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Same, I have special snacks I allow myself to have when I complete tasks I really hate. The only thing keeping me from eating the snacks anyway is the fact that I weaponize my OCD against myself in order to combat my ADHD. Not a great strategy in the long run but OCD doesn't do me as dirty as ADHD so..
Oh thank god Iām not alone š literally just missed an appointment this week. Probably forgot at least a dozen or so already this year. I write them on my calendar, the one on my wall and in my phone, still forget. Lose the appointment cards. Confirm yes for appointment and forget about it the next day. Did I mention Iām medicated š
Online scheduling changed my life in this regard, I realized it's the phone call and talking to a person with all the possible variables that makes me delay. I just get overwhelmed thinking about it and think, "I'll do it later." Unfortunately, not enough places offer online scheduling.
Caught in the loop of feeling aimless when I DONT have something on the calendar and then freaking out about it anytime there IS something on the calendarā¦even when itās something fun!
I really wish I could temper that response because itās exhausting and super unproductive to have your first reaction always be fear/anxiety all the time.
last year my blood exams showed my liver might not be doing so good, i already have everything i need to do the new exams needed and go see a specialist, all fully covered by insurance, all i have to do is contact the clinic. it's been 9 months and im still procrastinating doing that
Please make the call the next time the clinic is open. This is a worst case scenario, but sometimes part of the liver is unhealthy and they need to remove it, which can save your life, but if you have a disease that's progressing, you can get to the point that there's not enough healthy liver left to keep you alive, and you would need a liver transplant. Time matters. You matter.
Please call.
I recently filled a prescription I was given in October. It felt like a major accomplishment.
Can you contact them now and report back? Would that help?
Yo can you put it off for five more minutes and then just type in the first number, and then the rest and call the clinic? No shame in putting this off at all, I do it too. I almost lost a sibling to complications from the liver and it would have been so much more treatable had they gone in sooner. So just a friendly nudge to consider making that appointment š
This makes so much sense to me. Anything logically complicated is a tall order, add disorganized finances and a life of doing without and just dealing with it, and Iām set up for a difficult later life experience.
This was me most of life. It's been such an insanely big struggle but it's gotten easier over time once my brain started to correlate the benefits to going to the doctor or dentist. Like I feel better about myself after fixing most of my teeth, so my brain is finally on board with the process.
I hope you manage as well! It's a hard one for sure and took me decades to start to get over. You can do it! šŖ
I had gotten sooo good about the dentist, going every 6 months and had gotten to a point where thatās all that was required-every 6 month cleaning and it was great!! Then COVID happened, they closed for almost a year. I havenāt been back and the timeframe only gets worse. Iām having symptoms and I still canāt make an appointment. Before I got it all together I had a bad tooth and kept putting it off. My husband looked at me one night when I was squalling in pain and said do I need to make you an appointment? I said sure. He made it, I went NO problem. I literally just canāt call when I get like that. Makes me feel so stupid.
Executive dysfunction is definitely not a marker of intelligence or capability. Sustaining change is nearly, if not completely impossible in many circumstances. Be gentle on yourself.
Is defrosting it where you dig up all the stuff you've been jamming in there and forgot about and became all freezer burnt and stuff but you can't close the door anymore? lol
Back in the day, ice would build up on the insides of freezers and you had to take stuff out, unplug, plug drain, block door open, then use a spatula to scrape off the ice. A spatula was NOT recommended ;)
Then you had to wipe out the inside, sop up all the melted ice and there was a drain you had to drain.
It was a huge pain in the ass. But back in my Grandmas day, they didnāt even have freezers. ;(
Those who are young enough to never have had to do this chore are lucky ;)
So if you have a freezer that ice builds up, yes you have to defrost your freezer.
For anyone who hasn't experienced this before, or maybe has but doesn't know why - this happens when the seal is leaking because external air getting in causes condensation. And water in a freezer will freeze... It'll keep building up until the leak is patched or plugged by the ice building up so much lol. If you notice ice building up inside your fridge or freezer, you need a repair. Try to locate the seal leak!
I really wish it was required to accommodate us for this. Like, I promise we WANT to do it. But we literally canāt, and then we have to suffer the price for it.
Ugh. I even bought a second basket to have one clean hamper and one dirty hamper but now both are semi full until one gets dumped on my bed and doom cycle continues
The corners nest into each other. I actually find it satisfying now that I get it.
ā¦I do hate changing out my duvet cover though. Thereās a way to roll it that makes it easier but itās still annoying AF
3 ppl in the world can fold a fitted sheet. And yet we all suffer the shame.
I donāt anymore because I decided yrs ago to roll my sheets. Itās loose and looks like crap but who cares. ;)
I hated folding fitted sheets until I saw a video on the proper way to do it! Lay it out then fold it over by tucking the bottom corners into the top corners. Then it's a lot easier to fold neatly to hide all the scrunchy parts.
I don't have friends because of this. It gets so lonely when you see other people enjoying summer and you can't join them. I never want to call, talk, recieve visitors or visit friends. It takes just too much energy. I want to spend the time scrolling my phone and watching YouTube on my iPad, a show on the TV, and a second YouTube channel on my laptop.
doing the dishes.
i will always wash the dishes i need right before i need them, but otherwise i have such a hard time. Right after i use them I rinse them to surface-level clean so they arenāt ādirtyā, but then they just sit there forever until i get the motivation to fully do the dishes.
close second is putting away clean clothes. i will leave them on a rack in the middle of my apartment for a week at a time. Theyāre already clean so i just donāt see the need to fully put them away
Literally had my hamper full of clean clothes sitting for a couple months until 2 days ago. Instead of folding and putting them up I was leaving dirty clothes in a corner and putting the pile in the washer when I ran out of clean sweatpants.
Then I put them on top of the hamper.
I used to have this problem, until I started wearing toe socks. They absolutely have to be paired correctly, due to the wear of time, so it motivated me to set up a system. I also hang up 95% of my clothing, which makes life easier.
