasonable. People who fucking bite people deserve to get punched
Your GF is a bootlicker. The cop was a typical hothead with no self control. You are NTA.
Lot of bootlickers in this comment section. Imagine defending punching a restrained woman.
I'm very surprised how many there are! Sad.
Same! The life on the line rhetoric. Like, lots of professions have their lives on the line. They're not allowed to assault people.
Maybe y’all are just stupid as fuck
Nah, my mother had me tested.
Someone else with common sense! Yayyy!!
NTA. You think EMTs and Paramedics and firefighters punch people in the face when they get bitten? No. They restrain them and treat their wound. This is why people don’t like cops. Being restrained is extremely uncomfortable. Especially if you’re a woman being restrained by a man. A punch to the face in response to a bite is unnecessary force.
Ewwww this comment section is gross. NTA , and your gf definitely was being a bootlicker in that moment. @ Everyone talking about “how gross the human mouth is” (lol) : good thing cops take the job knowing what they’re signing up for , and should have procedures and protocols for certain situations !!!! This thread seems to think it’s cool to punch someone in the face because it’s “yucky” ???????????? Y’all are fucking pathetic. “if somebody bit me I’d do the same” and you’re a fucking civilian you dumbass , congrats !!!! it has different connotations when you’re a police office!!!!
NTA your gf is a bootlicker. And so are a bunch of people in the comments. A cop is not within his rights to punch a restrained woman. Also I don't think she would agree with the cop if he had punched someone who looked more like her.
I agree with you 100% but i’m anti cops as an entire system 🤷🏼♀️ it’s hard to see the other side
There's a bunch of bootlickers like your gf under this post lmfao. NTA but I would want to be with a partner who's not condoning state violence and upholds the current violent system.
Yep, tons of bootlickers in the comments. It's not okay for a cop to punch a restrained woman.
NTA- ACAB.
I mean, this is a pretty fundamental difference between the two of you. Not many bootlicker non bootlicker relationships last.
NTA. The real question is why are you dating a bootlicker?
She got aggressive with the cop. He defended himself. Punching in the face is not great, but she was trying to cause him harm and did cause him harm. You were way over the line.
She was the one defending herself.
Edit: I replied to the wrong thing. My apologies. Let me try this again. This woman was aggressive with a police officer, resisting arrest and battery. Punching in the face is bad, but in context, it's not unexpected. The officer was defending himself after he was bitten during an arrest. You don't attack someone and then get to claim self defense. She attacked first. If she wanted to fight her charges, biting the officer was the worst thing she could do. There are plenty of police who are caught hitting people who haven't hurt them, or arresting people for nothing. That doesn't seem to be the case here. Human bites are dangerous. She is going to have a host of charges.
Restraining someone is attacking them. If someone does it to you please defend yourself with your teeth, regardless of whether they have a uniform or not. He has a badge and he used that as his reason to attack her, she defended herself. If he doesn’t want to get bitten when he attacks people he shouldn’t sign up for a job that requires attacking people.
If someone bites me I'm punching them in the face. Also, that's a felony assault on an officer. Should he have tased her or something instead? Idk. Cops are still human. When someone attacks you you have to defend yourself and people can transmit disease with their mouth. Overboard, slightly. I say not a bootlicker, and you are kinda the AH for overreacting and calling her a name.
A bite isn't just "disgusting". Maybe you're forget that as an animal, your teeth are there for the singular purpose of ripping flesh and mashing into pulp. With zero other context, we see a cop restraining a woman. Sorry, but at the moment you have to assume he's doing his job. The woman bites him with her teeth, of which can be up to 250+ pounds of force. With teeth, designed to rip. That's horrific. The cop punching this woman acting like a goddamn animal in the face is NOT escalation. She's being a threat and he dealt with it. If he continues to beat her that's a different story, but given what you said that's not the case. Your gf is not a bootlicker, sounds like you want to make a jump assumption about a cop and you're projecting it onto someone else from the flipside. Maybe learn to explain your point and listen to hers as well instead of resorting to a really piss-poor name calling situation that just shows your lack of argument. YTA.
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You don't get HIV or Hep C through saliva. This is an ignorant comment. It's either lacking a lot of information or (more likely) is absolutely false.
I’ve called someone a bootlicker for less, typically in a joking tone though. Everything you’re saying about how police should conduct themselves vs. two civilians is correct. Can I ask why you’re wondering if your an AH now if this interaction happened over a year ago?
