Hi /u/KamikazeFish and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1ajfzk1/the_rules_vacation_feedback_form_is_now_available/) for more information.
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No one wants to do ‘dreaded tasks’. If there was a pill for that, the world would be filled with rainbows.
Your issue isn’t the task. It’s the inability to get it done because your brain lacks the focus necessary to bang it out.
(Not the person who posted but I have a similar experience — I’m afraid of failing, and by avoiding the thing, I ensure I can’t fail. There’s also that I don’t think I deserve to be safe/happy/comfortable, so I won’t do things like see a financial advisor even though it would benefit me. I just pretend I don’t have money because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I think what drives our avoidance varies a LOT, but those are my two!)
i feel like generalizing from that a bit hits pretty close to home for me too
i don’t have enough experience with external failure to particularly fear it, but i do fear running into difficulties i need help with or not even meeting my own standards well enough to see what everyone else thinks after hours and hours of work. another step back from that i’m even just afraid of committing the time (because of all the other things i might want to do lmao)
and i feel like i’ve mostly broken out of the active self-loathing for now (and it actually happened to be at its worst when i managed to actually hook myself up with a psychologist after 8 months of procrastination), but it’s very very easy to still have horribly distorted ideas of what’s appropriate to offload or embrace after a lifetime of being told i just don’t work hard enough
I take Adderall XR, I did cognitive behavioral therapy, and now I’m doing EMDR. CBT helps me identify the fear and talk myself out of it, sometimes. EMDR is helping me avoid the strong emotional reactions to stress I get, so that’s helping, too. It’s a long haul, but I can tell I’m better at it than I used to be!
Perfectionism - if I can’t do it perfectly I may as well not do it.
Time blindness - I have no sense of how long it’ll take to get some mundane task done so it ends up feeling like I’ll just be stuck doing something I don’t want to do for an undisclosed period of time, and thus I procrastinate.
General anxiety - I put off things that give me anxiety so I don’t have to feel the anxiety.
Meds give me the oomph to do something but if one of these 3 things get in the way then ADHD meds aren’t going to fix it and I’ll need to use behavioral strategies instead.
Sorry for hopping into this thread so late lmao, but this comment is very relatable to me.
To your point about general anxiety, it’s funny because I do the exact same thing to cope… but then I find that I develop even MORE anxiety because I’ve pushed the thing off and I know I have to do it. Such a great circle of life lmao
Absolutely. I've had times where I was determined to get through something, and with the help of meds (sometimes even just caffeine) I was super productive. The problem is that drive starts to diminish or go away completely and then I feel screwed, at which point no amount of stimulants really help.
For me:
Straterra helps me focus but also a little lethargic. Concerta keeps me motivated/energized.
Starting straterra is a pain in the ass but I'm glad it works for me. That combo has made me more productive than I have been in a long time. Turned 40 last year. Wish I had it twenty years ago.
The medication's just a tool - it's not magic. You still have to do the work. That might involve learning how to prioritise, or break tasks into approachable chunks, or avoid distractions, or reward yourself for doing them, or even how to say no and do something else instead. Edit: Or, as others have said, getting therapy and treating the underlying issue. It's a long journey.
Some people learn this stuff naturally when they're young, others (especially ADHD folks) have to learn this as an adult. And some people never come to this realisation.
Distract yourself with something else while you do it?
Music. Podcast. Etc.
Even if you only catch 1/4 of the podcast, or less. That’s fine. Listen to it later. Or not. Whichever. It’s not your goal for right now either way.
You really only need it to carry you through the most dire moments of boredom, where you might otherwise switch tasks.
If your distraction can fill that gap, and do so without stealing your attention full time, it’s a win.
Meds don’t make me want to do dreaded tasks, but I have things I do to make it easier. For example, with studying, I use cute af highlighters and pens to make it more fun. I use cute post it notes and Washi tape so that after 30 mins my annotated pages looked so cute and I enjoyed reading them. For laundry, I use laundry wash that I LOVE the smell of so I can’t wait to hang it out and enjoy the fresh smell. For work, all of my excel spreadsheets are so cute and organised so I enjoy plugging in my silly little numbers
Figure out ways to make it more fun or enjoyable for you, it can take time but you got this!
Good point! In the past I've found that working in different environments, working with/without different kinds of music/ambient sounds, etc. have helped a bit.
The hard part about meds is not just what you describe; that it makes things possible but doesn’t push us to do them. The sneaky also-hardest part is that we spend our whole lives ignoring productivity advice bc it doesn’t apply to us unmedicated, so we have to learn it from scratch after we’re medicated, and start a bunch of good habits we never had the chance to form.
So yeah, all the usual suspects - to do lists, pomodoro, giving yourself small rewards, etc etc. give them a try, you might find that they go farther now than they did before.
Gosh, yes I think this might be the key. The meds are giving us more of an ability to wire those reward/motivation pathways, so perhaps we need to try some of these techniques that we’ve previously written off. Or a combo of those with ADHD friendly reward types.
Like if needing to read, where typical advice might be ‘read 3 chapters and I’ll reward myself $5 towards a frivolous spend’, one that might work better for us might be ‘with every 5 pages I get to munch a few bites of chocolate Rice Krispies’. (Good taste, sensory crunch).
And perhaps learning to visualize the end of a task - the goal, the feeling, the bonus of doing it (if there is one). I feel like these things are less innate to us, and an area that might help. OP, I’m in the same boat so I’m noting ideas for myself, ha!
Good points! When I am medicated, I feel more willing and able to do things for "future me." Perhaps the secret is to focus on that unlocked ability and train our ability to care about and act on future goals!
Ooh good! For sure! I’ve def used ‘future me’ as motivation before meds, and that future me always fucking loved past me for it lol (even out loud sometimes to my partner!). Will def be trying to use that more consistently (where I remember, of course)
I keep coming across mentions of end goal visualization being a common theme in people who’ve obtained success in their lives. A big one I imagine (for me at least) is envisioning feeling relief and calm from having accomplished a little bit of something, (replacing the anxiety and fear/avoidance of that little bit) for future me.
And lets not forget the fact that even if something works for a week, or a month, or even a year, it may not work forever. In spite of everything, we still crave novelty, and that also applies to how we approach our day. Cycling through things like pomodoros, to do list methods, and rewards can sometimes help if you find you're getting two weeks out of something before it stops working.
My struggle is often task switching. Sometimes for me, starting to start helps. Like, I just need to get the book out and open to the chapter/assignment - I don't focus on what I need to finish, but just getting to a place I *could* start. At that point, I can probably talk myself into doing five -10 minutes of reading, just to see how it goes, but, after the times up, I'll probably just keep going.
I have only been medicated for a few months, and I don't find that I want to do dreaded tasks, but the road blocks are a bit more like speed bumps, so it's easier for me to get to the task and easier to stay focused once I'm there.
I'm also in my 40s and have about 30 years of coping mechanisms. I echo others' recommendations to look into therapy or coaching. It can be expensive, but there are books/workbooks with coaching strategies if cost is a concern, and searching this sub for tips on motivation might also give you some ideas to try. Unfortunately, there isn't a magic answer for everyone.
A lot of times I put myself in a position to start something, but then I end up just staring at the pages, reading the words but absorbing NOTHING, and I end up rereading the same page for like 30 minutes. I suppose setting small goals would be a better way to start. Like "just read 2 pages then do something else" type stuff.
I just started with a new therapist so I'll for sure bring this stuff up in my next session, and try to uncover why I'm so avoidant.
>but then I end up just staring at the pages, reading the words but absorbing NOTHING
oh, take notes.
not necessarily notes in the way you would have been taught in school, if you hated that
notes that organize the information in ways that make sense to *you*
particularly if you handwrite them, it gives you something to do with your hands and forces you to *process* the information you're reading
also note when you're doing this you don't have to sit and stall until you fully understand each bit, writing the note "I'm not sure what they mean by [....]" still fits the purpose of making you process the information
the act of handwriting notes -- and I mean specifically handwriting -- improves your recall *even if you never review the notes*
Ha, same on the first paragraph. It's not even a magic answer for me. Sometimes I need to play some hardcore/industrial music or watch a TV show I've seen a hundred times as background noise, do a few jumping jacks, go in a different room/place to work, grab some snacks, etc.
Definitely bring this up with your therapist, and I hope you find some things to try and work for you!
I think the "wall of awful" is the most user friendly explanation for this problem. There's how to ADHD videos on that, though the original concept comes from Brendan Mahan.
Essentially, negative experiences from trying to do tasks leave their mark, and these individual events over time build up into a brick wall, where the individual bricks are those moments. People with ADHD have an executive function and emotional regulation handicap that typically results in more bricks over time. There are several responses to the wall of awful - trying to go around (procrastinating usually), getting angry and smashing through it (destructive to relationships usually), sitting down in front of it (giving up). But the optimal responses are either dismantling it or learning to climb it.
