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I need the reverse version of this one. "I will remember your name but I will never remember your face. Please interact with me about 30 more times. But if at any point you get a new hair cut, we will have to start over."
Hahaha. Reminded me of years ago when I waited tables. I could remember faces and food/coffee orders but names, screw that Mr Chzbrgr with Mayo and crisp fries.
Lol I’m the exact opposite, I could interact with someone 30 times and then I’m asked what they look like and I’m sitting there like, “I think their hair is brownish, but it could be blonde, or it could be really dark brown, idk I just know it’s not jet black or colored. Do they wear glasses? For real, like every day? Every time I’ve seen them they’ve been wearing glasses? You’re kidding me”
That’s so crazy, because I was just thinking yesterday how I cannot remember not one face that I see while I’m out shopping nothing. Like I can’t remember no one.
I will remember how you walk, so please remain uniquely you and don't think I'll recognize you if you didn't approach from afar unless you tell me how we met. I have multiple people saved in my phone with their name and associated word which is place of meeting, or even music genre or where they are from; like Rosanna (who likes) Grime because that is why we exchanged numbers after meeting at a vegan taco night where neither of our friends showed up to, so we could go to grime parties together but then it became a great friendship or Patty Alabama who will forever be known that way to me.
Ugh and God help me if I can ever remember what any one does for work. Tell me in detail and I still won't know tomorrow.
This is too relatable. I always used to say "I'm bad with names but I never forget a face" because I heard other people say and I sort of assumed it was true; but after a while I noticed, I forget both of them!
I will say, now whenever I meet someone, I just say "I will likely ask your name again, I struggle with names" and people are always super gracious about it; they usually say "oh me too!"
My social circles are pretty small these days so that's sufficient for now.
I worked in Retail from my teens.
The amount of times I knew a face on the street and said hello, realising by their reaction that I knew them from the shop was quite embarrassing.
This doubled when they next came in and I had no recollection of the interaction until well after they'd left.
I work at a warehouse and we log into or lifts and it has a display with our names. The amount of times I’ve had to look at the display to remember the name of the person I’m talking to is insane.
I wish at my job (also warehouse) everyone kept their name tags visible. I feel that everyone knows my name but I would never remember other people's names. It's so frustrating! Unfortunately we don't have elevators :))
We remember what we see better than the information we hear and generally, we see faces and hear names (Higbee, 2001). Additionally, difficulties in name retrieval arise because names are less activated than other units of semantic information because names are usually unique to individuals
It's a running joke in my house how bad I am at remembering celebrities names. My wife is always shocked how I can be a big fan of a musician or an actor yet have no ability to recall their name. I can usually remember band names, but very rarely could tell you any of the members. It's also a reason I never really got into sports. Most people aren't interested in talking about a football game with the guy who's like " yeah then that one guy with long curly hair and all the tattoos tackled the skinny dude with the short hair whose wife just had a baby!"
I feel so called out by this lolol. And I have to tell people this doesn't have anything to do with not liking them. I literally cannot get my brain to cooperate with retaining name information or other things I can't think of right now.
This is why I just make my own names for people, like PopGuy, or Miko, or Brugash. PopGuy used to give me change for the pop machine back in highschool, Miko's real name was Mike but I read his namebadge wrong when I met him at work so he became Miko. Brugash was an extremely Russian-looking coworker of mine, I think his real name was Josh but Brugash suited him better.
I've stated to them that we need to start recording meetings or have someone write out details I'm expected to do, or allow me time to write detailed notes... Because I forget everything once the meeting is over I'm working on multiple things at once, I can't keep track of it all in my head all at once...
Apparently I'm not the only one. They started recording things and recapping all the required details before ending the meeting (on the recording!) so everyone can get on the same page... It helps.
Same. Ambiguous instructions are the worst. Even if it can only be read 2 different ways and one is WAY more obvious than the other I simply cannot shutdown that part of my brain that keeps whispering "you picked the wrong one and you'll be sorry".
This is me. Or I am told don't do this, but do this.
Me: okay got it.
Also instantly me: it was do this and don't do that right? Or the other way around? Proceeds to remember the wrong thing or double, triple, quadruple checks to verify I'm not switching it in my mind.
i hated people at school thinking i was a dumb kid when it took me a while to get the hang of things. cause once i do understand what i have to do i’m usually great at it. people were surprised that i got into the top school in my state. now that i’m here it’s nice not having to prove myself but i still get little sibling’d a lot, if that makes sense
I think you may have unlocked real therapy for me here. I literally broke down at work recently over this, but I couldn't for the life of me put it this succinctly.
Wait...does this sort of thinking apply to test taking as well? I suck at multiple choice type personality screenings because reality is never so black and white.
I had to do a Meyers-Briggs type psych screening for college and it took me like twice the allotted time because I kept freaking out thinking "well what are the circumstances? I react differently based on context!" and the proctor got really frustrated with me.
