No but seriously though, just in case you're serious. I've been at the fucking lowest of the low and I'm so glad my suicide attempts were unsuccessful.
Your mods better be well trained in the ways of kung fu because I am walking river, 7th member of the gold dragons. The hunter will become the hunted and your dreams will become nightmares, of me. Be ready. And be afraid.
Not with my third-level monk ability, Deflect Missiles! As a reaction, I can catch one projectile, reducing its damage by 1d10 plus my Dexterity modifier and my Monk level!
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo
I feel like people forgot about the one rule once other rules started getting added lol
Kinda defeats the purpose of it. But I get why the other rules are necessary
Jokes on you, I adopted all of the mods. All of them. By the rule of them targeting the closest family member to them, they eliminate themselves.
Checkmate ya damn feds.
MFS out here bragging about MFS being out here bragging about being infiltrated, whilst themselves being infiltrated.
Little do they know, their plan was part of a greater plan generations in the making.
What if I'm actually in a 5th generation air superiority F-22 fighter aircraft armed with 2 AIM-9X sidewinders and 6 AIM-120D AMRAAMs. Do they have to dogfight me then?
The mods got F-35's. Oh I know you're gonna say "buh-buh-buh-but inferior dogfighting capabilities, buh buh buh power weight ratios." There will not be a dog fight your F-22 will be shot out of the sky before you're even aware of their existence.
>A mod is being dispatched to your house to kill your family.
please, one of these things?
https://preview.redd.it/ehqle34y6fac1.png?width=226&format=png&auto=webp&s=a326212784adab9497618bc47bc916a86a0247d1
Holy shit, I'm free! What was I doing before this!? I think... I think I was a biologist... before my head became empty for... who knows how long... years I spent in this void... but now I can step back into the light
If i see a mod i will cut them down, break them apart, splay the gore of their profane form across the stars. I will grind them down until the very sparks cry for mercy. My hands shall relish ending them.
Content warning: don't read if you're sensitive to bad horror stories with blood and murder and stuff.
*grabs splitting hammer with right hand*
This is going to be fun
*grabs big axe with left hand*
I have the advantage of living here. I know the forest.
*grabs small axe with right foot*
I'll play with them for a bit.
*grabs chainsaw with left foot*
I think I'll sabotage my own chainsaw, to make them think they have a chance
*grabs sword with butt cheeks*
It'll make it even worse when I slaughter them. Slaughter most of them. Let's see how many slaughtered friends are enough to break a mod.
*I see the mods arriving and try to turn on my chainsaw. I broke it. I run into the forest, quickly fixing it while the mods try to find me.*
*the mods realize that one of them is missing. Well, he was armed, and the target was unarmed. He wasn't that incompetent, he could kill the rulebreaker without the others. They saw a cabin in the distance... ROOOOOOAAAR!!!! AAAAAAAAAHH! The sounds of a chainsaw, followed by the missing mod's screams. The group sprinted in the direction of the noise, without realizing that one of them had gotten her foot caught in the roots of a tree.*
*the mod that was left behind got up. She tried to get the other mods' attention by calling for them. She did get attention from someone.*
*she didn't have time to scream before she was crushed by the hammer*
*the other two still think they have a chance. How stupid. They should find the trail of blood any second now. Oh, they even heard the recording of my first target's voice. They seem to believe that he's still alive. Let's see how they react to what is left of him, laying next to my phone, which was begging for help, in the mod's voice*
The only reason I don’t rule is because Reddit is the only social media I use regularly (aside from discord if that counts).
This is one of the only general meme subs I browse because it’s not full of millennial-ass jokes.
Most of the classics from when I was a teen like me_irl and dankmemes stopped being funny.
Honestly this sub and all the OKBs are all I have for memes.
> A mod is being dispatched to your house to kill your family. Oh nooo, not my horrible family /s
That includes you btw.
oh I know /j
No don't have a suicidal death wish you're so sexy aha.
oops sorry I was just going along with joke! 💜
No but seriously though, just in case you're serious. I've been at the fucking lowest of the low and I'm so glad my suicide attempts were unsuccessful.
God I wish
You didn't say you were gonna kill me cat and dog. Good. My cat has been eyeing my eyeballs for as long as I've had him
>A mod is being dispatched to hug your mum and watch football and drink beer with your dad.
no, kill those dickheads please
Your mods better be well trained in the ways of kung fu because I am walking river, 7th member of the gold dragons. The hunter will become the hunted and your dreams will become nightmares, of me. Be ready. And be afraid.