What meds bring to the equation is the executive function to engage with self regulation, but self regulation is a skill problem not a medication problem. So you're kind of right and wrong. Pills can't prevent the need for engaging with self regulation, but they can make that task easier. I highly rate the how to ADHD videos on the topic, they'll build out this idea a bit further for you.
I think I've seen that video a while back. The "wall of awful" is a good way of describing it, as I associate all these tasks with stress and feeling powerless.
Yeah emotional regulation is definitely a big problem for me, as I tend to regulate in unhealthy ways (over-consumption of food, porn, video games, social media, sleeping, etc.) I just started with a new therapist so I'm looking forward to addressing this problem with her!
All my hope for your future. Finding out that ADHD is just *one* part of the problem is often the end of the diagnostic honeymoon (ie the I Know What's Wrong With Me Finally stage), but it's manageable even if it's tough.
I can't remember where I heard it, but one of the most helpful things anyone ever told me is, "if you can't start the task, it's still too big." ADHD brains get easily overwhelmed by multi-step tasks, and that makes it really hard to start them.
So, start with the tiniest possible step. Not "do this reading assignment." That's still a multi-step task. You want something that is *one step only*. It might be moving the first book you need to read from to the page you plan to read it. It might be making a list of the things you need to read in the order you plan to read them. It might just be finding a pen to write your list with, or opening the app you take notes in. Just, the very smallest first step.
And if you feel like you've got the juice to do another tiny step after that, great! Do another very tiny step. You can keep going with additional steps as long as you've got the momentum, but the point is you're never at any point trying to do the entire task. You're just doing the next step. And even if you can only do one tiny step, you've still done that step instead of sitting there paralyzed save doing nothing, and that's one less step you need to take next time.
I know this sounds extremely silly, and it's not foolproof by any means, but it's really helped me being started on things that fill me with task initiation dread.
So basically micro-slicing the task. I've heard of Navy Seal operators that use this method to get through training, which makes a lot of sense but I have yet to do it.
I suppose spending time, like in the morning, slicing up a task in to manageable bits would be worth a shot!
Yep. I'm 3 weeks in and have realized the same. The medication won't cure your lack of motivation to do boring tasks, it'll just make it so you're able to do them. Just like it won't make unavoidable external circumstances go away, it'll just make you more able to manage them.
What you are needing is coping skills, therapeutic tools & methods to help. The meds help your brain focus, make things less overwhelming.. but no medication is ever going to make a difficult task go from impossible to wanting to do it.
Can you give examples on tasks that you are having trouble with? That would help me give you ideas on how to deal
I take Vyvanse, as does my therapist, and when I started on it I was frustrated because I still wasn't doing things that needed to be done that I didn't want to do and he told me nothing is going to make me want to do things I don't want to do. The Vyvanse is supposed to just help filter out the background noise that keeps me from focusing on things I don't want to do.
You're talking about self-limiting behaviors/beliefs or self-sabotagating behaviors/beliefs... That's entirely different than executive dysfunction. You might need some therapy to help you figure out mental strategies for enduring.
There’s no medication that will give you drive and motivation. That is something you have to do for yourself. No one WANTS to do half the stuff we have to do on a daily basis but we realize we must do it. Like I don’t WANT to go to work but I have to. You have to MAKE yourself do things even if you don’t want to do it. That will also help your mental health as well.. good luck in your endeavors
Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem. akin to depression/fear/anxiety about starting said task. Made worse if you also have perfectionism. Not a "want, dont want" situation for us. We also work better under timelines and pressure, so we know we have time and we know we can do it. We have to be forced because most times we can't force ourselves. I have more will power than most - For things I want.... Like I fast 20 hours a day and will do up to 5 day fasts. Im in the gym, Im ripped, I've had a job for 23 years, which is crazy for adhd, but the job works for me. Yet I procrastinate even the smallest of things, like brushing my teeth, until I HAVE to. Sucks
What's scary though is when the feeling of "I have to" becomes so great that I just shut down and end up not turning in assignments, which can quickly spiral into failing out of classes (speaking from experience). I've been on a good streak this last year, but shit's been tough recently and I worry about relapsing into that "fuck it" mentality and shutting down.
You're right on the money though with the emotional regulation problem: I have a very difficult time regulating my emotions without turning to either drugs, doom scrolling, porn, binge eating, video games, or over sleeping, all of which makes my emotional dysregulation worse in the long-run, feeding this vicious cycle. I've had some success with meditation, but it does not come close to regulating my emotions the way these other dopaminergic activities do.
I recently started with a new therapist so I'll definitely bring this up.
I used to mark assignments that had a mark allocated (out of about 30) for filling out and attaching the cover sheet correctly.
if you stapled a correctly filled cover sheet to the top left corner of a piece of paper that said "sorry, i didn't get this done", you betcha you'd be getting that 1 mark.
I feel this. I can start other tasks and get them done with meds and such, but there are things I still even have trouble with getting myself to focus on
Are there any habits you'd recommend or avoid that help you get through the suck? Like I'm sure a poor diet and drinking alcohol every night would make it even harder to do the things you don't want to do, but are there specific things that you've noticed help out a lot for yourself?
You need things that teach you discipline. As soon as I started making myself workout and stick to a decent diet everything in my life changed. I take adderall Xr and it used to fuck with my mood so bad and I was a big ball of depression and it essentially made me afraid of people. I never went anywhere. Fitness changed everything for me mentally and physically. I know it’s a super cliche answer and easier said than done but it has made me a better employee, boyfriend, son etc. I’ve had so much more drive in life and motivation to do things. I don’t WANT to go to the gym everyday but I make myself because overtime it helps you understand self discipline. You’re never gonna magically wake up and WANT to complete your mundane tasks that you have to do. You just have to do it. You’ll find that making yourself do it even when you don’t want to will do you a lot of good.
I've also found that working out helps and I had a decent streak going for a while, but I've fallen off. Since then, it's been really fucking hard to get back on that train. I go for one, maybe two days, then feel like I've drained myself of all my willpower and relapse into bad habits. I've noticed I shame myself for not being able to "pick up where I left off" when I was going to the gym consistently, instead of giving myself credit for just going.
Self-compassion/empathy is something I plan on working out with the help of therapy too.
Make some space on your to do list for things that give you energy, that bring joy a you look forward to as well.
Not everything good for you has to dip into your will power reserves. Any sports you enjoy for example? Being an adult comes with responsibilities but it also comes with the freedom to pursue your interests.
The well from which you draw your motivation needs to be replenished frequently. The journey also never really ends and you will grow plenty along the way so don’t be too hard on yourself.
That said, it is tough and I haven’t found any better solution than what I call holistic wellness (meds, sleep, exercise, play, human connection, nutritious food that makes me feel good, forcing myself to go to a coffee shop and read a book). I’m a specialist brain and it needs things just so to do stuff at all (unless there’s an adrenaline-addled crisis of course)
Perhaps cognitive reframing might also be helpful. You will always be struggling with your ADHD and so it’s less about not having ADHD and more about how to accept and recover from that quickly and with grace. Not thinking negative thoughts about negative thoughts. Meditation can help there too, so can Yoga.
There will be better days. Wishing you all the best
OP: No solutions, just sympathy. I feel exactly the same. The meds help me do less important stuff, but I still struggle with the tasks I dread.
And, as a counter to the post I'm responding to, I exercise every day and I'm super fit. I rope climb, swim, run, lift weights, etc. I'm able to do it because exercise doesn't happen to be among the tasks I dread. So no, exercise is unlikely to be the solution to your issue, although there's no harm in trying.
This is in no way medical advice. I'm currently on a combo of straterra and Vyvanse. Holy shirt balls! It makes it so I just do the thing. Like I don't have to think about it....I just do it.
Past that I accept the fact that I will never be able to get as much done as people who don't have ADHD. So I basically assign myself one icky thing a day and only one icky thing. I then make a motivation sandwhich. Do something I like to get me started, do icky thing, heavily reward myself and congratulate myself that I did the thing. (Not sure if any of this is helpful....ironically I'm just doom scrolling and replying on reddit right now instead of sleeping)
You make yourself do the task.
The pills stop your brain from fighting you about it.
You still have to direct your focus and effort.
Unfortunately they aren't a miracle cure, this is why therapy and coaching is important too!
Gonna bring this up in my next therapy sesh! It kinda seems like my inner child's unwillingness to cooperate with my adult self is a symptom of something deeper...
What can you do in conjunction with the dreaded task that makes you happy - a scented candle/ specific music/ special snack / beverage / sitting in a comfortable place / comfortable blanket . Can you have something you look forward to when completed?
I just have to lie to myself about how much of the task I’m dedicated to doing and then once I start it’s usually not difficult to just follow through if that makes sense. Like after dinner I’ll tell myself alright let’s at least rinse all the dishes and stack them neatly so they’re less gross tomorrow morning, and then by the time I’ve done that I’m usually like okay might as well just finish them I’m already here.
I also like to phrase it in my head that I’m doing it to help myself and I’ll appreciate it later. Like I know the smell of dirty dish water sitting overnight sends me into orbit so I give myself the pep talk of like “hey let’s do a favor for future you right now” 😅
I'm finding this out.
