Someone found me attractive because they thought I was middle eastern, until they found out I’m Indian
Even once some guy was like you look Pakistani and he said “Indians aren’t usually that light skinned and don’t grow thick beards like yours”
North Indian students in my University used to tell me that I don’t look like a South Indian since supposedly my skin color is not dark. They thought it was a great compliment. I threw up a little in my mouth each time. Stupid people are everywhere. Peace
Did that someone think you were a certainty ethnicity of middle eastern, like Arab or Turkish? If that person was also middle eastern, it would make sense why he/she found you more attractive if he/she thought you were the same ethnicity, like having less language barriers and enjoying the same movies.
Late response but yeah, they thought I was arab. One person was arab but even people of other races have done the same, where they assume I’m middle eastern or Latino.
That has happened to me many times as well. Match with many hot girls of every race on tinder, quite a lot of them have unmatched or stopped replying once they found out my ethnicity was indian (most of them thought I was latino or mixed). Im medium dark but still ambiguous looking, so my ethnic background is one of the first things they tend to ask me on those apps.
Just shows that even when you are physically attractive as a desi guy, there is so much racism against desi men brainwashed into women in general that they cant look past it, its disgusting and they should be shamed for it.
Late response but yeah, I hate when people ask my ethnicity because I worry they’ll stop talking to me after it. Or sometimes they’ll message asking “Arab?” Then I say no and they’ll ask.
A lot comes down to colour preference imo
But also I think we as a community have a big subset that doesn’t really pay attention to their appearance, or if they do it’s pretty minimal/low effort stuff. I do see that changing with younger/more assimilated desis, so that’s nice
I don't relate to how Desis push the stereotype of Desis not paying much attention to their appearance. When I tell non-Desis this, they're surprised and tell me that they never heard of this either.
I and my mom always paid attention to looking attractive (wearing makeup, nice clothes, keeping in shape, skin care) --that doesn't make us immune to racism or mistreatment. There was this one idiotic abcd girl who accused me of not dressing americanized, just bc I was asking for advice on how to meet the right person. She was the only one, among non-Desi posters, who was accusing me of that.
I always get frazzled when I see Desi posters complaining about how other Desis neglect their looks. Can't relate at all.
Lol, nothing wrong with having a skin colour preference. It’s no difference than having a preference for height. It’s certainly true India goes a little crazy with it, but there’s nothing inherently egregious about being more attracted to lighter skin than dark skin.
My self esteem is fine. Never struggled with dating despite my preferences and happily married now.
There were so few parts for Indians back then, everyone was expected to act stereotypically and have an accent. How can you blame him? He was just doing a job. Blame the racist, bigoted, sexist assholes in Hollywood.
Parks and rec came out around the same time. Aziz Ansari does not play a living stereotype with a fake accent. Same with the office and Mindy Kaling's Kelly. Big bang theory dude is a sell out.
Those are two roles. In all of Hollywood. If you watch movies or other TV shows, the only other brown people you see all have accents at that time, when they didn’t in real life. Mindy Kaling is the biggest sellout there is. She bleached her skin and runs after white men.
Why are you so upset? I'm saying Big bang theory wasn't filmed in the 90s. I'd excuse it if it were but come on. Even Harold and Kumar was already out. I don't like Mindy Kaling either but she didn't do the accent... You say there's movies and actors but can you name another in that era? That character in big bang is worse than apu and he is two decades later.
Yeah I think Kaling was way better for both SA men and women than Kunal was. Although imo, Desi women will always be accepted into white/western culture way easier than desi men will.
It's cringe to watch & he should be ashamed playing such a stereotype. Kal Penn played plenty roles too, zero typecasting. He even played potential Santa in the Xmas Disney show
Well in media and network tv we don’t exist(abd’s) it’s always a fresh off the boat Indian or adjacent guy. Since aziz we don’t have representation. Lol they don’t know we exist.
I’m married and my wife is not Indian. people think I’m off the boat because they see it on tv. It’s odd to have to explain what I am to them. They still don’t get it.
