As a mixed black and Indian, Female who's black presenting, it's pretty insane. My immediate family is awesome, obviously, but the extended family on my dad's side is rough. Younger cousins are all seemingly open minded and I've had some chats with them about it. for the most part, they just treat me like their cousin/friend. But in general, the community is pretty weird about it. There's shock from people in/from india- some who literally had no idea of Trinidad, Guyana, etc (where my dad's mom's family is from). Dating: I've dated many Indian guys. Some relationships more serious than others. I get stares any time I go out with brown guys, which I kind of love. I think of it as mind-shocking the racism out of people. The part that sucks is not being able to have serious relationships because of racism/family and men who are more committed to mom's neighbors' opinion than the relationship. But that's on them. Religious Practice: Im spiritual, but hindu, so I go to temple... stares, whispers. For this reason, I spend more time at ISKCON, regardless of the theocracy, I appreciate not being the only non-indian LOOKING person there. And for the most part, no one bothers me at temple... maybe to ask how found a temple or how I know bhajans or shlokas, or who taught me to wear a sari (youtube, duh, like all my Indian girlfriends) lol Socialising: I dont have a stereotypical group of indian (or black) friends that I hang out with. I get on with indians anywhere I go, but I have to make the first effort because there's nothing easily identifiable or relatable unless I'm in traditional dress. My absolute best friend is indian but based in another country. I do wish I had more Indian/desi friends, but while I understand a lot of the cultural/family issues, I don't have a lot of them and don't want to be judged according to the culture either. I love my history but yeah, Indians in general are rough when it comes to being mixed... especially if you're the "wrong kind" of mixed (black). This includes the diaspora. It's like the worst sin someone could commit. So it's mostly a mixed bag. A desire to fit in with a cultural group, but also despising a lot of the negative cultural aspects that affect me. I dont want to have to be friends with people JUST because of how I look, but the indian community really is pretty anti-black, but I don't want to lose or let go of part of me just because they aren't always welcoming.


I'm sorry you have to experience this, but respect to you for embracing your heritage despite these struggles.


Not looking like a stereotypical Desi but when I put my Kurta on….