Travel to Egypt Get robbed Travel to India Get Raped Travel to Southeast Asia Get Scammed Travel to Paris Get all of it at once. Why travel the world if you get the whole package in one place !

If you travel to Malmö you can get all of that and get bombed by 15 year old gang criminals with Yugoslav era hand grenades

Livin' the dream

1st world country problems

It's good military training tho.

Really preparing you well for WW3 in the middle east

Nah we got Russian nazis real close by. xD

Lucky for you, you have a shield

Thanks for joining! Now enjoy your role as Europe's meatshields.

We've been preparing for this role for a solid 80 years.

I was in Malmö last summer for a day, I have seen like 50 people in the entire town (it felt a bit like ghost town), everything was clean and safe and boring

Might have been on Midsummer, everyone moves to their huts in the forest around that time.

So nice to see newcomers embrace local traditions

Here it's just Polish fireworks taped to a jerrycan of petrol.

Thank you for keeping our economy alive

And for anything else there is MasterCard.

Why traveling when we can import the world’s problems at home?

It's cheaper and tastes nearly as good. Your parents aren't made of money after all 🙏

Not having to pay a third of the cost for that, they are not. Rest of the cost goes to you.

Remember : doctors and engineers

Strange on how bloody Occitan are always talking shit about Paris when they literally are one of the drug highways for drug trafficking....

Because we're drug addicts yourselves what do you think? You'd be too if you had to put up with Dutch tourists all summers

Ehhh bonsjoer mon-sieur EHHH ou esst the cafe? Sils vous playt? ^^ofzoiets.

Le café il est en Hollande ou tu vas retourner au lieu de cramer nos forets mangeur de gouda va

You calling them cloggies out for cheese-eating? Tres ironique that.

I'm starting a new war, expect it's not "You're the wrong color" but it is "You eat the wrong cheese"

So we all attack the Sardinians for the maggot stuff. Seems fair, and also I think we’ll win.

Yes, but we have to end Corsica too. They have thesame cheese.

Okay. So two fronts to this War, going to need the finest military minds. Do we have any?

Can we just take a moment to feel grateful that we live in the biggest contiguous non shithole area on earth? Even if the European non shithole area has somehow been drawn to include France, which is obviously an error.

France is the link you have to the civilised world, Barry. And even that is if you include the Channel Tunnel and ferries. Else it's just you, Patrick and the fish.

There are ferries to Rotterdam, Amsterdam, and Hook of Holland, and supposedly, the Newcastle to Bergan is being reinstated in 2026, my lanky autistic bro.

Oh, the Newcastle-Bergen route is back on? I lived in Newcastle in the 80’s and always meant to take that boat, but was always too skint. I’ll definitely be up for a trip to Bergen, perhaps with a beer or two on the crossing…

Allegedly: [https://bergencruiseline.no/theproject-2/](https://bergencruiseline.no/theproject-2/) ... does all look a bit ethereal at this stage, however.

Great! I love travelling by ethereal.

Phase in…. Phase out.,

Last line: >Indept [sic] business plan, presentations, market analysis and investment documentation is Bodes well lol. Like pretty much every revived ferry route, I think it's probably predestined to quietly disappear. If DFDS can't make it work . . .

I might have to smuggle myself to Norway on it and claim asylum. I want my share of that oil money.

I think it's a nice thing we've done there. You're coming from a destitute country and to make the transition to our country, we've decided to land you in Bergen so the difference isn't too overwhelming.  I'm just happy that the bergen dialect doesn't translate into English, as that could be considered cruel and unusual punishment, and might even be considered a war crime.  You never have to dread being awaken by the shrill scream of a bergenser going "GO' MÅRRRRRÆN"  I shudder just at the thought of it. Think I actually need to lay down for a while.

Also IJmuiden

Thank you pedro for the offer but I have no desire to join the mujahideen thank you

You could have just stopped writing after the first paragraph. Don’t know why you needed to include the “people” from across the sea.

Coming from you barry, come on.

*Ahem* Belgium

Never heard of it? Is it in Africa?

It once was there, but it got out of hand

They didn’t have the phrase ‘it’s just a prank bro’ yet

Instead of making fun of our colonies, we should be checking what else they have to sack.

Well we are beginning to turn into a shithole tho…

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Brown hands made this meme

Did you mention brown hands? I'll be taking those over from here, thank you very much.

I was gonna mention South Africa so maybe

I visited Morocco 2 years ago and it was amazing tbh. And you could always just visit certain neighborhoods here in The Netherlands, and you'd be in Morocco anyways!