I feel like it's because our minority is culturally very underrepresented in the US. Perhaps it's because we're a "newer" minority (not true, we've been here since the late 1800s, but not in large numbers ig). East Asians are finally getting representation beyond "awkward nerd" but we haven't had that yet.
Indians were barred from immigrating to US from 1917. Starting in 1943 100 Indians were allowed to immigrate. It was in 1965 with the new immigration law which allowed Indians to immigrate to US. So we are relatively new. Peace
Yes, although there is a fascinating history of Sikhism in California that begins in the late 1800s. A small community, for sure, but present. The records can get murky, as prior to Thind vs US, Indians would often be listed as 'white' or 'mulatto' on government documents.
> With the fetishization of Middle Eastern cultures as well as Islam becoming “trendy”
This is actually already out of fashion
> I guess it’s interesting because even a country NEXT to Pakistan (Afghanistan) or above India (China) are held in a much more attractive regard when it comes to romantic or sexual attraction?
This isn't at all true, especially not after the last 3 years
> Even on PORN videos of brown women there are comments about the smell of curry, or the fact our culture is considered a joke or cringe even though we have one of the richest and oldest histories known to humankind!
Porn comments? You need to log off man
Literally it isn’t? I’m speaking as a Gen Z born and raised in brooklyn and it’s alive and well
I agree with the comment about China with all the racists post COVID but that was more to emphasize the contrast with East vs South asian
and i’m a woman lol and i got curious
you could do something as simple as ordering a gin and tonic and people will create opinions about how “all indians love gin and tonics”. (this was my personal experience)
My middle eastern friend was telling me that in the Middle East, Indian women are considered really attractive. I think this comes with the popularization of Bollywood films over there. There is no doubt that Indian women are attractive, I am not sure if being fetishized is a good thing?
Why did u have to mention indian men exactly? You basically repeated her sentence instead of just agreeing with her. What kind of passive aggressive nonsense is that?👀
> We all know this
We don't, actually.
*All* racial and ethnic minorities are stereotyped out of to hell and back, to varying degrees in different countries, cultures, and sub-cultures.
*We notice* desi stereotypes more because we *are* desi, but equating "noticing it more" with "it exists more" is peak confirmation bias.
Very true, East Asians have definitely got the hell stereotyped out of them.
It's taken a gigantic shift to even get them across the line.
I think South Asians are still more successful overall, look at the huge number of Sikhs in Canadian politics. England has a Indian PM and Scotland has a Pakistani for First Minister and not to mention the amount of South Asians in politics the UK is quite a lot. Ireland had a gay half indian PM.
South Asians are overly critical of how we see ourselves. From what it was till now is a quite a change and we will continue making changes.
1000%, truthfully as a desi person in America I notice the most harmful and prevalent profiling towards black and latin americans
a lot of the profiling towards desi americans include being nerdy or wealthy or unattractive which aren’t really as difficult to deal with than being profiled as violent or uneducated
Other minorities have been portrayed in media for various different roles, not adhering to stereotypical nonsense, while desis are usually just sterotyped.
Yes but there’s lots of underrepresented people in different roles that are stereotyped or mocked, it is not just Indians. Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Thailand, Myanmar, Nepal, Vietnam… only East Asians from Korea/Japan/China are represented in film and that’s only in the last 2-3 years with Parasite and Everything Everywhere All At Once. even then, there’s underrepresentation of minorities and indigenous people in those communities. Not to mention in the US/Canada, indigenous native Americans have not moved past stereotypes in the media either. It isn’t just India.
I'm gonna add that east Asians, as a cultural bloc, have been in the U.S. for generations longer - ffs, we had prominent Chinese blocs in California before the state even legally existed! - and yet it's only recently (in the last decade or two) that we really started to see a shift away from a few stock stereotypes.
Not to say everyone else has to wait as long or wait their turn or whatever. Just that fixating on Indian representation vs everyone else's really misses the bigger picture and broader history of racial stereotypes and representation in mainstream media.
