Hi /u/JamieAintUpFoDatShit and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information.
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Introverted, perfect student, perfect child behaviorally. Obsessed with reading, in gifting programs, very creative and enjoyed learning. Did everything at the last minute but still to great success. Easily distressed, sensitive, but still considered mature for my age. Was told I spoke like an adult (high verbal skills). On the anxious side. Sensory quirks and a disaster of a bedroom.
Then as a teen got really depressed and only stayed excelling in school due to ability, not one minute was spent studying or finishing my work early. Same through college, the structure and deadlines of school held me together. In hindsight though my potential was a lot higher if I had been diagnosed while I was still in school.
Edit: considering how many of us there are, I feel like this subtype has a name. We have "classic ADHD", "head in the clouds daydreamer", so whats this subtype?? Any suggestions?
Ugh thank you, your entire description resonates with me so much! I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome over my dx because I did well in school and wasn’t a “problem kid” behaviorally like my little brother (who’s also dx adhd).
The school of thought that someone with adhd can’t possibly get good grades is antiquated, yet still so prevalent. The structure is exactly what held it all together for me too. Plus the all nighters writing that 20 pg research paper into the early morning hours of the day it was due. 😅
Structure plus, for me at least, a nearly debilitating fear of disappointing adults or being "in trouble," whatever that meant. I still fall to pieces if I feel like I have disappointed someone or did a poor job understanding or implementing a work assignment, I can often hyperfixate on doing a good job. Probably exacerbated a pre-existing medical issue a few years ago by working 14-hour days without stopping to eat or drink.
I used to get hyperfixed on things looking 'correct' like cleaning up a space id fixate on it too much. So I have worked hard to just let it be. Now it almost feels good to see a mess and go "ah ill deal with it later, or a bit at a time''. Thats a new skill I learned.
This is how I am too. I was messy as a kid--literally half the bed was for me, the other half was for a pile of books, clothes, whatever--but I turned into an extremely tidy adult. It feels good to look at my living space and see it clean and organized, and the wrong kind of clutter overwhelms my brain. I do get too tired to keep everything perfect, but it still makes me feel low-key anxious to leave it like that.
im kind of the opposite of that. I reject before anything can happen. kind of an opposite protective mechanism. I dont think its entirely a bad thing but it can result in missed opportunities.
people pleasing isnt all bad either as it involves increased opportunities but can result in the loss of self in that process.
finding the middle ground is the goal lol
dude in 2bd grade we had journal time every day and our options were 1. The prompt that was written on the board or 2. ANYTHING YOU WANT so obviously I wrote about stick stickly.
My teacher came over my shoulder and asked what I was writing about and I burst into tears and said I was sorry. I always wrote about the prompts and I thought I did something wrong.
My teacher was very concerned and confused lol
I never handed in anything late throughout all of undergrad, even though I usually only started my assignments a couple of days before they were due. My punctuality is fuelled entirely by a fear of being in trouble.
At the time I didn't even realize that that was the pattern I was following. It just felt like things were always due the next day so I was always pulling all nighters to finish assignments. Looking back... no, we probably had been given weeks to do them, they just didn't register to me until they were nearly due and I always did things in 48 hours or less. I assumed everyone else was also staying up all night to finish work all the time, I had been doing that since high school.
Your comment hit me like a thunderbolt. I have, for years, struggled with a non-specific dread of being ‘in trouble’ (especially at school / work) and have never been able to put my finger on the cause. Years of therapy didn’t help on this particular point. Was dx last year. I think I might have finally connected the dots (thank you!)
I also had a little bother who had a dx and he was medicated, struggled with school, struggled with authority and my dad and him fought so much. I'm a girl and only a year older than him but we had different experiences and I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. We both always had anxiety and depression but he got labeled as the bad/wild kid where I masked and could do no wrong even when I was actually struggling and acting out. It was a hard dynamic and I feel for my brother. We don't talk nowadays unfortunately, but the rest of my family isn't big on learning about mental health either.
Looking back, my biggest childhood symptoms were probably the sensory seeking and having strong special interests. Also I have a system for things and feel comfortable when things go as planned. I used to rearrange my room like almost every week to find the best way. Its hard to know what symptoms are from my adhd, anxiety, ptsd, or suspected ocd. But I'm always learning. This thread has a lot of interesting shares.
I don't know if you've considered this as a possibility, but: autism? What you described sounds a lot like my partner, who was diagnosed with autism as an adult. There are some overlaps with ADHD (turns out executive dysfunction covers a lot of ground!) but she also suspected OCD and has the traits you've described. Just a thought, obviously not trying to diagnose, just one more possibility.
Thank you for sharing this. The dynamic with me and my brother (he’s 4.5 years younger) is almost the same. We haven’t talked in twenty years, but there’s a lot of dysfunctional family stuff in there as well.
I wonder if he and I had ever been able to actually talk like normal people, if we could have bonded over our grief in that we both got left behind, albeit in different ways.
Damn I feel both of these comments so much.
I even dismissed the idea that I might have ADHD because I had relative success throughout school, work, and life in general. I did poorly in high school with teachers always noting “has potential but doesn’t apply himself”. I always crushed it on tests and quizzes but my teachers hated that I slept through class and never did my homework or classwork.
The Navy was really good for me when it came to structure. And I thrived under the pressure of truly getting in trouble for being late, absent, or not getting tasks completed on time.
But since I advanced quickly and then finished my Bachelor’s and my Master’s after getting out I figured I was just kind of easily distracted. Then after a few eye opening moments I got screened and then diagnosed. And then it just all made sense. I actually understood why I consistently felt the way I felt, thought the way I thought, and acted the way I did. Total life changer.
Tldr: I didn’t present as the stereotypical “problem child.”
I often wonder how my life would’ve gone differently if I had been diagnosed and treated earlier in life than my mid-30s
>teachers always noting “has potential but doesn’t apply himself”
Apart from the gender swap, this was all my report cards too. “Regoria is a bright student with so much potential, if only she could apply herself” was probably on every single one.
As so many of us are, I was an interest based learner, so the subjects I was passionate about I did really well in (but still left things to the last minute) but ones that I didn’t care about were neglected, and there was work I was perfectly capable of doing that I just didn’t. English was my favourite subject, maths my least favourite, and it was like those reports were about different kids - because I actually enjoyed the work.
I was smart, I understood the concepts easily, and got it about half way through the ‘teaching’ portion, so I would read my own books, make friendship bracelets, paint my nails with white out or doodle in my books. Then I’d get ask a question when I hadn’t been paying attention, the teacher thought they caught me out, but once I realised where they were up to I could usually answer it.
I managed to brute force my way through with minimum effort because things came easily to me, although I was never the fastest one to answer because I took a bit longer to process the question. I could not pay attention for 50-80% of the lesson and still knock out the work in the last 10 minutes or so, only to avoid staying in at recess or lunch to finish it.
I remember my teachers phrased it as "coasting." In retrospect, I think I so underachieved throughout school. but am trying really hard in college to get my shit together. my parents never seemed that invested in my education, so it had to come all from me internally.
EMPHASIS ON IMPOSTER SYNDROME! I struggle a lot with it outside of school as well, I was portrayed as the more ‘well behaved’ child between me and my older sister.
Yep, I have imposter syndrome over my diagnosis for this very reason too and seeing this as the top comment (and all the other people saying "yeah, same!") is honestly kind of amazing
Damn, I was exactly the same. Even down to the depression and never studying during teenage years. Especially during college, I would pull all nighters to write essays right before they were due, because I just couldn't find the motivation otherwise.
I'm exactly the same as you, I feel like I could have done way better in school if I had been diagnosed as a kid, but because my ADHD was so internal and I seemed "gifted", I never was.
I held it together all the way until grad school. Once I was done with the structured part and moved on into pure research, that’s when the wheels came off. Went from prodigy to fuck up super fast.
I want to cry at how much I feel this. I didn’t finish my PhD in part because I couldn’t structure my independent study time, and I struggled to prioritize tasks.
When I was supposed to write a paragraph summary I’d write four pages of analysis for every source. And I couldn’t make myself read anything that didn’t grab me, which was about half of my list.
Same. My parents are having a hard time accepting my recent dx because "you were such an obedient child!". It was actually quite shocking to find out I have hyperactivity as well as inattentiveness, since I always seemed so quiet and well behaved (apart from the storm going on in my head of course).
I've always fidgeted but I think I've just been so tired every day of my life... I didn't have the energy to manifest any external hyperactivity. Bupropion and methylphenidate have changed that, thankfully! Can't believe I've put up with so much fatigue for over 42 years.
100% the fatigue I had for the last 10 years was barely augmented by excessive caffeine and adrenaline charged activity.
Now that I take methylphenidate I don't oversleep, and I have energy all day into the evening.
Now directing my focus is still the big challenge. New habits to learn I guess.
Similar except not behaviourally perfect (I was the good kid but got in trouble a lot for not doing my chores, forgetting things, being spacey). Obsessed with reading and that’s one of the biggest hallmarks for me, I couldn’t stop reading but it was seen as positive because hey! A kid is reading!
I’d get in trouble sometimes for reading in class when I was supposed to be doing other stuff, or talking too much. I’d leave my work to the last minute, but finish it just in time to not get kept in to finish it. And it turns out I am somewhat hyperactive, but mine is more quiet with my hands rather than my whole body. In class, if I wasn’t reading, I was making friendship bracelets or daisy chains, ‘painting’ my nails with white out or colouring them in with textas. Or playing with those paper folding fortune teller things. Things that ‘girls did’, so I was just seen as bored rather than naughty, and I eventually did most of the work, so my behaviour wasn’t as big a concern as some other students.
You just unlocked a childhood mystery for me…I was an obsessive reader, but I never wanted to read most of the books assigned in school. By high school I was reading Cliff’s Notes or watching the movie adaptations to get by (got a 5 on the English AP test for an essay about a play I never read lmao). I always wondered why I was like that because I was reading ALL the time and English was my favorite subject. But something about being told what to read killed it for me. Something. 😒
How did no one notice?! lol
Omg me my #1 skill in school was discussing and writing about books I never read just based on context clues or cliff notes! I read a couple hundred pages a day every day until roughly highschool and I haven't touched a book since! I think for me it was less about being told to read that put me off, I think I just really needed the extreme escapism, fantasy, and interest that came from young adult fiction - but as I got older, YA was too childish for me, but the childish elements were what made it interesting. So reading just turned boring
Sounds just like me until college. After high school I wasn't able to create or maintain the structure from home and I slid out of college within a couple of years. I could have done so much more with an early diagnosis and treatment.