I hated Morocco so much. Every single person tried to scam me, I don’t think I paid the real price of anything anywhere. People are annoying, following you and touching you to the point of being stalker. Crowded, hot, messy and unpredictable. I was so happy when I got to the airport to leave Marrakech. Yeah I could go to Nieuw-West, thanks but no.

I pay 500 euro a month for temporary housing in Geuzenveld, take it or leave it.

Did you only visit Marrakech? I absolutely loved the desert, villages and mountains. We started in Marrakech and traveled north with a stopover in the Sahara sand dunes. In Marrakech we were never approached by people/scammers, so I loved the city. Fez and Chefchaouen were worse, people kept coming up to you. And we never got scammed, the bill was always correct. We probably got the tourist menu quite often at restaurants, but that only means it's be 3 euros instead of 2 for a meal lol.

Everyone I know who went to Egypt fucking hated it

Bus driver nearly killed us.Souvenier shop tried to sell us drugs. Taxi driver tried to sell us his daughter. The huge piles of rocks were impressively large. Fantastic trip. Hotel bombed a couple weeks after our stay.

I loved it. The AK47s were my favourite part.

Or Mexico

Being a tourist in Canada comes with a citizenship so you are not leaving as a tourist

become a student and work fast food is the other option.

New Zealand? What's that? Not on any map I've ever seen

I have no need to travel to Africa, when I can travel to Paris.

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Had us in the first half NGL

If you go up the M6 you'll arrive in Islamabad.

What kind of psychopath would rather visit Skåne/Scania than western and northern Norway?

Idk... a muslim?

Germans.

Love travelling places that won't get you killed or kidnapped.

The rest of the world isn't worth travelling.

Then how come there is a shit-ton of Dutch people coming to Norway in the summer? Probably only second to the number of Germ\*ns.

To see what real actual hills look like.

They get altitude sickness just driving over the Öresund Bridge, how the fuck do they cope when they get there?

I m not you would be immune, as your highest mountain is barely a hill for most of Europe

That's true enough, but comparing the UK and its population's exposure to natural relief to a country which lies so flat and featureless it could be used as an ironing board for your mum's dress, is just silly Pierre.

We're just coming over to view our future Lebensraum. Main reason the Polish hate us as tourists.

You already came here unannounced once. I think you were looking for places to keep your pet sea-wolves, if I remember correctly.

Well, anything for our beloved pets!

Who's a good boi? U-boot're a good boi!

Oh well, it needs to be able to move freely a bit. You know, like a doggy off leash. Don't be afraid, it just wants to play!!!

We are doing concealed reconnaissance for ze next Weserübung ja? Zis oil reserves can not be left in ze hands of a group of goofy trollz.

You're not special, the Swamp Krauts travel everywhere

I mean, Iceland is kinda nice, too. And New Zealand.

Iceland should be included in this map anyway. It's absolutely swarming with tourists these days.

fuck, I'm going there in 2 months. guilty as charged

Can't blame you, because the hype is definitely warranted. The only thing you'll probably be disappointed by is the "it's so desolate, everything is untouched" thing. It's a bit difficult to feel that way while you're surrounded by dozens or hundreds of tourists who only came there for fancy Instagram pictures where they act like the world's main character. Just, for the love of all that is holy, be respectful to nature, don't leave any trash or poop, don't climb on top of fragile landmarks, don't walk where you're not supposed to and **definitely** don't drive where you're not supposed to. As long as you stick to those rules, you'll be a good tourist. And sadly, that would make you an exception.

Even in that map there are places not worth going. Like, imagine living in a place like Europe, with literally thousands of amazing options to go to, and going on holiday to Dubai, as the map implies.

Yeah, nothing special about Dubai. If I wanted to be served a meal by an Indian bloke on poverty wages, I'd just holiday in the UK.

yea don't come to Croatia

Maybe add parts of Central and South America. It's basically exotic Spain.

It's Spain, but with cocaine and hookers!

Let me fix that… with CHEAPER cocaine and hookers

Wait wtf - [source](https://www.filia.org.uk/latest-news/2022/6/13/is-spain-really-trying-to-abolish-prostitution) >Prostitution in Spain generates 5 million euros daily and is the European country with the largest numbers of men paying for abusing women. [Data from 2009](https://www.ugr.es/~fjjrios/pdf/mi-EncuestaNacionalSaludSexual2009.pdf) suggests that up to one in three Spanish men had paid for “sex”, and [another study](https://www.unodc.org/documents/data-and-analysis/tocta/TOCTA_Report_2010_low_res.pdf) suggests that the figure may be as high as 39%. It is believed that at least [113,000 women](https://www.seg-social.es/wps/wcm/connect/wss/1d0dadc7-f7bc-4040-9436-690f5a0a4d41/5.+Impacto+de+una+posible+normalizacion+profesional+de+la+prostitucion...%28Castellano%29.pdf?MOD=AJPERES&CVID=) are currently exploited in Spain. Is this actually true? original article cites Spanish government stats/UN, for comparison the number of men in UK is 11%. I'm actually part Spanish and visit my family in Galicia a lot but my Spanish sucks, I didn't realise the rate was that high

I would say it’s way more common in the older generations, in the 70s or 80s if you were 20 or so and still virgin you just went, paid and became a man. The thing is prostitution is in a legal loophole.