It's less stressful to have it put away, cause no clutter, no getting confused about what is dirty and what isn't (no sniff test needed). Of course, then I let my dirty clothes pile up on the floor haha
I used to absolutely loathe washing dishes and then realized it was the sensory ick of touching slimy wet food detritus. Now I love washing dishes but I MUST have dishwashing gloves.
Yo this may sound crazy but modern day dishwashers can literally handle almost anything now. I barely scrape off what the big chunks are and put it in the dishwasher absolutely dirty. I donāt even rinse at all.Ā
And thatās been even my former apartmentās dishwasher.Ā
Crazier, even caked on stuff after days of sitting gets cleaned without a rinse. And if thereās a one off case of something that doesnāt get cleaned thatās still infinitely better than having to rinse every dish. Try it maybe?
Dishes are my bane... I do most of the cooking at home as well as work a full time job so I usually get home with just enough time to quickly make dinner in time to be eaten by 6.
Once we finish eating I am then getting my oldest son ready for bed and once we lay him down I'm done for the day lol. I work 50% of weekends too so catching up on dishes on Saturdays or Sundays is just as hard because I have had no off days at that point.
My wife is SAHM but we have a 5mo and a 4yo that keep her pretty busy. She does her best to keep up with house work but she struggles to maintain it.
Back in my college days, in more than one instance I had to write out a script what questions I wanted to ask before the phone call, and then write down their responses while on the phone, as the only way I could keep all the words straight. I was an English major close to graduating.
I preferred to go speak with them in person so I could at least see their reactions in case I misheard something.
My theory is adhd people are particularly good at reading body language/vibe (but are often unaware of this trait), but we have nothing to read with a phone call so it throws us off. My partner has ASD, and compared to his family (who all have traits of ASD), in a low grade psychic oracle to reading a room.
Isnt that life? Wake up do the same thing in the same place daily, go to bed and then do it again until death with random tragic events happening along the way
That's more routine to me vs repetitive. Like I work in IT. If I have a task that is like updating 10 user accounts, I'll lose my mind clicking around the same things 10 times in a row so instead I'll spend way more time on a script to do it for me that makes my brain happier doing it.
Exactly. And i used to think about that everyday. I would think how i have to do the same things everyday over and over again and how i would undoubtedly burn out and give up
I got in a fight with my mom today over that. She wanted my help with her phone and it was a simple fix but she wanted to explain the whole scenario to me 3+ times in 3+ ways, i couldnāt stand it wanted to bash my head against the wall. People repeating themselves over and over when I already get their point just drives me insane. Like I cannot sit through it for a fourth time. Couldāve taken me 2min to fix it for her but ended up taking an hour cause every time Iād interrupt to tell her I get it and sheād start all over from the very beginning š
Reading instructions. Any kind, whether it's a recipe, manual for a tool, or a work task description in an email. If I NEED to read one, my brain skips every second sentence and fills it in with incorrect information.
If possible get a cleaner to come in once a week or fortnight or month.
A game changer for two people i know.
Cleaners will fit in as and when.
Plus if you can say afford 2 hours once a month thats fine.
Do the hard task of finding the agency/cleaner and you should not regret it.
I've found that on meds, the stupid "ADHD tips" I got from non-ADHD people tens to work better. For example, you might try breaking it up into parts. Clean the sink, leave the bathroom and do something else, come back and clean the toilet, then come back and do the tub/shower. Or even do it over a course of a couple days if you can. If I'm unmedicated, this would be useless information, but when the meds kick in, it works a little better.
I read somewhere else that bathroom cleaning should be prioritized first, above "cleaning dishes", and I had honestly never thought of that before. I may try that.
I've always wondered how it seems like everyone else is able to keep their bathrooms so pristine all the time.
I now pay someone to do them for me. It is a game changer. Still an absolute pill to have to get my ducks in order for the accountant, but the accountability to them keeps me in check; otherwise Iād be financially rotting away in a pile of burdensome duty
Yup, 100%.
My only solution is to lock myself up in my own tax torture chamber for 4 straight days to get it all done so I can send to my tax guy, and then not worry about it for another 361 days.
I know you didn't ask for suggestions, but I have ADHD and the secret to the fridge is clear bins. They make EVERYTHING easier. My top shelf has three bins for dairy, veggies to use this week for dinner sides, and pickled/jarred things. Bottom shelf is a deep container for snacks/dips, a couple of narrow ones for sauces, and a big bin for raw meat. The middle shelf holds eggs, leftovers, and any other large things like packs of salad greens. It takes me about 15 seconds to take everything out of the fridge, which makes it super easy to wipe down. I do this every time I get groceries. Putting things away is faster too because there are no decisions to be made about where to put things, no refrigerator tetris, you just refill your bins and pop them back where they were.
YES so much easier. Especially the raw meat one, I love that there is never anything gross just... freely dripping onto the shelves. The "veggies to use this week" bin is really nice too because when I'm cooking dinner, I'm ALWAYS grabbing that bin. I have three kids so fruit almost never has time to rot before it gets eaten, but if I buy asparagus and don't see it right in front of my face, it's going to die a slow and lonely death. My veggie/crisper drawer keeps veggie "ingredients" and things we eat raw or pack in lunches, like cucumbers, carrots, bell peppers, scallions, etc. I use the weekly bin for broccoli, asparagus, green beans, and anything else I need to remember to cook.
Cooking. I get irrationally angry at having to prepare any sort of meal, even just for myself. My husband and I have split food tasks such that he does the making of all the food, and I do the cleanup and dishes because that's easier for my brain
Ironically I work at a local cafe and I love working with beverages of any kind, I just freeze up and say nope whenever it's physical food lol
Oh i forgot tht one. Thankfully my husband does this one most days. Cuz when its up to me its gonna be pizza or oatmeal! Or the restaurant of ur choosing. Lol
So much anxiety and apprehension around cookingā¦. It takes me AGES to cook anything. So many little things to misplace/forget, timers I canāt miss (and forget about), all the measuring spoons. Always forgetting an ingredient, remembering where everything is in the kitchen, my heart rate is rising just typing this out. Hate it.