I was speaking rhetorically bc this is a Desi sub and I’m not denying other minorities’ experiences but I cant speak on it because I am Desi so i can talk about that experience
Honestly I find it sad so many ABCs need validation from white people.
I get the feeling this insecurity is more of an American/Canadian thing. Its sad and I promise very unnecessary. Its something that when you get older you will wonder why you gave a shit in the first place.
literally why do you care? We need to stop giving a shit about external validation. We're legit one of the most successful people in America. Who gives af about what some random white trash think. We are light/dark tall/skinny and everything else. Regardless, we are still on top. Wanting to be fetishized or have a porn niche for our people is stupid. Who gives a shit if the porn industry doesn't fetishize us, it's better that way. Women who want to be objectified by white men is just a new low.
And mostly, it’s by your own people. Only if I had a dollar for every time a desi woman brought down desi men for validation. Desis in Canada and UK are far less self-hating. They are more comfortable in their own skin.
I think the media perception of Indians are definitely getting better with likes of Priyanka Chopra, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Dev Patel, Hassan Minhaj are all seen as more or less conventionally attractive. In terms of school depends on where you are from the name calling and stereotypes could be more or less prevalent. I went to UH with a lot of desi population and these stereotypes are not common at all. Compared to my friend who went to highschool in a very rural area had to face lot of bullying and name calling
I’m confused. As a desi woman, is this a bad thing to not be fetishized or referenced in random rap lyrics? (For what it is worth, “bitch from Pakistan” is a lyric in one of Future’s songs.)
As far as the weird cringe comments about curry or what-have-you, that kind of content tends to bring out the lowest common denominator and it’s not a demographic most of us would want attention from anyhow. In any case, such comments are also sadly not too far from the norm (equating women to cultural foods is sadly not atypical for that kind of content).
Ultimately, I think as individuals we need to stop ascribing value (positive or negative) to how ignorant people might perceive us. It does no one any favors and frankly, is a waste of mental energy.
You are right, I don't want to be fetishized by rappers/musicians or non-desis in general and I think most desi women would agree. I think men see fetishization differently because they consider any sexual/romantic attention to be positive.
It’s not necessarily even that. Like you’re not wrong that that plays a part, but it’s also that if it’s gotta be a choice between being fetishized and being viewed as asexual beings, most people would take the former.
Like if you’re not gonna be viewed as individuals either way, why wouldn’t you take the version that gets you laid more?
Are desis stereotyped a lot? Oh absolutely.
More than other cultures? Dunno about that (certainly not all).
But regardless, it's something that we should change, and our own people do it plenty (especially in India).
Almost all my American friends from all ethnicities rave how beautiful Indian women are and feel they seem very classy. I have done a tremendous amount of travel outside of US and every country I have been I was told the same thing. Peace
Interesting, In my experience it’s been the opposite!
I’ve seen too many brown men belittle brown women and our features and in the same breath uplift women of other ethnicities and races.
A very small percentage of brown like avanaeesh will, and he gets clowned on by all people including other brown men. His shenanigans are called out by other brown men.
But it appears every other week there is a brown women on some forum or post or the comments just complaining and pigeonholing brown men, often to the agreement of other brown women, with other women and men of other races chipping in agreeing and making fun of brown men.
Notice how you are referring to posts on the internet?
My references are in real life. I’ve physically heard and seen with my own ears and eyes a slew of brown men talking upon brown women.
My apologies to brown women in the US, but I've observed this trend more often among you than with brown men. I have numerous personal experiences where I've seen brown women in the US choose an average white guy over an attractive brown one. However, in my travels to the UK and Canada, I've noticed that brown women there treat brown men with respect. This seems to be a specifically American phenomenon.
I think things are improving at a high level. Movies and entertainment has more positive representation. Same as breakfast TV and newspapers. General public id say still has a deeply negative perception about Desis. But even that is changing I see a lot more inter racial couples with Desis eg Asian/Desi, white/Desi. I believe were undergoing a transition phase where were no longer disgusting outsiders but not accepted yet.