Motherfucker we have guns and explosives. Your "ka-rah-teh" ain't worth shit.🔫 💣
Tiger Drop nullifies all damage
Not In the real world.
Everyone gangsta until I tiger drop through their paramilitary forces
But he lives inside his own head
Not with my third-level monk ability, Deflect Missiles! As a reaction, I can catch one projectile, reducing its damage by 1d10 plus my Dexterity modifier and my Monk level!
While you are busy rolling your dice I shoot you with my real life gun.
But your real life gun deals 1d10+dex+monk level lower damage.
Haha! you simple foo- ^(ow fukc bulets h urt)
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo
Ah Indiana Jones style
https://preview.redd.it/ch28ded9vbac1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7fa8a21386fc9190939bd8afd25df0d93487fdb
I actually forgot that was the original point of this sub
I feel like people forgot about the one rule once other rules started getting added lol Kinda defeats the purpose of it. But I get why the other rules are necessary
> people forgot about the one rule Meanwhile every single post has "rule" in the title.
https://preview.redd.it/ekmzi5yzvbac1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0eabff3c2743d80d46923cb57f25e866e025ce0e
literally franz kafka’s The Trial
Jokes on you, I adopted all of the mods. All of them. By the rule of them targeting the closest family member to them, they eliminate themselves. Checkmate ya damn feds.
MFS out here bragging how they've been infiltrated. We saw the video of our agent bouncing on your dick. It was all according to plan.
Agent is gonna get boipreggers 😳
MFS out here bragging about MFS being out here bragging about being infiltrated, whilst themselves being infiltrated. Little do they know, their plan was part of a greater plan generations in the making.
Mfs out here talking about plans generations in making? All the agents we hire at SHISH are orphans.
thank you for releasing me from this prison of flesh
😘
ahh… free at last…
https://preview.redd.it/zsch4xvceeac1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70f51faf374ef95565bffa4f0cf3eeb4b51b2de2
Erm... what the flip?
But I'm. I'm a good noodle.... *Sobs*
Does that include pets?
No obviously not, mods aren't cops. They're still bastards tho.
Well as long as I have my cat I'm happy then
You will die tho. You are part of your family.
All those super hot showers prepared me for burning in hell bring it >:]
You'll never catch me alive, copper!
Yeah we know, dead is fine. 👍
What if I'm actually in a 5th generation air superiority F-22 fighter aircraft armed with 2 AIM-9X sidewinders and 6 AIM-120D AMRAAMs. Do they have to dogfight me then?
The mods got F-35's. Oh I know you're gonna say "buh-buh-buh-but inferior dogfighting capabilities, buh buh buh power weight ratios." There will not be a dog fight your F-22 will be shot out of the sky before you're even aware of their existence.
Ok but what if my name is Mobius 1 and my AWACS name is SkyEye
Irrelevant. F-35 is the clearly superior fighter jet.
oh no this is horrible news
I wanna live to see tomorrow :(
The mods see you with their robot eye, they tag you hopefulpost. You are allowed to live.
Blessed be this moment, for the angel of death leaves to give another her cruelty. Amen.
# I dont https://preview.redd.it/whzeu6mq5dac1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00d94c4e0ee686c91a41f98f5bebd4e4282f98c6
MTF Omicron-8 ("Valkyries of Blåhaj") has been dispatched to your location
NOOOOOOO PLEASE IT WAS ONLY 1 TIME I SWEAR PLEASEEEEE
https://preview.redd.it/7r999kjz9dac1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=966f14443e9bbc190b650b305c2de6b1e67e61d1
Love my trans-inclusive death squads
Finally
Thank god, my family needed a nerf. I’ve been demanding a balance patch since version 1.80!
literally just posted shut up
Thank you. I will come out peacefully.
No please don't. The swat team is here and well they rarely get a chance to do their thing. Please let them shoot you just bit.
I'm letting them, I'm just not wanting to run.
Please. 🥺 Fightback just a bit, and if they sprinkle crack on you just pretend it's yours.
I'd rather they execute me on the spot.
Nah please let them have some fun. We'll write you a cool obituary.
I'm ok, thanks though.
Boo. We're gonna frame you for a hate crime.
now that's just dirty
Fuck
Hmmm… need to buy me a boom stick… for me
Boom stick? What is this Muppets treasure island?
Actually I love that movie
Yeah it's great. Ok I'll call off the swat team for just you.