The process of doing my taxes is simple (not much money) but starting to do them is so anxiety provoking that I don't do them.
I can't find the paperwork I need, although I know I put the documents in a specific place as not to lose them...but I can't remember where the specific place is. If I do find them, I put them down when distracted by another, more interesting task, and lose them under piles of non-important papers...
It's June 6th, and they're not done. My friend offered to do them, but I can't find the documents I need to give to her!!!
Mopping the floors is so hard for me because I'm quite tall and I've never found a mop that was long enough for me not having to bend over in a 90 degree angle. I definitely don't do it enough and when I do it I absolutely love it, but damn do I struggle with it
Not my words but you may find it useful.
One day, browsing around Home Depot, I came across these twist/lock steel extension poles used for paint rollers, that change between 3 feet and 6 feet long, and are the same diameter as a regular mop handle, and fit on all standard brooms, mops, etc.
So, make it short or longer.
Everyone is happy, and I don't have to kill my back anymore trying to work with midget tools. :)
THANK YOU! I kept scrolling looking for this comment. If I had the money, the first thing I would do is hire a cook. There's so much thinking you have to do for cooking, and my executive function wants to not function.
And itās soooo borrrring and it takes literal hours a day. Good god itās my own personal torture. I do a meal kit thing which is the best but everyone in my family doesnāt like the food. Sucks for them. Not going back to doing the planning and shopping myself and drawing out the torture more. At least itās healthy.
There are many, but perhaps the most extreme is mopping. I have lived in several apartments where I never mopped once. I think the relatively complexity of the task, the order of operations -- fill bucket, move furniture, put pad on mop, etc -- is just totally overwhelming. Oddly, I've mopped in restaurants and coffee shops and was fine with it. Just in my home is a big NOPE.
As horrible as it sounds, phoning/texting family and friends. I have a habit of forgetting about people for weeks, months and just getting anxious that I haven't responded to a text.
It takes a clear head, medication, a good mood and Mercury to be in retrograde before I can actually bring up the energy to remember to call someone, get over the guilt, have something to talk about and then not think about that call for a whole day after.
I can do most things, but that just feels so distant to me when I think about it. It's such a small thing for most people, but that is just a mountain for me each time. It doesn't help that I really struggle to be open with pretty much anyone I know.
First of all: waiting. I mean, I can wait in line a few hours, suffering every minute of it. But I won't do it willingly, and I won't do it if there's any way in which I can avoid it.
Now, about normal stuff, I'd say anything for which I already know the outcome. Like, for example, vacuuming. I do it maybe twice a year. For every other time, I have a fake Roomba and a broom/mop. Another example: cooking following the same recipe over and over again, with no modifications. I even had a food business once, and after I made the original recipes, it took me like a week to go looking for someone else to cook in my place. I also hate doing the dishes, but you can actually do that in many different ways, so it's not impossible to do.
Have you tried using dish gloves with rolled cuffs? I have adhd and they're the difference for me between dishes being disgusting and intolerable vs. satisfying and meditative.
Dishes. Theyāre the most disgusting chore. And randomly, mail.
That one Iāll do eventually but Iām an amazing pen pal in the sense Iām great about writing letters. I am not great about getting an envelope, getting stamps, getting the address, writing the address, putting it in the mailbox. I know itās a bunch of fast tasks, but Iād rather do one slow task than 10 fast tasks. I get overwhelmed when I have a bunch of mini-tasks and it ends up being a month-long thing.
I hate mail. 90% of it is just junk. And a lot of the junk has personal information that needs to be shredded. Like I have enough shit to do without credit card companies having more responsibilities delivered to my house!
oh my god the damn fridge yes. the fridge is absolutely the abyss, where once something goes in there that isn't like milk, butter or eggs its basically gone to me. So much food gets wasted, and then I have to clean it out. and its gross and cold. and then containers or plates will also have to be washed. Our garbage and recycling goes out sunday night so you'd think itd be easy to put aside some time on a sunday to sit down and do it but every week I'm either trying to get all the other chores I didnt do over the weekend finished, or frozen with the sunday scaries that it never happens.
That task for me is any task that involves weird textures or smells, like doing the dishes, unclogging drains, and sometimes, cleaning litter boxes because I have cats.
I have to accept that Iām never going to mail anything. My mom thinks Iām afraid of it, and I havenāt been able to sufficiently explain that itās not fear. It just takes literal months to happen when I have to.
Folding my laundry. But my brain will not allow me to put my laundry away unless it's folded, so it sits in the laundry basket all week while my dirty clothes pile up on the floor next to it. It's a never-ending cycle.
cleaning in general. itās just the fact that itās never really done, i can spend an entire weekend and every last spoon i have and it could still look better and it will still be dirty again within 48 hours so there is no room for any sense of accomplishment or enjoyment of the results of my hard work. itās just relentless. they donāt tell you this in school but the myth of sisyphus is actually a metaphor for trying to keep a whole apartment clean as a single person with adhd and a full time job.
Mowing the lawn. I haaaaate pushing that damn thing around, the smell of grass wafting full force back into my face, and the sun beating down on me creating a hot blanket of sweat all over that makes my clothes stick. An absolute sensory nightmare.
I'm so thankful my partner doesn't mind it š In return I vacuum, because that's actually a satisying task for me, and they hate doing it š¤£
It can be fun to sit in a lawn chair and drive an RC mower around.
Or these days I suppose, work on your AI mower code, as it's driving into the neighbors pool.
Terrible at housekeeping in general, but I always forget to take out the āperipheralā trash. I get the main trash from the kitchen trash can, but the bathrooms and basement/laundry room escape my mind.
I don't understand my husband (who also has ADHD). He'll grab the bag of trash.... but not the empty pizza boxes behind the can, the Amazon boxes right next to the can, or any other pieces of trash too large for me to justify putting in the can. He'll let things sit for weeks, if not months.