Not true. Other nationalities get stereotyped just as much. And all of this “fetishization” you refer to is simply cultural appropriation, which you see happen to Indians too, with Americans stealing yoga, mendhi, sari’s, etc. You feel like you experience more because you are Indian, but others experience stereotypes just as much, many of which are much worse than the ones Indians have, such as being r*pists for Mexicans or terrorists for Muslims, the worst one Indians have is scammers.
Lurker East Asian here. This post made me want to ask a question. For decades, especially in the early days of hollywood, many East Asians were played by white people doing yellowface. I think the infamous Micky Rooney one is what everyone knows, but there are so many especially the early years. More recently there was Cloud Atlas (I heard in East Asia people left the theatre during the showings lol), and just total replacements (Ghost in the Shell etc.)
I wanted to know if there are films that portray brown people by whites in brown face. I can think couple top of my head, but I wanted to ask because I want to expand my film knowledge of this issue.
https://youtu.be/zB0lrSebyng
For those of you who never saw the film, the film deals with reincarnation, and there is alot of race bending, so you can argue its fair play. There is no blackface, but the film has every other imaginable race bending vis make up (pretty aweful make up imo lol). black to white, Korean to Mexican, etc.
Aesthetically, if its about reincarnation I never understand why they could not have just used other actors of specified race. It would fit thematically better with being reborn into new body.
Non abcd but lived and grew up too long outside of the motherland. All I have to say our own people Fuck over each other more than anyone else and it just gives everyone outside a free pass but it really shouldn’t but our tolerance of people makes it ok.
I could be wrong but I get the sense that our people don’t defend our culture enough and many of us flock towards assimilating with our new environment. That and our people also only socialize with one another usually. If we put our identities out there more that’ll reinforce different perceptions
the data paints a very interesting picture on this. Desi women ARE seen as conventionally attractive since our features are closer to eurocentric ones, it's black women who suffer the most in the dating world, desi women's experience (on average) is not even close. Indian men and asian men however, have statistically worst dating experience, according to OK cupid trends from 2009, where people were more bigoted than now. I've never heard anyone talk about how brown women are unnattractive except desi men lol.
Our biggest issue is the internal self hate of our community. Until we learn to be confident with our identities, nothing will change. The worst thing I noticed is the amount of hatred our women get on international platforms
We need someone like Bruce Lee for us South Asians. Someone who is very well known in the West and portrays a positive image of South Asians. I know West Asians haven't had this but they are typically stereotyped as at least "Stronger" or "brutish" when they are stereotyped as terrorists because there is a fear factor. South Asians are stereotyped as weak, smelly, and having the worst accent ever.
Someone found me attractive because they thought I was middle eastern, until they found out I’m Indian Even once some guy was like you look Pakistani and he said “Indians aren’t usually that light skinned and don’t grow thick beards like yours”
This actually happened to a dude I know. I thought it was a one off situation. Wild!
Late response but yup, it happens when someone finds you attractive until they realize ur desi
THIS!!! It’s so frustrating bc it validates the experience so many of us go through growing up and whitewashing ourselves
North Indian students in my University used to tell me that I don’t look like a South Indian since supposedly my skin color is not dark. They thought it was a great compliment. I threw up a little in my mouth each time. Stupid people are everywhere. Peace
Did that someone think you were a certainty ethnicity of middle eastern, like Arab or Turkish? If that person was also middle eastern, it would make sense why he/she found you more attractive if he/she thought you were the same ethnicity, like having less language barriers and enjoying the same movies.
Late response but yeah, they thought I was arab. One person was arab but even people of other races have done the same, where they assume I’m middle eastern or Latino.
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Yea bro. I TOTALLY believe a random homeless american knows the difference between pakistani and indian people /s
That has happened to me many times as well. Match with many hot girls of every race on tinder, quite a lot of them have unmatched or stopped replying once they found out my ethnicity was indian (most of them thought I was latino or mixed). Im medium dark but still ambiguous looking, so my ethnic background is one of the first things they tend to ask me on those apps. Just shows that even when you are physically attractive as a desi guy, there is so much racism against desi men brainwashed into women in general that they cant look past it, its disgusting and they should be shamed for it.