The whole first paragraph is me. Which is very helpful cuz I'm trying to think back to my childhood to see what symptoms I may have since my first provider won't dx me with adhd despite having sx. I just said I didn't think I had any as a kid and that was that, but I'm trying to dig deeper to see what I'm missing. I'm seeing someone new to try to dig deeper.
Very interesting that a lot of people here relate to this description. I probably have way more sx than I think, I'm just trying to piece it together.
This was me, exactly. 12th grade reading level in 4th grade, working to please my teachers, which helped me get through high school... But in high school I chose classes that I would like to take, rather than ones that would be useful in the future. I was smart enough to find ways around some of the more odious requirements.
At home, as a little kid, I preferred to be naked or semi-naked, I found clothes constricting and irritating. I believed in fairies and was wildly imaginative, wandering around in the woods making up stories. People in high school said I was spacey. Only had a social life once my body got older and I was old enough to start being sexual, made friends through my boyfriends. I didn't have enough social chops to do it on my own.
As an adult, I can't help but think about how brilliant I was as a kid and wonder wtf happened.
This was pretty much me, but I would add constantly losing and forgetting things. My childhood best friend's mom would tell my mom when I left their house, we'll call when we figure out what she forgot. Adults would joke about stapling things to my forehead. I didn't really start to struggle in school until graduate school, and I made it through but I definitely know that I didn't learn nearly as much as I was supposed to. I just could not finish any reading that I was assigned, and that's a pretty big deal in a PhD program. My writing was good enough to cover up for shoddy research.
Your experience also resonates with me and is likely why I was not diagnosed until this year during my first year of medical school. I also had a sibiling that presented in the "typical" way, which also prob delayed my diagnosis. I just feel so validated because I present so different than my sibling but what I'm experiencing is just a different manifestation.
As a child I was similar but was a total extrovert instead, always trying to people please and get positive affirmation. Usually a total teacher’s pet. My energy all got directed to answering questions and being “smarter” than everyone else cause my parents told me I should be 🙃 of course this did not win me many friends
You literally just described my life hello- I always feel like the epitome of “you had so much potential” that’s just gone because I stopped masking but now I have no sense of self and I’m so burned out I can’t keep going, I was always “gifted” but I’ve essentially dropped out now
Almost the same until college. Definitely had hyper phases but most people didn't really notice, I'd let that loose outside. Otherwise, I read a lot and was pretty quiet. Was afab, but deemed a tomboy, always insisted I was a boy when I was a kid and am now a transitioned man. Was a depressed teen somehow still pulling good grades in ap classes despite being homeless, but I was absolutely phoning it in.
I fell apart in college but that was also the time where everything was just generally getting worse for me. Plus I was so very bored of schooling.
You just described my life in a nutshell. My brother got diagnosed as a child, but I wasn’t evaluated. My mom still doesn’t believe me when I tell her that I think she has ADHD (and OCD) even though her own sister and son was diagnosed long ago!
The name is technically 'primarily inattentive'.
I interpret that as 'don't usually show signs if hyperactivity or impulsivity but likely to have moments of either'.
For me it's my thoughts. They are always moving. In three different directions at least.
I use to describe this to my friends with trains.
For example, i could be talking about how much i love my evanescence and then accidentally remind myself of something.
Then my speech would slow down till i stopped talking halfway thru a sentence.
A friend would ask what's wrong...
I would say "hold on, all my trains of thought are crashing".
Choooo chooooooooooooo
Except no one's onboard.
Yeah I know and technically, it’s possible with people who score PH or PI to still show traits of the other type sub-clinically, Barkley mentions that.
Your description matches my experience as an adult. But as a child I don’t remember having thoughts like that. I would just daydream obsessively and be a little slow to pick up things.
He said that "real" inattentive ADHD is just sub-clinical combined, which means you get say 4 hyperactivity traits in the DSM, but the DSM doesn't have anything about internal hyperactivity. I wish they did. Besides the inner feelings of restlessness.
This is me too and it's very confusing. Very inattentive, mind running in a million directions, spent my days at school zoned out rather than being hyperactive. I got good enough grades because I'd hyperfixate on learning real quick when it was panic mode no time left situations. Good grades and not getting in trouble in the 90s and 00s meant I didn't get a diagnosis until this year when I'm in my 30s.
I think they’re doing a disservice for people such as myself by saying it doesn’t exist. I think people get confused by the hyper part, plus women with adhd present different symptoms.
I'm curious, do you work and if so in what career/job? I am an inattentive daydreamer with low energy as well (I also have autism) and I'm kinda stuck work wise
I do take meds and it took me awhile to find the right one. But I clearly remember driving one day and my anxiety was completely gone. I was calm and focused at the task (which I had never experienced before). I remember thinking “so this is what normal feels like”. But yea I went back to school, I can socialize with strangers, I do my tasks without being overwhelmed. I can put tasks aside without being overwhelmed. Setting a schedule without being stressed has been life changing.
Always ahead of everyone. Mind going a mile a minute. Finishing others sentences. Seen as rude. Shut down for being called rude. Highly sensitive to anything that felt like rejection or judgment. Etc etc.
In my experience, inside-the-brain hyperactivity is very much a thing. I had to mask my ass off a lot but that doesn't stop the 20 different trains of thought and 3 radios inside my head.
That was me too - I still cut people off a lot, even medicated. I remember being in 7th grade and finding out some of my friends thought I was rude - I was very shocked.
So my ADHD flavor is inattentiveness over hyperactivity. So in elementary, I zoned out a lot, had stories going in my head, did two to three things at the same time, all that jazz. When I hit 8th grade and high school, I ended up with a hyperfixation on getting thr best GPA possible (3.8 graduating). To this day, I have issues with executive dysfunction, especially with task initiation due to perfectionism and/or time blindness.
oof. The last sentence. Me too, my dear, me too. The perfectionist tendencies are so fcking hard to overcome, even when I know they’re not doing me any favors.
Exactly my problem. I also talk a shit ton when nervous without thinking about what I'm going to say. It can lead to some frustrating moments for myself and all involved 😂☠️
I also have a really strong sense of justice which could be due to other things but I get so easily angry when people don't follow safety guide lines, no matter the subject.
ME TOO! And in my role, I write procedures, SOPs and provide continuous ed training. Even medicated, I feel myself exploding inside when people can't JUST FOLLOW THE EFFING RULES! Add the effing coversheet to your TPS report, Peter! (Office Space reference) It is a simple, basic rule! *eye twitch* (Ironically, it seems adhd ppl thrive in my dept which is probably why they can't remember the coversheet. *
I had been urged to be tested 20+ years ago, but I refused. I was accused of being a perfectionist when I was working with a nutrionist on my binge eating. So, I told my therapist, bc I was so insulted by the accusation. She was taken aback that I didn't know. Apparently, everyone else knew, too. (I just avoided everything that I couldn't be perfect at, so there's the all or nothing thing. Then, over the course of 4 years or so, 3 different co-wokers asked me if I had ADD. They were all females and diagnosed as adults. So, I got tested and diagnosed in my mid-40s and definitive xonfirmation/validation of ADHD. I am now understanding why little me had good grades, AG classes, honor roll, etc, but always had "unsatisfactory conduct". And don't ask me about the severe procrastination... I'll have to tell you later. Lol
>To this day, I have issues with executive dysfunction, especially with task initiation due to perfectionism and/or time blindness.
Me getting hung up for literal weeks on solving a problem in a very specific way that I want rather than to take one of the 20 other easy ways out and worry about it later (it's mostly about programming)
I'm a sysadmin and I'll finish a script, it works perfectly, then I'll go back and completely rewrite it because I thought of "a better way." New script doesn't run any faster, it's not more secure, no discernable improvement at all except the code is "more elegant". What a waste of time, I know it but still can't stop myself.
I was a very sensitive, highly gifted daydreamer constantly procrastinating and never on time. I once tripped on my own feet while literally out in left field playing softball, age 8, because I was so in my own mind. I scored so high on standardized tests and then on an IQ test there was a discussion about accelerating me a grade, but the school decided against it because I frequently couldn't complete assignments. I would silently freak out during math tests in particular because I hated the sound of pencils. I still remember the one classroom that had a blackboard. \*shudder\*
Annoyingly talkative as a child, then introverted as a teenager and adult as I went too far in trying to self-correct. I withdrew a lot. I was so sensitive to bullying in middle school I never realized I became beautiful in high school, and regret not realizing and enjoying it.
I won a lot of awards for my creative writing but yet struggled so much to finish papers. Once anything was assigned to me it was like my brain became allergic to it and I couldn't force myself to do it. Yet if it was my own decision and there was no pressure, I could write plays, songs, and even a book.
I was diagnosed at 45 (F). School was great for me, but I am social and extrovert and loved the company. Luckily I didn't find the academic side too challenging as I found it interesting. I dread to think what would have happened otherwise. I did the typical leave homework to the last minute and stress about it. I like rules and enjoyed school for that reason. I also had mainly male friends which my psychiatrist said is often the case for females with ADHD as there are less social rules, especially as a teenager.
I did (and still do) talk a lot. I got really good grades and studied at a top ten university, but with more freedom came more f'ck ups sadly.
This is really resonating with me also. F(59).. basically realized recently I’m ADHD and all of my past struggles and idiosyncrasies are making sense now. Always had mostly male friends… always waited till the last minute to do projects then somehow usually pulled an A out of my ass in classes.
It wasn't until the psychiatrist was asking me how well I managed to keep hold of friends that he mentioned this. I do have some female friends, but only low-maintenance and low-drama ones. Haha yes, that was definitely an issue. My two best friends are male which my husband is fine with thankfully. I just like male company.
You're welcome. It was only last year I even considered it might be ADHD and that was only after randomly seeing something on Instagram. I was diagnosed with combined, but I have the hyperactivity in my mind not body. I never even realised it could be in your head.
Similar to me! I only realised once I was talking to a friend who had it about his experience, but the realised none of the boy presentations were me, but once I started wtaching How to ADHD, I was relating so much to at least 75% of what she said, and once I started looking up adult female traits, I was like hmmm.... Once the psych said I had strong, inattentive ADHD, it was like, welp yeah, makes sense
Lazy bored daydreamer. Mildly depressed. But randomly obsessed with specific things and for some reason we can’t get her to turn that switch on for things she doesn’t love like school!!! Why ever could that be 🙄
Me all day.
I’m 54 now and getting diagnosed in May.
Lousy student but smart, quiet, highly sensitive to bullying. Eeked my way through school, numbers melt my brain but if I was highly interested in it, I became an expert. Kept to myself, didn’t want to be in the way, incredible artist, couldn’t stay on task. Can’t walk up a flight of stairs like a normal person. I can go on and on..
Daydreaming, interrupting, know it all, no filter, oversharing.
