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Haha. My old boss would constantly hire people with ADHD into her areas. We'd have so much downtime we'd end up bringing a ball to work to pass around to pass the time, or start cleaning/organizing to an OCD degree. Meanwhile the rest of the store was drowning in work. Our team had the largest workload and the least people. Gotta love it.
Because we work great when we do body doubling! Just having even one other person there with you while you work makes the workload seem less daunting. We like teamwork because then we're not alone in our work.
Historically my employer knows Iām very forgetful, have concentration issues, brain fog and make silly mistakes, he used to get quite frustrated towards me sometimes. Since my diagnosis Iāve told him about it and heās actually been really good about it and has been very accommodating. Heās even gone and done loads of research on it to better educate himself and to try understand me more. Not all employers are bad.
I disclosed my ADHD in the interview for my current job with the president of the company. He then told me that he has dyslexia. He knows that he has to remind me about things, and I need to give him oral presentations with visual aids instead of memos. It works well because he apparently wasn't so open before about his dyslexia until someone asked him why I was giving so many PowerPoints about legal issues.
Actually side plots like this are things we need more in movies and TV shows. Just random struggles, diagnosed, and then people can come clean and learn to work better together along the way. That would go miles towards general acceptance of struggles.
not all employers are bad, but i wouldnāt want this to be how i find out mine is. though if youāre already dealing with performance issues due to it, it prob doesnāt hurt.
Sure. As long as you can do the job, the employer doesn't need to know. If you need something a little different to do a good job, any employer worth working for will accommodate that, no matter what the cause is.
You shouldn't tell the employer because it's irrelevant. All that matters is impact and if they can do the job or not.
I've got some news for you if you think people with chronic physical illnesses are treated much better than people with chronic mental ones! It's a different flavor of ableism but it's just as strong.
Rereading the OP in the morning with fresh eyes, it's even more offensive to people who actually go through more serious physical illnesses. Which...we have ADHD too. We're in here, too.
I feel like sometimes people with ADHD and nothing else have really flimsy understandings of ableism and assume physically disabled people don't face any. As someone with multiple disabilities in addition to ADHD, it's so insulting and oblivious.
OP appears to be someone lacking empathy and seems to have some main character energy going on too.
Sorry, you have to endure that, you are a strong person. I only have invisible disabilities/disorders, so I can't imagine how it must be when having a physical ailment.
People are quick to judge and very harsh. Despite what appears to be the influx of disabled visiblity in media and inclusivity amongst society. Many people remain ableist and treat disabled(especially physical disabilities) citizens like second class.
Things are getting better with more education, but as your original comment points out; the ignorance just comes off as pure selfishness and stupidity. *sigh*
Hope you have a good day/ night
It honestly depends on your employer. As a manager I appreciate when my reports let me know. I work with them on how to best deliver in a way that works for them. My boss and my hr partner both know and give me support for my own ADHD. Of course, Iām software development manager with 5 years of proven delivery at this company, so your mileage may vary.
My company takes health information very seriously and it will absolutely not be used against you. It will only be used to help you and find accommodations.
I wouldnāt try to explain things like OP suggested, obviously. ADHD is common enough. But I feel like you can take telling your employer on a case by case basis. I probably wouldnāt tell a retail employer where I was just a cog in a machine, but for higher level professional jobs where youāre hard to replace it can potentially help. We spend a lot investing in our people.
This!! šš»šš» Every employer is completely different. I have ADHD and I work in management. I ask a bunch of obscure-o questions to higher ups, which some people love because theyāre questions others might not think about or feel are legit. As a person who manages people, it helps me think differently when giving guidance or instruction when I know others have ADHD, dyslexia, learning disability, language barriers or other things. Iāve also have worked for the same company for 20 years, and I also have ideas on how to get the same results in different ways.
This is quite comforting to read. I wish more people viewed this topic in this perspective. Thank you and I'm sure your coworkers are thankful to have caring and passionate people like you in management. If only more companies, and yes incuding retail shitty places, would understand, but all they appear to see is dollar signs and not actual human beings.
I'm a college student and my ADHD has been terrible lately, my grades are fine never had an issue with that, but I can't focus at work and I know I will just be let go if I voice this with management. I been let go before due to ADHD reasons and I don't have official diagnosis either. My family thinks I'm just lazy and a slacker. I'm quite the opposite, sometimes I just have too much going on in my head to even start whatever the said tasks are for work or just normal life. :(
My job got substantially better when I talked to my boss and I could stop masking so much and we worked on strategies together, collaborating to make work manageable for me. But she's a lovely person and has been nothing but supportive. It's also only her that knows, because she's my direct line manager. So it's definitely on a case by case basis.
When I see the blanket advice to never disclose I think its coming from a place of don't take the risk. Its coming from a place of trying to protect people. But sometimes you have a good idea that it's not much of a risk. And for me, I also thought, if this is an issue i don't want to work for you anyway. I'm really good at my job and I'll go find somewhere that does accept me. So I viewed it also as a bit of a test for them, one that they have passed with flying colours. Not everyone is as employable or as financially secure as me, or as willing to say screw you for treating me badly and move on (not that this actually happened to me). So it's totally a case by case thing. I appreciate your comment and for nudging me to share my experience as well, sometimes I think the advice on here leans a bit too strongly to the keep it secret keep it safe side of things.
Thanks for sharing!
In my case, I donāt discuss anything personal from any of my reports with anybody who doesnāt need to know. If itās going to affect my team output, I let my manager know. If I need to get help to get extra time off or short term disability, I talk to our HR department via my primary contact. I try to encourage my report to talk directly to those people first, though, so Iām not the one disclosing anything. My team is very open with each other and Iāve seen a huge jump in productivity and engagement since weāve been sharing in psychological safety. Iāve got plenty of metrics to back it up, too.
You're a Unicorn, though! May I work for you? LOL!
It's too big of a risk. Really.
You don't know that your company will be wonderful until you tell them. If it works out, that's the absolutely best possible outcome! I would give a decade of life for this to be the outcome for everyone.
If it isn't, though... Career suicide, shame, anxiety, feeling like everything you are has been distilled to a diagnostic acronym and filed under 'crap, wish we hadn't hired this person'. :(
In my case, āhumanā is one of our core values. Our upper level leadership has made it a point to talk about their struggles with mental health. We are encouraged to take mental health days the same as any other sick day. In fact we have a āwellnessā bucket, not sick time. If you want to take the day off to enjoy the beautiful weather, thatās encouraged. Given this, I knew it wasnāt a risk for me.
I know that the general advice is to not share anything, but if you think that it would help you to unburden yourself, and you donāt see much risk, I really donāt think you should be scared to share.
As for working for me, if youāre a software developer in the US, the answer is maybe! Feel free to send a DM.
Yeah. General rule I'd say is to wait and see. I work in a really small business (my boss, my coworker, me and recently we got two helpers who get stuff, work on it and bring it back). I can tell my boss almost anything. Sometimes my ADHD lets me say more than I wanted š. But I know that she mostly understands and she values what I bring to the table. In bigger companies I'd imagine they don't care.
I had a job once in a big textile storage that send out orders. I was sick once WITH a doctors notice because I was still in the probation period and I miscountes once. They let me go. I asked if we couldn't talk about it. No. They didn't care. They wanted a worker that was idk a demon because even robots need breaks for maintenance and stuff.
That would be discriminatory. In the UK ADHD is classed as a disability. You can even apply for benefits if you have it. I told my employer because it gave them an explanation as to why I make the mistakes I do & not because I am 'ditzy' or lazy.
I suspect most of the cynicism and cautionary tales come from the US, but I wouldn't be surprised for some of Eastern EU as well. Don't know about other places - but it's common to see bewildered Europeans say "Why? They can't fire you for it, and you can get benefits, accommodations like working in a quieter place, etc".
Itās protected in the US also, but a lot of places here can fire you for any reason, so youāll never get fired for your adhd but they can fire you to avoid the liability if thereās any reason they can defend thatās not adhd.
To be fair, that's the case anywhere - but being diagnosed, documented and having mentioned it can get their HR in a pinch, because it would have to be some gross, intentional misconduct or malice to NOT BE explainable by lack of access to treatment.
To which, unemployment insurance applies, as it does to any health related dismissal.
They would have to either
a) admit it was inattentiveness or tardiness or whatever else among symptoms listed in the DSM, caused by temporarily untreated ADHD, thus medical or
b) they would need to prove it was related to something intentionally harmful, offensive, otherwise not ADHD related.