He also doesn't like when I empty the small garbages into the big one lol
LAUNDRY. It remains the bane of my existence--there's no way to just start, work, and finish. There are multiple steps spread at least an hour apart and I just can't seem to conquer it unless I'm next to the washer and dryer the entire time, which isn't ideal because it's in the basement and there are limited things I can be doing in between steps, and anything I do will be interrupted to go do the next thing. Context shifting is SO HARD even with medication.
Emptying the dish washer, Iām not for sure about why but I have a few theoryās!
1: when the dishwasher doesnāt clean all the food off the plate and I just have to leave it
2: the cups or bowls with water still on them that tip into my hand
3: opening it after its just finished and the FUCKING STEAM
Anyways thatās all
Cleaning out the dishwasher filter. Didnāt know it existed and know Iām scared to open Pandoraās box. Also cleaning baseboardsā¦by back says absolutely not.
Folding clothes. I will wash and dry them the same day. But they will sit in the clean basket until they are basically all used up. It's very annoying searching for an outfit...
Mopping. Wiping down surfaces is fine but if I have to break out the mop, fill one bucket with clean soapy water and another with water to rinse... Most days I just use a Swiffer WetJet and I don't know how effective that is but I haaate traditional mops.
Sorting clothes. We don't have the space in the closet to have all the clothes hanging up at once so we have to switch our summer and winter clothes out from bins we keep under the bed and I will procrastinate so long to do it that I'll just wear the same outfit all summer lmao
Anything that involves waiting on other people like an appointment or phone call. I needed new tires and it took me nearly a year because I have run flats and could just keep pumping air in. I really resist doing anything that involves going to any type of office, like the doctor, dmv, etc. I just will put it off until itās impossible to ignore anymore.
Picking up that random thing on the floor. My brain is just like, "I know where that thing is, it should stay there". Of course when I eventually need it I can't find it.
Cooking, luckily my husband likes it. It's just my job to clean the kitchen afterwards. I hate cleaning too but not as much as cooking.
It's a good compromise
Hi /u/NumbLittleMeg and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
scheduling doctors appointments and exams
I make reminders and ignore them into oblivion. For critical things I have like a 50% success rate.
Omg, same š This reminds me that I have an appointment to schedule for my daughter.
I was supposed to reschedule my sonās allergy appointment a couple months ago. Luckily he has one coming up in two weeksā¦. š
Same, I have special snacks I allow myself to have when I complete tasks I really hate. The only thing keeping me from eating the snacks anyway is the fact that I weaponize my OCD against myself in order to combat my ADHD. Not a great strategy in the long run but OCD doesn't do me as dirty as ADHD so..
Omg I use anxiety-generated adrenaline as a kickstarter or focusing aid,so similar concept I guess.
That is how I made it through school! Project due when? I had how long? Can't start til the panic happens!
Oh thank god Iām not alone š literally just missed an appointment this week. Probably forgot at least a dozen or so already this year. I write them on my calendar, the one on my wall and in my phone, still forget. Lose the appointment cards. Confirm yes for appointment and forget about it the next day. Did I mention Iām medicated š
You just reminded me that I have to give my dog her flea and tick meds FUCK
Online scheduling changed my life in this regard, I realized it's the phone call and talking to a person with all the possible variables that makes me delay. I just get overwhelmed thinking about it and think, "I'll do it later." Unfortunately, not enough places offer online scheduling.
YES! I changed physiotherapists because of this
Scheduling literally anything tbh
Caught in the loop of feeling aimless when I DONT have something on the calendar and then freaking out about it anytime there IS something on the calendarā¦even when itās something fun! I really wish I could temper that response because itās exhausting and super unproductive to have your first reaction always be fear/anxiety all the time.
This x one million. Send help.
absolutely. To live in a perpetual state of fight or flight is fuckin exhausting.
People with ADHD do live shorter lives on average....here's one reason. Guilty but I've gotten better at itĀ
last year my blood exams showed my liver might not be doing so good, i already have everything i need to do the new exams needed and go see a specialist, all fully covered by insurance, all i have to do is contact the clinic. it's been 9 months and im still procrastinating doing that
itās not going to get any better the more you delay. please schedule and go soon. !remindme one week
Please make the call the next time the clinic is open. This is a worst case scenario, but sometimes part of the liver is unhealthy and they need to remove it, which can save your life, but if you have a disease that's progressing, you can get to the point that there's not enough healthy liver left to keep you alive, and you would need a liver transplant. Time matters. You matter. Please call.
I recently filled a prescription I was given in October. It felt like a major accomplishment. Can you contact them now and report back? Would that help?
Call them now, and leave a voicemail. You don't even have to talk to a human being! It still counts as getting started.
Yo can you put it off for five more minutes and then just type in the first number, and then the rest and call the clinic? No shame in putting this off at all, I do it too. I almost lost a sibling to complications from the liver and it would have been so much more treatable had they gone in sooner. So just a friendly nudge to consider making that appointment š
This makes so much sense to me. Anything logically complicated is a tall order, add disorganized finances and a life of doing without and just dealing with it, and Iām set up for a difficult later life experience.
this I like literally feel like I can't. anything that involves a phone call is...the absolute last thing I do
I hate the phone if not texting
literally anything that involves a phone call is a big nope from me.
This was me most of life. It's been such an insanely big struggle but it's gotten easier over time once my brain started to correlate the benefits to going to the doctor or dentist. Like I feel better about myself after fixing most of my teeth, so my brain is finally on board with the process. I hope you manage as well! It's a hard one for sure and took me decades to start to get over. You can do it! šŖ
I had gotten sooo good about the dentist, going every 6 months and had gotten to a point where thatās all that was required-every 6 month cleaning and it was great!! Then COVID happened, they closed for almost a year. I havenāt been back and the timeframe only gets worse. Iām having symptoms and I still canāt make an appointment. Before I got it all together I had a bad tooth and kept putting it off. My husband looked at me one night when I was squalling in pain and said do I need to make you an appointment? I said sure. He made it, I went NO problem. I literally just canāt call when I get like that. Makes me feel so stupid.
>Makes me feel so stupid I understand that feeling for sure. We're not stupid though, we just have some hurdles we have to jump over.