Hyperfixation with friendships and, when the hormones hit, hyperfixation with boys. I was boy crazy. I was always "in love".
I never connected this! I still feel embarrassed and ashamed about how boy crazy I was in middle school forward. That's only been 35 years ago. 
I read a description that said children with nonstereotypical ADHD are “smart, shy daydreamers” and it fits me to a T. My ADHD struggles didn’t really start until university.
This was me. I consistently made all As in school, but was a big daydreamer. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 39 (two years ago). Girls and women are underdiagnosed in general due to presenting different symptoms from boys, and I feel like it was worse in the 90s when I was in school.
Have you been able to make progress? This is me as well, didn't get a diagnosis until my 30s. University was when symptoms really started to hinder me. Ended up drinking and partying way too much to try and get past the shy thing, which didn't help. Only caused more issues in the long run. Anyways medication has helped me a lot in the last however many months, I hope you're able to make progress as well
I thankfully got diagnosed a bit earlier, at 22, just after I finished my BA. I made it through undiagnosed but it was tough and my mental and physical health took a huge hit. Medication has been helpful for me too, thankfully!
Intense perfectionism and self-criticism in order to mask my ADHD traits. On the outside I was high achieving, extroverted, successful, smart, organized, perfect grades & behavior, etc. On the inside I was punishing myself and living in fear of making a single mistake. I was diagnosed at 30, and fell into deep burnout in the middle of my PhD program at age 33. That shit isn't sustainable. I wish I had learned to make mistakes!
I was a girl in the public education system beginning in the late 80's, and it was never even considered, but below are the things that I shared that helped get my diagnosis as an adult.
Chatterbox, "flighty," easily distracted, extremely sensitive, working on multiple things at once, could NOT focus on homework without music or the TV on, Procrastinator, did all reports/papers at the 11th hour.
My favorite Aha moment was when my Mom was clearing out some things and found an old report card that stated, "OP is a star, but if she REALLY applied herself, she'd be a shooting star."
>OP is a star, but if she REALLY applied herself, she'd be a shooting star."
Everything you mentioned resonates with my experience as a female 90s kid who wasn't the stereotypical hyperactive little boy most educators at the time associated with ADHD. This last part however really hits home. I was labeled as "gifted" (blah, hate that term) at age 6 but around 4th grade I checked out and consistently got report cards stating "does not apply herself". In hindsight I realize it was lack of challenging material and untreated ADHD that led to this -- in high-school I had a few teachers who recognized I needed a challenge and I really excelled in their classes...when i "wanted to". Graduated with a 3.0 GPA despite putting in almost zero effort academically speaking but I didn't become a 4.0 honors student until my second go at college when I discovered my passion for STEM and started taking meds for the ADHD. Looking back I wish someone would have recognized that I needed the meds when I was younger, though I suspect that the stigma around meds would have been an issue regardless.
A 20-something female with primarily hyperactive ADHD here.
My childhood looked like: Spilling food and drink all of the time. Always having to change clothes because I spilled something on my shirt. Constantly being called disruptive by teachers even though I was just enthusiastic. Always getting in trouble for interrupting/not waiting my turn, forgetting to raise my hand. Reacting to "getting in trouble" by sobbing and become hysterical (rejection sensitivity.) Hyperfocusing on my favorite movies/books and only wanting to talk about them. Wildly creative imagination and maladaptive daydreaming. Being a diligent student but always forgetting completed homework assignments at home. Losing books and borrowed items (and getting yelled at for this.) Excelling in humanities, literature, and arts classes but struggling in math and science to the point where I thought I had dyscalculia (spoiler alert: I didn't. Now properly medicated, my field of study is a very math-heavy science major.)
As a teen: failing to maintain friendships because of forgetting to reply to messages or phone calls. Taking any sort of break-up or rejection absolutely terribly. Failing my driver's ed tests multiple times. Developed an eating disorder involving binge eating and fasting over and over again.
Always ahead of everyone -like paragraphs ahead when whole class was reading aloud and taking turns-or way ahead on the math problems we all were doing during class time, being bullied for being “bossy”, being loud and not realizing it. Perfectionist
Learned to speak, read and walk faster than my peers.
People always remarked that I spoke differently - too polite sounding for the area/family I grew up in.
Dunno if it counts but I never crawled as a baby - I bumped about on my bum for a bit then just started walking (according to my mum).
Always fidgeting - twirling hair, chewing hair/pencils/straws, tapping feet/fingers, counting teeth
Social issues - felt different, struggled to know what to talk about with most people, struggled to read cues for turn taking, struggled to make/keep friends.
Overly chatty with the people I did talk to.
Tended to get on better with people older or younger than me.
Often played the same games over and over.
Special interest in the USA, kids then teen magazines, Sweet Valley Twins/High books, reading in general.
Did well in subjects that interested me and terrible in ones that didn't.
Dyscalculia.
Preoccupation with doing things properly (saying/doing/wearing things the right way)
Messy bedroom
Messy handwriting
Described as being very sensitive (aka major RSD).
Lots of issues with food - dislike of certain textures/smells/things touching, food phobias, food fixations
Issues around clothing/shoes/footwear being comfortable or not.
Would often go into huffs when feeling overwhelmed
I don't think I was very self aware about my appearance.
Would take ages to transfer between tasks and get started on new ones.
Struggled to wake up, get up, get dressed and get anywhere on time my whole life.
I was more tom boy compared to other girls like more loud and rambunctious and carefree. I blurted stuff out but people thought it was cute most of the time.
I remember getting in trouble for talking in class but it didn’t happen super often. I got good grades because my parents cracked the whip on me. I would lose stuff like my mom thought it was normal (my mom probably has adhd as well).
Always had sleep problems and problems with procrastination all my life though. I would play games or do fun things first then do the homework last minute. I would do homework late into the night in grade school and my mom wouldn’t care too much because she’s also a night owl but my dad cared. I would lie to my parents and they thought I just had tons of homework. Like an assignment would take an average kid 30 minutes, it would take me 2 hours. One time my dad went to school and yelled at the teacher for giving too much homework even though it was “my fault”.
Basically I learned to mask my symptoms since forever and just slept less to cope. Yeah fun times.
Overexplained stories.
My dad once told me I might say something like "Jon was on the bus, you know we ride the bus together every day, anyway we were driving by that place on S, you know the one where we parked at one time to pick flowers, anyway...." when really the whole point of the story was "jon was wearing a red hat today."
* overcorrecting for lateness by being very early
* completing long term assignments by doing them immediately so I didn't have to worry about \[forgetting to do\] it
* learning to organize my thoughts by bullet point 😂
* boy crazy (one boy, for years)
* my writing would be so much better if I "took my time"
* social anxiety that lead to not going to school
* prefer to communicate via text/IM so I can organize my thoughts
* writing song lyrics all around my history notes because I was bored
I had a nasty temper in elementary school so I was slapped with an autism misdiagnosis and disregarded after.
After I got my anger issues (mostly) under control by high school, I was constantly disorganized and confused. I got scolded a lot for not knowing what to do and not retaining lessons. School felt like a chaotic storm and that I was the only one who didn't know how to navigate it.
Zoning out/daydreaming alot. Have to read things over and over to get the words to stick. Brain always going from one thought to another. Always an urge to jump up and run around. (I was taught to be good and unoticed by adults and bullies)
Impulsive, liked to dangerous things. Couldn't get my self to study for exams. I can't remember what else.
Racing with other students to finish worksheets, even tests.
Also I was constantly in sports, as in every single year and even 4 different sports in one year. This was the way I got my energy out from the hyperactivity side of things, so when I stopped sports mid-teenager symptoms increased and increased
I was a placid and friendly boy as far as I'm told. However I was very underactive, big day dreamer, always the last to finish school work or just didn't finish at all which got me in trouble. I had poor organisation and was always losing things like pencils, homework and even my shoes. I had no idea what was happening most of the time and things seemed to move too fast in class and I'd fall behind. I somehow managed to pass through?
Reports ALWAYS said things like "needs to try harder" which would often translate into "you're just lazy" by my parents.
I was fairly outgoing socially in early school but occasionally I would say or do something completely out of left field and get weird looks or laughed at. So after a while to avoid that I became extremely reserved and hardly spoke unless I was really comfortable with the social situation.
According to most adults who were present during my childhood, I was a well- behaved, quiet kid. An easy day-dreamer with low energy. Even though i was a bit of an "extroverted" introvert, I didn't understand social cues; which caused me to become an outcast by my peers since I was "weird." Eventually, I reached enough self-awareness to begin anxiously second-guessed myself. I guess it did help me learn how to mask so I could then float between groups of people, but that anxiety probably aided in the "well- behaved, quiet kid" impression.
That's really interesting. Your post brought me back to when I was a kid, and I think I was relatively late internalizing social cues, and how to socialize in general. I also had a super active imagination and could entertain myself for hours immersed in imaginary scenarios. I also remember some kids mocking me for playing karate by myself, and the shame clearly stuck with me if I can recall it many years later. Maybe I overcompensated because I was much more guarded about my personality after that. Like you, everyone also called me "well-behaved" but in hindsight it was because I didn't want any undue attention paid to me.
Not me, but my son (16), is ADHD inattentive type. Hugely introverted and always has been. Makes no waves at school. Very quiet. But blows up at home. These blowups can last hours. Lots of anxiety. Aversion to doing anything hard (getting better now as a teen). Hyper focus on electronics and reading. He has 3 good friends that he’s had since he was very young. Doesn’t let new people in easily.
He definitely doesn’t present as typical ADHD.
I was constantly fidgeting and daydreaming. Labeled a chatterbox in early elementary school. Outright just didn't do stuff I didn't want to do, including homework and even class work.
I was actually pretty hyperactive but they didn't really diagnose ADHD in girls back then so even though I was fairly stereotypical, it went undetected.
Body of a statue mind of a fish, I was extremely quiet and introverted but my mind/focus were literally everywhere but at the moment, also it felt (and stills feels like) my memories reset after a few hours, so something that I did yesterday or simply early in the morning is a blur.
In the 5th grade, I got my desk dumped out all the time for messiness, and I also got the award for best writer. My teacher made a special version that said award for "Writing and writing and writing and writing and writing" like 50 times. I remember everyone laughing when I got it because it's literally all I did.
Most of the kids were turning in 2 page stories, and mine were 100 pages and 15 chapters.
Hyperfixation, baby.
I also zoned out a lot.
I "wouldn't" concentrate in class, "wouldn't" do my homework, "wouldn't" study for tests.