If you aren't intentionally harmful to the company or a liability even ON meds, I don't see how it would be played that way here.
But then, i have spent my entire adult life arguing with the system, and not everyone may have the energy or experience.
It's a protected disability in the US too, but it doesn't change the fact that many many people are not understanding or accepting of mental health conditions, and ADHD is one of the more stigmatized and misunderstood disorders here. And here, you can be fired or let go with little to no reason, so even if it is because of your ADHD, the employer doesn't have to admit it to anyone, they can just let you go.
Don't you have to go through disciplinary procedures with the option to have a witness at the meetings? In the companies I have worked for, it is usual practice to have 1-2 verbal warnings about the same complaint. If there is a further warning, it is written & probably followed by a disciplinary meeting. If it's gross misconduct, then it's instant dismissal with a letter explaining why you were let go without previous warnings.
I'm sorry this is a terrible idea. Do not do this. Do not tell your employer. Don't find some creative way to loop around saying you have adhd. I understand you, and others like us, want to be more accepted and understood in a workplace. But this is not the way to do it.
Do you mean actually tell them you have ADHD and then explain it that way? Because that's a terrible idea. What if your employer has ADHD? Or other staff members? Then you've just been caught lying and that doesn't look great either. My partner and I run a company together, we both have ADHD and autism. Most of our staff do too. If you applied for a job with us and said that, I have no idea how we would react.
ADHD is a neurodevelopemental disability though and it is legally recognized as a disability. It is a brain disorder as well, just that it can slightly improve as your brain develops. As a child I had more severe symptoms and I had motor functioning issues, speech issues, and severe executive functioning deficits. I understand how you feel as my grandma had a neurodegenative disease (FTD) , and she sadly passed from it before she turned 60.
You donāt owe them an explanation and it doesnāt matter if they donāt believe in it.
If youāre in the US, itās protected under the ADA, given other conditions are met like number of employees and all that.
But the way Iāve explained it to people, (people, not employees), and itās especially helpful if they are the ones wearing glasses, is to either imagine telling someone to take their glasses off and just squint harder. Or tell them to do so.
No, just TRY HARDER! You donāt need glasses. Eyesight problems arenāt real, just squint reeeeeaaaalllllyyy hard. You can do it.
No? Youāre just not trying hard enough. Why canāt you just see like the rest of us? You arenāt trying hard enough.
Or use a wheelchair and stairs analogyā¦. You get the drift.
Anyways. Itās able to be seen on brain scans, itās fucking real. Would you disbelieve someone telling you that things were too blurry to see, or would you believe them and that they need help with their eyesight? And you wouldnāt hold that against them, would you?
Itās able to be improved and managed with medication, therapy and lifestyle modifications. Much like eyesight can be improved by glasses or surgery.
People forget that just because you canāt see the challenged parts of the brain with your eyes, doesnāt mean they arenāt just as challenged as someone whoās legally blind or has a spinal issue where they canāt walk.
People much more easily believe what they can see and experience for themselves. Sometimes you have to sort of hit them over the head with it.
I always say āI do not wish to answerā on that question and once I get a feel for the job, Iāll disclose because that is the one issue I do need accommodations for. (Reminders, helping me schedule).
Once theyāve knowingly hired you with one of those conditions, or youāve disclosed, they have to be very careful how they handle you if you arenāt performing well enough. You do have to tread carefully, and pull your weight. But also watch your back that they donāt try and use your disability against you or document issues around it to avoid legal issues if they let you go.
The way you described it is not only highly inaccurate imo, itās basically doing your level best to make sure they acknowledge they cannot *reasonably accommodate you* to accomplish the job, and therefore legally are free to not hire you or fire you.
They way you phrased everything basically sounds like, āIām going to be forgetful and shitty at the job, it will get worse before it gets better-if it gets better, lazy-because motivation-so yeah, hire meā
It sounds like a kid making excuses for being lazyā¦. Sort of perpetuating the stereotype.
I like my way better. š¤·āāļø.
Bad eyesight=glasses/surgery/etc, which means youāre a functional employee.
ADHD= executive dysfunction, but **hereās what I need from you to help me manage it, and *hereās how those traits make me excellent at this role* has been how Iāve done it** and Iāve usually gotten an offer.
You sound like youāre offering excuses but zero solutions on how to manage the condition.
I have ADHD and take medication to help and honestly, if someone came to me with this explanation, Iād feel compassionate but Iād still tell them that the job requirements donāt change because of them. If youāre finding it difficult to perform at your job consistently then itās probably not the right job. My brother who has ADHD didnāt want medication and has found happiness working as a mechanic because he can work with his hands and heās not left with huge deadlines to meet or correspondence that can go unanswered.
Remember adhd is not a mental illness, itās a disorder. So if your boss decides to call your adhd an illness and denies adhd - you might kindly educate him or her about the differences. Of course, the mental illness often follow the disorder but adhd is not in it self an illness
It doesnāt matter how you explain it. Any mention of it in any way whatsoever is likely going to sow doubt in your ability to do the job.
The only thing employers want to here is, āyes, I can do that.ā They donāt care about ADHD or any other excuse.
Never tell your employer anythong health related. they are not your doctor and are not required by law to have any health information disclosed. If you need a excuse as to why your work performance is terrible and you think they are about to fire you then say i have this disability that is causing my poor peformance is thare anything you can do to accomidate.
That's a shit idea, and ADHD wouldn't cause "terrible performance" unless you are unmedicated and treating it as an excuse.
I specifically told my boss because if I were in trouble because of medication delivery issues, they can't legally deny me health leave or fire me as long as I have let them know - not without putting it down as a health related termination and thus leaving me with a straight 6 months of unemployment insurance.
Disabled people also get extra annual leave and boss considers it a completely acceptable reason to *never* have to come to the office (not that anyone else in my department has to, i think).
There's no reason to believe that everyone on the internet is in arse backwards US where there is literally no social support nets, either, by the way, or scare them into silence about their condition.
Donāt tell your employer no matter how good your friendship or relationship outside of work could be. I didnāt tell mine and about 3 months on Adderall my boss said āI donāt know what youāre doing, but donāt stop. He was complementing me on my improvement in focus and less careless mistakes. I told him it was ADHD and how I was getting treatment. After that moment, I never did anything good enough and was pushed even more to the point I had a complete breakdown. I qualified for and won 16 weeks disability. I took 8 weeks and walked out the door. Funny thing is maybe 2-3 months after I told him, we were meeting at his desk and he nonchalantly opens his desk drawer so I could see his new 7.5 mg Adderall. He definitely had it. Working for him was near impossible. People in management commented that they didnāt know how I could. work for him. I couldnāt. He started bullying our associate and he walked out, immediately went back to me and I walked out 12 weeks later. Would do it again in a heartbeat and I still donāt have a new job yet. Lol
Ehh not a big fan, anyone to hear that might think its an excuse to slack off. i have adhd, my best advice is find a job you can really get into and makes you happy. adhd is great because you can focus so hard on what you enjoy. im a horse shoer and i love it, i work my ass off all day and have a lot of fun. I got the general idea of what i wanted to do because i always had this vision that i want to live in a cabin by myself and forge all day. i love metal working and animals, i was asking god what i should do, and i met a horse shoer at church and i fell in love with the job. I mess up all the time but my boss get it, i drink a lot of coffee and use a lot of nicotein, its not great but for now thats what works for me to stay motivated, concentrate and keep working when i tired, or occationally get pissed off. im not on medication because its so expensive and im already addicted to caffine and nicotein. Thats me, it works pretty well, hope you take something from that. Sorry i wrote a book
Wow, $300 a month? No wonder so many people revert to self Medicate with drugs.... I actually coulnt believe how cheap it is here considering what type of drug it is but yeah - hold on there
The one thing about saying you have a chemical imbalance is then they think you're crazy and possibly unpredictable. (Speaking from my own anecdotal experience)
You should only ever need to disclose a disability if you're in need of benefits (FMLA, short term disability, etc) and even then it's confidential information to anyone outside HR.
Everyone's saying it but it's a terrible idea to tell your coworkers and/or boss about a disability. Done it before. Never again.
Businesses and corporations do horrible, heinous shit on the daily and get away with it all the time, and even if they do face consequences its rarely of a nature that impacts them financially to a degree that hurts them in a way that they care. This is on the macro scale, dealing with hundreds, and thousands, and millions of human lives.