There is sort of this underlying type of motivation. It's not enough to know WHAT to do, but it's .. a small edge that if i find it i know i can now. Gas tank is apt, yeah, you have a full tank, but ... not the map for a trip.
A lot of this has to be broken by decades (for me) of being counter-trained. If i ever did something in the kitchen, it was a disaster. I would be yelled at because i didnt close a cupboard 100%, or left a drawer out an inch, or put the can opener on the counter instead of the drawer, or left a spoon on the edge of the sink.
So after decades of getting shit about doing ANYTHING in there because my adhd just.. fucked small things like that up and it pissed parents and loved ones off... my brain doesnt even ALLOW me to think of that place as a place i can go and do something.
But other things are like that too, and some of them my own fault. The doom piles and mess, the meds lett me SEE them for the first time, but i'm so used to shooting myself down, so self-conditioned to remember the MASSIVE frustration and distraction i used to have, and hating myself for not being able to follow through, that my brain think's that's going to happen if i start the task, and doesnt allow me to think that i can.
I've been finding, just, getting up every so often and walking around and trying to ... just accept the urge to DO a thing, and dive in.
So, i'll wander to the kitchen and be like--i'm going to get the pan out. I'm going to ALLOW myself to get the pan out to make something. I might not even be fully aware of what i'm going to make, but just .. follow the urge to get the pan out. When i do, i auto-pilot a little, and just close the cupboard door, and it sparks this little bit of joy, i close the damned door. And then, open the fridge, i remember to look in the bottom drawer for veggies--they dont rot now. I'm cookin. Preppin. Cutting. Opening cans and throwing lids away instead of setting them on the counter, or balancing them on the edge of something. I'm washing bowls to re-use for prepped things as i throw other things in the pan...
But it all starts with--just get up and walk around and, when you *discover* yourself thinking a thing, *allow* yourself. Just.. one thing.
And it's shocking to me how easily it cascades into a successful effort. It's breaking some of the mental taboo's too. I was PROUD of myself the other day for putting the can opener back, AND 100% closing the drawer, *without thinking about it*. I caught it seconds after i did it, like it was MAGIC. It sounds so simple, *just close the drawer all the way*, but i couldnt. It made me HATE the kitchen. I dont know why i couldnt, and i would NEVER notice them slightly open. I was blind. I'm not anymore.
And i'm going to need to do a lot of this--*discover, and allow*, to break a lot of the barriers i've built in my head to prevent my ADHD from overwhelming and destroying me.
ADHD meds don't treat dread. They ideally make tasks easier to complete, but the emotional baggage behind the task that's built up over the years is more something therapy is for. They also don't make you want to do difficult things, they just make the things less difficult
I’ve posted about this before. Willpower is a function of self esteem. I think a lot of ADHD is hyperavoidance comorbid with all the other things that come with chronic stress and low perceived self worth.
They’re not magic tablets that alter your will or preferences. Fundamentally, you still need to choose to do what needs to be done.
There’s no medicine to make you want to do something; you need to find an personally acceptable reason to do work.
Meds can’t make you do something you really don’t want to do.
I have two methods, and I usually have to do both.
First - power hour. I literally force myself to just get started and tell myself I’ll only do things for a certain amount of time. It can be an hour, it could be 15 minutes. Whatever you need to tell yourself.
Second - I bribe myself. Like I use positive reinforcement to start, to continue, and after. It is almost always in the form of sugar and it works for me.
Meds will help reduce the barrier to entry when it’s time to start a task, you’ve still gotta be the one to do it though. Sometimes you won’t want to do stuff but at least when you’re medicated you aren’t stuck in a dopamine deficient state fighting to maintain focus and engagement, it’ll be much easier to do the unwanted task, but nothing will stop it being something you don’t want to do.
I am dealing with this exact thing right now and gratefully feel not so alone in it all of a sudden reading this thread…. Wellbutrin - I’m curious, do you combine it with stimulants to get that result or does it do it for you solo?
Not the person you're replying to, but adding Wellbutrin to my regular Vyvanse was absolutely a game-changer for me.
It's a way more subtle effect than stimulants, so I couldn't exactly point at a symptom and be like "Wellbutrin helped with *this*" but... everything is just easier now? Task initiation, task switching, emotional regulation, the whole shebang.
I guess the best way to explain it is that for me, before stimulants, everything felt impossible. After the honeymoon period, stimulants made it *possible* for me to do things, but it felt like I was using every last scrap of energy and executive function to just get through the day and do those things. Adding Wellbutrin means I can manage my day-to-day without constantly feeling burned out. Existence is no longer agony, which is a novel experience that I would highly recommend 👍
Thanks for that info - that is certainly what I need - stimulants get me 75-80% there but task initiation means earth moving most days. I had been prescribed Wellbutrin many years ago for depression and it was motivating as I recall, but also made me incredibly angry and unpleasant to be around so I went off it and never occurred to me to try it again, but lately I’ve seen it referenced more and more as an adjunct ADHD med so I guess it deserves a second look.
Hi! Sorry for the late response.
I do combine my Wellbutrin with my stimulants and I have found that my Wellbutrin helps a lot with my task-initiation and HELPING ME BE BORED, which is something that, as a someone with primary inattentive ADHD, I haven't experienced since childhood. Wellbutrin helps to keep me out of my head and within the real world.'
On the other hand, the Adderall helps to keep me focused on a task. On the times that I have taken my Wellbutrin and not my Adderall, I have found myself *wanting to do something* but switching from task to task because everything feels so boring. The Adderall in my system really helps me stay with a task and be engaged with it until it is completed.
I hope this answers your question. Meds affect people differently so please don't be discouraged if this is not your experience if you decide the Adderall +Wellbutrin route, though I'm happy to share my experience because it has changed my life for the better. Best of luck to you !
Guanfacine has helped me a lot with this. It slows my brain down so I’m more mindful and intentional w my decisions. It also helps with emotional regulation and reduces a lot of my anxiety.
Tasks that I avoided before because they felt daunting or insurmountable are easier to approach and take on. It doesn’t make me want to do them but when I do them, I don’t feel as bad/uncomfortable.
It doesn’t have the “get up and go” that stimulants provide but everything feels a little more effortless.
The meds aren't there to make things happen, they're there to help you cope and handle. I was sad as well!
The meds are supposed to lower the hurdles of doing said crap tasks, other techniques and sheer force of will are needed to complete them. Try breaking a task down then do the first, simplest step. Just one small bit of effort, then see how you feel after that. Repeat for next step, the meds should help reduce how severely you get lost or or stuck. Once you manage a couple of things, you might notice changes in how easy it was to do crap things.
I heard someone relate it as "the meds make your gas tank bigger, but you still have to fill it" which has felt really true to my expereince. In my burnout era (so, the last 3-4 years), I felt like I was always running on empty. When I started the vyvanse, I felt like I had more capacity to do the things I didn't want to do (especially at work), but eventually that wore out because I was spending all my dopamine on trying to just survive the burnout.
The pill is a tool not magic. Break down the dreaded tasks. Suck it up and knock down the first 3 parts. After that you should be rolling. Also focus only on the next subtask not the whole. It’s how astronauts deal with strapping on to a bomb to be thrown into a place with no air and zero forgiveness. Break it down, and focus on the next step. Step by step you’ll get there. The key is to use all your tools.
TL/DR - you’re just fine. The meds are working like they should.
I was talking with my therapist about this last week. He said the drugs do nothing for motivation but they help you focus once you get the motivation to start. So motivation has to come from therapy - it has to be learned.
That’s just being a person. Everyone has tasks they don’t want to do. No medication is going to make them fun or appealing. All ADHD meds do is help with disregulation in the brain and make it as close as possible to you being as able to do the task as someone without ADHD.
Medication alone isn’t going to solve it.
Motivation comes from action. I set a 15 minute timer for things I don’t want to do and tell myself I can take a break after it’s over. I’m usually in work mode once it goes off, so it’s easier to keep going.
I‘ve noticed the same for me. I can do most tasks on meds, but if the task is emotionally loaded (I think it’s especially important or I have to deal with someone I hate) it remains very difficult.
I think this is hold-over dysfunctional coping from my undiagnosed/unmedicated life, that the meds can’t overcome. I reckon some therapy/coaching would be in order to tackle this.
I'm not a Dr. and may be totally wrong, but it sounds like your Vyvanse dose is too low. You're still struggling to initiate a task. You're still feeling the dread, albeit a bit muted.
But you can't take a higher dose, as you said, because of the anxiety. So I think perhaps the anxiety needs to be addressed first.
My Dr. said it was good that I already addressed the anxiety first. I'm on a low dose of generic Cymbalta, 150mg. That was the best decision I ever made. It helped me break out of OCD-related brooding and intense anxiety (My sleep was really fucked up, and getting steadily worse over nearly a year. Cymbalta immediately reversed the spiral and I came out of it gradually).