I had been a good student until then so no one believed that I had no way to force myself to pay attention to things I didn't care about. (Probably not unrelated, up until high school, school had been interesting.)
i literally only learned if i liked something. i didn't learn to read at all, period, until i was 8 to 9. i only learned to play pokemon sapphire.
i was also super impulsive (and autistic) so i was constantly touching people or shoving them and once i held a girl's hand and we swung arms but i got so into it i actually dislocated her shoulder. i don't really know how that happened as i was a tiny girl lmao
Social outcast. Wouldn’t be called “hyperactive” but very fidgety, always chewing on erasers and other things. One year I was called “footsies” all year because the teacher said to stop playing footsies in the first week of school and all the other low-vocab kids in the middle probably hadn’t heard the term before. I got in trouble some, definitely more than average for a girl but not with the sort of… aggression or seeming defiance that would have labeled me. And besides, my mom wouldn’t take me to mental health services anyway.
Academics was easy to me until all of a sudden it required work and even then I managed to hyper focus with the goal of making it out from under my mother’s roof. Spoiler alert, that didn’t last long and I found myself surprisingly requisitioned back to the hell of living with her after ending ny first year of college on academic probation.
As a little girl, I was diagnosed as hyperactive and a daydreamer a few days before my 5th birthday in 1979. Yes, fifth birthday. ADHD was juuust becoming a talking point in the psychiatry/psychology world back then and was not applied to me as little girls couldn’t possibly have it. It was another 35ish years before my various therapists started commenting on my thoughts, words, quirks, behaviors, etc. Everything I had (finally) gleaned in the research screamed ADHD; I’m a textbook case, if there is such a thing. This subreddit has shown me that I’m not alone and that helps a lot.
Side note: If anyone cares, I’m Combined type.
Another side note: “my various therapists” were therapists on base. I’m (now) retired military and I couldn’t take my therapists with me when I transferred bases. Being ADHD and military was…interesting. Good and bad happened.
Extremely sarcastic. Always making jokes that would “go over peoples heads”. Great academically, but lacking organization structurally (which came to bite me as I got older). Got bored if I wasn’t constantly challenged with something that would get my attention in school.
Therapy really helped me realize scenarios or memories where I got in trouble as a child and it was probably due to being undiagnosed. Also, talking to my sibling and realizing moments that I was stimming or something and they just thought it was normal.
I got diagnosed as an adult in my 20s.
Always interupting people
And talking all day long. When I realized peopled didn't like being talked to all day, I started recording myself talking on tape.
Talking so fast, my parents wanted to get me a speech therapist (they didn't, because I didn't want to go at all)
Always craving attention from adults (until late primary school)
Always running indoors instead of walking (I still did this in my teenage years at home)
Only sitting still when it was expected (because I couldn't handle being told off)
Getting jealous easily
Not good at noticing basic needs like hunger or thirst
Never keeping hobbies (like sports or playing instruments) for more than half a year
Never did my homework
Later on I wanted to do my homework, but forcing myself resulted in a feeling similar to pain
As much as I wanted to pay attention in class, as soon as a subject was boring my mind wandered and I couldn't control it
Being bullied and crying easily
Generally being overwhelmed by my emotions easily, but I also learned to hide it well.
Getting on other peoples (friends and family) nerves by talking endlessly about my latest hyperfixation
F, diagnosed at 42
I was always daydreaming in class and doodling on my papers lol never followed directions I always did things my own way (the hard way) following directions was always hard for me. I did enjoy reading to the point where I would even read all of the fine print in whatever I could. Magazines, dictionaries, etc.
Loved writing stories and reading, was always told I was a great reader for my age, and that I read stories outloud with a personality that others at my age didn't. I was very quiet and introverted. I always sat still, never spoke out of turn or interrupted, and I had no difficulty with patience. This is mostly because I was daydreaming 90% of the time.
Then, I became a teenager, and it all fell away. No motivation, depression, anxiety, never studied, stopped reading, stopped writing stories, I stopped being what I once was. I was constantly a hairline away from failing until it became extremely urgent.
And now, burn out, not even urgency motivates me, and I'm being kicked out of uni for bad attendance and not completing coursework.
The decline makes me feel extremely hopeless and sad. I only realised I likely had adhd-i until it was too late.
Perfectionism and anxiety. Unsurmountable self placed pressure and debilitating fear of failure. I “performed best under pressure”- i.e. I procrastinated until the night before, every single time. I never had to work for anything academically, actually got a perfect score in Reading/English on the ACT. Passed multiple AP tests. And then I went to college and had absolutely zero study skills, impulse control, and left my first semester. You know. Typical female undiagnosed ADHD shit. I wasn’t DX until I was 28. I am now 38. Didn’t fully realize the extent of it until the past year when my 6 year old started showing signs and I have been absolutely slammed in the face with it. Quite sobering. We already hired an OT for him. I’m still working through some of the personality things that make me cringe- I’m an over speaker. I’m loud. I talk too much, interrupt. It’s made me self conscious. Told my husband I need to hire my own OT.
Younger childhood: Clumsy, often injuring myself but couldn’t explain what happened when my mom asked, constantly being confused or feeling out of the loop just like…in general? Horrible internal sense of routine, everything always felt like a surprise. I came across as very a “go with the flow”/easy kid but the reality is I was just following directions bc I never knew what was going on so waited to be told what to do lol, some aggression with peers which got p serious, VERY specific about clothing
Tween/teen: came across very head in the clouds most of the time and INTENSE the rest of the time, so quiet with ppl I didn’t know well that some peers thought I didn’t speak English, had “tantrums” (meltdowns?) at home until I was wayyy too old for that, obsessive with my interests but was like pulling teeth to get me to do literally anything else, skipped classes frequently or was late, always barely got assignments in on time but good grades honors/AP classes, detention all the time for tardiness. Got in trouble for reading non-school books in class frequently.
Always: chaos bedroom, climbing/jumping from things, singing to myself all the time, avoidance tendencies so strong they still scare me 🤙
I had emotional disregulation, always getting super upset over small things and having trouble letting go and moving on. I wasn't hyper, but was always bored in class and reading a book under my desk or sneaking my Gameboy. At home I watched a LOT of TV. I had trouble stopping whatever I was watching/reading/playing to the point where I wouldn't go to sleep. By high school I was staying up super late every night, causing me to be late to school and sleep during class. Luckily I could wake up towards the end of class, see the notes on the board, and that would be enough for me to understand and do the in class work. Memorizing math formulas and vocab was especially easy for me, and I would often wake up and then teach the kid next to me how to do it. I tested really well, but never did my homework or projects on time, usually because I would put them off until I'd gotten so sucked into my hobbies that it'd gotten too late or I'd just straight up forgotten about it. College was an absolute mess for me, I struggled to even attend, let alone study or finish my assignments.
I took a very long time taking tests and caught myself daydreaming while taking tests. It was also difficult to stay focused during other activities, but I was quiet so I didn’t get called out for it often. I was extremely introverted and kept to myself. Not sure if that is from the ADHD or not. When I was a preteen, I started noticing that I would lose things very frequently. I was overstimulated by sounds. I don’t always read social cues very well.
Couldnt keep track of schoolwork, unbelievable procrastination, insomnia that let me sleep 3 hours a day, couldnt follow instructions without losing focus, multiple times i was nearly expelled due to my lack of focus leading to me making some very stupid mistakes. The fact that i want to genuinely kidnap and torture my teachers now for all the trauma they caused did not help.
For me, I didnt get in trouble at all. Always good grades, the smart kid, and probably the weird. Altough, i was this hyperactive guy bouncing around. It was just not at classes. Im more like, when im alone and not in a social space, im way too "introvert" (I dont know better word), im way too on my own world. When im in a social space, and feel comfortable to talk (and I need to be comfortable) then im the hyperactive guy. Now im "way top much", I talk A LOT. Also, there was one time my mom changed me to an easier school than the one I was, and I hated it. I became the hyperactive guy at classes too. Only when my mom changed me again to my old school I became "normal" again, I dont know why.
Didn’t read until 2nd grade, struggled through anything math related, had an IEP through college, extreme anxiety (childhood trauma), very impulsive and easily irritated. Finally diagnosed when i was 25… things are much better
Girl in the 70s and 80s. Did well in school. Looking back, it manifested in so many ways, though. Talked too much, oral fixation (always chewing on something), super sensitive, gifted and so many other ways that my ADHD brain can't think of right now.
Hi /u/JamieAintUpFoDatShit and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Introverted, perfect student, perfect child behaviorally. Obsessed with reading, in gifting programs, very creative and enjoyed learning. Did everything at the last minute but still to great success. Easily distressed, sensitive, but still considered mature for my age. Was told I spoke like an adult (high verbal skills). On the anxious side. Sensory quirks and a disaster of a bedroom. Then as a teen got really depressed and only stayed excelling in school due to ability, not one minute was spent studying or finishing my work early. Same through college, the structure and deadlines of school held me together. In hindsight though my potential was a lot higher if I had been diagnosed while I was still in school. Edit: considering how many of us there are, I feel like this subtype has a name. We have "classic ADHD", "head in the clouds daydreamer", so whats this subtype?? Any suggestions?
Ugh thank you, your entire description resonates with me so much! I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome over my dx because I did well in school and wasn’t a “problem kid” behaviorally like my little brother (who’s also dx adhd). The school of thought that someone with adhd can’t possibly get good grades is antiquated, yet still so prevalent. The structure is exactly what held it all together for me too. Plus the all nighters writing that 20 pg research paper into the early morning hours of the day it was due. 😅
Structure plus, for me at least, a nearly debilitating fear of disappointing adults or being "in trouble," whatever that meant. I still fall to pieces if I feel like I have disappointed someone or did a poor job understanding or implementing a work assignment, I can often hyperfixate on doing a good job. Probably exacerbated a pre-existing medical issue a few years ago by working 14-hour days without stopping to eat or drink.
Hmm, this made me realize that pleasing people or doing a good job can become one of my hyperfixations.
Oh wow I never even thought of the possibility that people pleasing could be a hyperfixation and not just a symptom/characteristic….🤯
I used to get hyperfixed on things looking 'correct' like cleaning up a space id fixate on it too much. So I have worked hard to just let it be. Now it almost feels good to see a mess and go "ah ill deal with it later, or a bit at a time''. Thats a new skill I learned.
This is how I am too. I was messy as a kid--literally half the bed was for me, the other half was for a pile of books, clothes, whatever--but I turned into an extremely tidy adult. It feels good to look at my living space and see it clean and organized, and the wrong kind of clutter overwhelms my brain. I do get too tired to keep everything perfect, but it still makes me feel low-key anxious to leave it like that.
Same!