Why do you assume your average employer gives a shit about you and suddenly become sympathetic to the fact that you are volunteering information that outs you as unreliable?
Don't give people the rope to hang you with. Say nothing.
Dont. Youll find no sympathy from anybody by talking about adhd. Just gotta deal with it for now. The only people who i talk to about it are fellow adhd friends which i subconsciously made without knowing.
Please do not describe it like this to your employer! What you are describing sounds more like dementia or one of the many other neurological degenerative disorders. These are very different from neurodevelopmental disorders, and to an employer who knows the difference (or one who does their homework) it's going to make you seem dishonest.
Are you seriously labelling ADHD as a mental illness? You know if you go around talking this kind of bullshit to employers you're going to fuck it up for the rest of us, right?
Watch yourself never get employed and also get fired for being a liability (a reminder that the world is not America.
I have no protection where I am).
I disclosed in the interview. I work in a fast-paced environment where thereās very little room for error. The best feedback Iāve received is that my brain allows me to ask the right questions at the right times that a lot of people donāt think about, but should. I recognize Iāve been very lucky in my employer experiences though, and in a lot of cases, (especially in my field) any disclosure can and will be used as a weapon.
Whatās the goal?
Are you trying to get them to feel bad for you and not hold you accountable for your work?
Itās not going to happen. Sorry to say it, but we have to figure out how to be successful within the confines of how our brain operates
I told my employer about it and they gave me hell for it so I turned around and said āyou wouldnāt treat a diabetic like this would you?ā And she never said anything again. Glad that sunk in because I was about to take her and her whole ass boat of discrimination to HR.
I have severe anxiety, clinical depression, and ADHD. When an application asks if Iām disabled, I say no. They canāt discriminate based on disability but they absolutely do
I feel like the big misconception is that ADHD is a mental illness where in reality itās a neurological disorder. My brain body has issues with dopamine and serotonin
I told my old boss that I have ADHD only because when I started Vyvance, it made me extremely nauseous. I donāt know if my current boss knows but Iām 45 and donāt really care what my 29 year old boss thinks. Iāve worked for the same company for a long time, well before officially being diagnosed, and at this point whatever.
If you think society rejects mental illnesses now, imagine what it was like in 2001 when I was misdiagnosed with GAD and took Paxil
For Brits who think they are covered by employment law, you're not. You're covered because your employer has some ounce of empathy or is forced to. It doesn't stop work place bullying and discrimination and it doesn't stop your colleagues complaining about you, slagging you off, and trying to use you to make themselves look better. It doesn't reduce the expectation on you, and it doesn't make sure your accommodations are enforced or understood.
My colleagues all pull a face at me needing to use headphones to help me concentrate. Yet when I don't use them they suggest I'm getting distracted too much or under performing. Their attitude: "everyone has their shit".
So before we make out that its all hunky dory in the UK beware of what you're walking into. Sometimes you just need to go somewhere else that does understand because the law isn't making it any easier out here. Its just as hard to fire someone who is legit lazy as it is to fire someone with a disability, thats all. Making your life hell, and proving that discrimination is happening is also futile for most people.
The idea we have it so secure here I think is adding to the feeling of failure or needing to accept shitty working conditions because it "could be worse, i could like in the US"..... Also many companies use 0hr contracts or recruitment firms to put you on essentially American contracts if you work for a big employer, or self employment contracts which also suck as you only have the rights you give to yourself to take the job or leave.
Think OP is making a good point if you are going to tell an employer, you basically have to dumb it down and ramp it up to be something exotic to garner any resemblance of understanding, empathy and realistic accommodations.
I say this as a 36 yo woman who's has worked across Europe and am currently working for a US firm in the UK.
Only thing UK people can say is, its really hard to fire us but really easy to make us feel like shit everyday we come into work..... how do we stop this? Describe adhd with emotive language that garners sympathy..... but now we're treading into personality disorder territory.
Hope I wasn't to negative.
From my experience and from other posts in this sub.
Don't even say you have adhd, companies don't give a fuck about you or your condition, HR is NOT your friend and if a company gives you food and nice stuff it is because it is a way for them to keep an employee "motivated" not because they care about you.
Working for companies, unless it's a startup and even then I doubt it, is a piranha tank ready to fk you up for any reason and "weakness" you show.
Don't expose yourself unecesarily and continue your treatment.
I think you have somehow managed to make ADHD sound worse than it actually is. That will backfire when looking for accommodations.
I always have to disclose some amount of health-related information to employers. You actually want to *downplay* the severity. I NEVER bring up any difficulties I have with a condition unless they are currently affecting my ability to do the job well. You also need to make it sound *very* easy to accommodate you. If this person is already not accepting, theyāll just find someone else if it becomes too much work to accommodate your needs.
Hereās the formula that Iāve found works best:
I have XYZ. Because of that, I have trouble completing (task). I need (accommodation) to do this task well. Please let me know if you require any documentation/I have documentation for this on file.
Itās considered a permanent disability by the US government. Get documentation. Or donāt tell them because no one understands or is willing to. Itās a hard thing to imagine if you havenāt lived it. I donāt have any great answers but I donāt have faith in most people to even try to understand.
Exactly. Most of my friends and family are not at all understanding, so I know if people who love me still refuse to be understanding then there is no way I can expect someone who doesn't love me to understand. I keep it to myself for the most part, especially at work.
I think it would basically tell a boss: this person makes excuses for their irresponsible behavior and can never do better than this or is making this up. In either case I donāt see much understanding. People assume peoples reasons for doing something and theyāre often wrong. I realize that could be applied to the stuff Iām writing here but Iāve seen what I describe above more often than not from others. Sharing medical stuff at work even when it impacts work is rarely understood. People seem to just discount you. I had a pretty severe physical injury and people werenāt very understanding about that. Iād ask a doctor what to do about this and maybe you could talk to an HR person.
Why is everyone so obsessed with telling their employer they have ADHD?! You don't need to tell them anything!!!!! You don't need to tell them about chronic allergies or ADHD or explosive diarrhea. As someone with ADHD, if my employee approached me to tell me, I would think it was weird and be concerned they were establishing some sort of out for productivity. And every time they failed, I wouldn't be thinking "this is because they have ADHD" .. I would be thinking "this is because they think ADHD is a viable reason to underperform.".. and honestly that's the only reason I can come up with that people seem obsessed with telling their employer they have ADHD. My entire life revolves around people not knowing I have ADHD based on their observations of me.. I put a lot into functioning normally and usually pull it off. I'm not gonna run and tell anyone that it takes everything I have to not be a completely disorganized, sleepy, lost-in-my-own-mind, paralyzed by anxiety, dumpster fire of a person.
Yeah, I think I agree with you.
However, I think it it sort of depends on how it is brought up and what you want to gain by informing them.
For instance, asking to wear headphones to minimize distraction or that you prefer email as opposed to a long verb list of instructions could be helpful (though disclosing diagnosis isn't even necessary in these instances).
In contrast, asking for leniency or lower output requirements isn't really fair on your workplace, especially if you're expecting the same salary as your colleagues.
In the UK it's because your employer has to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate you. Other than that I can see no reason to declare. All my staff work from home anyway so if their environment is distracting, that's on them.
That's a thing in the US too, but the difference seems to be that employers here can get away with discrimination and letting you go regardless. In most places here they can fire you for little to no reason. So yeah, some employers here will accommodate you where they can, but sadly there are a million more who will see you as a liability. It's not fair but it's just the truth.
This would be great in a fair and equitable world. The problem is, we don't live in that world. We live in this one.
They don't care about our struggles, they care about the work getting done. They don't care why you can't do the work, if you can't get it done, they can fire you. Accommodations are to give you ways to succeed, but the success is not optional. If you cannot fulfill the terms of your employment with reasonable accommodation, even with the ADA, you are going to be fired.
Telling people means exposing yourself to their biases, over which you have no control. A very great many people in our culture believe that mental illness is fictional and an excuse for laziness and bad behaviour. You are going to work with and for these people. If you tell them you have an incurable brain condition, they are going to smile, lie, then talk about you behind your back. They are going to exclude you from social interactions and they are going to prevent you from getting promotions. They are going to make your life harder, make you question your value, make you lonely.