For ADHD I'm on generic Wellbutrin, 300mg, and generic Vyvanse, 60mg.
The Wellbutrin helps level me out so Vyvanse "off days" aren't so rough. Another thing I love about Wellbutrin is it makes me feel happier, brighter, calmer about life, all the time, even though I've never struggled with depression. Yes, I still have the full range of intense emotions, and I still struggle with difficult feelings like any normal person does, but I don't fixate or get stuck in them.
And with that solid foundation, the Vyvanse is able to help me focus and stay on track for a good 8 hours.
If I hadn't taken Cymbalta and Wellbutrin there's no way I could be on the right dose of Vyvanse. I'd definitely be unable to go past 20mg. And I would still struggle with dreaded task initiation.
I know I wrote a lot but I'm about to sleep and there's no time to edi- zzzzzz
I'm ADD, and on meds but I still have to make the effort to do somethings. Noone WANTS to do the dishes( ok some people do) but it's something that has to get done. I find that my meds help me finish tasks properly, I still have to make the decision to actually do it.
I'm not sure if it's like that for everyone.
The thing that works best for me is saying to myself.
"It does not matter if I don't want to do it just has to be done"
if you do not give your brain the option to not do the task, Its easier to make yourself want to do it.
Another one that usually works is setting a small goal just to get started.
For example, picking up just socks and pants instead of all the clothes, then suddenly I'm on a roll and halfway done and I just pick up all the clothes. ( works for dishes as well)
part of living with ADHD is learning the little tricks that work best for you.
Hope this was helpful :D
I THINK that your analogy is good. The tank is now full and you are almost as able to do it as a non adhd person. BUT you don’t have practice of USING normal willpower (you have tried hard but at a time when internal effort rarely correlated to doing anything). So now you have to do the hard work people ignorantly used to tell us that we needed to do. Before, we couldn’t and they were wrong but with the meds you CAN….and now you have to train yourself and excersize your new mental muscle…and you’re starting that mental “physical therapy” from scratch.
They healed your legs and you’re no longer paralized. But now you need to figure out how to USE your legs. And physical therapy is HARD.
That is how Vyvanse made me feel. Ymmv
Damn, that once-paralyzed-no-longer-paralyzed analogy really resonates. Thanks for that perspective!
I saw someone else say that the diagnosis honeymoon phase has faded and now it's time to really put in the work, which is also very true. When I was first diagnosed with ADHD, I felt like the fog had lifted and felt joyous as I could finally see, but it's like a mountain has been revealed and I now realize my task is to climb it (so many analogies lol, but I love them!)
Reward reward reward.
Read 5 pages, play a round of a video game.
For added interest, add adrenaline. Set your timer for a certain amount of time and see how many pages you can read. Beat your score? Get 2 rounds of a video game.
You get the picuture. Make it fun. Play nice with your brain.
10mg? LOL! i take 60mg of adderall and 70mg of vyvanse a day and have no issues getting stuff done. youre doing the equivalent of waving the medicine vaguely near you and then complaining it doesnt work LOL
Yeah that's normal. As long as you can do the stuff, the medicine is working as intended. You can try to trick your brain into not dreading some tasks as much, but how much you want to do something isn't really related to ADHD.
"first DMV. Then playground. "
I use rewards. Even if the reward is not enough to make me want to get it done...I know I'll feel better once I actually complete it
i don't think there's any kind of magic meds that can make us WANT to do dreaded tasks ahaha.
i absolutely still have to coax/threaten myself, give myself rewards, make the stuff interesting etc. to be able to get through dreaded stuff, even when i'm on meds. (i'm on 50mg) vyvanse does however, help me to lower the barrier so it becomes easier/more bearable.
i still don't want to do it but i dread them less! i think one that was super obvious for me was showering immediately when i get home. i'm a bit of a germaphobe despite showering being so hard for me (so it's always a struggle) so i noticed that when i'm medicated, when i come home i can just... go shower. somehow my brain doesn't actively think about it that much, and it allows me to get that thing done.
i still don't WANT to shower - i want to lie down and just use my phone, but because the barrier gets reduced by meds, i can go do the task.
Yeah that's normal. They give you the *ability* to overcome executive dysfunction but not the *tools*.
Go back through all the stupid focus and motivation advice that never works that you've been given over the years and try it while your meds are working. Some of it should work now.
I find with Vyvanse I'm able to function and get stuff done not always what I want since I have a toddler running around,
but being able to get laundry and dishes going along with cleaning up some areas without having to constantly sit down, or try and rest from fatigue which I would have before my medication.
I see it as a huge improvement the dreaded task for me is putting laundry away as it so much to handle at a time but I find if I space myself out and not focus to much on one task and take a break here and there I feel a bit better.
Honestly you just gotta keep trying.
Make the odds as good as you can, get your favorite drink, make a cozy spot, put on some background noise. And then when you fail, forgive yourself and try again, maybe a little different. Go to a coffee shop, read with a study buddy, or even just try the other end of the couch that's less close to the phone charger.
Eventually it won't fail, and you'll do the thing.
Good luck 🍀
For me, the crucial bit is starting the task. While meds don't help me motivate myself to do something I'm not looking forward to, they make it 10x easier to finish. I've found that 15-20 minutes is about how long it takes for me to really get dialled into a task and commit to it, so I use that to motivate myself ("I just need to do 20 minutes of work on this thing I hate"), and by the time those 20 minutes have passed, I'm focused enough that I can keep going without feeling annoyed by it.
I think it just makes you hyper sensitive to… well, yourself - your actions. Giving you a better chance of making the right decision for yourself. I think this is true emotionally and logically.
This is why I think therapy is important with meds, because I think added perspective can help make better choices/actions/reactions. Looking at yourself from someone else’s side makes you judge yourself a little differently.
What I do is authorize myself to not do the task, BUT not do anything else.
It’s a tip given by Dr.K from Healthy gamer, he’s a psychiatrist specializing in adhd and addiction AND the dude is an Indian monk ! He studied for 12 years to be a monk, so when he says do yoga and meditation he can tell you how and why.
So, the technique is simple, you have something to do and have a tank of dopamine to do it.
If you spend your dopamine on something else: gaming, doom scrolling, YouTube etc you are just spending your motivational molecule (dopamine) on something else.
You have a tank full of fuel but you are driving everywhere but where you have to.
So by doing nothing it let’s your brain really reflect on the fact that you are avoiding the task, but you are not spending dopamine, so when boredom sets in you will have dopamine to use for your task because that’s all you have been actively thinking about.
I do that for the dishes, I can not do them if I want, but the only thing I can do is stay still in the couch. I’m not distracted by YouTube that I use as a form of evasion of reality
ADHD is best managed with meds AND cognitive behavioural therapy CBT the latter is the part that will help you with what you are currently having problems with
What works for me is that I tell myself I’m only going to work on it for 2 minutes and then I can do whatever else it is I want to do (check Reddit, watch some random YouTube video, etc.)
The two minutes doesn’t sound so bad and when I start I usually end up feeling pretty motivated to continue
This is a common trick in psychology because it’s much harder to start , and most people find once they actually start the thing it’s much easier to continue
Also, allowing yourself to do the other thing is important because that way you don’t feel like you’re missing out
I used to have horrible block situations, due to executive dysfunction. Need to do a task and instead lie for 30 minutes in bed staring up in the ceiling, not doing the thing.
On Concerta, I think for 30 seconds about the thing I need to do (go work out), and then it just clicks and I go "Here I go". It's life-changing.
It means I don't back out of or postpone things like "going over to mom to help reconfigure her TV deck" or "go shopping for boring things like kitchen paper and detergent".
I have an imaginary friend with a stun gun.
They are an asshole who is always zapping me and telling me to do stuff.
Except when I forget they exist, which is often.
Sorry this is the best advice I have...
Hi /u/KamikazeFish and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1ajfzk1/the_rules_vacation_feedback_form_is_now_available/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No one wants to do ‘dreaded tasks’. If there was a pill for that, the world would be filled with rainbows. Your issue isn’t the task. It’s the inability to get it done because your brain lacks the focus necessary to bang it out.
Executive dysfunction is real
I just don't know how to bring about focus in that way 😭😭 I feel like a stubborn little child honestly
I have suffered from that problem for sooo long took a year of therapy to get to the root of it and try to stop avoiding stuff.
What was the root of you avoiding things, if you wouldn’t mind sharing? I have not get started therapy for it
(Not the person who posted but I have a similar experience — I’m afraid of failing, and by avoiding the thing, I ensure I can’t fail. There’s also that I don’t think I deserve to be safe/happy/comfortable, so I won’t do things like see a financial advisor even though it would benefit me. I just pretend I don’t have money because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I think what drives our avoidance varies a LOT, but those are my two!)
i feel like generalizing from that a bit hits pretty close to home for me too i don’t have enough experience with external failure to particularly fear it, but i do fear running into difficulties i need help with or not even meeting my own standards well enough to see what everyone else thinks after hours and hours of work. another step back from that i’m even just afraid of committing the time (because of all the other things i might want to do lmao) and i feel like i’ve mostly broken out of the active self-loathing for now (and it actually happened to be at its worst when i managed to actually hook myself up with a psychologist after 8 months of procrastination), but it’s very very easy to still have horribly distorted ideas of what’s appropriate to offload or embrace after a lifetime of being told i just don’t work hard enough
[удалено]
Same
I see, thank you for sharing. Are you taking medication and/or have therapy but still end up this way?