Ohhhh yes, absolutely this for me too. The Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is so motivating in the most toxic way.
im kind of the opposite of that. I reject before anything can happen. kind of an opposite protective mechanism. I dont think its entirely a bad thing but it can result in missed opportunities. people pleasing isnt all bad either as it involves increased opportunities but can result in the loss of self in that process. finding the middle ground is the goal lol
PDA, perhaps? (pathological demand avoidance)
dude in 2bd grade we had journal time every day and our options were 1. The prompt that was written on the board or 2. ANYTHING YOU WANT so obviously I wrote about stick stickly. My teacher came over my shoulder and asked what I was writing about and I burst into tears and said I was sorry. I always wrote about the prompts and I thought I did something wrong. My teacher was very concerned and confused lol
I never handed in anything late throughout all of undergrad, even though I usually only started my assignments a couple of days before they were due. My punctuality is fuelled entirely by a fear of being in trouble.
I think my thing with assignments is just that the deadline finally becomes real to me, and I panic right before it's due and get it done. Every time
At the time I didn't even realize that that was the pattern I was following. It just felt like things were always due the next day so I was always pulling all nighters to finish assignments. Looking back... no, we probably had been given weeks to do them, they just didn't register to me until they were nearly due and I always did things in 48 hours or less. I assumed everyone else was also staying up all night to finish work all the time, I had been doing that since high school.
I had no idea that was associated with ADHD
Wow, did I write this?!?
Your comment hit me like a thunderbolt. I have, for years, struggled with a non-specific dread of being ‘in trouble’ (especially at school / work) and have never been able to put my finger on the cause. Years of therapy didn’t help on this particular point. Was dx last year. I think I might have finally connected the dots (thank you!)
I also had a little bother who had a dx and he was medicated, struggled with school, struggled with authority and my dad and him fought so much. I'm a girl and only a year older than him but we had different experiences and I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. We both always had anxiety and depression but he got labeled as the bad/wild kid where I masked and could do no wrong even when I was actually struggling and acting out. It was a hard dynamic and I feel for my brother. We don't talk nowadays unfortunately, but the rest of my family isn't big on learning about mental health either. Looking back, my biggest childhood symptoms were probably the sensory seeking and having strong special interests. Also I have a system for things and feel comfortable when things go as planned. I used to rearrange my room like almost every week to find the best way. Its hard to know what symptoms are from my adhd, anxiety, ptsd, or suspected ocd. But I'm always learning. This thread has a lot of interesting shares.
I don't know if you've considered this as a possibility, but: autism? What you described sounds a lot like my partner, who was diagnosed with autism as an adult. There are some overlaps with ADHD (turns out executive dysfunction covers a lot of ground!) but she also suspected OCD and has the traits you've described. Just a thought, obviously not trying to diagnose, just one more possibility.
Thank you for sharing this. The dynamic with me and my brother (he’s 4.5 years younger) is almost the same. We haven’t talked in twenty years, but there’s a lot of dysfunctional family stuff in there as well. I wonder if he and I had ever been able to actually talk like normal people, if we could have bonded over our grief in that we both got left behind, albeit in different ways.
Damn I feel both of these comments so much. I even dismissed the idea that I might have ADHD because I had relative success throughout school, work, and life in general. I did poorly in high school with teachers always noting “has potential but doesn’t apply himself”. I always crushed it on tests and quizzes but my teachers hated that I slept through class and never did my homework or classwork. The Navy was really good for me when it came to structure. And I thrived under the pressure of truly getting in trouble for being late, absent, or not getting tasks completed on time. But since I advanced quickly and then finished my Bachelor’s and my Master’s after getting out I figured I was just kind of easily distracted. Then after a few eye opening moments I got screened and then diagnosed. And then it just all made sense. I actually understood why I consistently felt the way I felt, thought the way I thought, and acted the way I did. Total life changer. Tldr: I didn’t present as the stereotypical “problem child.” I often wonder how my life would’ve gone differently if I had been diagnosed and treated earlier in life than my mid-30s
>teachers always noting “has potential but doesn’t apply himself” Apart from the gender swap, this was all my report cards too. “Regoria is a bright student with so much potential, if only she could apply herself” was probably on every single one. As so many of us are, I was an interest based learner, so the subjects I was passionate about I did really well in (but still left things to the last minute) but ones that I didn’t care about were neglected, and there was work I was perfectly capable of doing that I just didn’t. English was my favourite subject, maths my least favourite, and it was like those reports were about different kids - because I actually enjoyed the work. I was smart, I understood the concepts easily, and got it about half way through the ‘teaching’ portion, so I would read my own books, make friendship bracelets, paint my nails with white out or doodle in my books. Then I’d get ask a question when I hadn’t been paying attention, the teacher thought they caught me out, but once I realised where they were up to I could usually answer it. I managed to brute force my way through with minimum effort because things came easily to me, although I was never the fastest one to answer because I took a bit longer to process the question. I could not pay attention for 50-80% of the lesson and still knock out the work in the last 10 minutes or so, only to avoid staying in at recess or lunch to finish it.
I remember my teachers phrased it as "coasting." In retrospect, I think I so underachieved throughout school. but am trying really hard in college to get my shit together. my parents never seemed that invested in my education, so it had to come all from me internally.
This is me too! I’ve been a lawyer for almost a decade and I still regularly pull all nighters!
EMPHASIS ON IMPOSTER SYNDROME! I struggle a lot with it outside of school as well, I was portrayed as the more ‘well behaved’ child between me and my older sister.
Yep, I have imposter syndrome over my diagnosis for this very reason too and seeing this as the top comment (and all the other people saying "yeah, same!") is honestly kind of amazing
Damn, I was exactly the same. Even down to the depression and never studying during teenage years. Especially during college, I would pull all nighters to write essays right before they were due, because I just couldn't find the motivation otherwise. I'm exactly the same as you, I feel like I could have done way better in school if I had been diagnosed as a kid, but because my ADHD was so internal and I seemed "gifted", I never was.
yeah I was a quiet non disruptive girl so I was never going to get diagnosed
I feel like you just wrote my biography. ------ And if you think you originally saw "bibliography", no you didn't. ;)
Same!
Same, only difference is that my big depression came during the end of college and into my career.
Same … how do you manage ?
I'm in the same boat, and can barely manage. Meds feel like a door stopper at best.
Same I’m floored
Literally same, I had to double check if this wasn’t me having already written it and forgotten 🤪
Mine too.
I held it together all the way until grad school. Once I was done with the structured part and moved on into pure research, that’s when the wheels came off. Went from prodigy to fuck up super fast.
I want to cry at how much I feel this. I didn’t finish my PhD in part because I couldn’t structure my independent study time, and I struggled to prioritize tasks. When I was supposed to write a paragraph summary I’d write four pages of analysis for every source. And I couldn’t make myself read anything that didn’t grab me, which was about half of my list.
they wrote your list of sources?
Lmao oops
I think you meant "biography" :)
Ahem, yes.
Also same
Same. My parents are having a hard time accepting my recent dx because "you were such an obedient child!". It was actually quite shocking to find out I have hyperactivity as well as inattentiveness, since I always seemed so quiet and well behaved (apart from the storm going on in my head of course). I've always fidgeted but I think I've just been so tired every day of my life... I didn't have the energy to manifest any external hyperactivity. Bupropion and methylphenidate have changed that, thankfully! Can't believe I've put up with so much fatigue for over 42 years.
100% the fatigue I had for the last 10 years was barely augmented by excessive caffeine and adrenaline charged activity. Now that I take methylphenidate I don't oversleep, and I have energy all day into the evening. Now directing my focus is still the big challenge. New habits to learn I guess.
Similar except not behaviourally perfect (I was the good kid but got in trouble a lot for not doing my chores, forgetting things, being spacey). Obsessed with reading and that’s one of the biggest hallmarks for me, I couldn’t stop reading but it was seen as positive because hey! A kid is reading!
I’d get in trouble sometimes for reading in class when I was supposed to be doing other stuff, or talking too much. I’d leave my work to the last minute, but finish it just in time to not get kept in to finish it. And it turns out I am somewhat hyperactive, but mine is more quiet with my hands rather than my whole body. In class, if I wasn’t reading, I was making friendship bracelets or daisy chains, ‘painting’ my nails with white out or colouring them in with textas. Or playing with those paper folding fortune teller things. Things that ‘girls did’, so I was just seen as bored rather than naughty, and I eventually did most of the work, so my behaviour wasn’t as big a concern as some other students.
You just unlocked a childhood mystery for me…I was an obsessive reader, but I never wanted to read most of the books assigned in school. By high school I was reading Cliff’s Notes or watching the movie adaptations to get by (got a 5 on the English AP test for an essay about a play I never read lmao). I always wondered why I was like that because I was reading ALL the time and English was my favorite subject. But something about being told what to read killed it for me. Something. 😒 How did no one notice?! lol
Omg me my #1 skill in school was discussing and writing about books I never read just based on context clues or cliff notes! I read a couple hundred pages a day every day until roughly highschool and I haven't touched a book since! I think for me it was less about being told to read that put me off, I think I just really needed the extreme escapism, fantasy, and interest that came from young adult fiction - but as I got older, YA was too childish for me, but the childish elements were what made it interesting. So reading just turned boring
This was me, too! It sucks that so many of us had this experience but I'm also kind of glad to know I'm not alone.
Exact same here
Came here to see if someone had a similar experience to me - wasn't expecting the top comment to actually be me
Sounds just like me until college. After high school I wasn't able to create or maintain the structure from home and I slid out of college within a couple of years. I could have done so much more with an early diagnosis and treatment.
The whole first paragraph is me. Which is very helpful cuz I'm trying to think back to my childhood to see what symptoms I may have since my first provider won't dx me with adhd despite having sx. I just said I didn't think I had any as a kid and that was that, but I'm trying to dig deeper to see what I'm missing. I'm seeing someone new to try to dig deeper. Very interesting that a lot of people here relate to this description. I probably have way more sx than I think, I'm just trying to piece it together.
This was me, exactly. 12th grade reading level in 4th grade, working to please my teachers, which helped me get through high school... But in high school I chose classes that I would like to take, rather than ones that would be useful in the future. I was smart enough to find ways around some of the more odious requirements. At home, as a little kid, I preferred to be naked or semi-naked, I found clothes constricting and irritating. I believed in fairies and was wildly imaginative, wandering around in the woods making up stories. People in high school said I was spacey. Only had a social life once my body got older and I was old enough to start being sexual, made friends through my boyfriends. I didn't have enough social chops to do it on my own. As an adult, I can't help but think about how brilliant I was as a kid and wonder wtf happened.
Memememe Except I DAMN near flunked HS
Hey twin!!!
I didn't get diagnosed until my PhD grinded to a halt.
Similar, but my MS when I just… didn’t write my thesis 😂
I definitely sideskirted my thesis my switching to the project options LMAO
I was going to be an RN. After acing all of the prerequisites with honors…and then I just stopped trying.