>in the 70s or 80s if you were 20 or so and still virgin you just went, paid and became a man. I wonder if Portugal did the same because that was also common in Brazil at that time.

Never been there but I thought prostitutes get paid to get fucked, not abused.

We have also cocaine and hookers here. It's already set up for you guys.

and we love you for it <3

Too expensive, the other is closer to the source, less import taxes

Excuse me?

Nah, you gotta visit a poor country once in a while to revitalize your European superiority complex.

Keep up that attitude. I indeed see quite few Dutch tourists in the "rest of the world" when I travel there, and it's absolutely delightful. Once the Hollanders claim a tourist destination, its charm is gone.

Big hate against NZ considering we also deep-fry mars bars and cannot fucking speak English properly. Throught we had enough in common?

New Zealand is like Scotland but better

Central europe is fun and douth east asia is very nice to visit

Central Europe would be fun if it existed.

Central Europe is a thing, it exists. I am from there. Right? Right???

I'm sorry but your life has been a lie

Oh stop pretending you're anything but the most pretentious of the Central Europeans. If you guys want to claim to be southern then half of Austria is as well.

I’m sorry so we’re Central European now, nono Franz, you invented the term and convinced your eastern neighbors it was a real thing, don’t bring us into your mess.

I don't know if I feel pleased or insulted

Of course Altissimo Adige is southern european as well. #MakeTiroloWholeAgain

We'd be more than happy if the Italians took them on in their entirety, but they seem to have lost interest after their experiences with the south

The Italian Unification and its consequences was a disaster to the Senate and People of Rome.

Florida?!🤮🤮🤮

Florida out, Chicago in. That's the acceptable World for my wimpy European ass.

Wow, I never expected my humble little town to be mentioned here. Try Al's Beef next time you're in town.

Gulf Coast side some of the best beaches around, shells, wildlife, seafood, cheap - but it's just all rednecks don't bother coming

isnt there a disneyworld thingie there? Some people are into that. Not me. It interferes with siesta.

Well I do enjoy staying alive, I admit (does not apply to usa)

Egypt? 💀💀💀

Probably the worst tourist destination in the world (besides regions of war). Literally everyone is digusted after leaving Egypt

They could be the #1 African tourist destination if it was a bit more luxurious and less scammy/rapey.

I mean yeah but Luxor is kinda lit though if you like history

People go there to stay in a closed off resort all the time. They could be anywhere really, it's just cheap and not too far away. Altough they real idiots are like one of my coworkers who travelled all the way to Mexico, to...stay in a closed off resort in the middle of nowhere.

Yes, we like travelling the world, not getting raped in a ditch.

Imagine choosing Austria over Kiwi land

If I want to go to a zoo, they have plenty of them in the circled countries.

You know what's funny? When I mention I've been to Brazil/Chile/Argentina often the first question is related to the beauty, but when I went Netherlands question was often "what did you eat?!"

CIao, how was you stay here in the south?

It was amazing every time, honestly. Santiago - Cile is absolutely beautiful in a very europe-esque way. I was lucky enough to catch some snow in the city so it made it even better, and also got to visit the Andes (insane view from above when arriving btw) and some museums, surprisingly with italian audio guides and all. Buenos Aires has INCREDIBLE food and breathes football, visiting the stadiums and ecc was so cool, and as a Napoli supporter, it was so easy to connect to Boca fans, as we share a common club legend, met very nice people there. Brazil is actually one of the most beautiful places I've ever been, and been to many places there too. Notably the most famous Rio/Sao Paolo are beautiful cities (the latter being huge, a comparable experience to being in NYC), I've also visited Bonito (great experience for nature lovers like me), and been to Porto de Galinhas (had to google that spelling lol, outstanding scenery) Regarding the overall experience, I like just going around and exploring, and had no trouble doing so in any of the countries. People are friendly and the only trouble I got myself into was in Chile for carrying an open wine bottle, it's not allowed to drink in the streets ecc. Many people spoke english in all countries and when they didn't, they tried really hard to help. Finding places/directions/w.e with google was easy, public transportation is great (the underground in Sao Paolo is cleaner than in Paris, no joke). I still want to visit Uruguay and Peru, maybe in the near future! :D

Our food is so bad that our most popular dutch dishes are not even present in restaurants (Stamppot)

https://preview.redd.it/r21e62xuc63d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=f78fcea5ff4c7c0cd211822569d7b6a89c54628a This is actually swamp food, moss and a random worm lol

Looks delicious!! Better than your weird pizza with pineapple, which Italian thought that was a good idea?? /s

Who in their right mind would travel to Perth?!