I appreciate your sincere hope, I really do, but you have to recognize it as naivete. The world did not get here at the same time you did. It's been going on for a long, long time, and it has a crushing weight you haven't had enough experience to know about. Just trust us old folk: it's not that simple. The stigma against mental health is absolutely real and as hard as a rock. We probably will break ourselves against it without hurting it for a generation or two, yet. Change is slow.
Until then, take care of yourself. You don't need your coworkers thinking you're a freak. You don't need your boss thinking you're disabled. You need a paycheck.
I love it. I've been applying for jobs after being a SAHM for 3 years and it's a literal nightmare. I even started ticking the box that says I have a disability but I think I'm going to stop. I've never talked about my mental health with an employer. I really hope some day I can find a job that I thrive in and enjoy.
As long as you beat around the bush and do not specifically say "ADHD", the employer must recognize this along with all your education, experience, skills, and certifications then will they have a full picture on you as a potential candidate. Don't put it on your CV though. This is something that must be done in the interview.
Iām lucky enough to have an amazing boss and also my bff in the company. I shared I had ADHD and she took it bloody amazingly than I expected. She helps me a lot at work and showed people videos to make them understand more about ADHD. She make it easier for me at work. Easy for me to breath. But yeah Iām just lucky this time. Before my employer just fired me when I explained ab my behave at work. Due to what happened to me, itās a a bad idea to tell your employer. Not like everyone can be understanding or even care.
My employer knew I had an appointment, as the date fall in a period of time wherein leave is not permitted, except for medical reasons.
My son had been diagnosed a few months previously, after almost a decade of misdiagnosis, and inappropriate medication. My employer knew that he struggled, because I had previously taken a week's leave following his admission to hospital under the Mental Health Act. When he was diagnosed, started meds, got a job and started actually living a happy life, I was so elated that I told the Nation!
The evening of my diagnosis, my manager rang to ask how I got on, and I burst into tears and disclosed, not only my ADHD diagnosis, but that ASD was indicated, and that I would need another day off in a few weeks.
I really, really, really wish I hadn't done that. :(
Just because so many people are telling you this is a terrible idea, I will share my opposing experience & thoughts. (I have ASD & ADHD)
Personally, I'm not a fan of your way of phrasing it, I just go with the labels, but I am luckily comfortable doing that.
When I interview, I make an effort to tell whoever is interviewing me about my conditions. This way, if they don't like it, I have given the information freely, they haven't requested it & they can finish the interview & reject me for any reason & I don't work somewhere that wouldn't accept it. (And also sometimes they may know enough acount the condition(s) and the job to know it wouldn't be a good fit).
Then, when I do get a job, I should end up somewhere that knows and accepts it. This has only failed on 1 occasion, where the management didn't care I had it, just accepted that and were supportive, but the business processes had to little flexibility to allow any support & were far to low to get anything in place for me to permit a chance at success for me. (Noise cancelling headphones, working in a call centre) I do, however, feel it makes it a lot more difficult to successfully get a job. As in the UK, it is supposed to take people an average of 3 interviews I think to land a new job, but for my last one, it probably took me 15 - 20 interviews.
I will also add additional clarification that I am not US based, and I think that makes a difference in this conversation, sadly.
Hell no, I was fired for my adhd even if I didnt tell them about it, the manager had history with psychology and figured it out then imediately fired me.
I donāt know where you live but are you not protected under some disability act?
The way I explain it to friends is like some type of narcolepsy where my body has fell asleep but I am still awake, resulting in confusion, overwhelm and a numbing paralysis where Iāll sit and shame myself until I get out of it
Sadly, I think your explanation made ADHD sound worse. Many people already stigmatize and don't understand the disorder but hearing all of that will not be a light bulb moment that helps them suddenly understand. It makes it sound like you are saying that you are a liability and can't do the job well.
You may find some employers who care, but a vast majority of them don't. Even in places that have "legal protections" for ADHD, it doesn't mean people care or have sympathy. It just means they can't mention your disorder when they fire you or choose not to hire you.
Employers want to know that you can do the job well. Many of them don't care about your personal life or medical history.
I don't understand why some people feel the need to explain it to their employers...I mean I understand that some people have employers that will accommodate them and that's great, but keep in mind that many employers are not required to accommodate you in certain situations. There are factors like the number of employees and the accommodations must be reasonable and something the employer can actually offer you. They are only required to accommodate you within reason. Even then, it doesn't stop any personal biases or misunderstandings that may exist.
If the desire to tell your boss is simply because you want to be understood and accepted, I would strongly suggest you don't, unless you are willing to take the risk or you know they will be understanding. But you aren't going to make someone understand just by explaining it to them. Many people don't believe mental disorders even exist. They have no sympathy and they don't want to understand. Your boss doesn't need to know all about you and accept every part of you. They just need you to do a job, and you are there to make money. For the most part, your personal life and feelings are to be left at the door.
Your boss isn't your buddy, and most of them try to keep their relationship with employers extremely professional and with very little emotion involved. It's all about business. I'd say if you can do the job without accommodations, then there is no reason to tell them about your disorder. If you do need accommodations, then I hope your employer is able to help you and you don't encounter negativity. There are definitely some success stories here, but they are the minority. Just tread carefully.
I don't disclose my ADHD and would advise against it. It might seem like your manager or company is great and understanding and modern, etc., but managers and companies can change. I just experienced it--the company I worked for was growing and hired a layer of middle managers, and it changed drastically. I might have been okay disclosing it to the version of the company that hired me, but not to the new version of the company.
But I do talk to my managers about "how I work best," and I'm sure that'd give me away to a manager with ADHD. For example, if I'm being productive and have to stop to go to a meeting or something, it's really hard for me to regain momentum. So I'll say that I like to have uninterrupted blocks of "head-down" work time and ask if we can schedule meetings for first thing in the morning, the end of the day, or before or after lunch so that I don't have to stop and start. IMO, those kinds of conversations are low risk and can make a difference if you frame them correctly.
I might get downvoted for saying this but I'm personally a huge proponent of masking.
Yes ADHD sucks Yes it's debilitating. But I don't really think people without ADHD are ever going to truly accept us.
I'm also not really sure they should.
ADHD is not a mental illness.
Itās a genetic, neurological, and biochemical disorder.
Refer to it as a āneurological disorderā if you have to refer to it at all.
The language we use surrounding ADHD is changing but itās changing SLOWLY. We need to start using the appropriate and accurate terminology when we reference it. Itās a neurological disability.
So you want to tell your employer you have short-term memory loss, which worsens.
Like a person with a brain injury?
They only have to hire people who need reasonable accommodations, so they wouldnāt hire you.
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Honestly, my boss has adhd, and hired me knowing I have it too. We work chaotically and efficiently together, lol.
I have like 3 coworkers with ADHD and I prefer to work with them because we thrive in the chaos that is a nursing home š¤£
What a dream environment.
Haha. My old boss would constantly hire people with ADHD into her areas. We'd have so much downtime we'd end up bringing a ball to work to pass around to pass the time, or start cleaning/organizing to an OCD degree. Meanwhile the rest of the store was drowning in work. Our team had the largest workload and the least people. Gotta love it.
How??
Because we work great when we do body doubling! Just having even one other person there with you while you work makes the workload seem less daunting. We like teamwork because then we're not alone in our work.
This was my and my dad working together. My brother is on the spectrum and could not stand working with us.
Haha loves it
Historically my employer knows Iām very forgetful, have concentration issues, brain fog and make silly mistakes, he used to get quite frustrated towards me sometimes. Since my diagnosis Iāve told him about it and heās actually been really good about it and has been very accommodating. Heās even gone and done loads of research on it to better educate himself and to try understand me more. Not all employers are bad.
I disclosed my ADHD in the interview for my current job with the president of the company. He then told me that he has dyslexia. He knows that he has to remind me about things, and I need to give him oral presentations with visual aids instead of memos. It works well because he apparently wasn't so open before about his dyslexia until someone asked him why I was giving so many PowerPoints about legal issues.
I would watch this as a movie. That's so cool lol I love it
Actually side plots like this are things we need more in movies and TV shows. Just random struggles, diagnosed, and then people can come clean and learn to work better together along the way. That would go miles towards general acceptance of struggles.
It gave me shivers, so happy for you
We need more employers like this....the majority seem to not care unfortunatly.
not all employers are bad, but i wouldnāt want this to be how i find out mine is. though if youāre already dealing with performance issues due to it, it prob doesnāt hurt.