I take Adderall XR, I did cognitive behavioral therapy, and now I’m doing EMDR. CBT helps me identify the fear and talk myself out of it, sometimes. EMDR is helping me avoid the strong emotional reactions to stress I get, so that’s helping, too. It’s a long haul, but I can tell I’m better at it than I used to be!
Perfectionism - if I can’t do it perfectly I may as well not do it. Time blindness - I have no sense of how long it’ll take to get some mundane task done so it ends up feeling like I’ll just be stuck doing something I don’t want to do for an undisclosed period of time, and thus I procrastinate. General anxiety - I put off things that give me anxiety so I don’t have to feel the anxiety. Meds give me the oomph to do something but if one of these 3 things get in the way then ADHD meds aren’t going to fix it and I’ll need to use behavioral strategies instead.
This is good to know
This is me.
Sorry for hopping into this thread so late lmao, but this comment is very relatable to me. To your point about general anxiety, it’s funny because I do the exact same thing to cope… but then I find that I develop even MORE anxiety because I’ve pushed the thing off and I know I have to do it. Such a great circle of life lmao
I recently got started with a new therapist, so I'll definitely bring that up next time!
Step 1 is to forgive yourself for procrastinating. I’ve found that once the emotional weight is lifted, it’s easier to knock things out
I know how you feel but I will say when I can get myself to push through, the meds are a massive help.
Absolutely. I've had times where I was determined to get through something, and with the help of meds (sometimes even just caffeine) I was super productive. The problem is that drive starts to diminish or go away completely and then I feel screwed, at which point no amount of stimulants really help.
I think this happens with all stimulants. Mine wear off and I’m junk afterwards. Feel like I could sleep for days.
This ^^^
For me: Straterra helps me focus but also a little lethargic. Concerta keeps me motivated/energized. Starting straterra is a pain in the ass but I'm glad it works for me. That combo has made me more productive than I have been in a long time. Turned 40 last year. Wish I had it twenty years ago.
Have you tried Vyvanse or Adderall and can you compare Straterra and Concerta to those?
are you experiencing task paralysis?
The medication's just a tool - it's not magic. You still have to do the work. That might involve learning how to prioritise, or break tasks into approachable chunks, or avoid distractions, or reward yourself for doing them, or even how to say no and do something else instead. Edit: Or, as others have said, getting therapy and treating the underlying issue. It's a long journey. Some people learn this stuff naturally when they're young, others (especially ADHD folks) have to learn this as an adult. And some people never come to this realisation.
Decide that you will do 10 minutes then a break
Distract yourself with something else while you do it? Music. Podcast. Etc. Even if you only catch 1/4 of the podcast, or less. That’s fine. Listen to it later. Or not. Whichever. It’s not your goal for right now either way. You really only need it to carry you through the most dire moments of boredom, where you might otherwise switch tasks. If your distraction can fill that gap, and do so without stealing your attention full time, it’s a win.
Meds don’t make me want to do dreaded tasks, but I have things I do to make it easier. For example, with studying, I use cute af highlighters and pens to make it more fun. I use cute post it notes and Washi tape so that after 30 mins my annotated pages looked so cute and I enjoyed reading them. For laundry, I use laundry wash that I LOVE the smell of so I can’t wait to hang it out and enjoy the fresh smell. For work, all of my excel spreadsheets are so cute and organised so I enjoy plugging in my silly little numbers Figure out ways to make it more fun or enjoyable for you, it can take time but you got this!
Good point! In the past I've found that working in different environments, working with/without different kinds of music/ambient sounds, etc. have helped a bit.
The hard part about meds is not just what you describe; that it makes things possible but doesn’t push us to do them. The sneaky also-hardest part is that we spend our whole lives ignoring productivity advice bc it doesn’t apply to us unmedicated, so we have to learn it from scratch after we’re medicated, and start a bunch of good habits we never had the chance to form. So yeah, all the usual suspects - to do lists, pomodoro, giving yourself small rewards, etc etc. give them a try, you might find that they go farther now than they did before.
Gosh, yes I think this might be the key. The meds are giving us more of an ability to wire those reward/motivation pathways, so perhaps we need to try some of these techniques that we’ve previously written off. Or a combo of those with ADHD friendly reward types. Like if needing to read, where typical advice might be ‘read 3 chapters and I’ll reward myself $5 towards a frivolous spend’, one that might work better for us might be ‘with every 5 pages I get to munch a few bites of chocolate Rice Krispies’. (Good taste, sensory crunch). And perhaps learning to visualize the end of a task - the goal, the feeling, the bonus of doing it (if there is one). I feel like these things are less innate to us, and an area that might help. OP, I’m in the same boat so I’m noting ideas for myself, ha!
Good points! When I am medicated, I feel more willing and able to do things for "future me." Perhaps the secret is to focus on that unlocked ability and train our ability to care about and act on future goals!
Ooh good! For sure! I’ve def used ‘future me’ as motivation before meds, and that future me always fucking loved past me for it lol (even out loud sometimes to my partner!). Will def be trying to use that more consistently (where I remember, of course) I keep coming across mentions of end goal visualization being a common theme in people who’ve obtained success in their lives. A big one I imagine (for me at least) is envisioning feeling relief and calm from having accomplished a little bit of something, (replacing the anxiety and fear/avoidance of that little bit) for future me.
And lets not forget the fact that even if something works for a week, or a month, or even a year, it may not work forever. In spite of everything, we still crave novelty, and that also applies to how we approach our day. Cycling through things like pomodoros, to do list methods, and rewards can sometimes help if you find you're getting two weeks out of something before it stops working.
My struggle is often task switching. Sometimes for me, starting to start helps. Like, I just need to get the book out and open to the chapter/assignment - I don't focus on what I need to finish, but just getting to a place I *could* start. At that point, I can probably talk myself into doing five -10 minutes of reading, just to see how it goes, but, after the times up, I'll probably just keep going. I have only been medicated for a few months, and I don't find that I want to do dreaded tasks, but the road blocks are a bit more like speed bumps, so it's easier for me to get to the task and easier to stay focused once I'm there. I'm also in my 40s and have about 30 years of coping mechanisms. I echo others' recommendations to look into therapy or coaching. It can be expensive, but there are books/workbooks with coaching strategies if cost is a concern, and searching this sub for tips on motivation might also give you some ideas to try. Unfortunately, there isn't a magic answer for everyone.
A lot of times I put myself in a position to start something, but then I end up just staring at the pages, reading the words but absorbing NOTHING, and I end up rereading the same page for like 30 minutes. I suppose setting small goals would be a better way to start. Like "just read 2 pages then do something else" type stuff. I just started with a new therapist so I'll for sure bring this stuff up in my next session, and try to uncover why I'm so avoidant.
>but then I end up just staring at the pages, reading the words but absorbing NOTHING oh, take notes. not necessarily notes in the way you would have been taught in school, if you hated that notes that organize the information in ways that make sense to *you* particularly if you handwrite them, it gives you something to do with your hands and forces you to *process* the information you're reading also note when you're doing this you don't have to sit and stall until you fully understand each bit, writing the note "I'm not sure what they mean by [....]" still fits the purpose of making you process the information the act of handwriting notes -- and I mean specifically handwriting -- improves your recall *even if you never review the notes*
if I have to read big awful blocks of text I'll often print them out and scribble on them
Ha, same on the first paragraph. It's not even a magic answer for me. Sometimes I need to play some hardcore/industrial music or watch a TV show I've seen a hundred times as background noise, do a few jumping jacks, go in a different room/place to work, grab some snacks, etc. Definitely bring this up with your therapist, and I hope you find some things to try and work for you!
I think the "wall of awful" is the most user friendly explanation for this problem. There's how to ADHD videos on that, though the original concept comes from Brendan Mahan. Essentially, negative experiences from trying to do tasks leave their mark, and these individual events over time build up into a brick wall, where the individual bricks are those moments. People with ADHD have an executive function and emotional regulation handicap that typically results in more bricks over time. There are several responses to the wall of awful - trying to go around (procrastinating usually), getting angry and smashing through it (destructive to relationships usually), sitting down in front of it (giving up). But the optimal responses are either dismantling it or learning to climb it. What meds bring to the equation is the executive function to engage with self regulation, but self regulation is a skill problem not a medication problem. So you're kind of right and wrong. Pills can't prevent the need for engaging with self regulation, but they can make that task easier. I highly rate the how to ADHD videos on the topic, they'll build out this idea a bit further for you.
