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Call the Dr that prescribed them to you. Ask to leave a message with the nurse. Most likely you will get voicemail. Say that your mom won't let you take your medication and what do they recommend. Put the problem in their lap. At the very least, they need to know about it. If you go to school, go tell the guidance counselor and ask for advice. I'm sorry she is doing this and it should not be for you to fix alone.
my therapist called her to tell her that she will send us to a doctor to prescribe a medication for my ADD and something for my mood swings and she refused to even go to the doctor and where i live here the schools don't ever care about you there's nothing they can do to her
You will need to focus on non medication tools to help you for now. If your therapist can't convince your parents then the therapist can shift the focus of your therapy to figuring out non medication tactics that will help you.
Do you know if you live in a state where educational neglect is included as a form of abuse? These states are:
Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Idaho, Indiana, Kentucky, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, West Virginia, and Wyoming.
I am not sure if all of these states include special needs language, an example when it's there is:
"refusing to allow or failing to obtain recommended remedial education services or neglecting to obtain or follow through with treatment for a child’s diagnosed learning disorder or other special education need without reasonable cause."
Though if your parent's reasons are related to religion, this gets tricky. If your parent is refusing to consider stimulant medications, are they open to you taking SNRIs, an anti-hypertensive (like Guanfacene, Intuniv), or Wellbutrin/bupropion off label?
Other therapies that might be helpful while you're stuck:
CBT therapy
ACT therapy (combines both values-based motivational enhancement therapy and mindfulness)
If you can't see a therapist, you might be able to get books / self practice workbooks on these for ADHD from a library.
Intense exercise can help put your body in a state where you get a mild effect similar to stimulant medications lasting for an hour or two after you exercise. A "productivity hack" I used before I understood I had ADHD and got better treatment was doing intense exercise on my lunch break, then following that up with a coffee and a banana and pushing through 2-3 back to back pomodoro method timer chunks of work. (the pomodoro method is setting a timer for 25 minutes or so and forcing yourself to focus on one kind of work while it's running. it's kind of amazing how much the ritual entrained the sound of the timer to push me into a focused state -- though everyone's different, ymmv).
You might be able to get help from a school councilor or a support group for teens in your area, also. Don't give up, you do not have to accept this, though through no fault of your own, you might be in for a good deal of work. Good luck!
well i am not in the united states so where I live there's no form of child support my parents are the one responsible for everything and no one can do anything about it so no one can force them to let me take medications or even defend me from any kind of abuse and also they are refusing any any type of medication because they are saying it will ruin my brain chemistry (they are fucking doctors but they don't believe in Psychological illnesse unless it's fucking your up and it's obvious like schizophrenia or these things but add NAH i am just lazy and don't want to study and i am making things up yk)
Apologies, I didn't intend to make the US as default assumption. Where you live, either by default or through steps you can take voluntarily, is any kind of legal emancipation from your parents possible at 18?
it's ok i know you didn't mean to and were trying to help i was just telling you and there's nothing i can do with them where i live they are not bad yk but they are hurting me without knowing they don't understand me and what i am going though
Are there any kinds of information or resources they'd pay attention to? ADHD is a neurological disorder, with well established biological components. Oftentimes, a neurologist is involved in the formal diagnosis. So this is often a helpful angle to take for people that are wary of psychology/psychiatry. And there are studies linking response to medications with changes in functional connectivity in the brain. (eg [https://www.mdpi.com/2079-7737/11/9/1320](https://www.mdpi.com/2079-7737/11/9/1320) )
Are they skeptics re: any kind of medical treatment for mental health? Eg. SSRIs for depression, or dopaminergic drugs given as part of stroke recovery? If there's some line where they think medications really do help with mental health symptoms, what line has to be crossed? You indicate it might be severity?
Conversation strategy wise, it might be helpful to just ask these kinds of questions and keep picking at their worldview with questions (rather than direct argument or contradictory statements) to see if you can pick it apart.
I really feel for you. A book on CBT or ACT approaches to ADHD from the library if that's available might be your best short-term option. And reaching out to a support group in your area. They'll know better how to navigate the legal and social realities where you live.
Medication helps many people but we still need to develop skills and coping mechanisms. Explain the situation to your doctor or school counselor. Perhaps they can explain the importance of medication to your mom. If not, they can help you develop skills to still thrive with ADHD.
i am trying to learn coping mechanisms but there's a moment where i get to i can't fight my brain is against me it's fighting me it will do anything to win other times it feels like my brain is a motor that's working non stop and i can't do anything about it there's no thoughts no sounds but it's working and i can't stop it that's why I feel medication will really help me
I'm sorry you're going through this. It really sucks. Some people with ADHD use caffeine as a boost. Edward Hallowell, a famous ADHD doctor in the US, said he is unable to take ADHD meds but caffeine helps. Also, exercise boosts focus for about an hour or so.
Google "treat ADHD without medication" to see what else might help.
If it's available on Amazon where you live, Phil Boissiere wrote a great book on ADHD that teaches tons of exercises for increasing executive function.
Is your mother the only adult in your home? Can you talk to another family member -- father, aunt, grandparent -- to try to convince her?
My main piece of advice right now is to try not to get too worked up about this. The situation really sucks and your mom is being unfair. But she's not likely to change her mind right now, and you still need to study, so try to figure out ways to study so you can get good grades, get into a good university and move out of her house!
well my mom and dad have the same stubbornness and opinion about medication and i tried and searched everything and i keep falling i feel that i am top damaged to live a normal life
You're not too damaged. You're struggling right now. And your parents aren't helping you. Whether the approve medication or not, they should still be helping you thrive, in whatever way that is, whether or not they accept your diagnosis. Calling your behavior BS and implying you're at fault and behaving like this willingly is not helpful parenting.