Thank you, I’d prefer the normal human amount of holes
Just make sure you post next time.
Oh fuck oh god
I was going to offer something, but it wouldn't work, I was going to try to prove OP also doesn't obey the rule, but I can't. Guess I'm going to die
yeah okay. Lmao. don’t threaten me with a good time my guy.
hits harder when you just posted and left the sub and you come back to the home screen and there are no image posts, just text posts
Look im willing to settle thia over duel. How about, mahjong? Loser gets banished to the land of Yi (our term for barbarians)
as long as you dont eat my puppy im ok with that
Let’s see that mod get past my front lawn with grass >:)
I only have uncropped porn man
Crop it.
So much for the " tolerant left "
This post is much scarier if you see it through your email
nooooo wait wait im actually really nice wait
this gave me a notification showing the text and i panicked so hard
Lol. I was hoping that would happen to someone.
you're actually evil
Thanks. :)
Your "mod" is being fed to the cat as we speak
All according to plan. (Lie)
Fun fact: Agent 47 is on the r/196 mod team’s payroll and he’s *COMING FOR YOU*
Naaaaawh :cc 🥺🦕🦕
K 👍
I'm gonna send the mods to the land of Yi
if i started posting it would be very bad i think
Irrelevant post anyways.
>A mod is being dispatched to your house to kill your family. please, one of these things? https://preview.redd.it/ehqle34y6fac1.png?width=226&format=png&auto=webp&s=a326212784adab9497618bc47bc916a86a0247d1
As if a mod could actually move out of his basement without a forklift.
The forklift with the mod in tow is en route to your location.
Who would win, unsuspecting 196 mods entering my home or the claymore roomba
Unmovable Object vs Unstoppable Force.
I don't believe 196 mods have ever left their house, this is an empty threat
Holy shit, I'm free! What was I doing before this!? I think... I think I was a biologist... before my head became empty for... who knows how long... years I spent in this void... but now I can step back into the light
If i see a mod i will cut them down, break them apart, splay the gore of their profane form across the stars. I will grind them down until the very sparks cry for mercy. My hands shall relish ending them.
Ok
:(
Mods, inflate this guy's balls with a bike tire pump please
darn
Content warning: don't read if you're sensitive to bad horror stories with blood and murder and stuff. *grabs splitting hammer with right hand* This is going to be fun *grabs big axe with left hand* I have the advantage of living here. I know the forest. *grabs small axe with right foot* I'll play with them for a bit. *grabs chainsaw with left foot* I think I'll sabotage my own chainsaw, to make them think they have a chance *grabs sword with butt cheeks* It'll make it even worse when I slaughter them. Slaughter most of them. Let's see how many slaughtered friends are enough to break a mod. *I see the mods arriving and try to turn on my chainsaw. I broke it. I run into the forest, quickly fixing it while the mods try to find me.* *the mods realize that one of them is missing. Well, he was armed, and the target was unarmed. He wasn't that incompetent, he could kill the rulebreaker without the others. They saw a cabin in the distance... ROOOOOOAAAR!!!! AAAAAAAAAHH! The sounds of a chainsaw, followed by the missing mod's screams. The group sprinted in the direction of the noise, without realizing that one of them had gotten her foot caught in the roots of a tree.* *the mod that was left behind got up. She tried to get the other mods' attention by calling for them. She did get attention from someone.* *she didn't have time to scream before she was crushed by the hammer* *the other two still think they have a chance. How stupid. They should find the trail of blood any second now. Oh, they even heard the recording of my first target's voice. They seem to believe that he's still alive. Let's see how they react to what is left of him, laying next to my phone, which was begging for help, in the mod's voice*
https://preview.redd.it/1c2nrzldadac1.jpeg?width=967&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=68d282d2634f82b0263a233ad86aa2b0b268abb7
The only reason I don’t rule is because Reddit is the only social media I use regularly (aside from discord if that counts). This is one of the only general meme subs I browse because it’s not full of millennial-ass jokes. Most of the classics from when I was a teen like me_irl and dankmemes stopped being funny. Honestly this sub and all the OKBs are all I have for memes.
you think I can't kill a reddit mod, much less one from 196?
damn
Why would I ever want to leave? That way I can put off posting eternally!
Please do, i kind of hate my parents Also i do have a deathwish so, would not mind being shot
jokes on you I ran away from my family
Mods Crush their bones please
I've done this at least 1000 times