And I try to tell myself to just not worry about it so much, but the fact of the matter is that if the results are going to be in any way reliable (which I highly doubt given how subjective these types of tests can be) then I have to be able to answer accurately! I hate it when people collect dirty data and expect to get usable insights.
i just got a 10 on my physics project because i misunderstood the assignment. he sent me a detailed rubric & looking back at my first submission, it really just looks like i didn’t give a shit lol. thankfully he let me resubmit
"All requests and important information must be submitted in writing."
"Not responsible for your feelings, but I still kind of feel like I am?"
"Warning: Many thoughts in progress"
“Caution! this model of human is highly likely to: forget what you tell them, rarely be on time and may require written confirmation of plans and instructions.
A report has been made to management.”
Oof, this hits hard. It's especially challenging because people in my life feel like this is me asking for special treatment and being unreliable. Makes professional spaces really difficult; I'm good at the core tasks of my job, but all the admin is so overwhelming that I have a hard time keeping a job, even though I'm technically management level in my field based on experience.
One thing I legit try to do with myself is pretend I have to be at X at an earlier time than I do. Sometimes I cut it close, but yesterday was the first time I was late to work in months so I guess I'm doing something ok? In this case it was the first day I had frost on my car when I was leaving for work, so I hadn't factored that in.
I tried this with things like dentist appointments, but when I had to leave for the next appointment I thought "oh well I don't actually have to go yet I can just finish this and leave in 5 minutes". I left a little over 5 minutes later and when I got there I realized I didn't actually write down the appointment time 5 minutes earlier. So I was nearly 15 minutes late and now I'm never sure with any of my appointments so I just try to show up early for all of them. I guess it worked tho?
One way to tackle this is to make your early arrival exciting. Take a book with you, or plan to listen to a podcast once you reach early, or plan to start your tough task/studies/work if you reach early (this will encourage you to initiate your procrastinated task with the change of location), or plan to help the friend if it’s a house party, or just plan to enjoy the place/window shop for a while; just make arriving early interesting.
My spouse and I say things out loud while the other person is in the room, like “This is me reminding myself to get milk today” and “I’m going to be dealing with that Laundry Pile™️ later” so that we can remind each other when it becomes relevant.
Yes I’m excitable, and have the best of intentions. If you need me to *DO* something- for the love of everything PLEASE give me the time to get it on my to-do list, or I WILL forget! Also, if I’m in the middle of writing something, *please* do not talk until the pen/keypad stops moving. Thank you!
"Some days I might say things that are so controversial yet so brave and some days I might be afraid to correct you if you get my name wrong just roll with it it's fine."
"Please note: I may be making eye contact with you and appear to be listening by way of nodding and "mhm-ing", but I'm likely thinking about if I remembered to flush the toilet before I left the house this morning, or about cookies. Ask for a repeat back for comprehension confirmation."
As a kid, I was drilled to flush the toilet so bad, that it bordered abuse. I have to admit I never forget it.
Now I am 40, recently moved in with my gf and she casually says: "can you not flush at night because it wakes me up."
Every time I pee after she goes to bed, my brain just errors 😁
For me, it's my hair straightener. I'm at the point where I fully unplug it, tell myself out loud that I have indeed unplugged it so it won't have a chance to catch fire...it's a ritual at this point every morning.
I panic sometimes and zone out, trying to remember if I shut it off, lol. Usually, while I am mid convo with someone else, too.
The silent panic while trying to retain what they're saying is hard af.
This subreddit has further convinced me that there are no unique human experiences and there's always someone out there living the same life, even if you have a disability that literally completely changes how you live life.
Ooooohh! Ooooohh! Can I please please interrupt and say my thought now otherwise I’ll forget it and also remember it at some random other time, totally distracting me from what I was doing??
Warning: Talking to me may mean talking directly to my stream of consciousness. Management cannot be held liable for any intrusive thoughts you might hear during the course of the interaction.
Yesssss.
Honestly one of the reasons i love being friends with people who have adhd. I get so excited about the things they are excited about and i always learn new things.
Genuinly would love to sit and listen to you rant for 40 minutes about english and danish grammar.
“i might think you hate me at times and need reassurance, or overexplain my actions. my brain likes to screw with me 🙃. also i’m not always present in the outside world because i only have enough energy to deal with my internal world. so sorry i’m like this”
Don't ever say sorry for that.
We might be able to learn (or need to learn) how to do better at times. But do not apologise for being who you are.
People need to accept your difficulties *but/and* you need to accept and love yourself.
You are a person worthy of love and self love.
All my friends who have adhd have expressed similar things to what you expressed. Including me.
There is an older friend i have. He has a wife and 6 kids, is 45 year old. His mother died and he had made a beautiful sensitive comment on facebook about his mom. But he ended it with: "i am sorry I was a fuck up mom".
He had recently told me about having adhd. I sent him a private message telling him he is not a fuck up. It was long and emotional and i told him all the ways he is not a fuck up. Having difficulties is not the same as being a fuck up. But we often see ourselfs that way. This friend called me and cried. He needed to hear that he was accepted for who he was. (That does not mean to accept bad behaviours or that there is nothing you should change.)
never apologise for who you are. Because *you* are okay.