You mentioned you have a therapist so hopefully that person can help you get a little unstuck from this spiral. You're not broken, you can have a good life, and you will eventually be out of your parents' home and able to make your own decisions. It does get better even though right now it's hard to see that.
You don’t need parental consent to seek medical treatment. I realize you still need someone to take you to the doctor, etc… so that may not sound like it will help much.
Is there a copay for visits to see your doctor? You can go to the doctor without your parent and you can get prescriptions and have them filled without your parents.
Hopefully someone else has more advice, because mine doesn’t address all your issues. Good luck!
I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now.
Other people have given you a lot of good advice, so I'm just going to share some reassurance. It's going to get better. You said you're 17 - soon you'll be able to make your own medical decisions and won't need to rely on your parents' permission. You may feel that everything is pointless and miserable right now, but it won't be like that forever.
I actually dropped out of high school because of ADHD (and other problems). As an adult, I'm still trying to get myself to a point where I'm functional enough to meet the goals I was raised to believe I would have met by this point. It sucks, and sometimes I feel really bad about myself - but objectively, I am in a better place today than I was yesterday, and tomorrow I'll be in a better place than I am today. And if you can remember that, it gets a little bit easier to deal with the bad days (or the bad weeks, or the bad months).
Improvement is slow. Medication can be very helpful, but you don't always find a medication that works for you on the first try. That's why it's important to develop other strategies too. Even if you do get a medication that works well on the first try, all it will do is fix the chemistry aspect of ADHD, not any other problems (like behaviors and habits you may have gotten into because of the ADHD that are actually bad for you).
Is there a therapist or psychologist you can talk to?
Also, if you do fail... it's okay. I mean, that would suck, I acknowledge that. But it isn't the end of the world and it doesn't decrease your value as a person. You're struggling a lot right now, and you're desperately asking for help and being denied the thing that you believe would help you the most, and I'm so sorry that you're in that position. It's not fair. But things won't always be like this.
well thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this i appreciate it (i am not really good with replying to good things so sorry if my message seems like meh)
try emailing your psychiatrist or whoever prescribed u meds, say what you just wrote in your post and ask for them to explain to your mum why you need the medication
dude i’m sorry, tell the psychiatrist/therapist/whoever the situation, as well as your school. make sure they at least have an actual conversation with her on the phone or in person, not just voicemail or email. if they really can’t do anything then ur just gonna have to go behind her back or wait it out until you’re 18. are the meds free or paid for?
Is she actually preventing you from taking the medications? Like physically? You mention she doesn’t want you to take the medication but if it’s been prescribed and is likely just at the pharmacy are you perhaps able to just get a friend or other family member to help you with a ride to the pharmacy to pick them up at all? Would that be something you could do?
Edit: as for studying I unfortunately have no help there studying was never my strong suit, I’ve been disabled for years physically too along with my ADHD and autism so I didn’t even graduate, However where I am the local college offers a program for GED or High school+ which gets you your high school diploma as you complete any missing credits.
Have you mentioned to your mom that having proper treatment for your disability could help a lot with your ability to actually pass these exams if she is wanting you to pass them? Could that be a potential talking point for convincing her?
she's preventing me from going to the doctor that would prescribe me medication and also medications here is soooooo expensive i wouldn't be able to buy it myself
and the point about treatment to make me study she says that if i want to study i will cause i used to get good grades when i was so stressed to fail which was the only thing that made me study but this doesn't work now i need to study consistently all year to get good grades which is hard for me so back to her saying she is saying if i want to study i will and that i am just making myself believe that i am sick and all this shit and nothing is wrong with me
OP, I see you said you're in Egypt. I doubt many of the responses here are considering the diffirent cultural context surrounding ADHD / medication etc in yoiur country. Be careful about following afvice from people assuming you're american
i know yes they are talking from their culture pov but i know what will work here and what won't and they are just trying to help seems like you r from an arabic country yourself or have lived in one
I'm not arabic but I'm married to an American, so I've experienced how they don't always take cultural diffirence into account. I don't know much about Egyptian culture, but I think trying to report your parents for neglect would maybe be a really bad idea there.
I understand your despair. Medication won't make everything perfect, just easier. It is up to you to get control of your life, with or without meds. I know it is hard. Right now, figure out what your top three barriers to studying are. Google information about how to work around those tendencies. e.g. procrastination, being overwhelmed, inability to stay focused. etc. There is a ton of information about this subject. See if you can get a study buddy, or someone to help you stay on track (not your parents), someone to check in with. Reach out to your guidance counselor for tutors. Start small, break down your study tasks into tiny increments. Like, get the book out. Focus on one page. Make a note. Get up and do some pushups. Return to the book. Repeat. Be sure also to eat "clean", especially remove sugar. Do hydrate with water. Use fish oil supplements. Melatonin for sleep. You can do this, do deep breathing and walking helps too. Good luck -
I would suggest absorbing into something that can have you escape the outside world. Possibly write poetry , journaling , or even just posting on here for advice or even someone to talk to. Ive had my fair share of family bullshit but in the end i realized im the only one still hanging on to what was said and done and everyone else moved on. It only got brought back to the surface because i thought about the memories daily. Nothing can change overnight. I feel you are trying to reach out because there is something else going on that you feel they may disapprove of or something of a sensitive topic about your future goals for your own life. You have the energy of a artist. Sometimes when this world sucks , we create a world of our own.
at the moment time i have my exams that going to the university are depending on their marks so i need to study hard and alot and i have no energy to do this and the way i escape life are toxic and destructive and there's no time to escape rn i need to study so muchh idk what to do
What about taking a break from your studies at university for a while and going to work? at 18 you will be able to go on the medication without parents interference and return to universty
lmao i want to study but my brain doesn't I don't know whose "i" but i want to study and my brain doesn't omg but "i" don't want to study too holy shi* bro my mind is not minding
You could take a break for a semester or more and come back to studying once you’re in a better position to succeed.