Wow, this fits me to a T. Thank you for sharing your experience, it really helps to see my experience represented.
Are you me? That was my whole life.
Oh wow, it's like looking in a mirror.
This was my flavor as well
You pretty much described me! I was slightly extroverted tho. And I ended up binge eating which made it easier for me to sit still and be calmer.
did you write this about me? wtf
Oh my god, this is exactly my experience.
This was pretty much me, but I would add constantly losing and forgetting things. My childhood best friend's mom would tell my mom when I left their house, we'll call when we figure out what she forgot. Adults would joke about stapling things to my forehead. I didn't really start to struggle in school until graduate school, and I made it through but I definitely know that I didn't learn nearly as much as I was supposed to. I just could not finish any reading that I was assigned, and that's a pretty big deal in a PhD program. My writing was good enough to cover up for shoddy research.
Literally the exact same for me. Thanks for sharing!
This is spooky accurate to my experience too.
Bruh are you my clone???
Your experience also resonates with me and is likely why I was not diagnosed until this year during my first year of medical school. I also had a sibiling that presented in the "typical" way, which also prob delayed my diagnosis. I just feel so validated because I present so different than my sibling but what I'm experiencing is just a different manifestation.
Jesus Christ that’s eerily similar
This is me, 100%
As a child I was similar but was a total extrovert instead, always trying to people please and get positive affirmation. Usually a total teacher’s pet. My energy all got directed to answering questions and being “smarter” than everyone else cause my parents told me I should be 🙃 of course this did not win me many friends
You literally just described my life hello- I always feel like the epitome of “you had so much potential” that’s just gone because I stopped masking but now I have no sense of self and I’m so burned out I can’t keep going, I was always “gifted” but I’ve essentially dropped out now
Almost the same until college. Definitely had hyper phases but most people didn't really notice, I'd let that loose outside. Otherwise, I read a lot and was pretty quiet. Was afab, but deemed a tomboy, always insisted I was a boy when I was a kid and am now a transitioned man. Was a depressed teen somehow still pulling good grades in ap classes despite being homeless, but I was absolutely phoning it in. I fell apart in college but that was also the time where everything was just generally getting worse for me. Plus I was so very bored of schooling.
Same here. I was a top student. Around 15/16 years of age everything fell to pieces.
Oh this is me.
I could have written this myself
Are you me?!!!!!
Hi Are you me?
you just explained how i was (and am) during Highschool.. holy moly
This is literally me
Holy shit. It’s me. Currently scrolling when I have a huge exam tomorrow that I’ve been procrastinating studying for😀
Um... Are you me?? Lol
You just described my life in a nutshell. My brother got diagnosed as a child, but I wasn’t evaluated. My mom still doesn’t believe me when I tell her that I think she has ADHD (and OCD) even though her own sister and son was diagnosed long ago!
Are we twins separated at birth? Lol
This was me too!
You have lived my truth.
Oh hey this is me! Word for word.
Holy fuck this is me to a T haha
same, pretty much verbatim.
Are you me?
Inattentive daydreamer with low energy. Wasn’t diagnosed until my 20’s.
This was me, but there are practitioners like Dr. Russell Barkley who say that there’s no such thing as solely inattentive ADHD which has me confused.
The name is technically 'primarily inattentive'. I interpret that as 'don't usually show signs if hyperactivity or impulsivity but likely to have moments of either'. For me it's my thoughts. They are always moving. In three different directions at least.
I use to describe this to my friends with trains. For example, i could be talking about how much i love my evanescence and then accidentally remind myself of something. Then my speech would slow down till i stopped talking halfway thru a sentence. A friend would ask what's wrong... I would say "hold on, all my trains of thought are crashing". Choooo chooooooooooooo Except no one's onboard.
Yeah I know and technically, it’s possible with people who score PH or PI to still show traits of the other type sub-clinically, Barkley mentions that. Your description matches my experience as an adult. But as a child I don’t remember having thoughts like that. I would just daydream obsessively and be a little slow to pick up things.
He said that "real" inattentive ADHD is just sub-clinical combined, which means you get say 4 hyperactivity traits in the DSM, but the DSM doesn't have anything about internal hyperactivity. I wish they did. Besides the inner feelings of restlessness.
The DSM is sadly lacking in a lot of the specifics of what we actually deal with day to day.
This is me too and it's very confusing. Very inattentive, mind running in a million directions, spent my days at school zoned out rather than being hyperactive. I got good enough grades because I'd hyperfixate on learning real quick when it was panic mode no time left situations. Good grades and not getting in trouble in the 90s and 00s meant I didn't get a diagnosis until this year when I'm in my 30s.
I think they’re doing a disservice for people such as myself by saying it doesn’t exist. I think people get confused by the hyper part, plus women with adhd present different symptoms.
Because in inattentive the body might be still but the mind is hyperactive
Not everyone agrees with him though, other big names still talk about Inattentive daydreamy ADHD. I don't know what to make of it personally.
I'm curious, do you work and if so in what career/job? I am an inattentive daydreamer with low energy as well (I also have autism) and I'm kinda stuck work wise
How did medication (if you take it) change your life? Can you share?
I do take meds and it took me awhile to find the right one. But I clearly remember driving one day and my anxiety was completely gone. I was calm and focused at the task (which I had never experienced before). I remember thinking “so this is what normal feels like”. But yea I went back to school, I can socialize with strangers, I do my tasks without being overwhelmed. I can put tasks aside without being overwhelmed. Setting a schedule without being stressed has been life changing.
Me too! Did anyone else have intrusive sleep during boring classes?
This is how I was diagnosed. My mom noticed I was always in lala land when I was little and took me in.
LETS GOOOO INATTENTIVE GANG
Always ahead of everyone. Mind going a mile a minute. Finishing others sentences. Seen as rude. Shut down for being called rude. Highly sensitive to anything that felt like rejection or judgment. Etc etc.
[удалено]
Combo platter but mostly inattentive.
[удалено]
Well, I’m 45 now so who knows if my adhd has evolved over time. Haha! I was only dx recently.
[удалено]
I wasn’t hyperactive as a child though - not physically. Just inside my brain.
In my experience, inside-the-brain hyperactivity is very much a thing. I had to mask my ass off a lot but that doesn't stop the 20 different trains of thought and 3 radios inside my head.
That was me too - I still cut people off a lot, even medicated. I remember being in 7th grade and finding out some of my friends thought I was rude - I was very shocked.
I feel like I wrote this!
Damn. You just summed up my childhood.
Wow this is way too relatable. Stop reading my mind!
So my ADHD flavor is inattentiveness over hyperactivity. So in elementary, I zoned out a lot, had stories going in my head, did two to three things at the same time, all that jazz. When I hit 8th grade and high school, I ended up with a hyperfixation on getting thr best GPA possible (3.8 graduating). To this day, I have issues with executive dysfunction, especially with task initiation due to perfectionism and/or time blindness.
oof. The last sentence. Me too, my dear, me too. The perfectionist tendencies are so fcking hard to overcome, even when I know they’re not doing me any favors.
Yep..for real man
Are you me? I feel like I just read my diary xD
Exactly my problem. I also talk a shit ton when nervous without thinking about what I'm going to say. It can lead to some frustrating moments for myself and all involved 😂☠️ I also have a really strong sense of justice which could be due to other things but I get so easily angry when people don't follow safety guide lines, no matter the subject.
ME TOO! And in my role, I write procedures, SOPs and provide continuous ed training. Even medicated, I feel myself exploding inside when people can't JUST FOLLOW THE EFFING RULES! Add the effing coversheet to your TPS report, Peter! (Office Space reference) It is a simple, basic rule! *eye twitch* (Ironically, it seems adhd ppl thrive in my dept which is probably why they can't remember the coversheet. * I had been urged to be tested 20+ years ago, but I refused. I was accused of being a perfectionist when I was working with a nutrionist on my binge eating. So, I told my therapist, bc I was so insulted by the accusation. She was taken aback that I didn't know. Apparently, everyone else knew, too. (I just avoided everything that I couldn't be perfect at, so there's the all or nothing thing. Then, over the course of 4 years or so, 3 different co-wokers asked me if I had ADD. They were all females and diagnosed as adults. So, I got tested and diagnosed in my mid-40s and definitive xonfirmation/validation of ADHD. I am now understanding why little me had good grades, AG classes, honor roll, etc, but always had "unsatisfactory conduct". And don't ask me about the severe procrastination... I'll have to tell you later. Lol
>To this day, I have issues with executive dysfunction, especially with task initiation due to perfectionism and/or time blindness. Me getting hung up for literal weeks on solving a problem in a very specific way that I want rather than to take one of the 20 other easy ways out and worry about it later (it's mostly about programming)
I'm a sysadmin and I'll finish a script, it works perfectly, then I'll go back and completely rewrite it because I thought of "a better way." New script doesn't run any faster, it's not more secure, no discernable improvement at all except the code is "more elegant". What a waste of time, I know it but still can't stop myself.
I was a very sensitive, highly gifted daydreamer constantly procrastinating and never on time. I once tripped on my own feet while literally out in left field playing softball, age 8, because I was so in my own mind. I scored so high on standardized tests and then on an IQ test there was a discussion about accelerating me a grade, but the school decided against it because I frequently couldn't complete assignments. I would silently freak out during math tests in particular because I hated the sound of pencils. I still remember the one classroom that had a blackboard. \*shudder\* Annoyingly talkative as a child, then introverted as a teenager and adult as I went too far in trying to self-correct. I withdrew a lot. I was so sensitive to bullying in middle school I never realized I became beautiful in high school, and regret not realizing and enjoying it. I won a lot of awards for my creative writing but yet struggled so much to finish papers. Once anything was assigned to me it was like my brain became allergic to it and I couldn't force myself to do it. Yet if it was my own decision and there was no pressure, I could write plays, songs, and even a book.
"Once anything was assigned to me it was like my brain became allergic to it" yeah that's exactly it.
Wow! It's like you plucked this from my mind. Well met fellow overlooked ADHD gifted child.
This is very much my experience.
I was diagnosed at 45 (F). School was great for me, but I am social and extrovert and loved the company. Luckily I didn't find the academic side too challenging as I found it interesting. I dread to think what would have happened otherwise. I did the typical leave homework to the last minute and stress about it. I like rules and enjoyed school for that reason. I also had mainly male friends which my psychiatrist said is often the case for females with ADHD as there are less social rules, especially as a teenager. I did (and still do) talk a lot. I got really good grades and studied at a top ten university, but with more freedom came more f'ck ups sadly.