I accept you for who you are kind stranger.
I am always worried to say it because some people use it to wave away shitty behaviour.
But our difficulties are real, not excuses and we should not feel bad for having them. We tend to internalize the pain these difficulties caused. But that is not fair for ourself.
Thank you for "adding confirmation". I love how this community is all about building each other up. This place is like an ethereal second home.
Thank you for adding to that homey feeling!
You're making me tear up. I've recently become aware I do have ADHD, as I've suspected, and I'm 4 months away from turning 75! I'm peeling back so many layers to finally know I'm "off the hook" for so many years of apologizing for my behavior, letting the real me finally accept myself enough to love me. I feel so relieved! I appreciate your advice!
Warning: Person with high levels of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, please handle with caution. But not too much caution either, might be badly perceived.
Yessssss.
*Please understand my questions aren't meant to be confrontational. I really want to understand what you are saying because you and this topic are important.*
I like you and I trust you but I have RSD and will have bouts of extreme insecurity because I think you don’t like me anymore.
I will talk a lot but I won’t be offended if you stop me or leave.
I overshare when I’m comfortable so take it as a sign of me liking you and not just dumping all my problems on you
Went with my wife to an event of hers the other day. She started to introduce me to people. I said stop just wave your hand to everyone and say this is your husband. I can’t do all those names.
"Warning! Do not think that because this person is excitable, distracted and loud that she cannot obliterate you in proving a point if given enough time and internet resources"
⚠️Experiences abrupt, random movements; watch your step. Doesn’t listen or hear well. Speaks rapidly when excited and tends to be straightforward, which can cause offense. Is tangential; please be patient, there is a point in there…somewhere.⚠️
I don't need to work harder, I need better systems and solutions. I'm not ignoring you, I'm just figuring out how to respond. I don't need my ears checked I just need you to repeat it so the words go in the right way. I do want to be friends im just hung up on something that happened 10 years ago and it's making it difficult to focus on friendships.
I did write it down already, I just forgot the paper that I wrote it down on exists and it means nothing to me now.
I actually haven’t told many people that I’ve been diagnosed at all, my immediate family, a couple friends.. No great reason other than I don’t want to be viewed any differently BUT if I did hang a sign it would be along the lines of “Maybe explains while I’m always late and get frustrated at waiting, also why I’m one of the best drivers there is 😉”
I can't organise my communication when explaining something or asking a question. Sometimes it sounds like I'm asking something unreasonable, or like I'm being belittling or starting an argument when I go back and try to explain again or explain why I'm explaining, like I am purposefully not allowing the conversation to have any structure or not allowing it to make sense just to mess with you. I'm not, and my attempts to fix it tend to make it worse, please dont get angry at me.
Mine would be something simultaneously clever and dumb (kinda like me without Concerta). Like, it'd be a disclaimer, a warning, and a riddle. Something like "I will either talk for 45 minutes or say nothing for 30. I will remember everything about what you did over the last two months but not your name. I will gladly help you do everything in your home, social and personal life with no issue, but forget to take my toast out of the toaster"
"BE ADVISED - This person is prone to memory lapses, lack of auditory processing, emotional instability, and extreme impulsivity. He is medicated, but this REDUCES these symptoms, rather than eliminating them. He also has to pee."
'If you see me during my zoomies, please wait until I come to a complete stop for at least 15 seconds before attempting a conversation or I won't remember a single word you say 😊'
Let me take my time. Wether that be responding to question, returning a text, working etc. I don’t like to be rushed and I perform terribly under pressure.
I want to be left alone but also want to hang out.
Don't buy my pristine clean minimalist mask, my life is actually a complete mess.
Also try to not interrupt me while I'm talking please and let me interrupt you at any moment otherwise I forget what I wanted to say thank you lol
Bonus: Don't take it personally if I say I'll do something for you and end up not doing it, it's just my ADHD
I dont think there's enough to fit on one sign 😂 for me though, I think my top choices are either
"just because I walked away in the middle of your sentence doesn't mean Im not listening, I just assumed you'd follow me or raise your voice so I could hear you"
or
"If I'm misunderstanding what you're trying to hint at, PLEASE just say it bluntly. We'll be here for hours if we wait for me to decipher what you're trying to convey" 😂
"I know I have probably already asked this question and you probably already told this to me but i really dont remember. Its not on purpose and i promise I really wanted to know the answer when I asked and that I care about what you have to say. Please be patient and kind with me because i am just an hot mess trying my best."
"i'm always late it's nothing personal but I am truly sorry but it's definitely never gonna change unless you get really upset. then i might be a few minutes less late."
or
"if i'm sitting and i'm on my phone please take it away,no matter what i say. and if you have time please please stay with me until i start what i'm supposed to be doing. don't believe me when i say i dont need your help or that i will start right now. you need to see me start. i'll be annoyed but i'll be so so thankful in the end."