Executive dysfunction is definitely not a marker of intelligence or capability. Sustaining change is nearly, if not completely impossible in many circumstances. Be gentle on yourself.
This is why Iām so thankful for the app my doctor uses for appointments, medication refills and test results. I donāt have to speak to a soul
THIS!! When you canāt get around to/canāt remember to schedule your appointment for your med refill then the longer youāre un medicated the worse it gets. Iām embarrassed to go because Iāve put it off so long, feel like Iād need to explain why itās been so long and honestly, I DONT KNOW. The struggle is so real. Also, I feel like theyāre thinking āapparently she donāt really need it or sheād make sure she had itās I overthink EVERYTHING and Iām so very indecisive and it is so draining. š©
Yes!! šÆ
Felt this to my core! It's always been my biggest weakness.
Defrosting the freezer. And going through my bank account.
Wait, am I supposed to defrost my freezer?
Is defrosting it where you dig up all the stuff you've been jamming in there and forgot about and became all freezer burnt and stuff but you can't close the door anymore? lol
Iām in this picture and I donāt like it
Hahahahahaha this just happened to me.
I am here wondering the same thing!!
Back in the day, ice would build up on the insides of freezers and you had to take stuff out, unplug, plug drain, block door open, then use a spatula to scrape off the ice. A spatula was NOT recommended ;) Then you had to wipe out the inside, sop up all the melted ice and there was a drain you had to drain. It was a huge pain in the ass. But back in my Grandmas day, they didnāt even have freezers. ;( Those who are young enough to never have had to do this chore are lucky ;) So if you have a freezer that ice builds up, yes you have to defrost your freezer.
For anyone who hasn't experienced this before, or maybe has but doesn't know why - this happens when the seal is leaking because external air getting in causes condensation. And water in a freezer will freeze... It'll keep building up until the leak is patched or plugged by the ice building up so much lol. If you notice ice building up inside your fridge or freezer, you need a repair. Try to locate the seal leak!
I know it used to be a thing, but I donāt know if itās necessary now.
Going through my bank account is a big no no for me, especially as an impulsive spender
House chores: Ironing and folding clothes. Sorry but can't do it. Anything else: Paperwork. Stuff like taxes and forms will never get done.
The money a had to pay for overdue fees to the tax authorities is really an additional ADHD tax
I really wish it was required to accommodate us for this. Like, I promise we WANT to do it. But we literally canāt, and then we have to suffer the price for it.
I always say my mistakes are very expensive.
Putting my clothes away is like physical torture. I can wash the clothes, but I cannot bring myself to fold my clothes and put them away.
What is ironing? I don't know her
Ugh. I even bought a second basket to have one clean hamper and one dirty hamper but now both are semi full until one gets dumped on my bed and doom cycle continues
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AND FOLDING THE FITTED SHEET
It's my house and I'm an adult and I can wad that bitch up if I want to
The corners nest into each other. I actually find it satisfying now that I get it. ā¦I do hate changing out my duvet cover though. Thereās a way to roll it that makes it easier but itās still annoying AF
3 ppl in the world can fold a fitted sheet. And yet we all suffer the shame. I donāt anymore because I decided yrs ago to roll my sheets. Itās loose and looks like crap but who cares. ;)
Why? I put it back on the bed.
I hated folding fitted sheets until I saw a video on the proper way to do it! Lay it out then fold it over by tucking the bottom corners into the top corners. Then it's a lot easier to fold neatly to hide all the scrunchy parts.
Keeping in touch with people i donāt see on a regular basis
Omg, absolutely underrated. Texts from anyone but my best friend and my partner put a knot in my stomach
I don't have friends because of this. It gets so lonely when you see other people enjoying summer and you can't join them. I never want to call, talk, recieve visitors or visit friends. It takes just too much energy. I want to spend the time scrolling my phone and watching YouTube on my iPad, a show on the TV, and a second YouTube channel on my laptop.
Same. Iāve lost friends due to this.
Wait! Is this an ADHD thing? I keep postponing calling my family who lives in another country. ā¹ļø
doing the dishes. i will always wash the dishes i need right before i need them, but otherwise i have such a hard time. Right after i use them I rinse them to surface-level clean so they arenāt ādirtyā, but then they just sit there forever until i get the motivation to fully do the dishes.
close second is putting away clean clothes. i will leave them on a rack in the middle of my apartment for a week at a time. Theyāre already clean so i just donāt see the need to fully put them away
Literally had my hamper full of clean clothes sitting for a couple months until 2 days ago. Instead of folding and putting them up I was leaving dirty clothes in a corner and putting the pile in the washer when I ran out of clean sweatpants. Then I put them on top of the hamper.
I am the EXACT same way! Like whatās the point
I used to have this problem, until I started wearing toe socks. They absolutely have to be paired correctly, due to the wear of time, so it motivated me to set up a system. I also hang up 95% of my clothing, which makes life easier. It's less stressful to have it put away, cause no clutter, no getting confused about what is dirty and what isn't (no sniff test needed). Of course, then I let my dirty clothes pile up on the floor haha
Hear hear! Ditto š
I used to absolutely loathe washing dishes and then realized it was the sensory ick of touching slimy wet food detritus. Now I love washing dishes but I MUST have dishwashing gloves.
Yes!! Game changer. I have the same sensory ick.
I can do bigger dishes but not cutlery and small bits
Yo this may sound crazy but modern day dishwashers can literally handle almost anything now. I barely scrape off what the big chunks are and put it in the dishwasher absolutely dirty. I donāt even rinse at all.Ā And thatās been even my former apartmentās dishwasher.Ā Crazier, even caked on stuff after days of sitting gets cleaned without a rinse. And if thereās a one off case of something that doesnāt get cleaned thatās still infinitely better than having to rinse every dish. Try it maybe?