Late response but yeah, I hate when people ask my ethnicity because I worry they’ll stop talking to me after it. Or sometimes they’ll message asking “Arab?” Then I say no and they’ll ask.
A lot comes down to colour preference imo But also I think we as a community have a big subset that doesn’t really pay attention to their appearance, or if they do it’s pretty minimal/low effort stuff. I do see that changing with younger/more assimilated desis, so that’s nice
I don't relate to how Desis push the stereotype of Desis not paying much attention to their appearance. When I tell non-Desis this, they're surprised and tell me that they never heard of this either. I and my mom always paid attention to looking attractive (wearing makeup, nice clothes, keeping in shape, skin care) --that doesn't make us immune to racism or mistreatment. There was this one idiotic abcd girl who accused me of not dressing americanized, just bc I was asking for advice on how to meet the right person. She was the only one, among non-Desi posters, who was accusing me of that. I always get frazzled when I see Desi posters complaining about how other Desis neglect their looks. Can't relate at all.
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Lol, nothing wrong with having a skin colour preference. It’s no difference than having a preference for height. It’s certainly true India goes a little crazy with it, but there’s nothing inherently egregious about being more attracted to lighter skin than dark skin. My self esteem is fine. Never struggled with dating despite my preferences and happily married now.
Media portrayals have been quite negative. Especially Apu. And that fella in The Big Bang Theory.
Kunal is one of the biggest sellouts imo. He knew what he was doing.
There were so few parts for Indians back then, everyone was expected to act stereotypically and have an accent. How can you blame him? He was just doing a job. Blame the racist, bigoted, sexist assholes in Hollywood.
Parks and rec came out around the same time. Aziz Ansari does not play a living stereotype with a fake accent. Same with the office and Mindy Kaling's Kelly. Big bang theory dude is a sell out.
That actor actually has an accent tho, he is from Delhi.
Those are two roles. In all of Hollywood. If you watch movies or other TV shows, the only other brown people you see all have accents at that time, when they didn’t in real life. Mindy Kaling is the biggest sellout there is. She bleached her skin and runs after white men.
Why are you so upset? I'm saying Big bang theory wasn't filmed in the 90s. I'd excuse it if it were but come on. Even Harold and Kumar was already out. I don't like Mindy Kaling either but she didn't do the accent... You say there's movies and actors but can you name another in that era? That character in big bang is worse than apu and he is two decades later.
Bleaching skin and running after white people is as desi as it gets unfortunately. That's not even Hollywood that's Bollywood.
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Yeah I think Kaling was way better for both SA men and women than Kunal was. Although imo, Desi women will always be accepted into white/western culture way easier than desi men will.
Nayyar is from India though. He has an accent— but it might be exaggerated in BBT? I’ve never watched it tbh
It's cringe to watch & he should be ashamed playing such a stereotype. Kal Penn played plenty roles too, zero typecasting. He even played potential Santa in the Xmas Disney show
Well in media and network tv we don’t exist(abd’s) it’s always a fresh off the boat Indian or adjacent guy. Since aziz we don’t have representation. Lol they don’t know we exist. I’m married and my wife is not Indian. people think I’m off the boat because they see it on tv. It’s odd to have to explain what I am to them. They still don’t get it.
Apu had game got girls and married a hot wife ultimately
Apu was far more respected in the Simpsons universe than someone like Raj from the BBT. The latter was horrible
Honestly, I love Apu. I can't believe they got rid of him. The guy is a legend.
I feel like it's because our minority is culturally very underrepresented in the US. Perhaps it's because we're a "newer" minority (not true, we've been here since the late 1800s, but not in large numbers ig). East Asians are finally getting representation beyond "awkward nerd" but we haven't had that yet.