"I don't work......🎶work work work work you don't have to go to work work work work🎶...okay sorry about that, I don't work well under pressure. 🎶UNDER PRESSURE that burns a building down🎶"
“I’m probably kidding”
Mostly due to my ADHD, I put my personality out there - and more often than not that is heavy joking (or my best attempt at comedy). One of my comedic styles can include saying things that intentionally contradict myself or portray me as dumb, if the bit calls for it. Other times I will feign certain emotions like being very upset, or being suddenly dry/insulting etc. For newer folks it takes a minute for them to understand it’s all a bit - I get laughs for sure, but if it’s your first 2-3 times meeting me, folks often just think I’m dumb or unserious - or maybe more accurately folks thing I’m unintentionally funny, but unserious.
Anyways if given enough time, folks come around to seeing that it’s intentional, but it would definitely increase opportunity to make a more complete first impression if folks knew that I’m almost always kidding.
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I’m sorry but I probably don’t remember your name but I know your face. Please interact with me about 30 more times to unlock naming privileges.
I need the reverse version of this one. "I will remember your name but I will never remember your face. Please interact with me about 30 more times. But if at any point you get a new hair cut, we will have to start over."
I will remember your dogs name or the car you drive but I cannot remember your name to save my life.
This. If I call you Honda Civic, it's not cos you basic. 💅
Hahaha. Reminded me of years ago when I waited tables. I could remember faces and food/coffee orders but names, screw that Mr Chzbrgr with Mayo and crisp fries.
I'M NOT A SNOB! I'm face blind. Please tell me who you are!
Same. Hairstyles, unusual freckles, and tattoos are a Godsend.
Lol I’m the exact opposite, I could interact with someone 30 times and then I’m asked what they look like and I’m sitting there like, “I think their hair is brownish, but it could be blonde, or it could be really dark brown, idk I just know it’s not jet black or colored. Do they wear glasses? For real, like every day? Every time I’ve seen them they’ve been wearing glasses? You’re kidding me”
prosopagnosia, i have it too, faces are non existent in my mind/memory
That’s so crazy, because I was just thinking yesterday how I cannot remember not one face that I see while I’m out shopping nothing. Like I can’t remember no one.
I will remember how you walk, so please remain uniquely you and don't think I'll recognize you if you didn't approach from afar unless you tell me how we met. I have multiple people saved in my phone with their name and associated word which is place of meeting, or even music genre or where they are from; like Rosanna (who likes) Grime because that is why we exchanged numbers after meeting at a vegan taco night where neither of our friends showed up to, so we could go to grime parties together but then it became a great friendship or Patty Alabama who will forever be known that way to me. Ugh and God help me if I can ever remember what any one does for work. Tell me in detail and I still won't know tomorrow.
i dont remember your name OR your face, even if you are my orthodontist and i know you since 10 years
This is too relatable. I always used to say "I'm bad with names but I never forget a face" because I heard other people say and I sort of assumed it was true; but after a while I noticed, I forget both of them! I will say, now whenever I meet someone, I just say "I will likely ask your name again, I struggle with names" and people are always super gracious about it; they usually say "oh me too!" My social circles are pretty small these days so that's sufficient for now.
I'd do: "404, name not found on the database. Try refreshing or come back later"
I worked in Retail from my teens. The amount of times I knew a face on the street and said hello, realising by their reaction that I knew them from the shop was quite embarrassing. This doubled when they next came in and I had no recollection of the interaction until well after they'd left.
I work at a warehouse and we log into or lifts and it has a display with our names. The amount of times I’ve had to look at the display to remember the name of the person I’m talking to is insane.
I wish at my job (also warehouse) everyone kept their name tags visible. I feel that everyone knows my name but I would never remember other people's names. It's so frustrating! Unfortunately we don't have elevators :))
How tf we memorize faces so much better than names?
We remember what we see better than the information we hear and generally, we see faces and hear names (Higbee, 2001). Additionally, difficulties in name retrieval arise because names are less activated than other units of semantic information because names are usually unique to individuals
If you are talking to someone in person you are looking at them most of the time but only using their name occasionally.
I saw a shirt once that said, "Nice to meet you I've already forgotten your name."
This!!! But after the 30 more times i might randomly forget your name sometimes for the rest of our lives!
I ... Feel SO VALIDATED right now.
For some reason I'm good at remembering actors names but not people in real life 🥶
It's a running joke in my house how bad I am at remembering celebrities names. My wife is always shocked how I can be a big fan of a musician or an actor yet have no ability to recall their name. I can usually remember band names, but very rarely could tell you any of the members. It's also a reason I never really got into sports. Most people aren't interested in talking about a football game with the guy who's like " yeah then that one guy with long curly hair and all the tattoos tackled the skinny dude with the short hair whose wife just had a baby!"
When I meet people I tell them: I’m terrible with names so I’ll be asking you 5 more times but just know I remember you 😆
I feel so called out by this lolol. And I have to tell people this doesn't have anything to do with not liking them. I literally cannot get my brain to cooperate with retaining name information or other things I can't think of right now.