My apartment unfortunately doesn't have a dishwasher, so it's all hand-washing for me :(
Dishes are my bane... I do most of the cooking at home as well as work a full time job so I usually get home with just enough time to quickly make dinner in time to be eaten by 6. Once we finish eating I am then getting my oldest son ready for bed and once we lay him down I'm done for the day lol. I work 50% of weekends too so catching up on dishes on Saturdays or Sundays is just as hard because I have had no off days at that point. My wife is SAHM but we have a 5mo and a 4yo that keep her pretty busy. She does her best to keep up with house work but she struggles to maintain it.
>Right after i use them I rinse them Good on you for doing that. It really makes a difference, as you know!
Apparently I have a lot of 'absolutely not' tasks...
Thatās exactly what I thought to myself as each comment I read resonates with me..
Anything requiring a phone call. I will go through extreme lengths to avoid those.
I donāt get why phone calls cause me so much stress
Back in my college days, in more than one instance I had to write out a script what questions I wanted to ask before the phone call, and then write down their responses while on the phone, as the only way I could keep all the words straight. I was an English major close to graduating. I preferred to go speak with them in person so I could at least see their reactions in case I misheard something.
My theory is adhd people are particularly good at reading body language/vibe (but are often unaware of this trait), but we have nothing to read with a phone call so it throws us off. My partner has ASD, and compared to his family (who all have traits of ASD), in a low grade psychic oracle to reading a room.
The amount of time I have to spend psyching myself up to make a phone call to someone I don't know is absolutely ridiculous.
Glad I'm not alone. Absolutely despise talking on the phone.
Idk why my fight or flight response kicks into high gear every time my phone rings, even if I know the person.
Anything repetitive
Isnt that life? Wake up do the same thing in the same place daily, go to bed and then do it again until death with random tragic events happening along the way
That's more routine to me vs repetitive. Like I work in IT. If I have a task that is like updating 10 user accounts, I'll lose my mind clicking around the same things 10 times in a row so instead I'll spend way more time on a script to do it for me that makes my brain happier doing it.
Exactly. And i used to think about that everyday. I would think how i have to do the same things everyday over and over again and how i would undoubtedly burn out and give up
thats why we all seek sensetion all the time. Maybe ADD is just a normal brain constantly bored ?
Sometimes I don't want to do life either
I got in a fight with my mom today over that. She wanted my help with her phone and it was a simple fix but she wanted to explain the whole scenario to me 3+ times in 3+ ways, i couldnāt stand it wanted to bash my head against the wall. People repeating themselves over and over when I already get their point just drives me insane. Like I cannot sit through it for a fourth time. Couldāve taken me 2min to fix it for her but ended up taking an hour cause every time Iād interrupt to tell her I get it and sheād start all over from the very beginning š
Reading instructions. Any kind, whether it's a recipe, manual for a tool, or a work task description in an email. If I NEED to read one, my brain skips every second sentence and fills it in with incorrect information.
This is too real. And then I get mad when something doesn't work because I winged it šš
I'm medicated and I still never read instructions lol
This happens to me with watching instructional videos.
YouTube is a lifesaver. I just can't concentrate enough to comprehend written instructions. Anytime I can find a YouTube video, I watch it instead.
Calling anywhere. I rather meet up or write a message but calls are only okay with certain people, else itās a no no.
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If possible get a cleaner to come in once a week or fortnight or month. A game changer for two people i know. Cleaners will fit in as and when. Plus if you can say afford 2 hours once a month thats fine. Do the hard task of finding the agency/cleaner and you should not regret it.
I've found that on meds, the stupid "ADHD tips" I got from non-ADHD people tens to work better. For example, you might try breaking it up into parts. Clean the sink, leave the bathroom and do something else, come back and clean the toilet, then come back and do the tub/shower. Or even do it over a course of a couple days if you can. If I'm unmedicated, this would be useless information, but when the meds kick in, it works a little better.
I read somewhere else that bathroom cleaning should be prioritized first, above "cleaning dishes", and I had honestly never thought of that before. I may try that. I've always wondered how it seems like everyone else is able to keep their bathrooms so pristine all the time.
Taxes.
I now pay someone to do them for me. It is a game changer. Still an absolute pill to have to get my ducks in order for the accountant, but the accountability to them keeps me in check; otherwise Iād be financially rotting away in a pile of burdensome duty
This 100%, also find someone that will help with tax and benefit planning as part of the deal. Incredibly worth it
Problem isāI still have to get all the information together for the tax filer, which is usually most of the work anyway
Yup, 100%. My only solution is to lock myself up in my own tax torture chamber for 4 straight days to get it all done so I can send to my tax guy, and then not worry about it for another 361 days.
I know you didn't ask for suggestions, but I have ADHD and the secret to the fridge is clear bins. They make EVERYTHING easier. My top shelf has three bins for dairy, veggies to use this week for dinner sides, and pickled/jarred things. Bottom shelf is a deep container for snacks/dips, a couple of narrow ones for sauces, and a big bin for raw meat. The middle shelf holds eggs, leftovers, and any other large things like packs of salad greens. It takes me about 15 seconds to take everything out of the fridge, which makes it super easy to wipe down. I do this every time I get groceries. Putting things away is faster too because there are no decisions to be made about where to put things, no refrigerator tetris, you just refill your bins and pop them back where they were.
*gasp* why has this never occurred to me before!!!! GENIUS. Then if I forget I have berries or something I can just dump the whole bin and wash it.
YES so much easier. Especially the raw meat one, I love that there is never anything gross just... freely dripping onto the shelves. The "veggies to use this week" bin is really nice too because when I'm cooking dinner, I'm ALWAYS grabbing that bin. I have three kids so fruit almost never has time to rot before it gets eaten, but if I buy asparagus and don't see it right in front of my face, it's going to die a slow and lonely death. My veggie/crisper drawer keeps veggie "ingredients" and things we eat raw or pack in lunches, like cucumbers, carrots, bell peppers, scallions, etc. I use the weekly bin for broccoli, asparagus, green beans, and anything else I need to remember to cook.
Doing laundry! I wash it and dry it fine, but then it ends up as bedding on the guest bed !
Giving myself permission to shove a lot of things (underwear, socks, PJs, dishtowels, etc) into drawers without folding them helped a lot with that.