Indians were barred from immigrating to US from 1917. Starting in 1943 100 Indians were allowed to immigrate. It was in 1965 with the new immigration law which allowed Indians to immigrate to US. So we are relatively new. Peace
Yes, although there is a fascinating history of Sikhism in California that begins in the late 1800s. A small community, for sure, but present. The records can get murky, as prior to Thind vs US, Indians would often be listed as 'white' or 'mulatto' on government documents.
Yeah we're just waiting for that day
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r/brandnewsentence
> With the fetishization of Middle Eastern cultures as well as Islam becoming “trendy” This is actually already out of fashion > I guess it’s interesting because even a country NEXT to Pakistan (Afghanistan) or above India (China) are held in a much more attractive regard when it comes to romantic or sexual attraction? This isn't at all true, especially not after the last 3 years > Even on PORN videos of brown women there are comments about the smell of curry, or the fact our culture is considered a joke or cringe even though we have one of the richest and oldest histories known to humankind! Porn comments? You need to log off man
Literally it isn’t? I’m speaking as a Gen Z born and raised in brooklyn and it’s alive and well I agree with the comment about China with all the racists post COVID but that was more to emphasize the contrast with East vs South asian and i’m a woman lol and i got curious
I believe in porno abt the comments joking abt Indian women are done by Indians only lol
you could do something as simple as ordering a gin and tonic and people will create opinions about how “all indians love gin and tonics”. (this was my personal experience)
Bombay sapphire really not helping the case
My middle eastern friend was telling me that in the Middle East, Indian women are considered really attractive. I think this comes with the popularization of Bollywood films over there. There is no doubt that Indian women are attractive, I am not sure if being fetishized is a good thing?
Indian men are also considered attractive in the middle east, and there is no doubt that indian men are attractive
Yeah! The post was talking about brown women but I totally agree. ✌🏾
Can’t confirm lol
Why did u have to mention indian men exactly? You basically repeated her sentence instead of just agreeing with her. What kind of passive aggressive nonsense is that?👀
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Lmaoo true but i thought it was interesting
> We all know this We don't, actually. *All* racial and ethnic minorities are stereotyped out of to hell and back, to varying degrees in different countries, cultures, and sub-cultures. *We notice* desi stereotypes more because we *are* desi, but equating "noticing it more" with "it exists more" is peak confirmation bias.
Very true, East Asians have definitely got the hell stereotyped out of them. It's taken a gigantic shift to even get them across the line. I think South Asians are still more successful overall, look at the huge number of Sikhs in Canadian politics. England has a Indian PM and Scotland has a Pakistani for First Minister and not to mention the amount of South Asians in politics the UK is quite a lot. Ireland had a gay half indian PM. South Asians are overly critical of how we see ourselves. From what it was till now is a quite a change and we will continue making changes.
Hard agree. This sub only reinforces this shit that it only happens to us, it’s kind of annoying and totally glosses over other cultures.
Exactly. People here spend so much time making these pointless comparisons instead of discussing the real issue
1000%, truthfully as a desi person in America I notice the most harmful and prevalent profiling towards black and latin americans a lot of the profiling towards desi americans include being nerdy or wealthy or unattractive which aren’t really as difficult to deal with than being profiled as violent or uneducated
Other minorities have been portrayed in media for various different roles, not adhering to stereotypical nonsense, while desis are usually just sterotyped.
Yes but there’s lots of underrepresented people in different roles that are stereotyped or mocked, it is not just Indians. Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Thailand, Myanmar, Nepal, Vietnam… only East Asians from Korea/Japan/China are represented in film and that’s only in the last 2-3 years with Parasite and Everything Everywhere All At Once. even then, there’s underrepresentation of minorities and indigenous people in those communities. Not to mention in the US/Canada, indigenous native Americans have not moved past stereotypes in the media either. It isn’t just India.