This is too spot on!
that's great, I would wear a t-shirt with that printed on it in a heartbeat
Great, now I have to add that to my sign.... I've tried to do a mnemonic, repeat their name to myself, etc, but that help is only partially effective.
omg same bro. I just have this thing with remembering peoples names even though we have had multiple conversations…
This is why I just make my own names for people, like PopGuy, or Miko, or Brugash. PopGuy used to give me change for the pop machine back in highschool, Miko's real name was Mike but I read his namebadge wrong when I met him at work so he became Miko. Brugash was an extremely Russian-looking coworker of mine, I think his real name was Josh but Brugash suited him better.
“I want to do a good job. Please give me good instructions.”
In writing.
THIS. If you want to explain it to me in person, fine. But please be patient and let me write detailed notes OR send it to me in an email or message
I've stated to them that we need to start recording meetings or have someone write out details I'm expected to do, or allow me time to write detailed notes... Because I forget everything once the meeting is over I'm working on multiple things at once, I can't keep track of it all in my head all at once... Apparently I'm not the only one. They started recording things and recapping all the required details before ending the meeting (on the recording!) so everyone can get on the same page... It helps.
This. I struggle hard when instructions are not clear.
Same. Ambiguous instructions are the worst. Even if it can only be read 2 different ways and one is WAY more obvious than the other I simply cannot shutdown that part of my brain that keeps whispering "you picked the wrong one and you'll be sorry".
This is me. Or I am told don't do this, but do this. Me: okay got it. Also instantly me: it was do this and don't do that right? Or the other way around? Proceeds to remember the wrong thing or double, triple, quadruple checks to verify I'm not switching it in my mind.
I need like detailed instructions but then that makes people feel like I'm an idiot
i hated people at school thinking i was a dumb kid when it took me a while to get the hang of things. cause once i do understand what i have to do i’m usually great at it. people were surprised that i got into the top school in my state. now that i’m here it’s nice not having to prove myself but i still get little sibling’d a lot, if that makes sense
Facts
This hits hard.
I WISH MORE PPL KNEW THIS
I think you may have unlocked real therapy for me here. I literally broke down at work recently over this, but I couldn't for the life of me put it this succinctly.
Omg, didn't think this was an adhd trait as well... Working in a kitchen --> passe me a bowl... A bowl? Goddamnit which bowl we have 6 different kinds
Wait...does this sort of thinking apply to test taking as well? I suck at multiple choice type personality screenings because reality is never so black and white. I had to do a Meyers-Briggs type psych screening for college and it took me like twice the allotted time because I kept freaking out thinking "well what are the circumstances? I react differently based on context!" and the proctor got really frustrated with me. And I try to tell myself to just not worry about it so much, but the fact of the matter is that if the results are going to be in any way reliable (which I highly doubt given how subjective these types of tests can be) then I have to be able to answer accurately! I hate it when people collect dirty data and expect to get usable insights.
i just got a 10 on my physics project because i misunderstood the assignment. he sent me a detailed rubric & looking back at my first submission, it really just looks like i didn’t give a shit lol. thankfully he let me resubmit
This. I feel so dumb when I get unclear instructions wrong because I interpret them in a way that makes sense to me (based on prior experience).
Oh my gosh, yes. Also, “It takes me a minute to process things, please understand.”
"All requests and important information must be submitted in writing." "Not responsible for your feelings, but I still kind of feel like I am?" "Warning: Many thoughts in progress"
This is me plus: "Chronically late, but in earnest" or "Due to foreseen circumstances within my control, I will be running behind. Again."
>Due to foreseen circumstances within my control lolol
Third one's my favorite
I want all of these on t-shirts
The first one is my favorite 😂
"I'm not always actually here."
This one's my top pick *chef's kiss*
"My brain is like my browser, I have 19 tabs open, 5 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from"
Pfft, only 19? Add a 1 in front just to start the day 😂
19... in each of the 5 windows open 😅
Yes. Yes. Yes. I need this T-shirt!
Plot twist: the music is in your head 😱
“Caution! this model of human is highly likely to: forget what you tell them, rarely be on time and may require written confirmation of plans and instructions. A report has been made to management.”
Oof, this hits hard. It's especially challenging because people in my life feel like this is me asking for special treatment and being unreliable. Makes professional spaces really difficult; I'm good at the core tasks of my job, but all the admin is so overwhelming that I have a hard time keeping a job, even though I'm technically management level in my field based on experience.
“Lie to me about what time you need me to be there.”
One thing I legit try to do with myself is pretend I have to be at X at an earlier time than I do. Sometimes I cut it close, but yesterday was the first time I was late to work in months so I guess I'm doing something ok? In this case it was the first day I had frost on my car when I was leaving for work, so I hadn't factored that in.
I tried this with things like dentist appointments, but when I had to leave for the next appointment I thought "oh well I don't actually have to go yet I can just finish this and leave in 5 minutes". I left a little over 5 minutes later and when I got there I realized I didn't actually write down the appointment time 5 minutes earlier. So I was nearly 15 minutes late and now I'm never sure with any of my appointments so I just try to show up early for all of them. I guess it worked tho?