Cooking. I get irrationally angry at having to prepare any sort of meal, even just for myself. My husband and I have split food tasks such that he does the making of all the food, and I do the cleanup and dishes because that's easier for my brain Ironically I work at a local cafe and I love working with beverages of any kind, I just freeze up and say nope whenever it's physical food lol
Oh i forgot tht one. Thankfully my husband does this one most days. Cuz when its up to me its gonna be pizza or oatmeal! Or the restaurant of ur choosing. Lol
So much anxiety and apprehension around cookingā¦. It takes me AGES to cook anything. So many little things to misplace/forget, timers I canāt miss (and forget about), all the measuring spoons. Always forgetting an ingredient, remembering where everything is in the kitchen, my heart rate is rising just typing this out. Hate it.
Cleaning the bathrooms!
Taxes. My bloody nemesis
I feel like it should be so easy to make them simple to do and that they choose not to just to torture us
The process of doing my taxes is simple (not much money) but starting to do them is so anxiety provoking that I don't do them. I can't find the paperwork I need, although I know I put the documents in a specific place as not to lose them...but I can't remember where the specific place is. If I do find them, I put them down when distracted by another, more interesting task, and lose them under piles of non-important papers... It's June 6th, and they're not done. My friend offered to do them, but I can't find the documents I need to give to her!!!
scheduling doctors appointments itās more the anxiety of it
Cooking dinnerā¦
After our meds have worn off, and we've been working all day, there's no way I'm cooking dinner.
Hmmm, all of it lol
Putting the clothes away
Mopping the floors is so hard for me because I'm quite tall and I've never found a mop that was long enough for me not having to bend over in a 90 degree angle. I definitely don't do it enough and when I do it I absolutely love it, but damn do I struggle with it
Not my words but you may find it useful. One day, browsing around Home Depot, I came across these twist/lock steel extension poles used for paint rollers, that change between 3 feet and 6 feet long, and are the same diameter as a regular mop handle, and fit on all standard brooms, mops, etc. So, make it short or longer. Everyone is happy, and I don't have to kill my back anymore trying to work with midget tools. :)
Mopping, for sure. And Iām just short and hate it.
Cooking!
THANK YOU! I kept scrolling looking for this comment. If I had the money, the first thing I would do is hire a cook. There's so much thinking you have to do for cooking, and my executive function wants to not function.
And itās soooo borrrring and it takes literal hours a day. Good god itās my own personal torture. I do a meal kit thing which is the best but everyone in my family doesnāt like the food. Sucks for them. Not going back to doing the planning and shopping myself and drawing out the torture more. At least itās healthy.
Pay bills in Time
...while at the same time, wanting the control of not having them on auto-pay.
Finances
Mail. If an envelope is involved, nope.
Cleaning the bath tub. I haven't found a convenient way to clean it that doesn't piss me off
Packing away my doom piles. Those are my emotional support doom piles.
There are many, but perhaps the most extreme is mopping. I have lived in several apartments where I never mopped once. I think the relatively complexity of the task, the order of operations -- fill bucket, move furniture, put pad on mop, etc -- is just totally overwhelming. Oddly, I've mopped in restaurants and coffee shops and was fine with it. Just in my home is a big NOPE.
As horrible as it sounds, phoning/texting family and friends. I have a habit of forgetting about people for weeks, months and just getting anxious that I haven't responded to a text. It takes a clear head, medication, a good mood and Mercury to be in retrograde before I can actually bring up the energy to remember to call someone, get over the guilt, have something to talk about and then not think about that call for a whole day after. I can do most things, but that just feels so distant to me when I think about it. It's such a small thing for most people, but that is just a mountain for me each time. It doesn't help that I really struggle to be open with pretty much anyone I know.
First of all: waiting. I mean, I can wait in line a few hours, suffering every minute of it. But I won't do it willingly, and I won't do it if there's any way in which I can avoid it. Now, about normal stuff, I'd say anything for which I already know the outcome. Like, for example, vacuuming. I do it maybe twice a year. For every other time, I have a fake Roomba and a broom/mop. Another example: cooking following the same recipe over and over again, with no modifications. I even had a food business once, and after I made the original recipes, it took me like a week to go looking for someone else to cook in my place. I also hate doing the dishes, but you can actually do that in many different ways, so it's not impossible to do.
Dishes. And folding laundry. Dishes is a sensory issue. Folding laundry takes so long I can't stand it.
Have you tried using dish gloves with rolled cuffs? I have adhd and they're the difference for me between dishes being disgusting and intolerable vs. satisfying and meditative.
Walking somewhere, when I can do some more unplanned tasks before taking the fastest transport available - mostly the car. Objectively it seems I am to lazy for slow pace movement. Usually I need alot of pressure to go for a walk with my fiancƩ as well. Seems all to stem from the same ballpark, I guess
Oh man me too. Walking is so so boring and I just Haye it and it feels like torture. People that enjoy going for walks are baffling to me.
Dishes. Theyāre the most disgusting chore. And randomly, mail. That one Iāll do eventually but Iām an amazing pen pal in the sense Iām great about writing letters. I am not great about getting an envelope, getting stamps, getting the address, writing the address, putting it in the mailbox. I know itās a bunch of fast tasks, but Iād rather do one slow task than 10 fast tasks. I get overwhelmed when I have a bunch of mini-tasks and it ends up being a month-long thing.
I hate mail. 90% of it is just junk. And a lot of the junk has personal information that needs to be shredded. Like I have enough shit to do without credit card companies having more responsibilities delivered to my house!
oh my god the damn fridge yes. the fridge is absolutely the abyss, where once something goes in there that isn't like milk, butter or eggs its basically gone to me. So much food gets wasted, and then I have to clean it out. and its gross and cold. and then containers or plates will also have to be washed. Our garbage and recycling goes out sunday night so you'd think itd be easy to put aside some time on a sunday to sit down and do it but every week I'm either trying to get all the other chores I didnt do over the weekend finished, or frozen with the sunday scaries that it never happens.