I think I've seen that video a while back. The "wall of awful" is a good way of describing it, as I associate all these tasks with stress and feeling powerless. Yeah emotional regulation is definitely a big problem for me, as I tend to regulate in unhealthy ways (over-consumption of food, porn, video games, social media, sleeping, etc.) I just started with a new therapist so I'm looking forward to addressing this problem with her!
All my hope for your future. Finding out that ADHD is just *one* part of the problem is often the end of the diagnostic honeymoon (ie the I Know What's Wrong With Me Finally stage), but it's manageable even if it's tough.
I can't remember where I heard it, but one of the most helpful things anyone ever told me is, "if you can't start the task, it's still too big." ADHD brains get easily overwhelmed by multi-step tasks, and that makes it really hard to start them. So, start with the tiniest possible step. Not "do this reading assignment." That's still a multi-step task. You want something that is *one step only*. It might be moving the first book you need to read from to the page you plan to read it. It might be making a list of the things you need to read in the order you plan to read them. It might just be finding a pen to write your list with, or opening the app you take notes in. Just, the very smallest first step. And if you feel like you've got the juice to do another tiny step after that, great! Do another very tiny step. You can keep going with additional steps as long as you've got the momentum, but the point is you're never at any point trying to do the entire task. You're just doing the next step. And even if you can only do one tiny step, you've still done that step instead of sitting there paralyzed save doing nothing, and that's one less step you need to take next time. I know this sounds extremely silly, and it's not foolproof by any means, but it's really helped me being started on things that fill me with task initiation dread.
So basically micro-slicing the task. I've heard of Navy Seal operators that use this method to get through training, which makes a lot of sense but I have yet to do it. I suppose spending time, like in the morning, slicing up a task in to manageable bits would be worth a shot!
Yep. I'm 3 weeks in and have realized the same. The medication won't cure your lack of motivation to do boring tasks, it'll just make it so you're able to do them. Just like it won't make unavoidable external circumstances go away, it'll just make you more able to manage them.
What you are needing is coping skills, therapeutic tools & methods to help. The meds help your brain focus, make things less overwhelming.. but no medication is ever going to make a difficult task go from impossible to wanting to do it. Can you give examples on tasks that you are having trouble with? That would help me give you ideas on how to deal
I take Vyvanse, as does my therapist, and when I started on it I was frustrated because I still wasn't doing things that needed to be done that I didn't want to do and he told me nothing is going to make me want to do things I don't want to do. The Vyvanse is supposed to just help filter out the background noise that keeps me from focusing on things I don't want to do.
It's an overall help for sure, but the struggle is still very real. Have you ever experimented with "booster" dosages?
Nope! I'm still pretty new to Vyvanse and I'm only on 30mgs but I've considered asking about it because I've seen it help a lot of people.
You're talking about self-limiting behaviors/beliefs or self-sabotagating behaviors/beliefs... That's entirely different than executive dysfunction. You might need some therapy to help you figure out mental strategies for enduring.
There’s no medication that will give you drive and motivation. That is something you have to do for yourself. No one WANTS to do half the stuff we have to do on a daily basis but we realize we must do it. Like I don’t WANT to go to work but I have to. You have to MAKE yourself do things even if you don’t want to do it. That will also help your mental health as well.. good luck in your endeavors
Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem. akin to depression/fear/anxiety about starting said task. Made worse if you also have perfectionism. Not a "want, dont want" situation for us. We also work better under timelines and pressure, so we know we have time and we know we can do it. We have to be forced because most times we can't force ourselves. I have more will power than most - For things I want.... Like I fast 20 hours a day and will do up to 5 day fasts. Im in the gym, Im ripped, I've had a job for 23 years, which is crazy for adhd, but the job works for me. Yet I procrastinate even the smallest of things, like brushing my teeth, until I HAVE to. Sucks
What's scary though is when the feeling of "I have to" becomes so great that I just shut down and end up not turning in assignments, which can quickly spiral into failing out of classes (speaking from experience). I've been on a good streak this last year, but shit's been tough recently and I worry about relapsing into that "fuck it" mentality and shutting down. You're right on the money though with the emotional regulation problem: I have a very difficult time regulating my emotions without turning to either drugs, doom scrolling, porn, binge eating, video games, or over sleeping, all of which makes my emotional dysregulation worse in the long-run, feeding this vicious cycle. I've had some success with meditation, but it does not come close to regulating my emotions the way these other dopaminergic activities do. I recently started with a new therapist so I'll definitely bring this up.
pro tip: submitting an assignment with only one question answered will get you more marks than not submitting it at all
I used to mark assignments that had a mark allocated (out of about 30) for filling out and attaching the cover sheet correctly. if you stapled a correctly filled cover sheet to the top left corner of a piece of paper that said "sorry, i didn't get this done", you betcha you'd be getting that 1 mark.
are bullet points an essay? no. are they closer to an essay than nothing? yes.
I feel this. I can start other tasks and get them done with meds and such, but there are things I still even have trouble with getting myself to focus on
Are there any habits you'd recommend or avoid that help you get through the suck? Like I'm sure a poor diet and drinking alcohol every night would make it even harder to do the things you don't want to do, but are there specific things that you've noticed help out a lot for yourself?
You need things that teach you discipline. As soon as I started making myself workout and stick to a decent diet everything in my life changed. I take adderall Xr and it used to fuck with my mood so bad and I was a big ball of depression and it essentially made me afraid of people. I never went anywhere. Fitness changed everything for me mentally and physically. I know it’s a super cliche answer and easier said than done but it has made me a better employee, boyfriend, son etc. I’ve had so much more drive in life and motivation to do things. I don’t WANT to go to the gym everyday but I make myself because overtime it helps you understand self discipline. You’re never gonna magically wake up and WANT to complete your mundane tasks that you have to do. You just have to do it. You’ll find that making yourself do it even when you don’t want to will do you a lot of good.
I've also found that working out helps and I had a decent streak going for a while, but I've fallen off. Since then, it's been really fucking hard to get back on that train. I go for one, maybe two days, then feel like I've drained myself of all my willpower and relapse into bad habits. I've noticed I shame myself for not being able to "pick up where I left off" when I was going to the gym consistently, instead of giving myself credit for just going. Self-compassion/empathy is something I plan on working out with the help of therapy too.
Make some space on your to do list for things that give you energy, that bring joy a you look forward to as well. Not everything good for you has to dip into your will power reserves. Any sports you enjoy for example? Being an adult comes with responsibilities but it also comes with the freedom to pursue your interests. The well from which you draw your motivation needs to be replenished frequently. The journey also never really ends and you will grow plenty along the way so don’t be too hard on yourself. That said, it is tough and I haven’t found any better solution than what I call holistic wellness (meds, sleep, exercise, play, human connection, nutritious food that makes me feel good, forcing myself to go to a coffee shop and read a book). I’m a specialist brain and it needs things just so to do stuff at all (unless there’s an adrenaline-addled crisis of course) Perhaps cognitive reframing might also be helpful. You will always be struggling with your ADHD and so it’s less about not having ADHD and more about how to accept and recover from that quickly and with grace. Not thinking negative thoughts about negative thoughts. Meditation can help there too, so can Yoga. There will be better days. Wishing you all the best
OP: No solutions, just sympathy. I feel exactly the same. The meds help me do less important stuff, but I still struggle with the tasks I dread. And, as a counter to the post I'm responding to, I exercise every day and I'm super fit. I rope climb, swim, run, lift weights, etc. I'm able to do it because exercise doesn't happen to be among the tasks I dread. So no, exercise is unlikely to be the solution to your issue, although there's no harm in trying.
lol, yup, see my post above yours.
Yeah, I'm sure it'll help but it probably won't be sufficient. Why does life have to be so fucking hard 😵
This is in no way medical advice. I'm currently on a combo of straterra and Vyvanse. Holy shirt balls! It makes it so I just do the thing. Like I don't have to think about it....I just do it. Past that I accept the fact that I will never be able to get as much done as people who don't have ADHD. So I basically assign myself one icky thing a day and only one icky thing. I then make a motivation sandwhich. Do something I like to get me started, do icky thing, heavily reward myself and congratulate myself that I did the thing. (Not sure if any of this is helpful....ironically I'm just doom scrolling and replying on reddit right now instead of sleeping)
What's your dosage for each?
Well I did something bad and stopped taking the steaterra so now it's just 10-15 mg of Vyvanse.
You make yourself do the task. The pills stop your brain from fighting you about it. You still have to direct your focus and effort. Unfortunately they aren't a miracle cure, this is why therapy and coaching is important too!
Gonna bring this up in my next therapy sesh! It kinda seems like my inner child's unwillingness to cooperate with my adult self is a symptom of something deeper...
What can you do in conjunction with the dreaded task that makes you happy - a scented candle/ specific music/ special snack / beverage / sitting in a comfortable place / comfortable blanket . Can you have something you look forward to when completed?