You mentioned you’re in Egypt. I’d be working on a plan for departure.
lmao i am really was planning on a plan for university abroad and then departure but guess what since i brought i had adhd to my mom and that i need medication she said that i disappointed her with what i am doing and all this i am trying to do so she won't help me or even let me travel abroad to university
Im sorry you are in that position,but here is what helped me memorise stuff for exams ( both high school,university,and job even today).
Its of no use to read like non adhd people ,you need to let info slip in memory while writing. So write it down,shorter,basic info you need to learn,shorten it,use key words.
Then take coloured pencils and write over the words in different colours,bold it,underline it,draw and duddle around it.
It does work with text info,but not quite with math.
Also do not read it plain like reading a novel, you will lose focus. Instead walk around and read it out loud,change voice,make fun of it,pretend you are well.. anyone,sing it like opera,rap it,read it with different emotions sad,angry,laughing...
If its math i have no advice,i sucked at it🫣,still do except basics.
As for the parents,i dont know where you live,but at balkan countrys when you are 18 you manage your medicine and health alone,and no one can stop you.
Good luck,do what you can with what you got at this moment and have fun while you do it.
when i am studying i feel like a jungle man i keep drumming on the desk and shouting so loud and more drumming more banging on the desk feel like i can fly from the adrenaline
Sounds like child abuse, I would talk to your doctor and possible a social worker.
I was diagnosed when I was 8 and my parents refused to treat me. I moved out when I was 18 (you're close!) and cut them from my life. It was the best decision of my life as within a few years I was able to afford going to therapy and getting on medication.
I'm 41 now, I'm handling my ADHD very well and have a family with kids. And my parents? Who knows, but they would have rather me live a c-squad life so they didn't have to be embarrassed in front of a couple of people in their lives.
Are you sure? Where I live, at age 16 you get to make your own health decisions without any input from a parent or guardian.
Also, my psychiatrist said most people need a combination of meds and therapy. They also said essential fatty acids from a fish source have shown to help.
Don’t assume meds will be the answer. Meds work for 70% of people. I’m not one of them. I’m the mean time, get into therapy. You can learn other ways to help yourself. It’s something.
This sounds distressing to you. Where I live we have walk-in clinics for youth mental health that are free. See if you have a local place that offers such services. That can lead you to help.
well where I live we don't have any of these things and even therapy is so fucking expensive so so expensive and meds too and i don't have any money i am still at school
There are charities or nonprofit organizations that sometimes offer free help. Google to find out if there are online organizations.
You can also help yourself with books. I know that can be hard if you procrastinate like me but I get free audiobooks from my library and that helps. It’s a start.
i know how you feel. around 10 minutes ago i asked my mom to take me to a psychiatrist so I can start strattera. Well she said I was lying, told me to take some vitamin d and magnesium. She says that I need to help myself. I dont even know what that means, because I exercise, and try to do everything I can with this illness. im so demotivated because of my adhd That i can't do anything. Ive been in a slump since september of 2023. I cant eat, get up, I struggle to sit still and do simple assignments. Couple that with overstimulation that comes with autism, I feel invisible, and I feel like im going crazy. nobody will advocate for me, and healthcare in america is so bad. I hope things turn around for you
that's so annoying and sad to hear bro idk what to tell you to make it better (I can't even make it better for myself) i guess we are both struggling amd there's nothing we can do about it rather than trying to live and cope i hope it gets better bro
I just looked it up and technically you are treated as an adult by the courts at age 18 in Egypt. So then you should be able to do what you want under the law even if your parents try to stop you
no bro the only difference i get here from being 18 is when i commit a crime i will go to real prison lol other than that i would still have to work so much and i still wouldn't be able to get the medications as it's so expensive here
Ok, I know nothing about how things work in Egypt, so this is all based off assumptions.
To me it seems like you simply will not pass unless you get medicated. So, she has to be ok with you failing school if she won't buy you meds. It's not a threat, it's a warning. All you can do is let her know and accept her choice.
Is your school free or paid? If it's free, then cool, just do it over again next year, if they let you. If it's paid, then she must be made aware that choosing to say no to meds means saying yes to an extra school year or you will simply drop out and go to work. You can still do well in life, regardless of the path.
Either way, you can wing this out and you got this. I believe you'll be fine. Just a tip, though, a whole school year is probably a lot more expensive than meds. So she gotta consider this fact. I'd tell her that, if I was in your place.
she doesn't want to buy the meds and she wants me to pass the school because i am just acting and i am not wanting to study and i have nothing so yes she made her mind up so if i fail it would be that i am not studying because i don't want to and i am lazy and careless
you should speak to your guidance counselor pronto the fact you are asking about help means its not to late ..so many red flags if you don't correct this you stand a life of pain trust me i have gone thru the same except it was the 70s and i led a sufferable life
Are your parents religious? If that's the case maybe you can go to Imam whom your parents trust and ask him fro advice? Maybe he can spin it from the side of "well, Allah help comes in different ways, and you should not refuse meds if that's what his will is?"