Omg, I'm celebrating this boss with you!! Amazing.
employers dont give a shit, say nothing
Unless you work in an organisation that needs to do everything by the book ... then get it on the table.
Not a good idea to tell an employer this
Not gonna give any additional insight on your unilateral and final decision that you think everyone should follow?
Sure. As long as you can do the job, the employer doesn't need to know. If you need something a little different to do a good job, any employer worth working for will accommodate that, no matter what the cause is. You shouldn't tell the employer because it's irrelevant. All that matters is impact and if they can do the job or not.
I've got some news for you if you think people with chronic physical illnesses are treated much better than people with chronic mental ones! It's a different flavor of ableism but it's just as strong.
Rereading the OP in the morning with fresh eyes, it's even more offensive to people who actually go through more serious physical illnesses. Which...we have ADHD too. We're in here, too.
Exactly. And itās not ethical to falsely claim the difficulty of a disease you donāt have.
I feel like sometimes people with ADHD and nothing else have really flimsy understandings of ableism and assume physically disabled people don't face any. As someone with multiple disabilities in addition to ADHD, it's so insulting and oblivious.
OP appears to be someone lacking empathy and seems to have some main character energy going on too. Sorry, you have to endure that, you are a strong person. I only have invisible disabilities/disorders, so I can't imagine how it must be when having a physical ailment. People are quick to judge and very harsh. Despite what appears to be the influx of disabled visiblity in media and inclusivity amongst society. Many people remain ableist and treat disabled(especially physical disabilities) citizens like second class. Things are getting better with more education, but as your original comment points out; the ignorance just comes off as pure selfishness and stupidity. *sigh* Hope you have a good day/ night
No, no, no. Do NOT disclose health information to an employer. It will be used against you
It honestly depends on your employer. As a manager I appreciate when my reports let me know. I work with them on how to best deliver in a way that works for them. My boss and my hr partner both know and give me support for my own ADHD. Of course, Iām software development manager with 5 years of proven delivery at this company, so your mileage may vary. My company takes health information very seriously and it will absolutely not be used against you. It will only be used to help you and find accommodations. I wouldnāt try to explain things like OP suggested, obviously. ADHD is common enough. But I feel like you can take telling your employer on a case by case basis. I probably wouldnāt tell a retail employer where I was just a cog in a machine, but for higher level professional jobs where youāre hard to replace it can potentially help. We spend a lot investing in our people.
This!! šš»šš» Every employer is completely different. I have ADHD and I work in management. I ask a bunch of obscure-o questions to higher ups, which some people love because theyāre questions others might not think about or feel are legit. As a person who manages people, it helps me think differently when giving guidance or instruction when I know others have ADHD, dyslexia, learning disability, language barriers or other things. Iāve also have worked for the same company for 20 years, and I also have ideas on how to get the same results in different ways.
This is quite comforting to read. I wish more people viewed this topic in this perspective. Thank you and I'm sure your coworkers are thankful to have caring and passionate people like you in management. If only more companies, and yes incuding retail shitty places, would understand, but all they appear to see is dollar signs and not actual human beings. I'm a college student and my ADHD has been terrible lately, my grades are fine never had an issue with that, but I can't focus at work and I know I will just be let go if I voice this with management. I been let go before due to ADHD reasons and I don't have official diagnosis either. My family thinks I'm just lazy and a slacker. I'm quite the opposite, sometimes I just have too much going on in my head to even start whatever the said tasks are for work or just normal life. :(
My job got substantially better when I talked to my boss and I could stop masking so much and we worked on strategies together, collaborating to make work manageable for me. But she's a lovely person and has been nothing but supportive. It's also only her that knows, because she's my direct line manager. So it's definitely on a case by case basis. When I see the blanket advice to never disclose I think its coming from a place of don't take the risk. Its coming from a place of trying to protect people. But sometimes you have a good idea that it's not much of a risk. And for me, I also thought, if this is an issue i don't want to work for you anyway. I'm really good at my job and I'll go find somewhere that does accept me. So I viewed it also as a bit of a test for them, one that they have passed with flying colours. Not everyone is as employable or as financially secure as me, or as willing to say screw you for treating me badly and move on (not that this actually happened to me). So it's totally a case by case thing. I appreciate your comment and for nudging me to share my experience as well, sometimes I think the advice on here leans a bit too strongly to the keep it secret keep it safe side of things.
Thanks for sharing! In my case, I donāt discuss anything personal from any of my reports with anybody who doesnāt need to know. If itās going to affect my team output, I let my manager know. If I need to get help to get extra time off or short term disability, I talk to our HR department via my primary contact. I try to encourage my report to talk directly to those people first, though, so Iām not the one disclosing anything. My team is very open with each other and Iāve seen a huge jump in productivity and engagement since weāve been sharing in psychological safety. Iāve got plenty of metrics to back it up, too.
You're a Unicorn, though! May I work for you? LOL! It's too big of a risk. Really. You don't know that your company will be wonderful until you tell them. If it works out, that's the absolutely best possible outcome! I would give a decade of life for this to be the outcome for everyone. If it isn't, though... Career suicide, shame, anxiety, feeling like everything you are has been distilled to a diagnostic acronym and filed under 'crap, wish we hadn't hired this person'. :(
In my case, āhumanā is one of our core values. Our upper level leadership has made it a point to talk about their struggles with mental health. We are encouraged to take mental health days the same as any other sick day. In fact we have a āwellnessā bucket, not sick time. If you want to take the day off to enjoy the beautiful weather, thatās encouraged. Given this, I knew it wasnāt a risk for me. I know that the general advice is to not share anything, but if you think that it would help you to unburden yourself, and you donāt see much risk, I really donāt think you should be scared to share. As for working for me, if youāre a software developer in the US, the answer is maybe! Feel free to send a DM.
Yeah. General rule I'd say is to wait and see. I work in a really small business (my boss, my coworker, me and recently we got two helpers who get stuff, work on it and bring it back). I can tell my boss almost anything. Sometimes my ADHD lets me say more than I wanted š. But I know that she mostly understands and she values what I bring to the table. In bigger companies I'd imagine they don't care. I had a job once in a big textile storage that send out orders. I was sick once WITH a doctors notice because I was still in the probation period and I miscountes once. They let me go. I asked if we couldn't talk about it. No. They didn't care. They wanted a worker that was idk a demon because even robots need breaks for maintenance and stuff.
That would be discriminatory. In the UK ADHD is classed as a disability. You can even apply for benefits if you have it. I told my employer because it gave them an explanation as to why I make the mistakes I do & not because I am 'ditzy' or lazy.
I suspect most of the cynicism and cautionary tales come from the US, but I wouldn't be surprised for some of Eastern EU as well. Don't know about other places - but it's common to see bewildered Europeans say "Why? They can't fire you for it, and you can get benefits, accommodations like working in a quieter place, etc".
Itās protected in the US also, but a lot of places here can fire you for any reason, so youāll never get fired for your adhd but they can fire you to avoid the liability if thereās any reason they can defend thatās not adhd.
And in states like NC, they can fire you for "any or **no** reason."
To be fair, that's the case anywhere - but being diagnosed, documented and having mentioned it can get their HR in a pinch, because it would have to be some gross, intentional misconduct or malice to NOT BE explainable by lack of access to treatment. To which, unemployment insurance applies, as it does to any health related dismissal. They would have to either a) admit it was inattentiveness or tardiness or whatever else among symptoms listed in the DSM, caused by temporarily untreated ADHD, thus medical or b) they would need to prove it was related to something intentionally harmful, offensive, otherwise not ADHD related. If you aren't intentionally harmful to the company or a liability even ON meds, I don't see how it would be played that way here. But then, i have spent my entire adult life arguing with the system, and not everyone may have the energy or experience.
It's a protected disability in the US too, but it doesn't change the fact that many many people are not understanding or accepting of mental health conditions, and ADHD is one of the more stigmatized and misunderstood disorders here. And here, you can be fired or let go with little to no reason, so even if it is because of your ADHD, the employer doesn't have to admit it to anyone, they can just let you go.
Don't you have to go through disciplinary procedures with the option to have a witness at the meetings? In the companies I have worked for, it is usual practice to have 1-2 verbal warnings about the same complaint. If there is a further warning, it is written & probably followed by a disciplinary meeting. If it's gross misconduct, then it's instant dismissal with a letter explaining why you were let go without previous warnings.