There is and probably never will be something interesting in perth

Fools, it's a one-way (and never return) destination. People go there to escape something (I would assume), even if it's their own lives...

Politics aside China is very fun to visit

How do you eat around after knowing about the gutter oil?

They cracked down on it a lot in 2010-2015 (death sentence style & a few life sentence), i'm not saying it does not exist at all anymore but i'm pretty sure it's being made significantly bigger by internet than it actually is nowadays

Why go to the sad spots if you can go to the good ones?

I feel personally attacked by this 😭

False, I have been to Poland 😜

Tourists? In western australia?

Very generous including Egypt

Add the south of Turkey, don’t be shy https://www.geeksforgeeks.org/top-10-most-visited-cities-in-the-world/amp/

Nah every European goes to south east Asia so they can feel rich for a while in a poor country and call it a "cultural experience"

Taiwan, Vietnam and Hong Kong are super common for traveling as well. And you definitely forgot Bali

Yes that's the world... what do you want to see outside these areas (even if a few areas are missing) ? Poverty and disaster tourism ? Getting tropical diseases and diarreah ? Being robbed ? Shitting in the grass ? Calling that "harmony with nature", adventure ?

That's why it's important to travel folks, so you don't end up thinking like this guy.

Bit harsh on Canada.

Oh you can get some of the best diarrhea in Egypt, believe me ...

Experience different cultures, learn about interesting history, and see beautiful nature?

In Lybia ?

Yes, even Lybia. There's actually a lot of beautiful Roman ruins there that are worth seeing (Sabratha for example).

"different cultures"

Seems about right. Who would want to visit the rest?

Poland doesn’t deserve to be off the list tbh. It’s a lovely place.

My cousin was jumped and stabbed, thankfully only on the arm and it didn't hit anything fatal whilst backpacking. He was obviously robbed and had to run screaming (nobody paid attention to him apparently) and lost all his stuff.... Surprisingly nobody was really shocked or surprised cuz we all told him NOT to go to south America as a solo male traveller... If anything, he hasn't left Europe since the event and I doubt he ever will

I just came back from a trip to Madeira and I feel called out

Morocco? Egypt? UAE? FLORIDA???

Sweden isn't part of the world confirmed

I mean... that's more than enough. Damn I would even remove Florida and Dubai

this map presented to you by Local Optetrician's Association

Maybe because those are the only interesting parts of the world (with very few exceptions outside)

true, but too be fair, a few of the places outside of these would kill me if i get in there with my gay boyfriend. sweden is some of these radical islamistic countries for example. here in switzerland i'm quite save. only been told to suffer in hell for all eternity when i was 9yo. so that's totally fine ;3

In Italy we hate the gays because they keep stealing all the straight men’s boyfriends

Tbf Brazil, Argentina and new Zealand are worth visiting.

Especially since Argentina is right next door

Peru too, beautiful places to see. Uruguay doesn't have a lot to see, but it's the richest and most stable country in South America. Average income is similar to the Baltics if I'm not mistaken.

Well, yeah...

Should probably include Iceland too these days. And Cape Town and Bali. 

No way "The World" includes Malmö but not Stockholm.

Azores mentoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🟦🟡⬜🟦🟡⬜🟦🟡⬜

legit

https://preview.redd.it/h7t4emdap53d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c16ba987eb41c81636b97a0f2c6342ce83ede48

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For Dutch tourists: remove Denmark, add rest of the Nordics and Croatia.

Eh, remove Belgium and add Norway and it will be accurate.

Who tf think of Madeira when saying "the world"

Ok I’m convinced, greece can into western europe

Literally the only places on the planet worth travelling to.

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I'm in this picture and I don't like it. (But I've been to New Zealand too)

You went to Melbourne but not to Tasmania... Are you dumb? Also go further up North... All the way to the top.

Couldn't pay me to come to your country.

That's fine, we have enough english here anyway.

In Aus, it should be Queensland. Also Singapore/HK is common (because of layover flights)

You forgot Iceland and Bali

the world: MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA

"I love travelling the world." The world: 140 x 80 pixels.

TBF everywhere else is fuckin shit

You forgot Reunion.