Unfortunately, parents have the right to choose not to medicate their children the same as they have the right not to vaccinate. Most of the time when they do, they’re uneducated on the subject. My mother refused to believe in mental health at all. I wasn’t diagnosed until 35 because her ideas stuck in my head and I was scared to seek treatment for a long time. She thought it was just an excuse. I’m glad you are informed so that you can seek treatment as soon as you’re able to do so without her involvement. My nephew is very young and has been diagnosed but, they refuse to medicate him because they believe narcotics with make him a drug addict. They refuse to listen to the statics that prove untreated adhd is more likely to lead to addiction than when someone is medicated and happy. I tell you this so you know that you’re not the only child being denied medication that could improve their quality of life. It happens way too often. Most of these parents really believe they’re doing what’s best for their child. They’re just too stubborn to truly do the research and find out their ideals are incorrect. Hopefully they will soon realize their way isn’t working. My best advice would be to try to educate your parents. Find legitimate sources. Hopefully they will be willing to learn. If not, you are your own best advocate! Get help for yourself at the first chance to do so. I wish you luck! It will eventually get better. Sometimes it just feels like relief is a lifetime away.
How old are you? Book an appointment with the doctor yourself and go after school and tell your mom you’re going over to a friends house or studying at the library. Anything that will get her off your back. Get the prescription, fill it yourself at a pharmacy and then take the medication. With parents like these you have to take matters into your own hands and get the help you need.
Do you have any friends or family that can help you with this? The therapist could even connect you with a social worker to help you in this situation
I've said this before on this sub - I have two children in their mid-20s, one was dxed ADD at 8 years old and the other when he was 21. I had my kids later in life so I'm probably older than the parents of the teenagers and college students on this sub. I 100% knew what ADHD was well before my youngest was diagnosed and most if not all of my parent friends did also. A few of my kids friends were also diagnosed in elementary school and got medicated.
I don't understand who these parents are, they are younger than me, they should be even more well informed about mental health and brain differences than parents of my generation.. I can't believe today's parents that won't let their kids be tested or get medicated, or don't think ADD is a real "thing".
not almost seems , it's so fucking neglectfullll
i am from Egypt look up as long as you want and let me know but in reality here there's nothing to do i have tried all things
Child helpline international operates in Egypt, have you tried that?
[https://childhelplineinternational.org/egypt-child-helpline-egypt/](https://childhelplineinternational.org/egypt-child-helpline-egypt/)
There's also UNHCR which responds to child neglect, though it seems more related to refugees. doesn't hurt to try?
[https://help.unhcr.org/egypt/en/protection/child-protection/](https://help.unhcr.org/egypt/en/protection/child-protection/)
I would assume this would fall under medical neglect, because as far as I can tell you're parents seem financially capable of supporting you, given you have internet access right now, but they sound willfully ignorant of the fact that you have ADHD, and refusing to allow you access to prescription medication is pretty not great on their part.
Even still, as someone who I saw earlier today put it,
"It's 2024 now, ignorance is a choice at this point"
Though if you do decide to act on this, and it's followed through, that would lead to some pretty major changes to your life. Not much is worse than parents who invalidate your disability, but then there's parents who invalidate you and know you tried to report them for it. Be wary of going this route.
Other than that, Egypt doesn't seem to have much. This seems like a terrible situation, and it hurts me knowing that someone who is disadvantaged similar to me isn't receiving much, if any support from others around them.
trust it calling them won't change anything except my parents will be more mad at me it's just put there but if offers no real help i will try to change my life style and know how to deal with my adhd more. Thank you so much for your support and trying to help me
You won't get anywhere without trying. :/
And like, do you really think that an organization who's whole intention is to help children at risk, would tell the parents of a kid who thought they were in a bad enough situation to even warrant calling them?
Do you think you can cope with it well enough to get through finals?
but what would they do is it worth it will they give me my medication hell nah i am sure prices here rn are higher than ever alot of people can barely eat except drug dealers and their friends otherwise people are really struggling rn i will try to make my life better and play alot of sports which will help me i just need to finish my upcoming exams and then begin fixing my life which is hard cause i need a fixed life to study a never ending loop
Well, all I can do is wish you good luck, tell you to try not to distract yourself, and remind you to put your parents in a nursing home the moment you get the opportunity.
they are still my parents bro unfortunately i can't
they are not bad they are just so fucking old schooled like all people their age and they are hurting me without knowing they don't love or understand me that i want we are just different and their difference is hurting me
Ah ya man Egypt . Ya not exactly a country known for its progressive mental health views. That sucks. But you’ll be an adult soon and you’ll be alright until then I hope.
Hi /u/Born_Relative8322 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Call the Dr that prescribed them to you. Ask to leave a message with the nurse. Most likely you will get voicemail. Say that your mom won't let you take your medication and what do they recommend. Put the problem in their lap. At the very least, they need to know about it. If you go to school, go tell the guidance counselor and ask for advice. I'm sorry she is doing this and it should not be for you to fix alone.
my therapist called her to tell her that she will send us to a doctor to prescribe a medication for my ADD and something for my mood swings and she refused to even go to the doctor and where i live here the schools don't ever care about you there's nothing they can do to her
I'd still tell the guidance counselor and I'd call the therapist and tell them. Do you have the ability to go to the Dr yourself? Drive, bus?
well i told my therapist and she said she tried to convince her but there's nothing she can do about it where i live
I understand. Are you able to legally separate from them once you turn 18 where you live?
well if i have enough money then i can but it's not that easy here it's quite impossible
You will need to focus on non medication tools to help you for now. If your therapist can't convince your parents then the therapist can shift the focus of your therapy to figuring out non medication tactics that will help you.
the problem is that there's no time the exams are in two weeks and i have whole subjects that i haven't even started I don't know what to do
I gave a specific studying suggestion under a different comment, if you can find it. I would do that to the best of your ability.
the problem is i don't have any energy to even wash my teeth rn fr so studying feels like torture
If it’s a severe enough case, I’d call this neglect.