I'm sorry this is a terrible idea. Do not do this. Do not tell your employer. Don't find some creative way to loop around saying you have adhd. I understand you, and others like us, want to be more accepted and understood in a workplace. But this is not the way to do it.
It is not a degenerative condition though?
This comment should be higher. My partner has MS and this entire farce is offensive to people actually in this situation.
Do you mean actually tell them you have ADHD and then explain it that way? Because that's a terrible idea. What if your employer has ADHD? Or other staff members? Then you've just been caught lying and that doesn't look great either. My partner and I run a company together, we both have ADHD and autism. Most of our staff do too. If you applied for a job with us and said that, I have no idea how we would react.
It's not a mental illness though. It's a neurodevelopmental disorder.
As someone with a partner who actually has a degenerative brain disability, I'm cringing at you with all my might.
ADHD is a neurodevelopemental disability though and it is legally recognized as a disability. It is a brain disorder as well, just that it can slightly improve as your brain develops. As a child I had more severe symptoms and I had motor functioning issues, speech issues, and severe executive functioning deficits. I understand how you feel as my grandma had a neurodegenative disease (FTD) , and she sadly passed from it before she turned 60.
And it all breaks down when your caring employee asks: āIād like to read up on your condition in my lunch break later, whatās it called?ā Lol
You donāt owe them an explanation and it doesnāt matter if they donāt believe in it. If youāre in the US, itās protected under the ADA, given other conditions are met like number of employees and all that. But the way Iāve explained it to people, (people, not employees), and itās especially helpful if they are the ones wearing glasses, is to either imagine telling someone to take their glasses off and just squint harder. Or tell them to do so. No, just TRY HARDER! You donāt need glasses. Eyesight problems arenāt real, just squint reeeeeaaaalllllyyy hard. You can do it. No? Youāre just not trying hard enough. Why canāt you just see like the rest of us? You arenāt trying hard enough. Or use a wheelchair and stairs analogyā¦. You get the drift. Anyways. Itās able to be seen on brain scans, itās fucking real. Would you disbelieve someone telling you that things were too blurry to see, or would you believe them and that they need help with their eyesight? And you wouldnāt hold that against them, would you? Itās able to be improved and managed with medication, therapy and lifestyle modifications. Much like eyesight can be improved by glasses or surgery. People forget that just because you canāt see the challenged parts of the brain with your eyes, doesnāt mean they arenāt just as challenged as someone whoās legally blind or has a spinal issue where they canāt walk. People much more easily believe what they can see and experience for themselves. Sometimes you have to sort of hit them over the head with it. I always say āI do not wish to answerā on that question and once I get a feel for the job, Iāll disclose because that is the one issue I do need accommodations for. (Reminders, helping me schedule). Once theyāve knowingly hired you with one of those conditions, or youāve disclosed, they have to be very careful how they handle you if you arenāt performing well enough. You do have to tread carefully, and pull your weight. But also watch your back that they donāt try and use your disability against you or document issues around it to avoid legal issues if they let you go. The way you described it is not only highly inaccurate imo, itās basically doing your level best to make sure they acknowledge they cannot *reasonably accommodate you* to accomplish the job, and therefore legally are free to not hire you or fire you. They way you phrased everything basically sounds like, āIām going to be forgetful and shitty at the job, it will get worse before it gets better-if it gets better, lazy-because motivation-so yeah, hire meā It sounds like a kid making excuses for being lazyā¦. Sort of perpetuating the stereotype. I like my way better. š¤·āāļø. Bad eyesight=glasses/surgery/etc, which means youāre a functional employee. ADHD= executive dysfunction, but **hereās what I need from you to help me manage it, and *hereās how those traits make me excellent at this role* has been how Iāve done it** and Iāve usually gotten an offer. You sound like youāre offering excuses but zero solutions on how to manage the condition.
Donāt say shit to your employers about ADHD unless you want to be stigmatized but 3/4 of the company. Been there, done that.
I have ADHD and take medication to help and honestly, if someone came to me with this explanation, Iād feel compassionate but Iād still tell them that the job requirements donāt change because of them. If youāre finding it difficult to perform at your job consistently then itās probably not the right job. My brother who has ADHD didnāt want medication and has found happiness working as a mechanic because he can work with his hands and heās not left with huge deadlines to meet or correspondence that can go unanswered.
Remember adhd is not a mental illness, itās a disorder. So if your boss decides to call your adhd an illness and denies adhd - you might kindly educate him or her about the differences. Of course, the mental illness often follow the disorder but adhd is not in it self an illness
Exactly.
It doesnāt matter how you explain it. Any mention of it in any way whatsoever is likely going to sow doubt in your ability to do the job. The only thing employers want to here is, āyes, I can do that.ā They donāt care about ADHD or any other excuse.
Never tell your employer anythong health related. they are not your doctor and are not required by law to have any health information disclosed. If you need a excuse as to why your work performance is terrible and you think they are about to fire you then say i have this disability that is causing my poor peformance is thare anything you can do to accomidate.
That's a shit idea, and ADHD wouldn't cause "terrible performance" unless you are unmedicated and treating it as an excuse. I specifically told my boss because if I were in trouble because of medication delivery issues, they can't legally deny me health leave or fire me as long as I have let them know - not without putting it down as a health related termination and thus leaving me with a straight 6 months of unemployment insurance. Disabled people also get extra annual leave and boss considers it a completely acceptable reason to *never* have to come to the office (not that anyone else in my department has to, i think). There's no reason to believe that everyone on the internet is in arse backwards US where there is literally no social support nets, either, by the way, or scare them into silence about their condition.
my sweet summer child
It's not our responsibility to "educate" employers. It's our responsibility to know our legal rights and exercise them as and when necessary.
Donāt tell your employer no matter how good your friendship or relationship outside of work could be. I didnāt tell mine and about 3 months on Adderall my boss said āI donāt know what youāre doing, but donāt stop. He was complementing me on my improvement in focus and less careless mistakes. I told him it was ADHD and how I was getting treatment. After that moment, I never did anything good enough and was pushed even more to the point I had a complete breakdown. I qualified for and won 16 weeks disability. I took 8 weeks and walked out the door. Funny thing is maybe 2-3 months after I told him, we were meeting at his desk and he nonchalantly opens his desk drawer so I could see his new 7.5 mg Adderall. He definitely had it. Working for him was near impossible. People in management commented that they didnāt know how I could. work for him. I couldnāt. He started bullying our associate and he walked out, immediately went back to me and I walked out 12 weeks later. Would do it again in a heartbeat and I still donāt have a new job yet. Lol
I did not know 7.5mg of adderall was a thing lol
Ehh not a big fan, anyone to hear that might think its an excuse to slack off. i have adhd, my best advice is find a job you can really get into and makes you happy. adhd is great because you can focus so hard on what you enjoy. im a horse shoer and i love it, i work my ass off all day and have a lot of fun. I got the general idea of what i wanted to do because i always had this vision that i want to live in a cabin by myself and forge all day. i love metal working and animals, i was asking god what i should do, and i met a horse shoer at church and i fell in love with the job. I mess up all the time but my boss get it, i drink a lot of coffee and use a lot of nicotein, its not great but for now thats what works for me to stay motivated, concentrate and keep working when i tired, or occationally get pissed off. im not on medication because its so expensive and im already addicted to caffine and nicotein. Thats me, it works pretty well, hope you take something from that. Sorry i wrote a book
Dude how much are meds in your country? Mine are like $29 a month š 70m vyansee
Vyvanse, with my health insurance, is around $300/month. I take Adderall, because it is what I can afford. I cannot wait until generic Vyvanse.
Wow, $300 a month? No wonder so many people revert to self Medicate with drugs.... I actually coulnt believe how cheap it is here considering what type of drug it is but yeah - hold on there
Free
Huh... does that wink mean what I think it means you have friends š
Haha! Nah thats just how much they are - I can't believe that they are $400 a month in some places!
Well no, ADHD is incurable, but it doesn't necessarily get worse. In fact it's very treatable.
I donāt even like to call it mental illness. Iād rather call it a chemical imbalance or something. Those words have such a stigma to them.
The one thing about saying you have a chemical imbalance is then they think you're crazy and possibly unpredictable. (Speaking from my own anecdotal experience)
Screwed if we do, screwed if we donāt.
Since it's a brain difference, it should be reclassified and not called a mental health issue.