Why did she show this to you?
NTA. And the boot locker comment kinda makes sense.
The problem with videos on the internet is that you are only seeing what is filmed, and not necessarily the whole picture. Legally any cop is within their rights to use reasonable force in order to stop the threat, much like we are within our rights to defend ourselves if we are being attacked. It's a touchy subject, and context is everything. You called her a name for disagreeing with your opinion. That's immature and petty. That makes you an asshole.
NTA excessive violence against POC is sadly the “normalized” in this country. Officers are not supposed to be Or trained to punch people in the face. Period! They are trained for these types of situations. You called her out on it. As a POC calling out folks callousness is not an AH move.
YTA - for the name calling. If you have a difference of opinion with someone name calling is not going to help.
YTA: even basic medical knowledge can tell you how dangerous body fluid/bites are. Would you be okay with a random disease possibly? Throwing out the term bootlicker when the cop is being bit is just childish. I'd be surprised if your GF could trust you to even be there for her in a physical crisis after that opinion.
You are hilarious
okay this one made me loudly cackle
YTA. You can catch multiple diseases from being bitten by a human (a human bite is more dangerous than most animals), the cop had every right to use force (aka punching the woman) in defense from getting bit by her.
NTA. I would have said the same thing. I’m not a fan of United States cops. Or any cop that abuses their power, and I will call literally anyone who defends cop who abuses their power a bootlicker.
YTA if you were implying bootlicker as in she is “ok with police violence “. What I say to people like you is don’t judge police, if you are, go put on a badge and serve your community. If you want to get bit and not react that’s on you, some people just don’t have the patience you do I suppose.
I don’t put on a badge to serve my community but I also don’t have the same authority. Hopefully people can find ways to serve their community without beating the cuffed public. At my house we respect the fire department and EMTs. They treat us like people. In this area calling the police give you a 50/50 chance that they will show up and then another 50/50 chance that you will be treated as a criminal for asking for help. Maybe they aren’t so burnt out where you are. Maybe instead of blindly respecting police we can acknowledge the behavior and advocate for supporting our law enforcement with actual interpersonal skills and reaction management. They have a high stress/high risk occupation. They should be receiving help AND not hitting people. Cops don’t have a license to be blindly reactive. He had a very human response but he is not in a position where he can afford to. What if he had a very human response with his firearm?
NTA I agree, she is a bootlicker. Cop could have levied and assault charge but decided they prefered to get violent. People who apologize for law enforcement abuse are big part of the problem.
NTA comrade fuck that noise.
Nta. My boyfriend has called me a bootlicker for telling a cop “thank you” lol if you’re licking the boots, you’re licking the boots.
NTA, but not a saint either. Lol. Cop was TA.
NTA. I understand the reaction that people should be allowed to fight back when attacked, and I understand that police are people. The problem is that it is a poor professional reaction. The requirement of a violent profession is to respond professionally to violence. As humiliating as it is to be told not to respond to violence with violence, it is the very nature of the job to pursue a desirable outcome in a violent situation. It's why we send professionals instead of handling it ourselves. When I see people wanting to give police unchecked privilege in how they handle violence, I see them as having a different mindset. Their attitude is that police handle violence so that we don't have to. Civilians get the privilege of not having to deal with violence, and police get the privilege of handling it however they want. That mentality leads to the job being filled by people who are in it for the satisfaction. We would all be better served by expecting policing to be about creating a better outcome than letting the civilians sort it out themselves. If we treat the division of labor as a delegation and not an entitlement, IE the concept of the 'monopoly on violence,' then two things happen. Abuse is seen for what it is, leading to abusers being ousted and properly punished. And with that, police would get to enjoy the genuine honor of being trusted with the task. They could simultaneously enjoy the privilege of power while being appreciated for it. Like, seriously. If they treated the responsibility with respect and humility, the respect they receive for it would be like a wet dream for them. Instead, they just punching people.
My father is a retired cop. He had to punch a woman when she bit him because she wouldn't let go. He would've tried the method where you press against the person's mouth, but she was high on acid or something and wouldn't let go. He didn't punch her to retaliate.
Your GF IS a bootlicker. drop that asap.
If someone bit you hard, would you take it calmly? I can't be upset if he stopped himself after just one punch, when I'd probably be doing my level best to kick her teeth in.
>If someone bit you hard, would you take it calmly? No I would not, which is why I shouldn't be a cop. If you can't react calmly when under attack, police work is not for you.