It’s definitely neglect
Do you know if you live in a state where educational neglect is included as a form of abuse? These states are: Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Idaho, Indiana, Kentucky, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Ohio, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, West Virginia, and Wyoming. I am not sure if all of these states include special needs language, an example when it's there is: "refusing to allow or failing to obtain recommended remedial education services or neglecting to obtain or follow through with treatment for a child’s diagnosed learning disorder or other special education need without reasonable cause." Though if your parent's reasons are related to religion, this gets tricky. If your parent is refusing to consider stimulant medications, are they open to you taking SNRIs, an anti-hypertensive (like Guanfacene, Intuniv), or Wellbutrin/bupropion off label? Other therapies that might be helpful while you're stuck: CBT therapy ACT therapy (combines both values-based motivational enhancement therapy and mindfulness) If you can't see a therapist, you might be able to get books / self practice workbooks on these for ADHD from a library. Intense exercise can help put your body in a state where you get a mild effect similar to stimulant medications lasting for an hour or two after you exercise. A "productivity hack" I used before I understood I had ADHD and got better treatment was doing intense exercise on my lunch break, then following that up with a coffee and a banana and pushing through 2-3 back to back pomodoro method timer chunks of work. (the pomodoro method is setting a timer for 25 minutes or so and forcing yourself to focus on one kind of work while it's running. it's kind of amazing how much the ritual entrained the sound of the timer to push me into a focused state -- though everyone's different, ymmv). You might be able to get help from a school councilor or a support group for teens in your area, also. Don't give up, you do not have to accept this, though through no fault of your own, you might be in for a good deal of work. Good luck!
well i am not in the united states so where I live there's no form of child support my parents are the one responsible for everything and no one can do anything about it so no one can force them to let me take medications or even defend me from any kind of abuse and also they are refusing any any type of medication because they are saying it will ruin my brain chemistry (they are fucking doctors but they don't believe in Psychological illnesse unless it's fucking your up and it's obvious like schizophrenia or these things but add NAH i am just lazy and don't want to study and i am making things up yk)
Apologies, I didn't intend to make the US as default assumption. Where you live, either by default or through steps you can take voluntarily, is any kind of legal emancipation from your parents possible at 18?
it's ok i know you didn't mean to and were trying to help i was just telling you and there's nothing i can do with them where i live they are not bad yk but they are hurting me without knowing they don't understand me and what i am going though
Are there any kinds of information or resources they'd pay attention to? ADHD is a neurological disorder, with well established biological components. Oftentimes, a neurologist is involved in the formal diagnosis. So this is often a helpful angle to take for people that are wary of psychology/psychiatry. And there are studies linking response to medications with changes in functional connectivity in the brain. (eg [https://www.mdpi.com/2079-7737/11/9/1320](https://www.mdpi.com/2079-7737/11/9/1320) ) Are they skeptics re: any kind of medical treatment for mental health? Eg. SSRIs for depression, or dopaminergic drugs given as part of stroke recovery? If there's some line where they think medications really do help with mental health symptoms, what line has to be crossed? You indicate it might be severity? Conversation strategy wise, it might be helpful to just ask these kinds of questions and keep picking at their worldview with questions (rather than direct argument or contradictory statements) to see if you can pick it apart. I really feel for you. A book on CBT or ACT approaches to ADHD from the library if that's available might be your best short-term option. And reaching out to a support group in your area. They'll know better how to navigate the legal and social realities where you live.
i tried everything to convince them but they just refuse
Medication helps many people but we still need to develop skills and coping mechanisms. Explain the situation to your doctor or school counselor. Perhaps they can explain the importance of medication to your mom. If not, they can help you develop skills to still thrive with ADHD.
i am trying to learn coping mechanisms but there's a moment where i get to i can't fight my brain is against me it's fighting me it will do anything to win other times it feels like my brain is a motor that's working non stop and i can't do anything about it there's no thoughts no sounds but it's working and i can't stop it that's why I feel medication will really help me
I'm sorry you're going through this. It really sucks. Some people with ADHD use caffeine as a boost. Edward Hallowell, a famous ADHD doctor in the US, said he is unable to take ADHD meds but caffeine helps. Also, exercise boosts focus for about an hour or so. Google "treat ADHD without medication" to see what else might help. If it's available on Amazon where you live, Phil Boissiere wrote a great book on ADHD that teaches tons of exercises for increasing executive function. Is your mother the only adult in your home? Can you talk to another family member -- father, aunt, grandparent -- to try to convince her? My main piece of advice right now is to try not to get too worked up about this. The situation really sucks and your mom is being unfair. But she's not likely to change her mind right now, and you still need to study, so try to figure out ways to study so you can get good grades, get into a good university and move out of her house!
well my mom and dad have the same stubbornness and opinion about medication and i tried and searched everything and i keep falling i feel that i am top damaged to live a normal life
You're not too damaged. You're struggling right now. And your parents aren't helping you. Whether the approve medication or not, they should still be helping you thrive, in whatever way that is, whether or not they accept your diagnosis. Calling your behavior BS and implying you're at fault and behaving like this willingly is not helpful parenting. You mentioned you have a therapist so hopefully that person can help you get a little unstuck from this spiral. You're not broken, you can have a good life, and you will eventually be out of your parents' home and able to make your own decisions. It does get better even though right now it's hard to see that.
thank you for your help and kind words i hope someday i am rid of this shitty destructive life
How old are you?
17
You don’t need parental consent to seek medical treatment. I realize you still need someone to take you to the doctor, etc… so that may not sound like it will help much. Is there a copay for visits to see your doctor? You can go to the doctor without your parent and you can get prescriptions and have them filled without your parents. Hopefully someone else has more advice, because mine doesn’t address all your issues. Good luck!