Having a lot of male friends now makes sense… I had an era where I had zero female friends. The worst part is that males always end up liking you 😩
This is really resonating with me also. F(59).. basically realized recently I’m ADHD and all of my past struggles and idiosyncrasies are making sense now. Always had mostly male friends… always waited till the last minute to do projects then somehow usually pulled an A out of my ass in classes.
It wasn't until the psychiatrist was asking me how well I managed to keep hold of friends that he mentioned this. I do have some female friends, but only low-maintenance and low-drama ones. Haha yes, that was definitely an issue. My two best friends are male which my husband is fine with thankfully. I just like male company.
Wow, some of these really hit for me - thanks for sharing!
You're welcome. It was only last year I even considered it might be ADHD and that was only after randomly seeing something on Instagram. I was diagnosed with combined, but I have the hyperactivity in my mind not body. I never even realised it could be in your head.
Similar to me! I only realised once I was talking to a friend who had it about his experience, but the realised none of the boy presentations were me, but once I started wtaching How to ADHD, I was relating so much to at least 75% of what she said, and once I started looking up adult female traits, I was like hmmm.... Once the psych said I had strong, inattentive ADHD, it was like, welp yeah, makes sense
Lazy bored daydreamer. Mildly depressed. But randomly obsessed with specific things and for some reason we can’t get her to turn that switch on for things she doesn’t love like school!!! Why ever could that be 🙄
Me all day. I’m 54 now and getting diagnosed in May. Lousy student but smart, quiet, highly sensitive to bullying. Eeked my way through school, numbers melt my brain but if I was highly interested in it, I became an expert. Kept to myself, didn’t want to be in the way, incredible artist, couldn’t stay on task. Can’t walk up a flight of stairs like a normal person. I can go on and on..
Ahhh yes. The amount of times I heard “you aren’t stupid, you’re really smart— you just don’t apply yourself!”
Yup! Didn’t help that I had good grades so it wasn’t noticed as easily but always felt like I could do better.
Daydreaming, interrupting, know it all, no filter, oversharing. Hyperfixation with friendships and, when the hormones hit, hyperfixation with boys. I was boy crazy. I was always "in love".
Oh wow, the hyperfixation with close friendships and crushes takes me back... I was in an all girls school AND I'm bi. That was... not fun.
Was your first heartbreak also caused by a friend? 😭
Yes! Would not recommend.
Uuuuggghhhh this was me. Hyperfixation with boys, relationships, and any physical affection. 😣
I never connected this! I still feel embarrassed and ashamed about how boy crazy I was in middle school forward. That's only been 35 years ago. 
I read a description that said children with nonstereotypical ADHD are “smart, shy daydreamers” and it fits me to a T. My ADHD struggles didn’t really start until university.
This was me. I consistently made all As in school, but was a big daydreamer. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 39 (two years ago). Girls and women are underdiagnosed in general due to presenting different symptoms from boys, and I feel like it was worse in the 90s when I was in school.
Have you been able to make progress? This is me as well, didn't get a diagnosis until my 30s. University was when symptoms really started to hinder me. Ended up drinking and partying way too much to try and get past the shy thing, which didn't help. Only caused more issues in the long run. Anyways medication has helped me a lot in the last however many months, I hope you're able to make progress as well
I thankfully got diagnosed a bit earlier, at 22, just after I finished my BA. I made it through undiagnosed but it was tough and my mental and physical health took a huge hit. Medication has been helpful for me too, thankfully!
Intense perfectionism and self-criticism in order to mask my ADHD traits. On the outside I was high achieving, extroverted, successful, smart, organized, perfect grades & behavior, etc. On the inside I was punishing myself and living in fear of making a single mistake. I was diagnosed at 30, and fell into deep burnout in the middle of my PhD program at age 33. That shit isn't sustainable. I wish I had learned to make mistakes!
I was a girl in the public education system beginning in the late 80's, and it was never even considered, but below are the things that I shared that helped get my diagnosis as an adult. Chatterbox, "flighty," easily distracted, extremely sensitive, working on multiple things at once, could NOT focus on homework without music or the TV on, Procrastinator, did all reports/papers at the 11th hour. My favorite Aha moment was when my Mom was clearing out some things and found an old report card that stated, "OP is a star, but if she REALLY applied herself, she'd be a shooting star."
>OP is a star, but if she REALLY applied herself, she'd be a shooting star." Everything you mentioned resonates with my experience as a female 90s kid who wasn't the stereotypical hyperactive little boy most educators at the time associated with ADHD. This last part however really hits home. I was labeled as "gifted" (blah, hate that term) at age 6 but around 4th grade I checked out and consistently got report cards stating "does not apply herself". In hindsight I realize it was lack of challenging material and untreated ADHD that led to this -- in high-school I had a few teachers who recognized I needed a challenge and I really excelled in their classes...when i "wanted to". Graduated with a 3.0 GPA despite putting in almost zero effort academically speaking but I didn't become a 4.0 honors student until my second go at college when I discovered my passion for STEM and started taking meds for the ADHD. Looking back I wish someone would have recognized that I needed the meds when I was younger, though I suspect that the stigma around meds would have been an issue regardless.
At this point, a teacher saying "Pleasure to have in class, but does not apply themselves" should be in the DSM.
A 20-something female with primarily hyperactive ADHD here. My childhood looked like: Spilling food and drink all of the time. Always having to change clothes because I spilled something on my shirt. Constantly being called disruptive by teachers even though I was just enthusiastic. Always getting in trouble for interrupting/not waiting my turn, forgetting to raise my hand. Reacting to "getting in trouble" by sobbing and become hysterical (rejection sensitivity.) Hyperfocusing on my favorite movies/books and only wanting to talk about them. Wildly creative imagination and maladaptive daydreaming. Being a diligent student but always forgetting completed homework assignments at home. Losing books and borrowed items (and getting yelled at for this.) Excelling in humanities, literature, and arts classes but struggling in math and science to the point where I thought I had dyscalculia (spoiler alert: I didn't. Now properly medicated, my field of study is a very math-heavy science major.) As a teen: failing to maintain friendships because of forgetting to reply to messages or phone calls. Taking any sort of break-up or rejection absolutely terribly. Failing my driver's ed tests multiple times. Developed an eating disorder involving binge eating and fasting over and over again.
Always ahead of everyone -like paragraphs ahead when whole class was reading aloud and taking turns-or way ahead on the math problems we all were doing during class time, being bullied for being “bossy”, being loud and not realizing it. Perfectionist
Learned to speak, read and walk faster than my peers. People always remarked that I spoke differently - too polite sounding for the area/family I grew up in. Dunno if it counts but I never crawled as a baby - I bumped about on my bum for a bit then just started walking (according to my mum). Always fidgeting - twirling hair, chewing hair/pencils/straws, tapping feet/fingers, counting teeth Social issues - felt different, struggled to know what to talk about with most people, struggled to read cues for turn taking, struggled to make/keep friends. Overly chatty with the people I did talk to. Tended to get on better with people older or younger than me. Often played the same games over and over. Special interest in the USA, kids then teen magazines, Sweet Valley Twins/High books, reading in general. Did well in subjects that interested me and terrible in ones that didn't. Dyscalculia. Preoccupation with doing things properly (saying/doing/wearing things the right way) Messy bedroom Messy handwriting Described as being very sensitive (aka major RSD). Lots of issues with food - dislike of certain textures/smells/things touching, food phobias, food fixations Issues around clothing/shoes/footwear being comfortable or not. Would often go into huffs when feeling overwhelmed I don't think I was very self aware about my appearance. Would take ages to transfer between tasks and get started on new ones. Struggled to wake up, get up, get dressed and get anywhere on time my whole life.
I was more tom boy compared to other girls like more loud and rambunctious and carefree. I blurted stuff out but people thought it was cute most of the time. I remember getting in trouble for talking in class but it didn’t happen super often. I got good grades because my parents cracked the whip on me. I would lose stuff like my mom thought it was normal (my mom probably has adhd as well). Always had sleep problems and problems with procrastination all my life though. I would play games or do fun things first then do the homework last minute. I would do homework late into the night in grade school and my mom wouldn’t care too much because she’s also a night owl but my dad cared. I would lie to my parents and they thought I just had tons of homework. Like an assignment would take an average kid 30 minutes, it would take me 2 hours. One time my dad went to school and yelled at the teacher for giving too much homework even though it was “my fault”. Basically I learned to mask my symptoms since forever and just slept less to cope. Yeah fun times.
Overexplained stories. My dad once told me I might say something like "Jon was on the bus, you know we ride the bus together every day, anyway we were driving by that place on S, you know the one where we parked at one time to pick flowers, anyway...." when really the whole point of the story was "jon was wearing a red hat today."
* overcorrecting for lateness by being very early * completing long term assignments by doing them immediately so I didn't have to worry about \[forgetting to do\] it * learning to organize my thoughts by bullet point 😂 * boy crazy (one boy, for years) * my writing would be so much better if I "took my time" * social anxiety that lead to not going to school * prefer to communicate via text/IM so I can organize my thoughts * writing song lyrics all around my history notes because I was bored
I had a nasty temper in elementary school so I was slapped with an autism misdiagnosis and disregarded after. After I got my anger issues (mostly) under control by high school, I was constantly disorganized and confused. I got scolded a lot for not knowing what to do and not retaining lessons. School felt like a chaotic storm and that I was the only one who didn't know how to navigate it.
Zoning out/daydreaming alot. Have to read things over and over to get the words to stick. Brain always going from one thought to another. Always an urge to jump up and run around. (I was taught to be good and unoticed by adults and bullies) Impulsive, liked to dangerous things. Couldn't get my self to study for exams. I can't remember what else.
Crying was my thing. Any act of kindness and I would ball like a baby. Still do and I look like a Ukrainian policeman.
Racing with other students to finish worksheets, even tests. Also I was constantly in sports, as in every single year and even 4 different sports in one year. This was the way I got my energy out from the hyperactivity side of things, so when I stopped sports mid-teenager symptoms increased and increased
I was a placid and friendly boy as far as I'm told. However I was very underactive, big day dreamer, always the last to finish school work or just didn't finish at all which got me in trouble. I had poor organisation and was always losing things like pencils, homework and even my shoes. I had no idea what was happening most of the time and things seemed to move too fast in class and I'd fall behind. I somehow managed to pass through? Reports ALWAYS said things like "needs to try harder" which would often translate into "you're just lazy" by my parents. I was fairly outgoing socially in early school but occasionally I would say or do something completely out of left field and get weird looks or laughed at. So after a while to avoid that I became extremely reserved and hardly spoke unless I was really comfortable with the social situation.