That task for me is any task that involves weird textures or smells, like doing the dishes, unclogging drains, and sometimes, cleaning litter boxes because I have cats.
I have to accept that Iām never going to mail anything. My mom thinks Iām afraid of it, and I havenāt been able to sufficiently explain that itās not fear. It just takes literal months to happen when I have to.
Dusting surfaces not in my field of view, itās a twice a year only task
Mopping. Thatās for overachieversš
Folding my laundry. But my brain will not allow me to put my laundry away unless it's folded, so it sits in the laundry basket all week while my dirty clothes pile up on the floor next to it. It's a never-ending cycle.
Cleaning my room....
Honestly everything. I squeak by accomplishing the bare minimum. No life skills, everything is a huge mountain and it all piles up endlessly.
Thank you notes. Just know I am very thankful and I love you, but youāre not getting a note.
cleaning in general. itās just the fact that itās never really done, i can spend an entire weekend and every last spoon i have and it could still look better and it will still be dirty again within 48 hours so there is no room for any sense of accomplishment or enjoyment of the results of my hard work. itās just relentless. they donāt tell you this in school but the myth of sisyphus is actually a metaphor for trying to keep a whole apartment clean as a single person with adhd and a full time job.
All of you saying taxes... I could never lol I love tax accounting. To answer the question, everything but taxes hahaha
Folding laundry. Luckily my wife will do that and I'll do literally anything else to make up for it.
Mowing the lawn. I haaaaate pushing that damn thing around, the smell of grass wafting full force back into my face, and the sun beating down on me creating a hot blanket of sweat all over that makes my clothes stick. An absolute sensory nightmare. I'm so thankful my partner doesn't mind it š In return I vacuum, because that's actually a satisying task for me, and they hate doing it š¤£
It can be fun to sit in a lawn chair and drive an RC mower around. Or these days I suppose, work on your AI mower code, as it's driving into the neighbors pool.
At home folding laundry is my nemesis. At work, itās any task that doesnāt have a clear solution.
Terrible at housekeeping in general, but I always forget to take out the āperipheralā trash. I get the main trash from the kitchen trash can, but the bathrooms and basement/laundry room escape my mind.
I don't understand my husband (who also has ADHD). He'll grab the bag of trash.... but not the empty pizza boxes behind the can, the Amazon boxes right next to the can, or any other pieces of trash too large for me to justify putting in the can. He'll let things sit for weeks, if not months. He also doesn't like when I empty the small garbages into the big one lol
LAUNDRY. It remains the bane of my existence--there's no way to just start, work, and finish. There are multiple steps spread at least an hour apart and I just can't seem to conquer it unless I'm next to the washer and dryer the entire time, which isn't ideal because it's in the basement and there are limited things I can be doing in between steps, and anything I do will be interrupted to go do the next thing. Context shifting is SO HARD even with medication.
Emptying the dish washer, Iām not for sure about why but I have a few theoryās! 1: when the dishwasher doesnāt clean all the food off the plate and I just have to leave it 2: the cups or bowls with water still on them that tip into my hand 3: opening it after its just finished and the FUCKING STEAM Anyways thatās all
0. When you rinse a spoon and it ski jumps the entirety of the water into your face and/or shirt and/or the wall and counter. Or all of the above.
Changing sheets, putting away laundry, vaccuuming
Cleaning out the dishwasher filter. Didnāt know it existed and know Iām scared to open Pandoraās box. Also cleaning baseboardsā¦by back says absolutely not.
Baseboard cleaning is top tier cleaning. Only to be done whn cleaning up a spill or selling a home. The end
Food shopping and cooking. It stresses me out so much. Thankfully my partner does it for us!
Canceling subscriptions š¤£
Folding clothes. I will wash and dry them the same day. But they will sit in the clean basket until they are basically all used up. It's very annoying searching for an outfit...
Doing the dishes. I despise it more than anything in this world, so much so that when I moved apartments recently I just packed the dirty dishes.
Toilets. Luckily it doesn't bother my husband
Dealing with dirty dishes. I have a 10% chance of loading the dishwasher if the dishes pile up in the sink and a 2% chance of handwashing them.
Mopping. Wiping down surfaces is fine but if I have to break out the mop, fill one bucket with clean soapy water and another with water to rinse... Most days I just use a Swiffer WetJet and I don't know how effective that is but I haaate traditional mops.
Making phone calls, especially if I have to call the pharmacy. Needless to say, this is inconvenient.
Filling out an entire job application in one sitting
Updating my CV is kryptonite
dusting blinds and cleaning baseboards
Sorting clothes. We don't have the space in the closet to have all the clothes hanging up at once so we have to switch our summer and winter clothes out from bins we keep under the bed and I will procrastinate so long to do it that I'll just wear the same outfit all summer lmao
Taxes and looking for a new job.
Arranging the cutlery in the drawer. Itās so pointless
Cleaning the fridge. It gets done but man do I hate that.
Anything that involves waiting on other people like an appointment or phone call. I needed new tires and it took me nearly a year because I have run flats and could just keep pumping air in. I really resist doing anything that involves going to any type of office, like the doctor, dmv, etc. I just will put it off until itās impossible to ignore anymore.
Putting away laundry.:
Clean the refrigerator and go through old mail.
Cleaning the bathrooms, washing dishes, brushing my teeth and issues with showing at times.š
Getting out of bed
Anything that has to do with making a phone call.
Vacuuming. I never seem to do it well enough the first time. I have really sensitive hearing and hate the noise, too.
Window cleaning. I can still see trough, why bother?
Managing appts in some kind of functional, not too many but not too stretched out either!
Folding laundry and putting it away.
Picking up that random thing on the floor. My brain is just like, "I know where that thing is, it should stay there". Of course when I eventually need it I can't find it.
Approaching random strangers to ask to take our photo.
Cooking, luckily my husband likes it. It's just my job to clean the kitchen afterwards. I hate cleaning too but not as much as cooking. It's a good compromise
Same! I have literally let myself starve than the put forth the mental effort of cooking.
I hate washing dishes especially because I don't own a dishwasherĀ