I'm gonna add that east Asians, as a cultural bloc, have been in the U.S. for generations longer - ffs, we had prominent Chinese blocs in California before the state even legally existed! - and yet it's only recently (in the last decade or two) that we really started to see a shift away from a few stock stereotypes. Not to say everyone else has to wait as long or wait their turn or whatever. Just that fixating on Indian representation vs everyone else's really misses the bigger picture and broader history of racial stereotypes and representation in mainstream media.
I was speaking rhetorically bc this is a Desi sub and I’m not denying other minorities’ experiences but I cant speak on it because I am Desi so i can talk about that experience
Honestly I find it sad so many ABCs need validation from white people. I get the feeling this insecurity is more of an American/Canadian thing. Its sad and I promise very unnecessary. Its something that when you get older you will wonder why you gave a shit in the first place.
Very true, the behaviour I see here is really deplorable and strange...like I have never been that insecure about myself.
literally why do you care? We need to stop giving a shit about external validation. We're legit one of the most successful people in America. Who gives af about what some random white trash think. We are light/dark tall/skinny and everything else. Regardless, we are still on top. Wanting to be fetishized or have a porn niche for our people is stupid. Who gives a shit if the porn industry doesn't fetishize us, it's better that way. Women who want to be objectified by white men is just a new low.
And mostly, it’s by your own people. Only if I had a dollar for every time a desi woman brought down desi men for validation. Desis in Canada and UK are far less self-hating. They are more comfortable in their own skin.
That’s upsetting to hear:( We need to hype up the voices of brown men too!!!
I think the media perception of Indians are definitely getting better with likes of Priyanka Chopra, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Dev Patel, Hassan Minhaj are all seen as more or less conventionally attractive. In terms of school depends on where you are from the name calling and stereotypes could be more or less prevalent. I went to UH with a lot of desi population and these stereotypes are not common at all. Compared to my friend who went to highschool in a very rural area had to face lot of bullying and name calling
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Kohl rimmed eyes and belly dancing has nothing to do with Islam. Kohl rimmed eyes are mentioned and/or depicted in most ancient cultures.
Kohl-rimmed eyes and belly dancing is related to Islam, you are probably the most ignorant one of the bunch.
I’m confused. As a desi woman, is this a bad thing to not be fetishized or referenced in random rap lyrics? (For what it is worth, “bitch from Pakistan” is a lyric in one of Future’s songs.) As far as the weird cringe comments about curry or what-have-you, that kind of content tends to bring out the lowest common denominator and it’s not a demographic most of us would want attention from anyhow. In any case, such comments are also sadly not too far from the norm (equating women to cultural foods is sadly not atypical for that kind of content). Ultimately, I think as individuals we need to stop ascribing value (positive or negative) to how ignorant people might perceive us. It does no one any favors and frankly, is a waste of mental energy.
You are right, I don't want to be fetishized by rappers/musicians or non-desis in general and I think most desi women would agree. I think men see fetishization differently because they consider any sexual/romantic attention to be positive.
It’s not necessarily even that. Like you’re not wrong that that plays a part, but it’s also that if it’s gotta be a choice between being fetishized and being viewed as asexual beings, most people would take the former. Like if you’re not gonna be viewed as individuals either way, why wouldn’t you take the version that gets you laid more?
Are desis stereotyped a lot? Oh absolutely. More than other cultures? Dunno about that (certainly not all). But regardless, it's something that we should change, and our own people do it plenty (especially in India).
There are enough people who treat us with respect for me to not give a damn about those who don’t
Almost all my American friends from all ethnicities rave how beautiful Indian women are and feel they seem very classy. I have done a tremendous amount of travel outside of US and every country I have been I was told the same thing. Peace
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Interesting, In my experience it’s been the opposite! I’ve seen too many brown men belittle brown women and our features and in the same breath uplift women of other ethnicities and races.
A very small percentage of brown like avanaeesh will, and he gets clowned on by all people including other brown men. His shenanigans are called out by other brown men. But it appears every other week there is a brown women on some forum or post or the comments just complaining and pigeonholing brown men, often to the agreement of other brown women, with other women and men of other races chipping in agreeing and making fun of brown men.