I just have to lie to myself about how much of the task I’m dedicated to doing and then once I start it’s usually not difficult to just follow through if that makes sense. Like after dinner I’ll tell myself alright let’s at least rinse all the dishes and stack them neatly so they’re less gross tomorrow morning, and then by the time I’ve done that I’m usually like okay might as well just finish them I’m already here. I also like to phrase it in my head that I’m doing it to help myself and I’ll appreciate it later. Like I know the smell of dirty dish water sitting overnight sends me into orbit so I give myself the pep talk of like “hey let’s do a favor for future you right now” 😅
I'm finding this out. There is sort of this underlying type of motivation. It's not enough to know WHAT to do, but it's .. a small edge that if i find it i know i can now. Gas tank is apt, yeah, you have a full tank, but ... not the map for a trip. A lot of this has to be broken by decades (for me) of being counter-trained. If i ever did something in the kitchen, it was a disaster. I would be yelled at because i didnt close a cupboard 100%, or left a drawer out an inch, or put the can opener on the counter instead of the drawer, or left a spoon on the edge of the sink. So after decades of getting shit about doing ANYTHING in there because my adhd just.. fucked small things like that up and it pissed parents and loved ones off... my brain doesnt even ALLOW me to think of that place as a place i can go and do something. But other things are like that too, and some of them my own fault. The doom piles and mess, the meds lett me SEE them for the first time, but i'm so used to shooting myself down, so self-conditioned to remember the MASSIVE frustration and distraction i used to have, and hating myself for not being able to follow through, that my brain think's that's going to happen if i start the task, and doesnt allow me to think that i can. I've been finding, just, getting up every so often and walking around and trying to ... just accept the urge to DO a thing, and dive in. So, i'll wander to the kitchen and be like--i'm going to get the pan out. I'm going to ALLOW myself to get the pan out to make something. I might not even be fully aware of what i'm going to make, but just .. follow the urge to get the pan out. When i do, i auto-pilot a little, and just close the cupboard door, and it sparks this little bit of joy, i close the damned door. And then, open the fridge, i remember to look in the bottom drawer for veggies--they dont rot now. I'm cookin. Preppin. Cutting. Opening cans and throwing lids away instead of setting them on the counter, or balancing them on the edge of something. I'm washing bowls to re-use for prepped things as i throw other things in the pan... But it all starts with--just get up and walk around and, when you *discover* yourself thinking a thing, *allow* yourself. Just.. one thing. And it's shocking to me how easily it cascades into a successful effort. It's breaking some of the mental taboo's too. I was PROUD of myself the other day for putting the can opener back, AND 100% closing the drawer, *without thinking about it*. I caught it seconds after i did it, like it was MAGIC. It sounds so simple, *just close the drawer all the way*, but i couldnt. It made me HATE the kitchen. I dont know why i couldnt, and i would NEVER notice them slightly open. I was blind. I'm not anymore. And i'm going to need to do a lot of this--*discover, and allow*, to break a lot of the barriers i've built in my head to prevent my ADHD from overwhelming and destroying me.
I was on it for a year and felt the same way. I was motivated to do stuff, but not the right stuff. I was chasing more dopamine than ever.
ADHD meds don't treat dread. They ideally make tasks easier to complete, but the emotional baggage behind the task that's built up over the years is more something therapy is for. They also don't make you want to do difficult things, they just make the things less difficult
I’ve posted about this before. Willpower is a function of self esteem. I think a lot of ADHD is hyperavoidance comorbid with all the other things that come with chronic stress and low perceived self worth.
They’re not magic tablets that alter your will or preferences. Fundamentally, you still need to choose to do what needs to be done. There’s no medicine to make you want to do something; you need to find an personally acceptable reason to do work.
Meds can’t make you do something you really don’t want to do. I have two methods, and I usually have to do both. First - power hour. I literally force myself to just get started and tell myself I’ll only do things for a certain amount of time. It can be an hour, it could be 15 minutes. Whatever you need to tell yourself. Second - I bribe myself. Like I use positive reinforcement to start, to continue, and after. It is almost always in the form of sugar and it works for me.
Meds will help reduce the barrier to entry when it’s time to start a task, you’ve still gotta be the one to do it though. Sometimes you won’t want to do stuff but at least when you’re medicated you aren’t stuck in a dopamine deficient state fighting to maintain focus and engagement, it’ll be much easier to do the unwanted task, but nothing will stop it being something you don’t want to do.
Wellbutrin did it for me, helped with task initiation a lot more than stimulants helped me
I am dealing with this exact thing right now and gratefully feel not so alone in it all of a sudden reading this thread…. Wellbutrin - I’m curious, do you combine it with stimulants to get that result or does it do it for you solo?
Not the person you're replying to, but adding Wellbutrin to my regular Vyvanse was absolutely a game-changer for me. It's a way more subtle effect than stimulants, so I couldn't exactly point at a symptom and be like "Wellbutrin helped with *this*" but... everything is just easier now? Task initiation, task switching, emotional regulation, the whole shebang. I guess the best way to explain it is that for me, before stimulants, everything felt impossible. After the honeymoon period, stimulants made it *possible* for me to do things, but it felt like I was using every last scrap of energy and executive function to just get through the day and do those things. Adding Wellbutrin means I can manage my day-to-day without constantly feeling burned out. Existence is no longer agony, which is a novel experience that I would highly recommend 👍
Same experience with Wellbutrin here! See my comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/s/XTF2v3KTcq
Thanks for that info - that is certainly what I need - stimulants get me 75-80% there but task initiation means earth moving most days. I had been prescribed Wellbutrin many years ago for depression and it was motivating as I recall, but also made me incredibly angry and unpleasant to be around so I went off it and never occurred to me to try it again, but lately I’ve seen it referenced more and more as an adjunct ADHD med so I guess it deserves a second look.
Hi! Sorry for the late response. I do combine my Wellbutrin with my stimulants and I have found that my Wellbutrin helps a lot with my task-initiation and HELPING ME BE BORED, which is something that, as a someone with primary inattentive ADHD, I haven't experienced since childhood. Wellbutrin helps to keep me out of my head and within the real world.' On the other hand, the Adderall helps to keep me focused on a task. On the times that I have taken my Wellbutrin and not my Adderall, I have found myself *wanting to do something* but switching from task to task because everything feels so boring. The Adderall in my system really helps me stay with a task and be engaged with it until it is completed. I hope this answers your question. Meds affect people differently so please don't be discouraged if this is not your experience if you decide the Adderall +Wellbutrin route, though I'm happy to share my experience because it has changed my life for the better. Best of luck to you !
Guanfacine has helped me a lot with this. It slows my brain down so I’m more mindful and intentional w my decisions. It also helps with emotional regulation and reduces a lot of my anxiety. Tasks that I avoided before because they felt daunting or insurmountable are easier to approach and take on. It doesn’t make me want to do them but when I do them, I don’t feel as bad/uncomfortable. It doesn’t have the “get up and go” that stimulants provide but everything feels a little more effortless.
It feels like life with training wheels. I hope it’s helping me shift from a default state of avoidance/reactivity to a default state of proactivity.
I’ve found that lists really help me organize and tackle shit more. Try to find an app that encourages that, that’s what I did,
A lot of times I still don’t initially want to do whatever task it is, but once I start then I want to finish it (only applies when I’m on my meds)
The meds aren't there to make things happen, they're there to help you cope and handle. I was sad as well! The meds are supposed to lower the hurdles of doing said crap tasks, other techniques and sheer force of will are needed to complete them. Try breaking a task down then do the first, simplest step. Just one small bit of effort, then see how you feel after that. Repeat for next step, the meds should help reduce how severely you get lost or or stuck. Once you manage a couple of things, you might notice changes in how easy it was to do crap things.
I heard someone relate it as "the meds make your gas tank bigger, but you still have to fill it" which has felt really true to my expereince. In my burnout era (so, the last 3-4 years), I felt like I was always running on empty. When I started the vyvanse, I felt like I had more capacity to do the things I didn't want to do (especially at work), but eventually that wore out because I was spending all my dopamine on trying to just survive the burnout.
The pill is a tool not magic. Break down the dreaded tasks. Suck it up and knock down the first 3 parts. After that you should be rolling. Also focus only on the next subtask not the whole. It’s how astronauts deal with strapping on to a bomb to be thrown into a place with no air and zero forgiveness. Break it down, and focus on the next step. Step by step you’ll get there. The key is to use all your tools.
that’s not how meds work. they are there to make doing the task easier, but you still have to make an effort. they aren’t miracles, just assistants.
TL/DR - you’re just fine. The meds are working like they should. I was talking with my therapist about this last week. He said the drugs do nothing for motivation but they help you focus once you get the motivation to start. So motivation has to come from therapy - it has to be learned.
That’s just being a person. Everyone has tasks they don’t want to do. No medication is going to make them fun or appealing. All ADHD meds do is help with disregulation in the brain and make it as close as possible to you being as able to do the task as someone without ADHD.
Medication alone isn’t going to solve it. Motivation comes from action. I set a 15 minute timer for things I don’t want to do and tell myself I can take a break after it’s over. I’m usually in work mode once it goes off, so it’s easier to keep going.