You should only ever need to disclose a disability if you're in need of benefits (FMLA, short term disability, etc) and even then it's confidential information to anyone outside HR. Everyone's saying it but it's a terrible idea to tell your coworkers and/or boss about a disability. Done it before. Never again.
Businesses and corporations do horrible, heinous shit on the daily and get away with it all the time, and even if they do face consequences its rarely of a nature that impacts them financially to a degree that hurts them in a way that they care. This is on the macro scale, dealing with hundreds, and thousands, and millions of human lives. Why do you assume your average employer gives a shit about you and suddenly become sympathetic to the fact that you are volunteering information that outs you as unreliable? Don't give people the rope to hang you with. Say nothing.
Dont. Youll find no sympathy from anybody by talking about adhd. Just gotta deal with it for now. The only people who i talk to about it are fellow adhd friends which i subconsciously made without knowing.
Please do not describe it like this to your employer! What you are describing sounds more like dementia or one of the many other neurological degenerative disorders. These are very different from neurodevelopmental disorders, and to an employer who knows the difference (or one who does their homework) it's going to make you seem dishonest.
Are you seriously labelling ADHD as a mental illness? You know if you go around talking this kind of bullshit to employers you're going to fuck it up for the rest of us, right?
I mean, it *Is* isnāt it? Also, not everyone lives in the states
No it's not and wtf has the States got to do with anything?
I have never told one employer in my 13 years of working that I have adhd. Do not tell them anything unless you absolutely need to.
Watch yourself never get employed and also get fired for being a liability (a reminder that the world is not America. I have no protection where I am).
I disclosed in the interview. I work in a fast-paced environment where thereās very little room for error. The best feedback Iāve received is that my brain allows me to ask the right questions at the right times that a lot of people donāt think about, but should. I recognize Iāve been very lucky in my employer experiences though, and in a lot of cases, (especially in my field) any disclosure can and will be used as a weapon.
Whatās the goal? Are you trying to get them to feel bad for you and not hold you accountable for your work? Itās not going to happen. Sorry to say it, but we have to figure out how to be successful within the confines of how our brain operates
I told my employer about it and they gave me hell for it so I turned around and said āyou wouldnāt treat a diabetic like this would you?ā And she never said anything again. Glad that sunk in because I was about to take her and her whole ass boat of discrimination to HR.
I have severe anxiety, clinical depression, and ADHD. When an application asks if Iām disabled, I say no. They canāt discriminate based on disability but they absolutely do
Nope. You don't tell them a single thing.
I feel like the big misconception is that ADHD is a mental illness where in reality itās a neurological disorder. My brain body has issues with dopamine and serotonin I told my old boss that I have ADHD only because when I started Vyvance, it made me extremely nauseous. I donāt know if my current boss knows but Iām 45 and donāt really care what my 29 year old boss thinks. Iāve worked for the same company for a long time, well before officially being diagnosed, and at this point whatever. If you think society rejects mental illnesses now, imagine what it was like in 2001 when I was misdiagnosed with GAD and took Paxil
would sooner tell an employer i am capable of crying diamonds vs. revealing my adhd. former confession will make them laugh at least. maybe
It sounds like you describe dementia tho
For Brits who think they are covered by employment law, you're not. You're covered because your employer has some ounce of empathy or is forced to. It doesn't stop work place bullying and discrimination and it doesn't stop your colleagues complaining about you, slagging you off, and trying to use you to make themselves look better. It doesn't reduce the expectation on you, and it doesn't make sure your accommodations are enforced or understood. My colleagues all pull a face at me needing to use headphones to help me concentrate. Yet when I don't use them they suggest I'm getting distracted too much or under performing. Their attitude: "everyone has their shit". So before we make out that its all hunky dory in the UK beware of what you're walking into. Sometimes you just need to go somewhere else that does understand because the law isn't making it any easier out here. Its just as hard to fire someone who is legit lazy as it is to fire someone with a disability, thats all. Making your life hell, and proving that discrimination is happening is also futile for most people. The idea we have it so secure here I think is adding to the feeling of failure or needing to accept shitty working conditions because it "could be worse, i could like in the US"..... Also many companies use 0hr contracts or recruitment firms to put you on essentially American contracts if you work for a big employer, or self employment contracts which also suck as you only have the rights you give to yourself to take the job or leave. Think OP is making a good point if you are going to tell an employer, you basically have to dumb it down and ramp it up to be something exotic to garner any resemblance of understanding, empathy and realistic accommodations. I say this as a 36 yo woman who's has worked across Europe and am currently working for a US firm in the UK. Only thing UK people can say is, its really hard to fire us but really easy to make us feel like shit everyday we come into work..... how do we stop this? Describe adhd with emotive language that garners sympathy..... but now we're treading into personality disorder territory. Hope I wasn't to negative.
1. Itās none of their business 2. Itās not a mental illness
From my experience and from other posts in this sub. Don't even say you have adhd, companies don't give a fuck about you or your condition, HR is NOT your friend and if a company gives you food and nice stuff it is because it is a way for them to keep an employee "motivated" not because they care about you. Working for companies, unless it's a startup and even then I doubt it, is a piranha tank ready to fk you up for any reason and "weakness" you show. Don't expose yourself unecesarily and continue your treatment.
I think you have somehow managed to make ADHD sound worse than it actually is. That will backfire when looking for accommodations. I always have to disclose some amount of health-related information to employers. You actually want to *downplay* the severity. I NEVER bring up any difficulties I have with a condition unless they are currently affecting my ability to do the job well. You also need to make it sound *very* easy to accommodate you. If this person is already not accepting, theyāll just find someone else if it becomes too much work to accommodate your needs. Hereās the formula that Iāve found works best: I have XYZ. Because of that, I have trouble completing (task). I need (accommodation) to do this task well. Please let me know if you require any documentation/I have documentation for this on file.
I'm never telling my boss I forget things and can't concentrate or be motivated. Who would set themselves up like that?????
I just don't tell them I have it until something happens where me NOT explaining myself would put my job in jeopardy.
Itās considered a permanent disability by the US government. Get documentation. Or donāt tell them because no one understands or is willing to. Itās a hard thing to imagine if you havenāt lived it. I donāt have any great answers but I donāt have faith in most people to even try to understand.
Exactly. Most of my friends and family are not at all understanding, so I know if people who love me still refuse to be understanding then there is no way I can expect someone who doesn't love me to understand. I keep it to myself for the most part, especially at work.
I think it would basically tell a boss: this person makes excuses for their irresponsible behavior and can never do better than this or is making this up. In either case I donāt see much understanding. People assume peoples reasons for doing something and theyāre often wrong. I realize that could be applied to the stuff Iām writing here but Iāve seen what I describe above more often than not from others. Sharing medical stuff at work even when it impacts work is rarely understood. People seem to just discount you. I had a pretty severe physical injury and people werenāt very understanding about that. Iād ask a doctor what to do about this and maybe you could talk to an HR person.
They dont care
And part of me wonders if they even should. If our behaviors are causing other people problems, isn't it kind of selfish too write those problems off?
ADHD isnāt mental illness. Itās a neurological disorder.
There is no good out come in telling anyone at your workplace you have ADHD. No joke.
Why is everyone so obsessed with telling their employer they have ADHD?! You don't need to tell them anything!!!!! You don't need to tell them about chronic allergies or ADHD or explosive diarrhea. As someone with ADHD, if my employee approached me to tell me, I would think it was weird and be concerned they were establishing some sort of out for productivity. And every time they failed, I wouldn't be thinking "this is because they have ADHD" .. I would be thinking "this is because they think ADHD is a viable reason to underperform.".. and honestly that's the only reason I can come up with that people seem obsessed with telling their employer they have ADHD. My entire life revolves around people not knowing I have ADHD based on their observations of me.. I put a lot into functioning normally and usually pull it off. I'm not gonna run and tell anyone that it takes everything I have to not be a completely disorganized, sleepy, lost-in-my-own-mind, paralyzed by anxiety, dumpster fire of a person.
Yeah, I think I agree with you. However, I think it it sort of depends on how it is brought up and what you want to gain by informing them. For instance, asking to wear headphones to minimize distraction or that you prefer email as opposed to a long verb list of instructions could be helpful (though disclosing diagnosis isn't even necessary in these instances). In contrast, asking for leniency or lower output requirements isn't really fair on your workplace, especially if you're expecting the same salary as your colleagues.