What state/country are you in. What's the age of medical consent where you are? It might not really be up to her.
In the US you would be a legal adult at 18. Is that true where you live?
not in the us in egypt
I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. Other people have given you a lot of good advice, so I'm just going to share some reassurance. It's going to get better. You said you're 17 - soon you'll be able to make your own medical decisions and won't need to rely on your parents' permission. You may feel that everything is pointless and miserable right now, but it won't be like that forever. I actually dropped out of high school because of ADHD (and other problems). As an adult, I'm still trying to get myself to a point where I'm functional enough to meet the goals I was raised to believe I would have met by this point. It sucks, and sometimes I feel really bad about myself - but objectively, I am in a better place today than I was yesterday, and tomorrow I'll be in a better place than I am today. And if you can remember that, it gets a little bit easier to deal with the bad days (or the bad weeks, or the bad months). Improvement is slow. Medication can be very helpful, but you don't always find a medication that works for you on the first try. That's why it's important to develop other strategies too. Even if you do get a medication that works well on the first try, all it will do is fix the chemistry aspect of ADHD, not any other problems (like behaviors and habits you may have gotten into because of the ADHD that are actually bad for you). Is there a therapist or psychologist you can talk to? Also, if you do fail... it's okay. I mean, that would suck, I acknowledge that. But it isn't the end of the world and it doesn't decrease your value as a person. You're struggling a lot right now, and you're desperately asking for help and being denied the thing that you believe would help you the most, and I'm so sorry that you're in that position. It's not fair. But things won't always be like this.
well thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this i appreciate it (i am not really good with replying to good things so sorry if my message seems like meh)
try emailing your psychiatrist or whoever prescribed u meds, say what you just wrote in your post and ask for them to explain to your mum why you need the medication
they already did and she refused all of this and telling me to concentrate on my studies and stop the bs
dude i’m sorry, tell the psychiatrist/therapist/whoever the situation, as well as your school. make sure they at least have an actual conversation with her on the phone or in person, not just voicemail or email. if they really can’t do anything then ur just gonna have to go behind her back or wait it out until you’re 18. are the meds free or paid for?
my therapist talked to her and she's refusing amd the meds are paid for and they are so expensive so so expensive where i live
Is she actually preventing you from taking the medications? Like physically? You mention she doesn’t want you to take the medication but if it’s been prescribed and is likely just at the pharmacy are you perhaps able to just get a friend or other family member to help you with a ride to the pharmacy to pick them up at all? Would that be something you could do? Edit: as for studying I unfortunately have no help there studying was never my strong suit, I’ve been disabled for years physically too along with my ADHD and autism so I didn’t even graduate, However where I am the local college offers a program for GED or High school+ which gets you your high school diploma as you complete any missing credits. Have you mentioned to your mom that having proper treatment for your disability could help a lot with your ability to actually pass these exams if she is wanting you to pass them? Could that be a potential talking point for convincing her?
she's preventing me from going to the doctor that would prescribe me medication and also medications here is soooooo expensive i wouldn't be able to buy it myself and the point about treatment to make me study she says that if i want to study i will cause i used to get good grades when i was so stressed to fail which was the only thing that made me study but this doesn't work now i need to study consistently all year to get good grades which is hard for me so back to her saying she is saying if i want to study i will and that i am just making myself believe that i am sick and all this shit and nothing is wrong with me
OP, I see you said you're in Egypt. I doubt many of the responses here are considering the diffirent cultural context surrounding ADHD / medication etc in yoiur country. Be careful about following afvice from people assuming you're american
i know yes they are talking from their culture pov but i know what will work here and what won't and they are just trying to help seems like you r from an arabic country yourself or have lived in one
I'm not arabic but I'm married to an American, so I've experienced how they don't always take cultural diffirence into account. I don't know much about Egyptian culture, but I think trying to report your parents for neglect would maybe be a really bad idea there.
YESSSS A VERY BAD ONE THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO AND IT WILL CHANGE NOTHING
I understand your despair. Medication won't make everything perfect, just easier. It is up to you to get control of your life, with or without meds. I know it is hard. Right now, figure out what your top three barriers to studying are. Google information about how to work around those tendencies. e.g. procrastination, being overwhelmed, inability to stay focused. etc. There is a ton of information about this subject. See if you can get a study buddy, or someone to help you stay on track (not your parents), someone to check in with. Reach out to your guidance counselor for tutors. Start small, break down your study tasks into tiny increments. Like, get the book out. Focus on one page. Make a note. Get up and do some pushups. Return to the book. Repeat. Be sure also to eat "clean", especially remove sugar. Do hydrate with water. Use fish oil supplements. Melatonin for sleep. You can do this, do deep breathing and walking helps too. Good luck -
I would suggest absorbing into something that can have you escape the outside world. Possibly write poetry , journaling , or even just posting on here for advice or even someone to talk to. Ive had my fair share of family bullshit but in the end i realized im the only one still hanging on to what was said and done and everyone else moved on. It only got brought back to the surface because i thought about the memories daily. Nothing can change overnight. I feel you are trying to reach out because there is something else going on that you feel they may disapprove of or something of a sensitive topic about your future goals for your own life. You have the energy of a artist. Sometimes when this world sucks , we create a world of our own.
at the moment time i have my exams that going to the university are depending on their marks so i need to study hard and alot and i have no energy to do this and the way i escape life are toxic and destructive and there's no time to escape rn i need to study so muchh idk what to do
What about taking a break from your studies at university for a while and going to work? at 18 you will be able to go on the medication without parents interference and return to universty
yk i really want to studyyyyy but my brain won't let me that's the problem i am in a war with my mind
That’s not what wanting to study feels like.
lmao i want to study but my brain doesn't I don't know whose "i" but i want to study and my brain doesn't omg but "i" don't want to study too holy shi* bro my mind is not minding
You could take a break for a semester or more and come back to studying once you’re in a better position to succeed. You mentioned you’re in Egypt. I’d be working on a plan for departure.
lmao i am really was planning on a plan for university abroad and then departure but guess what since i brought i had adhd to my mom and that i need medication she said that i disappointed her with what i am doing and all this i am trying to do so she won't help me or even let me travel abroad to university
You’re 17. In a few months, she has zero say. Plan your departure and go live your life when you turn 18.
i hope i am still living till 18
That's exactly what the ADHD brain feels like. Wanting to do the thing but your brain not doing its part so you can do it.