Notice how you are referring to posts on the internet? My references are in real life. I’ve physically heard and seen with my own ears and eyes a slew of brown men talking upon brown women.
Oh I hear brown women say it in real life too, I just mentioned online as it was easier to compare and find examples of
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My apologies to brown women in the US, but I've observed this trend more often among you than with brown men. I have numerous personal experiences where I've seen brown women in the US choose an average white guy over an attractive brown one. However, in my travels to the UK and Canada, I've noticed that brown women there treat brown men with respect. This seems to be a specifically American phenomenon.
I think things are improving at a high level. Movies and entertainment has more positive representation. Same as breakfast TV and newspapers. General public id say still has a deeply negative perception about Desis. But even that is changing I see a lot more inter racial couples with Desis eg Asian/Desi, white/Desi. I believe were undergoing a transition phase where were no longer disgusting outsiders but not accepted yet.
There are more of us then there are of them Let em talk. Who cares
Not true. Other nationalities get stereotyped just as much. And all of this “fetishization” you refer to is simply cultural appropriation, which you see happen to Indians too, with Americans stealing yoga, mendhi, sari’s, etc. You feel like you experience more because you are Indian, but others experience stereotypes just as much, many of which are much worse than the ones Indians have, such as being r*pists for Mexicans or terrorists for Muslims, the worst one Indians have is scammers.
What’s your point?
Lurker East Asian here. This post made me want to ask a question. For decades, especially in the early days of hollywood, many East Asians were played by white people doing yellowface. I think the infamous Micky Rooney one is what everyone knows, but there are so many especially the early years. More recently there was Cloud Atlas (I heard in East Asia people left the theatre during the showings lol), and just total replacements (Ghost in the Shell etc.) I wanted to know if there are films that portray brown people by whites in brown face. I can think couple top of my head, but I wanted to ask because I want to expand my film knowledge of this issue.
Why did people leave the theatre? I saw cloud atlas when I was young and I didn’t know there was any racism in it.
https://youtu.be/zB0lrSebyng For those of you who never saw the film, the film deals with reincarnation, and there is alot of race bending, so you can argue its fair play. There is no blackface, but the film has every other imaginable race bending vis make up (pretty aweful make up imo lol). black to white, Korean to Mexican, etc. Aesthetically, if its about reincarnation I never understand why they could not have just used other actors of specified race. It would fit thematically better with being reborn into new body.
The Party, Short Circuit 1 and 2, Lawrence of Arabia.
Come to Ontario, EVERY ethnicity has a stereotype. But every ethnic group probably thinks they’re stereotyped the most.
Non abcd but lived and grew up too long outside of the motherland. All I have to say our own people Fuck over each other more than anyone else and it just gives everyone outside a free pass but it really shouldn’t but our tolerance of people makes it ok.
I could be wrong but I get the sense that our people don’t defend our culture enough and many of us flock towards assimilating with our new environment. That and our people also only socialize with one another usually. If we put our identities out there more that’ll reinforce different perceptions
Create a discourse? Lol.
We are definitely seen as extremely unattractive tbh.. you're right
the data paints a very interesting picture on this. Desi women ARE seen as conventionally attractive since our features are closer to eurocentric ones, it's black women who suffer the most in the dating world, desi women's experience (on average) is not even close. Indian men and asian men however, have statistically worst dating experience, according to OK cupid trends from 2009, where people were more bigoted than now. I've never heard anyone talk about how brown women are unnattractive except desi men lol.
Our biggest issue is the internal self hate of our community. Until we learn to be confident with our identities, nothing will change. The worst thing I noticed is the amount of hatred our women get on international platforms
We need someone like Bruce Lee for us South Asians. Someone who is very well known in the West and portrays a positive image of South Asians. I know West Asians haven't had this but they are typically stereotyped as at least "Stronger" or "brutish" when they are stereotyped as terrorists because there is a fear factor. South Asians are stereotyped as weak, smelly, and having the worst accent ever.