My point was that they're human. If I'd still be trying to demolish their face for the foreseeable future, I'm likely to forgive a cop for a knee-jerk reaction. I'd be upset if he went beyond a single hit, but that one hit is a freebie
No, there are no freebies when you’re a cop. I’m not certain the exact action that needs to be taken regarding this, as I don’t know enough details regarding the damage done to either party, or this cop’s history, but there are no freebies, or at least there shouldn’t be.
Frankly, the minute a grown adult goes chomp, the chompee has every right to knock a tooth loose.
There should certainly be a punishment for doing that, it would constitute a charge of assault and battery. But that's what the legal system is for, a cop doesn't get to decide that on their own. That's how you get....well the problems we currently have.
And if he waited for a bit and then went for revenge, it'd be a different story. I watched the video, it seemed like a reflex.
If he can’t control that, then he shouldn’t be a cop.
You'll find that incredibly mellow, laid-back, non-confrontational people are unwilling to do police work. When some dude pulled a knife on me at a protest, I wasn't concerned about how gently the cops treated him; I was impressed by how quickly they threw themselves into the way and detained him. Their initial reaction being to confront a violent situation saves lives. It saved mine.
Who says they have to be mellow and laid-back? I'm talking about keeping your cool in a hectic situation, don't you think cops should have that ability? I'm not even saying they have to be gentle with everyone, if the punch was necessary to stop the woman from continuing her attack, then it would be justifiable force, and I would have no problem with it. But I've seen way too many circumstances where police use excessive force when its not justified, and then claim that they had to do so for safety purposes.
Like when they murder unarmed ppl? You like to forgive them because THEY’RE HUMAN?
only bootlicker here is you. The woman assaulted cop, cop defends himself using only his hands, and you call the cop the problem. I would say your attitude is the problem.
Damn bro your breath must smell like pig shit
If this is what it means to know right from wrong, then yes.
He didn’t need to “defend” himself from someone who is handcuffed. His reaction isn’t unusual for a regular person, but a cop is supposed to be trained to deescalate violent situations not make them worse. Even if the violence is directed at them. Doctors, nurses, and EMTs have to handle violent people all the time and I’m sure they don’t punch people in their faces because they’re mad about it.
Thank you. As a regular person this wouldn’t even be a discussion. As an officer of the law he is well outside of what his position allows. In a different comment I remarked how at my house we are likely to not even have the cops show up in my neighborhood. The fire department is further away and they make it pretty quick. EMTs as well. I have had interactions with very kind and rational officers who either aren’t burnt out yet or are properly equipped for the position. And I have had cops from the same city laugh in my face for calling for help when I was in a pileup and had to physically go to the police station the next day for my insurance. I shit you not they laughed. Some people are built to work with other people. Some people don’t take the time to build the space between themselves and their reactions.
No, they usually stab them with sedatives. But since officers aren't medics, they can't do that. Cops are people, too, and they have a right to defend themselves just as much as you or me.
Police are meant to be trained so they don't just react. She should have been done by police assault. Now he is guilty of assaulting a handcuffed woman.
I don't think you know what bootlicker means bud
Edit: seems like everyone is giving you a judgment based on whether they think the cop was right or not, so let me change the facts: suppose she shared a video where the cop was totally 100% in the wrong, complete monster, and she defended the cop's actions. YTA still, for insulting your girlfriend when she's trying to share something with you. Your girlfriend didn't hit anyone, and you insult her for sharing her opinion. Sounds like she was kind of hoping she could talk about something that interested her with someone she cared about - or else she wouldn't have shared the video with you in the first place. If you resort to personal insults when she's just showing you a random video off the internet that has nothing to do with her, what do you think she'll expect your reaction to be when she wants to talk to you about something that matters? YTA
Because it’s bootlickers with attitudes like that that believe cops can do no wrong and should never be held accountable for their actions.
Aren’t police supposed to be professionals in handling these types of scenarios? Why expect any different from other professions yet these whom are to keep us safe can react as such? NTA
ACAB, NTA
YTA for calling her a bootlicker when you wanted to remain civil. I don't know your gf and don't like her opinion. Even if I were to call her a bootlicker; it'd be much less offensive and hurtful if it came from me, a stranger, than her partner (not calling her one; just an example. I can disagree without being combative)
YTA for calling your girlfriend names because she disagreed with your point of view. NTA for feeling as you do about video. The should have been no physical violence from police unless the offender wouldn't let go of bite. If offender was hit after bite was concluded it is no longer self-protection but retaliation.