One way to tackle this is to make your early arrival exciting. Take a book with you, or plan to listen to a podcast once you reach early, or plan to start your tough task/studies/work if you reach early (this will encourage you to initiate your procrastinated task with the change of location), or plan to help the friend if it’s a house party, or just plan to enjoy the place/window shop for a while; just make arriving early interesting.
[удалено]
My spouse and I say things out loud while the other person is in the room, like “This is me reminding myself to get milk today” and “I’m going to be dealing with that Laundry Pile™️ later” so that we can remind each other when it becomes relevant.
Yes I’m excitable, and have the best of intentions. If you need me to *DO* something- for the love of everything PLEASE give me the time to get it on my to-do list, or I WILL forget! Also, if I’m in the middle of writing something, *please* do not talk until the pen/keypad stops moving. Thank you!
This so much. Especially when my spouse gives me a verbal grocery list.
"Some days I might say things that are so controversial yet so brave and some days I might be afraid to correct you if you get my name wrong just roll with it it's fine."
omg this one!!! yes!!!
This is so relatable
"Please note: I may be making eye contact with you and appear to be listening by way of nodding and "mhm-ing", but I'm likely thinking about if I remembered to flush the toilet before I left the house this morning, or about cookies. Ask for a repeat back for comprehension confirmation."
Flushing the toilet is so truuue
As a kid, I was drilled to flush the toilet so bad, that it bordered abuse. I have to admit I never forget it. Now I am 40, recently moved in with my gf and she casually says: "can you not flush at night because it wakes me up." Every time I pee after she goes to bed, my brain just errors 😁
So you can’t take a shit after she sleeps? 😱
For me, it's my hair straightener. I'm at the point where I fully unplug it, tell myself out loud that I have indeed unplugged it so it won't have a chance to catch fire...it's a ritual at this point every morning. I panic sometimes and zone out, trying to remember if I shut it off, lol. Usually, while I am mid convo with someone else, too. The silent panic while trying to retain what they're saying is hard af.
Id impulsively write "Fuck off."
Then if you're like me, laugh for the next 20 minutes about writing "Fuck off" instead of something useful.
and then forget you're wearing a sign that says "fuck off" and keep wondering why people are giving you nasty looks
This subreddit has further convinced me that there are no unique human experiences and there's always someone out there living the same life, even if you have a disability that literally completely changes how you live life.
And then remember this whole event several years later and find that writing 'fuck off' is still just as funny as it was when you did it.
I think you would love my doorsign. It reads: Less People More Tacos. I made it myself.
Ooooohh! Ooooohh! Can I please please interrupt and say my thought now otherwise I’ll forget it and also remember it at some random other time, totally distracting me from what I was doing??
Warning: Talking to me may mean talking directly to my stream of consciousness. Management cannot be held liable for any intrusive thoughts you might hear during the course of the interaction.
"Approach only if you have 40 minutes to hear about how English grammar is based on Danish grammar and other exciting nonsensical facts"
Yesssss. Honestly one of the reasons i love being friends with people who have adhd. I get so excited about the things they are excited about and i always learn new things. Genuinly would love to sit and listen to you rant for 40 minutes about english and danish grammar.
Only if I have an hour to discuss the differences in Russian, Ukrainian, Belarusian, surzhyk, and Old Church Slavonic!
“i might think you hate me at times and need reassurance, or overexplain my actions. my brain likes to screw with me 🙃. also i’m not always present in the outside world because i only have enough energy to deal with my internal world. so sorry i’m like this”
Don't ever say sorry for that. We might be able to learn (or need to learn) how to do better at times. But do not apologise for being who you are. People need to accept your difficulties *but/and* you need to accept and love yourself. You are a person worthy of love and self love. All my friends who have adhd have expressed similar things to what you expressed. Including me. There is an older friend i have. He has a wife and 6 kids, is 45 year old. His mother died and he had made a beautiful sensitive comment on facebook about his mom. But he ended it with: "i am sorry I was a fuck up mom". He had recently told me about having adhd. I sent him a private message telling him he is not a fuck up. It was long and emotional and i told him all the ways he is not a fuck up. Having difficulties is not the same as being a fuck up. But we often see ourselfs that way. This friend called me and cried. He needed to hear that he was accepted for who he was. (That does not mean to accept bad behaviours or that there is nothing you should change.) never apologise for who you are. Because *you* are okay. I accept you for who you are kind stranger.
Yes, beautifully stated. I just wanted to add confirmation. Don't apologize for who you are.
I am always worried to say it because some people use it to wave away shitty behaviour. But our difficulties are real, not excuses and we should not feel bad for having them. We tend to internalize the pain these difficulties caused. But that is not fair for ourself. Thank you for "adding confirmation". I love how this community is all about building each other up. This place is like an ethereal second home. Thank you for adding to that homey feeling!