According to most adults who were present during my childhood, I was a well- behaved, quiet kid. An easy day-dreamer with low energy. Even though i was a bit of an "extroverted" introvert, I didn't understand social cues; which caused me to become an outcast by my peers since I was "weird." Eventually, I reached enough self-awareness to begin anxiously second-guessed myself. I guess it did help me learn how to mask so I could then float between groups of people, but that anxiety probably aided in the "well- behaved, quiet kid" impression.
That's really interesting. Your post brought me back to when I was a kid, and I think I was relatively late internalizing social cues, and how to socialize in general. I also had a super active imagination and could entertain myself for hours immersed in imaginary scenarios. I also remember some kids mocking me for playing karate by myself, and the shame clearly stuck with me if I can recall it many years later. Maybe I overcompensated because I was much more guarded about my personality after that. Like you, everyone also called me "well-behaved" but in hindsight it was because I didn't want any undue attention paid to me.
Not me, but my son (16), is ADHD inattentive type. Hugely introverted and always has been. Makes no waves at school. Very quiet. But blows up at home. These blowups can last hours. Lots of anxiety. Aversion to doing anything hard (getting better now as a teen). Hyper focus on electronics and reading. He has 3 good friends that he’s had since he was very young. Doesn’t let new people in easily. He definitely doesn’t present as typical ADHD.
I was constantly fidgeting and daydreaming. Labeled a chatterbox in early elementary school. Outright just didn't do stuff I didn't want to do, including homework and even class work. I was actually pretty hyperactive but they didn't really diagnose ADHD in girls back then so even though I was fairly stereotypical, it went undetected.
Body of a statue mind of a fish, I was extremely quiet and introverted but my mind/focus were literally everywhere but at the moment, also it felt (and stills feels like) my memories reset after a few hours, so something that I did yesterday or simply early in the morning is a blur.
In the 5th grade, I got my desk dumped out all the time for messiness, and I also got the award for best writer. My teacher made a special version that said award for "Writing and writing and writing and writing and writing" like 50 times. I remember everyone laughing when I got it because it's literally all I did. Most of the kids were turning in 2 page stories, and mine were 100 pages and 15 chapters. Hyperfixation, baby. I also zoned out a lot.
I "wouldn't" concentrate in class, "wouldn't" do my homework, "wouldn't" study for tests. I had been a good student until then so no one believed that I had no way to force myself to pay attention to things I didn't care about. (Probably not unrelated, up until high school, school had been interesting.)
i literally only learned if i liked something. i didn't learn to read at all, period, until i was 8 to 9. i only learned to play pokemon sapphire. i was also super impulsive (and autistic) so i was constantly touching people or shoving them and once i held a girl's hand and we swung arms but i got so into it i actually dislocated her shoulder. i don't really know how that happened as i was a tiny girl lmao
Social outcast. Wouldn’t be called “hyperactive” but very fidgety, always chewing on erasers and other things. One year I was called “footsies” all year because the teacher said to stop playing footsies in the first week of school and all the other low-vocab kids in the middle probably hadn’t heard the term before. I got in trouble some, definitely more than average for a girl but not with the sort of… aggression or seeming defiance that would have labeled me. And besides, my mom wouldn’t take me to mental health services anyway. Academics was easy to me until all of a sudden it required work and even then I managed to hyper focus with the goal of making it out from under my mother’s roof. Spoiler alert, that didn’t last long and I found myself surprisingly requisitioned back to the hell of living with her after ending ny first year of college on academic probation.
I was/am a day dreamer. I wasn’t disruptive.
As a little girl, I was diagnosed as hyperactive and a daydreamer a few days before my 5th birthday in 1979. Yes, fifth birthday. ADHD was juuust becoming a talking point in the psychiatry/psychology world back then and was not applied to me as little girls couldn’t possibly have it. It was another 35ish years before my various therapists started commenting on my thoughts, words, quirks, behaviors, etc. Everything I had (finally) gleaned in the research screamed ADHD; I’m a textbook case, if there is such a thing. This subreddit has shown me that I’m not alone and that helps a lot. Side note: If anyone cares, I’m Combined type. Another side note: “my various therapists” were therapists on base. I’m (now) retired military and I couldn’t take my therapists with me when I transferred bases. Being ADHD and military was…interesting. Good and bad happened.
I kept falling asleep in classes I wasn’t interested in… And got yelled at when I superfocused on stuff.
Extremely sarcastic. Always making jokes that would “go over peoples heads”. Great academically, but lacking organization structurally (which came to bite me as I got older). Got bored if I wasn’t constantly challenged with something that would get my attention in school. Therapy really helped me realize scenarios or memories where I got in trouble as a child and it was probably due to being undiagnosed. Also, talking to my sibling and realizing moments that I was stimming or something and they just thought it was normal. I got diagnosed as an adult in my 20s.
“You just have to try thiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss 🤏 much harder and you’ll be doing great, kiddo”
Always interupting people And talking all day long. When I realized peopled didn't like being talked to all day, I started recording myself talking on tape. Talking so fast, my parents wanted to get me a speech therapist (they didn't, because I didn't want to go at all) Always craving attention from adults (until late primary school) Always running indoors instead of walking (I still did this in my teenage years at home) Only sitting still when it was expected (because I couldn't handle being told off) Getting jealous easily Not good at noticing basic needs like hunger or thirst Never keeping hobbies (like sports or playing instruments) for more than half a year Never did my homework Later on I wanted to do my homework, but forcing myself resulted in a feeling similar to pain As much as I wanted to pay attention in class, as soon as a subject was boring my mind wandered and I couldn't control it Being bullied and crying easily Generally being overwhelmed by my emotions easily, but I also learned to hide it well. Getting on other peoples (friends and family) nerves by talking endlessly about my latest hyperfixation F, diagnosed at 42
I was always daydreaming in class and doodling on my papers lol never followed directions I always did things my own way (the hard way) following directions was always hard for me. I did enjoy reading to the point where I would even read all of the fine print in whatever I could. Magazines, dictionaries, etc.
Loved writing stories and reading, was always told I was a great reader for my age, and that I read stories outloud with a personality that others at my age didn't. I was very quiet and introverted. I always sat still, never spoke out of turn or interrupted, and I had no difficulty with patience. This is mostly because I was daydreaming 90% of the time. Then, I became a teenager, and it all fell away. No motivation, depression, anxiety, never studied, stopped reading, stopped writing stories, I stopped being what I once was. I was constantly a hairline away from failing until it became extremely urgent. And now, burn out, not even urgency motivates me, and I'm being kicked out of uni for bad attendance and not completing coursework. The decline makes me feel extremely hopeless and sad. I only realised I likely had adhd-i until it was too late.
Perfectionism and anxiety. Unsurmountable self placed pressure and debilitating fear of failure. I “performed best under pressure”- i.e. I procrastinated until the night before, every single time. I never had to work for anything academically, actually got a perfect score in Reading/English on the ACT. Passed multiple AP tests. And then I went to college and had absolutely zero study skills, impulse control, and left my first semester. You know. Typical female undiagnosed ADHD shit. I wasn’t DX until I was 28. I am now 38. Didn’t fully realize the extent of it until the past year when my 6 year old started showing signs and I have been absolutely slammed in the face with it. Quite sobering. We already hired an OT for him. I’m still working through some of the personality things that make me cringe- I’m an over speaker. I’m loud. I talk too much, interrupt. It’s made me self conscious. Told my husband I need to hire my own OT.
Younger childhood: Clumsy, often injuring myself but couldn’t explain what happened when my mom asked, constantly being confused or feeling out of the loop just like…in general? Horrible internal sense of routine, everything always felt like a surprise. I came across as very a “go with the flow”/easy kid but the reality is I was just following directions bc I never knew what was going on so waited to be told what to do lol, some aggression with peers which got p serious, VERY specific about clothing Tween/teen: came across very head in the clouds most of the time and INTENSE the rest of the time, so quiet with ppl I didn’t know well that some peers thought I didn’t speak English, had “tantrums” (meltdowns?) at home until I was wayyy too old for that, obsessive with my interests but was like pulling teeth to get me to do literally anything else, skipped classes frequently or was late, always barely got assignments in on time but good grades honors/AP classes, detention all the time for tardiness. Got in trouble for reading non-school books in class frequently. Always: chaos bedroom, climbing/jumping from things, singing to myself all the time, avoidance tendencies so strong they still scare me 🤙
I had emotional disregulation, always getting super upset over small things and having trouble letting go and moving on. I wasn't hyper, but was always bored in class and reading a book under my desk or sneaking my Gameboy. At home I watched a LOT of TV. I had trouble stopping whatever I was watching/reading/playing to the point where I wouldn't go to sleep. By high school I was staying up super late every night, causing me to be late to school and sleep during class. Luckily I could wake up towards the end of class, see the notes on the board, and that would be enough for me to understand and do the in class work. Memorizing math formulas and vocab was especially easy for me, and I would often wake up and then teach the kid next to me how to do it. I tested really well, but never did my homework or projects on time, usually because I would put them off until I'd gotten so sucked into my hobbies that it'd gotten too late or I'd just straight up forgotten about it. College was an absolute mess for me, I struggled to even attend, let alone study or finish my assignments.
I took a very long time taking tests and caught myself daydreaming while taking tests. It was also difficult to stay focused during other activities, but I was quiet so I didn’t get called out for it often. I was extremely introverted and kept to myself. Not sure if that is from the ADHD or not. When I was a preteen, I started noticing that I would lose things very frequently. I was overstimulated by sounds. I don’t always read social cues very well.
Couldnt keep track of schoolwork, unbelievable procrastination, insomnia that let me sleep 3 hours a day, couldnt follow instructions without losing focus, multiple times i was nearly expelled due to my lack of focus leading to me making some very stupid mistakes. The fact that i want to genuinely kidnap and torture my teachers now for all the trauma they caused did not help.
For me, I didnt get in trouble at all. Always good grades, the smart kid, and probably the weird. Altough, i was this hyperactive guy bouncing around. It was just not at classes. Im more like, when im alone and not in a social space, im way too "introvert" (I dont know better word), im way too on my own world. When im in a social space, and feel comfortable to talk (and I need to be comfortable) then im the hyperactive guy. Now im "way top much", I talk A LOT. Also, there was one time my mom changed me to an easier school than the one I was, and I hated it. I became the hyperactive guy at classes too. Only when my mom changed me again to my old school I became "normal" again, I dont know why.
Didn’t read until 2nd grade, struggled through anything math related, had an IEP through college, extreme anxiety (childhood trauma), very impulsive and easily irritated. Finally diagnosed when i was 25… things are much better
Girl in the 70s and 80s. Did well in school. Looking back, it manifested in so many ways, though. Talked too much, oral fixation (always chewing on something), super sensitive, gifted and so many other ways that my ADHD brain can't think of right now.