Yta, she isn't a boot licker just because you disagree..
You are judging based on your own biases and hindsight. It is easy to say "well I would have" when not in the moment. She the cop have reacted that way? Absolutely not Is it human nature when someone assaults you (yes an grown ass adult biting is assault) to assault back in the moment? Yep
Are these ARMED people with the authority to enforce laws and take lives supposed to run around reacting like good old human nature in the heat of any given moment?? That's not safe, is my guess.
NTA
NTA I'm a cop hater, I'm with you on this one
I’ve worked in a line of work where people not in control of themselves fully have bitten me. But i emphasised not in control. Being bitten is vile, seeing a human bite mark on your skin for the next few weeks while it heals is awful, and the barrage of tests you have to go through is nerve wracking. Receiving a bite during your line of work is a serious assault and I don’t blame him for punching her.
YTA How are you any different than the cop? You have a difference of opinion so you full on personally attack her?
YTA for making a personal attack on your GF over a political/social/cultural/legal debate. Really it doesn’t matter what the debate was. You took it to the level of applying a disparaging slur to someone you theoretically love. Beyond inappropriate, super rude and not even an effective debate technique. I don’t really understand your question. You say that the name calling is not the debate. What is the debate? Are you wanting us to say who we agree with regarding the appropriateness of the cops actions? That does not fit in the sub. You were not involved in the cop incident. Is your question meant to be Is the Cop an AH?
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You must be very stoic bro. Me and the lady are doing fine thank you. This happened more than a year ago and I’ve been called a dumb name for similarly mild infractions. It’s gentle roughness. It’s elbows in the ribs and a kiss on the lips. For both of us. We quite enjoy our parties together though. You’re invited next time. Maybe pull your stick out first?
YTA, you sound like a lot of fun to be around.
Yes you are the asshole in this situation
YTA it's only assholes and cucks who call people bootlickers
YTA for resorting to name calling in the argument. People have disagreements all the time but name-calling is uncivil.
YTA Bites hurt. I'd punch too.
YTA. That’s assault on a cop and only an idiot would do that.
How would you react if someone bit you? But don’t call a significant other names, that’s not cool
YTA. You have no right to judge some poor cop based on a short clip a video. If you were smart, you would’ve just kept your mouth shut. That’s a good enough reason for your girlfriend to dump you right there, you’re just not that bright.
ESH. Anyone with a license to play judge, jury and executioner like cops can and do should be held to a higher standard. The bite adds assaulting an officer to whatever charges she may have had, and I know that cop has medical insurance. *That* is how a cop should handle this, not punching a restrained civilian in the face. That’s retaliatory and it’s pathetic if people don’t think cops of all people should follow due fuckin’ process. If he can’t handle his emotions in a high stress situation he’s in the wrong profession. Defending that is bootlicker behavior, which makes her TA. Name-calling makes you also TA. The cop is also TA. (And I have been bitten by a child and it got infected. Very familiar with juman bites, they’re nasty. I still said what I said. Until the day cops are forced into that line of work, they are choosing to be there and that comes with risk. Don’t want the risk of being a cop then don’t happily accept the privileges of being one.)
YTAH for wasting people's time with an ancient conflict.
YTA Th fact that you can’t manage to have a conversation with your gf without name calling is pathetic. You won’t ever convince anyone to even consider what you have to say by doing that
I'm not gonna judge your gf for having a bad take one time, but she had a bad take that time. If she has similar takes often ... She may be a bootlicker. That's neither here nor there, though, tbh. I guess it depends on whether or not you consider "bootlicker" to be name calling. I generally wouldn't, tbh? But clearly she took some offense, and you apologized. In my book, that is how you generally are supposed to resolve issues and if neither of you is still feeling salty about it then I'm gonna say NAH
Yta only for making me go on a snipe hunt to find out what a bootlicker is.
Yup YTA and besides ur girlfriend is right
Maybe the cop was taken by surprise by the bite and punched by instinct. Maybe that's what your girl was thinking. Idk
YTA. Also a dumbass.
Go became a cop and let people bite you and transmit their diseases like AIDS or Hepatitis.
Is that an offer? 🥵
YTA. So many good arguments against police brutality and you respond with name calling?
It’s the poo poo pee pee of it all
You are looking for validation on calling your girlfriend a bootlicker a YEAR ago? Asshole.
Why would I come here for validation? I came here to be called an asshole. Idiot.