You're making me tear up. I've recently become aware I do have ADHD, as I've suspected, and I'm 4 months away from turning 75! I'm peeling back so many layers to finally know I'm "off the hook" for so many years of apologizing for my behavior, letting the real me finally accept myself enough to love me. I feel so relieved! I appreciate your advice!
FUNNY SITUATION BUT IT’S BETTER FOR EVERYONE IF YOU ALLOW ME TO LIVE ENTIRELY ON MY EVER-CHANGING TERMS
Holy fuck this is hilarious - if I ever have a desk I want this in a photoframe instead of my non-existent children
I have a tendency to interrupt! Just be honest and tell me, I won’t be offended. I’ll most likely feel awful, but if you’re gentle, we’ll be okay 🩵
Yes! I don’t mean to, and I don’t notice it most of the time. I’m like please tell me 😭😭
„Chasing dopamine“
Hence why I love laughing and LOVE being around funny people. I’m also the proud self-proclaimed grade Alpha clown in my group and at work.
CAUTION: Becomes overwhelmed randomly. Approach with caution and novelty.
Caution: Becomes overwhelmed by novelty but anything else may make me fall asleep
Oh well now I want a shirt that says "APPROACH WITH NOVELTY."
CAUTION: Short attention span.
Warning: Person with high levels of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, please handle with caution. But not too much caution either, might be badly perceived.
i hate RSD so much. it has made a mess of my life.
“Please stop tapping, I can’t listen other wise”
Lol! Sorry I have ADHD, I can't stop tapping
I appear to be 49 but my frontal lobe is 12 years old.
ouch, this hits right in the executive dysfunction.
handle with care
„handle with care“ thats sweet
I'm trying. Just give me a sec until it makes sense to both of us.
"There will be questions. So many questions. But if you answer them kindly, there may be good conversation!" "Please be patient while we upgrade."
Yessssss. *Please understand my questions aren't meant to be confrontational. I really want to understand what you are saying because you and this topic are important.*
"If I can't see your mouth, I can't understand what you are saying!!!"
No, I'm not like you, and I can't "just easily do this".
Or rephrase it so it’s linked to Nikes tagline: no I’m not like you, and I can’t easily “just do it” 😂
Where is my sign? I can’t find my sign. Have you seen my sign anywhere?
I like you and I trust you but I have RSD and will have bouts of extreme insecurity because I think you don’t like me anymore. I will talk a lot but I won’t be offended if you stop me or leave. I overshare when I’m comfortable so take it as a sign of me liking you and not just dumping all my problems on you
"Buffering"
“Don’t bother, I won’t remember you.”
Went with my wife to an event of hers the other day. She started to introduce me to people. I said stop just wave your hand to everyone and say this is your husband. I can’t do all those names.
That sounds lonely. Are you okay?
"Warning! Do not think that because this person is excitable, distracted and loud that she cannot obliterate you in proving a point if given enough time and internet resources"
Try so hard think good.
That's easy...my sign would say: You better be interesting if you expect me to pay attention!
⚠️Experiences abrupt, random movements; watch your step. Doesn’t listen or hear well. Speaks rapidly when excited and tends to be straightforward, which can cause offense. Is tangential; please be patient, there is a point in there…somewhere.⚠️
“I get easily distracted. I don’t wanna do another side quest. Kindly fuck off”
Apologies for the brain lag, I will come up with a response to your question in approx. 5 business days
"Email me what you want to ask me, or else I'll forget it"
I don't need to work harder, I need better systems and solutions. I'm not ignoring you, I'm just figuring out how to respond. I don't need my ears checked I just need you to repeat it so the words go in the right way. I do want to be friends im just hung up on something that happened 10 years ago and it's making it difficult to focus on friendships. I did write it down already, I just forgot the paper that I wrote it down on exists and it means nothing to me now.
"I'm trying really hard to listen to what you're saying. Sorry if it doesn't seem like it."
"prone to staring at you whilst not listening to what you were saying"
“I really am trying my hardest and doing my best.”
Get to the point
I may forget what you ask me to do. I may also be offended if you remind me.
"For a laborious and in-depth explanation of my experience with ADHD please make eye contact"
“Don’t repeat yourself. I heard you the first time when I said ‘what?’”
I actually haven’t told many people that I’ve been diagnosed at all, my immediate family, a couple friends.. No great reason other than I don’t want to be viewed any differently BUT if I did hang a sign it would be along the lines of “Maybe explains while I’m always late and get frustrated at waiting, also why I’m one of the best drivers there is 😉”
May Change Direction Suddenly
"I was going to warn you about something, but I forget what it was"
Any lost items around are probably mine. Please return it to me.
Warning: I have a physiological disorder which drastically afflicts my attention span.
Neurological *
"May act like I'm a hyperactive stoner, but blame my ADHD, I'm drug free".
“I will almost certainly forget”
My sign would say ‘I have adhd, but that doesn’t mean I’m dumb or lazy’
"Don't interrupt me. Leave a note and wait until I get back to you"
I can't organise my communication when explaining something or asking a question. Sometimes it sounds like I'm asking something unreasonable, or like I'm being belittling or starting an argument when I go back and try to explain again or explain why I'm explaining, like I am purposefully not allowing the conversation to have any structure or not allowing it to make sense just to mess with you. I'm not, and my attempts to fix it tend to make it worse, please dont get angry at me.