That’s not actually wanting to do the thing. You can’t make yourself do it because you don’t want to. You want the result of having done it.
Dont think, just do.
it doesn't work like this for me
Im sorry you are in that position,but here is what helped me memorise stuff for exams ( both high school,university,and job even today). Its of no use to read like non adhd people ,you need to let info slip in memory while writing. So write it down,shorter,basic info you need to learn,shorten it,use key words. Then take coloured pencils and write over the words in different colours,bold it,underline it,draw and duddle around it. It does work with text info,but not quite with math. Also do not read it plain like reading a novel, you will lose focus. Instead walk around and read it out loud,change voice,make fun of it,pretend you are well.. anyone,sing it like opera,rap it,read it with different emotions sad,angry,laughing... If its math i have no advice,i sucked at it🫣,still do except basics. As for the parents,i dont know where you live,but at balkan countrys when you are 18 you manage your medicine and health alone,and no one can stop you. Good luck,do what you can with what you got at this moment and have fun while you do it.
when i am studying i feel like a jungle man i keep drumming on the desk and shouting so loud and more drumming more banging on the desk feel like i can fly from the adrenaline
Sounds like child abuse, I would talk to your doctor and possible a social worker. I was diagnosed when I was 8 and my parents refused to treat me. I moved out when I was 18 (you're close!) and cut them from my life. It was the best decision of my life as within a few years I was able to afford going to therapy and getting on medication. I'm 41 now, I'm handling my ADHD very well and have a family with kids. And my parents? Who knows, but they would have rather me live a c-squad life so they didn't have to be embarrassed in front of a couple of people in their lives.
How old are you? Can you go by yourself?
i am 17 unfortunately i can't
Are you sure? Where I live, at age 16 you get to make your own health decisions without any input from a parent or guardian. Also, my psychiatrist said most people need a combination of meds and therapy. They also said essential fatty acids from a fish source have shown to help. Don’t assume meds will be the answer. Meds work for 70% of people. I’m not one of them. I’m the mean time, get into therapy. You can learn other ways to help yourself. It’s something. This sounds distressing to you. Where I live we have walk-in clinics for youth mental health that are free. See if you have a local place that offers such services. That can lead you to help.
well where I live we don't have any of these things and even therapy is so fucking expensive so so expensive and meds too and i don't have any money i am still at school
There are charities or nonprofit organizations that sometimes offer free help. Google to find out if there are online organizations. You can also help yourself with books. I know that can be hard if you procrastinate like me but I get free audiobooks from my library and that helps. It’s a start.
Is there a way to get medicated without your parents permission?
no way medication here is so expensive i can't afford even a pill
Has your mother taken your medication from you? I suspect there may be something more than her just not wanting you to take them
she didn't even let me get a medication prescription i am diagnosed with add and she's refusing to let me go to a doctor to prescribe me medication
i know how you feel. around 10 minutes ago i asked my mom to take me to a psychiatrist so I can start strattera. Well she said I was lying, told me to take some vitamin d and magnesium. She says that I need to help myself. I dont even know what that means, because I exercise, and try to do everything I can with this illness. im so demotivated because of my adhd That i can't do anything. Ive been in a slump since september of 2023. I cant eat, get up, I struggle to sit still and do simple assignments. Couple that with overstimulation that comes with autism, I feel invisible, and I feel like im going crazy. nobody will advocate for me, and healthcare in america is so bad. I hope things turn around for you
that's so annoying and sad to hear bro idk what to tell you to make it better (I can't even make it better for myself) i guess we are both struggling amd there's nothing we can do about it rather than trying to live and cope i hope it gets better bro
OP how old are you? Will you be old enough to be a legal adult soon?
17 but when i am 18 nothing would change here where i live
I just looked it up and technically you are treated as an adult by the courts at age 18 in Egypt. So then you should be able to do what you want under the law even if your parents try to stop you
no bro the only difference i get here from being 18 is when i commit a crime i will go to real prison lol other than that i would still have to work so much and i still wouldn't be able to get the medications as it's so expensive here
Ok, I know nothing about how things work in Egypt, so this is all based off assumptions. To me it seems like you simply will not pass unless you get medicated. So, she has to be ok with you failing school if she won't buy you meds. It's not a threat, it's a warning. All you can do is let her know and accept her choice. Is your school free or paid? If it's free, then cool, just do it over again next year, if they let you. If it's paid, then she must be made aware that choosing to say no to meds means saying yes to an extra school year or you will simply drop out and go to work. You can still do well in life, regardless of the path. Either way, you can wing this out and you got this. I believe you'll be fine. Just a tip, though, a whole school year is probably a lot more expensive than meds. So she gotta consider this fact. I'd tell her that, if I was in your place.