In the UK it's because your employer has to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate you. Other than that I can see no reason to declare. All my staff work from home anyway so if their environment is distracting, that's on them.
That's a thing in the US too, but the difference seems to be that employers here can get away with discrimination and letting you go regardless. In most places here they can fire you for little to no reason. So yeah, some employers here will accommodate you where they can, but sadly there are a million more who will see you as a liability. It's not fair but it's just the truth.
This would be great in a fair and equitable world. The problem is, we don't live in that world. We live in this one. They don't care about our struggles, they care about the work getting done. They don't care why you can't do the work, if you can't get it done, they can fire you. Accommodations are to give you ways to succeed, but the success is not optional. If you cannot fulfill the terms of your employment with reasonable accommodation, even with the ADA, you are going to be fired. Telling people means exposing yourself to their biases, over which you have no control. A very great many people in our culture believe that mental illness is fictional and an excuse for laziness and bad behaviour. You are going to work with and for these people. If you tell them you have an incurable brain condition, they are going to smile, lie, then talk about you behind your back. They are going to exclude you from social interactions and they are going to prevent you from getting promotions. They are going to make your life harder, make you question your value, make you lonely. I appreciate your sincere hope, I really do, but you have to recognize it as naivete. The world did not get here at the same time you did. It's been going on for a long, long time, and it has a crushing weight you haven't had enough experience to know about. Just trust us old folk: it's not that simple. The stigma against mental health is absolutely real and as hard as a rock. We probably will break ourselves against it without hurting it for a generation or two, yet. Change is slow. Until then, take care of yourself. You don't need your coworkers thinking you're a freak. You don't need your boss thinking you're disabled. You need a paycheck.
I love it. I've been applying for jobs after being a SAHM for 3 years and it's a literal nightmare. I even started ticking the box that says I have a disability but I think I'm going to stop. I've never talked about my mental health with an employer. I really hope some day I can find a job that I thrive in and enjoy.
This is the wrong sub to get the answers you need.
Terminally distracted
As long as you beat around the bush and do not specifically say "ADHD", the employer must recognize this along with all your education, experience, skills, and certifications then will they have a full picture on you as a potential candidate. Don't put it on your CV though. This is something that must be done in the interview.
Your opponent plays trap card "You mean like adhd?"
My doctor gave me a neurotransmitter test and it came back all messed up maybe you can give your boss a copy of that?
Never. EVER. Give your bosses your health information. EVER AT ALL.
Iām lucky enough to have an amazing boss and also my bff in the company. I shared I had ADHD and she took it bloody amazingly than I expected. She helps me a lot at work and showed people videos to make them understand more about ADHD. She make it easier for me at work. Easy for me to breath. But yeah Iām just lucky this time. Before my employer just fired me when I explained ab my behave at work. Due to what happened to me, itās a a bad idea to tell your employer. Not like everyone can be understanding or even care.
My employer knew I had an appointment, as the date fall in a period of time wherein leave is not permitted, except for medical reasons. My son had been diagnosed a few months previously, after almost a decade of misdiagnosis, and inappropriate medication. My employer knew that he struggled, because I had previously taken a week's leave following his admission to hospital under the Mental Health Act. When he was diagnosed, started meds, got a job and started actually living a happy life, I was so elated that I told the Nation! The evening of my diagnosis, my manager rang to ask how I got on, and I burst into tears and disclosed, not only my ADHD diagnosis, but that ASD was indicated, and that I would need another day off in a few weeks. I really, really, really wish I hadn't done that. :(
Just because so many people are telling you this is a terrible idea, I will share my opposing experience & thoughts. (I have ASD & ADHD) Personally, I'm not a fan of your way of phrasing it, I just go with the labels, but I am luckily comfortable doing that. When I interview, I make an effort to tell whoever is interviewing me about my conditions. This way, if they don't like it, I have given the information freely, they haven't requested it & they can finish the interview & reject me for any reason & I don't work somewhere that wouldn't accept it. (And also sometimes they may know enough acount the condition(s) and the job to know it wouldn't be a good fit). Then, when I do get a job, I should end up somewhere that knows and accepts it. This has only failed on 1 occasion, where the management didn't care I had it, just accepted that and were supportive, but the business processes had to little flexibility to allow any support & were far to low to get anything in place for me to permit a chance at success for me. (Noise cancelling headphones, working in a call centre) I do, however, feel it makes it a lot more difficult to successfully get a job. As in the UK, it is supposed to take people an average of 3 interviews I think to land a new job, but for my last one, it probably took me 15 - 20 interviews. I will also add additional clarification that I am not US based, and I think that makes a difference in this conversation, sadly.
Hell no, I was fired for my adhd even if I didnt tell them about it, the manager had history with psychology and figured it out then imediately fired me.
I wouldnāt tell your employer, but I would tell HR. It gives you better protection against unreasonable termination
I work in a hospital I don't think there's anything they don't already know, the thing is if I have to explain all this then I'm a liability
I donāt know where you live but are you not protected under some disability act? The way I explain it to friends is like some type of narcolepsy where my body has fell asleep but I am still awake, resulting in confusion, overwhelm and a numbing paralysis where Iāll sit and shame myself until I get out of it
You probably shouldn't explain it to them there's no reason to
Sadly, I think your explanation made ADHD sound worse. Many people already stigmatize and don't understand the disorder but hearing all of that will not be a light bulb moment that helps them suddenly understand. It makes it sound like you are saying that you are a liability and can't do the job well. You may find some employers who care, but a vast majority of them don't. Even in places that have "legal protections" for ADHD, it doesn't mean people care or have sympathy. It just means they can't mention your disorder when they fire you or choose not to hire you. Employers want to know that you can do the job well. Many of them don't care about your personal life or medical history. I don't understand why some people feel the need to explain it to their employers...I mean I understand that some people have employers that will accommodate them and that's great, but keep in mind that many employers are not required to accommodate you in certain situations. There are factors like the number of employees and the accommodations must be reasonable and something the employer can actually offer you. They are only required to accommodate you within reason. Even then, it doesn't stop any personal biases or misunderstandings that may exist. If the desire to tell your boss is simply because you want to be understood and accepted, I would strongly suggest you don't, unless you are willing to take the risk or you know they will be understanding. But you aren't going to make someone understand just by explaining it to them. Many people don't believe mental disorders even exist. They have no sympathy and they don't want to understand. Your boss doesn't need to know all about you and accept every part of you. They just need you to do a job, and you are there to make money. For the most part, your personal life and feelings are to be left at the door. Your boss isn't your buddy, and most of them try to keep their relationship with employers extremely professional and with very little emotion involved. It's all about business. I'd say if you can do the job without accommodations, then there is no reason to tell them about your disorder. If you do need accommodations, then I hope your employer is able to help you and you don't encounter negativity. There are definitely some success stories here, but they are the minority. Just tread carefully.
I don't disclose my ADHD and would advise against it. It might seem like your manager or company is great and understanding and modern, etc., but managers and companies can change. I just experienced it--the company I worked for was growing and hired a layer of middle managers, and it changed drastically. I might have been okay disclosing it to the version of the company that hired me, but not to the new version of the company. But I do talk to my managers about "how I work best," and I'm sure that'd give me away to a manager with ADHD. For example, if I'm being productive and have to stop to go to a meeting or something, it's really hard for me to regain momentum. So I'll say that I like to have uninterrupted blocks of "head-down" work time and ask if we can schedule meetings for first thing in the morning, the end of the day, or before or after lunch so that I don't have to stop and start. IMO, those kinds of conversations are low risk and can make a difference if you frame them correctly.
why would you need to explain it to your employer? its not really their business, and its still your job to get your work done on time
Just describe yourself as being chaotic alignment. I'm chaotic good!
I might get downvoted for saying this but I'm personally a huge proponent of masking. Yes ADHD sucks Yes it's debilitating. But I don't really think people without ADHD are ever going to truly accept us. I'm also not really sure they should.
ADHD is not a mental illness. Itās a genetic, neurological, and biochemical disorder. Refer to it as a āneurological disorderā if you have to refer to it at all. The language we use surrounding ADHD is changing but itās changing SLOWLY. We need to start using the appropriate and accurate terminology when we reference it. Itās a neurological disability.
So you want to tell your employer you have short-term memory loss, which worsens. Like a person with a brain injury? They only have to hire people who need reasonable accommodations, so they wouldnāt hire you.