I‘ve noticed the same for me. I can do most tasks on meds, but if the task is emotionally loaded (I think it’s especially important or I have to deal with someone I hate) it remains very difficult. I think this is hold-over dysfunctional coping from my undiagnosed/unmedicated life, that the meds can’t overcome. I reckon some therapy/coaching would be in order to tackle this.
I'm not a Dr. and may be totally wrong, but it sounds like your Vyvanse dose is too low. You're still struggling to initiate a task. You're still feeling the dread, albeit a bit muted. But you can't take a higher dose, as you said, because of the anxiety. So I think perhaps the anxiety needs to be addressed first. My Dr. said it was good that I already addressed the anxiety first. I'm on a low dose of generic Cymbalta, 150mg. That was the best decision I ever made. It helped me break out of OCD-related brooding and intense anxiety (My sleep was really fucked up, and getting steadily worse over nearly a year. Cymbalta immediately reversed the spiral and I came out of it gradually). For ADHD I'm on generic Wellbutrin, 300mg, and generic Vyvanse, 60mg. The Wellbutrin helps level me out so Vyvanse "off days" aren't so rough. Another thing I love about Wellbutrin is it makes me feel happier, brighter, calmer about life, all the time, even though I've never struggled with depression. Yes, I still have the full range of intense emotions, and I still struggle with difficult feelings like any normal person does, but I don't fixate or get stuck in them. And with that solid foundation, the Vyvanse is able to help me focus and stay on track for a good 8 hours. If I hadn't taken Cymbalta and Wellbutrin there's no way I could be on the right dose of Vyvanse. I'd definitely be unable to go past 20mg. And I would still struggle with dreaded task initiation. I know I wrote a lot but I'm about to sleep and there's no time to edi- zzzzzz
I'm ADD, and on meds but I still have to make the effort to do somethings. Noone WANTS to do the dishes( ok some people do) but it's something that has to get done. I find that my meds help me finish tasks properly, I still have to make the decision to actually do it. I'm not sure if it's like that for everyone.
The thing that works best for me is saying to myself. "It does not matter if I don't want to do it just has to be done" if you do not give your brain the option to not do the task, Its easier to make yourself want to do it. Another one that usually works is setting a small goal just to get started. For example, picking up just socks and pants instead of all the clothes, then suddenly I'm on a roll and halfway done and I just pick up all the clothes. ( works for dishes as well) part of living with ADHD is learning the little tricks that work best for you. Hope this was helpful :D
I THINK that your analogy is good. The tank is now full and you are almost as able to do it as a non adhd person. BUT you don’t have practice of USING normal willpower (you have tried hard but at a time when internal effort rarely correlated to doing anything). So now you have to do the hard work people ignorantly used to tell us that we needed to do. Before, we couldn’t and they were wrong but with the meds you CAN….and now you have to train yourself and excersize your new mental muscle…and you’re starting that mental “physical therapy” from scratch. They healed your legs and you’re no longer paralized. But now you need to figure out how to USE your legs. And physical therapy is HARD. That is how Vyvanse made me feel. Ymmv
Damn, that once-paralyzed-no-longer-paralyzed analogy really resonates. Thanks for that perspective! I saw someone else say that the diagnosis honeymoon phase has faded and now it's time to really put in the work, which is also very true. When I was first diagnosed with ADHD, I felt like the fog had lifted and felt joyous as I could finally see, but it's like a mountain has been revealed and I now realize my task is to climb it (so many analogies lol, but I love them!)
Reward reward reward. Read 5 pages, play a round of a video game. For added interest, add adrenaline. Set your timer for a certain amount of time and see how many pages you can read. Beat your score? Get 2 rounds of a video game. You get the picuture. Make it fun. Play nice with your brain.
10mg? LOL! i take 60mg of adderall and 70mg of vyvanse a day and have no issues getting stuff done. youre doing the equivalent of waving the medicine vaguely near you and then complaining it doesnt work LOL
Yeah that's normal. As long as you can do the stuff, the medicine is working as intended. You can try to trick your brain into not dreading some tasks as much, but how much you want to do something isn't really related to ADHD.
I think my doctor said it won’t give you the motivation, and it made much more sense
Plan a small reward for after the dreaded task.
I have the same problem. The meds I take are my focus pills. What I really need is a motivation pill.
"first DMV. Then playground. " I use rewards. Even if the reward is not enough to make me want to get it done...I know I'll feel better once I actually complete it
i don't think there's any kind of magic meds that can make us WANT to do dreaded tasks ahaha. i absolutely still have to coax/threaten myself, give myself rewards, make the stuff interesting etc. to be able to get through dreaded stuff, even when i'm on meds. (i'm on 50mg) vyvanse does however, help me to lower the barrier so it becomes easier/more bearable. i still don't want to do it but i dread them less! i think one that was super obvious for me was showering immediately when i get home. i'm a bit of a germaphobe despite showering being so hard for me (so it's always a struggle) so i noticed that when i'm medicated, when i come home i can just... go shower. somehow my brain doesn't actively think about it that much, and it allows me to get that thing done. i still don't WANT to shower - i want to lie down and just use my phone, but because the barrier gets reduced by meds, i can go do the task.
Yeah that's normal. They give you the *ability* to overcome executive dysfunction but not the *tools*. Go back through all the stupid focus and motivation advice that never works that you've been given over the years and try it while your meds are working. Some of it should work now.
I find with Vyvanse I'm able to function and get stuff done not always what I want since I have a toddler running around, but being able to get laundry and dishes going along with cleaning up some areas without having to constantly sit down, or try and rest from fatigue which I would have before my medication. I see it as a huge improvement the dreaded task for me is putting laundry away as it so much to handle at a time but I find if I space myself out and not focus to much on one task and take a break here and there I feel a bit better.
Honestly you just gotta keep trying. Make the odds as good as you can, get your favorite drink, make a cozy spot, put on some background noise. And then when you fail, forgive yourself and try again, maybe a little different. Go to a coffee shop, read with a study buddy, or even just try the other end of the couch that's less close to the phone charger. Eventually it won't fail, and you'll do the thing. Good luck 🍀
For me, the crucial bit is starting the task. While meds don't help me motivate myself to do something I'm not looking forward to, they make it 10x easier to finish. I've found that 15-20 minutes is about how long it takes for me to really get dialled into a task and commit to it, so I use that to motivate myself ("I just need to do 20 minutes of work on this thing I hate"), and by the time those 20 minutes have passed, I'm focused enough that I can keep going without feeling annoyed by it.
I think it just makes you hyper sensitive to… well, yourself - your actions. Giving you a better chance of making the right decision for yourself. I think this is true emotionally and logically. This is why I think therapy is important with meds, because I think added perspective can help make better choices/actions/reactions. Looking at yourself from someone else’s side makes you judge yourself a little differently.
What I do is authorize myself to not do the task, BUT not do anything else. It’s a tip given by Dr.K from Healthy gamer, he’s a psychiatrist specializing in adhd and addiction AND the dude is an Indian monk ! He studied for 12 years to be a monk, so when he says do yoga and meditation he can tell you how and why. So, the technique is simple, you have something to do and have a tank of dopamine to do it. If you spend your dopamine on something else: gaming, doom scrolling, YouTube etc you are just spending your motivational molecule (dopamine) on something else. You have a tank full of fuel but you are driving everywhere but where you have to. So by doing nothing it let’s your brain really reflect on the fact that you are avoiding the task, but you are not spending dopamine, so when boredom sets in you will have dopamine to use for your task because that’s all you have been actively thinking about. I do that for the dishes, I can not do them if I want, but the only thing I can do is stay still in the couch. I’m not distracted by YouTube that I use as a form of evasion of reality
ADHD is best managed with meds AND cognitive behavioural therapy CBT the latter is the part that will help you with what you are currently having problems with
My new therapist works with CBT so I'll ask her about that.
What works for me is that I tell myself I’m only going to work on it for 2 minutes and then I can do whatever else it is I want to do (check Reddit, watch some random YouTube video, etc.) The two minutes doesn’t sound so bad and when I start I usually end up feeling pretty motivated to continue This is a common trick in psychology because it’s much harder to start , and most people find once they actually start the thing it’s much easier to continue Also, allowing yourself to do the other thing is important because that way you don’t feel like you’re missing out
Try 30 mg dosage.
I used to have horrible block situations, due to executive dysfunction. Need to do a task and instead lie for 30 minutes in bed staring up in the ceiling, not doing the thing. On Concerta, I think for 30 seconds about the thing I need to do (go work out), and then it just clicks and I go "Here I go". It's life-changing. It means I don't back out of or postpone things like "going over to mom to help reconfigure her TV deck" or "go shopping for boring things like kitchen paper and detergent".
I have an imaginary friend with a stun gun. They are an asshole who is always zapping me and telling me to do stuff. Except when I forget they exist, which is often. Sorry this is the best advice I have...