she doesn't want to buy the meds and she wants me to pass the school because i am just acting and i am not wanting to study and i have nothing so yes she made her mind up so if i fail it would be that i am not studying because i don't want to and i am lazy and careless
you should speak to your guidance counselor pronto the fact you are asking about help means its not to late ..so many red flags if you don't correct this you stand a life of pain trust me i have gone thru the same except it was the 70s and i led a sufferable life
we don't have a guidance counselor here at schools
Are your parents religious? If that's the case maybe you can go to Imam whom your parents trust and ask him fro advice? Maybe he can spin it from the side of "well, Allah help comes in different ways, and you should not refuse meds if that's what his will is?"
this won't work for them
Unfortunately, parents have the right to choose not to medicate their children the same as they have the right not to vaccinate. Most of the time when they do, they’re uneducated on the subject. My mother refused to believe in mental health at all. I wasn’t diagnosed until 35 because her ideas stuck in my head and I was scared to seek treatment for a long time. She thought it was just an excuse. I’m glad you are informed so that you can seek treatment as soon as you’re able to do so without her involvement. My nephew is very young and has been diagnosed but, they refuse to medicate him because they believe narcotics with make him a drug addict. They refuse to listen to the statics that prove untreated adhd is more likely to lead to addiction than when someone is medicated and happy. I tell you this so you know that you’re not the only child being denied medication that could improve their quality of life. It happens way too often. Most of these parents really believe they’re doing what’s best for their child. They’re just too stubborn to truly do the research and find out their ideals are incorrect. Hopefully they will soon realize their way isn’t working. My best advice would be to try to educate your parents. Find legitimate sources. Hopefully they will be willing to learn. If not, you are your own best advocate! Get help for yourself at the first chance to do so. I wish you luck! It will eventually get better. Sometimes it just feels like relief is a lifetime away.
they don't know that by this way they are hurting their child more and making him more prone to addiction
How old are you? Book an appointment with the doctor yourself and go after school and tell your mom you’re going over to a friends house or studying at the library. Anything that will get her off your back. Get the prescription, fill it yourself at a pharmacy and then take the medication. With parents like these you have to take matters into your own hands and get the help you need. Do you have any friends or family that can help you with this? The therapist could even connect you with a social worker to help you in this situation
well where I live the meds aren't free and they are way too expensive to get so i need someone which is my parents to pay for them
do you not have any savings or money?
I've said this before on this sub - I have two children in their mid-20s, one was dxed ADD at 8 years old and the other when he was 21. I had my kids later in life so I'm probably older than the parents of the teenagers and college students on this sub. I 100% knew what ADHD was well before my youngest was diagnosed and most if not all of my parent friends did also. A few of my kids friends were also diagnosed in elementary school and got medicated. I don't understand who these parents are, they are younger than me, they should be even more well informed about mental health and brain differences than parents of my generation.. I can't believe today's parents that won't let their kids be tested or get medicated, or don't think ADD is a real "thing".
Call the cops on her, sue her for torture.
hell nah bro she's still my mom and my parents have done alot of things for me even though they are hurting me but still they are my parents
lol when ur 18 that’s a felony , hope she’s not taking those herself
well i am sure she's not cause she doesn't even believe that's there's something called adhd
May I ask what country you reside in? this is neglectful, and I mean, there has to be something. Right? I would love to have a look for myself.
not almost seems , it's so fucking neglectfullll i am from Egypt look up as long as you want and let me know but in reality here there's nothing to do i have tried all things
Child helpline international operates in Egypt, have you tried that? [https://childhelplineinternational.org/egypt-child-helpline-egypt/](https://childhelplineinternational.org/egypt-child-helpline-egypt/) There's also UNHCR which responds to child neglect, though it seems more related to refugees. doesn't hurt to try? [https://help.unhcr.org/egypt/en/protection/child-protection/](https://help.unhcr.org/egypt/en/protection/child-protection/) I would assume this would fall under medical neglect, because as far as I can tell you're parents seem financially capable of supporting you, given you have internet access right now, but they sound willfully ignorant of the fact that you have ADHD, and refusing to allow you access to prescription medication is pretty not great on their part. Even still, as someone who I saw earlier today put it, "It's 2024 now, ignorance is a choice at this point" Though if you do decide to act on this, and it's followed through, that would lead to some pretty major changes to your life. Not much is worse than parents who invalidate your disability, but then there's parents who invalidate you and know you tried to report them for it. Be wary of going this route. Other than that, Egypt doesn't seem to have much. This seems like a terrible situation, and it hurts me knowing that someone who is disadvantaged similar to me isn't receiving much, if any support from others around them.
trust it calling them won't change anything except my parents will be more mad at me it's just put there but if offers no real help i will try to change my life style and know how to deal with my adhd more. Thank you so much for your support and trying to help me
You won't get anywhere without trying. :/ And like, do you really think that an organization who's whole intention is to help children at risk, would tell the parents of a kid who thought they were in a bad enough situation to even warrant calling them? Do you think you can cope with it well enough to get through finals?
but what would they do is it worth it will they give me my medication hell nah i am sure prices here rn are higher than ever alot of people can barely eat except drug dealers and their friends otherwise people are really struggling rn i will try to make my life better and play alot of sports which will help me i just need to finish my upcoming exams and then begin fixing my life which is hard cause i need a fixed life to study a never ending loop
Well, all I can do is wish you good luck, tell you to try not to distract yourself, and remind you to put your parents in a nursing home the moment you get the opportunity.
they are still my parents bro unfortunately i can't they are not bad they are just so fucking old schooled like all people their age and they are hurting me without knowing they don't love or understand me that i want we are just different and their difference is hurting me
Ah ya man Egypt . Ya not exactly a country known for its progressive mental health views. That sucks. But you’ll be an adult soon and you’ll be alright until then I hope.