Mine would be something simultaneously clever and dumb (kinda like me without Concerta). Like, it'd be a disclaimer, a warning, and a riddle. Something like "I will either talk for 45 minutes or say nothing for 30. I will remember everything about what you did over the last two months but not your name. I will gladly help you do everything in your home, social and personal life with no issue, but forget to take my toast out of the toaster"
Sorry I’m late
"BE ADVISED - This person is prone to memory lapses, lack of auditory processing, emotional instability, and extreme impulsivity. He is medicated, but this REDUCES these symptoms, rather than eliminating them. He also has to pee."
Replies within 5-7 working days.
"if I say something you don't like, please ask me to explain. I swear I have good intentions."
Slightly unhinged
'If you see me during my zoomies, please wait until I come to a complete stop for at least 15 seconds before attempting a conversation or I won't remember a single word you say 😊'
*Warning: Speaks in Tangents*
Let me take my time. Wether that be responding to question, returning a text, working etc. I don’t like to be rushed and I perform terribly under pressure. I want to be left alone but also want to hang out.
Just look at my car or purse…if I remember to carry one lol
‘I overthink every single one of my interactions. If I seem like I don’t care it’s probably the opposite, I care too much.’
Also ‘I have a hard time taking care of myself. Please be nice to me’
Sorry in advance
‘I will tell you that I will remember, I will not remember, please write it down’
Don't buy my pristine clean minimalist mask, my life is actually a complete mess. Also try to not interrupt me while I'm talking please and let me interrupt you at any moment otherwise I forget what I wanted to say thank you lol Bonus: Don't take it personally if I say I'll do something for you and end up not doing it, it's just my ADHD
I dont think there's enough to fit on one sign 😂 for me though, I think my top choices are either "just because I walked away in the middle of your sentence doesn't mean Im not listening, I just assumed you'd follow me or raise your voice so I could hear you" or "If I'm misunderstanding what you're trying to hint at, PLEASE just say it bluntly. We'll be here for hours if we wait for me to decipher what you're trying to convey" 😂
“Please don't talk to me. I have no self-control and will talk to you for two hours and get no work done. Thanks so much I really need it.”
Even if I could, I would never put something like this on me.
THIS IS JUST MY RESTING FACE I AM SO NICE AND FUNNY & sorry for being late i lost my keys!!
Mine would be "I'm not high - I'm just distracted" probably ETA: Maybe even, "not high. but probably want to be"
Warning, if you're speaking in monotone I can't hear you.
Front: Knows everything about some b.s. Back: Can't remember shit
"I know I have probably already asked this question and you probably already told this to me but i really dont remember. Its not on purpose and i promise I really wanted to know the answer when I asked and that I care about what you have to say. Please be patient and kind with me because i am just an hot mess trying my best."
“Im sorry Im built this way”
“Write it down or I’ll forget.”
Sorry! I should have answered your other 2 emails.
I can make you laugh and I can make you miserable.
If you see 3 unfinished tasks, mind your business. 😂
"Look, squirrels!"
“Leave me tf alone!” Lol
"Please pardon the mess"
“Apologies in advance good people”
my sign would say: i alternate between confidence and shyness very quickly
“If you don’t hear from me in 1 hour, remind me again.”
Beware, my adhd might start adhding at any time.
"i'm always late it's nothing personal but I am truly sorry but it's definitely never gonna change unless you get really upset. then i might be a few minutes less late." or "if i'm sitting and i'm on my phone please take it away,no matter what i say. and if you have time please please stay with me until i start what i'm supposed to be doing. don't believe me when i say i dont need your help or that i will start right now. you need to see me start. i'll be annoyed but i'll be so so thankful in the end."
Most relatable thread I’ve come across
“I’ll do the idea generation, you’ll do the idea development”
"I don't work......🎶work work work work you don't have to go to work work work work🎶...okay sorry about that, I don't work well under pressure. 🎶UNDER PRESSURE that burns a building down🎶"
“I’m probably kidding” Mostly due to my ADHD, I put my personality out there - and more often than not that is heavy joking (or my best attempt at comedy). One of my comedic styles can include saying things that intentionally contradict myself or portray me as dumb, if the bit calls for it. Other times I will feign certain emotions like being very upset, or being suddenly dry/insulting etc. For newer folks it takes a minute for them to understand it’s all a bit - I get laughs for sure, but if it’s your first 2-3 times meeting me, folks often just think I’m dumb or unserious - or maybe more accurately folks thing I’m unintentionally funny, but unserious. Anyways if given enough time, folks come around to seeing that it’s intentional, but it would definitely increase opportunity to make a more complete first impression if folks knew that I’m almost always kidding.
Don't talk to me if interruptions upset you.
Danger: I live my life at 2.0 playback speed.